With only three more weeks to go until Wyatt is here, there is some major sibling anxiety setting in. Not on Ben’s part, of course, but on mine.

Ben obviously still has no clue that he’s going to be a big brother. I doubt he even knows what that means, even though I say it to him fairly regularly. And while for the most part, I’m not stressing too much about having two babies, I do worry about how Ben will handle it once Wyatt is here.

There are some definite pros in this situation. The biggest one is that Ben absolutely loves being around other kids. When he sees them, at the store or a restaurant or wherever, he gets very excited. He’ll smile and laugh and babble at them. The downside, of course, is that these are usually older kids — still toddlers, but usually they’re around two or three. Babies, especially newborns, will probably not be as exciting to him. They don’t really do anything to make him laugh. Or at least, they won’t at the beginning.

People have also pointed out that the fact that Ben’s so young could be a benefit — he’s too young to get jealous. I am definitely wary of that claim. Yes, Ben is extremely young to be getting a little brother. But I don’t know that I believe that he won’t be jealous. He’s never seen me holding another baby, giving another child attention and love. He’s used to being the center of my attention, 100% of the time, every single day. I may not wait on him literally hand and foot, but I’m always there and only for him. Having to suddenly “compete” with another baby? I’m not sure how he’ll take that. I would love it if he was too young to be jealous, but I just don’t know that I believe he’ll have no reaction when suddenly, he’s not the center of Mommy’s universe anymore.

And another fear, albeit the smallest one? I worry about how he’ll act around the baby. Ben doesn’t really play rough or anything, but he won’t know to be gentle around a newborn. He doesn’t understand that. When he gets excited, for example, he’ll flail his arms all over the place. If I’m holding him, that means I usually get smacked in the face a few times — not because he’s trying to hit me, but because he just doesn’t know better. I can just foresee something making him laugh, and he goes to flail around, and smacking Wyatt right in the face. That probably won’t actually happen, but still. I do worry about how their interactions will play out.

I never planned to have two children so close together, that’s for sure. But it’s happening, and fast. The sibling anxiety is definitely settling in, and I have this awful feeling that there’s nothing I can do to prepare. All I can do is sit here and wait.

How did you prepare yourself for having your second child? Any advice on making it easier on me and Ben?

I have learned how to knock over the folded laundry, pull it out of the basket and make said basket my home!

How do kids do that? Do something or say something that you haven’t taught them. It’s so cool! Everyday she does something different it seems like. For instance I have been trying forever to teach her where her eyes, ears, mouth and nose are with only minimal success. She gets bored. I’m a boring teacher. However, I always tell her, “I see your belly” when I’m changing her diaper and then pretend to eat it. Well this morning I did my usual belly eating routine and I only got to say, “I see your…” before she finished it for me! She smacked her belly violently with her insanely cute (borderline disgusting it’s so cute) smile and said very clearly, “BEWL-EE!”. I’m such a loser and I cried and laughed at the same time. It just caught me by surprise! So because I have a nifty, new, super smart iPhone that I refused to buy all these years, I decided to face-time (or video chat) with nearly everyone I know so we could complete the charades. Unfortunately, by the time we got to my mother she was over the word “BEWL-EE”.

She also points to things now and I recite what they are. She absolutely loves tree and flowers (apple doesn’t fall far) and I’m sure that any day she is going to surprise me by saying, “TWEE!”.  She has the “T” sound down and makes it everytime she points to a tree, but that’s all she can do.You’ll all be the second to know when she does though I swear!

It astounds me that around 10 months something seems to click. You can see their little brains working very hard and absorbing things like reusable Bounty sheets. It’s super neat and I can’t wait for the next thing she wants to show me! Of course since we’re working on tree, she’ll see Obama on TV and say, “OMAMA!” or something as equally as opposite than what I’m teaching her now.

What were some of your toddlers first words?

Last week, Joshua had a cast check in Morehead City.  Nathan was at preschool, so it was just Emily, Joshua, and me.  Perhaps that’s why I was brave.  Anyway, the appointment ended early, and we had just enough time to go visit the shoe store, grocery store, and some other stores before going back to pick up Nathan.  Joshua and Emily were both great for the appointment, though, so I decided it was time to go have some fun instead.

