Dysfunctional Parrot

inRETROSPECT: Tremors ( 1990 )

Dysfunctional Parrot — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 02:17:48 +0000

Cheesy, mid-budget movie that presents the monster of the month. And oh yeah…it’s AWESOME!!

inRETROSPECT: Clone Wars ( 2008 )

Dysfunctional Parrot — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 07:03:14 +0000

Clone Wars delivers big. On boredom. So prepare yourself for another ill-conceived adventure in a galaxy far, far away.

5 People You Meet When Going Back to School

Dysfunctional Parrot — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 23:22:55 +0000

Somehow through a series of unfortunate events I became a Systems Analyst. That means I occasionally go for upgrader courses to keep my skills sharp and to distract me from the futile career path I have chosen. But just [...]

EP34 – Testimony

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 18:41:15 +0000

After a long break the DP is back for a very special Podcast. Given that your infamous host is somewhat of a goof by any measure, “Testimony” won’t have you reaching for the Kleenex box by any means. Well, unless [...]

5 Ways Apple Destroyed Civilization

Dysfunctional Parrot — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:34:31 +0000

I love Apple, I really do. I own an Mac, a few iPods and even work with OS X at my job. Plus, the last person who asked me to do work on Windows is cut up into a dozen [...]

inRETROSPECT: Transformers the Movie ( 1986 )

Dysfunctional Parrot — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 04:31:09 +0000

Before the junkyard that was the Michael Bay movies, there was the original Transformers Movie in 1986. And to be fair it’s not that bad. But is it for kids? Not even remotely!

REVIEW: Planet Waves VARIGRIP

Dysfunctional Parrot — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 20:16:01 +0000

I’m not a guitar pro, but I do indeed impersonate one. I have a helluva lot of fun with my Stratocaster and make a point of practicing every morning bright and early, making slow and steady progress as the years [...]

5 Role Models that Prove Humanity Must Die

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:18:09 +0000

You can’t escape from them. In the grocery store they stare at you from the gossip rags. On TV they punch you in the retinas. And at work there’s always someone at the water cooler who thinks any one of [...]

REVIEW: What is SOMANABOLIC?

Dysfunctional Parrot — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 20:14:19 +0000

As fast as I crank out a fitness review something else comes along. And that something is Somanabolic, which has almost gone viral. What is it? Well allow me to once again put a bullet through the head of BS [...]

BOOK REVIEW: Becoming Batman

Dysfunctional Parrot — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:37:34 +0000

Growing up I was more into Superman due in no small part to the Richard Donner films. Batman was still personified as Adam West so the desire to run around in poor fitting spandex with Robin “the Boy Wonder” like [...]

inRETROSPECT: Return of the Jedi

Dysfunctional Parrot — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 15:02:52 +0000

Luke and the gang return for the final chapter in the Star Wars story that unfortunately also has more of Lucas monkeying with the storytelling. There’s sex offender slugs, light-saber shenanigans and a legion of Imperial soldiers humbled by abominable, [...]

Why YOU Should LIKE the NEW DP Facebook Page

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 02:30:11 +0000

Social media is a strange thing that I readily admit I do not entirely comprehend. On the one side I despise everything it represents: narcissism and reclusiveness. Yet I also understand that I am a narcissistic, reclusive person. In the [...]

5 Steps to Winning an Old Computer Game

Dysfunctional Parrot — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 16:43:02 +0000

The Bard’s Tale was a trilogy of games made in the 80′s that gained popularity on such technical powerhouses as the Commodore 64 and the Apple II. The gameplay is simple: Gain experience so that your characters can advance through [...]

P90X2 – The COMPLETE Review: Part 3 of 3

Dysfunctional Parrot — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 15:39:48 +0000

Post Activation Potentiation. Only words, but words that have struck terror into the hearts of men and women. If after these workouts you wake in the night crying for your momma, then perhaps you have begun to understand. [...]

P90X2 – The COMPLETE Review: Part 2 of 3

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 20:22:33 +0000

updated Dec 30 to include Bonus workouts. Continued from part 1 With the completion of Phase One set of disks, it’s time to move on to the next phase…strength. Phase 1: Foundation was able to lay the necessary building blocks [...]

P90X2 – The COMPLETE Review: Part 1 of 3

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 06:46:41 +0000

It’s the moment the internet has waited for. Finally, the COMPLETE review of the new P90X2 program is here. Gird your loins fair citizens. Now here’s the deal kids…you want an honest review of each workout. Not an “adver-torial” about [...]

inRETROSPECT: How the Grinch Stole Christmas ( 2000 )

Dysfunctional Parrot — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 05:47:27 +0000

And unforgivably horrible retelling of a children’s book based upon the sad life of a green-haired mutant overlooking a town of genetically altered freaks who taunt him every Christmas.

A Dysfunctional INSTANT Coffee Review

Dysfunctional Parrot — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:06:20 +0000

Truth be told I am not exactly a coffee expert. It’s just that I, like many of you, sometimes need a kickstart in the morning. Most days I don’t need liquid energy at all. But some days if the [...]

