I have been divorced for three years and the home my ex-wife is living in is still in both of our names.

How do I get my name off the mortgage? I want to buy a new home and do not need my name on this debt. 

Answer:

While I am not licensed to practice law in your state and am unable to give you legal advice, I can give you some general observations on this issue based on the jurisdiction where I practice.

Where I do practice in Virginia, the court will generally order a specific time period that the parties have to effectuate transfers of property. If the court does not order it, then you have to work with your ex-spouse to get them to refinance the home.

If the court ordered your ex-spouse to refinance the home and has she has failed to do so, she may be in contempt of court. So, it may be in your best interest to take her to court to force her to take your name off of the mortgage. However, sometimes it is not possible to refinance. In those cases, the Court will order that the home be sold.

Division of assets after divorce is very fact-specific and requires a specialized knowledge of local law. For these reasons I would suggest you contact an attorney who specializes in family law matters in your jurisdiction.

To arrange an initial consultation to discuss divorce rights for men with a Cordell & Cordell attorney, contact Cordell & Cordell.

The post How Do I Get My Name Off The Mortgage After Divorce? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

Even more perplexing is what to do with the marital home.

For many divorcing couples, the house, which was once their greatest financial asset, has become their biggest liability.

So couples are looking for financial advice on divorce and wondering what are the available options for dealing with the marital home?

1. Refinance

If one spouse moves out and wants off the deed, the other spouse is going to have to refinance the mortgage. Otherwise, if they keep the mortgage in both names and one of them stops paying, the other spouse is liable for the monthly mortgage payments and late charges.

So the reasonable option is refinancing, if one spouse plans on staying in the house. But with a mortgage underwater, can this even be done?

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2. Stay

The couple can stay in the house and live separate lives. This, of course, is the definition of insanity, but there are those couples who have successfully pulled it off.

The two estranged spouses continued to cohabitate until the house sold and put them in a better financial position for re-establishing themselves. But, this would be viewed as a worst-case scenario dilemma.

It must be reiterated if both spouses are on the mortgage, it’s probable that neither spouse will be able to get another mortgage until the house sells.

Another plus on the side of staying in the house is that if one spouse moves out and the spouse staying in the house quits making payments, the spouse not living in the house would still be responsible for the mortgage payments.

3. One Stays, One Leaves

The one spouse who stays in the house and continues making mortgage payments will get credit for the principal paid prior to the sale of the house. The spouse who moved out and rented will still get credit for half of the proceeds of the sale.

Of course frequent readers of DadsDivorce.com know you should not leave the marital home. This is one of the “10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce” as outlined in Cordell & Cordell founder Joseph Cordell’s book.

Moving from the marital home increases your monthly bills and leaves you in a powerless situation with regard to what occurs in the home and with any belongings you leave there.

4. Defer the Sale

A couple can also defer sale of the house until a specific date, in the hopes that home values will rise. Both parties will still be on the deed, but one spouse will move out. This will be part of the final court order.

Still, if the spouse staying in the house defaults on the mortgage payments, the other party will end up being responsible for them.

The spouse not residing in the co-owned property will be unable to get another mortgage unless he or she makes enough money to make payments on both loans in the event that the co-owned property goes into default.

This option is not the best one and carries with it a great deal of liability.

5. Rent

Another possible choice is for the couple to move out of the house, go their separate ways and rent out their co-owned property. As long as they can keep a responsible renter in the house, this scenario is a good one.

They can wait for property values to rise (in the hopes that it will still happen within the next few years) and sell when the economy picks up again. Of course, this can be risky considering that you have no proof that the economy is going to turn around.

Again, this scenario would probably prevent both spouses from obtaining a mortgage until the house eventually sold. Some lenders may extend a loan, but it will take some work to find them.

The homeowners are responsible for the loan payments, even if the renter defaults. An obvious downside to this alternative is finding financially responsible renters.

6. Sell

If your mortgage is under water, it’s highly unlikely that you will break even if you decide to sell the house. You may be able to upgrade the appearance and ambiance of your home and break even, but this result doesn’t happen very often.

