Latest articles from Crooks and Liars

Was Laura Petrie A Pool Shark?

John Amato — Wed, 17 Jun 2026 03:00:01 +0000

I was stumped today on what to post for an open thread, and I saw this.

In the 1962 episode, "Hustling the Hustler," during the pool scene, they were supposed to cut away and let a pool shark hit the shot after she just hit the balls, but miraculously, MTG sank all three balls, to the surprise of both stars.

They kept rolling the film, and the reactions were genuine.

Open thread.

UPDATE: There are primaries tonight. Leave your thoughts here. The California race to see who will replace Eric Swalwell in CA-14 is tonight, but it will take more time to count the votes. As always.

Gina Loudon: We 'Need More Masculine Toxicity'

John Amato — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 22:55:15 +0000

Real America's Voice "American Sunrise" program told America they need to have more fathers, more masculine toxicity, and down with feminism because "The View" destroyed the family unit.

Not surprisingly, Gina Loudon and her wingnut "manospheric" panel attacked all beliefs to the left of Christian nationalism and theocracy, including African American single moms.

Loudon rejoiced in the fact that 83% of the country supports birth control. She seems to believe that's a low number.

I'm not even identifying the rest of her witless panel members. Freedom of choice has eluded them all.

I'm not taking anything away from single moms who work their tails off to get things done, but you need more fathers in America.

You need more masculine toxicity. You know, it was a toxic masculinity when they ran up the Omaha beaches to take back France.

I don't think anybody complained about it then.

You see, it's so silly.

What the world needs is more real men, real men.

Amen, and if I can just punctuate, because Steve, you've said it on this show before, but if you look at just the raw data, forget our conservative, liberal opinions of anything.

You just look at the data.

The middle class and upper middle class black families proliferated during the 50s and 60s, and it is feminism.

It is the democratization of our inner cities, electing Democrats that changed all that.

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N. Dakota Senator Just Fine With Trump Family Crypto Grift

Heather — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 21:29:07 +0000

Trump and his family are robbing us blind, and Sen. Kevin Cramer is perfectly content just to turn a blind eye. During a segment on this Tuesday's Morning with Maria on Fox Business Network, Kramer was asked about the Digital Asset Market Clarity Act, which is currently stalled in the Senate, and Cramer spewed this lame nonsense when talking about the Democrats' demands for some ethics language, and banning the Trumps from their current crypto scam.

BARTIROMO: I mean, look, we're talking about the rewards issue, but that's not the only issue holding this up, right? Democrats want to ban government employees, including the president and his family, from crypto endeavors. The president's not going to back that. We know that. Law enforcement interests are raising objections to some provisions related to money laundering as well.

CRAMER: Right. Yeah, that's true, and we want to take care of the money laundering piece of it. I think we've done a pretty good job of it. Maybe we have to tighten things up a little bit more with regard to the ethics piece of it.
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Trump Casually Dismisses Iran's Enriched Material After All The Buildup

John Amato — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 20:47:42 +0000

During a presser with the media at the G7 summit in Evian-les-Bains, France, Trump claimed that after bombing an Iranian mountain, it may not be worth finding the leftover enriched uranium "because it's not really valuable."

Enriched uranium is the main ingredient to produce a nuclear weapon, and there is no such thing as worthless enriched uranium.

Trump attacked Iran over enriched uranium, for fuck's sake.

Trump keeps using an analogy called "nuclear dust" after he bombs what they claim is a nuclear facility, but that is a ridiculous comparison.

"Nuclear dust" is fallout from a nuclear explosion or radioactive material after a nuclear disaster. Not whatever this moronic president pretends it is.

"My second term, we sent in the B-2 bombers, and we terminated their – I call it the nuclear dust – their enriched material, right?" Trump said. "And totally effectively."

Huh?

TRUMP: So the Atomic Energy just reported that it was one of the most devastating bombings that they've ever seen.

The whole mountain collapsed on top of it.

And frankly, to go get it – we're going to go get it – but to go get it is a big deal because they say only China and us have the equipment where you can even get – the whole mountain has collapsed on top.

We have cameras on it.

You could make the case why you're even bothering, because it's not really valuable.
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Thanks, Obama!! Trump's 'American Flag Blue' Reflecting Pool Is Green

Conover Kennard — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 19:39:51 +0000

Here's the situation: Trump vowed to paint the Reflecting Pool "American flag blue" and spent $14 million on a renovation. Just a day after the basin was refilled, workers were already seen cleaning out clumps of algae, and by Friday, the algae was back.

