dad-eblog.com - Musings from a dedicated dad

Bring it on Old Man

RickPalmer — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 20:40:09 -0700

It's the day after Thanksgiving and I've just finished two meals worth of delicious left-overs for lunch and dinner. My wife and I played a game of Cadoo with our two daughters, which is the kids version of Cranium where you draw, sculpt, act, and guess your way to victory.

The last round of the game had me and Delaney battling for first place, with each of us having the most pieces on the board. My wife rolled Combo, which meant that whoever guessed the answer would get to place their piece along with my wife's - meaning that if either Laney or I got it then we would win the game.

I looked over at Laney and gave her an exaggerated evil eye. She glared right back at me and snarled "Bring it on Old Man!"

LOL - this was from the mouth of an 8-year old, and I couldn't help laughing my head off.

I won the game, but she came right back with "Oh yeah, well you're 39!"

I guess the high competition gene runs deep in this family (I know it's a big part of my personality), and I'll always remember how witty and funny she can be.

The Gravity Factor

RickPalmer — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 09:06:44 -0700

My wife and I went to Hawaii two weeks ago for our first vacation without the kids in 14 years. We had a great time snorkeling, sailing, shopping, eating, laying in the sun, and just plain relaxing. The only other time we've done something like this was on our honeymoon.

Towards the end of our trip I started journaling about all the things I wanted to improve upon when we returned. My list included a lot of the usual types of resolutions: workout every day, tackle several household projects that have been on my wife's honey-do list for years, take my kids out on daddy-dates, cook dinner once a week, spend more quality time with my wife, etc, etc.

These are all good things, but here I am a week away from our return to reality. I have not even stepped through the door of the gym, let alone planned a daddy-date or even flipped through a cooking magazine to find a recipe.

My great intentions met what I'll call The Gravity Factor full force Monday morning of last week. We got home from the airport late Sunday night and didn't get to bed until 2 in the morning, and then I had to get up for work 4 hours later and start the daily grind. It was a pressure-cooker week getting ready for a 2-day training seminar that I was teaching, that started on Tuesday, followed by preparation to teach the same training to a group of 20 partners in San Francisco this week (leaving tomorrow).

I ended up putting in close to 60 hours last week, and it wasn't until Saturday that I was finally able to spend any time with my family. Looking forward to the chance to finally start in on my goals and resolutions, I started the day by raking the lawn and then took the family out for breakfast (actually my daughter asked me if I'd take her out for breakfast and I suggested we bring the whole gang).

We got back and my wife decided I needed a firm reminder that the garage was still a mess, and wondered out loud (with a frustrated tone) if it would ever get it cleaned up (background: I've needed to do this for over 2 years, and so her frustration was warranted - but her timing sucked. It was extremely deflating for me to hear that right then, after the rough week at work, and after I was just starting to try and tackle my Super Daddy goals that I had been wanting to get to all week).

This is what I mean about The Gravity Factor.

We want to be better dads and do right by our families, and keep everything balanced. But it seems like whenever we so much as start to tackle our goals, we're hit head-on by a heavy workload, or our cars suddenly decide to break down, or the washing machine decides to start leaking, or our wives decide it's the perfect time to remind us of our history of failure, which completely knocks the wind out of us and makes us wonder whether it's even worth trying to improve (that may not be their intentions, but that's what it ends up feeling like on our end... well, mine anyway).

Can you relate?

I'm not going to give up, but this struggle is getting old. I also realized this time around that there are too many things I need to improve on, and that I just flat out don't have the ability to achieve them all. I may never be the kind of dad I want to be, or that my wife wants me to be.

Maybe that's the first step: realizing that you just can't do it all.

Soccer Season Has Officially Started

RickPalmer — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:17:47 -0600

Soccer practice started today for my oldest daughter (age 10), and my wife just informed me that we'll have soccer practices every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evening for our three kids combine. The Soccer Jamboree event will be at the end of August, and then games start every Saturday (meaning three games every Saturday in addition to the practices during the week).

YIKES!!

Fortunately the practices are all at the same school, with each child at a different field. So at least we won't have to cart them around to different locations.

My kids are totally pumped too! We already started practicing soccer kicking in the backyard after practice today with all three kids, and I was impressed with how much my kids had retained from last year's soccer training.

