Crime in Mission District is of little interest to hipsters

Luigi — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 11:01:29 -0700

People keep dying in the Mission so the Mission Community Council held a meeting last week. Aaaaaaaand hardly anyone showed up. A commenter on the Mission Mission blog put it best:

the mission has been taken over by hipsters. That�??s why nobody went to that meeting, hipsters dream about �??change,�?? they preach about it, but they always expect others to deliver those changes.

Ouch. That's a bit of an exaggeration, eh?

cycling abroad WITHMYVELO.FUCKER

Milan — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 16:13:35 -0700

There's an excellent article about the culture/lackthereof in Amsterdam which can be found at this url: http://bygonebureau.com/2008/08/25/the-problem-with-biking/ The conclusion sums it up beautifully in why they bike in Amsterdam, and generally Europe. "I didn�??t fall in love with biking in Amsterdam because I was part of some movement or cause. I, and everyone I studied with, biked because it was safe, normal, and the best way to get around." A viable solution to how we can imitate their success is also given in the article. But then I realized it's much easier to just move to the Netherlands rather than try to change the mindset of thousands of stubborn individuals. Mark the words from my mouth: Milan will live abroad by 2010. FRESH

September 11, 2008: Looking back seven years

Luigi — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 11:24:14 -0700

Milan and I drank two bottles of Chimay and filmed a September 11 skate video over the weekend.

It might be the most offensive thing on YouTube.

Adam Savage inhales sulfur hexafluoride

Luigi — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 17:24:46 -0700

Wolf sent me this video has a midday snack.

rob anderson smokes pole

God Leopard — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:53:56 -0700

rob anderson=douche bag

rob anderson is a tremendous douchebag. for some reason this cunnywaft felt it was necessary to block a massive pro-bike plan for san francisco in 2006. his rationale being that their will always be a lot of cars on the roads, but having more bike lanes will only slow them down, thus causing the cars to idle more and emit more pollution. since the city didn't initially do an environmental review of the bike plan, he argued that you couldn't legally implement it. what a cocksucker. personally, people shouldn't be driving in the city anyways, because it blocks my full access to the roadways, which bicyclists are legally allowed. but most of the people aren't even from the city. this makes them hideous cunts that couldn't buy a decent pair of jeans to save their lives. also, they are fat. like obscenely obese. i throw up everytime i'm near union square, because of the hordes of ugly obese people. rob anderson is a cocksucker

GO YES EAT FROG

Luigi — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 21:41:53 -0700

mmmmm frog soup

We need more sliding-scale sandwiches

Luigi — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 13:40:22 -0700

when i went to lunch today i saw a blind lady headed south on van ness. when i walked across the street two hours later to buy opera tickets for a friend i saw the same lady headed east on grove. i�??m pretty sure she was just walking circles around the building. i was all like, �??lady, you are so blind! what a goof you are!" i then proceeded to dance merrily and eat a sandwich. it was a good sandwich. but it was an expensive sandwich because it was purchased in hayes valley. hayes valley is a row of shops/restaurants on hayes street just west of civic center. due to some law some people passed sometime, chain businesses are not allowed on the street. this is good because it encourages the germination of various small, interesting boutiques and shops. this is bad because small, interesting boutiques and shops require above-average quantities of dollars for their services. as i stood in line to buy a seven dollar sandwich i thought, �??hey, this guy in front of me with his flashy business suit and shiny shoes can drop seven dollars for a sandwich, no sweat. i, on the other hand, will not be eating produce for the next two weeks to compensate for eating lunch in hayes valley twice in three days.�?? why don�??t more places in this country operate on a sliding-scale basis? hang up a sign saying �??if you make six figures, this sandwich will cost you ten dollars. if you�??re a broke piece of crap, pay five.�?? i think it�??d work just dandy. why? because people are decent for the most part, they�??re not all going to insist they�??re poor to save a few bucks. the frugal bastards who do only put in five bucks when they can afford more will be countered by the pride-soaked i-like-to-appear-rich-even-though-i�??m-poor middle-lower class patrons. you know, the people who drive rice-rockets. no one likes to look cheap. plus the restaurant would get more business by catering to individuals of all financial situations rather than just elitist hayes valley people. either that or we should have a suit-wearing tax. if you wear a suit you have to pay a certain amount/day. or maybe you just have to forfeit your soul. oh wait�?�

