Crossroads

looking back...

2005-06-29T02:54:00.000-07:00

A forwarded email...which struck a cord.

> Tumatanda ka na, friend.
> Nasa Friday Magic Madness na yung mga paborito mong kanta.
> Nakaka-relate ka na sa Classic MTV.
> Lesbiana na yung kinaaaliwan mong child star dati.
> Nanay na lagi ang role ng favorite mong matinee idol noon
>
> Dati, pag may panot, sisigaw ka agad ng "PENDONG!".
> Ngayon, pag may sumisigaw nun, ikaw na yung napapraning.
> Parang botika na ang cabinet mo.
> May multivitamins, vitamin E, vitamin C, royal jelly, tsaka ginko
> biloba.
>
> Dati, laging may inuman. Sa inuman, may lechon, sisig, kaldereta,
> inihaw na
> liempo, pusit, at kung anu-ano pa.
> Ngayon,nagkukumpulan na lang kayo ng mga kasama mo sa Starbucks at
> oorder
> ng tea.
>
> Wala na ang mga kaibigan mo noon.
> Ang dating masasayang tawanan ng barkada sa canteen, napalitan na
> ng walang
> katapusang pagrereklamo tungkol sa kump! anya ninyo.
> Wala na ang best friend mo na lagi mong pinupuntahan kapag may
> problema ka.
> Ang lagi mo na lang kausap ngayon e ang kaopisina mong hindi ka
> sigurado
> kung binebenta ka sa iba pag nakatalikod ka.
> Ang hirap nang magtiwala.
>
> Mahirap nang makahanap ng totoong kaibigan.
> Hindi mo kayang pagkatiwalaan ang kasama mo araw-araw sa opisina.
> Kung sabagay, nagkakilala lang kayo dahil gusto ninyong kumita ng
> pera at
> umakyat sa tinatawag nilang "corporate ladder".
> Anumang pagkakaibigang umusbong galing sa pera at ambisyon ay hindi
> talaga
> totoong pagkakaibigan.
> Pera din at ambisyon ang sisira sa inyong dalawa.
>
> Pera. Pera na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay mo.
> Alipin ka na ng VECO, PLDT, SkyCable, Globe, Smart, at Sun.
> Alipin ka ng Midnight Madness.
> Alipin ka ng tollgate sa expressway.
> Alipin ka ng credit card mo.
> Alipin ka ng ATM.
> Alipin ka ng BIR.
>
> Dati-rati masaya ka na sa isang platong instant pancit canton.
> Ngayon,dap! at may kasamang italian chicken ang fettucine alfredo
> mo.
> Masaya ka na noon pag nakakapag-ober-da-bakod kayo para
> makapagswimming.
> Ngayon, ayaw mong lumangoy kung hindi Boracay o Puerto Galera ang
> lugar.
> Dati, sulit na sulit na sa yo ang gin pomelo.
> Ngayon, pagkatapos ng ilang bote ng red wine, maghahanap ka ng San
> Mig
> Light o Vodka Cruiser.
>
> Wala ka nang magawa.
> Sumasabay ang lifestyle mo sa income mo.
> Nagtataka ka kung bakit hindi ka pa rin nakakaipon kahit tumataas
> ang
> sweldo mo.
> Yung mga bagay na gusto mong bilhin dati na sinasabi mong hindi mo
> kailangan, abot-kamay mo na.
> Pero kahit nasa iyo na ang mga gusto mong bilhin, hindi ka pa rin
> makuntento.
>
> Saan ka ba papunta?
> Friend, gumising ka.
> Hindi ka nabuhay sa mundong ito para maging isa lang sa mga baterya
> ng mga
> machines sa Matrix.
> Hanapin mo ang dahilan kung bakit nilagay ka rito.
> Kung ang buhay mo ngayon ay uulit-ulit lang hanggang maging kwenta
> anyos ka
> na, magsisisi ka.
> Lumingon ka kung paano ka nagsimula, isipin ang mga tao at mga
> bagay na
> nagpasaya sa yo.
> Balikan mo sila.
>
> Ikaw ang nagbago, hindi ang mundo.