I'm really looking forward to the season too, even though it's going to be a hectic schedule. I won't be coaching at all this year, so I'll be able to sit back and cheer my kids on from the side lines. Talk about a great way to unwind from a long day at the office!

One of the other dads happens to be the same guy who sold me my road bike, and we're both planning to bring our training stands and bikes next Wednesday. Heck, it'll give us a solid hour of riding, which means I can stop working out early in the morning. It'll also give me a chance to get to know him better, and maybe learn something about him other than just our mutual interest in cycling.

I also ~~have my eye on~~ just bought a new zoom lens for my Nikon D50 DSLR camera (the Nikon 70-300mm f/4.5-5.6G ED-IF AF-S VR Zoom Nikkor Lens), which should help me capture some great shots of my kids in action. My folks gave us the camera last year as a much appreciated gift. It takes exceptional pictures, but the lens that came with it doesn't zoom in close enough when my kids are half way across the soccer field. This new zoom lens should take care of that nicely, and will be well worth the money when we look at the close-up photos years from now. I shopped around and found the cheapest deal at Amazon, which beat Costco's deal by $20 and includes free shipping.

The busy schedule should keep us scrambling through the end of October, and I'm looking forward to seeing our kids work hard and learn a great sport.

After that, it'll most likely be dance for the girls, and Karate for me and my 6-year-old son. I took American Free Style Karate for two years during college, and earned a blue belt in a dojo that requires 7 years of training to earn a black belt (compared to the numerous blackbelt mills that let students earn a black belt after only a year's worth of training). That was almost two decades ago though, and so it'll be interesting to see how well I do at it this time around.

One thing for sure: these are the times that parents live for, and the memories built during sports events are absolutely priceless.

Time Cop Dad

RickPalmer — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 06:15:36 -0600

I'm the self-designated Time Cop in our family - another way of saying I'm completely anal when it comes to getting places on time (or better yet early).

"Early In, Early Out" is my motto. I always like to arrive 5 or 10 minutes early to scope out the lay of the land, get comfortable with my surroundings, and build in margins for unexpected delays. This approach serves me extremely well at work where it comes across as good planning, but on the home front it's a little overbearing at times.

To make matters worse, I married someone who is completely the opposite. She likes to be 10 or 15 minutes late to almost everything (except her hair appointments of course), and we're always the last couple to leave the party or the church parking lot.

It's a lot of work to get anywhere on time with 3 kids. But instead of standing at the bottom of the stairs and calling out the time every few minutes (my usual routine), I'm starting to learn that a less stressful way to get the family places on time is to play a more active role in getting the kids ready to leave. I'm not good at doing the girl's hair, so I leave that to my wife, but I'm plenty capable of helping brush teeth, getting them dressed, putting the dog away, etc.

This may sound completely obvious to many of you, but for some reason it's taken me a long time to figure this one out... and I still haven't perfected the technique by any means.

I've also started to realize that being on time is not nearly as important as just being together. Getting to our destination a little late is often a good trade-off for getting there in good spirits - without the anxiety and stress of me continually barking at my kids and wife to get ready on time.

Pitbull Anxiety

RickPalmer — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 06:21:46 -0600

A house sold in our neighborhood several months ago, and the new neighbors have a full grown white pitbull with black spots. I met him up front and personal last week when he was roaming the sidewalk in front of our house where my kids were playing.

Trying to stay calm, I walked over and escorted my 6 year old son inside at about the same time as the owner came running over to catch his dog. I was pretty ticked, and told him "You can't let your dog out like that man!" He jokingly laughed it off and I followed up with "No dude, you CAN'T!"

That's when I heard my wife calling out "Honey..." in her warning tone, which is her clue to me that I'm being a jerk.

I couldn't help it though. I watch the news and hear of numerous pitbull attacks, where the dogs turn and attack with such intensity - and often don't let go until serious damage or death has been inflicted on their victim. Yes, I know other dogs attack people too, but they aren't nearly as lethal of a threat as pitbulls are, and I do not EVER want to see 160 pounds of pure muscle and teeth tearing into one of my kids!

