CursingMama

Every Day Celebration

2012-02-14T14:51:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning with a million little things dancing around in my head. My to do list is long, my want to do list longer. I stumbled into the shower and began mentally composing yet another victim impact statement to the Walnut Tree (not that there will ever be the opportunity to give it, it is my current way to try and make sense of what the tree is doing).

I realized somewhere between shampoo and conditioner that today is valentines day and this week is my anniversary week and through this craptacular year I have been blessed (more than I maybe deserve) with an amazingly strong and wonderfully loving husband.

I don't think we are doing anything special for today's Hallmark holiday - and if the calendar is correct the day of our 21st anniversary will come and go with little fanfare because we will be participating in events for ThePrincess, and that is okay.

I don't need* fancy jewelry, a surprise dinner out, flowers, or even a card; we celebrate what we have every day. I think not taking our relationship for granted the other 363 days a year is what makes it strong enough to withstand the tough times and helps keep each of us individually strong every day.

*Of course I wouldn't turn down fancy jewelry, a surprise dinner our, flowers or a card even though we agreed that we were going to let things be low key this year. I'm a girl for goodness sakes! What girl doesn't like to be romanced, wooed and showered with gifts from her love?!?

What To Do With Rotten Walnut Trees

2012-02-10T13:45:00.000-06:00

When I was younger, much younger (before boobs), my best friend was a boy. Being best friends with a boy back then was easy, I didn't have boobs (so they didn't get in the way) and we both liked to do a lot of the same things.

Although it was easy to be best friends with a boy, it was not always easy to do the things the boy wanted to do. I didn't struggle with tag, swimming, riding bikes, or Hot Wheels; but I did struggle with others. Anything to do with a baseball, softball, or even volleyball was out, I wouldn't even pick me to be on my own team. I was a horrible bicycle repair person, refused to touch snakes, and never did master writing my name in the snow via urine.

Other than the snakes (and other wildlife) I tried my best to keep up. (yes that included the snow thing - I was YOUNG!) So, when my best friend shimmied up the big walnut tree in my front yard and declared that there was no way I would be able to do it, the competitive feminist in me kicked into high gear.

The competitive feminist isn't always the wisest of my personalities.

Despite my complete lack of upper body strength and a storied past of never doing a single pull-up, never getting off the ground on the rope climb and winning an award for being girl who fell off the monkey bars the most, I showed that boy the 1 finger salute (taught to me by my dad, the same person who told me I could do whatever he could do) (he must have forgotten about the snow thing) and attempted to climb the tree.

It was, quite frankly, a miracle. Between my stubborn pride and the adrenaline rush I was feeling over the salute I had given, I managed to not only shimmy off the ground but I made it high enough up that when my arms and legs gave out completely I landed hard enough on my back that I got the wind knocked right out of me.

I clearly remember lying there under that damn walnut tree with half rotted walnuts under me, ruining my clothes and staining my skin...my best friend staring down at me, eyes wide and mouth agape as I struggled to take a breath....it was utterly terrifying. And, for me at least, scary enough that I never tried to climb that damn walnut tree again and have done my diligence to ensure that I keep myself out of physical situations that could lead back to that horrible feeling.

Unfortunately, I've learned that in life it almost doesn't matter what you do to protect yourself, someone or something is going to knock the wind out of you when you least expect it. Sure, you could hide yourself away and avoid caring or feeling, but someone or something will still eventually get to you.

I'm not the kind of person to hide myself away... so this last year has been spent with instance after instance of getting the emotional wind knocked out of me. Sometimes the fall wasn't as far and it was easier to start breathing... but not every time, and certainly not this last time.

No, this last time, this last thing, it feels like I've fallen from the top of that walnut tree and landing on every branch along the way. Laying on each branch just long enough to start to get my breathe back, but then that branch gives way and I tumble to the next and have the wind knocked out of me all over again.

