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	<title>Credit Withdrawal - Helping You Kick the Credit Habit</title>
	
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	<description>Helping You Kick the Credit Habit, One Good Idea at a Time</description>
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  <title>Credit Withdrawal - Helping You Kick the Credit Habit</title>
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		<title>What is ‘Reverse Redline Mortgage Discrimination’?</title>
		<link>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/02/09/what-is-reverse-redline-mortgage-discrimination/</link>
		<comments>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/02/09/what-is-reverse-redline-mortgage-discrimination/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Feb 2009 13:07:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Randall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Housing Bubble]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bailout]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[banks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Government]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/?p=1035</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ok, I admit, I MIGHT have been wrong. It&#8217;s happened before (so rarely it&#8217;s hard to recognize at times) but this time I think I might be on the wrong side of the debate.
With the Subprime bubble decimating all within the blast range, I&#8217;ve never had a lot of sympathy for people that have gotten [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ok, I admit, I MIGHT have been wrong. It&#8217;s happened before (so rarely it&#8217;s hard to recognize at times) but this time I think I might be on the wrong side of the debate.</p>
<p>With the Subprime bubble decimating all within the blast range, I&#8217;ve never had a lot of sympathy for people that have gotten themselves into loans they couldn&#8217;t afford. I was of the opinion that they deserved what they got for not reading the fine print. That opinion is changing recently, since I&#8217;ve been hearing about a lending practice that gained popularity in the run-up to the Subprime meltdown.</p>
<blockquote><p><strong>Redline Discrimination &#8211; </strong>&#8220;Normal&#8221; redline discrimination occurs when businesses identify areas where they choose not to do business (either because it would unprofitable, or because other circumstances make doing business there extremely difficult). This happens a lot with inner-city and lower-income areas. Pizza deliveries won&#8217;t be made, newspapers aren&#8217;t delivered, and many &#8216;normal&#8217; services are not offered to those areas/residents because of socioeconomic discrimination.</p>
<p>An Example: Insurance companies (before being forced to by the government) would not offer insurance to some parts of Florida, as it is repeatedly hit by storms. It was unprofitable, and they didn&#8217;t want to take the much higher risk of covering the people in that area.</p></blockquote>
<h3>The New Discrimination</h3>
<p>With Reverse Redlining, a new practice arose of <em>focusing</em> on offering sub-prime mortgages to people in these economically challenged areas. On average, the people in these districts were less wealthy, less economically sophisticated, and were fairly easy prey for the sales pitches of the time, espousing that you could squeeze home equity money out of your home, and still make a profit as the home value went up.</p>
<p>Not to mention that the sub-prime mortgages provided the underwriter with more up-front fees and commissions (read: More MONEY) than a normal prime-rate loan. And as those underwriters planned to bundle and re-sell the mortgages as soon as possible, there was no risk <em>to them </em>that the mortgages would default.</p>
<p>It was VERY profitable, and so, became almost a standard practice throughout the industry. Many people that actually qualified for prime rate mortgages were talked into the more expensive, and more risky sub-prime variety.</p>
<h3>Shining a Light on the Problem</h3>
<p>Now, as the problem is starting to affect cities and states across the U.S. many state and local governments are seriously moving towards suing the larger banks for &#8220;predatory lending&#8221; practices, to try to recoup some of the lost tax revenues from these foreclosures. Many, if not all states are seeing projected revenue shortfalls, and the larger states (such as California) are taking actions now to try to deal with the expected lack of funds next year.</p>
<p>So far, cities like Cincinnati, Detroit, and others are putting together lawsuits against banks that used Reverse Redline Discrimination, in an attempt to &#8216;get back&#8217; some of the money their practices eliminated.</p>
<p>I wish them luck, but I don&#8217;t know that it&#8217;ll be any time soon before the lawsuits bear fruit.</p>
<p>In the meantime, they still have to deal with the spiraling problems of economic downturn, continuing (and in some cases accelerating) housing foreclosures, and a constituency that is just trying to survive these economic storms.</p>
<h3>A Change in Perception is Needed</h3>
<p>I know that even amongst my fellow bloggers, my initial knee-jerk reaction was not unusual. People should understand what they are signing and what they are getting into. Personal responsibility is a strong belief of mine.</p>
<p>But even with that belief, the apparent ease and widespread application of this unfair lending practice has gone a long way to changing my mind about this. I still believe that the people being taken advantage of should have read the fine print better (and possibly gotten a second opinion) but I can understand how the could have been taken in, by a slick salesperson and the allure of having more cash from their existing home. Everyone has some responsibility in causing the housing meltdown, but maybe in this case, the homeowner isn&#8217;t as guilty as I originally thought.</p>
<p><em><strong>Do you know someone that was &#8216;fast-sold&#8217; a new mortgage? Or someone that went with a subprime instead of prime rate mortgage on a sales person&#8217;s recommendation? Leave us a comment and let us know. </strong></em></p>
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		<title>It’s Time for the Stimulus Militia!</title>
		<link>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/02/02/its-time-for-the-stimulus-militia/</link>
		<comments>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/02/02/its-time-for-the-stimulus-militia/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:40:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Randall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Economic Crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/?p=1029</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Times are tough, really tough. Over 100,000 layoffs just last week alone. Gross Domestic Production down over 3% (the worst in over 25 years) and the price of houses continuing to go down. The government is trying everything it can to stop the stalling of the economy and get things going in a positive direction, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Times are tough, <em>really </em>tough. Over 100,000 layoffs just last week alone. Gross Domestic Production down over 3% (the worst in over 25 years) and the price of houses continuing to go down. The government is trying everything it can to stop the stalling of the economy and get things going in a positive direction, but as governments tend to do, they get bogged down in politics, and move at the speed of a non-melting glacier.</p>