It explains a lot but not all. Life is a tad more complicated. Which is why growing old is such a pain. And unfortunately you can't go back to the way things were. Most of the time the choice isnt yours. You can only look back, try to remember where you were suppose to go and hopefully re adjust your direction.

Going back to the exact same place you were before is stupid. not to mention impossible. Because the people you were travelling with was part of the reason that part of your life was great. And chances are, they won't be in the same place you left them.

musical baton...

2005-05-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

Speaking of which, the equalizer in the car was stolen. And they broke the window to open the darned doors.
Total volume of music files on my computer:
nada. All in cd's

Last CD I bought:
Il postino

Song playing right now:
let me go - 3 doors down

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
Tell Me Where It Hurts (MYMP) - (i know, copycat) the first time I heard it was when they sang it live and I was hooked. The ambience and the people I was with makes it unforgettable.
Awit ng Barkada (APO) - story of our tropa
La vie en rose - because i want to be optimistic
Moon River - audrey hepburn and dean sison
I need to be in love (carpenters) - because there has to be a Carpenters entry

Crap. I dont know anyone I can pass this to...

hope springs

2005-05-22T18:01:00.000-07:00

yep, the Philippines is corrupt. Do I think the issue will be resolved in our lifetime? nope.
But I think we ought to put in some effort for the future inhabitants of this country. In any case, its always nice to keep informed.

A topic even superheroes dare not touch with a bargepole, I wish these guys the best.

http://anticorruptioncoalition.blogspot.com/

blind spots

2005-03-10T23:52:00.000-08:00

I've often wondered why people stay in an intolerable situation, complain a lot but refuse to do anything about it. I could never understand why there are abused women who tolerate the abuse.

Well I think the point has truly been driven home.

I can remember a time when I would exuberantly take a blind corner, reckless and daring. I relished the challenge of starting something new. Cocky and untouched.

But somehow, along the way, I lost it. The unwavering daring and the considerable amount of stupidity that pushed me to do those things (only I seriously doubt if I did lose the latter or it just mutated into some other form). And I realized it just now. I lost it in maturity avenue.

And it hit me that that is the reason why old people drive slowly. Why people suffer untolerable situations. Because there are ways to cope in a difficult situation but it is so much more difficult to face the uncertainty of a blind corner.

run for your lives!!!

2005-02-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

I was quite tired and listening to a friend's rants while on my way home yesterday. I was quite full, having partaken a disgustingly big meal, which wasnt such a good idea because it later on it occured to me that it might be my last. But i digress.

We came from the bridge that connects Landmark and Glorietta (Ayala center is a big mass of crisscrossing malls and bridges)and we were already in the atrium. I was planning to go to G4 and buy some sugarfree cake from Bizu to give to my diabetic grandmother for valentines. Now, we noticed a mass of people running from the alley that connected SM Makati to Glorietta and they were all rushing to the G4 alley. Since G4 is were the cinemas were at, I thought, "Oh no, not another batch of crazed fans rushing to meet piolo or richard or some such cheesy star". And then I saw that even people from the ground floor were also running. And that was then that something dropped and I grabbed my brother dog and ran back. The first thought I had was, fire... SM is burning, and it was only newly renovated, I hope they have insurance.

Now, it was already escalating to a stampede because the people behind us also started running, although they had no idea why we were running. During which time I thought back to Lion King and thought, Im dead. And my parents will kill me if something happens to my brother. My brother started running to a branching alley because the entrance to Landmark was already being swamped. So we tried to go there and saw people running towards us, and I thought, oh no, its also there.

At this point, it is quite relevant for me to tell that during lunch we were discussing ghost stories in the office. I cannot remember why exactly we were frightening ourselves with ghost stories on Valentines, but people here do have a great sense of irony.