The administration's response is chef's kiss (there's always a chef's kiss during this administration): Interior Department spokesperson Katie Martin told CNN the algae was due to "residual algae" from supply lines dormant during construction, adding: "President Donald J. Trump is an expert builder who has fixed the Reflecting Pool for good unlike the failed and extremely costly attempt by Obama and Biden."

Thanks, Obama!

“Versus previous administrations, the National Park Service is actually maintaining the beautifully completed Reflecting Pool,” a spokesperson for the Department of the Interior told the New York Post.

“The nanobubbler technology has successfully destroyed the algae bloom that has plagued every pool reopening since 1922, most infamously, the Obama pool reopening that resulted in massive algae clumps taking over the pool’s surface,” the spokesperson added.

The Receipts Are In: Trump Lied About His Ballroom

Conover Kennard — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 19:06:42 +0000

Five months after bulldozing the White House East Wing, Trump stood in the Oval Office and told reporters the replacement ballroom and bunker project would run no more than $400 million — every penny of it covered by private donors. "This is taxpayer-free. We have no taxpayer putting up 10 cents," he said on March 31. But that was bullshit. You're shocked, I know.

But his own contractor had already done the math. A detailed cost summary prepared for the White House more than three weeks before Trump's comments put the real price tag at $600 million — with more than half of that coming from taxpayers, according to documents obtained by The Washington Post. Federal payments to contractor Clark Construction had already been flowing for weeks by the time Trump made those claims, with more than a dozen approved invoices totaling tens of millions in public funds.

This wasn't a one-time slip. Since announcing the East Wing project last July, Trump has consistently insisted the cost wouldn't exceed $400 million and that a private nonprofit would foot the entire bill. Internal project summaries tell a different story — one in which taxpayer dollars were baked into the budget from the very beginning, at levels far beyond what the administration has ever admitted publicly or in court.

Trump 'Furious' Over Possible Leak Of Epstein Situation Room Tapes

Conover Kennard — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 18:23:38 +0000

Trump aides are freaking out that recordings of Situation Room meetings about the Epstein files made their way to New York Times reporters. Rep. Ro Khanna joined Chris Hayes to discuss the Axios report, which claims that Donald Trump "is furious about the blow-by-blow accounts."

Senior White House officials suspect that Times reporters Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan got their hands on audio recordings from Situation Room meetings for their upcoming book, Regime Change — a potential breach that has the administration rattled, according to Axios.

Recording devices are strictly prohibited in the Sit Room, making this, if true, an extraordinary security violation.

"We're afraid some of our most sensitive conversations were being recorded," one administration source said. "And we have no idea which ones."

The suspicion stems from the almost verbatim dialogue that appeared in early excerpts covering the Iran war and the Epstein files, published ahead of the book's June 23 release. The authors drew on more than 1,000 interviews for the project, which chronicles Trump's second term.

Pure Thuggery: Donald Sics DOJ On Governor Gavin Newsom

Karoli Kuns — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 17:32:03 +0000

We all know Todd Blanche is using his sycophancy to lure Republican senators into confirming him for Attorney General. Still, what he's doing now is so obvious, so dumb, and so thuggish it's both disgusting and utterly predictable.

The New York Times reported Monday that the DOJ has contacted Newsom's friends and family members as they look for a reason to prosecute him for any thing they can find.

Worse yet, they're taking aim at California's First Lady, Jennifer Siebel Newsom. They are apparently poking into her finances and taxes because getting at her is the easiest way to get at him without appearing to play political games. Or so they think. It's clear to anyone watching that it's not gamesmanship, it's pure thuggery. Nice wife you've got there, Gavin. Be a shame if anything happened to her.

In the video at the top, Carol Leonnig confirms that the goal is to "COME UP with a case against Newsom" not only because Newsom and his press office mean-tweet the Trump administration, but also because Newsom is almost certainly a 2028 contender.

'I Caution Lindsey': JD Vance Goes After Sen. Graham By Name On Live TV

David Edwards — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 15:56:38 +0000

Vice President JD Vance took a shot at one of President Donald Trump's closest allies on live television Monday.