<p>The government&#8217;s Stimulus Package, wafting it&#8217;s way through the halls of congress, has been received less-than-warmly by the Republican party, and by a number of people, as &#8220;too much money, not enough bang&#8221;. Even though we&#8217;re badly in need of infrastructure spending on, well, EVERYTHING. It&#8217;s still an issue of &#8220;will it work?!??&#8221;</p>
<p>To date, no government stimulus package in history has had an <em>immediate</em> effect on the economy. The idea of trying to turn something akin to a supertanker on a dime, no matter how big the tug boat pushing the change, is insane. The economic situation didn&#8217;t happen overnight, there&#8217;s no reason to expect it will be solved overnight either.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s also the main reason that it&#8217;s going on for so long.</p>
<h3>The Economic Culprit</h3>
<p>There&#8217;s lots of blame to go around; Sub-prime mortgage lenders, greedy/stupid/inexperienced mortgagees getting in over their heads, people living FAR beyond their means and having to pay the piper. There&#8217;s no end to targets for what&#8217;s going on now. But there&#8217;s actually only one culprit that is the cause of all this strife.</p>
<p><strong>Fear</strong>.</p>
<p>As bad as the subprime meltdown is, it&#8217;s only a small percentage of the overall loans in circulation. If the banks/agencies didn&#8217;t lose trust in each other and stop inter-bank lending, they would have been able to weather things better. One or two banks going under would have been a certainty, but without the ensuing panic selling by everyone, the markets wouldn&#8217;t have dived 40% in just a few short months.</p>
<p>Fear is also the cause for the continuing spate of layoffs going on. We&#8217;re in a death-spiral of fear and reaction to that fear.   <a href="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/windowslivewriteritstimeforthestimulusmilitia-60abpresentation1-6.jpg"><img style="border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px; margin: 10px; border-left: 0px; border-bottom: 0px" src="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/windowslivewriteritstimeforthestimulusmilitia-60abpresentation1-thumb-2.jpg" border="0" alt="Presentation1" width="269" height="244" align="left" /></a></p>
<p>As people fear that their jobs are in danger, they scale back their spending, which causes the self-fulfilling prophecy of downsizing.</p>
<p>Businesses have no choice but to lay off people (or in a few cases, scale back on hours for many rather than lay off the few). As businesses lay off workers, a new wave of fear is released into the workforce.</p>
<p>Lather, rinse, repeat.</p>
<p>We end up in a spiral of self-perpetuating fear that only increase in speed as things get worse.</p>
<p>Think of it as an economic tornado &#8211; It starts up from a lot of wisps of wind, but combined has the destructive ability akin to a force of nature.</p>
<p>The final fear that is stalling us is the &#8220;fear of doing the wrong thing&#8221;. When we started down this path, Congress put together a $750 Billion stimulus package to try to forestall the downturn. But the initial actions didn&#8217;t (or haven&#8217;t seemed to) work. Each legislator after that has their own idea of what will work and what won&#8217;t. In reality, this is a situation that <strong><em>no one</em></strong> has encountered before. The fear that they might do the wrong thing causes delays, indecision, and political debate and maneuvering. All things that allow the situation to continue on and get worse.</p>
<p>Deciding to do nothing, even if it&#8217;s to stop and debate about the stimulus measures, is still a decision. And waiting for &#8220;something&#8221; to happen, can lead to that &#8220;something&#8221; being an undesired drop in the economy.</p>
<p>So, now we know the main culprit. What can we do?</p>
<h3>Enter the Economic Militia</h3>
<p>Like the Minute Men of the American Revolution, I think it&#8217;s time to get the brave souls out there and prepare for economic battle! There&#8217;s a small, but growing percentage of the population that has embraced the &#8220;live within your means&#8221; lifestyle and are weathering the storm. It may not be the best of times, but for them, it&#8217;s not the worst of times either.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s time for this Economic Militia to step up and start spending.</p>
<p>Just as the American infrastructure needs investment in it, I&#8217;m sure lots of American households need investment in them as well. So here&#8217;s my plan.</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Plan </strong>- For those starting out in the frugal lifestyle, this may be what you&#8217;re in the midst of now. For others that have lived frugally, you&#8217;ve already done this step. Find out what your net income is and plan to live at 90% of that amount. Cut back on non-essentials until you have some available income. It won&#8217;t necessarily be easy, but we&#8217;re in the midst of a crisis here.</li>
<li><strong>Invest</strong> &#8211; Start putting that money into investments (in a responsible way). Start padding your 401k and IRA accounts, Open up 529 Education accounts. <em>Give to charities</em>. Whatever it takes to start getting money circulating again. DO this responsibly, and show the government, the banks, and your neighbors and friends that you have confidence that things are going to come out better.</li>
<li><strong>Get Green</strong> &#8211; As you invest, spend on things that encourage a move towards more responsible stewardship of our planet. Invest in companies that have strict pollution limiting policies, or companies that emphasize renewable resources and green-development. Vote with your greenbacks for a greener planet.</li>
<li><strong>SPEND (Responsibly)</strong> &#8211; We know that you&#8217;re a responsible person living within your means. Now it&#8217;s time to benefit from that lifestyle. There&#8217;s hundreds of different consumer items, all on some kind of sale, that need a good home. Maybe it&#8217;s time to replace that car with a more gas-efficient, newer one. Bargain down the car dealer and help both him and the economy by replacing a vehicle. Take a look around the house for things that you&#8217;ve been <em>meaning</em> to replace/fix/upgrade, and DO IT. Sales abound, and good bargains are out there to be had for those with some money. Don&#8217;t go in debt to get new things, but invest that extra 10% you&#8217;ve made into things that both improve your life, and get money into circulation.</li>
</ol>