As I saw the people from that alley rushing back towards us, it flashed in my mind that maybe people just saw a ghost. (My officemate who was with us thought that there were zombies attacking the mall). Of course we don't have any choice here but go back to the herd and contribute to the stampede. At this point, I was already huffing and puffing. And as we squeezed and elbowed people to get through, I thought, finally! that there was a bomb. In SM city. (the bus thing was a little too far fetched for my mind at this time since I only saw people running away from SM)

And then it really struck me that I may die. And I thought that while I am not particularly fearful of death, I wouldnt want to die as a victim of principles that I dont share. And not with my brother there.

Before, I do admit to be quite Machiavellian in my principles. I believed that at all cost, a leader does what needs to be done. But I realized that not every one shares the same belief and the same prnciple and those who dont subscribe to the principle shouldnt be ignored or sacrificed in the altar of self righteousness of a few.

To the victims and their families. I give my apologies. And my condolences... for the lives of the people affected and the principles you were never allowed to air.

Crossroads

2005-02-14T02:16:00.000-08:00

Lately, Ive been feeling that Im losing in this race. That Im really not running the grand prix and im just part of the little side races... saling kit. Now, considering that Im already dead tired, Ive been feeling overwhelmed by the image that all the efforts that ive exerted may not amount to nothing in the big picture.

Now, in one of the past races that ive joined, i have met quite a few travellers. We were together for quite a while, and we were happy. We exchanged war stories, and to risk sounding mushy, we shared fuel. But on few of the branching roads, we parted. They chose their road, i chose mine. We started out on parallel roads but you know the nature of roads, the branches grow branches. And although the direction we were taking were the same and the roads were pretty much parallel, bushes eventually grew between the roads. You get the occasional shouts, but you never really saw the person on the other side.

What does this post get down to? Yesterday, the roads we were taking converged once again. Friends came from mountain tracks, crossed seas, took a bridge, all of them quite literally. And yesterday, we shared food, fuel and warmth. And for one night, we were quite happy to put up our feet, 8 people crammed together in one small car (again, im being literal here)and drove to the next pit stop.

Now, tired, exhausted but not beaten, im happy to pick up where I left off. I may not be part of the big race and I sure will take a long time to get to that finish line but Im happy. Because here in the side races, I can safely take a break without fearing that ill be part of a major highway accident.

Jaywalking

2005-01-17T16:16:00.000-08:00

What is the origin of the word 'jaywalking'?

The complete Oxford English Dictionary traces the word jaywalker back to 1917 and labels it 'originally US'. There is a cross-reference to the word jay, which has a number of slang senses. The relevant one is 'a stupid or dull person, a simpleton. Also (as adjective) dull, unsophisticated; inferior, poor'. This is labelled 'US colloquial', and there is evidence of use from 1900. So persons who stupidly ignored traffic regulations were given (in Boston, it seems) this compact name.

That came from here.

When people make mistakes, sometimes we think they are stupid. Why? I don't really know. Maybe it's because since childhood, we have been given rules: "Hey, you, don't play with that kid because he's got a bad father" or "Get one and pass" or "Don't touch that." Even in games, we have been given all sorts of rules. Sometimes, as kids, we used to quarrel all about the rules. Remember playing Patintero or Taguan (Hide and Seek) with your neighbors? I remember one of the smaller kids telling the bigger kids (their older siblings, usually) that s/he has cheated and so on and so forth until all hell breaks loose.

As adults, we have all sorts of rules as well. Traffic rules, office rules, dating rules (and I actually saw my sister's book on this - a gift to her by one of her bestfriends during high school) and whatever else they may be. But the greatest rules are the moral rules.

I am sorry for the term but I don't know what else to call them but moral rules. It's why we talk about what is right and what is wrong. And sometimes we can't help but do what is wrong, even after much deliberation. Sometimes, the wrong things seem like the right things. Let me revise that: Sometimes, the wrong things feel right. Like smoking - it is harmful for the body and yet people do that because it feels right.

