It shows her story from start to finish. Its an extremely powerful and touching story and is a must for anybody and everybody to watch.

So please take a look:

Alcohol does have an effect on my body and that can make me a little tense and apprehensive. I probably shouldn’t drink alcohol but there are so many things my Crohn’s Disease stops me from enjoying, so alcohol, even with its evils, can offer some light relief. Cream buns have a similar effect but they do offer a small amount of yummy escapism!

I try and take as many useful items as I can carry. Winter is much easier for doing this than summer, as the cooler weather means more clothing, especially big jackets with plenty of pockets. The idea is to be as prepared as possible for whatever troubles you may find yourself in, especially when going out to the pub. Generally drunk men (not sure what ladies toilets are like) do not have the greatest toilet etiquette.

I make sure I have a decent length of toilet tissue, Imodium and painkillers (obviously the pills shouldn’t be taken if you’re drinking). If I have the space available in my jacket I’ll try and take some toilet wipes to clean the seat.  These can also be used to clean around the base of the loo to help avoid any mess on your jeans (again, men’s drunken toilet etiquette isn’t great).

The last time I went to my local pub, my preparations were no different. I’m careful not to eat anything “dangerous” before the outing, I take enough supplies to cover me if things turn bad. I should be able to get home in one piece with as much dignity as possible. On this particular night I was feeling pretty good and it turned out to be one of my friends that had a bowel problem. He isn’t diagnosed with a specific problem but does have some gut issues. The doctors have told him its stress related. He gets really bad cramps and bloating as well as urgent needs for the toilet. (Sounds familiar)

We ordered our first round of drinks and this one particular friend disappeared off to the toilet. He wasn’t seen again for at least 15 minutes. As a Crohnie I recognise this as a sign of a toilet problem. He is a strong, stubborn kind of guy so, just like most of us, he puts a smile on and pretends there are no problems.

When he returned I asked him if he was ok. He obviously said he was, but I knew different, so I kept pushing. Eventually he said he was having a bit of a “dicky” tummy. So I offered him my length of toilet roll and some Imodium. He happily took the pills from me and felt reassured that if he had any further problems, I have the supplies at hand to help. I hoped he also understood that I’m not judgemental and was there for a strong shoulder of support.

I felt very useful. I felt as though I had helped a friend and offered support. I offered support when most would have accepted that he was ok. I’m sure, not that we would ever talk about it, being men, that it made him feel more confident. As a result, it meant he stayed out and didn’t have to make his excuses and head home. We both boogied until the early hours without further problem.

However; I obviously only carry enough supplies to cover my own misfortunes. My supplies are to get me under control, remaining calm and to help me get home. I had given up my supplies pretty early on in the night. Was this brave or stupid? At the time I never even considered what I would do if I had a problem.  I was too concerned with helping a mate.

Shortly after my kind gesture the alcohol had worked its way into my system. I started to get anxious about my bowels. I could feel my gut getting restless and this put me on edge. All kinds of awful things popped into my head about the embarrassing moments that could happen. I contemplated going home. I slowed my drinking, cut down on my conversation and tried to focus, relax and reassure myself that everything would be ok. Had I sacrificed my own security to aid a mate?

Luckily I gained control of my body and started to feel comfortable. I relaxed into my night and for the first time in a long time, had a fun night and pushed my ailments to the back of my mind. I’ve not needed my emergency supplies for quite some time and I managed to convince myself that for the next few hours, I probably would be ok. If it all went wrong, I’m sure I could deal with it.

The moral of the story….. Just because you are ill everyday doesn’t mean other people aren’t allowed to be sick. Use your experience to help them in whatever problems they find themselves in. Also, make sure you are prepared with essentials for yourself, with some spares just in case!

Ben x

Crohn’s Update

Monthly B12 injections arte fantastic. I still get tired and lethargic but I find my mind is a lot less cloudy. I don’t think I am fully restored to before, but it is close enough to be happy. I’m still having a few memory issues. I’m a bit like a goldfish, much to the annoyance of the wife.

I’m still having regular loose bowels and many trips to the loo but the cramps and discomforts have certainly died down.