<p>The rich are reeling from all the money they&#8217;ve lost over the last few months, and the overextended/poor don&#8217;t have the ability to get us out of this recession, what with just fighting to survive. It&#8217;s time for each and every member of the 5th Brigade of the Fiscally Responsible Economic Militia to grab up their checkbooks, and head out to the battle. With pen in hand, and a careful strategy of only engaging the enemy (fear) on <em>our</em> terms, we can defeat this Recession, and bring the victory of Economic Stability back home.</p>
<p><strong>Are you going to do <em>your</em> part to help resolve the Recession? What do <em>you </em>think it will take? Leave us a comment and let us know. </strong></p>
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		<title>Why Isn’t the Toxic Asset Relief Program (TARP) Working?</title>
		<link>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/01/27/why-isnt-the-toxic-asset-relief-program-tarp-working/</link>
		<comments>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/01/27/why-isnt-the-toxic-asset-relief-program-tarp-working/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Jan 2009 13:37:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Randall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Economic Crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Economy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/?p=1023</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[With roughly half of the government&#8217;s TARP (Toxic Asset Relief Program) funds already disbursed, why is it that we&#8217;re still having so many problems with the subprime and &#8216;packaged&#8217; loans that triggered this downslide in the economy? Wasn&#8217;t the idea to get rid of these debts on the bank&#8217;s balance sheets and allow them to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>With roughly half of the government&#8217;s TARP (Toxic Asset Relief Program) funds already disbursed, why is it that we&#8217;re still having so many problems with the subprime and &#8216;packaged&#8217; loans that triggered this downslide in the economy? Wasn&#8217;t the idea to get <em>rid</em> of these debts on the bank&#8217;s balance sheets and allow them to start making new loans? Shouldn&#8217;t the banks be healthier and out there lending money to their customers by now?</p>
<p>Unfortunately, the answer is &#8220;No&#8221;.</p>
<h3>That Was Then</h3>
<p>Originally, when the markets started free-falling last November (after the government refused to come to the rescue of Lehman Brothers, and allowed them to go under) a wave of panic selling took off, plunging the stock market up and down like some kind of demented roller-coaster. In an effort to stop or at least curtail some of the market jitters, Fed chairman Bernanke and then-Treasury secretary Paulson went begging to congress for enough funds to &#8220;buy up&#8221; all the &#8220;toxic&#8221; debt that was causing the banks so much trouble. Those sub-prime mortgages that had fueled the housing bubble had turned into huge packages of debt that were so intertwined, that it was virtually impossible for banks to deal with individual loans. As a group, these &#8216;packaged&#8217; loans turned out to be financially lethal, as the bad loans couldn&#8217;t be separated from the good, dragging them all down.</p>
<p>Bernanke/Paulson wanted funds to take the subprime loans off the bank&#8217;s hands, and manage them centrally, until such a time they could be separated, restructured, and sold back to the public (presumably at either break-even or at a profit).</p>
<p>Statements like &#8220;catastrophic depression&#8221; and &#8220;economic meltdown&#8221; were standard phrases used throughout the process of securing this money. Congress was in such a panic to do <em>something</em> that they released the money. The allocated $700 billion in funds to the TARP program, basically handing Paulson a huge blank check, to buy up assets as he saw fit.</p>
<h3>This is Now</h3>
<p>However, it didn&#8217;t go quite that smoothly. Along the way, the strategy shifted from buying up the bad assets (and getting them off the bank&#8217;s hands) to buying stakes in the banks themselves. Something along the lines of a quasi-nationalization of the major banks. Tens of billions were distributed to many of the top banks, whether they needed/wanted it or not, in hopes of boosting consumer confidence in the banking system as a whole. The overriding idea being if the banks were sufficiently capitalized, they could <em>immediately</em> start making loans to consumers again and get the market back into play, if nothing else.</p>
<p>Didn&#8217;t happen.</p>
<p>The banks that received the funds largely sat on them for an extended period of time. No new loans, no consumer help, no NOTHING. Some of the banks (Bank of America in particular) used the funds to &#8216;buy up&#8217; other failing banks, and make themselves larger. The net effect was that the credit markets came to a halt, all but stopping consumer lending. In a domino effect, many businesses of all sizes saw their lines of credit reduced or eliminated, causing problems with making payroll and buying supplies. This caused yet <em>more </em>problems with closings and layoffs. And the cycle continued, as banks, seeing the closings and layoffs, tightened lending even further.</p>
<h3>So How Do We Get Out of This Mess?</h3>
<p>There remains an additional $350 Billion in funds to be disbursed. Pres. Obama has received authorization to disburse the funds, but is waiting to formulate a more effective strategy for getting the money to actually help the market get back on it&#8217;s feet.</p>
<p>One idea is to go back to the original intention of moving bad debts out of the banks, to a &#8216;Bad Bank&#8217; owned/operated by the government (similar the Resolution Trust Corporation of the late &#8217;90s) to be centrally managed. This would give the banks leeway to make loans again, and fulfill the original premise of the bailout. There&#8217;s no guarantee that even this would work, as the government can&#8217;t &#8220;force&#8221; the banks to lend money. (Yet, that might be written up as part of the requirements for receiving some of the second-half of the bailout money).</p>
<p>As it stands, with half the funds gone, there&#8217;s little or no visible effect on the banking system or in the market. It&#8217;s time to try something new.</p>
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		<title>Festival of Frugality #160</title>
		<link>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/01/12/festival-of-frugality-160/</link>
		<comments>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/01/12/festival-of-frugality-160/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:20:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Randall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Roundup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carnivals]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/?p=1009</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Welcome to the January 13, 2009 edition of Festival of Frugality hosted here at Credit Withdrawal. It&#8217;s still cold here in the mid-west, but there&#8217;s a sprinkling of good recipes, good ideas, and great reading to help you take some of the chill off.