Emily felt that fun involved swings and a slide, while Joshua just wanted to see the water.  First, we drove to a little park downtown, and they had a great time climbing around and smelling the flowers.  Then, we headed to the waterfront to enjoy a little snack before the ride home and look at the water.  Joshua loved watching the boats go by, the birds fly around, and the little waves coming in.  He was seriously in heaven.

While I’m still on the hunt for new summer sandals and we ran out of bread the next day, I’m still glad that, for once, I took the time to have some fun with my kids.  Emily is still talking about it, and Nathan has insisted that he’s going to skip preschool for our next cast check.  It’s time to be the fun mom a little more often.

Are you the fun mom?  Or is your to-do list miles long like mine?  How do you balance it all?

Everyday Abigail and I start our day with some television. We differ in opinions on what to watch though. She loves Mickey Mouse Club House and I prefer NCIS. She does like the NCIS theme song though.

If I put her shows on she will play in the living room with her toys or sit there and watch them. Usually she just ignores the TV and plays with her toys. So I change the channel and immediately she comes over and makes me change it back. Even if she doesn’t watch it she likes it on.

I think this is because she likes to dance and those kids shows have lots of music. Even when I put on NCIS she dances to the theme song. The funny thing is that she laughs when you are supposed to laugh, even before I do. It’s like she understands shows way beyond her level. It’s hilarious.

Have you noticed that kids shows these days are completely different than when we were young? Besides Mickey Mouse of course, he’s always a classic. Mainly, the shows on today are just strange.

Abigail really only likes Mickey Mouse, Doc McStuffins, and Phineas and Ferb. I LOVE Doc McStuffins. It’s about a little girl who is a stuffed animal doctor. Probably the cutest show on tv right now. Abigail just adores it. She will sit through the entire show just watching and dancing.

I am so thankful for TV keeping her occupied so I can get chores done throughout the day. I know most moms will tweak at the thought of television in their child’s lives but I am all for it, in moderation of course.

Do you let your toddler watch television? What shows are their favorites? 

The Mommy Wars never really go away. But Time magazine’s newest cover, featuring a mom breastfeeding her three-year-old while he stares into the camera, just re-inflamed them. Add in the headline “Are You Mom Enough?”, and controversy was sure to be born. All of this, of course, was right in time for Mother’s Day.

As if moms needed to feel worse about their parenting on a day meant to celebrate them.

I think we all question how we’re doing as parents. I know that I do. Sometimes I think that I’m doing a really good job. I see that Benjamin is a sweet and happy boy, who listens when I give him directions, and is healthy, and think that I must be doing OK. But there are other times when you can’t help but question yourself.

Everything I just mentioned, for example — how much did I really have to do with that? It could just be his disposition, and I got lucky. I feel worse when he’s still not walking or talking, and then the doubt inevitably sets in. Am I not “practicing” with him enough? Do I talk to him enough? Am I good enough? It’s even harder having to do all of the parenting on my own, because there’s no dad here right now to balance out whatever screw-ups or deficiencies I might have as a parent.

But the reassuring thing is — at least for me — is that I also know that we all feel this way, at some point or another. And with some “expert” telling us how we should be parenting every time we turn around, it only gets harder. Now that Mother’s Day is over, I figure it’s time to make a resolution for ourselves as moms. Stop with the mommy wars and the sanctimonious advice and preaching. If someone doesn’t parent the same way you do, guess what? That’s OK. And likewise, we need to stop beating ourselves up as moms, second-guessing and feeling guilty. At the end of the day, we’re all doing the best we can because we love our kids. And really, isn’t that all you need to be a good mom?

Do you ever have these mixed emotions? How do you handle it?

So, the bug and I put on our sunscreen, packed up our beach bag and headed to the beach.  It was 82 degrees inland and breezy on shore.  A perfect day to introduce my little beach bug to the ocean. Once settled, which took approximately 10 minutes after we found our spot, Lily looked around, threw her little hand into the air and exclaimed something very profound using her little baby garble.

We played with our sand toys in the sand, pointed at birds, and tried to pick up a cigarette butt.  All in all, it was a successful trip to the beach.  Lily’s first.  We only stayed for about 35 minutes, but that was enough to cover me in sand from head to toe.

So parents, what are your beach outing tips?  There has to be a trick or two out there to make the experience a little easier on us parents.

