Sila jawab soalan-soalan ini dalam Bahasa Melayu sahaja.

0. Apakah yang anda sedang lakukan 30 minit yang lalu?
tengah memerah sel sel kepala hotak aku untuk melukis carta database yang sungguh celaka ni.

1. 2 jam yang lalu?
melolong di dalam tandas sambil berak.

2. Anda suka
Terlalu banyak benda yang aku suka, tapi ada banyak benda juga yang aku benci.

3. Minggu lepas
Aku membaiki sebuah komputer antik yang berusia sebanyak 15 tahun. Menyampah betul, komputer lama sangat berat, setanding dengan berat seekor manusia.

4. Tiga lagu yang boleh anda dengar berulang-ulang kali
Kala Jengking - Always Somewhere
Hari Hijau - Geek Stink Breath
Kebun Buas - Truly Madly Deeply.

5. 3 binatang yang anda tak suka
Kucing - Aku benci kucing kerana perangai ia sebiji macam manusia. Kucing hanya akan melayan tuannya apabila ia mahu menjamu selera. Sebilangan besar manusia juga cuma akan mencari seseorang yang tertentu apabila mereka mahu sesuatu daripada mereka. Walaubagaimanapun, tidak boleh dinafikan lagi saya memang suka pada kucing manusia.

Serangga Raksasa - Sejak zaman kanak kanak lagi saya memang fobia kat serangga yang besar. Itu semua pasal abang sepupu saya kerana budak picisan itu pernah menyumbat seekor labah labah gergasi ke dalam seluar dalam saya.

Toyol Jadian asam Jawa- Saya betul betul meluat dengan toyol jadian cap muka botox yang sedang bertapak di Kajang. Orang yang berupa tempe memang tidak boleh dipercayai, apatah lagi dengan dakwaan dongengnya bahawa rumah agam yang dibina secara sulit itu tidak melebihi 4 juta ringgit. Nenek aku pun tak caya.

6. 5 fakta tentang anda
: Muka saya nampak macam budak baik tetapi perangai macam hantu siang.
: Saya dikatakan kurang bermoral kerana hampir gagal dalam ujian percubaan SPM Pendidikan Moral pada suatu ketika dahulu. Saya menjawab semua soalan dengan sejujur jujur nya, namun demikian jawapan saya tidak diterima kerana Pendidikan Moral Malaysia hanya mengalak pelajar pelajarnya untuk menipu.
: Saya lebih petah bertutur dalam bahasa melayu daripada bahasa inggeris tetapi saya lebih mahir dalam bahasa inggeris bertulis daripada bahasa melayu. Aneh tetapi benar.
: Proses pengemukan saya semakin menjadi jadi.
: Walaupun saya bercermin mata, saya tidak suka belajar. Kemalasan saya tiada tolok bandingannya. Kalau Sikap Malas dijadikan Sukan Olimpik, saya mampu meraih pingat emas yang pertama untuk kontinjen negara.

7. Tahun depan mungkin
… balik tongsan.

8. Saya tak reti
… melukis. Kehebatan saya dalam seni lukis setanding dengan budak tadika. Walaupun nama saya Vincent, namun nama keluarga saya bukan Van Gough.

9. Saya pandai
… berjenaka. Wanita mengandung harus berhati hati dengan seni jenaka saya. Air ketuban mereka akan bocor sekiranya mereka ketawa terbahak bahak tanpa kawalan. Saya juga pandai ketawa tak tentu pasal. Saya ketawa apabila semua orang ketawa, saya juga ketawa apabila mereka berhenti ketawa.

10. Kawan saya
… umpama abang kembar saya. Kami suka pada pasukan bola yang sama, kumpulan band yang sama, baju yang sama. Nasib baik kita tidak memiliki bini yang sama.

11. Saya ada
… misai

12. Saya seorang
… lelaki yang tidak begitu muda lagi.

13. Adik saya
- sudah berangkat ke syurga

14. Saya tak pernah bosan dengan (senaraikan 4)
: ahmoi ahmoi yang cun dan comel.
: Kelab Bola Sepak Man Utd.
: wang ringgit
: peranan biologi saya sebagai seekor spesis jantan di muka bumi ini.

15. Bilakah pertama kali anda bercinta?
- Hmmmm saya telah ‘berkahwin” olok olok dengan seorang anak gadis yang sebaya dengan saya pada usia 7 tahun. Bak petatah, Kalau hendak melentur buluh, biarlah dari rebungnya.