Favorite Posts
Chris presents The Joy of Owning Nothing posted at financial reflections, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Welcome to the January 13, 2009 edition of Festival of Frugality hosted here at Credit Withdrawal. It&#8217;s still cold here in the mid-west, but there&#8217;s a sprinkling of good recipes, good ideas, and great reading to help you take some of the chill off.</p>
<h3>Favorite Posts</h3>
<p><strong>Chris</strong> presents <a href="http://www.financialreflections.com/the-joy-of-owning-nothing/380">The Joy of Owning Nothing</a> posted at <a href="http://www.financialreflections.com">financial reflections</a>, saying, &#8220;I take a lesson from the life of a multimillionaire who says &#8220;no&#8221; to most any purchase.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>The Shark Investor</strong> presents <a href="http://sharkinvestor.com/2009/01/12/how-to-live-the-life-of-your-dreams-visual-guide/">How To Live The Life Of Your Dreams (Visual Guide)</a> posted at <a href="http://sharkinvestor.com">The Shark Investor</a></p>
<p><strong>savingadvice</strong> presents <a href="http://www.savingadvice.com/blog/2009/01/06/103761_i-want-to-be-a-frugalista.html">I Want to be a Frugalista!</a> posted at <a href="http://www.savingadvice.com/blog">SavingAdvice.com Blog</a></p>
<p><strong>MoneyNing</strong> presents <a href="http://moneyning.com/money-beliefs/5-surefire-ways-to-stop-thinking-your-paycheck-is-never-enough/">5 Surefire Ways to Stop Thinking Your Paycheck is Never Enough</a> posted at <a href="http://moneyning.com">Money Ning</a></p>
<p><strong>Joanne</strong> presents <a href="http://simply-saving.com/21-ways-to-create-an-emergency-fund/">21 Ways To Create An Emergency Fund</a> posted at <a href="http://simply-saving.com">Simply Saving</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Lazy Man and Money</strong> presents <a href="http://www.lazymanandmoney.com/how-to-stock-a-bar/">How to Stock a Bar</a> posted at <a href="http://www.lazymanandmoney.com">Lazy Man and Money</a>.</p>
<p><strong>J. Savings</strong> presents <a href="http://www.budgetsaresexy.com/2009/01/would-you-take-10-pay-cut-if-it-meant.html">Would you take a 10% pay cut if it meant saving an employee?</a> posted at <a href="http://www.budgetsaresexy.com/">Budgets are Sexy.</a></p>
<h3><strong>Cheap and Free Stuff</strong></h3>
<h3><strong></strong><strong><a href="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/d209d5022f.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-1012" title="d209d5022f" src="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/d209d5022f-300x240.jpg" alt="d209d5022f" width="300" height="240" /></a></strong></h3>
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<p><strong>Carma</strong> presents <a href="http://standeviations.blogspot.com/2008/06/how-to-find-deals-on-web.html">How to Find Deals on the Web</a> posted at <a href="http://standeviations.blogspot.com/">Standard Deviations</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Kathy Hester (GeekyPoet)</strong> presents <a href="http://geekypoet.wordpress.com/finding-organic-coupons/">Finding Organic Coupons « Geek, Poet, Housewife Wannabe</a> posted at <a href="http://geekypoet.wordpress.com">Geek, Poet, Housewife Wannabe</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Adam Hagerman</strong> presents <a href="http://www.moneyrelationship.com/wedding/frugal-wedding-tip-save-the-date-cards/">Frugal Wedding Tip: Save the Date Cards</a> posted at <a href="http://www.moneyrelationship.com">Your Money Relationship</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Andrew Schultz</strong> presents <a href="http://andrew-schultz.com/personal-development/budget/skype-vs-verizon-saved-me-63170/142/">Skype vs. Verizon &#8211; Saved me $631.70!</a> posted at <a href="http://andrew-schultz.com">Andrew-Schultz.com</a></p>
<p><strong>Myscha Theriault</strong> presents <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/meat-money-grocery-saving-tips-for-carnivores">Meat Money: Grocery Saving Tips for Carnivores | Wise Bread</a> posted at <a href="http://www.wisebread.com/home">Wise Bread</a></p>
<p><strong>Jim</strong> presents <a href="http://www.bargaineering.com/articles/free-college-money-the-fafsa.html">Free College Money: The FAFSA on Blueprint for Financial Prosperity</a> posted at <a href="http://www.bargaineering.com/articles">Blueprint for Financial Prosperity</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Dan at Everydayfinance</strong> presents <a href="http://everydayfinance.blogspot.com/2008/12/how-i-saved-250year-for-life-with.html">How I Saved $250/Year for Life with Comcast</a> posted at <a href="http://everydayfinance.blogspot.com/">Everyday Finance</a></p>
<p><strong>ChristianPF</strong> presents <a href="http://www.christianpf.com/free-franklin-planner-templates/">Free Franklin Planner templates</a> posted at <a href="http://www.christianpf.com">Money in the Bible | Christian Personal Finance Blog</a></p>
<p><strong>Andy</strong> presents <a href="http://tightfistedmiser.com/2009/01/02/five-things-you-should-get-for-free/">Five Things You Should Get for Free</a> posted at <a href="http://tightfistedmiser.com">Tight Fisted Miser</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Kelly from Almost Frugal</strong> presents <a href="http://almostfrugal.com/2009/01/09/frugal-gifts-for-new-parents-and-new-babies/">Frugal Gifts For New Parents and New Babies</a> posted at <a href="http://almostfrugal.com">Almost Frugal</a>.</p>
<h3>Great Tips and Advice</h3>
<h3><a href="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/d234eb03e5.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-1013" title="d234eb03e5" src="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/d234eb03e5-300x240.jpg" alt="d234eb03e5" width="300" height="240" /></a></h3>
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<p><strong>Shaun Kavanagh</strong> presents <a href="http://www.kavmerica.com/?p=160">Use Your Credit Card for Everything You Can!</a> posted at <a href="http://www.kavmerica.com">Kavmerica.com</a>.</p>
<p><strong>FIRE Getters</strong> presents <a href="http://firefinance.blogspot.com/2008/10/save-energy-lower-heating-bill.html">12 Tips To Lower Your Heating Bill</a> posted at <a href="http://firefinance.blogspot.com/">FIRE Finance</a>.</p>