Is it unreasonable for me to expect or hope that my kids could just safely play outside, without having to worry about a lethal threat turning into a fight for their lives?

I talked to the owner later and explained my concerns about his dog being loose, and found out that this was actually the second time that day. That was a week ago, and we just returned from a 4-day vacation only to discover the dog roaming in our front yard!

Clearly the owner is not taking enough precautions to keep their dog contained, or on a leash. I'm very concerned as it's summer vacation and my kids play outside a good part of the day (along with several other young children from families in nearby homes).

He claims that he's raised this dog since he was a baby, and that he's a good dog as long as you treat him well. Yeah, right... that's what all pitbull owners say. But the fact remains that even if a kid mistreats a dog, that doesn't justify the possibility of them losing their lives or becoming seriously injured. Kids are kids after all, and they don't always do the right thing, or even know what the right thing is.

Have you experienced pitbulls near your kids? How did you handle it?

I'll be checking on city ordinances today, and will be filing a complaint with the police every time I see that dog loose. There's no reason in my mind that we should have to live in fear.

Climbers and Dreamers

RickPalmer — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 04:59:02 -0600

Regan called me over yesterday to proudly show me how he could zoom across the monkey bars on our swing set, and then climb up through the last rung and over the roof of the connecting tree house. He was grinning from ear to ear, and it reminded me of how my brothers and I would climb pine trees in the back yard of our apartment complex at his age. We'd climb everything in site actually, even the backside of the concrete stairs leading up to our 2nd story apartment.

One time out of curiosity I stuck my head through the open stair steps and realized I was completely stuck. I hollered at my brother to get help, and my mom came running out to see me dangling underneath the stairs with my head stuck about midway up.

We must have given her literally hundreds of adrenaline rushes and numerous near-heart attacks in those days. There was never a dull moment when me and my brothers were playing together, and there's never a dull moment with my kids either!

Later that day my daughters invited me to their "restaurant", which was a lawn chair under the patio set in our backyard. They each took turns taking my order for dinner and dessert, and all the food was carefully made "with love times 4" (my favorite number).

For dessert they made me a delicious strawberry rhubarb pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. It was served on a cracked red frisbee, and the ingredients were a half-inch layer of mud and twigs with three overly-ripe cherries on top. Yep, nothin' but the good stuff for good ole' dad!

Kids have incredible imaginations! It's like they can instantly transport themselves into another world, where the sky's the limit to what can happen.

Why is that so hard for us grown-ups to do anymore, and when did we lose that ability?

Maybe it's the constant daily grind at work that continually forces us into a routine that's void of imagination or creativity. Maybe it's the constant struggle to stay on top of bills, let alone make your dreams come true.

Maybe it's just reality - one my kids will have to face one day soon enough... but there's no rush in my opinion. I'm glad they can just be kids, and I want that to last as long as it seemed to last for me growing up as well.

Babysitting Options For Dads

RickPalmer — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 22:34:55 -0600

My wife and I are fortunate to have grandparents fairly close by who adore our kids and are eager to help with babysitting. They do a great job and we trust them enough to be leaving our kids with them later this year while my wife and I head to Hawaii (our first real full-week vacation in 14 years - and without the kids too).

We also have a few gals from our church network of friends who we use occasionally. Recently we even received a letter of recommendation from the local YMCA, certifying that our next door neighbor's 13-year old daughter had passed their babysitter training and certification program. I was pretty impressed that she had taken the program and learned some valuable child care skills, including CPR and basic first aid.

This might be something worth looking into if your child is 13 years or older. It might also be a great way for them to earn some extra money over the summer months while school is out.

I know that not all of you have convenient babysitting options available however. I've spoken with several other dads (and moms) at work who don't have family in the area, or who don't know of any friends with children who are old enough to babysit.

One mom I talked with said she and her husband hadn't been on a kid-less date in SEVEN years! That's most likely on the far extreme, but it made me wonder what we would do if we were in their shoes.

Speaking of babysitting options, I recently found out about a national babysitting service called SitterCity. They're a babysitting match-making service with literally hundreds of thousands of sitters nationwide. They do full background checks with a four-step screening process for applicants. I was also impressed that SitterCity recently partnered with PETCO to provide babysitters who can also watch your pets - not a bad idea if you ask me, and it gives SitterCity even more credibility.

