El Criollo Loco

Vital Information: Bow Wow Wants Ciara

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 23:32:00 +0000

...to perform with him at Supafest in Australia.You know you remember that song they have together with the Super Mario melody. You know you remember that shit!

According to his actual Twitter, no Photoshop or nothing.

Bow Wow, read my font:

NIGGA PLEASE!

I accept that somewhere in the world (even Australia) you have fans that will claw their way through a life sized Taco Bell Quad Steak burrito, four times the marinated, juicy, succulent third degree burns and all to get to you, but are they tryna PAY to see you on that kinda level? Does your moms even go to your shows these days?

We'll let the tweets decide. They gotta be roasting you by now.

Yoga For Colored Folk

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 21:34:00 +0000

According to madeupstats.com, not many Keishas and Tamekas and Jalisas are down for the shalom namaste. Excuse me if that's incorrect, but like KeKe and Meka and LiLi, I don't know shit about yoga. I leave all that I am one with nature and fat trees need love too shit to Solange. I won't acknowledge her parental title on account of her Patra braids, but that's neither here nor there.

If you're like me and the only thing you know about yoga is what Wii Fit taught you, the clip below is just for you.

The Montana Fishburne can be interpreted to be a whole 'nother racehorse, but this blog is rated PG so nevermind all that. Notice how I slipped in like there was no six month absence? Get like me.

I Broke Twitter

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 09:35:00 +0000

That's right. I broke Twitter. Twitter is missing something nowadays, isn't it? You think it don't you? Welp!!!! It wasn't shit to begin with.

Before we kick things off understand, this is not a sign that I shall be returning to the tweets. OR IS IT!? This is not a sign that I miss the tweets. OR IS IT!? This is not the final goodbye. OR IS IT!? This is not, I repeat, not me telling you I'm coming back. OR IS--- NO IT'S NOT!

To acknowledge all myths and theories, there was no one reason or action or event or person that made me wanna quit Twitter. To be honest, it was all of you and everything. As a whole, the side of the tweets we live on is now a big ol' pile of shit. It got messy. It got very territorial. It got very stake-claimy. Everybody wants to be the very best like no one every was. Truth of the matter is we're just ordinary people. We don't know which way to ho. (Yes, ho). It got very judgmental. I'm one of those people. I judge the shit outta people knowing I don't want to be judged. When I attempted to pull back and tried to be non-judgy I noticed how judgy we, me included, all were. ~~Caution: The blogger you see here is a professional (SHIEEEET). Do not use the word "judgy" at home/in public, as it is not a real word.~~ Twitter turned into a whole bunch of things that I don't really recall since I'm not facing them everyday anymore.

You may wonder why am I writing this? I'm not saying I owe this to anybody, but I'ma tell ya like a pimp... ION'T OWE YALL SHIT! But the abrupt manner in which I packed up and chunked the deuce was kinda... Shit I don't know. Don't even make me lie. (If you find yourself thinking "This motherfucker is rambling!", I find myself replying "Ain't shit new". This is how I does.)

I just left because it felt right.

I wanted to leave at a time no one would notice right away. It was 2AM/3AM on a Thursday night. Y'all niggas were all somewhere getting pregnant. It was all good.

If you weren't paying attention like you claim you were, I had been at the point where I just didn't gibbapuck. Don't take that heart. You know I love you. A few of you. Very few. Almost none of you. You know this. You know I love you. I just stopped giving a fuck. I still don't. With the way things had gotten, I felt like it was time to hit the old dusty trail and head back to where I'd come from.

This is the part of the show where I acknowledge a few people and shit. Parents, your children should leave the room now. Princey, make Gordy leave the room.

----

Shug Avery. I never ever ever ever intended what went down between the two of us to happen. We have said what we said and that was that. If it coulda been squashed, it shoulda been squashed. It really should have. But that's crying over spilled Koolaid now, huh?

Drew Sidora. You fucked your career up. It was so promising. Here you are with the role many die for: A Wayans Bros movie. It basically set you up for greatness. You were THIS close to a Daytime Emmy at least and what you do? You play yourself. Figuratively but not really. That role on The Game. Deep sigh. NO ONE KNOWS YOU'RE A REAL PERSON! Up until the point you searched your name on Twitter and @replied whomever brought you up, they thought you were a fictitious character. But since you and the character version of yourself you played have the same name, everyone thinks you basically played yourself. And if you think about, you played yourself. You play yourself and you played yourself.

