During one party, a Balinese tour guide led a large group of Danish tourists into the kampung, stumbled across one of our parties and invited himself and his tour group. I was somewhat taken aback to be one of the exotic “others” that was being photographed and videotaped, but my wife thought it was great and led the group up to a favored spot in the festivities so they could see everything and get first grabs at the food.

These days we just have family which gives us quite enough participants considering the size of the family here. This was the first party without Mercedes and Rebecca – I know Mercedes missed it, I’m not sure about Rebecca. She’s as tight-lipped as usual about her activities in Denpasar. So Sam turned 16 and with the end of the school year just weeks away that means that he too will be gone in just a few years. As it is, having Rebecca gone has made the house seem a lot quieter.

Indonesian families have traditionally been quite large; during former president Suharto’s New Order regime, the government aggressively promoted their dua anak cukup (two children are enough) program of family planning. That did bring down the birth rate in the country, but still it’s quite common to see families with three or more kids. In a country with no social security program or safety net for old age, kids still are the retirement program for the poor and working class. Children still believe that it’s their responsibility to care for their parents in their old age. But with salaries the way they are in Indonesia even for even professionals, there’s only so much that kids can give back to their parents.

Some elderly folks will move in with their children, or if the parents have enough space, one or more of the kids will move back home. The parents get some support – financial and emotional – and the kdis get babysitters. For other less fortunate parents, they receive at least one visit a year at Idul Fitri time when everyone around the country does the pulang kampung (going back to the village) routine and the roads, trains, planes and buses are a mass of moving humanity. During these times, the children who have left home bring back presents to their parents and any other family members still back in the kampung. I frequently have people my age proudly tell me that their child has this or that job and that they just sent them some money or gave them a TV when they last visited home.

So, I’m getting to that stage in life now. My first child from another wife lives in the States, my eldest daughter here is away at nursing school and has no intentions of coming back to live at home, my second daughter is hoping to get into the university down south and most likely will never end up living in the kampung either, now Sam is getting close to the age of leaving home while Meredith still has at least another five years with us.

I spent some time last night sitting on the roof, after everyone had gone home, pondering the nature of the Indonesian family, how we fit into that cultural model and what the future will bring. Our kids have been brought up in a mixed home with cultural elements from both the US and Indonesia. It will be interesting how these play out over the coming years.

I’ve been interested in marriage and the family from my early days as an undergraduate major in anthropology. In fact, it was Margaret Mead’s work that first fueled my interest in the field of anthropology and in studies of marriage, family and sex. My rather hastily written Master’s Degree thesis was on marriage and the family in the Caribbean. While not particularly well-written, the research was solid, and I wish that I had access to my section on the definitions of marriage.

An Islamic Marriage in Singaraja Bali

Marriage is a relationship established between a woman and one or more other persons, which provides that a child born to the woman under circumstances not prohibited by the rules of the relationship, is accorded full birth-status rights common to normal members of his society or social stratum.

While this definition has been criticized by a number of anthropologists, it is still, after over half a century one of the regularly quoted anthropological definitions of marriage. A few examples of marriage other than the Nayar that run counter to the monogamous male-female definition of marriage are: the Na of China, the Sherpa, Toda and Pahari of India, the Irigwe of Nigeria, the Lele from the western Congo, the Bari and Yanomama of South America, the Shoshoni of the past, the original Mormons (pre-Mitt Romney) the polygamy of present-era Muslims, Chinese ghost marriages and on and on. The main point being that to claim that monogamous male-female marriage is the only “natural” form of marriage is patently absurd.

A few years ago, Glenn Stanton, director of global family formation studies of Focus on the Family, announced that anthropologists showed a “clear consensus” about the definition of a family as a male-female union. The American Anthropological Association stance, however, based on a statement made in 2004 is that:

The results of more than a century of anthropological research on households, kinship relationships, and families, across cultures and through time, provide no support whatsoever for the view that either civilization or viable social orders depend upon marriage as an exclusively heterosexual institution. Rather, anthropological research supports the conclusion that a vast array of family types, including families built upon same-sex partnerships, can contribute to stable and humane societies.