If you are on the cusp and your mortgage is paid down enough to get out of the house relatively unscathed, you may want to consult with a couple of realtors to see what improvements can be done to raise the value of your home. You never know – you may get lucky.

7. Short Sale

A short sale is when an agreement is made with the lender to sell the house at a loss. This has less negative credit consequences than a foreclosure.

There are a few caveats to going the short-sale route.

First, your credit is going to be effected negatively when you undergo a short sale. It sounds better than a foreclosure, but it is negative nonetheless.

Also, the lender may come after you for the difference of what the house sold for and the amount of the original loan.

Usually the lender will try to get the homeowner to sign a promissory note for the difference between the amount the house sold for and the amount of the loan. This “deficiency judgment” is banned in certain states.

So lenders in those states are more liable to require a borrower to sign a promissory note prior to granting the short sale.

8. Walk Away

Sometimes foreclosure is the better of two less-than-desirable alternatives. In foreclosure, there is a “redemption period,” which is a period of time that the homeowner can remain in the property before the bank can evict him.

Depending on the state you live in, the redemption period is between a year and just a few days. The redemption period can help the couple save money before they are required by law to leave the house.

One party could move out and rent, while the other stays in the house during the redemption period. The party staying in the house could be court ordered to pay half of the exiting party’s rent until the house sells and both parties are renting or purchasing separate residences on their own.

The post Divorce Tips For Men: What To Do With The House? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

The following case study example is loosely based on the facts from a recently released Appellate Court decision in Nebraska.

The Facts

Jack and Jill decided to get divorced. They had two children. Jack had worked during the marriage and was the main income earner. Jill worked part-time but, for the most part, spent her time raising the children.

When they separated, they were able to work out the short-term financial details themselves. Jack would move out and the kids would stay with Jill in the marital home.

Jill would start working a bit more. Jack kept making the mortgage payment, but didn’t pay temporary child support or temporary alimony. Jill never asked the court for any temporary support. Jack and Jill agreed they would continue on like this until the house sold.

Eventually the case went to trial. At trial, Jill asked for spousal support (also known as alimony). She also asked for child support. At the time of trial, the marital home hadn’t been sold.

At trial, Jack asked the court to give him credit for all the marital home mortgage payments that he had been making from the time of separation until the trial. He asked that future alimony be reduced by the amount of mortgage payments he had previously made.

The Ruling

The court ruled that Jack would not be given credit for making the mortgage payments.

Jack and Jill had made an informal agreement. When the agreement was made there was no indication that Jack would stop making the mortgage payments at a specific time, other than when the house sold.

Furthermore, Jack did not pay any temporary child support or alimony and this was due, in part, because he was making the mortgage payment.

Parting Words

Jack wasn’t happy with the ruling, but maybe he shouldn’t have been all that upset. Remember, if Jack had been making court-ordered temporary child support and alimony payments, it very well could be that his court-ordered payments might have been more than the mortgage.

Your divorce attorney will almost never be able to tell you, with precision, what a trial judge will do. Your divorce lawyer can give you educated guesses, but in the end, it is important to remember that trial judges can, and do, make surprising rulings.

Before you enter into an “agreement” with the opposing party, discuss the terms thoroughly with your divorce attorney. Don’t forget to tell your lawyer all of your assumptions regarding the agreement.

Your divorce attorney should be asking you questions about the agreement, but it is your job as a client to fill in the blanks, as well. Communication with your divorce lawyer is essential.

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With inflation hitting record levels, this task is more daunting, and important, than ever.

Divorce is often very expensive. During a recent podcast, Cordell & Cordell attorneys discussed strategies you can utilize during your case to help limit overall costs. But once the dust settles, it is still going to be important to get your finances in order, especially if you are left with monthly child support payments. 

Many single parents have a tough enough time paying the bills and making ends meet. Court-ordered child support stretches your money even further.