16. Perkara yang selalu orang tak percaya tentang anda
- Umur sebenar dan perangai jahat disebalik imej Nobita saya ini.

17. Saya rindu
- pada mendiang adik saya.

18. Saya tak sabar
- menyaksi perlawanan di antara Pasukan Persatuan Kenasepak Tempatan menentang Man Utd. Pasukan Kebangsaan Malaysia bukan pasukan yang ditubuhkan oleh FAM. Pasukan Kebangsaan Rasmi Malaysia terbahagi kepada 4 buah pasukan, iaitu Man Utd, Liverpool, Chelsea dan Arsenal. Kalau kamu tidak percaya sila tengok berapa para penyokong berjersi merah Man Utd yang akan membanjiri stadium Bukit Jalil pada hari Sabtu ini.

Lencana rasmi FAM yang pernah muncul dengan megah sekali dalam ESPN.

To make things spicier, we can also make a comparison chart between the ‘large wooden mansion’ of MB Tok Guru of Kelantan and the Balinese Palace of the ex MB of Selangor. Pretty much like comparing who has the biggest weeny among them all.

I am very certain the blokes from Gerakan will be more than happy to contribute their creative input to the show by featuring the ‘large’ bungalow that LGE just rented (the keyword is rent) in Penang. They must have thought it is hypocritical of LGE to rent a bungalow after he bragged to the public that he stayed in his papa’s house when he could have move into the official residence once he became the Certified Minister 16 months ago so it is the best time to run him down. But surely, it is nothing compared to Toyol’s Palace.

Khir’s new ‘Balinese-theme palace’ talk of the town

Andrew Ong
Jul 6, 09
3:54pm
Selangor opposition leader Dr Khir Toyo’s lavish new home in Shah Alam is now under scrutiny as the property is allegedly beyond his means, or any menteri besar who served for eight years.

DAP’s Sekinchan state assemblyperson Ng Suee Lim claimed that the 50,000 sq feet or 0.5 hectare property was constructed at an estimated cost of RM20 million while the land was bought at a price of RM3.8 million.

“He has a right to build a house of whatever size he wants. But as a former menteri besar, he has to explain how he funded the house,” said Ng, who took a large entourage of journalists to visit the property this morning.

The property is located in the secluded Jalan 1/7L in Section 7 of Shah Alam.

The homes of many wealthy elites, along with the official menteri besar’s residence, is located in this suburb.

Armed with documents from the Selangor Land and Mineral Office, Ng showed proof that Khir, 44, and his wife Zahrah Kechik, 44, jointly bought the land from Ditamas Sdn Bhd in 2007.

The documents showed that a director of Ditamas is one Shamsuddin Hayroni, who Ng claims is Khir’s buddy. He also said both are of Javanese descent.

Calling the property a “Balinese-style palace”, Ng said that building industry experts have estimated the construction and furnishing to cost about RM20 million.

“The frontage alone costs approximately RM290,000. The tiles you see are imported,” he said.

Size does matter

Ng further alleged that Khir’s property was far larger than the infamous 17-room bungalow built by the late Umno politician Zakaria Mat Deros who caused a controversy in 2006.

Referring to the recent asset declaration by current Selangor Menteri Besar Khalid Ibrahim, he said a menteri besar earns RM576,000 per annum and thus Khir would not have accumulated enough to foot the RM24 million bill.

Khir was a practising dentist before he rose up the ranks in Umno and became Selangor menteri besar in 2001 at the age of 33.

“He (as opposition leader) wants to monitor the current government, but he should also explain himself first in the name of transparency,” he said.

Ng said Khir should explain the source of his wealth before accusing the current state government of corruption, like harping on claims that Khalid had misappropriated state funds to buy 48 cows for his constituents.

To a question, Ng said he will not lodge a report with the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission because he has no faith in them to operate independently.

However, he said that it is up to the MACC to take action, failing which he would drop the matter and let the public judge the commission and Khir.

Allegations that Khir owned the palatial home first emerged during the run-up to the March Umno party elections, where he was running as a candidate for the Umno Youth wing chief.

A blog set up to attack Khir showed an aerial photograph of the property which showed several buildings in the large compound, complete with a swimming pool.

http://malaysiakini.com/news/107930

I am convinced Toyol is innocent. After all, he can still make shitloads of money from just fixing people’s teeth alone, on part time basis. Gotta put his dental knowledge into good use lah. Who cares if his palace is worth 24 million or 5 million? I am positive the construction of his Bali palace will mend ties with Indonesia, which has been pretty volatile lately.

Tour guide: Kuala Lumpur

United will embark on a 10-day pre-season tour of Asia in mid-July. Here’s a brief guide to the first of United’s four destinations in the Far East: Malaysia’s capital Kuala Lumpur…

Founded in the mid-nineteenth century, Kuala Lumpur is the youngest south-east Asian capital and the most economically successful after Singapore.

It’s still growing: building sites abound and the city is awash with stunning examples of modern architecture, not least the famous Petronas Towers and the recently opened Islamic Arts Museum.