There are many issues involved in the increasingly heated battle over same-sex marriage in the United States: morality, religion, economics and child-raising are some of the main ones. But, as I continue to follow this debate, a few things stand out to an American watching from far away and those are fear, ignorance and prejudice. President Obama’s bold statement should lend some support and comfort to those people fighting for the rights of gay and lesbian couples. The United States needs to join the list of countries that allow same-sex marriage: Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa and Sweden.

First, there’s an important distinction to be made when discussing educational videos. There are videos of university classes that are available for downloading or viewing online; these aren’t interactive and the non-enrolled student, or the independent learner as I’m going to call people like me, doesn’t get any kind of credit or a certificate or any other type of recognition for following these lectures. Of course, you don’t do any homework, write any essays or take any finals.

The idea is learning for the sake of learning. I’m thinking here about courses like Amy Hungerford’s Yale University Engl 291 course on the American Novel Since 1945. I love the course, and over the past six months or so, I’ve followed about half of the lectures. Or, the Stanford University Human Behavioral Biology course by Robert Sapolsky that I am also following. Another site that offers free downloadable university lectures, animations, lecture notes and online tests is LearnersTV. All of these are sites offer great academic courses and are a joy for the independent learner, but there’s something lacking here unless the IL is really motivated and that’s interaction. I love listening to these lectures, but who do I discuss them with when I’m tingling with motivation and ideas? Well, I can write about them on any one of my blogs, but that’s still not very interactive. So, good stuff but something is lacking.

One more site that offers free instructional vides and DIY projects is 5min Life Videopedia. Most of these videos are not academic, but are great for learning how to do things like installing RAM in your notebook, making strange little arts and crafts, traveling to India and more.

And then there are the online university courses such as Udacity, edX and Coursera that I wrote about on The International Teacher and that award certificates to learners who complete the courses.

So there are lots of options for those of us who are living the retired life be in the tropics or anywhere else in the world with good internet connections.

So, yesterday I took it out for the first time along with my snorkeling gear, a fishing pole and my new waterproof digital camera. I’m probably one of the worst fishermen in the world. I lived on the Klamath River when I was doing my anthropological fieldwork and managed never to catch a fish on a river that provided an abundant living for thousands of years for the American Indian tribes that lived in the area. When I moved to Kampung Bugis, right on the Bali Sea, I thought that I would try fishing again.

I have caught a few fish over the years, but more often than not, I come back in empty much to the amusement of my family and neighbors. But, for me, fishing is just an excuse for getting the boat out on the water; rowing around for some exercise; taking a few photos of the kampung, sea and mountains in the background,and doing a little snorkeling. But, what I enjoy most about fishing is that I can sit back in the boat, have a few cigarettes, listen to the sounds of kampung life that drift out across the water and meditate about life. Out on the sea, Bali takes on a lovely glow and the troubles of this sometimes confusing and out-of-balance world just melt away in the glow of the tropical sun. If I catch a fish or two, well that’s just a happy bonus.

Here I am in Kampung Bugis over a half century later re-enacting those same actions (well, no storm windows or screens, but plenty of dust, grime and mold), as well as some more 21st century ones like cleaning out old files on the computers, burning home movies onto disks for storage and such. But, for me, this spring cleaning is not just about sprucing up the house; I’m working on cleaning up the mental and intellectual cobwebs and building some new neural pathways. As I wrote in TechTalk yesterday, I’ve started my programming course with Udacity.