If you find yourself stuck with payments you cannot afford, it is best to check with your divorce attorney to see if a child support modification is possible. It is common for financial circumstances to change after the child support order is issued, and if that is the case then it might be possible to lower the amount you are paying each month.

If a child support modification is not in the cards, then you may need to adjust your household budget to make child support more bearable. Here are some pointers that can help you organize your budget so you are not crushed by child support arrears.

List your fixed expenses

Write down your expenses that are consistent month to month. Fixed expenses typically include bills like your mortgage or rent, car and insurance payments, and utility bills.

Once you finish listing all your monthly fixed costs, you should search for expenses that you can eliminate. Maybe you don’t watch much TV and can do without cable

Reduce discretionary spending

After determining fixed expenses, you need to look at your variable costs. Come up with estimates that you spend each month on things like gas, groceries, entertainment, etc. These are areas where you might be able to save some money with some discipline.

For example, you can carpool to work or use coupons to cut down on your grocery bill. This is probably your best opportunity to cut your spending, so get creative and really think of ways you can reduce these costs.

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Create a budget you can stick to

Once you determine where all your money is going each month, create a monthly budget that includes your monthly child support payments. Before your month even begins, figure out where your money is going to go. Also factor in an amount for unplanned expenses such as car repairs, emergency health bills, and other odds and ends that invariably pop up.

Once you create a budget, stay disciplined and stick to it. Once you keep at it for a few months, it will start to get easier as this will become the lifestyle you are used to.

Find additional income

Unfortunately, even after trimming expenses and creating a monthly budget, many dads still find themselves with less money than they need to make their child support payments. In these instances, if you are unable to modify your child support order, it might be necessary to find additional sources of income.

If your schedule allows it, you might check into picking up a second job. Some fathers are just too busy to commit to a full-time second job, but there are opportunities within the “gig economy” to earn additional income. Websites like Fiverr provide an online marketplace for freelance services. You could also drive for a ridesharing service like Uber or Lyft. These services allow you to work whenever you want so you can keep your schedule open and earn additional money when you have some free time.

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In recent months, with inflation hitting record levels and many fearing a possible recession, those expenses have been even more painful. Recently, Cordell & Cordell hosted a virtual town hall to discuss the best way to approach divorce during times of economic instability when it seems you can least afford it. Fortunately, there are some fairly straightforward tips and strategies you can utilize during your case to limit the overall cost.

That said, divorce costs are still substantial in most cases, not to mention unpredictable, so it is crucial to include planning a realistic and responsible budget on your divorce checklist, as you are preparing for divorce. Knowing how much money you have, where it is coming from, and where it is going will allow you to better prioritize where you need to spend your money and how much you need to save.

Here are a few helpful pointers as you are planning for divorce that should help you budget responsibly and avoid divorce debt.

Protect your credit

If you are not careful, you can end up with an enormous amount of divorce debt and your credit score can take a huge hit.

To protect yourself, go through your credit report and make sure you separate and freeze joint accounts. Remove your ex-wife’s name from any non-joint accounts and if you have any joint loans, you should look into refinancing.

It also is worth asking your divorce attorney if you can include provisions in your settlement that protect your future credit. For example, if your wife is awarded the marital home in the division of property, a provision could be added requiring her to refinance the house within two years or else it must be sold.

A lot of guys would not know it was even possible to add such provisions to a divorce agreement, which is why it is important to get in touch with a divorce lawyer for men, so that you have someone in your corner who is committed to making sure your rights are protected in family court.

Hire a financial advisor

In addition to a divorce attorney for men, a lot of guys retain the services of a certified financial advisor during divorce to help sort out the different financial intricacies involved in the divorce process.

“From helping to determine the value of a business to forecasting future income potential, financial experts are a crucial professional to include on your divorce team,” said Cordell & Cordell Principal Partner Joe Cordell.

Financial advisors can help you prepare for a divorce at the beginning of the process. They can assist in structuring the divorce settlement in a tax-advantaged manner and guide you through the division of retirement benefits. After divorce, they can help you come up with a comprehensive estate plan, so you are financially prepared for the future.

