I am diving deeply into my memoir project.   The book is called Umbilical Cord: A Memoir of Adoption about my experience as an adoptee, finding and meeting my birth mother, and becoming a mother myself.  It is a story about family, mother love, abondonment, secrets and hope; it is a story of discovery.  I have been “working on” on this memoir for over decade, since just after I met my birth mother for the first time.  Now, I am ready to show up for the work and inner journey of writing this book.  I declared 2012 “the year I write this memoir”.  It is February, I have the project dusted off, a big white sheet identifying the scenes I have written so far, and my memoir writing books on my desk.  I have spent the past month “getting ready to write”.  Now, I need to get down to it because note to self: thinking about writing is not writing!

Memoir writing causes me to be in the present but also pulled deeply into the past, while also holding a vision for the future.  Five things I believe so far about memoir writing (please note I have been a journal writer for over 25 years)…

1) The more deeply I tell my own story, the more universal the story becomes.

2) Other peoples’ stories can help us learn something about ourselves.

3) Consensus building or approval seeking from family members (or key characters in the story) are not helpful elements of writing a memoir.  Memoirs are not greatly improved by a large censor voice.

4) The more I write the more I want to write.  Writing helps unlock writer’s block.

5) There can be a gift of healing through writing memoir, through understanding woundedness and re-storying our experiences.  I once read, “Adoption is the only trauma where we expect the victim to be grateful.”  I am exploring both the losses and the gains brought into my life through being an adoptee.  I am doing this both on the page and in my heart.

Watch this blog for more musings on my memoir writing journey!

One of my 2012 commitments is to keep improving how I eat in order to optimize my health, energy and vitality, while also teaching healthy eating/living habits to our young sons.  I live on Salt Spring Island, a place where eating a healthy diet is accessible and doable.  In the summer and fall, I drive by two farm stands offering locally grown produce, organic eggs, etc. within my 2 km commute from my studio to our house.

We all know a lot about how to eat healthy, yet knowledge does not always translate into behaviour. We can know something is good for us and still not do it.  Whether it be eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, managing stress, getting enough rest, etc. – these are all things we know are essential for optimal health, yet many people don’t do these things on a regular basis or at all.  In North America, we have pandamic rates of diabetes, obesity, and heart disease - all of which are fundamentally lifestyle diseases.

A friend of mine, Chris Gay, is a raw food/raw living coach.  You can find her at http://www.rawsomecoaching.ca  She recently shared an informative video (see below) about how to cure and prevent diabetes through diet (not drugs, but simply and profoundly changing what gets put into the body).  I hope you will find this video both informative and inspiring, while offering you tips for your own healthy eating and healthy living.

When I was pregnant with both of our sons, I dealt with gestational diabetes.  During my first pregnancy, I required 4 injections of insulin a day to safely manage this disease.  Labour had to be induced prior to our baby’s due date as a result of the complications that arose from the gestational diabetes.  Nine months after the birth of our first son, I learned I was pregnant again.  This time, I applied what I had learned about diet and exercise as a way of managing diabetes without medication and was able to stay drug free throughout the entire pregnancy.  (I did this from the very beginning of the pregnancy while during my first pregnancy I was not diagnosed with diabetes until well into the pregnancy and I did not know a thing about the disease - so experience and knowledge also played a helpful role the second time around).  The good news is when we know better, we can do better!

Here’s the video…

I haven’t been blogging lately because I have been working on writing offline.  We have just completed our book proposal for Writing Alone Together:  Journaling Within A Circle of Women for Creativity, Compassion and Connection (co-authored with Wendy Judith Cutler and Dr. Ahava Shira) and we are excited to send this labour of love off to potential publishers.

We are excited to bring this book to you in 2012, one way or the other!  The writer’s path is not for the weak of heart.  It is a courageous act to put your ideas, thoughts, feelings, soul onto the page.  If you are making your mark with words – know you are not alone.  Whether you write for yourself and/or for others – words and writing have the power to heal, inspire, inform.

Writing changes live, changes thinking.  In 2012, I am a writer.  I am a speaker.  I surrender to the call of words on the page and on the stage.

May we write alone together.  Together and alone.  To make art.  To make a difference.

Every week I hear my coaching clients say the same thing:  “I don’t have any time for self-care!”

People who often neglect their own needs for rest, replenishment, joy, play, exercise, healthy food, and time to fill their emotional cups end up feeling stressed, exhausted, resentful, anxious, and often depressed. 

The most common obstacle to truly caring for yourself is not about time, it is about feelings of self-worth – believing that you are deserving of the time, energy, money, five minutes to yourself – whatever the case may be.

Oprah once said, “I don’t have a weight problem, I have a self-care problem.”

Many of us have problems with self-care; I see this as especially true for women and for individuals who do work that is other-focussed by nature (helping professionals, healers, social workers, counsellors, educators, caregivers, health care professionals, etc.) – where caring and empathy are at the occupational core.

Your worth is not based on how much you give, your worth is your birthright, it is already present – waiting for you to remember you are enough.