Zindzi. Why do they call you Ye?

Ricky. I had some Church's recently. The peppers came in a cup. Not a bag.

Select NT affiliates. :hat.

Sherri Shephead. 8. That's what it looks like. Get on that.

Kyle. I always wanted to quizbowl you on College Hill. It felt tacky, though, so I never attempted.

New York. I'll never live there. Fuck what Alicia said. "There's nothing you can't do." And I won't attempt. NYC just ain't my type of hype. AND I SAID IT!

Lunchables. :hat.

Jori with regular hair. :shoe

Swaggerjackery. If I ever used a bit of slang you created, used your style, jocked your steelo, or took somethin' you said and ran with it.... Thank you.

Favorites. If you favorited something I said and find yourself upset that I deleted the account and you can't access said favorite, tough titty. If you can't quote it off the top, asbestos, it wasn't so near and dear now was it?

---

I'm done... Gordy may return now, Princey. It wasn't all that brutal. I just wanted to point out how you run Gordy.

A lot of you wonder if I'm gonna come back under a new name. I don't plan on it. I left Twitter to get away from Twitter. Coming back would defeat the purpose. Not saying I don't lurk. I just don't wanna be in the mix for lack of better words. It's 4 in the fuckin' morning. I'm tired, Ms Rain. We can finish this shit later.

Management out.

On Sundays We Jig To Pony

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 14:01:00 +0000

You love her, don't you? Ain't she just the nipple on the titty? If her dancing don't tug at your heartstrings, then the shrine of photos in her mirror has to. It just has to!

If you do nothing else with your life, check out DANCING ALONE TO PONY. @kanYebreast did the Lord's work by linking me to it early this morning.

Random Rant

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Wed, 26 May 2010 19:56:00 +0000

Just an observation really...

Can we ponder on the fact that 50 Cent looks like... well, I think, Abra, Kadabra, and Alakazam. Drawing blanks?

No? Not really?

Still don't see it?

How bout now?

It's just me, right? He really doesn't look like a Pokemon, right?

A Bruh Moment

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:16:00 +0000

I didn't do my annual Mother's Day post for Solange. Before you new readers get all up in arms, it's not a post from "Julez" to Solo. It's a post from The Management aka Person Behind The Pimp thanking Solange for being an awesome from what we can see and not making us shut this site down, suing in the process.

I don't know why I didn't make the post. I said I was gonna do it and Mother's Day came and left and I'll be damned... No post. If you're Solange and if you're reading this... Sorry. I like your hair, though. If you're from the Creole Camp and you're reading this, Hottie blink. Why are you here? Are they paying you? I'm willing to trick for a few dollars myself...

But I digress.

The point of this post and why it has to do with Mother's Day is this... Quincy Jones, Al B Sure Nigga With The Hair All Wavy Junior, made a Global Grind post about Mother's Day and his ratchet ass lifegiver/attention whore mom. Being an attention whore himself, I'm sure they get along wonderfully and that's where the love continues because they have the same ambitions of being famous by association. That MUST be why they are so weird together. Because... This shit right here...

I chose to express my love and devotion to my Mother, not only by presenting her with gifts and verbal means of appreciation, but by sharing my LOVE for her with the WORLD; A KISS!

Mother son kisses are harmless. But at a certain age, you and your child have to stop making out in public.

First off, this was a big juicy looking kiss. Both them closed they eyes. I may be looking way too much into it, but this pic is not-- It's on some different color shit.

Say it with me: BRUH!

Dickriding Obama

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Mon, 03 May 2010 05:27:00 +0000

If you want the ringtone, the MP3 is right HERE. I do it cuz I love ya

Family Biz: I'm Rich, Bitch ! HONK HONK!

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 17:04:00 +0000

And I will live [richer dinna mug] until I die:

Matthew Knowles, the manager and father of the pop star Beyoncé, is not the kind of guy who needs a handout from Uncle Sam. His daughter and her husband, the rapper Jay-Z, are reportedly worth $265 million, his record company has sold 200 million albums, and his investments include an entire city block near downtown Houston. Even so, Knowles is in linefor a lucrative taxpayer-backed bailout. A federally-funded disaster relief program is set to purchase his home in Galveston, Texas, which was rendered nearly worthless by damage from Hurricane Ike, for something close to its original value: A cool $425,000.