It obviously costs money to hire a financial advisor, but like the decision to retain a divorce attorney, it should be considered an investment that can end up saving you money in the long run.

Cordell & Cordell understands the concerns men face during divorce.

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Spend responsibly

Perhaps the most important step to budgeting responsibly and avoiding divorce debt is the most obvious one. Live within your means.

Keep track of your income and fixed expenditures so you know what you can and cannot afford. Wait before making any major purchases, such as a new house or car, until you are sure you are financially stable for the foreseeable future.

If you need help staying organized, there are plenty of free online apps that can help you plan a budget that works for you.

Divorce costs can be substantial, but careful and disciplined planning and budgeting can help you offset those expenses and ensure that you regain control of your finances once your divorce is finalized.

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Nowadays, it appears that many people contemplating a divorce do so in a very similar fashion to those determining whether or not to buy or sell stock. With rising inflation and fears of a looming economic recession, many couples might elect to delay divorce until the economy is a little more stable.

In essence, many people enter in and out of marriages viewing it as a mere business transaction and not as the lifelong commitment that it is truly intended to be. In these situations, divorce lawyers often become viewed by clients as financial advisers rather than as their attorneys.

This is not altogether a bad strategy. While it is never a good idea to stay in a broken relationship, it is critical to understand the full financial ramifications of divorce. The fact of the matter is that research shows both men and women suffer a significant drop in household income after splitting.

Whether it be a good or bad economy, there is no set standard for why or when people choose to get divorced, and surprisingly, there are advantages and disadvantages associated with pursuing a divorce during each of these times.

For instance, some people, especially those who are underemployed or who have taken pay cuts, may decide to go ahead with a divorce proceeding during a bad economy given that they can take advantage of being imputed at a lower salary in order to avoid significant exposure with regard to child support and alimony.

Others may also benefit by seeking a divorce during this time given deals that may be offered by struggling attorneys, such as free consultations and reduced hourly rates.

Moreover, some individuals strategically seek a divorce during a weak economy knowing that their spouse stands to gain a whole lot less, once their marital property is divided, than they would during better economic times.

One very poignant example is an individual who wanted a divorce due to the fact that his retirement account took a huge hit. Specifically, he figured that if he gets divorced now while the market is weak, he would be on the hook for a whole lot less money than his spouse would otherwise be entitled to upon division of their marital property, which includes his retirement account.

Strategically, he felt that getting divorced now would be the best way to leave her with as little as possible upon dissolution.

Conversely, a bad economy can also influence couples to remain married until it gets better, due to the costs associated with hiring an attorney and going through with the divorce proceeding.

In this same vein, people who choose to wait for the economy to improve before filing for divorce may also be doing so given that neither party alone can afford to separately take upon the expenses of the marital home post-dissolution. In other words, it is easier for them to stay married then to have to potentially face losing their home or other valuable assets.

Similarly, couples realize that if they get divorced during a weak economy, they may experience significant difficulty in selling the marital home for enough cash to pay off their mortgage and home-equity debt.

For example, one individual initiated divorce proceedings but decided to reconcile with his spouse due to the fact that the potential financial consequences heavily outweighed the benefits of getting divorced.

Divorce In A Good Economy

On the flipside, some prefer to file for divorce during a stronger economy, as the marital assets may be valued at a higher rate warranting a potential higher cash payout upon dissolution to the filing party.

For example, many individuals co-own a business with their spouse and wish to file during a better economy so that they can realize a profit upon division. Others may also file for divorce during this time given that they can actually afford to do so and can also take upon expenses post-dissolution that during a bad economy would be nearly impossible for them to manage.

Moreover, some divorcing couples who wish to sell the marital home as a result of the dissolution, may take advantage of a better economy knowing that they will likely be able to seek a higher asking price and benefit monetarily as a result.

Alternatives To Divorce

In light of the above, the question remains as to whether there are alternatives to seeking a divorce under some of the very difficult and challenging set of circumstances mentioned herein. The answer is definitely yes.