<p><strong>juicefairy</strong> presents <a href="http://juicefairy.com/2009/01/06/new-year-better-credit-score-post-1/">New Year, Better Credit Score: Post 1</a> posted at <a href="http://juicefairy.com">Juicefairy</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Cooupon Artist</strong> presents <a href="http://www.artofthecoupon.com/15-minutes-day-frugal-life/">15 Minutes a Day Toward a More Frugal Life | artofthecoupon.com</a> posted at <a href="http://www.artofthecoupon.com">artofthecoupon.com</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>GrrlScientist</strong> presents <a href="http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/2009/01/survival_skills_101_frugal_liv.php">Survival Skills 101: Frugal Living</a> posted at <a href="http://scienceblogs.com/grrlscientist/">Living the Scientific Life</a></p>
<p><strong>Morrison</strong> presents <a href="http://alldoorsconsidered.blogspot.com/2009/01/only-1-new-years-resolution.html">Only 1 New Years&#8217; Resolution.</a> posted at <a href="http://alldoorsconsidered.blogspot.com/">ALL DOORS CONSIDERED.</a>.</p>
<p><strong>FMF</strong> presents <a href="http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/2009/01/reminder-pay-attention-to-scanners.html">Reminder: Pay Attention to Scanners</a> posted at <a href="http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/">Free Money Finance</a>, saying, &#8220;Simple way to save money &#8212; pay attention!&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>Madison</strong> presents <a href="http://www.mydollarplan.com/16-ways-to-do-it-yourself/">16 Ways to Do It Yourself</a> posted at <a href="http://www.mydollarplan.com">My Dollar Plan</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Dave</strong> presents <a href="http://cheapogroovo.vox.com/library/post/beater-bucks---7-tips-to-keep-your-car-running.html">Beater Bucks &#8211; 7 Tips To Keep Your Car Running</a> posted at <a href="http://cheapogroovo.vox.com/library/posts/page/1/">Cheapo Groovo</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>RC</strong> presents <a href="http://www.thinkyourwaytowealth.com/2009/01/04/creating-a-household-budget-and-why-it-is-important/">Creating a Household Budget and Why it is Important</a> posted at <a href="http://www.thinkyourwaytowealth.com">Think Your Way to Wealth</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Rob</strong> presents <a href="http://www.negotiationtraininginfo.com/negotiating-car-purchases/">Negotiating Car Purchases</a> posted at <a href="http://www.negotiationtraininginfo.com">Negotiation Training Info</a></p>
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<p><strong>Doctor S</strong> presents <a href="http://www.financeurlife.com/2009/01/world-learns-to-live-frugal-in-2009.html">The World Learns to Live Frugal in 2009</a> posted at <a href="http://www.financeurlife.com/">Finance Your Life</a></p>
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<p><strong>Nicki</strong> presents <a href="http://www.domesticcents.com/series/the-timeless-art-of-sewing/">The Timeless Art Of Sewing</a> posted at <a href="http://www.domesticcents.com">Domestic Cents</a>, saying, &#8220;Thank you!&#8221;</p>
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<p><strong>Ray K</strong> presents <a href="http://www.justsaver.com/save-money-by-always-being-in-a-contract/">Save Money By Always Being In A Contract</a> posted at <a href="http://www.justsaver.com">JustSaver.com</a></p>
<p><strong>Super Saver</strong> presents <a href="http://my-wealth-builder.blogspot.com/2009/01/stretching-our-dining-out-dollars.html">Stretching our Dining Out Dollars</a> posted at <a href="http://my-wealth-builder.blogspot.com/">My Wealth Builder</a></p>
<p><strong>Savings Toolbox</strong> presents <a href="http://www.savingstoolbox.com/2009/01/06/reducing-what-you-waste-will-save-some-cash/">Reducing What You Waste Will Save Some Cash</a> posted at <a href="http://www.savingstoolbox.com">Savings Toolbox</a>.</p>
<p><strong>TH in SoC</strong> presents <a href="http://thewellrundry.blogspot.com/2009/01/digital-television-and-frugal.html">Digital Television and Frugal Entertainment</a> posted at <a href="http://thewellrundry.blogspot.com/">The Well Run Dry</a></p>
<p><strong>Silicon Valley Blogger</strong> presents <a href="http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog/index.php/2008/12/01/find-deals-discount-coupons-freebies-online-tools-to-save-money/">21 Deal Sites and Online Tools To Help You Save Money</a> posted at <a href="http://www.thedigeratilife.com/blog">The Digerati Life</a></p>
<p><strong>Jill</strong> presents <a href="http://bestfreegrocerycoupons.com/blog/top-coupon-tips/">Top Coupon Tips |</a> posted at <a href="http://bestfreegrocerycoupons.com/blog">Jill</a>.</p>
<p><strong>The Smarter Wallet</strong> presents <a href="http://thesmarterwallet.com/2008/smart-frugal-tips-to-shop-for-clothes-online/">Smart and Frugal Tips To Shop For Clothes Online</a> posted at <a href="http://thesmarterwallet.com">The Smarter Wallet</a></p>
<h3>Resolutions and Budgeting</h3>
<h3><a href="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/persistence-7.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-1014" title="persistence-7" src="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/persistence-7-300x228.jpg" alt="persistence-7" width="300" height="228" /></a></h3>
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<p><strong>Roshawn Watson</strong> presents <a href="http://watsoninc.blogspot.com/2009/01/3-financial-decisions-for-great-2009.html">3 Financial Decisions for a Great 2009</a> posted at <a href="http://watsoninc.blogspot.com/">Watson Inc</a></p>
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<p><strong>Bryce</strong> presents <a href="http://www.saveandconquer.com/?p=1358">Number One New Year&#8217;s Resolution</a> posted at <a href="http://www.saveandconquer.com">Save and Conquer</a></p>
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<p><strong>Michael.</strong> presents <a href="http://michaelemilio.com/living-on-a-budget-reasons-and-motivations/">Living on a Budget: Reasons and Motivations</a> posted at <a href="http://michaelemilio.com">Michael Emilio</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Todd</strong> presents <a href="http://harvestingdollars.com/2009/01/04/budgeting-basics/">Budgeting Basics</a> posted at <a href="http://harvestingdollars.com">HarvestingDollars</a></p>