Bruh. We done made it! Before you start talking shit, look at your wallet, now look back at me, now look at your wallet, now back at me. 400Gs sound good right about now? Thought so.

You can be rich all your life and not be shit and a half, but when Uncle Sam is throwing dollars at you like some kinda strip club bitch, you have made it! In the words of Yung Eli, we did it. Tee Tee passed on her cut of the bailout, because she got VVS cuff links and her bag match the color of her nails and she sick and filthy of being so damn loaded. This here is chump change to her. Mo' beef for us! I'm five and the most expensive thing I buy is the two pound bag of Twizzlers so I say, HERE! HERE! And Momma can finally pay the rent without having to pawn another wig Tee-Tee handed down to her, decreasing its value!

Of course, the first born gets the first cut so Kelly wins this time, but I'ma get my cut before Nixon gets his so BAM!

SOURCE

I Wanna Be One Less

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 03:19:00 +0000

You must reach the 2:10 mark. You CAN'T fast forward. You have to watch it all the way through to get the full effect of this video. Get past the spoken word. Get past the sticky bun hairpiece. Get past the Rihanna singing "Hero" at the talent show vocals. Get past the Master Splinter face. Get past the fact that she's a baby chile. JUST PLEASE watch it all the way through!

In Case You Care... Drake & Nicki Cover XXL

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 23:28:00 +0000

I don't know, but XXL has Drake looking like Obama found a way to procreate with Bruce Willis. The Black Sarah Jessica [self-proclaimed, I don't coast sign] and labelmate The Actor Formerly Known as Aubrey Graham cover May's XXL after being passed up for the Freshmen cover last year, according to STREET ANTHEM. And this shit...

NICKI MINAJ - MASSIVE ATTACK VIDEO

The end is nigh.

Why Does Ron Artest Cry For Mike?

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 23:37:00 +0000

...this may be why. You can hate, but you know I love it. I admire the way he was texting his juvie and handling his Newport. His skill set is on some District 9 shit. You jealous? His parents proud. Be mad all you won't. Matter fact, today in school ['cuz I'm all up in the kindergarten nowadays] some broad sitting a few seats away from me was coloring and a pack of Kools fell out her fanny pack. The teacher wanted to scold her and shit talmbout the dangers of smoking. I told her "Don't save her. She don't wanna be saved. Let that guh smo'!"

She let me bum a square by the slide at recess. She ugly, though, so I ain't finna holla.

Grade A Fuckery

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 05:09:00 +0000

Props to @LADYW87. No words are needs.

Isis, The Child Fucker, Strikes Again

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 21:34:00 +0000

Her voice grinds my gears. By the looks of it, I'm positive somebody already hit her in the pussy with a hot oven rack. Explain her voice. I'd like to start off by saying no shit Young Money is broke. Who has done something besides Wayne? And Drake MAY have DeGrassi money but who was really making dollars over there? I mean he was still living in the basement at his mom's moms or whatever. Besides, Jori, Maui and nem been called that whole "Young Money's roster all sleep in the same bed" thing so...

But I esoterically digress. My real point is, if they so broke then why you fuck all of them? After fucking the first two brokies, clearly the first thing she thought was I gotta get some mo' of this famous broke dick. This apartment is a goldmine of famous broke dick that I must have! MUST!

Where are her eyes? Why she bragging about being paid after fucking Weezy? She bragging like she just invented prostitution.

About Lil' Twist:

The Carter Documentary released last year. I have it on my iPod. Yes, I watched. It was interesting. I'm sure I saw Lil' Twist in that joint. Weezy and co were telling some sort of dirty jokes to each other and Lil' Twist laughed at it. Surprised that Lil' Twist's young ass understood the joke Wayne asked how old was he. I'm POSITIVE I heard 15. I will rewatch it soon to confirm. I don't know when this was filmed, but it took place around the recording of The Carter III which dropped in '08. Now let's do some math. If he was 15 then and if two years have passed, he's 17 now depending on his birthday. So he's at least 16. If so, she fucked a 16-17 year old which may not be TOTALLY immoral but... I've argued this point already. Why beat a dead horse?