Dads, if you're reading this I'd love to hear from you. Would you be comfortable using a service like SitterCity to get a night out with your wife?

They seem trustworthy, and there's a link on their site where you can read ratings and testimonials from people who have used their services. Here's one that stood out to me:

I have lived in Fairfield County for two years and have been unable to find a babysitter. I learned of your site in Kiplinger's magazine. I logged in, posted a job and had eight replies within a day. I interviewed one candidate and hired her for a job that very day. She was great. My kids really liked her and my husband and I can have a life again! Thank you so much for a wonderful service.
-Catherine L., Trumbull, CT

Check out their web site when you get a chance; I'd like to know what you think.

And if you already have a trusted babysitting source, but it's been a while since you've planned a date with your wife, then consider this your wake up call!

Back To The Drawing Board

RickPalmer — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 05:36:34 -0600

Last night my wife showed me an excerpt that my daughter had written in her daily camp journal. It read "Sometimes my dad doesn't listen to important stuff. What should I do?"

OUCH - I feel like I've completely failed her in a very important area!

Day camp finished up about a week ago, and I wasn't aware they'd be encouraging the kids to write things in a journal - but I'm very glad they did, or I might not have known that I was missing the mark with her.

At work, I'm big on performance evaluations, and (not to toot my own horn) I usually receive good comments on a job well done. I've been a software developer for over 13 years, and I know how to excel in the workplace. But I clearly still have a ways to go on the home front.

Performance evaluations are hard to swallow when they reveal areas that need improvement; especially when they come from your child, who your poor performance has deeply hurt.

I've been reading story after story in Tim Russert's new book "Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons", about things father's did or said to their kids when they were even younger than my daughter. Each story is told in vivid recollection of their father's impact in their life at even that very young age. I too can distinctly remember certain childhood events as if they happened just yesterday.

Reading my daughter's journal entry was a real wake-up call for me. I hope I can improve my listening skills and discover what the "important things" are to her, so that she knows how much I truly care for her and love her. And I hope that those are the memories she'll hold onto; instead of the day she wrote a sad entry in her camp journal!

That's the thing that's so hard about failing as a father. It feels so permanently etched in time and in your child's memories.

Protecting Your Kids From Internet Threats

RickPalmer — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 08:19:56 -0600

My kids use the computer as much or more than any other electronic device in our house - including their Nintendos and Game Boys. They play games online, they do research for school projects, and it won't be long before they'll want to start blogging or visiting social networking sites that their friends have told them about.

As a parent, I want to be know and understand the dangers that are lurking on the Internet so that I can protect my kids. I want to pro-actively educate and train my kids to make wise decisions when they're on the web, and I also want software tools in place that will protect them when they make poor choices.

Internet security vendors like Symantec (makers of Norton Antivirus), McAfee, and Panda Software have already started gearing up for the challenges our kids will face on the Internet. Each of them has an entire section on their web sites dedicated to online family safety and protection.

Panda Software - Children and the Internet
Symantec (Norton) - Family Resource Center
McAfee - How to Protect Children Online

Here are some chilling statistics from Panda Software's child security web site:

1. 25 percent of five-year olds use the Internet.
2. In 2004 more children used the Internet than adults.
3. 44 percent of children have felt sexually harassed on the Internet.
4. 28 percent of minors visit pornographic web pages.

Children accessing pages with violent content: 38%
Children accessing pages with racist/xenophobic content: 16%
Children entering chat sessions about sex: 26%

5. 50% of children use the Internet alone.

Wow, this list really got my attention! It prompted me to start an all-out strategic battle to protect my kids from these dangers, while still letting them safely enjoy the games and resources that are available on the Internet.

Here are three important battle fronts that I am focusing on to meet this challenge, and the tools I'll be armed with along the way:

Education - helping my kids to understand the dangers they face online, and teaching them how to handle themselves safely online.
The websites I listed above provide some great information about how to safeguard your system to protect your kids from online threats. In particular, I liked the article titled Top 10 Ways to Protect Your Kids Online. It helps parents discuss topics like making sure kids understand basic rules for using social networking sites such as MySpace and blogs, and that it's imperative that your kids let you know if they arrange in-person meetings with people they meet online.