And just recently I heard of friends who got pregnant. Friends who I thought trusted me enough to let me share in their situation. I would have helped them through these things. But I felt that I was shut out of their lives. One of them I haven't seen in a while so I can't hold it against her. It's her life and I am glad that even though it has happened, the guy is with her, standing by her - They both admit their part in this thing. On the other hand, my other friend whom I see every week and we usually talk about such matters, didn't even think of telling it to me until our other friend asked her to do so because her tummy is showing already.

I guess when these things happen to you, you find it hard to tell to other people because they would think that you are stupid. Maybe it is the case because somehow, we are familiar with the moral rules. We know that people will probably talk behind our backs and say all kinds of nasty things. But with friends and family, it's hard to tell because they have expectations about us and once these things happen, we feel that we have failed them. There are rules that we abide by. Sometimes we break them and we end up bickering over these rules. And people get hurt. We hurt ourselves, we hurt other people around us too. The repercussions are greater in real life than in the games we used to play. (Hmmm. Maybe that is why sometimes the quarrels are longer, the arguments more heated. Especially, when nobody 'fesses up. Or sometimes everyone just gets too stubborn and/or proud.)

I have had friends who have had such situations in the past. I was thinking to myself, "What on earth were you thinking?" but even though I have blurted that out, I still stood by their side. Why? Because I don't want them to do hurt themselves more. I guess that is why I feel a bit hurt right now. Because one of the friends I currently see regularly has underestimated me. Sad, but this is what happened.

It was bad enough to have made a mistake but to try and kill the child living inside her was worse. I almost cried when I heard that. I wanted to go to her right then and talk to her, affirm to her that she is still loved despite having to raise the baby on her own. I guess that she couldn't bring herself to tell me because I lead Bible study sessions. We talk about purity and holiness. But we also talk about forgiveness, mercy and God's grace. I have used my past and current mistakes to show her my frailty as a human being, a person who is still being changed by God. And I guess she was intimidated by her perception of me.

This time, I want to walk beside her, holding her hand. I don't want her to make that mistake again. It's time to learn. Not just for her but for me as well.

Rail Transits

2004-12-21T01:57:00.000-08:00

I went out on a shopping trip last Saturday and while stuck in traffic got around to thinking that life is literally a very long journey.

I wanted desperately to visit Divisoria (w/c is not unlike HongKong's shopping district, according to Mom) because of the amazing things you can buy in the area. I was well aware that it would be jam-packed but I persisted and really got great buys! In real life? You want to get the best out of life? get your butt moving, be ready to face fierce competition, bargain and fight like you are on your last peso. Sure you will get bruises and you'll get trampled on but you can get the greatest deals of your life in the process.

For too long i have preferred the air conditioned confines of the mall. Settled for the mediocre because I was too lazy to really get out the way to pursuing what I really wanted. As a result of which, got cheated and bad bargains.

Upon which, I decided to really go after what I wanted... Hongkong movie cds! I've never been to Ongpin (or Quiapo for that matter. All I knew was the name of the store but since I had my Mom with me, we decided to give it a go! So from Divisoria, we walked (somewhere along the way, she confessed that she doesnt really know exactly where Ongpin is). My feet hurt, and my shoulder was making crunching noises when I rotated it but we persisted.

And I found another store! not mei ah but one that also sells chinese movies and series! It was fun! The prices were a little high for me though, and I went out to try and get out of the trance that might get me to splurge (I get nightmares whenever I do that). And so we trekked on and found Mei ah! And I bought a movie I was looking for!!!

And then before we knew it, we were at the Carriedo LRT station!

I was exhausted but finding the one thing that really makes your day is worth it. Just now, I realize that I often forget to do things that really make me happy. It makes the happy days more special true but I think I kind of forget that we deserve to be happy everyday. Otherwise, life can get pretty pointless.

Bridges

2004-12-21T01:49:00.000-08:00

There are some people in your life that literally helps you reach a different road in your life.