She is sad. Education is vital. If you look up to her, applaud her, wanna fuck her, etc... Don't cross the street. Go down the block.

: )

Stop Acting Like Beyoncé Stole Your Man And Your Biscuit

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 17:05:00 +0000

There's been alotta tough talk and shade thrown about this Window Seat video. I didn't see Beyonce or Lady Gaga in this video not nahn second of it. Why y'all keep bringing they name up then? I swear I've seen the phrases "Window Seat" + "Beyonce" + "Gaga" in the same sentences since this shit dropped. Bee. Aye. Dee. You. That's how you spell Badu. Obviously y'all thought it was spelled B-E-Y-O-N-C-E-ampersand-L-A-D-Y-SPACEBAR-G-A-G-A, 'cause all I see in this tower of greed is Beyonce & Gaga and Window Seat this and that.

These instances where this has happened are all comparisons where people down the hype around the Telephone video in favor of any another video. Not saying Telephone was the Holy Grail. Not knocking Erykah's vid at all. It would be fair though since all y'all do is knock the shit I happen to favor and I'm not even big on Gaga. I don't know shit 'bout her or her music, so miss me with that argument.

Y'all wanna say shit like "Window Seat puts "insert Beyonce, Lady Gaga or a Beyonce & Lady Gaga video here" to shame." Why? I don't know. I feel like it's just bias, because Erykah is so real. Erykah keep it funky. Erykah is not a bad influence on today's youth. Erykah is a sister! Erykah ain't fake.

How y'all felt when you found out Bag Lady's dreads were just a wig?

Pick up your face. I wanna see the expression on it for this next segment. I just wanna point out a hypothetical outrage surrounding this Window Seat video if it were by Beyonce so here goes nothing.

If Beyonce Would Have Done the "Window Seat" video.

1. "Inspired by Matt & Kim"

"Kim must be Mathew's next baby mama."

"Kim is Kelly's momma, The Real Housewife of Hadley. "

2. Pulling up in the classic car.

"She can't even afford some new shit."

"She need to give Jay-Z his car back. Broke bitch."

"I'm surprised the bitch can park."

"Why she ain't got no rims? Bitch know she can afford some rims."

3. "A Story by Beyonce Knowles"

"Why her last name ain't Carter? Fake ass marriage."

"She don't acknowledge her marriage with Jay-Z because she don't love him. Sad. Poor Jigga."

"Story? Who is this bitch? Mother Goose!?"

4. Stray observations from the 35 second mark until.

"Why this bitch got on a trenchcoat? Winter over, ho?"

"She look like a hobo."

"Where her wig at? She need to keep that shit on at all times."

"Don't leave that jacket there. Solange need those hand me downs."

"She done took her shoes off and threw 'em. What if she woulda hit that white lady in red?! Irresponsible bitch!"

5. Stray observations from the 2 minute mark until.

"She look terrible without makeup. She is influencing the young girls to walk around looking like that!?"

"She took her damn shirt off in front of the kids!? WHORE!"

"Tina didn't raise her right."

"Took her pants off. Somebody go pick up her butt pads!"

6. Stray observations from the 4:30 mark until.

"This bitch is streaking! She should be arrested!

"Ha! Somebody shot her ass!"

"Keri Hilson did it!"

"She reading this script sounding like a 3 year old."

"She cannot act. She obviously isn't dead."

"You see how she fell? So fake."

"YOU TUSCHED MY CHILE!?!"

"There wasn't a single airplane in this. Why it's called Window seat?"

"There go the wig. I knew there was a wig coming. Superfreak!"

"None of this made sense. Just like her."

"Dumb ass video. Dumb ass Beyonce. Dumb ass."

--

--

--

Music snobs: Erykah is asking for a window seat, but there aren't any passenger on Camel Shepherd's plane.

Post title brought to you by @YOUNGSINICK

Weekend Update

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 14:38:00 +0000

The devil has been busy all week long. This by no means top what's happened so far, but.... Just click it. Just do it. I hate you @BELLABOSS for alla this. Chama lives.

Have A Seat On The Davenport & Let Me Tell You A Stirr.

noreply@blogger.com (The Management) — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 23:56:00 +0000

...or you can sit Indian style on the rug.