Vance called out Sen. Lindsey Graham, a South Carolina Republican and Trump's regular golfing partner, by name on ABC's Good Morning America — telling him to stop doubting the newly signed U.S.-Iran deal.

"'I am somewhat concerned that Iran's view of the agreement seems different than what the American negotiating team is claiming,'" host George Stephanopoulos said, reading from Graham's post on X. "Is that true?"

"No, George. It's not true," Vance shot back. "And I'd caution Lindsey Graham and anybody else not to believe the hardliner propaganda in Iran, but to believe what's actually in the agreement."

Vance said the full text of the deal would be released this week and pushed back hard on Iranian claims that sanctions relief would flow immediately upon signing.

"Iran doesn't get a dime of money unless they perform their obligations," he said. "Not a single dollar of American money will go to Iran."

He added that significant sanctions relief was on the table — but only if Tehran made long-term commitments to abandon its nuclear weapons program and stop funding terrorism across the Middle East.

Fox Announces They're Buying Roku. Isn't That Swell?

Susie Madrak — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 14:59:27 +0000

Media giant Fox Corp. on Monday announced a deal to buy streaming and smart-TV company Roku for $22 billion in a cash-and-stock transaction. Via the Washington Post:

It’s a deal that will plunge Fox deeper into the streaming wars as a major player in free, ad-supported streaming at a time when large streamers such as Netflix, Disney+ and Hulu have pivoted away from offering only subscription plans and have begun providing ad-supported subscription options.

The company sold its television and film studio, then called 21st Century Fox, to Disney for $71 billion in 2019, and announced a pivot to live news and sports. In 2020, Fox spent $440 million buying Tubi, a free, ad-supported streaming service with a devoted fan base. This new deal would put Tubi and the Roku Channel, Roku’s own free-to-stream, ad-supported offering, under one roof.

Roku’s chairman and CEO, Anthony Wood, said that Roku reaches 100 million households around the world and that the sale to Fox will allow the company to “accelerate our vision, scale faster and innovate more aggressively for viewers, partners and advertisers.”

You know, I was just thinking that what we really need in this country are even more media monopolies!

Britain Unveils Social Media Ban For Under-16s

Ed Scarce — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 13:59:46 +0000

In the clip above, Isabella, a 14-year-old from Tarleton, seems singularly unimpressed.

Source: NBC News

British Prime Minister Keir Starmer has announced a sweeping ban on social media use for those under 16, joining other countries around the world seeking to protect children online.

“It’s a big step for our country,” Starmer said in a recorded video message released Monday. “Social media is making our children unhappy and unsafe, and as a parent, as much as a Prime Minister, I just can’t let that go on anymore,” he added.

The ban will include social platforms like Snapchat, TikTok, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook and X, while there is no intention for messaging services like WhatsApp and Signal to be included, the government said in a release.

Starmer’s government had been considering tougher limits on children’s social media as governments around the world face growing pressure to curb young people’s time online.

The push gained momentum after Australia became the first country to pass a law barring children under 16 from accessing major social media platforms, an effort aimed at addressing the concerns about the physical and mental health effects of excessive online use.
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Judge Poised To Order Criminal Trial Of Todd Blanche: 'More Than Sufficient' Evidence

David Edwards — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 13:01:54 +0000

A federal judge already has enough evidence to order a criminal contempt trial of acting Attorney General Todd Blanche — and needs no further investigation to do it.

That's the conclusion of Marty Lederman, a Georgetown Law professor and former senior Justice Department official, writing Monday for Just Security.

Chief Judge James Boasberg of the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia has all he needs to act — if a federal appeals court lets him.

"The evidence the judge has already elicited is more than sufficient…" Lederman wrote.

The case goes back to March 2025. Boasberg issued a temporary restraining order — a court order blocking further action while a case is heard — prohibiting the deportation of Venezuelan detainees to El Salvador's Centro de Confinamiento del Terrorismo prison. Two deportation flights took off anyway, mid-hearing.

Senior Department of Justice officials, including Blanche and then-Principal Associate Deputy Attorney General Emil Bove, had separately advised then-Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem she could proceed — telling her the written court order didn't mean what the judge's oral ruling had said minutes earlier. The Civil Division lawyers actually arguing the case were kept in the dark.