I read a friend's post about one such person, our college dean. She was both mentor and friend. She was not in any way perfect and Im sure her life wasnt either... but you wouldn't know it. She had such zest for life and you cannot help but be infected with the joy with which she faces difficulties.

She had such charm. But more than that, she touched people's lives. She touched mine. And I am so much blessed for having known her.

She was the guardian at a checkpoint. She generously and graciously opened another road for me to travel. And I am where I am because of it.

Dead ends

2004-11-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

There are some roads you wish you have chosen to pursue.
But sometimes the choice isnt entirely yours to make.
These are the instances that can often leave you hanging,
hung up on the past.

Which I was. Until I met him again.
Quite happy with the road he has chosen.
And I realized that I was also happy with mine.

When I wake up each morning trying to find myself
And if I’m ever the least unsure
I always remind myself
Though your someone in this world that I’ll always choose to love
From now on you’re only someone that I used to love
As for me it’s getting down to the last unspoken part
When you must begin to ease the pain of a broken heart
Tell me why should I even care if I have to lose your love
From now on you’re only someone that I used to love

And if ever our paths should cross again
Well, you won’t find me being the one to get lost again
Once I had so much to give but you just refused my love
From now on you’re only someone that I used to love

A thousand miles

2004-11-17T18:10:00.000-08:00

(that song just stuck since I watched white chicks)

My friends and I went on another videoke night last weekend ( I was just so swamped and lazy that it took me this long to write about it). It was fun! We took turns picking out themesongs for each other (our lives are grand musical productions).

Ehem, mine was "I need to be in love" by the Carpenters. And it was only then that I truly appreciated the lyrics of the song "next in line"... What has life to offer me
When i grow old, What's there to look forward to beyond the biting cold...What's there beyond sleep, eat, work in this cruel life.

Then we reminisced about high school, and the songs popular back then... yup, including spice girls songs! nyahaha! It was so fun. And of course, being the competitive people that we were, we just had to invent a contest. Haha, it was hilarious!

We had categories... songs w/ love on the title, OPM originals, classic-songs-from-your-grandparents-era, Diva songs (Celine Dion, Whitney, Mariah, etc), Theme songs from cartoons, and Christmas songs. The 2 w/ the lowest scores pays for the coffee.

Need you ask? I was poorer by a couple of hundred bucks. hehe. But it was fun. By the time we finished, we were all hoarse and crying with laughter. We had so much fun insulting each other.

The thing that bonds Filipinos? Food and Song. And there were plenty of those to raise up anyone's spirit!

dont drink and drive

2004-11-07T19:41:00.000-08:00

My family has more fun than I do. They know all the happening places and boy, my idea of a good time pales in comparison to theirs!

They rented out part of a bar in timog and we had a blast! With free flowing beer and 8 bottles of tequile, you can bet it was fun! Man, they were the ones initiating the dancing for goodness sake! But they sure showed me how to party! hehe! I was the one concerned about drinking and driving! They were laughing and singing and poking fun at everything and anyone! You can really see that they were having fun!

Downing down bottles of beer and gulping down shots of tequila can really change your point of view. Literally! I was walking without slouching without any effort at all! It was more effective than all those physical therapy sessions I had!

Someone commented on the radio that it must take intelligence to be miserable. The proof? just look at how happy simple fools are. I concur with this idea! If alcohol kills brain cells...

Well, I was certainly happy that morning when I slept. I dreamt that Alonso the f1 driver was here and I got the chance to get his picture and schumi got piqued because I ignored him and demanded I have a picture taken with him too! And then, Alonso became curious and decided that he wants to spend his vacation with me... it was during this time that he promptly takes the features of Button (hehe). The whole team was already looking for him and his trainor sounded like he was crying on the phone because he needs to get back to his routine. nyahaha! That was one fun dream.

I was tipsy okay...

Chickens and crossings ver 2.0

2004-11-03T23:17:00.000-08:00

Im a pretty straightforward person... sometimes.