The Dysfunctional Christmas Tree: PART TWO

Dysfunctional Parrot — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 01:02:36 +0000

With a tree now in my possession, it was time to put it all together. The next phase in my plan required the following elements to be in place: reckless abandon Wife’s schedule to know when she’s going to be [...]

inRETROSPECT- The Black Hole ( 1979 )

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 03:43:35 +0000

All the ingredients are there for a true classic, but the Black Hole remains unable to shake the weight of stiff acting and an ending that makes absolutely no sense at all.

Truth in Advertising: SEA MONKEYS

Dysfunctional Parrot — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 23:02:13 +0000

Magical underwater kingdoms? Happy underwater families? Kids, grow up!!

The Dysfunctional Christmas Tree: PART ONE

Dysfunctional Parrot — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:22:41 +0000

Every year I seem to be getting more grumpy and cynical about Christmas. But I have a family that quite frankly, is ready to kill me in my sleep if I don’t ease up. Therefore, instead of spouting the evils of [...]

inRETROSPECT: BATMAN ( 1989 )

Dysfunctional Parrot — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 05:27:41 +0000

Take a billionaire, give him in a leather suit with less mobility than being encased in concrete, add Tim Burton and a soundtrack by Prince, and you have the biggest blockbuster of 1989. And oh yeah, it sucks.

5 Aggravating Things About Christmas

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 17:44:36 +0000

As sure as an approaching bowel movement after consuming a full bottle of Metamucil, Christmas too is soon to arrive. And while there is much fun, frolic and things to enjoy about the day, there are also a few things [...]

BOOK REVIEW: World War Z

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 18:26:34 +0000

Some think I enjoy zombie literature out of entertainment. Those people are fools. I am rather preparing myself for the inevitable feeding frenzy of the zombie apocalypse. Yet while I await the shuffling masses of the undead, Max Brooks [...]

Review: Killer Guitar Components – Brass Tremolo Block

Dysfunctional Parrot — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 18:21:08 +0000

Not being a high profile player ( or even low for that matter ), my axe is a humble Squier Deluxe Stratocaster. And I love it. When I tried it out in the store it was better than the [...]

inRETROSPECT: KICKBOXER ( 1989 )

Dysfunctional Parrot — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:03:26 +0000

Jean Claude Van Damme travels to the Dagobah System to find Yoda in the hopes he can be taught to defeat Tong Po with only three months training. Sounds reasonable. BLIP.tv REVIEWS to come… Batman ( 1989 ) Return of [...]

Palestinian “Offence” Budget Takes $200M Hit

Dysfunctional Parrot — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 15:54:34 +0000

During annual budget talks, the Palestinian Authority has decided to drop $200 Million from it’s Offence Budget. This means that they will be unable to purchase as many rockets, anti-aircraft missiles, and children’s illustrated copies of Mein Kampf. This of [...]

Why the Wall Street Protest is a Waste of Time

Dysfunctional Parrot — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 21:55:34 +0000

Pop Quiz…what are the protesters on Wall Street protesting? Maybe it’s corporate greed, corporate welfare, no jobs, not good enough jobs, not enough wealth redistribution, low wages, or cold pizza. And that’s really unfortunate, because what might have been [...]

5 Reasons Karate is Useless

Dysfunctional Parrot — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:27:44 +0000

Almost 15 years. That’s how much of my life was spent pursuing the perfect front kick. The perfect punch. Honor, loyalty, and everything that Mutant Turtles and Canadian Maple Syrup stood for. Shotokan-style Karate was my past-time that grew to [...]

October 21st Now False Prophet Day!

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 01:49:26 +0000

By krickey, if they can make a Wear A Kilt Day and Sysadmin Day, then I have an inspiration for the ultimate new special day. I know what you’re thinking…wearing a kilt on Sysadmin Day! What could be cooler than that? Well, technically nothing. [...]

Book of Mormon: Something Doesn’t FEEL Right…

Dysfunctional Parrot — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:11:26 +0000

Life as a Christian can be often spent defending your worldview against some of the craziest arguments. The recent antics of Harold Camping have only been the latest to keep the subject of false prophets alive at the water-cooler. [...]

October 21 – Lights! Camera! nothing.

Dysfunctional Parrot — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 00:17:37 +0000

Some might think I’m just picking on people with bad theology. For shame. You should ALL think that. Look, I respect differences in theological opinion. And truthfully, I’m sorry I’m such a cynical guy sometimes especially since I am a [...]

5 Reasons Apple Will Survive Without Steve

Dysfunctional Parrot — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 02:39:52 +0000

Naysayers are complete morons. And despite my hopes, Reddit can only contain so many of them before it springs a leak and they spill into the general population. Now that the initial shock is over, the hyena’s are finally coming [...]

Steve Jobs Dead. An Armchair Eulogy.

Dysfunctional Parrot — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 03:06:47 +0000

“Steve’s brilliance, passion and energy were the source of countless innovations that enrich and improve all of our lives. The world is immeasurably better because of Steve,” Apple statement to the press. Some things still come as a surprise even [...]