First of all, this was taken at ten past ten in the evening, and this shot is directly from my iPhone, no brightening. I know I keep talking about how light it is outside, but wow! It was light outside. And so warm! The giant gaping hole in the earth you see is the result of the ever-present tram works. It is an even sadder sight in person. I hope the local government can salvage something from this whole debacle.

Tonight we really needed to get out of the house for something other than market trips and training runs, so we walked to Wannaburger. As I am avoiding nightshades to see if I have an allergy, that meant not only the usual lack of hamburger bun but also no ketchup (tomatoes) or mustard (paprika) or fries (potatoes). Mayonnaise is in, at least. I got my cheeseburger on a side salad, which I enjoyed with some yoghurt mint dressing after picking the tomatoes off.

Over dinner, we talked about this potential new allergy and how it will limit my diet even further. We discussed the mindset that I’m working very hard to cultivate, eschewing negativity and complaints in favour of a more positive mindset. It’s easy for me to backslide into self-pity and self-doubt, so I have to work pretty hard at this. I love food so much that my typical reaction to all of the health issues has been one of sadness and defeat. But that’s not working for me anymore, so I have to change how I see it.

Our walk took us past the Filmhouse, and instead of rushing back home we stopped in for a cup of tea and a mocha while perusing the latest film offerings and talking about what we wanted to see. On the way home, I felt very tuned into the city not only as our new address but as a place with its own identity and culture and history that I know maybe .001% of so far. I feel extremely lucky to be able to explore it as a long-term resident.

Day 181 of Project 365: One Week Ago, a photo by cygnoir on Flickr.

It is hard to believe that just a week ago FunkyPlaid and I were frantic over the sudden seizure that came over our dear Torgi (left). Since then, we have kept a close eye on him … too close, sometimes, as he wriggles free of my grasp with his version of an eyeroll, daintily-smacked lips.

I can’t help it. I catch myself believing that if we just hug and kiss him enough, our fondness for him will form a type of armour that nothing, not even the natural progression of age, can penetrate. It is this belief, seeped in Roman Catholicism and superstition, that permeated my childhood: if I am just good enough, no one I love will come to harm. I will not come to harm.

Adolescence was difficult for me, as it tore down this belief and shredded it. Bad things happened to people I loved and bad things happened to me, despite my behaviour. I was a smart child but so naive, dragging the remnants of belief from sinking ship to sinking ship. Sometimes I still do.

Sometimes I humour myself.

Day 180 of Project 365: Clematis, a photo by cygnoir on Flickr.

It was a strikingly sunny day in Edinburgh. The cats were in heaven, sprawled out all over the wooden floors in every patch of sunlight as the day progressed, and my training run turned positively sweltering once I got going. Once again, the park was covered in illegal barbecue grills and footballs. I tried very hard to focus on my intervals, but had some negative inner monologue that music couldn’t drown out. At least I got through without giving up, and week three of the nine-week training is complete.

On my way home, I stopped to snap this clematis on a neighbour’s fence. The daffodils and hyacinths are all gone, and the cherry blossoms too, but the clematis is thriving. Is summer on its way?

My friend Brian chose an excerpt from my post about leaving San Francisco for his entry in a calligraphy exhibit. He is stunningly talented, and I feel honoured.

Day 178 of Project 365: Links, a photo by cygnoir on Flickr.

Nothing earth-shattering to report today. Saturdays are my days off, so I woke up early and spent some time reading and knitting, then went for a nice training run. It was a brisk, cloudy day with brief sunny moments like this one on Bruntsfield Links, snapped during my post-run errands. The day finished up with my monthly team-trivia event and then homemade chicken fajitas whilst watching an episode of "The Wire" with FunkyPlaid. I’m properly sleepy so it’s time for bed.

Day 177 of Project 365: Stepgeek, a photo by cygnoir on Flickr.