I was bloody serious for example, when I said that I am that chicken too chicken to cross the darned road.

Now, my life, which for some reason exists only in a dream plane, is in a crux. I really was deathly afraid of committing to someone. I think the thing that threw my friend into a loop was the fact that I havent even seen the person.

Okay, i do sound loopy. But hey, i figure thats part of my charm. Its one of the things I have decided to be and Im sticking to it.

But I digress. In my convulted world, my logic is perfect and seamless. Let me try and explain it to you. If you like a person even before you meet him/her, then just imagine what a wreck you'll be when you actually meet that person. Okay there is a chance that you'll fall out of it, but come on, realistically, if you are already psyched up about that person, unless they reveal something horrible like for example, they murdered someone or they voted for a certain actor in the last elections, the chances of you not liking that person would be slim.

Meeting that person is almost tantamount to committing to that person. Its sad i guess, but Im thinking, what if you fall for the person and that person doesnt? And really, a girl's options are limited in those scenarios. At least, not knowing what the person looks like gives you the liberty to be sarcastic and imagine all sorts of disgusting stuff that will make you like him less.

Relationships are often a hit and miss affair. I guess Im just too chicken to bet. Hopefully, I can get an insurance plan first.

singing while cruising with the top down

2004-11-02T02:59:00.000-08:00

Well, I keep wishing that i had a convertible anyway.

It was a very fun weekend for me. I havent gone out in a long time and tame it might be, I was quite happy to just hang around with friends.

Walking my way downtown...

It was fun. I really appreciated the chance to relax, unwind and recharge.

Somewhere down the road...

2004-10-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

"...our roads are gonna cross again, it doesn't really matter when..." - from a Barry Manilow song

isn't life unpredictable? you'll be surprised with a lot of things that's happening (or will be happening) in your life. sometimes, an unexpected person "crosses your road" and leaves you wondering why...

witness to road accidents

2004-10-26T03:49:00.000-07:00

Im a real coward. I never denied it. Which might account to my being a bystander in life.
Some roads I could have crossed but I was too afraid to take those first steps that I never realized the willingness of person on the other side to meet me halfway. And before I knew it, traffic made it impossible for me to cross. And silly me stood there waiting for the traffic to clear. Only the person has moved on.

These type of situations really contributes to a person being whiny. Just another one of my flaws. But you know, it just dawned on me that it isnt that bad.

Being a coward that I am, I make it a point to collect people's experiences and make theories. (pathetic, i know, but we all have our kicks). And lately the stories I have heard somehow lessened the pressure that society imposes, you know... the happily ever after thing.

Both stories were about breaking up. One insists that right after the break up, the perfect partner suddenly appeared. 0_0'
The other one was so depressed she refused to get up for a month, had to see a psychologist and take anti-depressants. The family went out of the country for a change in atmosphere. And this is a really smart and pretty businesswoman!

I'm hoping I get enough gumption to actually cross the road sometime, but I think I'll wait for the crossing guard. Better yet, I hope he carries me.

U'll-turn

2004-10-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

U'll notice that the title is somewhat derived from the traffic sign..U-turn. This sign is now often seen near the intersections which were closed by the MMDA. Yup, near those blocked & now useless intersections. I may never get to appreciate that move, but i can really relate it to my life. In my life, I've had passed along a lot of intersections, some crossroads that I may never encounter again. I've made some decisions on little (but now big) things that I've learned to regret & hopefully forget. "U'll turn" is what I've been wanting to say to the person who's left and hurt me.. Yes, I sound pretty pathetic and bitter, but that's just it. I'm only human. At present, that's what I'm feeling. Sure they say, I'll find another, but first love is the deepest, i'm having a hard time setting that person aside. But I guess we're not meant to be. So now, I must move on.

Driving along Quezon Avenue on a Monday morning

2004-09-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

We were driving along Quezon Avenue. What's there to see?

The Manila Seedling Bank, the NAPOCOR office, the pink waiting sheds with billboards...