Antitrust Staffers Shocked By DoJ Approval For Paramount Deal

Susie Madrak — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 11:29:48 +0000

The Justice Department’s senior leadership closed an investigation of Paramount’s bid for Warner Bros. Discovery before career staffers who were concerned about the acquisition had an opportunity to object, according to people familiar with the matter who spoke to the Wall Street Journal.

Gee, I wonder how that happened?

A team of career lawyers who had spent months scrutinizing the deal were leaning toward recommending a lawsuit challenging it on the grounds that the combination of the two movie studios would be anticompetitive and violate antitrust law, the people said.

The staff investigators hadn’t yet made a final recommendation—a typical step in the deal-review process—and were told Friday that the department would close the investigation, effectively clearing the deal at the federal level, some of the people said.

The Justice Department’s senior leaders believed that Paramount Chief Executive Officer David Ellison, son of Trump ally Larry Ellison, persuasively addressed many of the staff’s questions about the deal during a two-hour interview last month, according to people familiar with their thinking.

I wonder how much it cost for Larry to "persuade" officials? And was it in crypto?

That Time Trump Insiders Plotted To Suspend Habeas Corpus

Susie Madrak — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 11:29:29 +0000

According to Haberman and Swan, who don't resemble scoop-hungry reporters like Woodward and Bernstein in the least, last spring, Will Scharf, an arch-conservative lawyer serving as the White House staff secretary, wrote a secret memo to the chief of staff that reflected the growing West Wing unease over one of the extreme measures being advocated by Stephen Miller, the nutjob neo-Nazi behind Trump's insane deportation campaign

Dated April 29, 2025, and stamped “confidential,” the memo was careful and lawyerly but amounted to a warning against end-running the rule of law. The subject line read: “THE WRIT OF HABEAS CORPUS.”

Habeas corpus — the centuries-old right to force the government to justify, before a judge, why it has locked a person up — is enshrined in Article I of the Constitution. Scharf’s memo, in its unassuming way, was a blinking red warning light. The second Trump White House was deliberating an explosive new claim of presidential power: the suspension of habeas rights for unauthorized immigrants.

The suspension of habeas corpus has occurred just a handful of times in U.S. history, and always under the most dire circumstances of war or invasion. Yet to a greater degree than previously known, administration officials, encouraged by Trump, actively weighed taking that step in the early months of his second term — this time to accelerate the mass deportation of immigrants in the country illegally.

Epstein Paid Deputy In Cash And Disney Tickets For Special Jail Treatment: Report

David Edwards — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 11:18:54 +0000

Jeffrey Epstein paid a Palm Beach County sheriff's deputy cash and Disney tickets for favorable jail treatment, his former assistant told Congress, per a new report.

Sarah Kellen, a longtime personal assistant to the convicted sex offender, testified before the House Oversight Committee on May 21, per a transcript reviewed by the Miami Herald.

Kellen also told the committee Epstein abused her from behind bars — using a jail computer to Skype her and force her to undress on camera, Raw Story reported.

It marks the first time a specific deputy has been named in connection with alleged payments at the Palm Beach County Stockade, where Epstein was held from 2008 to 2009.

"I know that he arranged to have cash and, like, Disneyland tickets, taken to one of the officers in the jail and I'm not sure what he received with that," Kellen testified. She identified the deputy as Michael Fox.

She learned of the arrangement because Epstein's paralegal, Story Cowles, complained about having to personally drive to deliver the cash and tickets.

Fox retired from the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office in 2020, and a spokeswoman said the prior investigation never surfaced the allegation.

Mike’s Blog Roundup

Steve in Manhattan — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 11:18:42 +0000

Annie Asks You - Russia is facing defeat because Ukraine is not losing;

Darwinfish² - Social Security 4 Dummies!

Joe.My.God. - Russia behind arson attack on Starmer’s home;

Seeing the Forest - the first AI war;

You Might Notice a Trend - describe Trump’s birthday party in one word ...

Send tips, requests, and suggestions to mbru@crooksandliars.com (with ‘for MBRU' in the subject line). Steve in Manhattan is on Bluesky.

Trump's 'Orgy Of Decline' Sets Off Conservative Stalwart After White House UFC Fight

David Edwards — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 11:18:37 +0000

A veteran conservative writer declared President Donald Trump is driving America into an "orgy of decline" after he hosted a UFC fight on the White House lawn.