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<h3>Other Neat Stuff</h3>
<p><a href="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/wakeupcalls.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-1015" title="wakeupcalls" src="http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/wakeupcalls-300x240.jpg" alt="wakeupcalls" width="300" height="240" /></a></p>
<p><strong>TStrump</strong> presents <a href="http://www.thestrump.com/6-ways-to-adopt-the-freegan-lifestyle">6 Ways to Adopt the Freegan Lifestyle | The Strump</a> posted at <a href="http://www.thestrump.com">The Strump &#8211; Financial Blog</a>,</p>
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<p><strong>Praveen</strong> presents <a href="http://simple-trading-system.blogspot.com/2008/09/joy-of-down-sell.html">My Simple Trading System: Joy of the Down Sell</a> posted at <a href="http://simple-trading-system.blogspot.com/">My Simple Trading System</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Condo Blues</strong> presents <a href="http://condo-blues.blogspot.com/2009/01/organize-your-life-with-six-pack.html">Organize Your Life with Six Pack Containers!</a> posted at <a href="http://condo-blues.blogspot.com/">Condo Blues</a></p>
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<p><strong>Aryn</strong> presents <a href="http://www.soundmoneymatters.com/winter-foods/">Top Ten Frugal Winter Foods</a> posted at <a href="http://www.soundmoneymatters.com">Sound Money Matters</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Chuck Russell</strong> presents <a href="http://buyanauto.blogspot.com/2009/01/hyundai-assurance-program-buy-back-your.html">Hyundai Assurance Program; Buy Back Your Car</a> posted at <a href="http://buyanauto.blogspot.com/">Car Buying Tips To Save You Money</a>.</p>
<p><strong>HowToMe</strong> presents <a href="http://www.howtome.com/?p=361">How To Bake Rusks</a> posted at <a href="http://www.howtome.com">HowToMe</a>, saying, &#8220;Rusks, a double-baked sweet biscuit, are usually dipped in one’s morning coffee, hot tea or hot chocolate before they are eaten, but they can also be enjoyed as they are for a snack. Reportedly, rusks can also be helpful to a teething child.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>vh</strong> presents <a href="http://funny-about-money.com/2009/01/09/snookered/">Snookered!</a> posted at <a href="http://funny-about-money.com">Funny about Money</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Destroy Debt</strong> presents <a href="http://www.destroydebt.com/blogs/debbie/364-debt-got-you-down-turn-that-frown-around.html">Debt Got You Down? Turn That Frown Around</a> posted at <a href="http://www.destroydebt.com/blogs/debbie.html">Debbie&#8217;s Debt Advice</a>.</p>
<p><strong>Scott Crawford</strong> presents <a href="http://www.debtgoal.com/blog/new-year-debt-resolution-step-6-simplify-for-success">DebtGoal » Blog Archive » New Year Debt Resolution Step 6: Simplify For Success</a> posted at <a href="http://www.debtgoal.com/blog">DebtGoal</a></p>
<p><strong>Stephanie</strong> presents <a href="http://www.stoptheride.net/2009/01/guilty-as-charged.html">Guilty as Charged</a> posted at <a href="http://www.stoptheride.net/">Stop the Ride!</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>nemesis</strong> presents <a href="http://www.wealthgears.com/2009/01/how-to-save-more-money.html">How to save more money</a> posted at <a href="http://www.wealthgears.com/">Wealth Gears</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Livingalmostlarge</strong> presents <a href="http://www.livingalmostlarge.com/2009/01/09/winter-is-good-for-the-pocketbook/">Winter is good for the pocketbook</a> posted at <a href="http://www.livingalmostlarge.com">LivingAlmostLarge</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Paula Wethington</strong> presents <a href="http://www.blogsmonroe.com/budget/2009/01/kitchen-prep-you-can-do-on-the-weekends/">Kitchen prep you can do on the weekends</a> posted at <a href="http://www.blogsmonroe.com/budget">Monroe on a Budget</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Miss M</strong> presents <a href="http://missmmoney.blogspot.com/2009/01/frugal-traditional-skills.html">Frugal Traditional Skills</a> posted at <a href="http://missmmoney.blogspot.com/">M is for Money</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Shadox</strong> presents <a href="http://moneyandsuch.blogspot.com/2009/01/where-did-our-money-go-in-2008.html">Where Did Our Money Go in 2008?</a> posted at <a href="http://moneyandsuch.blogspot.com/">Money and Such</a>, saying, &#8220;Looking back at 2008 and how our family of 5 spent its cash.&#8221;</p>
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<p><strong>Ms. Smarty Pants</strong> presents <a href="http://ms.smartypantsknowitall.com/archives/812">How I Plan to Save Money on Holiday Gifts with My Discover Card</a> posted at <a href="http://ms.smartypantsknowitall.com">Ms. Smarty Pants Know It All</a></p>
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<p><strong>SJ</strong> presents <a href="http://save-money-on-gas.info/alternative-fuels-are-they-really-the-boon-of-the-future/">Alternative Fuels &#8211; Are They Really The Boon Of The Future?</a> posted at <a href="http://save-money-on-gas.info">Save Money On Gas</a></p>
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<p><strong>Zantor</strong> presents <a href="http://www.openroadopenmind.com/how-to-take-control-of-your-finances/">How to Take Control of Your Finances</a> posted at <a href="http://www.openroadopenmind.com">Open Road Open Mind</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>The Investor</strong> presents <a href="http://monevator.com/2008/12/30/save-money-buying-gifts/">Stanford researchers prove you can spend 20% less on gifts for the same result</a> posted at <a href="http://monevator.com">Monevator.com</a></p>
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<p><strong>The Happy Rock</strong> presents <a href="http://www.thehappyrock.com/2009/01/09/out-with-the-old-in-with-the-new/">Out with the Old, In with the New &#8211; Switching Phone Companies</a> posted at <a href="http://www.thehappyrock.com">The Happy Rock</a></p>