Safe and sociable, KL is exciting in the day and buzzing with energy at night. And if you’re both a Red and a culture vulture, the city has enough monuments, galleries, markets and museums to keep you busy for at least a week.

http://www.manutd.com/default.sps?pagegid={08717BAA-DDEA-4D3E-9D36-81620D41AC8C}&newsid=6634317&page=1

Not sure which KL they meant, so I don’t really understand what they meant by “Safe”. But if they are comparing KL with Bagdhad (since another bright minister of ours is so fond at comparing our capital with Zimbabwe) then I can safely agree KL is much more safer than the land that was once part of ancient Babylon. At least we don’t have to worry about suicide bombers and flying shrapnels while walking in the KL streets. We only have to worry about robbers, snatch thieves, rapists, mat rempits and so on. Quite a minor problem if we were to compare it with truck bombs and constant carpet bombing (courtesy of the US air force). Gotta thank Mr Bush for his personal crusade in transforming Bagdhad into a thriving suicide bombing hub.

Upon reaching the shop, a fat looking shop assistant asked me what I wanted. Then he went on and told me new games do not released so soon and it usually takes 1 month to reach their shop.

I responded by saying it wasn’t my first time visiting that shop so I am very aware of the release pattern. In case you are wondering if he’s a newbie sales assistant, he’s not. He has been there for a long time. So I said the game should be released anytime soon. He asked me how do I know the release date and I told him I knew it from the internet.

Then he gave me the lansi look and ask me not to compare the release date from the internet. He was very adamant that he was right and I’m very wrong because he says I don’t work there, so of course he knows better than me. Pukimak betul. Then he asked me to come after a month or so. I was not satisfied with that kind of answer and I ignored him by returning to the shop again the next following day.

As expected, the game I wanted was already on the display shelve. Then I told the sales assistant “who says we need to wait a month for it? and I don’t even work here”. He apologized to me later on. Niamah, sometimes it felt like I am the one working there instead of him. If it wasn’t for his bodoh sombong attitude and treated me like a noob, I would have excuse his mistake because I know he has to deal with a lot of stocks every day.

Hindraf turns against DAP, plans to burn Guan Eng’s effigy
By Shannon Teoh
KUALA LUMPUR, June 29 - The Hindu Rights Action Force’s (Hindraf) is organising a nationwide protest in a final bid to force the DAP-led Penang government to save what they claim is the last Indian cultural heritage village on the island.

On Wednesday, the outlawed organisation, which was credited with delivering the bulk of Indian votes to Pakatan Rakyat (PR) in last year’s general elections, will mobilise its members to gather outside Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng’s office at Komtar.

They plan to burn an effigy of the DAP secretary-general.

Others will also protest the forced eviction and demolition of Kampung Buah Pala at DAP headquarters in Ipoh, Petaling Jaya and Seremban.

National coordinator S. Jayathas told The Malaysian Insider that the drastic action was warranted as the demolition would take place on Thursday and Hindraf needed to show its seriousness in the matter.

“If PR state governments can give land to Chinese and Malays, then why not Indians? If they cannot even solve this, then what is the different between Umno and DAP?” he said.

Hindraf supporters have in recent months expressed dissatisfaction at PR due to what is perceived as broken promises.

The bulk of Indian voters had supported the fledgling alliance in hopes that it would rectify the disenfranchisement felt by the Indian community.

A number of Hindraf members led by former Hindraf leader RS Thanenthiran have also formed the Malaysian Makkal Sakthi Party, a breakaway party that appears friendly towards Barisan Nasional.

Kampung Buah Pala, sits on a 2.6ha piece of prime land in the rapidly developing eastern Georgetown.

The current 300 villagers and their ancestors, mostly of Tamil origins, have been living in the village for nearly 200 years.

A few weeks ago, Hindraf founder P. Uthayakumar had called on Lim to use his powers as chief minister to save Kampung Buah Pala from developers as provided in Section 76 of the National Land Code.

He said that Lim could do so “with a stroke of the pen” and provide a different plot of land to the developers should it be unable to pay compensation.

The residents association have also offered to buy the land from the state government.

Malaysian Insider

Why didn’t they burn Koh Tsu Koon’s effigy back then? Oh wait, I almost forgot. Their agent in UMNO already did that on their behalf by tearing up his face errr I mean photo.

See how this mighty UMNO guy showed his rage against the ex CM by splitting his face into two pieces. Damn gagah, kan?

Now let’s see if PDRM will be swift enough to send thousands of armed personnel to provide DAP ‘free security’ like they did in Klang few weeks ago.

Jokes aside, I do hope the issue can be resolved amicably because we are talking about preserving the living cultural heritage of Tamil High Chaparral where no amount of money can buy to restore the kampung to its former glory if it is reduced to ashes.