My two youngest kids are a little too young to discuss some of the dangers of Internet usage, but these tips will come in handy when talking about it with my oldest daughter. I think it will grow more and more important for my wife and I to teach our kids how to handle themselves safely online, and show them how to avoid the dangers and pitfalls found on the web.

Protection - making sure my kids are not exposed to inappropriate web sites, and are protected from hackers who might try to gain access to my system.

Last night I installed Panda Internet Security 2007 on both my home computers (the work station upstairs, and my wife's laptop that the kids play on downstairs). I chose it because it comes with a powerful Parental Control module that filters web site content and also protects against viruses, spyware, adware, malware, and even system hijack attempts.

In fact, while I was writing this article, my neighbor tried to hijack my high-speed wireless connection and Panda notified me of the attempt and blocked access to my network. It also showed me his IP address in case I wanted to take further action. That's the kind of realtime intruder protection that I want in place.

I compared Panda against Norton and McAfee with a crazy malware detection test (where I actually intentionally installed a malware program to see which of them would recognize and protect against it). The results of this test left me with a clear winner in Panda Internet Security 2007. Here's the article: Norton and McAfee Failed to Protect My System from Malware and Viruses

Here's a link for a Panda Internet Security 2007 $15 Discount Coupon and they offer a free trial download as well.
Monitoring - keeping an eye on the web sites my kids are visiting, the IM chats they're participating in, and the programs they're running.
Even with web site content filtering in place, I want the ability to monitor other types of Internet usage such as IM chats and email.

I started using a program called PC TattleTale Parental Control that takes screenshots of my system every few seconds, and then lets me view it in a video-like display whenever I want to check up on my kids online activities. It's a slick tool that also traps keyboard usage and lists all programs that were used on my system.

Here's a link to PC TattleTale's free trial download.

I feel a lot better now that I have a solid strategy in place for protecting my kids online, and some good tools to make the job easier.

What tools are you using for web site filtering or system activity monitoring?

Kids Brightened My Day This Morning

RickPalmer — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 16:05:31 -0600

This morning in the shower my 8-year-old daughter knocks on the shower door with a pack of multiplication flash cards in her hand. "Daddy, remember you said you'd help me with these today?"

We ran out of time last night during bedtime tuck-ins and I had promised her we'd do it today (although I wasn't planning on doing it first thing in the morning). But there she was begging me to do flash cards first thing in the morning, just like that lady on the Mervyn's commercials "OPEN, OPEN, OPEN".

Keep in mind that school has been out for two weeks now, and this was completely her own initiative. Her enthusiasm made me smile, and I just couldn't refuse cruising through a stack of flash cards after finishing my shower. She was so excited about the whole thing, and it really made me happy too!

But wait, there's more. Next, my 6-year-old son comes in as I'm ironing my work clothes and says "Dad, remember how we used to do that wrap up thing with the towel?"

"Oh, you mean 'Sack of Potatoes'?" I asked? "Go get a towel and we'll do Sack of Potatoes!"

'Sack of Potatoes' is where he puts his hands down to his side and I wrap him up with a towel. I hoist him up onto my shoulders like a sack of potatoes, toss him on the bed, and then yank hard on the end of the towel - lifting him off the bed a few inches and rolling him over a couple of times in mid air. My kids absolutely love this kind of torture!

I had a grin on my face the entire drive in to work this morning. Can you blame me?

Who is the Adult Here, Please?

RickPalmer — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 06:32:10 -0600

Yesterday was my birthday and in our house the birthday boy/girl gets to choose the day's activities. I chose a day trip to Cannon Beach on the Oregon Coast.

First we stopped at McDonald's for Egg McMuffins and Sausage McMuffins with egg (my favorite), and then headed out to the beach. The weather was a perfect 75 sunny degrees, and the water was actually warm in one particular stretch of coast line.

The beach wasn't very busy even though it was a weekend day, and we found a great spot in the sand to lay out a couple blankets. My wife took some pictures of the kids playing in the water, and I took them out into the surf so they could jump incoming waves.