Once upon a time there was a scoundrel named Freshicca Sarah Parker. She was a scoundrel in many ways. Not only did she keep it real, like the young folks say, and crunk, like the niggas say, not only that... but she was funny. She sat at the cool kids table and most of the young girls and gays looked up to her. The male bloggers who posted about how they wanted they dick sucked by whimmints liked her, too, but they respected her because she could jones on them to teras.

She once told a funny story. Its over there on the bookshelf:

http://www.crunktastical.net/2007/06/04/cupcakin-with-beyonce/

There was this other scoundrel.... The Creator Behind Beyonceitis, who was a scoundrel with the vigor. He wasn't in with the crowds. He didn't parking lot pimp with the rest of them (Twitter). He didn't put his self out there like some hoes (I won't be messy). But he kept it real, like the young folks say. He would tell us about Beyonce and how we should respect her and abide by her rules until further notice. Beyonceitis brought the funny, the truth, and was the predecessor to EVERY FUCKING BODY and they momma on the Internet tryna be funny. Some of y'all, me at times, are just regurgitating shit he's said. When he said it, it was funny. When you say it, I pray for your social life.

He told a story that you may find funny too. It's over there on my desk. I was just reading it the other night:

http://wigcrypt.blogspot.com/2008/04/frequently-asked-questions-about.html

I don't know whether Fresh or Beyonceitis called Daniel "Julez" Smith II "Lil' Creole Pimp" first, during a time where he was known only as Baby Daniel. I don't know. I don't remember. I wasn't keeping count. I didn't know it'd be so important three to four years later. My bad! All I know is it was funny as fuck!

These two posts I linked you to exhibit some type of fuckery involving Baby Daniel being a hard up badass who sells drugs [vitamins] and owns a tazer. That pwns all that shit you knew before you read humor blogs. Yes, pwns. A month before that Beyonceitis post I linked you to, I started The Lil' Creole Pimp Chronicles.

It's a quick story that I know by heart, so I'll just tell it to you right quick:

http://creolepimp.blogspot.com/2008/03/momma-just-stop.html

It was a parody site in the same vein as Fake Janice Combs. I see you are already getting up to go see who the hell she is. Her story is right here:

http://fakejanicecombs.com/2006/09/18/i-guess-this-boy-thinks-ima-babysit-all-these-children/

You know how I say (tweet) Tee-Tee. You ever go "who the hell?" That's Beyonce. Uncle Joe? Jay-Z. Cousin Angie... if you didn't understand who Cousin Angie was please please please, I beg of you, unfollow me. Stupid is contagious in the springtime. And of course, Solange is "my mammy".

._. I'm not enthused either.

You get the picture. Now, here's what happened next. Solange found out I was using her babychile as a base for a fake, fictional, totally joking dude type thing but it didn't resonate well on the homefront. Solange called Beyonce, Michelle, and Angie and they brought that Chevy to a real slow creep but left Kizzy ass at home because she can't do shit right. Basically, at certain times Blogger wouldn't let me post. My Creole Pimp Gmail account would sometimes be suspended! My Photobucket account... unscathed.#kanyeshrug.

I slowly chilled out with the whole running gag of "I'm Solange's bratty, cussaholic, son and I hate that bitch". I didn't stop completely but... After reading one of her Okay Player posts about liking "some blogs OTHERS NOT SO MUCH" and seeing her act up on the news about Jay & Bey, I decided I didn't wanna fuck with her. I have this debilitating fear that she's gonna catch me in the Wal-Mart produce aisle, picking some greens for my momma and turn her buggy over on my ass. Matter fact, when I see a small, beige curly haired boy in Wal-Mart, I get scared. My 10 year old cousin's best friend looks JUST. LIKE. BABY. DANIEL. I think it's him. I'm scared of him. He HAS to be a sleeper agent.

But I digress.

So now you probably understand why Solange blocked me on Twitter. Or why Beyonce wrote Ring The Alarm. Or why Chris Brown hit Rih... no. No. Irrelevant.

Questions?

Deuces Motherfucker!

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:23:00 +0000

One YAASS! Two YAAASS! Gosselin YAASSS! Duggar YAASS! The healthcare bill done passed and now we can rejoice. Not only can you afford that new hip to continue your #hoshit escapades, but you can get rid of Rush Limbaugh -FINALLY!! Before you go tap dancing in public get a load of this:

Recently, a number of interesting things happened. First, Rush Limbaugh said on his radio show that if the Healthcare Reform Bill passed, he would go to Costa Rica. Second, the Healthcare Reform Bill passed. As you can imagine, this has made a number of people very excited. We are among that number. We want to make sure that Rush is able to make good on his promise, and so we've made this website.

