Cycle Jerk

Bike To Work Day 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Tue, 21 May 2013 18:59:00 +0000

I usually try and make it to the Bethesda pit stop but this year I made it to Silver Spring while taking my daughter to school.

We were running late and the guy with the camera caught me off guard so I did a good amount of blathering.

Meanwhile, three years earlier...

It's crazy to see how much my girl has grown. I think I must be doing ok in the father department if can watch her growth and development (as well as the graying of my facial hair) in the pro-bike culture movies she's... HOLY SHIT! Am I wearing the same god damned clothes!? Jesus.

As usual it was a great event not matter the pit stop. Props to the sponsors and everyone involved.

Awesome Is As Awesome Does.

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Fri, 10 May 2013 14:13:00 +0000

RIP - Jeff Hanneman

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Fri, 03 May 2013 14:32:00 +0000

Like biking, Slayer is one of those rare things in life that's just as much fun now as it was when I was a kid.

RIP - Jeff Hanneman

"Slayer is devastated to inform that their bandmate and brother, Jeff Hanneman, passed away at about 11AM this morning near his Southern California home. Hanneman was in an area hospital when he suffered liver failure. He is survived by his wife Kathy, his sister Kathy and his brothers Michael and Larry, and will be sorely missed. Our Brother Jeff Hanneman, May He Rest In Peace (1964 - 2013)"

God bless Slayer.

Mashing is FUNdamental: A Literary Alleycat this Saturday!

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Thu, 02 May 2013 18:44:00 +0000

Saturday, May 4th is DC’s Mashing is FUNdamental: A Literary Alleycat. An alleycat is a checkpoint race—you can take any route you like, but have to hit every checkpoint. Think urban scavenger hunt on bikes. This alleycat is unlike any other: it’s literary-themed. Half the checkpoints are libraries, where you have to check out a given book. The other half are challenges related to DC authors, such as yelling "Oh Captain, My Captain" from the top of the Smithsonian Portrait Gallery's steps (where Walt Whitman was once worked). The event’s manifest (alleycat-speak for “checkpoint list”) reads something like this:

• Anacostia—1800 Good Hope Rd, SW
o Any book on social science (call number starts with 3)
• Woodridge—1801 Hamlin St, NE
o Any book on religion (call number starts with 2)
• West End—1101 24th St, NW
o Any CD (call number starts with PHONO)
• Etc. (there’s 11 stops, totaling just over 20 mi when traveled most efficiently)

At the finish line/after party at Satellite Room, riders turn in their books and manifests to verify completion. We’ll award prizes to the fastest bikers, and raffle off additional prizes (we have over $1,000 in merchandise to give away). There’s a second, mellower manifest; comprised of stops relevant to DCPL (the Mellon Fountain, etc.) and DC literature (where Zora Neale Hurston lived, Katherine Graham, Langston Hughes, etc.). This is targeted towards riders who just want to cruise and see their city through an interesting new lens. Overall, the event is designed to civically engage riders more than the average bike race. Riders will learn something, and can mash it (alley-cat speak for “go really fast”) the entire way in hopes of glory at race’s-end.
And for all that the written word gives us, we wanna give back: all event proceeds go to 826DC (826dc.org), a nonprofit organization dedicated to working with students ages 6–18 in developing their creative and expository writing skills, and to working with teachers to inspire their students to write.

What: Mashing is Fundamental: A Literary Alleycat
When: Saturday, 5/4/13
Where: 7th St steps of the Portrait Gallery (604 7th St, NW; DC)
Registration: 1pm
Race start: 2pm
Afterparty: Satellite Room
Donation: $5, benefiting 826DC

Standing Room Only: A Bike Seat Show

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 14:11:00 +0000

A friend of mine has a piece in Standing Room Only at the Workhouse Arts Center. I support art and bike seats support me so this seems like a win.

Standing Room Only: A Bike Seat Show’ is an exhibit of customized bike seats which displayed from April 20-June 16, 2013 at the Workhouse Arts Center.

