Dad's House

Two Weeks Without My Kids

dadshouse — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 10:03:27 +0000

I tend to not blog about what happened yesterday or last night. I find that waiting a week or two gives me time to really parse an experience and examine it in depth before I share it with the world. I’d rather grow and evolve and become more self aware than simply rant or dish on the latest.

So you may not know that for the past two weeks I’ve been without my kids. They’re on vacation with their mom, and they return this weekend.

Let’s just say, I’m more than a little batty.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of fun these past two weeks. I’ve gone on some dates, met friends for dinner and coffee, gotten in tons of cycling.

I’ve also had my share of alone time. Yes, I know I can head to a bar or coffee house and get my fix of people. Maybe even hit on a hottie single woman or two. But I really love when my kids are around.

I love hanging out with my children and taking care of them. Even if they are out till all hours with friends, forgetting to text me, I like knowing they’ll sleep in their beds in my house that night. I like cooking for them. I like grunting at them and making cocoa for them at breakfast. (I’m not exactly bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning; definitely more of a night owl.)

So I will be happy as a clam when they are back in my midst.

Oh, and it will be nice to have someone else take out the trash and clean the toilets again. (Haha – welcome back, kids!)

If you liked this dad missing his kids post, you might also enjoy:

Parenting is a Contact Sport
Raising Girls is Easy
Giving Back Starts Young , a Dad’s House post nationally syndicated by McClatchy
A Dad Watches His Daughter
Single Parent, Empty House, Full Life
Why am I so Tired? My Kids Did All the Work

Flickr photo by Scott’s Spot, CC BY-ND 2.0

Relationship Test – Who Picked the Wedding Cake?

dadshouse — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 10:01:27 +0000

Whether you’re married or divorced, take this one question relationship test: who picked your wedding cake?

According to wedding planner Samantha Goldberg in an article she wrote for Cosmo, when the bride chooses the cake, it’s a sign she’s too controlling, and the couple may very well end up getting divorced.

The general concept sort of makes sense. Brides are often involved in every little detail of the wedding. What colors should the bridesmaids wear? Which flowers should decorate the church? What hors d’oeuvres should be served at the reception?

But if the bride is so controlling, she won’t even let the groom do one thing, like choose the flavor of wedding cake, it might be a sign the couple will have trouble making decisions together.

(In her article, Goldberg points out that it doesn’t have to be cake the groom chooses. She suggests it’s a good when the bride finds out how the groom wants to be involved, then gives him control in that area. That’s one sign of a happy couple.)

Thinking back to my own wedding, my bride was involved in every little detail, though she did consider my opinion when picking out our formal china pattern (flatware that we subsequently almost never used.)

The cake was more complicated. Together, we chose to split the cake into two flavors we thought our guests would enjoy. (Together! Great sign for a lasting marriage!)

But the top of the cake – the part we froze with the intention of eating one full year later to celebrate our first wedding anniversary, i.e. the lasting part of the cake that we shared in the privacy of our home – was something my bride picked out by herself. Carrot cake. She insisted on it.

We ended up getting divorced.

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Road Trip Planning – Hotels.com Rocks!

dadshouse — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:12:44 +0000

Are you planning a road trip this summer and need to find places to stay? I gotta tell you – Hotels.com rocks!

I just spent an evening booking rooms for a trip my daughter and I will take later this summer to tour east coast college campuses. I normally hate travel planning, but with Hotels.com I actually enjoyed the booking experience. (This is not a sponsored post, though maybe it should be – can I be the William Shatner of the Hotels.com road trip planning industry?)

I’ve taken some killer road trips in my day, visiting every corner of the US – from Athens GA, to Graceland, to Chicago, Mount Rushmore, Seattle, Albuquerque, San Diego, you name it. Back in the day, our road trip planning consisted of a AAA book and some paper maps – we needed a different one for each state. It sucked! We survived, but what a pain in the ass to plan our road trips.

Of course, I’ve used online travel sites since then, including Hotels.com. But something is different about their interface. It was totally easy to use.

This time, my road trip planning consisted of making a list of schools my daughter wanted to visit, then logging in to Hotels.com and typing in those cities. The site brought up a map showing area hotels, with a list of prices and ratings. I could then click a checkbox to highlight the university on the map and see which hotels were closest (you can highlight pretty much any anything – attraction, monument, stadium, neighborhood, beach, shopping center, whatever you’re interested in.)

Then I’d click to my hearts content to see photos of each hotel property. Me being me, I usually picked the hotel with the best swimming pool. Woo-hoo!

Oh, and Hotels.com started giving me discounts on rental cars and other stuff. I went back to my existing rental car reservation, typed in a discount code, and promptly saved $100. Road trip planning never had it so good! (Do I sound like a kid in a candy shop yet?)

Only twice did I have to leave the pleasurable confines of Hotels.com while planning this road trip:

• Booking a hotel at Niagara Falls (She wouldn’t attend college there. It’s just a killer stop on our trip!) I wanted to know exactly where the Falls were, so I turned to Google maps and their satellite view. Let me tell you, our hotel is so close, we can take a barrel to view the Falls.

• Booking a hotel right on the campus of Cornell University. The Statler Hotel is run by the university’s hotel school, and only allows you to book directly through them. (This is our one big splurge of the trip. Check the photos – the Statler and Cornell both look fabulous.)