family portrait

God Leopard — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:52:42 -0700

beer is teh best

this is what my dreams look like when i drink too much smirnoff ice

Luigi — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 01:40:04 -0700

how gay is this englishman

God Leopard — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 00:46:04 -0700

bike crash

apparently the english are a bunch of fascists. some bicyclist was riding his bike when a group of douchebags decided to get in his way, causing an accident. The rider shouted out to "move because i'm not stopping," but naturally the little fuckers wouldn't budge. when the girl fell, she hit her head, which proved to be fatal. the cyclist was ruled to pay £2200 after being convicted of dangerous cycling. some would say the cyclist got off lucky with only having to pay a fine, i say FUCK. THAT. SHIT. the only person that got what they deserved was the wretched cunt that created the accident. why do people feel like it's ok to not give cyclists the rights that we deserve? he shouted a warning, she didn't move, she got her comeuppance, case closed. the fact that the cyclist had to pay a fine is something close to extortion. the government is supposed to be helping us, not ransoming our rights. we need to band together.

this shit is gay

wolf — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 21:36:50 -0700

ultimate gay

what the fuck is going on with this bike. this shits on the almighty faces of da vinci and george lind and all the fucking bicycle designers that ate slept and bled cycling like it was fucking food rest and life force. it's like what would happen if microsoft decided to make a bike for fuckers. and there's way too much space between the l and the y in the logo. L2KERN NUB

get this man in the Xgames now

God Leopard — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 15:45:36 -0700

. i did that with a 40 of king cobra once, but i didn't feel the need to shoot it in hi-def or anything. the man definitely had some very well manicured facial hair though. http://www.macaframaproductions.com/

a thank you note

Tilda — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 22:50:45 -0700

Gustav, I cannot possibly convey how relieved I am to find you only side-swiped one of the most lively, culturally rich and raw cities this NAYSHUN'S EVER had the pleasure to grow. SO THANKS. You tooootally had the predictators of timing and futures stopping their own watches; we were convinced you had it out for new orleans! but as it happens, you only wanted to punch it a few times in its heart. IT SHALL REVIVE AS HOUDINI NEVER DID. you slapped on a bruise some shoe-string and shit wads of cash will repair. So what if I feel like punching YOU, Lord Gustav; I'm not short-sighted enough to incite the wrath of your many cousins. in fact you probably contributed to the lawless vibe circulating the head and foot-space of nola's occupants, and for such mass-scale mental-fucking, you should be proud. VIVE LA FRANCE. I really can't blame you; I'd want to touch the place too. kiss its sweet shores on your way out for me. thxbud.

FINALLY: A BIGGER Google search

Luigi — Mon, 01 Sep 2008 03:58:33 -0700

bigfuckinggoogle.com

Crucifixie presents bigfuckinggoogle.com. It was between hugegoogle.com, giganticgoogle.com and reallybiggoogle.com. So we went with bigfuckinggoogle.com. That should keep their ToS happy. We need more domains with the f-word in them. With the level of crap floating around the toilet bowl that is the Web, are people still afraid of the word 'fuck'? Here's to inappropriately titled websites! In conclusion: Expect great things from crucifixie.com in the upcoming weeks. We have some videos shot in extremely poor-taste that we're currently editing and will post soon. Some really good stuff. We also have a few new faces to introduce. Stay tuned.

How do people get anything done in San Francisco?

Luigi — Wed, 28 May 2008 19:05:09 -0700

It's so damn cold all day. Every day. A few weeks ago we had a couple days of sunshine and heat and people actually had the energy to do things. We wandered the streets at midnight wearing t-shirts. Normally we hide inside, avoiding the -10 degree wind chill and suffocating fog. I know as soon as I step outside in ten minutes it's going to be chilly and overcast. I'm going to go home, eat dinner and sit around until I fall asleep because going outside involves wearing layers and squinting as the wind blows the smell of piss in my face. Sure, other places in the world encounter much crappier weather. Where things actually freeze and/or get so hot the sun in unbearable. But those places have things called "seasons." We don't have those here. It's the same temperature all year round. GIVE ME SOME F'IN HEAT. LET IT HIT 80 DEGREES JUST ONE MORE TIME.