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<p><strong>Megan</strong> presents <a href="http://www.countingmypennies.com/2009/01/05/unusual-food-sales/">Unusual food sales?</a> posted at <a href="http://www.countingmypennies.com">Counting My Pennies</a>.</p>
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<p><strong><a href="mailto:nickel@fivecentnickel.com">nickel@fivecentnickel.com</a></strong> presents <a href="http://www.moneytipper.com/archives/free-antibiotics-and-prenatal-vitamins/">Free Antibiotics (and Prenatal Vitamins!)</a> posted at <a href="http://www.moneytipper.com">Money Tipper</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>nickel</strong> presents <a href="http://www.fivecentnickel.com/2009/01/08/books-are-a-bargain/">Books are a Bargain</a> posted at <a href="http://www.fivecentnickel.com">fivecentnickel.com</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Lisa Spinelli</strong> presents <a href="http://greenerpastures.responsiblepersonalfinance.com/2009/01/10/successful-free-swap-sites-for-books-dvds-and-cds/">Successful Free Swap Sites for Books, DVDs, and CDs</a> posted at <a href="http://greenerpastures.responsiblepersonalfinance.com">Greener Pastures: Personal Finance</a></p>
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<p><strong>PatrickCML</strong> presents <a href="http://militaryfinancenetwork.com/2009/01/07/free-disney-tickets-for-military-members-and-retirees/">Free Disney Tickets for Military Members and Retirees</a> posted at <a href="http://militaryfinancenetwork.com">Military Finance Network</a></p>
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<p><strong>PatrickCML</strong> presents <a href="http://cashmoneylife.com/2009/01/09/introducing-money-saving-deals/">Introducing Money Saving Deals</a> posted at <a href="http://cashmoneylife.com">Cash Money Life</a>,</p>
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<p><strong>kathryn</strong> presents <a href="http://www.outofdebtchristian.com/basic-finances/basic-ideas-for-balancing-a-budget/">Basic Ideas for Balancing a Budget</a> posted at <a href="http://www.outofdebtchristian.com">Out of Debt Christian</a></p>
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<p><strong>Elizabeth Goldstein (Modern Gal)</strong> presents <a href="http://amoderngal.com/2009/01/11/surprising-frugal-advice-stop-being-so-obedient/">Surprising Frugal Advice: Stop Being so Obedient</a> posted at <a href="http://amoderngal.com">Modern Gal</a></p>
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<p><strong>Dana J.</strong> presents <a href="http://notmadeofmoney.com/blog/2009/01/frugal-weight-loss-tips.html">Frugal Weight Loss Tips</a> posted at <a href="http://notmadeofmoney.com/blog">Not Made Of Money</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Dana J.</strong> presents <a href="http://thefamilywallet.com/2009/01/recession-survival-clipping-coupons-and-shopping-the-sales.html">Recession Survival: Clipping Coupons and Shopping The Sales</a> posted at <a href="http://thefamilywallet.com">The Family Wallet</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Curt</strong> presents <a href="http://www.pennyjobs.com/pp/public/Articles.aspx?aid=269">Why Wages Don’t Fall During a Recession</a> posted at <a href="http://www.pennyjobs.com">PennyJobs.com</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Pamela Grundy</strong> presents <a href="http://www.personalfinanceanalyst.com/post-cereal-coupons-stock-up-on-milk-now/">Post Cereal Coupons; Stock up on Milk, NOW!</a> posted at <a href="http://www.personalfinanceanalyst.com/">Personal Finance Analyst</a>.</p>
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<p><strong>Mr. ToughMoneyLove</strong> presents <a href="http://toughmoneylove.com/2009/01/07/save-on-investment-expenses-and-losses-fire-your-financial-planner/">Save on Investment Expenses and Losses: Fire Your Financial Planner</a> posted at <a href="http://toughmoneylove.com">Tough Money Love » Hard Truth and Tough Love for Money Problems and Personal Finance</a></p>
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<p><strong>David</strong> presents <a href="http://www.personalfinanceology.com/decision-making-101-step-one-the-way-we-make-decisions/">Decision Making 101: Step One The Way We Make Decisions</a> posted at <a href="http://www.personalfinanceology.com">Personal Finance Ology</a></p>
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<p><strong>Penelope Pince</strong> presents <a href="http://pecuniarities.com/save-money-and-get-more-exercise-with-a-mini-home-gym/1787">Save Money and Get More Exercise With a Mini Home Gym</a> posted at <a href="http://pecuniarities.com">Pecuniarities</a></p>
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<p><strong>Heather Levin</strong> presents <a href="http://www.thegreenestdollar.com/?p=531">How To Have A Green Valentine?s Day</a> posted at <a href="http://www.thegreenestdollar.com">The Greenest Dollar</a></p>
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<p>That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of <strong>Festival of Frugality</strong> using the <a title="Submit an entry to “festival of frugality”" href="http://blogcarnival.com/bc/submit_162.html" target="_blank">carnival submission form</a>. Past posts and future hosts can be found on our <a title="Blog Carnival index for “festival of frugality”" href="http://blogcarnival.com/bc/cprof_162.html" target="_blank">blog carnival index page</a>.</p>
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		<title>Making the Hard Decisions – Caring for Your Elderly Parents</title>
		<link>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/01/12/making-the-hard-decisions-caring-for-your-elderly-parents/</link>
		<comments>http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/2009/01/12/making-the-hard-decisions-caring-for-your-elderly-parents/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jan 2009 13:19:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Randall</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health and Money]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Retirement]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.creditwithdrawal.com/wordpress/?p=1005</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My Mom was a wonderful woman. She was strong-willed, intelligent, and had a great business mind. Early in her life she owned an antique shop, buying and selling antique dolls and making thousands of dollars from each sale.