First and foremost, changing the way that we view marriage from the start may be the most powerful and effective way to help prevent the marital breakdown. Quite possibly, pre-marital educational programs, whether secular or non-secular, may help lay the foundation for couples by influencing them to view their impending union as an unbreakable and sacrosanct bond between a husband and wife.

In addition, for those already married and contemplating divorce due to financial struggles, for example, programs such as educational seminars and retreats may aid in restoring the troubled marriage by helping the couple learn more about debt reduction and money management. This is vitally important given that money is often a reason why couples argue and ultimately, end up in divorce court.

Also, promoting the creation of privately-funded public campaigns that both raise public awareness of marriage as a core cultural and sacrosanct institution and support private activities that foster maintaining healthy marriages/restoring troubled ones may also be helpful.

Altogether, the suggestions above, while not exhaustive, may provide some ways in which a married couple can seek to work out their differences before throwing in the towel and giving up on the marriage.

In other words, it may prevent couples from simply viewing the marriage from an economic standpoint.

Essentially, while divorces in many instances have become a discretionary purchase, the above demonstrates that it certainly does not have to be this way and that various alternatives abound.

The post Is A Bad Economy A Good Time To Divorce? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

Parental alienation is often a concern during high-conflict divorces and child custody matters. It is not present in every case, and it can be very difficult to recognize with certainty even when it is actually occurring. One reason alienation can be so difficult to recognize is that the offending behavior typically occurs when the other parent is not around.

There may be attempts by one parent to remove the other parent from the child’s life. This can occur through loyalty games with the child, or making the child choose between parents in various ways. In other circumstances, a parent may discourage or insist that the child not speak of the other parent. This can lead to attempts to limit contact with the other parent by legal means or otherwise. In worst-case scenarios, parents have encouraged children to lie or misrepresent matters regarding the other parent. Depending on the facts and circumstances, this can have tremendous and lasting negative consequences not only on the other parent, but also the child.

The motivating factors for the alienating parent’s actions are numerous. The parent may want revenge against the other parent due to unresolved feelings of rejection or wrongdoing. Acts of alienation may stem from fear of losing the child. Some mothers may feel they have a greater right to the child as a result of pregnancy or childbirth.

Alienation may also occur even after long periods of successful co-parenting. This may stem from jealousy when a new partner comes into the other parent’s life. A genuine belief of being the better parent, or a self-righteous attitude may also lead to acts of alienation. Identifying and recognizing the motivation behind the alienation may be important to correcting the problem for the benefit of the child and both parents.

Although concerns of parental alienation are present in many divorces and child custody matters, it is not present in every case. Divorces can be extremely stressful and emotional on both parties. Sometimes parents are unaware of how their own activities impact children. One parent may believe that alienation is occurring when in reality, one or both parents’ activities are negatively impacting their children unintentionally. Children may blame another parent for the divorce occurring even when the other parent has not prompted them to do so. It is important to look critically at all the facts and circumstances, including one’s own actions, to determine how to best improve difficult family circumstances.

Parental alienation and related issues may be present before, during or after a divorce or child custody matter. If you believe alienation is at issue with your child, it is important to discuss this with a family law attorney.

The post What is Parental Alienation? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

This is hard enough when the children are under the watch care of their father or mother. Once they head back to school and spend most of the day away from Mom and Dad, parents are often left feeling helpless.

Divorced Parents’ Effect on Children’s Education

Numerous studies have linked divorce to setbacks in school. One study even found that the actual breakup itself, not the discord leading up to it, led to lower math scores and poor interpersonal skills for children of divorce between the first and third grade.

Research has also shown that children of divorce are twice as likely to repeat a grade and five times as likely to be expelled or suspended. They often show more withdrawal, dependency, inattention, unhappiness, and less work effort.

This process is often exacerbated if your divorce occurred over the summer months and your child is suddenly forced to adjust to a new routine when his or her living arrangement has recently been turned upside down. They might also be struggling with the pressure of explaining to their friends and classmates that their parents are no longer together.