I'm working hard not to let this last thing own me, to stop hitting branches and just bottom out so I can get up, brush the fucking rotted walnuts from my clothes, scrub the stains from my skin and make damn sure this never happens again.

Because this ....unlike all the other stuff that came before....THIS I can make damn sure never happens again.

I can chop this walnut tree down if I want to.

But I'm not sure I want to get the ax out, I'm not sure I'm ready to fire up the chainsaw and be done with it. This tree has been in my life for so long...it's provided all the things that you expect from a strong, proud tree and I'm not sure what my life will be like if I never see this tree again.

The thought of life without the walnut tree hurts almost as much as the fall, but I also can't let the tree hurt me like this again.

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Updated/Edited To Clarify: It suddenly dawned on me that this post could be misconstrued to mean that something bad is happening between Mr.Motorcycle and I. I assure this isn't the case - he and I are golden.

Maybe 600 pounds is exaggerating

2012-02-03T12:23:00.000-06:00

Last Night......while ~~bothering~~ visiting with ThePrincess as she did homework...

CursingMama: I feel like runny dog poop

ThePrincess: (rolls eyes) That's gross.(continues with homework)

CursingMama: Fine. This cold is kicking me in the ass and I feel like a 600 lb man has taken up residence in my lungs.

ThePrincess: (loud sigh) That's better. (continues with homework)

CursingMama: I think your dad might have a Man Cold though.

ThePrincess: (very worried look) That's not good....not good at all.

Fortunately Mr. Motorcycle is well aware of the Symptoms of the Man Cold and is trying desperately to fight them off. I appreciate his diligence because, truth be told I may have had a slight case of Man Cold myself on Monday but did my best not to bother anyone with it other than the moaning and whining from the recliner where I slept most of the day.

Beware... I hear the Man Cold is going around....

I Caught A Big One!

2012-01-31T11:34:00.002-06:00

Technically, I'm not much of an angler. I have my own pole, and I'll even put my own bait on the hook but beyond that I am pretty much done. I don't select the "sweet spot" I don't choose the bait, fly, spoon, whats a rig a majig, and I avoid taking what ever I may catch off my hook.

Doesn't matter if it's a fish, seaweed, or garbage.

I don't participate for long, if at all, and I do not look forward to fishing in a boat, from the dock, from shore, on the ice or even in an ice house.

Casual participator at best. Which is why, other than the previous introductory information, this post has nothing to do with fishing despite it's title.

What this post is really about is the head cold I'm fighting. It's a doozy and couldn't have come at a worse time.

All the stuffed up numbed brain tissue is having a very hard time putting two coherent words together. I'm kinda dizzy in my office wondering if my head might explode. I have coworkers who told me I should have stayed home, which I would have loved to do except my boss doesn't want me to go home - he wants me hear working, saving his back end from the frying pan.

Which is ironic because that is where fish go

Promises, promises

2012-01-26T16:00:00.002-06:00

I just don't even know where to begin.

I struggle with what to put here, in this space, and in the end it often remains blank.

I read just as many blogs as I did a year ago, I just don't do very good at coming up with comments any more. I wonder, do my responses mean anything, are they just ticks in a box so someone can earn more ad dollars and have a nicer cell phone than mine.

I know that I've alluded to "things" off and on for quite a while. Put simply, the last year has been hard. It isn't any one thing, but instead is the culmination of things, some little, some big, all contributing to making things harder than they ought to. At least that's the way I see it.

This is not to say that I am barely functioning, depressed, or even living in a land of no fun ever; because I'm not. There have been wonderfully bright, happy, fulfilling times in the last year. Times that when put in context of all the crap seem to shine brighter than they would have if the crap wouldn't have been there at all.

I'm good, sometimes I'm even great; but I'm dealing with a lot of things that require me to wear my big-girl panties far more than I would like.

Just like it took more than one thing to create the hard, taking care of, recovering from and healing from the hard isn't going to be solved by any one thing either. What strikes me is that ten years ago I would have poured my heart out through words on paper as my first step to good. But I'm a different person today, in many ways because of the hard, in other ways in spite of the hard; and writing doesn't come as easy or doesn't heal the way it used to.

Maybe I'm not entirely ready to heal, maybe I need more time with some of the things... maybe I need to let the hard sit in a box on the highest shelf of my closet and focus on the wonderfully bright, happy, fulfilling things and write about those.

Regardless of what happens I am going to try to write here more. I can feel in my bones that I need to write. Hopefully this promise to myself is worth more than the paper its written on.

Trashy Book Reading Burns Calories!

2012-01-13T15:21:00.001-06:00

I don't think that I've hidden the fact that I have become somewhat of a gym rat. And by that I mean I make a concerted effort to go to a health club (which I pay membership to) at least 4 times a week; when there it is expected that for no less than 45 minutes I will exert a lot of energy, enough to SWEAT.

I am not a fan of sweating.

If I HAVE to sweat there are preferred ways to make that happen at the gym... and when people get in my way I have a tendency to get a little.... frustrated. I suppose it is the same kind of frustration I feel when commuting, only I have to refrain from my use of colorful language and am not allowed to give the bird or use my horn.

They don't have very many of my preferred device of torture. It is a magical cardio machine that doesn't put any stress on my arthritic knee or wrists & allows me to read trashy books to keep my mind occupied - PERFECT.

The recent changing of the year has caused a SURGE of new health club members and those people were getting in my way! I know I want the public to be healthier - I do want people to fulfill their resolutions... I just want them to do it somewhere else.

Fortunately....sorta....the attendance numbers are already slipping!

Source: someecards.com via Cursing on Pinterest

I suppose this is as good a place as any to admit that despite all of my sweating & food watching I have not lost a single ounce. My pants don't fit any better and my arms are still floppy. Things are going to change.... I have seriously pondered hiring a personal trainer....OMG what is happening to me?!?!

I will not give up Happy Hour (and yes I do count those calories)

Sometimes The Truth Is AWESOME

2012-01-11T15:54:00.001-06:00

Told him this just last night.....

Source: Uploaded by user via Cursing on Pinterest

I should also mention that my husbands wife's husband is freakin' awesome too.

Because It's A Holiday

2012-01-06T14:25:00.002-06:00

Somehow I managed to order a calendar for myself that includes a lot more holidays than my previous one did. Today is Epiphany - not entirely sure what I was supposed to be celebrating/memorializing/holidaying I looked it up on-line and remain not entirely clear.

There was... conflicting information, some of which was confusing and I am not up for calling my kids school, St. High School, and asking for a more complete and clear answer.

I wonder if they had a special mass at school today.... probably.

Dictionarily and Epiphany is:

e·piph·a·ny
[ih-pif-uh-nee] noun, plural -nies.

1 ( initial capital letter ) a Christian festival, observed on January 6, commemorating the manifestation of Christ to the gentiles in the persons of the Magi; Twelfth-day.
2. an appearance or manifestation, especially of a deity.
3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
4. a literary work or section of a work presenting, usually symbolically, such a moment of revelation and insight.

Because it is also Friday and Friday is Fun Day I will refrain from getting thoughtful and deep on you today by revealing some of the epiphanies I've experienced the last 2 months... they will be revealed in pieces as we go in 2012.... instead I give you an epiphany someone else had and shared on Pintrest.

It explains so much

Source: bargainhuntingmamas.com via Cursing on Pinterest

I might ask one of the kids for a better explanation* tonight, try to get a little more bang for my tuition buck! Or, I might skip the explanation & go celebrate at Happy Hour anyway....