After a while we all came back to the blankets to rest and drink some water. The kids started digging in the sand near the blanket, while my wife and I relaxed in the warm breeze and the sound of the crashing waves.

This picture perfect moment lasted for all of about 3 minutes. My daughter was upwind and decided to stand up and shake out her sandals, which sent about a half cup of sand right in my face. The other two kids started arguing and fighting over the sand toys, which escalated into a shouting match. In the span of about 15 seconds we went from dreamy bliss to complete chaos!

"Welcome to parenthood" I told myself, reminding myself that this is just normal family life with typical (though unacceptable) behavior for 6 to 10 year old kids. I wouldn't trade it for anything though!

Aside from the sand that I inhaled, it was shaping up to be an almost perfect day - until the very end on the way home, when I saw something I wish I hadn't.

We were about half way home when I started feeling very drowsy, so we pulled over to a gas station off Hwy 26 to get a drink of water from the cooler in the back of the truck. As I pulled over and got out of the truck, I heard another dad (probably drunk or high on something) completely losing his temper with his 5-year-old son, yelling and swearing up a storm at him.

He had reached down and grabbed his son's shoulders with both hands and was yelling "It's absolutely F***ing ridiculous that we have to stop every 30 minutes so you can go to the bathroom"! His wife finally convinced him to let the boy use the facilities, but the man continued to yell "Absolutely F***ing ridiculous!" a few more times while their 5-year-old scurried over to find the bathroom all by himself.

I still wonder what he would have done to that boy if we hadn't of pulled into the same parking lot just then. I made eye contact with the man at one point but didn't say anything to him - I've been in those kinds of situations before and I know he wasn't open to hearing any advice or judgment from me or anyone else. It would probably have escalated the situation even more if I had intervened, although I would definitely have jumped in if he started physically abusing his child.

As he yelled to his wife "I don't CARE if he's only 5 year's old!" I thought to myself - "you SHOULD care, you idiot!" After all, you're the parent... the adult... and it really DOES matter that the boy is only 5 year's old.

Sure, we've all been frustrated when our kids have to go to the bathroom for the 3rd time in the span of an hour (which always seems to happen right after leaving the restaurant, where there was a perfectly good restroom facility just waiting to be used... but no, they have to wait until everyone's packed into the car and we're back on the road)! Sure, that can be frustrating, along with getting sand in your face when they don't consider the affect of their actions, but it's NEVER an excuse for physical or verbal abuse.

We're responsible as parents and adults to take the higher road, exhibit patience, and often times to remind ourselves that the behavior is typical for their age. We're responsible to consider how our words and actions will make our kids feel about themselves too. Think how dejected that little boy must have felt to have his father speak and act like that towards him!

What do you think I should have done in this situation? Have you had a similar experience, and how did you handle it?

It's My Turn To Pick The Next Book

RickPalmer — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 07:44:56 -0600

For almost the last two years I've had coffee every Tuesday morning with a couple good friends of mine - other dads who each have 2 or 3 kids about the same age as mine. These guys really have it together in my opinion, and I've learn a lot from each of them about what it takes to be a "real man".

We've talked about raising kids, being better husbands, holding it together on the career front, and about every other topic you could imagine. Meeting with these guys is one of the highlights of my week!

We go through books together too. We've read Heaven by Randy Alcorn (who I went to church with through high school and college), A New Kind of Christian: A Tale of Two Friends on a Spiritual Journey by Brian McLaren (a very controversial book, which was the reason we chose it), and now it's my turn to pick our next book.

I heard Tim Kimmel speak at a marriage conference that my wife and I attended a few years ago through Family Matters, and I really liked his down-to-earth perspective on raising kids. His book titled "Grace Based Parenting" really challenged many of the guilt-based legalistic parenting habits I had picked up from my own childhood, and helped me get away from the "Helicopter Parent" mentality. You can read more about his book in my Recommended Reading section.

Tim recently published a book titled Raising Kids for True Greatness: Redefine Success for You and Your Child and it's going to be my recommendation for our next men's group book study. Here's the editorial review:

Sometimes greatness is measured by possessions or power and parents become preoccupied with raising "resume" and "pedigree" children. Yet true greatness is an internal evidence of attitudes and a heart known for humility, compassion, graciousness, and enthusiasm.