And, I’ve discovered more online learning resources that I’m beginning to tap. I read an article in the Huffington Post a few days ago titled, “Why Learning Leads to Happiness.” It notes that:

The benefits of learning and engagement are particularly important in promoting healthy aging. “Your mind is really like a muscle, and using it is a key” to lifelong mental health, Berkman says. There has been a surge in attention to mental exercise as a way of preventing Alzheimer’s disease, for example. While the link between such efforts and disease prevention has not been definitively established, most scientists believe there is a beneficial relationship between lifelong learning and staying socially active with mental well-being and happiness later in life. Older people who become isolated can lose the activities that trigger their minds to engage in enjoyable and stimulating activities.“

The benefits of learning and engagement are particularly important in promoting healthy aging. “Your mind is really like a muscle, and using it is a key” to lifelong mental health, Berkman says. There has been a surge in attention to mental exercise as a way of preventing Alzheimer’s disease, for example. While the link between such efforts and disease prevention has not been definitively established, most scientists believe there is a beneficial relationship between lifelong learning and staying socially active with mental well-being and happiness later in life. Older people who become isolated can lose the activities that trigger their minds to engage in enjoyable and stimulating activities.

I was listening to a wannabe Bali expat explain why he “had” to start one more restaurant in Bali (do we really need any more restaurants in Bali?) and couldn’t just retire here. The reason was essentially that retirement means death and giving up. Building a restaurant (and maybe building some villas (do we really need more villas in Bali?) is going to save him from a long and lonely retirement. All of which made me question whether he was able to get out of his traditional mindset and discover all the amazing (and free) opportunities that are available to people these days – retired, working, students, teachers and everyone else. He just didn’t get it.

So this spring, I’m engaged in some physical and mental spring cleaning. If you want to take advantage of some of the great educational resources available for free on the internet, stay tuned to this blog, as well as the TechTalk and The International Teacher blogs. Happy learning to all.

kampung bugis singaraja 2012

“Oh,” he sighed, “how can people really love and understand their country if they don’t know its history. And development is impossible if we don’t know what we’ve done wrong before. History is so important and yet no one cares anymore. I think it’s wonderful that you are translating a history of the kampung. Come see me when you’re finished and tell me what you’ve learned.”

Then, he proceeded to tell me a few stories about the history of other parts of the city. I was impressed. The kampung isn’t the place that I would expect to find lovers of history. I really do need to get out and talk to people more.

Kampung Bugis Buleleng today

The Bugis got on quite well in their new home and had an excellent relationship with the King of Buleleng because of their expertise in trade and military matters. The Bugis brought their religion Islam with them and the Raja helped with the construction of several mosques in the area. As the author of this study notes, Islam spread through the north of Bali through trade contacts and intermarriage with the Balinese, Javanese, Madurese and Chinese populations.

While the use of the Buginese language began to languish as the Bugis developed their trade and social relations with other ethnic groups, they did keep many of their other customs and cultural traits such as architecture (the stilt houses), dress, food, education and marriage. My wife noted that when she was a young girl, Kampung Bugis still had rumah panggung (houses built on stilts).

At first the Bugis continued to make a living fishing, but economic activity was eventually relegated to a part-time activity as their economic activities diversified into local trade, working as laborers and civil service positions. Kampung Bugis was destroyed twice in the early to mid 19th century. First in 1815 by an earthquake and resulting flooding, and the second time in 1846 when the Dutch burnt the kampung to the ground in retaliation for the Bugis helping the Balinese Raja against the Dutch.

Okay, quite interesting so far. Next post will be on some of the cultural characteristics of the Bugis as they settled in Kampung Bugis.

Bookcase shelves - before and after

We’ve tried a number of things to keep her out of the bookcases, but to no avail. So, I decided as part of my ongoing home repair mania, to build doors for the bookcases to keep her out. So that meant buying plywood, measuring, cutting, staining, varnishing and installing. Just about done now so all that’s left is to see how it works and what Ce-ce will do next.

Having a flat roof is wonderful for parties, afternoon drinks by myself or with friends, watching the stars or just gazing at the city lights. However, it does have one large drawback. It makes the bedroom extremely hot and it stays hot even with the air-conditioner running (it may be time to get a new one). I put up with this problem last year, but it has become irritating enough that I decided to take some serious action – I googled solutions to hot room problems caused by concrete roofs. Hah, it actually worked. I discovered that many people around the world have this problem, and there were many different solutions to the problem. My problem then became one of finding a solution that would be relatively inexpensive and doable here in Bali.

A new paint job for the roof