Least shocking thing ever: USDA organic labeling scheme is a failure. [MSNBC]

Stodgy Brit slags bacon. [Times of London (HT Jake Dupont)]

Bittman and Jose Andres blather about sustainability for an hour. [Slow Food LA]

Hindu extremists toss pig on mosque construction site in India. Riots ensue. Can retaliatory cow tossing be far off? [CNN]

Kitchen Confidential clone doesn’t quite cut it. [The Onion]

During her illness, my mom was drawn to alternative cures. Polystyrene, chemicals, poisons in the environment — these were the responsible forces. Not age nor race nor luck of the draw. Some malicious third party had brought sickness upon her.

She visited once and picked cautiously at the meal I served. I learned she only ate organic. The additives, the pesticides! These had infected our civilization, laid waste to our populace. Someone on TV had said so.

The next time I was more selective in my preparation. Her visits to Connecticut were a rare thing; maybe a year had passed but she had lost ground. I served spaghetti with homemade sauce.

Look Mom, I said as I set the plate before her. Eat up! The pasta, the sauce — the entire meal is organic.

“Pfft,” she said. “Fat lot of good that did me.”

Next she took a vegetarian cooking class. Meat was the culprit! The additives, the hormones! These had provoked her cells to rebel, gave a reason to the mindless wave chewing through her body, reducing her organs and bones to Swiss cheese.

They made split-pea soup in class. “This is good,” she said to the instructor, “But you know what would make this even better?”

No. What?

“Ham,” she said.

Sainbury’s spokeswoman Lucy Maclennan said: “We are delighted to have played a part in winning the wonky veg war against these bonkers EU regulations.”

Tesco spokesman Adam Fisher said: “It’s not before time. We welcome this move.”

And last night it was predicted the change could see some prices fall by 40 PER CENT.

More here. We here at Crispy let you know about plans to lift the ban last June.

In  Slate, Mike Steinberger details how McDonald’s has captured the French wallet.  It’s a fun, informative read, an excellent lesson in marketing and good leadership, and reminds me of one of my favorite movies, Billy Wilder’s ever wonderful One, Two, Three!

Crispy Supporter and person of Frenchness Veronique de Rugy shares her thoughts here.

Either way, it does mean I could choose one and only one candy song for this last Friday in June. Boldly ignoring the obvious, I give you the second most obvious–a lyric of joy from the time before excise taxes when candy was fun and made you so happy that your hair curled.

On the Good Ship Lollipop

The uber fan tailgate was the one great thing that made the trek worthwhile versus watching the game on my HDTV. And The Danny, the Darth Vader of Redskins fans, has killed that.

Under new rules intended to ease the flow of parking, the Skins have outlawed tailgates that take more than one parking space and will relegate those loyal fans to the outermost lots. From the Wa Post:

The Washington Redskins will restrict large tailgate parties in the FedEx Field parking lots this season, limiting tailgates using more than one parking space to “the back” of parking lots, the team said in a statement. The team also said that drivers of all vehicles will be directed to specific areas of the lots instead of being allowed to choose their own.
“The most significant new procedure will have parking attendants directing fans who wish to tailgate in more than one space to the back of lots, where they will be allowed to occupy two spaces until required for additional vehicles,” the team said. “Fans who wish to only park, or tailgate within their single parking spot, will be directed to the front of lots, filling the lot from front to back.”

In the past, early-entering fans were greeted by something of a free-for-all in the empty lots, leaving a chaotic checkerboard pattern as fans gradually staked out spots and erected tents, grills and buffet lines. The parking lots have traditionally opened four hours before kickoff, but hundreds of fans lined up outside the gates before dawn for the chance to stake out prime spots, with several large tailgates appearing each week in the rows closest to the stadium.

The system also led to fans spreading out over multiple spaces early in the morning, tying up spaces and contributing to gridlock when later-arriving cars pulled in. But to many fans, the system helped foster a community atmosphere, with tailgates springing up all over the massive expanse of asphalt, mapped out by an honor-system geography under which the same families would grab the same spots nearly every week.

What the Wa Post omits is that those folks who took the primo spots to tailgate are the most elite long-term season ticket holders also known as the most loyal fans. To deny them this tradition does not seem to be a smart business move, but The Danny is not very smart about business save the Internet bubble sale of his marketing company which, unfortunately, gave him enough money to buy the Redskins. His ventures since have been failures. Six Flags is not doing too well and neither are the Redskins.

My great memories of the now-outlawed tailgates feature my friend Brooke’s family, who have been season ticket holders for a long time. They would line up a couple of SUV’s and grills and also deep-fried a turkey. If Danny wants to outlaw this, I want to outlaw Danny.

http://realredskinsfans.blogspot.com/

As a person who watches all of the ads but still has no interest in sweets I am unconvinced and think this is really about his own penchant for sweets that he cannot control. So regulate and outlaw them! Use government force to control Kessler’s own weaknesses!

As head of the Food and Drug Administration, Dr. David A. Kessler served two presidents and battled Congress and Big Tobacco. But the Harvard-educated pediatrician discovered he was helpless against the forces of a chocolate chip cookie.

In an experiment of one, Dr. Kessler tested his willpower by buying two gooey chocolate chip cookies that he didn’t plan to eat. At home, he found himself staring at the cookies, and even distracted by memories of the chocolate chunks and doughy peaks as he left the room. He left the house, and the cookies remained uneaten. Feeling triumphant, he stopped for coffee, saw cookies on the counter and gobbled one down.

“Why does that chocolate chip cookie have such power over me?” Dr. Kessler asked in an interview. “Is it the cookie, the representation of the cookie in my brain? I spent seven years trying to figure out the answer.”

I don’t know why the cookie makes Kessler crazy but please don’t try to regulate everyone else’s cookie experience based on your own cookie dysfunction, Mr Kessler.