What will it take for you to make yourself a priority?  At least for a few minutes each day. All of your caring work and roles will be enhanced each time you pause and truly care for yourself, nourish your spirit, and feel your own worthiness deep within.  You deserve to care for yourself as you would someone you really, really love. We all do.

I hear from lots of social workers and human service professionals who are looking for work.

I was recently contacted by Harriet Gordon, who recently published an article featuring 25 Exciting Career Opportunities in Human Services. I thought some of you who read this blog might find her information helpful.

You can find her article at http://www.humanservicesdegree.org/25-exciting-career-opportunities-in-human-services/

To making a difference, Lynda

Download your free copy of the new Life Source Writing™ ebook filled with creative journal writing prompts and exercises, 10 benefits of journaling, and other musings to spark your writing for wellness and personal growth on the page!

Simply sign-up on the right hand side of this webpage and get immediate access to the ebook.

Writing for yourself, and perhaps others too, is a powerful way to gain clarity and tap into your wisdom within.

I welcome your comments about this new ebook!

Write for yourself often, write for joy, love, learning!

Whole hearted living…

Awakened living…

Conscious living…

As helpers and healers, we give a lot of ourselves to others – we listen, care, support, champion and serve with our hearts wide open.  In our giving , we also receive - a sense of meaning and purpose.  We are priviliged to witness the strength, and at times vulnerability, of the human spirit – our own and others.  Humility heals. 

As helpers and healers we do not have to be all knowing, but rather fully present to the richness of listening and living.  We do not have to solve every problem but rather invite light and love to the heart of the matter.  We do not have to have it all together (yes, our children scream at the checkout in grocery stores, we make mistakes, we are human!) – but rather we are called to be awake, self-aware, and mindful – so that we can support others to do the same.  

Healing (to make whole) alone and together – we raise the vibration of hope, possibility, inspiration, love, and empowerment.  In turn we help make the world, our workplaces, our homes - more humane, compassionate, kind, just, healthy, peaceful, and joy-filled places to be.

Dear soulful helper…love your wounds, your truth, your passions, your frailities, your convictions, your work, and your path AND always remember you are enough!  Worthiness is your birthright.  Worthiness is a powerful come from place – a strong foundation upon which to live, to love, and to serve.  You are deserving…worthy…significant…loved.  You are enough.  Thank YOU for the difference you make each and every day.

Love, Lynda

I think of health and wellness through a simple lens…what am I giving and receiving that nourishes me, what am I giving and receiving that depletes me? I need people, activities, and ways of being that fill my cup to be greater than those that might deplete me. I have never been great at math (with the exception of a grade 12 math course that I aced for some unknown reason!)  Our optimal health – in mind, body, heart, and spirit – requires some math, or requires attention on the ratio of choices, time and attention that we give to the things and choices that ultimately are in service to our highest possible health, well-being and fulfillment in all areas of our life.

For example, here are some of the questions I ask myself on a regular basis…

Do I eat a healthy diet? Is the percentage of good, nutritious food that feeds my body greater than the junk I might choose to put into it? For example, do I drink more green smoothies and less white wine?

Do I move my body regularly? Do I choose to get up, move around, go for a walk, stretch, do yoga… enough to gain the benefits of regular exercise in relation to the hours I sit at my desk?

Do I book regular date nights with my husband to create enough time and space to listen attentively, relax together, dance in the living room such that it balances all the time we are on as parents to our two young sons, running two businesses, and keeping up with the demands and responsibilities of daily life?

Have I nurtured what feeds my soul? In the past month? The past week? The past 24 hours?

What questions do you need and/or want to ask yourself as check-ins regarding how you are filling your own cup?

How does your health and wellness math add up?

Vulnerability is a powerful human virtue, while it is something you might want to avoid for fear of feeling – well vulnerable – it actually is a state that can bring deeper connections, health, insights, and greater compassion with self and others. 

Brene Brown, a fellow Social Worker, studies human connection and our ability to love and belong – she offers an amazing TED talk about the power of connection and vulnerability – if you are interested in this inspiring talk and rich perspective, take a look here…

I was just a Premier Coach along Success Row at the 2011 eWomen Conference in Dallas, Texas.  I had the privilege of hearing some amazing speakers including Jack Canfield, Sandra Yancey, Lisa Sasevich and many others.  Over and over again, in different ways, there was a theme to the messages and stories being told – including: 1) believe in yourself 2) align with your purpose, and 3) serve with your gifts.

I was writing in my journal after midnight on the Thursday evening of the conference, attempting to process all the learning and ideas from the day when all of a sudden this question appeared:  ”What lights you up?” and I wrote for an hour until I couldn’t move my pen anymore. Your turn…

Here are some journaling prompts to help put you in touch with your own unique purpose, passion, & gifts…

What lights you up?  I mean really lights you up?

What is your absolute on fire, on purpose, living your passion place? 

What is your brilliance zone…that sweet spot where your unique gifts shine?  When in this zone…you know it, your friends and family know it, the world knows it!

Happy writing!