Yet, when she died, she was almost completely broke.
This is My Life
A bit of history first. I came [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My Mom was a wonderful woman. She was strong-willed, intelligent, and had a great business mind. Early in her life she owned an antique shop, buying and selling antique dolls and making thousands of dollars from each sale.</p>
<p>Yet, when she died, she was almost completely broke.</p>
<h3>This is My Life</h3>
<p>A bit of history first. I came from a lower-middle class family. My Dad held various jobs, mostly blue collar unskilled labor positions. My Mom managed the household finances and made sure everyone in the household was taken care of. We never went hungry and always had the clothes and things we needed.  There are times growing up that I <em>still</em> don&#8217;t know how we managed to keep afloat, but we did. My mom was a whiz with day-to-day finances. At the same time, she had absolutely NO concept of investments, retirement funding, IRA&#8217;s, mutual funds, or any number of fairly common financial items that most families take for granted today. She assumed that the government would take care of her when she got older, and that Social Security would provide whatever she needed.</p>
<p>If only that were true.</p>
<p>About 10 years ago, long after she had divorced, and long after I had entered and left the military and had gotten married myself, she started having financial problems. She didn&#8217;t have any income other than her Social Security, and her bills were steadily going up. She was lucky enough to qualify for an apartment in a retirement complex (not a rest home, as it didn&#8217;t supply any personal assistance) so her rent was low and steady. Her needs weren&#8217;t too great at that time. By that time, I had worked my way up in my career to a level where I could have had her move in with me without any problems.</p>
<p>She&#8217;d have none of it. She was independent, and that&#8217;s the way she wanted to stay! There was no way she could be talked into moving in with us. She was going to stay independent until the day she died. At the same time though, her medical expenses kept creeping up and up, and were costing her a larger percentage of her fixed income each month. We offered to help her pay for the medicine, but again, her pride intervened and we were flatly refused.</p>
<p>At least she allowed us to look into various social service programs for her. If you&#8217;ve never been unlucky enough to qualify for food stamps, Medicare/Medicaid, WIC, and other assistance programs, I <em>sincerely</em> hope that you never have to. But if you do qualify, DON&#8217;T HESITATE TO GET WHAT YOU&#8217;RE ENTITLED TO. My mother, it turned out, was eligible for a number of different aid programs. As she was nearly unable to get out and around, I was the one that went in her place to fill out all the forms, talk with all the social workers, and basically do everything I could to get her whatever aid and help she was qualified for. I&#8217;m immensely grateful to the social workers who helped me out, but at the same time, sitting for hours in the waiting areas was a desperately depressing experience. Surrounded by people that were down on their luck, and doing everything they could just to get by, it was a very sobering and humbling experience.</p>
<h3>So, What Have We Learned?</h3>
<p>I realized quite a few things during this period of my relationship with my mother. We had slowly started exchanging our roles as Parent and Child. I became the Parent, watching over my mother, the Child.</p>
<p>I also realized that when you have very little left in your life in the way of material items, you can still have your pride. My mother was a strong-willed and <strong><em>proud</em></strong> person. By the time I started taking up more and more of the duties of supporting her, that was pretty much all she had left. I took VERY special care to try to preserve that pride. She wouldn&#8217;t move in with me, because she though of it as losing her independence, so I did everything humanly possible to make sure she was able to remain independent, while still being taken care of.</p>
<p>I realized that even though our roles had changed, our love for each other was just as strong as ever. It&#8217;s that bond that helped her through the illnesses, the surgeries, and many of the bad times she had. She depended on me, and I was going to do whatever was necessary to take care of her.</p>
<p>My final realization is that discussing your parent&#8217;s finances with them is HARD. It&#8217;s a sensitive subject, particularly with someone who you look up to and admire. But you have to get past the admiration and down to reality to do anyone any good. We had a series of long, hard discussions about her finances. She finally started taking my advice (and consequently, some of my money) and once we broke the initial ice, things continued to get easier.</p>
<p>The one point that she was adamantly against was moving into a &#8216;real&#8217; retirement home. A home with nurses and assisted living facilities and all the rest. She wanted to remain independent for as long as possible.</p>
<h3>The Final Goodbye</h3>
<p>My mother had been in and out of hospitals for years, but in 2000, she went into the hospital with a particularly bad case of what turned out to be a respiratory infection. Also by that time, she had deteriorated in health to the point where she clearly could no longer live by herself.</p>
<p>I had to make the hardest decision then. It was finally time to make arrangements for her to be moved to a retirement home. My wife and I got handfuls of brochures from the hospital, and visited a number of homes, hoping to find one that my mother would be happy in. We finally settled on one near another of my mother&#8217;s friends, with big rooms, nice nurses, and a beautiful garden in the back patio area.</p>
<p>My Mom passed away that evening.</p>
<p>Later on, after the sadness had subsided some, I realized that she had gotten her wish. She had stayed independent and proud all the way to the end. She had lived her life how <em><strong>she</strong></em> wanted to, and I had succeeded in helping her do that.</p>
<p>Things <em>could</em> have been different. I <em>could</em> have <em>forced</em> changes on her, like going into the retirement home earlier. It might have made a difference. But then again, it might not have.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve never doubted my decision to help her live the life she wanted.</p>
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