My new Fitbit tracker arrived this week. I had hoarded enough rewards points to cash in for a gift card, which made it almost like a free toy.

So much of my life is wrapped up in seriousness and focus and deadlines that it is not only nice but necessary to have little frivolities like this one. I’m looking forward to taking it for a run tomorrow.

Day 176 of Project 365: Roasted, a photo by cygnoir on Flickr.

O, sweet potatoes. I could write a poem about you, I love you so much.

Pictured: curried sweet potatoes in front of a roasted chicken breast. All gone now!

Today I made the difficult decision to return to Facebook. Too many professional networking opportunities were passing me by because of my refusal to participate. I wish that weren’t the case, but I don’t want to hamstring my career because I haven’t been able to use the tool properly in the past. So here’s to a new era of my Facebook participation, one that focuses on connecting with people instead of becoming more introverted.

Today’s photo is a bit of a cheat, since it was taken a little after midnight, but I didn’t have the wherewithal to take a photo during Underword. So instead you have a self-portrait of me being so happy to be a part of such a great National Flash Fiction Day event, in the company of such accomplished writers and performers.

For my part, I read “The Kettle and I”, which was a difficult story to read because of its stilted rhythm and ridiculously depressing ending. Next time I will choose a different type of piece. But I got lots of great feedback from friends new and old, so I am not sad about it one bit, and looking forward to participating in future events.

At every reading I’ve ever done, there is a beautiful moment right after the nerve-wracking walk to the stage and adjustment of the mic, and right before I get lost in telling the story. During this moment, I am reminded of how much I love sharing what I write with other people. I wish I could bottle this moment so I could uncap it and shake a little out on myself every time I feel crappy about writing.

Day 174 of Project 365: Brain Storms, a photo by cygnoir on Flickr.

Earlier today, I heard some scuffling noises from FunkyPlaid’s study, and then FunkyPlaid shouting, "Torgi!" Sometimes when Torgi gets startled, he digs his claws in and jumps off FunkyPlaid’s lap, causing this type of reaction, so I didn’t think too much of it.

The scuffling noises continued, as did the shouting, and then the tone of the shouting changed. I have never heard that tone in FunkyPlaid’s voice before. In a second, I was in his study, where I saw him kneeling before Torgi, calling his name.

Torgi was having a seizure. I had seen this happen to animals and even a few people before, but FunkyPlaid hadn’t. Regardless, it was horrible to witness. I called the vet and they said to bring Torgi in as soon as we could. Once he stopped seizing, FunkyPlaid got the cat carrier assembled while I sat with Torgi, stroking him and talking softly to him. He stared vacantly for a while, just sitting in place, and then he … returned, it looked like.

I started to try and wipe the saliva from the corners of his mouth and he immediately got up and rubbed up against me. Then he heard FunkyPlaid’s voice and went to go find him. He seemed fairly normal when we got him into the carrier and to the vet. The vet says he is in good health, and didn’t see the need for blood work. While she was examining Torgi, he curled up on his side and snuggled FunkyPlaid’s arm.

We brought Torgi home and he hid under the chair for a few hours, bathing himself, then came out for dinner. He seems to be fully recovered, although he is a bit restless and less cuddly than usual right now. Bedtime is his favourite time because he loves to snuggle in between us like a person with his head on the pillow. I am looking so forward to that tonight that I might go to bed extra-early.

The vet informed us about seizures, and of course I’ve been doing my own research. This may be a one-off thing and mean nothing for his long-term health, or it may be something else. We just don’t know. We’re keeping a close eye on our sweet boy.

Day 173 of Project 365: Burritos, a photo by cygnoir on Flickr.

Sometimes we get a taste for Mission-style burritos. Well, FunkyPlaid does. I get a taste for gluten-free tacos. Illegal Jack’s doesn’t quite do them like we remember, but it is a close enough approximation to scratch that itch.

And yes, they serve haggis tacos, though I haven’t tried them yet. Next time!