Divorce and Learning Disabilities

A study published in Ambulatory Pediatrics found that young children who are separated from their parents are at an increased risk for learning disabilities and may require special education.

The study, which analyzed 1,619 children between the ages of 4 and 6, discovered children who had been separated from their parents at any point scored significantly worse on measures of their ability to learn new tasks and their pre-literacy skills.

Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children

It is easy to see how all these factors can snowball and lead to an academic catastrophe. If not addressed, these issues can lead to even larger problems later in life.

Research on children of divorce shows they often experience prolonged feelings of sorrow about their parents’ divorce, report poorer physical health than children from intact families, are at greater risk of suffering from anxiety and depression, and have their social relationships negatively impacted.

Divorce Recommendations for Teachers and Parents

Perhaps a key reason why kids’ educational performance suffers so severely after their parents’ divorce is due poor parent-teacher communication. A recent survey of 689 parents and 174 teachers indicates that teachers feel parents are leaving them in the dark about major changes in the home that lead to behavior problems at school. On the other hand, parents feel teachers fail to reveal details about their child’s behavior.

In the survey, 94% of teachers said they feel it’s important for parents to inform them of a divorce or other rupture in the marriage, but only 23% of divorcing parents surveyed say they actually disclose that information.

Although sharing details about your personal life to your child’s teacher might make you uncomfortable, it is relevant information for them to know. Without that knowledge, the teacher doesn’t know to be on the lookout for abnormalities in your child’s behavior. Your child’s disruptive actions might be treated as typical misbehavior when in actuality it is rooted in something much deeper.

There are a number of back-to-school tips for divorced dads to help make the transition easier for their children.

It is especially important to establish a routine. If possible, work cooperatively with your ex to make your child’s life as stable as possible. Set aside scheduled times for homework, personal time, dinner, and bedtime.

Communicate with your child and find out how they are feeling. Make sure you know what is going on at school. Talk with teachers and school counselors and as stated before, let them know that your child is dealing with a new living arrangement.

Although life after divorce does go on, you have to recognize that your child’s world has changed dramatically. It takes a team effort, but by communicating effectively with all the parties involved and putting your child’s interests above everything else, you can go a long way to helping them get back on track and still have a great school year.

The post How Does Divorce Affect Children’s Academic Performance? appeared first on Dads Divorce.

Cordell & Cordell Executive/Managing Partner, CEO Scott Trout and Litigation Attorney Michael Carano Jr. discuss how to effective communicate when co-parenting with your ex-spouse.

They discuss the importance of communicating effectively when co-parenting, its potential impact on your parenting time, how to communicate when your ex is disagreeable, tools for proper communication when co-parenting, and more.

Click the link above to listen to the full podcast episode. Also make sure to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or whichever podcast app you prefer.

The post Co-Parenting Communication Dos and Don’ts – Men’s Divorce Podcast appeared first on Dads Divorce.

Clients of Cordell & Cordell often ask their divorce lawyer if they can be legally forced to pay the costs of sending their children to private school.

Usually it’s the ex-wife insisting on private school education at the cost of the father, who argues that a public school is just as good a fit for their children as a private institution.

Case law sheds significant light on this issue in providing that only under certain conditions and circumstances can a court force a party to pay for private schooling on behalf of the minor child.

Case Law

For instance, in Drury v. Racer, 17 S.W.3d 608 (Mo. App. E.D. 2000), the court reviewed whether the trial court erred in increasing father’s child support obligation to include costs of parochial school. The court provided that “a child’s educational need is a relevant factor that the trial court may consider in awarding child support.” Id. (quoting In re Marriage Glueck, 913 S.W.2d 951, 955 (Mo. App. 1996)).

Moreover, “the decision to increase child support that requires noncustodial parent to pay a portion of private school tuition rests within the sound discretion of the trial court.” The fact that a parent does not agree to send a child to private school or does not want to pay for it is not by itself sufficient to deny child support for educational expenses. Id. (quoting Shiflett v. Shiflett, 954 S.W.2d 498, 494 (MO. App. 1997)).