Author and speaker Dr. Tim Kimmel identifies the three most critical and life-changing decisions that will make the difference. According to Kimmel, preparing your children to determine what they will do (their mission), who they will do it with (their mate), and who they will do it for (their master) is the greatest gift you could give them.

Raising Kids for True Greatness will give parents a road map to guide their children toward rich lives of eternal value and significance.

What do you think guys? Would you be willing to make this the next book we read through together?

Your Kids Will Fall In Love With Webkinz

RickPalmer — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 12:25:28 -0600

Summer vacation has started, and parents across the nation are scrambling to find entertaining activities to occupy their children.

It won't be long though before all of the movies will have been watched, all the parks and swimming pools visited, and boredom will start to settle in. Not that our job as parents is to keep our kids entertained, but planning meaningful activities throughout the week definitely helps reduce the amount of sibling bickering and fighting.

After the small fortune that my kids made recently picking cherries and selling them on our sidewalk, they were eager to spend their hard-earned profits. My folks gave one of my kids a Webkinz toy for her birthday a few weeks ago, and so my son wanted one as well.

My kids have fallen in love with Webkinz. They frequently come up and tell me what they did with their pet online, what they learned, what they bought, what they taught their pet. It's as close to really owning a pet that I have seen yet.

I have never been more impressed with a toy as much as I am with Webkinz by Ganz (even more than Nintendogs). They're little stuffed animals that each come with a unique ID that can be entered on webkinz.com to create a personalized and secure pet management account.

Your child can give his pet a name and do all kinds of fun activities that will do more than just entertain. Ganz claims that more than 2 million units have been sold to retailers and 1 million users have registered on the Webkinz site, where kids can create lively domiciles for the virtual versions of their animal, shop for pet paraphernalia, and chat with fellow Webkinz owners.

I asked my kids what they liked to do the most with their Webkinz, and here's what they said:

"I like to dress my pet."

"I like to play games with my pet, and she tells me when he gets tired and yawns so I know to let her rest for a while."

"I like to play games with my pet and win money and cool stuff for my pet's room."

As a dad, I love the interactivity they built into these pets, and the fun that they have with them online. But I also dig that they actually get tired after a while and you have to let them rest. That's like having a built-in timer feature, which helps ensure that your kids don't spend too much time in front of the computer screen.

I also like the online safety factor. The only way to communicate with another Webkinz owner, is if you already know someone with an account, which limits the prospect for interactions with new people. And more importantly, you're limited to pre-defined things that you can say to other Webkinz users. That way I don't have to worry about someone saying something inappropriate to my kids while they're playing online.

You'll probably find that Webkinz are already sold out at your local toy store, but you can still get them online. Amazon has a good selection of Webkinz, and they're also available at Jake's Dog House. In fact, here's a coupon for 15% off your Webkinz order from Jake's Dog House (just use code first15 during checkout).

Bruised Ribs Stuffed with Humble Pie

RickPalmer — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 15:00:18 -0600

Last weekend I had one of the best bicycle rides in my entire riding career (which started last October, 2006). It was a 45 mile ride in pouring down rain, but I didn't mind at all because I was able to keep up with the best rider in the group for most of the trip.

In fact, I was feeling so good about my riding improvements as I pedaled each mile away, that I started to get a little cocky and careless. The old saying "Pride goes before a fall" became a reality for me at the 42nd mile.

While waiting for a couple slower riders to catch up, I was circling in a holding pattern on a single-lane road. It was still pouring down rain and I didn't realize that my brakes were completely gone (rain acts like oil when it's running along a bike rim). I had built up a little too much speed as I made that last swooping turn and suddenly realized I was heading for the ditch.

I slammed on the brakes but they didn't slow me down at all, so I was forced to turn sharply. That's when I fell flat on my shoulder - and just as a car started approaching in that same lane! I was still clipped in to my racing pedals, so I had to flip myself and the bike over into the other lane to avoid being hit.

I landed harder than I realized, and felt sharp chest pain both Monday and Tuesday before finally hauling myself in to the doctor for X-rays. Fortunately there were no rib fractures, but they're definitely bruised and I'm home this week doped up on Percocet and Ibuprofen. My doctor said I'd need to rest for 2 weeks and avoid driving due to the sedatives she prescribed for the pain. Every breath I take is met with a sharp pain in my rib cage (probably from all the humble pie that's stuffed in there).