Standing Room Only: A Bike Seat Show’ is an painted bike seats on custom made stands.The show will be displayed from April 20 to June 16 of 2013 in the new Vulcan Community Arts Gallery in the Workhouse Arts Center. Twenty artists have been invited to participate mostly from the Washington D.C., Baltimore, and Richmond areas.

The expression ‘Standing Room Only’ means that there is only space at an event to stand because all chairs are occupied or none are available, playing into the dynamic of seating. Because of its use, the seat is seldom seen when riding, in this show it will become the focal point for the viewer. A saddle has limitless possibilities for transformation and yet is also easily accessible to the viewer and relatable to current popular culture.

Running Into Fatty Patty

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 20:10:00 +0000

Lately I've found myself running more and more. I signed up for the Xterra Seneca Creek10k to help me motivate. I've got two weeks to get my ass in gear. I ran 5.5 miles today and so far I can still walk. The run on the Georgetown Branch Trail went smoothly but was not without incident.

You see, I ran into Fatty Patty.

I stopped long enough to snap a shot. She was "large and in charge" as the box clearly stated so I didn't linger, nor did I count and verify the "3 Colossal Love Holes". I kicked Patty out of the trail and continued my run.

As the distance between Fatty Patty and I grew, my mind turned to Large Marge, and I wondered if there was any relation...

Avoiding The Commuting CrapFest

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 16:37:00 +0000

Just another reminder of how fortunate I am to be able to bike commute. There was a water main blowout where the Capital Crescent Trail crosses Connecticut Ave in Bethesda. Traffic was backed up for a bajillion miles as I sailed by.

Bike Projector

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 14:42:00 +0000

As far as things that are pretty cool, this idea has a striking similarity.

Jimi Hendrix: "People, Hell and Angels"

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 15:21:00 +0000

Holy ever lovin' crap.

Budweiser On Tap: A Beer Story

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 18:39:00 +0000

I threw this little gem together to honor the King of Beers and it's current legal troubles.

Apart from the gin and tonic I thought was sprite when I was 5, Budweiser was my first experience with alcohol. My parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, neighbors and almost every adult I came into contact with drank it. From saying "My B!" while taking sips from my Dad's can to earning a quarter every time I ran to the fridge to get my gramps a "cool one", Budweiser was an ever present in my early childhood. It was cool, all the men I looked up to drank it, it was my birthright... it tasted like piss.

Fast forward a decade.

At any given party, those with fake ID's would make the rounds collecting money for numerous cases of Bud. I would make the same request every time... "here's $10, keep the change and get me a six pack of Killian's Red or Rolling Rock, I beg of you". It was the early 90's. Of course they would pocket the change and return with a smile, "With that $10 I got your your own case of bud!" ...fuck... It was cheap, it meant your could drink all night, it's what everyone's parents drank... it was watery and it tasted like piss.

The next few decades were littered with as few Budweiser run ins as possible. When it couldn't be avoided there would always be some accompanying joke about the mystery behind why it was SO refreshing on a hot day or who kept pissing in my beer etc. The humor never helped and I sounded like an asshole.

I understand why everyone drank it when I was a boy. Most of the 4 other beers available tasted like piss too. In high school it was cheap, nobody had money, and it's what everyone's parents drank.

Today we're lucky to live in a brewing renaissance, there are literally blazillions of beers available to us. Beers that have been lovingly crafted by industrious beer loving people with tattoos, and beards full of moxy and gumption. People with resources and ingredients available that make brewing more art than chemistry.

I know, I'm a fuckin' snob.

I've got nothing against Budweiser lovers. I don't like olives but I love and respect people who do.

Bottom line is this, some shit bird decided to water down the watery beer you love and that ain't right. Maybe it's time you told that shit bird what's what and switched beers. There are plenty of other watery beers out there that are pure of heart.

Silver Cycles Sick Snow Tire Savings

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 16:55:00 +0000

I was at Silver Cycles (my favorite LBS) the other day picking up some brake pads for the LHT (yeah you know me) and had to do a double take at this pile of snow tires piled up at the front door.