Yes!

There is a nice billboard over there.

Then again, I could be biased.

Why? You really want to know why?

Because there is a billboard of House of Flying Daggers!

I am so biased! Andy Lau is in the movie! Yes!!! I love watching Andy Lau movies. I know it's not just him that is in the movie but he is just a wonderful actor. My sister and I couldn't help but scream in a very fangirl-ish way. Mom was so shocked really.

But do check it out if you pass by Q Ave;)

I have no idea when they're showing it in Metro Manila theaters but it's something I'll be waiting for^_^

Don't drink and derive

2004-09-13T03:33:00.000-07:00

That was in the shirts of the UPPA (UP Physics Association) members... the geeks! :o

It amused me then and it amuses me now...

I mean, there is a chance that theories and formulas tried and tested can seem like crap in the hands of a drunk, albeit genius physicist. Now, Im not claiming to be any genius physicist (heck, thats the last thing I'll claim!) but I like to think of myself as a master manipulator (ask my parents).

Heck, even if Im not a master manipulator, Im obsessive compulsive, so I plan. I mean, I really, really plan! And I absolutely hate things getting so out of control (which might explain why Im developing misanthropic tendencies). Which was what happened yesterday.

Man oh man, the repercussions of last night's party was just well, unexpected. People rose from the grave, mutated roses blossomed and i got run over at least 10 times. And Kimi retired from the race. I thought the curse of my birthday stopped last year, but it seems the effects are not so apparent.

The derivation of life, people and their relationships is not a science. And Im no genius. And Im drunk.

Vertigo

2004-09-01T18:54:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered if you were really supposed to be here, trudging through life?

I was doing exactly that yesterday when the world started spinning, LITERALLY!
Vertigo... Vertigo is a type of dizziness that's characterized by the sensation of spinning. It's sometimes referred to as a hallucination of motion.

And believe me, I'd rather have the flu or a migraine anytime. Closing your eyes doesnt stop the world from spinning, if nothing, it increases the spinning sensation.

Its mainly due to a lack of balance... not the physics type of balance where you get the center of gravity but more of biology/chemistry balance of fluids and particles in your body (See? I knew physics was useless for me!)

And I got to thinking... ( I know, not again!) that sometimes you just lose sight of the thing that keeps you on your feet. That there are simply days when you get thrown out on your axis and all you can do is sit down, relax, put yourself together and wait for your world to settle down again.

So what if the world is still spinning when you close your eyes? So what if you got slightly left behind by your peers? This really isnt a race, and if it is, you're bound to catch up on one of those heavy traffic intersections.

road rage

2004-08-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

I was busy snuggling in my bed when my alarm went off... And I thought, o crap, Its raining...why do I have to go out? If I was in UP I'd be cutting classes. But I am now part of the friggin system!!! Okay... breathe...

I went out of the house, looking pristine and by the time I got to the gate of the subdivision, My pants were wet to the knees and my shoes was soaked. And we were on high ground!
I backtracked, went back and my gramps offered to drive us to the MRT. Armed with better knowledge (or so I thought!), I put on my jeans, my happy feet sandals and an extra pair of slacks to put on when I get to the office.

So we went, tried out 3 roads leading to the main road (That should have given us a clue!). Then, we got stuck... THINKING that it was just bad traffic only to find out after an HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES stuck there that the road was so flooded no one dared to continue. We couldnt go back since we were sandwiched between cars. I went down with my brother, assessed our chances and tried to get the cars in the back to turn around. Which was stupid since I think it went back a good kilometer or two. A few brave drivers went ahead (they will be fondly remembered) which put us 3 cars away from the sea of dirt, garbage and dog pee.

We made a painful decision, camp out in the van (I had barbeque in my bag) or try and cross a knee high, 20 meters long pool. We watched with fascination the cars and vans getting out of the flood spewing smoke. Then we decided, whaddahell! the van isnt new anyway. We kindly asked the other drivers to move a bit so we can give it a go (most of the drivers were on the street, enjoying a cigarette and making new friends).