On the bright side, I'll have plenty of time this week to finish reading my new book "Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons" by Tim Russert. There have been some real gems already in the first half of the book, with some amazing stories of the impact that fathers have had in their son's and daughter's lives.

I've already noticed a change in the way I interact with my kids, because I'm starting to realize how important my words and actions are to them. Many of the stories that Tim published were written from grown-ups who remembered things their dads said and did to them as a child that forever changed their lives (in both good and bad ways).

I sure hope my kids will remember the positive experiences more than the negative ones, and I'm blown away at how fortunate I am to be their father!

Cherry Picking Entrepeneurs

RickPalmer — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 22:16:14 -0600

A traditional summer right of passage for many kids is the Lemon-aid stand, where kids get a taste of sales and marketing at an early age, and have fun making a few extra bucks along the way. It's something I think every family should encourage their kids to do at least once.

We put a spin on this tradition last summer while trying to figure out what to do with all the cherries that were growing on the huge cherry tree in our back yard. They were ripe and juicy Bing cherries, and were starting to fall off the branches and into the back yard.

On a whim we pulled a ladder over and picked a few buckets full, stuffed them in sandwich bags and sold about 30 bags for 50 cents each. That was a sweet deal - Bing cherries sell for about $4 per pound at the fruit stands, and those bags had to each have been at least a pound and a half. It didn't take long to blow through the bags, and the kids made about $15.

This year we planned ahead and started picking this morning at 8:30 a.m. We had two kids in ladders and me on the roof, and by 9:15 we had picked 8 buckets full of berries and started making signs for the neighborhood. We filled 40 bags about 3/4 full and decided to charge a dollar a bag this year.

By 9:30 we had signs up and by 10:00 they had already sold 13 bags and were grinning from ear to ear (and I was too). I picked a couple more buckets and by the time we called it quits at noon they had earned a grand total of $42 to split among the three kids!

Man were they pumped, and very excited to start dividing the money between the three of them. My wise and beautiful wife suggested that we give them half of their earnings and ask them to save the other half for their college funds.

At first I wasn't on board with the idea because it seemed like too small of an amount to be splitting in half, but she convinced me that it was important for the kids to learn the principle of saving part of what they earn. I'm glad I married this woman!

Today's adventure reminded me of the many entrepreneurial experiences my parents exposed me to as a child. My dad would let me use his lawnmower to mow lawns in our neighborhood. I made about $10 to $15 a lawn, and he paid for the gas. It was a great way to earn some extra money, and I started learning the value of hard work and good customer service at an early age.

We also used to drive a van and an 8-foot trailer over to Walldrug, South Dakota where we'd pick Ponderosa pine cones. My grandparents owned a greenhouse at the time, and they paid us a nickel a piece for the prickly cones (and helped us pick them too).

Picking pine cones wasn't all that much fun; it was hard work in the hot sun, but the parts I mainly remember are the stories that grandma would tell about grandpa's childhood. Like the time he was almost struck by a rattle snake out in the farm field because he couldn't hear very well, and didn't hear the snake's rattle until it was almost too late. I also remember camping in tents at a nearby KOA campground, and wrinkling my face at grandma's runny scrambled eggs.

Those are priceless memories that I'll cherish forever, especially now that my grandpa has passed away and my grandma suffers from Alzheimer's. It's the memories of the time we spent together that will stay with me forever.

If you have any kind of fruit-bearing plant in your yard, you're sitting on a gold mine of an opportunity to create some memories for your kids too. Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and even apples can be picked together and sold together. You'll build some great memories along the way, just like the ones I built this morning with my kids.

Speaking of memories, I started reading Tim Russert's recently published book titled "Wisdom of Our Fathers: Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons", and was impressed by a comment he made in the introduction:

When my life is over, I know that the most important thing I'll be judged on is what kind of father I was.

My wife gave it to me for Father's Day and I gave another copy to my dad for Father's Day also. We're both reading through it and I'm looking forward to the childhood memories it will remind me of as we read through it together!