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However, a parent’s lack of willingness to pay for the same is a relevant favor for purposes of the court’s analysis. Shiflett 954 S.W.2d at 495. Accordingly, the “test for determining whether a court should order private schooling over the wishes of one parent is when such schooling will meet the ‘particular educational needs’ of the child.” Id.

Upon application of the above, the Drury court found that the mother failed to prove that private schooling met any particular education need of her children. Specifically, her child had no special educational needs and was found to be able to do well at any school.

Moreover, the local schools were admitted by the mother to be “fine schools” and as such, not educationally inferior to the parochial school. As a result, the trial court erred in ordering father to pay one half of the parochial school expenses.

Otherwise stated, “in order to compel payment from father, mother must prove the parochial school meets the particular educational needs of the child.” This, according to the court, mother had failed to do.

Case Example #2

Similarly, in Shepard v. Shepard, 47 S.W.3d 412 (Mo. App. S. D. 2001), the wife maintained that the trial court erred in the amount of child support it ordered because the husband failed to include private school for the parties’ daughter.

At trial, the wife testified that the child had always attended a private school and that “all of her friends are there.” The father countered by asserting that he did not feel that it was in his daughter’s best interest to continue at a private school because she needed to be more rounded.

In its final judgment, the trial court noted that the child did not have any special educational needs that could not be met at the local public school and also, that being traumatized by having to leave a school is simply not enough to force father to pay significant private school costs.

Consequently, the court did not increase the basic amount of child support for private school expenses, noting that it has “the discretion to include a portion of private school tuition in child support paid by a non-custodial parent.”

The court looked at numerous factors in rendering its decision, including the fact that the cost of the private school per year, which was in excess of $6,000, was hard for husband to afford in light of his $2,684 per month gross income.

The court noted that “the cost of education is a proper factor to consider, and including costs for private education is conditional upon such education being within the financial means of the person or persons providing support.” Id. (quoting Marriage of Manning, 871 S.W.2d 108, 111 (Mo. App. 1994)).

Hence, the court concluded that the trial court did not err in refusing to include the cost of private schooling in husband’s child support payments.

Private School Benefits

Notwithstanding the Shepard and Drury rulings, the court in Garner v. Garner, 973 S.W.2d 513, 15 (Mo. App. 1998) ruled in favor of the parties’ children attending a single-sex private school.

Specifically, the father contended that the trial court erred in including the cost of the private high school on child support Form 14 because the mother had insufficient evidence to show that this was a necessary expense. Id.

However, the mother testified that she had selected the private education for the children given that they would benefit academically from the structured atmosphere with fewer distractions associated with a single-sex private school.

The mother also asserted that she anticipated that by enrolling the children in this school and its corresponding athletic program, the children’s future opportunities would increase. The mother further testified that the younger child would benefit emotionally from attending the same private school as the older child.

Moreover, the mother also wanted her children to attend private school in order to increase the children’s chances of receiving scholarships for their post-secondary education due to its specialized athletic program.

Since there was sufficient evidence demonstrating the benefits of private education meeting the children’s particular educational needs and as to athletic activities enhancing their well being, the court ruled that the father must financially contribute towards the costs of the children’s private school. See also, Leslie v. Leslie, 948 S. W.2d 458 *Mo. App. 1997) (The court accepted evidence that the local public school environment was particularly hostile, lacked air conditioning, and was shown to aggravate children’s asthma).

Conclusion

Overall, it is important to keep in mind that for the court to force you to pay for your children’s private school depends upon a lot of factors, including but not limited to, your income, your children’s specific needs, whether you agreed to a private school arrangement when you were divorced, etc.

Accordingly, it is important to speak with a men’s divorce attorney who can further advise you as to what your potential obligations are in this regard, especially when being asked to cover private school expenses.

While the above decisions demonstrate a spectrum of situations that may arise in this regard, keep in mind that each case is unique and as such, there are no guarantees as to a specific outcome in your case.

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