If you get chance, come over to Rutland Water on the 6^th May for a Crohn’s and Colitis UK Leics & Rutland Group walk. Everyone is welcome

I recently left one job for another. I could no longer stick my old job. It had become stressful. Not just because of the work load but because of the atmosphere. It wasn’t a particularly happy place to work. I don’t think in the year and a half of working there I woke up wanting to go to work. I guess I never really want to go to work as I have far too many other interesting things I’d rather be doing! It would be nice for it to be occasionally bearable.

I felt work was having an effect on my health. I was more tired than usual and had begun to feel more “Crohnsie”. I was in a lucky position with an old employer offering me a previous job back. So I didn’t have to go through all of the stress and hassle of searching for a new job and enduring interviews.

One thing this old place taught me was that fresh cream causes me serious problems in the bowel area. Each time I eat a cream bun, I find myself spending the afternoon regretting my decision and vowing never to eat another damned cream bun again. This became a problem when it was people’s birthdays. They would bring in cream buns. Don’t get me wrong, I love people bringing in yummy food to share. I am far too polite to try and keep pointing out that I’d rather not have a creamed cake. Nobody ever asked if everyone was happy with cream cakes (It doesn’t help that I love cream cakes!) This led to a lot of afternoons running from my desk to the loo. It was never worth the pain and torture but I never learn and I soon forget the torment these buns cause.

On your last day, as well as Birthdays, you were expected to bring cakes in. A kind of celebration of leaving (escaping) I suppose. For a change I had pre planned this food event. I had decided not to abuse myself with creamed buns (ooh err!) and decided on a selection of party food instead; savoury and sweet. So in the weekly food shop I bought a selection of party foods and some Crohnie safe sponge cakes. I thought this would be a much safer option and as it turned out, a much cheaper option.

Now, I don’t know if the stress of leaving or the emotion of leaving (Sounds sad but I always feel a little emotional when leaving a place of work as I’m pretty unlikely to see these people again) or something I ate or maybe a combination of all these factors and more but that last afternoon in the office was spent mostly on the toilet.

This was not how I wanted to be remembered. I did not want to be the guy that spent most of his working day in the toilet. I had intended to finish off the project I was working on and then wander around the office and factory saying my goodbyes to people. I thought the last hour would be relaxed. I thought I would be shaking people’s hands and saying empty promises of “going for a drink sometime”.  Not a cat’s chance. Mr Crohn’s stepped in to show me who was boss.

So each time a colleague came to my desk to say goodbye and have a quick chat I would not be able to listen to a lovely word they had to say. All I could think about was getting to the loo without having an accident. I tried to be polite and not cut people off from what they were saying and I didn’t want to risk being that man who pooped himself at his desk. I had to run from my desk so many times, shouting my apologies backward to the poor person left standing at my desk, mid sentence.

I don’t think I got to say good bye to half the workforce due to being trapped on the toilet. It made me feel pretty guilty. I thought it would look like I was hiding from them; like I didn’t want to go through the hassle of talking to them. This was not the case. I would rather have been stuck in conversation with anyone of them rather than being stuck, teary eyed and sore on the toilet. Not a great way to end a part of your working life.

The end of the day came and went and in true Crohnie style. My last shift ended sitting on the toilet. I was lucky to have a new Angry Birds on my phone. I completed so many levels that day!

Keep well

Ben x

Crohn’s Update

It’s been a bit up and down recently. Some days are almost perfect then the next will be spent running back and forth to the loo. I don’t get as many painful cramps these days so that is a plus point. I still believe that the Mercaptopurine is really helping. It is certainly no cure but it has helped level off my symptoms. I try not to get stressed or worried about things as this can cause tummy upset (and I also try and avoid cream cakes!).

I’m still on Vitamin D. Not sure if I still require it as the NHS will not do a blood test to see for another 6 months due to the cost of them. We never got to the bottom of why my Vit D was low.

B12 injections were started and I saw a big improvement in concentration for the first few weeks. My memory can still be utter pants so maybe there is some long term damage (or maybe my brain is old and tired). My consultant has recommended that I have the injections once a month rather than every 3 months.  So we shall see how this affects me soon.