Bill Kristol, editor-at-large at The Bulwark and founder of the now-defunct Weekly Standard, leveled the charge in a Monday column — the morning after UFC Freedom 250 played out on the South Lawn and Trump announced a ceasefire deal with Iran that Kristol says handed Tehran a victory and left America diminished.

"[W]riting about a defeat for our country is genuinely painful," Kristol wrote.

The deal, Kristol argued, left Iran's regime intact, its missile stockpiles untouched, and billions in unfrozen assets flowing back to Tehran. He leaned on an analysis by Atlantic national security writer Tom Nichols, who wrote that Trump and his team "…in record time, just lost a war to a militarily mediocre — but nonetheless extremely dangerous — adversary."

"Iran comes out a winner," Kristol wrote. "But Iran's victory isn't the most important outcome of Trump's foolish war. The most important outcome is our defeat."

The Trillionaire

Steve Greenberg — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 03:00:01 +0000

How obscene is it that anyone is a trillionaire, much less Elon Musk?

He's more like a trollionaire.

Open thread below.

- Karoli

Trump's Apathy Leaves Republican Insiders Expecting 'Punch To The Gut' In Midterms: Report

David Edwards — Tue, 16 Jun 2026 02:00:01 +0000

President Donald Trump's focus on his legacy instead of GOP candidates has left Republican insiders expecting a "real punch to the gut" in November.

Trump told reporters recently he doesn't care about the midterms. According to a NOTUS report drawing on more than a dozen Republican lawmakers and officials, his party believes him.

"He was in a friend-gathering mode before," one anonymous GOP operative said. "And now he doesn't give a s—."

The picture outside the White House is just as grim. Brookings Institution analysts now say key indicators point to substantial Democratic gains in November, including a new House majority.

A CNN analysis published Sunday found that subtraction, not addition, is the central GOP threat — Trump's slipping approval among his own 2024 voters risks them simply staying home.

Rubio And Hegseth Face Admin Threat For Opposing New Deal: 'May Pay A Personal Price'

David Edwards — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 21:50:53 +0000

Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth's jobs may be at stake if they continue to oppose President Donald Trump's Iran deal, a senior White House official warned.

The threat emerged in a report published Sunday by the right-leaning Israeli daily Israel Hayom, which detailed a bitter internal White House battle over the emerging memorandum of understanding with Tehran.

"The debate has been settled. Those who oppose it may pay a personal price," a senior US official told the outlet.

According to the report, Vice President JD Vance, envoy Steve Witkoff, and Trump envoy Jared Kushner have driven the push for a deal, arguing the Iranian regime is unlikely to collapse soon and that Gulf states — particularly Qatar — have pressed hard for an agreement.

Rubio and Hegseth argued the opposite: that Iran is buckling under economic pressure and Washington should tighten the screws, not ease them. The two men had been the public faces of that harder line — touting "Project Freedom," a plan to reopen the Strait of Hormuz by force, only for Trump to shelve it hours after they publicly praised it.

'The Emperor Has Clothes!' Fox News Mocked After Host Praises Trump For Walking

David Edwards — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 21:50:52 +0000

A Fox News host faced backlash after he said it was "remarkable" that President Donald Trump could walk during a G7 event in France.

John Roberts, co-anchor of America Reports on Fox News, made the remark live Monday as Trump arrived at the Group of Seven summit in Évian-les-Bains — hours after footage circulated of the president apparently nodding off cage-side at his own White House UFC event.

"The fact that he could even walk, Peter, given all he's been through in the last twenty-four hours, I think, really is quite remarkable," Roberts told Fox News correspondent Peter Doocy during live coverage of the summit's opening arrivals. "He's gotta be beyond exhausted."

Video from the night before had circulated widely, showing Trump with his eyes closed and his head leaning during the main event of UFC Freedom 250 — his own 80th birthday celebration on the White House South Lawn. The Mirror reported that Trump appeared to rouse when music began playing, purportedly asking those nearby, "What just happened?"

Seattle Uses AI To Triage, Divert 911 Calls Without Disclosure

Susie Madrak — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 20:04:45 +0000

A Denmark-based company’s AI technology has been listening to Seattle residents’ 911 medical calls without their knowledge for the past two years, according to the Seattle Times.

The Seattle Fire Department has been using the company’s AI to help dispatchers decide which callers don’t deserve a rapid response.