A pair of 26" studded snow tires for $30 is one of the best deals I've seen in a while. No it's doesn't seem like it's going to snow ever again, but it will, and when it does these will be AWESOME... and you will be AWESOME because you got them for $15 each.

Friday, you magnificent bastard!

Apology Enhancers...

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Sat, 19 Jan 2013 15:38:00 +0000

ZING!

Trail Treasures

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 18:37:00 +0000

Most of the time it's tools or blinky lights, but today the Great Trail Cycle has gifted me with a Browning hunting knife.

If my theory is correct i'm about to loose something valuable.

Shit.

LHT Porn!

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Fri, 11 Jan 2013 15:42:00 +0000

A seemingly endless array of LHT photos scraped off of Flickr. Say goodbye to the next 15 minutes.

Stolen Peugeot In DC: Looking For The Owner

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 16:44:00 +0000

Was your Peugeot stolen last night? This beauty was found in a laying in a parking space at 11th and U. If it's yours and you can unlock it. Hit me up and I'll put you in touch with the good samaritan who's keeping it warm for you.

This reminds me of a photo I once took.

UPDATE: The owner has been found.

BingoStrong!

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 15:41:00 +0000

If you can't laugh at your heroes....

This will come in handy when Lance Armstrong talks to Oprah.

Via DC

Car Diaries: Justice Denied

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Sat, 05 Jan 2013 04:04:00 +0000

So I was feeling shitty and didn't bike in today, which is shitty. While driving in someone cut me off pretty bad. I had to slam on the brakes to avoid being side swiped. Dude didn't even give the customary "Sorry I'm an asshole" wave. As I neared my office the dude pulled into my office building and proceeded down to the parking garage, as did I. At this point I'm sure he's feeling pretty tense.

He parks...

I park...

We both get out of our cars at the same time and exchange a glance from across the lot. I'm loving this. Little did this guy know that when he cut someone off he would be riding the elevator with his victim not 2 minutes later! So we both start walking to the elevator and I start thinking of something witty to say. At that moment (which I believe was the single greatest moment of this mans life) one of his coworkers pulls up and starts a conversation, saving him from the elevator ride of ultimate shame.

There is no justice.

The Coolest Thing I've Seen All Year.

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:16:00 +0000

Phoenix-Fly - The Need 4 Speed - Mountain Trails from Phoenix Fly on Vimeo.

Industriousnesitude: Tyvek Toe Warmers

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 17:22:00 +0000

This is too good not to pass along. Via RANDONNEUREXTRA

I saw this and was all like

Check it out.

Happy Holidays - LHT Tree Lighting

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 18:05:00 +0000

Last week I finally got the family Christmas tree up. It was no small feat. Look for me in the evenings on the Capital Crescent Trail this holiday season.

If you see me, feel free to say "hi" or just yell "LEARN TO SPELL, ASSHOLE!!" so I know you're one of my readers.

Happy Holidays!

The Bikes Of Whole Foods

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 16:08:00 +0000

This big guy was hanging out yesterday. I dig the cockpit with the PAUL thumbies. My daughter was impressed by the extra plush rear deck pad. She is looking forward to when I get one for our bike. My other daughter just made farting sounds.

Gorgeous Failures In HD

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 15:19:00 +0000

Mind Spark 03 - The Crash Compilation on Pinkbike

The Bikes Of Whole Foods

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 15:42:00 +0000

Spotted this LHT(yeah you know me) and had a good conversation with the owner* who was happy with the balanced out ride with the front rack.

This iBert/Xtracycle combo was pretty pimp and made me feel like a douche for driving my daughter there. Had a nice talk with the owner** whose kneecap is proudly displayed below and her little cutie.

* Either Charles, Dennis, or Leroy
**Pretty sure it was Wendy?

Death Metal Girl, C'est Magnifique!

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 19:06:00 +0000

Mixed Meme Wednesday: Success Kid + Grumpy Cat

noreply@blogger.com (Cycle Jerk) — Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:03:00 +0000

Let's just say that my not so productive day is bearing fruit. I give you Success Cat.

as in...