All this road trip planning is making me want to go back to college. Think my daughter would mind if I tag along when she enrolls? I promise I won’t pull a Rodney Dangerfield and join the school diving team.

I’ll simply do road trip planning.

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Chemistry.com Profile – Maybe More Kids?

dadshouse — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 10:01:57 +0000

I’ve been using Chemistry.com for about two months now. The compatibility matching service has netted me exactly one date. (Woo-hoo!)

Currently, there are ten women in some stage of the online matchmaking dance with me – interest shown, comparing relationship essentials, answering two questions, or emailing.

Some of these woman take a few days between responses, others take weeks or even a month. I know people get busy – I was idle on Chemistry.com for two weeks at the end of my kids’ school year.

Still, I wonder if at least some of these women might like me, but just aren’t sure about one item in my profile:

Wants children: no

(Yes, I know there might be a zillion reasons why some women are taking ages to respond. For conversation sake, let’s assume at least one of them is considering this “wants children” item.)

The reason I wonder is this: if I receive a profile from a woman, and she has marked “yes” to the wants children item, I immediately dismiss her profile. I figure she really wants more kids, and I really don’t. A lack of relationship compatibility is an instant deal-breaker. Why bother meeting? I assume a woman like that receiving my “no” profile would do the same.

If a woman marks “no” to the wants children item, I bump her to the front of the getting-to-know-you list (assuming I’m attracted and feel there’s a chance for chemistry.)

It’s the women who mark “maybe” to the wants children field that befuddle me. How can a woman not be sure?

A single mom who marks “maybe” might really be on the fence. I get that. I was that way as a single dad five years ago. I could have had more kids, or not, just fine. Now that my kids are older, though, I’m pretty sure I’m done making babies.

But a childless single mom who marks “maybe” means what exactly? She might want to be a mom someday? She might not? She wants to be a mom but she doesn’t want to seem over-eager and pressure the guy into marriage and baby from the first date? She doesn’t want to be a mom but she doesn’t want to appear lacking a nurturing instinct?

Some days I think I should mark my wants kids field to say “maybe”. Maybe some of these women would respond more quickly.

Then again, maybe I should just quit this online dating charade, continue meeting women in real life, and gauge interest the old-fashioned way – by getting to know her in person.

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Single Dads are Pathetic Womanizers and Partiers? WTF!

dadshouse — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:58:59 +0000

Leave it to a bitter divorced woman to paint a picture of single dads that belongs in caveman days. A blogger named Lollie wrote an open letter to Kate Gosselin – Dear Kate, Welcome to Single Motherhood, where she spews venom about what divorced men are like.

I know, it’s one woman’s opinion, and it’s based on her own experience. But to write crap like this boggles my mind:

“Your ex-husband will become a party animal. Women will be all over him (still). Single dads are like puppies. Women love to take them in. He will have lots of dates. Women will date him because of the children. Men will not date you for the same reason.”
“Your ex will probably re-marry sooner than later. Men don’t like to be alone despite what they say.”

What the hell? Think she’s more than a little pissed off about her circumstance? Whether her ex was a dirty bastard or not, she might do well to get over it, take a good hard look at herself, and move on.

But please don’t shit all over every divorced man. That’s just promoting ugly stereotypes.

Think I’m over-reacting? Replace ex-husband with your favorite group, minority or not. Preface each phrase with “based on personal experience and that of my friends…”

Blacks are party animals. Women will be all over him.
Asians are like puppies. Women love to take them in.
Jews don’t like to be alone despite what they say.

Now do you get my point?

Why do I care? I’ve been a single dad for nearly a decade, running a household solo, cooking and cleaning and raising two kids half-time by myself. Sure, I’ve dated and enjoyed some serious long term relationships. But women aren’t fawning all over me. Many see my kids as baggage, and simply don’t want to date me. A lot of single women I’ve met would rather start their own family from scratch. In many ways, I might be the opposite of Lollie’s ex.

Let’s just call Lollie’s Dear Kate post the ramblings of a woman who maybe still hurts from her divorce. A woman, by the way, who once commented on a post I wrote that any man who cooks must be gay. (Can we all say it together – WTF!?)

If her Dear Kate post had appeared on a personal blog, I wouldn’t give a rat’s ass. I’d simply ignore it as a pissed off divorced mom spewing crap at her ex.

But the post appeared on a Silicon Valley Moms Blog sister site, 50-Something Moms. That means an editor approved it.

Wait, there’s more!

Her post was picked up by McClatchy for US National syndication. That means another editor liked it so much, it will appear on sites like the Sacramento Bee and Kansas.com.

While they’re at it, why not syndicate posts by some other mom bloggers, like the ones that said Men Suck! and Men are Monsters.

My heart goes out to all divorced people – Lollie, her ex, Jon and Kate, the many single parents who frequent Dad’s House blog. But we evolve when we look within ourselves and choose to grow. Not when we wallow in the muck of past injustices.

Now if you’ll excuse me, this poor puppy dog single dad just peed on the hardwood floor. No worries. Some hot woman fawning all over me will come clean it up, make me dinner, wash my dishes, take care of my kids – while I go party with the other dogs.

Woof.

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Mark Sanford, