Dear Diary

Guest Diary Authors

2010-04-17T11:12:00.003-06:00

Below are some posts from some Pet's Diaries. One from a Dog and one entry from a Cat. These are my guest diary authors. Enjoy! Comment below and tell me which pet you'd rather have!

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary...

8:00 am - Dog Food! My Favorite Thing!
9:30 am - A Car Ride! My Favorite Thing!
9:40 am - A Walk in the Park! My Favorite Thing!
10:30 am - Got Rubbed and Petted! My Favorite Thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My Favorite Thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the Yard! My Favorite Thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my Tail! My Favorite Thing!
5:00 pm - Milkbones! My Favorite Thing!
7:00 pm - Got to Play Ball! My Favorite Thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My Favorite Thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the Bed! My Favorite Thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...

"Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending remarks about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how I can use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell. So he is safe. For now..."

Awesome Prank! April Fools!

2010-04-01T19:16:00.003-06:00

Dear Diary,

Pranks are great! Often times, pranks and practical jokes can take a lot of preparation time. But the result can be hilarious. Since it's April Fool's Day, I just wanted to share one of the funniest videos that I have seen. I hope that you enjoy! Feel free to voice your opinion on some of the funniest pranks that you've been victim/culprit to in the past.

-Scared Straight

What's Next for Apple?

2010-03-30T17:08:00.002-06:00

Dear Diary,

Later this week is the release of the Apple iPad. Before it was officially announced, I was hoping that it would be like a macbook with a touch screen like what Axiotron does as pictured to the left.

I received an iPod Touch for this last Christmas and do not need something that is pretty much just a big version of "The Touch". Sorry iPad! I think that I'm going to have to pass you up.

The next thing on my wishlist is an iPhone but I have a contract with T-Mobile and don't really want to fork out for an 'unlocked' iPhone. So I'll wait until my contract is up later this year.

-Steve Hobbs

So that beg's the question, What will Apple think of next? What about the Macbook Wheel! Get to know the Macbook Wheel by watching the short news report below!

Night Terrors

2010-03-27T13:21:00.006-06:00

Dear Diary,

I get scared sometimes of monsters. I know that they are just waiting until I fall asleep at night or during the day or anytime that I fall asleep. They are just waiting. Waiting. The other night, I pretended that I was asleep but I really was just awake. I peeked and saw a monster! There were actually two of them! I had no idea that monsters are friendly with each other. They were holding hands and everything. It was probably a boy monster and a girl monster.

The next day, I went to the police station to report what I saw and I was able to work with one of those guys that draws people for the cops. This is what he came up with.

-Scaredy Cat

For more Daily Monsters. Check out: http://www.dailymonster.com/

99 Death Eaters

2010-03-26T10:44:00.003-06:00

Dear Diary,

Today I thought a lot about life would be like if Voldemort rises to power and we have to be Deatheaters. Not sure if I get excited or scared about that. Maybe a little of both.

-Gregory Goyle

Any Questions?

Mastering the Internet in 1997

2010-03-25T11:02:00.005-06:00

Dear Diary,

Today was a particularly exciting day. I just got my "Mastering the Internet" videos in the mail. Now I will know what the heck I'm doing. I am especially excited to Chat with Men...

...about Football!

Also, there's nothing that I enjoy more than having the internet work for me.

Sincerely,
Computer Illiterate

The World Wide Web or "Internet" has been around for a little while now. Below are just a few examples of what you can use the "Internet" for.

Sports Scores
Chatting with Women
Doing your Taxes
Football Scores
Chatting with Men about Football
Egyptian Literature
Sending electronic M

Okay. I admit that I feel like I have mastered the Internet. Well almost. Watch the following video and tell me if you can do any of this stuff.

Mastering the Internet: Part II

"Don't work for the Internet. Let the Internet work for you"

(Is anyone else thinking about Kip from Napoleon Dynamite?)

Are you ready for the Apocalypse?

2010-03-24T22:23:00.007-06:00

Dear Diary,

I know that the Apocalypse is right around the corner. A lot of psychics have predicted it. We only have a couple of years to prepare. I hope that I'm prepared.

Sincerely,

Gamer

Experts say that video games are preparing the youth for post-apocalyptic scenarios that are unavoidable and inevitable. Are your dedicating adequate time throughout the day to prepare for these imminent events.

What are your thoughts about adequately preparing for our dismal future?

Apple announces the new iPad

2010-01-27T15:18:00.004-07:00

Today, Steve Jobs announced the new Apple iPad. Pretty Sweet! Check it out on the Apple website.

Black Friday 2009

2009-11-21T19:54:00.002-07:00

David Caruso Acting Lessons

2009-09-26T14:28:00.004-06:00

David Caruso plays the ultimate good guy Horatio "H" Caine on CSI:Miami. His total devotion to catching the bad guy and his unwavering loyalty to truth, justice, and the American way teaches us that we can be more as long as we have a pair of sunglasses.

Then don't forget to catch CSI:Miami on CBS Monday nights (I don't watch it. Better things to do.) Below is a little snippet of what you're missing!

Get More Caruso action here!