Suburban s'mores before the campout

(Read here to find out why we started the charts and here to find out how the charts work)

Nathan and Emily started their charts with a bang – by the time I was out of the shower the first morning, they had already made their beds, put away their dirty laundry, and cleaned the room.  Those first few days, I hardly had to remind them to complete their responsibilities.  It was amazing – the house stayed clean, I didn’t yell, and no one went to time-out.  It was actually pleasant around our house.

Initial bursts of enthusiasm are exactly that, though – initial bursts.  We’re just finishing up our first month with the charts, and I wish I could say that everyone was still so eager.

We’ve also discovered that it takes quite a bit of energy to maintain the system on our part.  Nathan and Emily are little, and they honestly forget all the things they’re supposed to do in a day.  Ideally, they would be sufficiently self-motivated to check their chart, but this is real life.  I have to remind them fairly regularly to clear their dishes or make their beds.

Some of the responsibilities, however, have almost become second nature now.  Cleaning up the toys is much less of a struggle than it used to be.  They regularly clear their dishes, and anytime they make their bed is more often than they were doing it previously.

They’ve also enjoyed their rewards.  Nathan had a campout in the backyard with his dad two weeks ago.  Emily and I painted had a mani/pedi with pink sparkly nail polish just yesterday.  They’re both now working towards a movie night next Friday night.  They now have a mechanism whereby they can earn rewards.  And the tasks being asked of them are manageable and reasonable.

All in all, I would call our responsibility charts a success.  I feel like we’re doing a better job of working together as a family to learn responsibility and take care of our house.  As a bonus, I yell less, and they get to do fun things.  And that sounds great to me.

Have you tried any chores or responsibilities with your little ones?  Have you had any successes?

Everyday activities keep many parents so busy that they can’t take their children with them everywhere.

That makes it crucial to find the right babysitter and make sure that the sitter can be entrusted with your child.

Safe Sitter, a national organization devoted to training adolescents to become safe babysitters, strongly recommends that the sitter have had some babysitting training, including what to do if a child begins to choke. Read more>

Timothy and his cousin celebrate their birthdays together. Timothy is four and his cousin is five. Their birthdays are about a week apart. They really don’t mind sharing the spotlight and it makes it much easier on the family to gather together once instead of twice.

This year Timothy’s aunt bought a piñata. We made sure that everyone had a chance to swing at it. Timothy had never hit a piñata before so he intently watched the other kids. Since this was his first experience with a piñata, he was very curious. I could see the wheels turning in his head. He knew that there was candy in it and he was hoping one of the kids would break it open. He watched each one take a turn, but nobody could break it open. We blindfolded him when it was his turn and he rushed into the piñata. He hit it hard and fast. He was jumping around so enthusiastically that the blindfold slipped down from off of his eyes. He didn’t want to give up so he covered his eyes with one hand and kept swinging the bat with the other.

All of the kids were having fun because they were taught the importance of taking turns. They enjoyed their opportunity to swing at the piñata and we told them to cheer for the other kids when it was someone else’s turn. It was teamwork that weakened the piñata and eventually showered the kids with candy. Teaching life lessons during games can be very rewarding.

How do you teach simply life lessons through child-like games? 

Your next try is after they go to bed for the night but who has motivation that late in the day? How about waking up early in the morning before your child wakes up? No thanks. I really love my sleep.

I have two solutions that work for me. First of all I take her running with me. She usually loves the stroller. Sometimes she can get a bit whiney but she hates being strapped down so I don’t blame her. I usually just bring snacks and other things to keep her entertained.

My second solution is putting her in her crib with a bottle. We do this when we want to do our daily Insanity work out. When my husband comes home from work we will put her in her crib with a bottle in order to get our 30-40 minute work out in. She spends about 10-15 minutes drinking her bottle and the rest she just entertains herself by playing with her stuffed animals or talking to herself. It’s actually really cute.

I would work out at her nap time except I use that time to finish my work for class. Thankfully I finish my degree the first week of June so I can free up some of my day again.

My best advice for moms who want to get a good work out in during the day is try to involve your child some way or another. Do some push ups with them on your back or laying on the floor under you. Maybe do some squats while holding them or sit ups with them on your stomach.

If you don’t involve them they will try to involve themselves which gets complicated. I highly recommend running. It’s a stress reliever and my daughter gets her fresh air and sunshine. It’s great!

How do you find time to work out?