If you got a PayPal account and a dollar then you, too, can help rid the States of hate. Just one dollar a day will feed a hungry child in Africa. Ten will go towards relief in Haiti, Chili, and other places Pat Robertson don't fuck with. Donate to them FIRST then just ONE easy payment of one dollar will get Rush Limbaugh the fuck outta here.

I came across this site and cried. I cried like Jesus. I didn't cry when Obama was declared President-elect because God told me a change was gon' come. I knowed this. But we can finally get rid of Rush which is one less Republican and that makes me cry like everybody at the end of Precious. I'm just so fucking happy.

VISIT A TICKET FOR RUSH TODAY.

You think I'm playing? HURRY UP AND BYE!

Sham Fucking Wow

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 16:50:00 +0000

1. How does your teen owe you thousands of dollar?
2. ...hottie blink... ...hottie blink...
3. Peep how the newscaster said "real court" throwing shade to TV court.
4. Still wanna have kids?

Full Clip: Burn Down Hot Topic

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:35:00 +0000

Ellen DeBieber, you wish.

South Park took a stab at debunking the whole vampire, Twilight BS and mixed it with some gothic shit [Google it] and it was quiet amusing. But not nowhere near the live action rendition. Watch it all the way through. There's Affirmative Action in action during the dance break. Yes, even gothic kids have dance breaks. Pussycat Dolls, eat your hearts out.

The Black Marge Simpson

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 21:51:00 +0000

...wouldn't even start to describe this shit right here.

The homie, who shall remain nameless because I fear she will be shanked by one of these project chicks in the pic, sent me this after she returned from her night of fun and festivities at the Plies concert. My granny was there because according to the people behind Beyonceitis, Plies is my supposed to be step grandaddy. Granny nasty, but I digress. More after the jump.

The pic below is supposed to be a goon mask, a Plies trademark since, y'know, all male nurses wear goon masks during clinic duty.

Jerry's Final Thought: Now I know why those horses in The Ring was going stupid. Dumb dumb.

The Secret Life of Bees

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 18:49:00 +0000

For a minute, I thought I was watching one of them Showtime movies that's all deep and low budget. Why hasn't Kola penned the novel "Nigger Stock" yet? I read the manuscript. It was great. Felt like Dylan spit his hot fyuh all across the pages. Digression.

If you don't know the story of Kola Boof, grab some snacks, click play, and seethe.

The World Is Not Safe

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 21:13:00 +0000

...as long as no one's stopping villains such as 5Ton4Head. I haven't really been the same to her since "it" happened. Mainly, because she's the homie at the Creole HQs now with her and my Granny trading Pokemon cards, hair recipes and disses like old chums. But this... THIS? This super villain costume isn't to be ignored. We shall not sit idly by. Where's Spider-Man?!

Via NYGMAG.

Al B Sure Niggas vs Al B Sure Niggas

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 19:29:00 +0000

Michael Jackson is a prophet and I respect him entirely, but he's gone to the greater good. That's sad and all but now not nahn Jackson is in my way of taking over the world. Especially since Jermaine's Oil of Olay seed are busy taking each other out. Jafaar snuck up on Jermastey from the blind side like Cheaters! And cussed! Simpletons

Cut the check via RHYMES WITH SNITCH.

Yung Berg Denies All That Pistol Whipping

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:42:00 +0000

Yung Berg got the balls, the nerve, the motherfucking audacity of hope to deny being pistol whipped at a house party the other day. TMZ is alot of things. They're paparazzi hounds. They're a 30 minute time killer on The CW if you're bored. But they're kinda reputable, surprisingly. I don't believe you, Christian. You need more people. Deny all you want to. I'm still wearing yo' chain to school on Monday.

In Case You Care...

noreply@blogger.com (Lil' Creole Pimp) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:19:00 +0000

Winter Olympic teams call BET's bluff as they film their own tributes to Michael Jackson. Rhythm notwithstanding, but I'd rather sit through this than 2009's Coon Fest.