United Airlines Customer Service

2009-09-03T19:35:00.004-06:00

This happened a while ago. A musician by the name of Dave Carroll was traveling with his band on United Airlines and they looked out the window after they boarded and saw that the baggage handlers were throwing around their guitars. Turns out that as a result of the carelessness of the handlers, Dave's Taylor Guitar was ruined.

After months of complaints to the airline and having the airline deny responsibility for their employee's actions, Dave Carroll decided to fight back with Social Media including YouTube.com. Dave wrote an original song titled, "United Breaks Guitars" and it's very catchy! It has just under 6 million views on YouTube.com. More recently than that, Dave wrote and released another song with the same subject. I think that they're both great and there are below for your viewing pleasure.

With the power of Social Media and word of "mouse", I have no doubt that United Airlines has suffered a lot of business. Much more than the amount that it would've taken for the airline company to fix or replace the guitar.

Here's the second song. (I don't know for sure, but it seems like this song came out after United started feeling the effects from the first song and tried to apologize.)

Great Times at Redfish lake

2009-08-31T16:04:00.001-06:00

Happy Thirtieth: Post #100

2009-08-14T10:56:00.004-06:00

DEAR DIARY HAS HIT TWO MILESTONES TODAY!!

This is the one hundredth post on Dear Diary, but it's only really getting started. There's a lot more to come!

The other milestone that I want to briefly touch on is the 30th Anniversary of the birth of the guy in the image above. Don't let that cute face fool you. That guy is way too mature for his age. Any other birthday wouldn't be as big of a milestone as the 30th. Moving from the 20's into the 30's requires a certain celebration of personalized tastes and creative thinking. The next celebration of this magnitude will probably be when I turn eleventy. Even if I only invite half of the Shire, I'm sure that the rest of the Half-lings will come anyway.

I want to send up a very special thanks to those responsible for such a great Birthday present pictured in the image above. You know who you are! So thanks! K, T, & D (Z & J also) You guys are the best! This awesome gift was originally inspired by Megan's blog post that you can read here.

The Storm

2009-08-06T12:19:00.003-06:00

Click here to see the larger image.

The Storm. That's the name of this photo shoot at 1:30 in the morning. This was one of the best shots that I took but I have some others that I will post soon. This was my first Lightning Photo Shoot.

Ode to Hasselhoff

2009-07-23T20:56:00.000-06:00

Found this little gem for your viewing pleasure from America's Got Talent. Enjoy!

California in Crisis

2009-07-23T00:10:00.005-06:00

California's beloved Govenor Arnold Schwarzenegger explains to the NBC TODAY Show about how California will be able to make severe budget cuts.

My Proposal: My proposal is solely based on the reports of this single news source above.

Why doesn't California have a statewide bake sale or better yet, a fundraiser! Certainly, state employees can go around selling magazines or giant sized candy bars door-to-door. The Govenator doesn't really explain how the whole "Full Circle" concept will work if money is taken away from the city governments then how do they get it back.

But wait, it doesn't stop there. Celebrities living in California could certainly contribute. Maybe they can sell some of their stuff at auction to star-crazed fans or the paparazzi. Then the proceeds can go to helping out the state government in which they live.

I think that the most alarming budget cut would be the prison systems. Just because the Californian government has issues keeping track of their money doesn't mean that criminals that have been put away should be released. So we'll see what happens in the near future.

Govenor Schwarzenegger describes the process of budget cutting in front of the press in this video link. Definitely worth watching. Kinda makes me wondering which direction the wheels are spinning in that big noggin of his while he is trying to describe what he will do. Also, he tries to crack a few jokes!

Alternate Ending to The Empire Strikes Back

2009-07-22T23:31:00.003-06:00

A furious light sabre duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER toward the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: "Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father."

Luke: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

Darth Vader: "No! I am your father!"

Luke: "No, it's not true! It's impossible."

Darth Vader: "Search your feelings; you know it to be true."

Luke: "NO!"

Darth Vader: "Yes, it is true and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?"

Luke: "Threepio?"

Darth Vader: "Yes, Threepio, I built him when I was seven years old."

Luke: "No."

Darth Vader: "Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp."

Luke: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

Darth Vader: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!"

Luke: "Well, it's not my fault."

Darth Vader: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith .. waahhh wahhh!'"

Luke: "Shut up."

Darth Vader: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!"

Luke: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!"

Darth Vader: "Oh, for the love of the Emperor, 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.

Darth Vader: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine."

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: "And get a haircut!"

Make the comparison!

Zombie Apocalypse Q & A

2009-07-15T21:36:00.003-06:00

This one is for you Paul! Alison and Meg might appreciate it just for the fact that they overhear our occasional conversations on the matter! I stumbled across this blog entry and I found it very true to the nature of the imminent Zombie Apocalypse. View the Q & A below.

credit where it's due: http://survivingtheworld.net/Recitation17.html

It's Official.

2009-07-13T20:45:00.000-06:00

Strictly by popular vote, it is decided that PJ's 2006 Black Nissan Murano is officially an Autobot Transformer.

View the original post here.