Hmmm... the rest is a blur because I was so nervous that the flood would get in and ruin the breaks among other things, but we survived. And I figured that I better go to work so that the sacrifice om my gramps and the van won't be in vain. And then, when we were in guadalupe, my brother sent a message saying that malacanang declared no work for gov't employees. And it was just cruel...

My Life? is so like the metro right now... flooded and filled with dog pee.

-xiao chen

The wonderful world of commuting

2004-08-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

I live far from my workplace. Usually, the commute is bearable because I ride with my mom (she drives on her way to the office) and she drops me off at the train station. Anyway, this morning was particularly horrible. It was raining when we left home but it looked like the type of rain that stopped after an hour. But as mom drove out of the subdivision, the rain began to pour so hard. When that happens, the roads get flooded in our part of the suburbs.

I muttered to myself, "Great. Absolutely great. This is truly wonderful." As you can see, I was totally sarcastic about it. There's no other word I could use to describe what I was feeling.

She drove on, and on, and on. It was getting really terrible because in C5-Sauyo, there were vehicles that were turning back. That simply meant that Tandang Sora was congested and parts of it were flooded, especially the St. Charbel-OLAP area.

Mom passed through Project 8 and the radio announcer said that Mayor Sonny Belmonte hasn't declared suspension of classes yet because vehicles could still pass through the main roads. I beg to disagree. And just then we saw two small boys, probably just 7 or 8 years old, walking on the sidewalk. They looked drenched and were about to be blown away by the wind. It was pitiful, I tell you.

I was dropped off at the MRT North EDSA station. Mom had difficulty seeing the road. I had to get off when I noticed that the road had a substantial amount of water, enough to make me splash and get me wet. It was irritating. I got on the train. Guess what?! Rainwater was entering the door. The rubber lining wouldn't hold. Argh.

By the time I got to Guadalupe, I was soaking wet. Terrible, terrible, terrible. I couldn't get a jeep. They didn't want to pass by the International School (that's where I get off). And I couldn't get a cab either. *Sigh* This is one of those days I wish I worked in Quezon City.

Right now, I am drying my shoes.

A pedestrian unfriendly area

2004-08-20T01:01:00.000-07:00

I work somewhere within Fort Bonifacio Global City (http://www.fbglobalcity.com/comprofile.html). It is an area being developed right now, somewhere here in Metro Manila. It's such a large place. It used to be military fortress. Now there are a lot of businesses and retaurants here.

My workplace is near Market! Market! (a mall which will be open by next month) and the problem right now is that there are roads which are closed. The jeepney drivers choose where they will pass by. Although I tell the driver as soon as I get on the jeep where I want to go but still - they end not passing by it! This week it has been terrible for me. I've been walking around here, where there are not much pedestrian crossings and sidewalks. So early in the morning! Aaargh! And in my office uniform too. Those were the mornings that I just wanted to go home and sleep. I wish that there would be more pedestrian crossings and sidewalks here.

all roads lead...somewhere

2004-08-18T03:47:00.000-07:00

I found myself on quite an adventure last week. yup! yup! I ventured to a part of the metro I havent been before... and I commuted!

And I came to these conclusions:
It is better to travel with a friend.
We both were unsure of what road we were going to take so it was a case of the blind leading a blind. Yet there is some comfort knowing you're not alone in your journey (or maybe its a convulted sense of crab mentality... nyahaha! we are both lost). Then there is also the fact that we are going to different destinations... same city but different zipcodes. Yet somehow we travel the same main road.
And during that journey, you can be sure that we enriched each other's lives in some way . This entry sprung from that experience, after all ...so maybe it wasn't that constructive, but it sure was fun!

(more to come...)

motion sickness

2004-08-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

Life, they say is a road to be travelled.

Hmmm...

The problem is, I have motion sickness.

-Xiao Chen (the keeper)