*of the Epiphany, not the vapor lock - that one I'm pretty sure is right

To Be Continued

2012-01-04T12:34:00.000-06:00

Common sense dictates that I prioritize better than I have these last few months. I am on the brink of being entirely overwhelmed by all that is going on in my real life...and yet I just spent about 6 days doing next to nothing. This is not entirely true, I unplugged from the internet, I read, I wiped counters & did laundry, I took a long bath, I went to the gym, I saw friends, I spent quality time with my loved ones.. I did some real living, some real thinking, and some praying.... This story is To Be Continued

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The Magic Room

2011-12-29T19:45:00.000-06:00

**This is a compensated review on behalf of BlogHer**

According to her son, Forrest, Mrs. Gump said, “Life’s like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” My favorite brand of boxed chocolate comes with a handy photo guide so you know what you’re getting, but even then unless you’ve had that exact flavor before you aren’t always sure. Sometimes caramels are solid not liquid, fruit is in pieces rather than whole, flavors are different than what you expect...but it’s still chocolate and it’s still good. I believe books can be described in much the same way. Without knowing how a book is classified you don’t know what you’re going to get; but, sometimes reading the synopsis still doesn’t give you a clear picture of what to expect. Jeffrey Zaslow's The Magic Room: A Story About the Love We Wish for Our Daughters is a good example of this; what I expected and what I got were two completely different things, but it was still good, just like chocolate....or snickerdoodles.

What I expected was a collection of stories similar to those I watch with my daughter on “reality” television. What I ended up with is a story about a family business spanning generations. Stories of brides from many walks of life, some facing challenges I hope my daughter, or future daughter-in-law will never have to face. I have an understanding of how contemporary attitudes regarding marriage have changed the wedding industry. And, I have a new hope that someday my daughter will have a magical “Magic Room” experience of her very own.

You call it filler I call it filler about filters

2011-12-20T10:29:00.001-06:00

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What Makes A Hero?

2011-12-15T16:47:00.001-06:00

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Wisdom

2011-12-13T11:23:00.000-06:00

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Extravaganza Of Snickerdoodle

2011-12-06T15:04:00.001-06:00

Today, when in a mood that could and should only be described as "foul" (other descriptions would border on rated X), I found this waiting for me on Pinterest and the world was once again shiny and new.

Snickerdoodle Cake with Brown Sugar Cinnamon Buttercream

Source: foodiewithfamily.com via Cursing on Pinterest

It's official, The Season Of Snickerdoodles will have to extend beyond December.

This does not depress or upset me in the least.

I'm dreaming up some kind of Dessert of The Month thing.... Snickerdoodle would be a highly featured flavor.

Multi-Lingual

2011-12-06T06:00:00.000-06:00

You know it's going to be one of those weeks when I manage to speak fluently in all the languages I know by noon on Monday.

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I'm hoping that people will see the error of their ways (not doing things the way I say they should be done) and I can go back to just speaking English. I'm also hoping that I will get to see the Minnesota Vikings win a Super Bowl before I turn 45.

I dream big!

A New "Must Have"??

2011-12-05T13:19:00.001-06:00

Spotted this while shopping this weekend.
Mr. Motorcycle's immediate comment (after appropriate naughtiness) was "That's Bloggable"

Thank God for the Sexy!

2011-12-03T15:54:00.000-06:00

Explains EVERYTHING!

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The Winning Team FOR SURE!

2011-12-02T13:57:00.001-06:00

I'm building a spreadsheet entitled

THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVAHHHH

Unintentionally the gauntlet was thrown & I am now on a mission to host a holiday gathering to end all holiday gatherings. It is a long story, involves being repeatedly underestimated and continually forgotten, and is one of those subjects which I choose not to gut myself over on the internet. hint hint. wink wink.

This is probably not what Mr. Motorcycle was expecting to hear the other day, but I think he took the news rather well. I believe he has joined Team CursingMama; although his participation is not as enthusiastic as I had hoped.

Do not worry I have ways to get him engaged......

Oh for Gosh Sakes - get your minds out of the gutter!
A pan of Toll House Cookie bars should do the trick

Happy Friday!

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Tis The Season Of Snickerdoodle

2011-12-01T14:48:00.001-06:00

Today is the official launch of my favorite season of the year....

The Season of SNICKERDOODLE!

(look I even have a banner for it!)