Anybody demand a recount? Okay... just checking.

Alright that was fun! Now onto more important business...

Save Captain EO!

2009-07-09T22:45:00.002-06:00

In the wake of the tragic death of Michael Jackson, there are many individuals that are demanding that Disney Parks bring back Captain EO!

Sign the Petition now!

For obvious reasons, these individuals including myself have signed an online petition to bring back Captain EO. I have only ever seen Captain EO at the Disneyland Resort in Tomorrowland. Currently, the 3D theater that had once shown this iconic 3D film, now plays host to a lesser 3D movie "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience". Which was somewhat of a dissapointment.

Michael Jackson - Captain EO (Full)
by R33f

Modern Vintage Transformers Posters

2009-07-09T10:46:00.000-06:00

Soundwave

Megatron

Starscream

Bumblebee

And, of course, Optimus Prime

These vintage-looking posters were created by illustrator Tom Whalen. I think that they were created for a Transformers Fan Club. Obviously, not a Club around here. But nonetheless, I feel that these illustrations are cool enough to make their way onto Dear Diary. Thanks for visiting!

Eastern European Album Covers from the 70's

2009-07-08T10:30:00.002-06:00

Meg's Teammate (What's he pointing at?)

Brian's Teammate (Live over there long enough and you might start wearing suits like this, perhaps.)

Alison's Teammate (Lookout Paul! You've got some competition!)

Staci's Teammate (I'm pretty sure that this guy played a major part to inspire the movie "Space Camp") Nice!

Q's Teammate (This guy was voted "Most Likely to dress up like an out-of-work magician" in high school... That is, of course, if he even went to high school. Gypsy King, perhaps?)

Meg's Other Teammate ( I'm pretty sure that she was at one point going out with "Jeremija" who is your other teammate.)

Paul's Teammate (I saved the best for last, me thinks. Gotta love those Eastern Europeaners! I wonder how many albums she sold.)

Happy Plane

2009-07-07T12:36:00.000-06:00

Definitely a Transformer! Most likely a Decepticon!

Autobot or Decepticon! You Decide 2009

2009-07-06T21:45:00.005-06:00

"I can't believe your guardians have been able to set aside their blood feuds long enough to fall in love! It's like some Romeo & Juliet story but with more explosions and no misunderstandings that result in suicide. Lame. I was wondering if you could tell me how to find out where my new car's allegiance lies? -PJ"

Is the Johnson's new car an Autobot or Decepticon? (2006 black Nissan Murano) Cast your vote in the comments or in the sidebar. Voting will go until the 11th of July. I will post the results one week from today.

Autobots vs. Decepticons

2009-07-03T10:30:00.007-06:00

In honor of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I have decided to reveal real transformers living right here among us. There are several vehicles that appear to look like Transformers but do not be deceived, they are actually just vehicles. What I am about to show you has been classified above top secret. I risk everything just by revealing the following information.

For several years, there have been a few Transformers both Autobots and Decepticons that have found themselves in the service of Meg and I.

_______________________________
Meet Dalila

Affiliation: Autobots
Notable Relative: Bumblebee

Dalila has been with Meg since 2000. Details are not clear on why Dalila chose to be Meg's guardian but we are happy to have her with us. She will still leave occasionally to rendezvous with Optimus Prime and the other Autobots.

_______________________________
Meet Samson

Affiliation: Decepticons (Originally)

Samson defected from the service of the Decepticons and as a result was hunted for a few years by Starscream and Soundwave. He found refuge with the Autobots and has shared invaluable details about Megatron's endgame to enslave and destroy the human race here on Earth. Optimus Prime officially accepted Samson's defection to the side of the Autobots in 2007. Optimus, fearing for the safety of Samson as an asset with powerful information, sent him to us to be watched over by Dalila and Rizzo (see below).

_______________________________
Meet Rizzo

Affiliation: Autobots
Notable Relative: Soundwave (distant cousins)

Rizzo came to Earth with Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Jazz, Ironhide, and Ratchet. Rizzo was not included in the historical documents recorded by Michael Bay and Dreamworks. However, she did play an important part in the recovery of the Allspark that to this day remains classified information that only top government officials have access to. Often found on reconesciene missions with Samson to find Energon cubes here on Earth.

_______________________________
Meet Blade

Affiliation: Decepticon
Notable Relative: Scorponok

A really nasty piece of work. Although small, he tears up anything in it's path. If you see Blade, DO NOT APPROACH! Slowly back away and start heading in the opposite direction. Although, Blade is still a Decepticon, it is rumored that growing up on Cybertron, before it was destroyed, Blade really had the "hots" for an Autobot named Rizzo (see above). Blade followed Rizzo to Earth to prove his love for her. Blade is on inactive status with the Decepticons and still sends a Christmas card every year to Megatron and Starscream to keep up appearances. Blade is permitted to stay close to Rizzo under close supervision and has agreed to have his communications with Decepticons monitored by Samson so as to not reveal sensitive information relating to the Autobots.

_______________________________

Thanks Brian and Q for the decals. Circa Christmas '08. I have included the following for your viewing pleasure.