Corti’s technology is prompting the dispatchers to route certain 911 patients to a nurse-staffed Texas call center, rather than send them ambulances right away. It’s analyzing what patients are saying and, in some cases, nudging the dispatchers with pop-up alerts.

This has happened without any disclosure to callers and without any public review, the Fire Department confirmed in late May, two months after The Seattle Times started asking about the topic.

Fire officials can’t explain how they’re measuring the technology’s success or what their current contracts with Corti look like, further leaving residents in the dark. But they wouldn't lie to us, would they?

“The potential that this company could be a part of the experience that Seattle 911 callers have and they don’t know it, that raises serious concerns,” said Ryan Calo, a University of Washington law professor and co-director of the university’s Tech Policy Lab. “I’m troubled on a number of levels.”

Byron Donalds Celebrates Literacy With Misspelled Sign

Ed Scarce — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 18:42:02 +0000

Is our childrens learnin' yet? Not in Florida, they're not.

While discussing the importance of kids learning to read, Byron Donalds stands in front of his campaign sign, misspelling “achievability”.

Source: Florida Politics

On Saturday, the third-term Congressman revealed his “Read to Succeed” plan, which incorporates science-of-reading-based teacher training, early intervention for K-2 students, extra tutoring for those who need it in Grade 3, and a new statewide “Read to Succeed Award” for teachers who go above and beyond to ensure their students conquer the hurdles they face in reading and understanding the written word.

“When children learn to read by third grade, you’ve opened every door ahead of them. When they fall behind, those doors of opportunity are closed,” said Donalds. “Florida is choosing to open doors for every child, in every classroom, in every county.”

Childhood literacy remains a challenge in the state.

Florida is worse than 44 other states in what the Donalds campaign calls “reading recovery.” And 44% of 4th graders can’t read at grade level.

A reminder that the charter schools Byron and his wife tried to start failed and left many families scrambling to place their children in other schools. https://t.co/SMyZpxz1I9
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Trump Grins As UFC Fighter Slimes Michelle Obama At White House Event

Conover Kennard — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 18:38:36 +0000

UFC heavyweight Joshua Hokit, 28, beat Derrick Lewis at Sunday's White House fight night — then used his post-win moment to hurl a false and inflammatory attack at Michelle Obama. In the weeks leading up to the event, UFC President Dana White insisted the event was apolitical and merely a celebration of America’s 250th anniversary, but that's not what happened after Hokit made a whole entire little bitch out of himself.

And it was Trump's 80th birthday, and according to CNN, Trump grinned after Hokit yelled out, “Michelle Obama is a man! Am I right, America?"

There was an immediate backlash, of course. Because, fuckit, have y'all seen the current First Lady in the Epstein Files? That's real, whereas the slur thrown at Mrs. Obama is not. But sure, smear Mrs. Obama. I get it - Hokit is fantasizing about trans individuals, hoping Mrs. Obama is one of them, while in his sweaty fighter shorts, but it's Pride Month, so I don't want to slam him over his sexual obsessions. Just keep Mrs. Obama's name out your mouth, Hokit.

Classic: Hegseth Claims Victory, Then Brennan Drops The Reality Check

Conover Kennard — Mon, 15 Jun 2026 18:37:03 +0000

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth took a minute from doing his prancing Pete tippy toe dance, to strut onto CBS's Face the Nation Sunday to deliver what he clearly believed was a devastating flex — the U.S. has totally, completely, absolutely controlled the Strait of Hormuz this entire time, zero Iranian ships, boom, mic drop.

Host Margaret Brennan then gently inquired why, if all that's true, we're negotiating with Iran to reopen it. Hegseth did not have a great answer for that. If you're an oldster like me, you remember the lies that got us into previous wars, but this administration is really bad at it.

"By the way, I think your viewers need to remember, Project Freedom never stopped, and we've run 125 million barrels of oil through the straits, and Iran couldn't do anything about it," Hegseth said. "How many ships from Iran have transited our blockade?"

"Zero," he continued. "Zero."

Here it comes.

"We have controlled the straits this entire time," he insisted.

"You're going to negotiate with them to reopen it," Brennan corrected him.

Jinkies, I don't know, guys, but it seems to me that if you need negotiations to reopen any fucking thing, then you probably weren’t controlling it. Still, Hegseth is saying "Mission Accomplished" while they're still negotiating.