For those who have been around here a while my love of all things snickerdoodle comes as no surprise. Throughout the year friends send me information about snickerdoodles, recepies for snickerdoodles, even random references to snickerdoodles. Why I love snickerdoodles the way I do I can't explain... I shouldn't be drawn to this perfect cookie with the correct bite and cinamon sugar at all... I should be all about the buckeye or the candy coated pretzel.

I am so drawn to snickerdoodles that I rarely have them, or anything that tastes like them, outside of the season. I don't dare. I would eat nothing but and then I could beat a full size hippopotamus in a scale breaking contest.

The "Official" CursingMama Snickerdoodle recipe is one from Gale Gand, via Food Network.

There is no lack of snickerdoodle goodies available on the internet (which I'm keeping track of on pintrest). It's going to be a very busy season....

snickerdoodle and pumpkin cream cheese sandwiches

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Snickerdoodle Bread

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Snickerdoodle Muffins

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Snickerdoodle Sour cream muffins

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Pumpkin Snickerdoodles

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Snickerdoodle Pumpkin Ice Cream Sandwiches

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And - Cream Cheese Filled Snickerdoodles

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I think I better rethink my Snickerdoodles in December only policy and add a few months when Snickerdoodles are allowed.

Isn't That The Truth

2011-11-29T11:36:00.001-06:00

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Took a long holiday break from work & blogging. I'm back to work and will slowly be back to blogging on a more regular basis.

If I was able to blog about things that I shouldn't I could fill 3 or 4 posts a day (ask my IRL friends how many whacked out emails they get from me every day) but I don't blog about those things I shouldn't (much) so this place is a little empty because well... that is the kind of stuff that is going on. A Lot

In other exciting news I have been spending a lot of time cleaning & organizing my own little slice of the world in an effort to keep something in order. I've been so inspired by things I've seen on Pintrest that I made a board just for those kinds of tips called Organized Home & have been diligently driving my family insane with the ideas every chance I get.

Next stop Coupon Binder!

I'll never be a true extreme couponer, but I find myself slipping ever so gently into the abyss. I see coupons as money waiting to be picked up.....I don't pick up all the currency (ie. things I don't need or use) but if it's American Currency (ie. stuff I need or use) I'll pick up a penny if I see it!

I'm perfecting the binder/list/coupon system in my head all the time... I'm sure Mr. Motorcycle hopes that it starts to take up more space than the part of my brain that is constantly remodeling the house.

Too Good To Be Passed Up

2011-11-18T15:30:00.001-06:00

Some of the best things I've pinned this week!

I wish I could've done this......

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How I felt earlier this week when someone kept looking over my shoulder...

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What I imagine Harley looked like when he was a puppy....

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What Mr. Motorcycle looks like when we come home from the grocery store, except his bags are reusable and FILLED to the brim - make them SUPER heavy check-out person!

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Happy Weekend All! I can be found in the gym, in the laundry room, cleaning bathrooms...and probably at that watering hole I try to get to once a week.

Helpful Advice

2011-11-16T16:58:00.001-06:00

I love advice. I love to give it and I love to ignore it when others give it to me.
Yes - I know, I'm a wee bit on the hypocritical side.

REGARDLESS - I have some advice to give based on some things I have learned after intense study.

If you are not feeling well rested and as a result are not living up to your potential during the waking hours of the day I have discovered that you can usually cure this by (a) getting more sleep and (b) taking a nap.

If your house is a always a mess I have discovered that you can usually cure this by (a) cleaning more often (b) throwing crap away and (c) making others clean up after themselves.

If you are having a hard time getting all of your tasks done career wise you can usually solve this problem by (a) getting the hell off the internet (b) eliminating your access to IM (c) refusing to speak to all coworkers unless it is about getting your work done and (d) throwing away the stuff you still don't have time for.

If you haven't cooked a decent meal for your family in so long they are starting to represent the characters from a popular fast food chain children's meal you may find resolution by making any or all of the following (a) a pot of Last Minute Chili (b) Hot Hoagies (c) Potato Soup (d) Chicken Enchilada Soup (e) Midwestern BBQ Chicken or (f) Quick & Hearty Corn Chowder. (I think you need to be a Tasty Kitchen Member to see some of those - but I'm not totally sure). PS the photographer of those foods is a TOTAL HACK!

If you haven't REALLY blogged (the mail it in posts do not qualify) in a long time and you know that you owe the readers you have left some kind of explanation for your absence you can (a) Tell the truth - you are really busy at work and don't have the time to devote to the blog that you once had (b) Try to explain with metaphors - because there is a lot going on but so much of it needs to be filtered because you want to keep your job (no, you really don't) and you need to protect the privacy of loved ones or (c) make peace with the fact that you can't really explain why you've been so quiet so just say it already and talk about something else.

I'm sure you get the drift.

I hate to complain...

2011-11-11T15:50:00.001-06:00

With moments to go before I leave I thought it would be appropriate to mention that I am thankful for the opportunity to be cranky about my job. That I have a job I choose to work at, that I can leave at any time for something different (theoretically, financial concerns aside) that I am thankful for the gifts and fruits of being an American.

That, without question, never leaves my mind.

I still like to complain, but ecards do it better than me....

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And there hasn't been an Incident for 2 days... so that's good...

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And this is possibly the best idea I've seen all week....
pre-made Mason Jar "beverages" It's a lot like investment cooking only it's investment drinking....

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TGIF My Friends - TGIF

Because Someone Ruined Hump Day

2011-11-09T10:14:00.001-06:00

My day was tainted before 8AM. So very wrong for Hump Day, a weekly holiday I openly celebrate at noon when I proclaim:

WE ARE HALFWAY DONE WITH THE WEEK EVERYONE DRINK!

And then people look at me strangely and I go about my business of being giddy because we are getting closer and closer to Friday and further and further from my enemy Monday. (Don't try to remind me that I am getting closer to a whole new Monday, that day does not exist in my conscious until Sunday afternoon)

So, someone ruined Hump Day by behaving in an uncelebratory defamatory douche baggy manner in my cube/officelet and I have gone in search of things to reverse the negativity brought to the holiday.

Quiet Ryan - watch more funny videos

Not funny enough?
Did you see the kids whose parents ate all of their Halloween candy?

Sneaky Mommy!

Kids not your thing? How about Animals?

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Don't like cows? How about penguins - or SEALS?

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There's one in every crowd....

Or maybe let's just get to the heart of the matter after having my day ruined...

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I will find a way to have a happy hump day!

WE ARE HALFWAY DONE WITH THE WEEK EVERYONE DRINK!

What We Have Is A Hostage Situation

2011-11-08T14:28:00.000-06:00

Almost every time I go somewhere there I go through one of two shameful rituals. I either take the camera, and take no pictures or I bring the camera, take a zillion photos - some of complete nonsense (ie. Glacier National Park - 18 pictures of the same goats you can't see unless you have a magnifying glass) and then never do anything with them other than KNOW I HAVE THEM.

And feel guilty for not doing anything with them.

I dream of having my photos touched up, printed, organized, displayed...but have a very hard time getting it done and sometimes paying the money it requires to get it done. These are pictures of vacations, kids events, special trips with friends.... all living on little plastic cards in my camera, in my camera bag, sometimes lost in the junk drawer.

I'm trying to do better, hoping to do better, as part of my big plan to get myself organized. I am searching for tools to not only make it easier but to also make it make financial sense. I think the first place I lose my self is in the financial commitment of a home computer (and monitor) with the software it "requires" to touch up my photos and the second is in taking the time to sift through all I've taken. Not sure which is the biggest hurdle.

Anybody else holding their vacation hostage on little cards which you've misplaced in drawers & cupboards too?

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Speaking of Photos - don't forget the contest I'm hosting for Shutterfly - Last Day to Enter is Thursday November 10th!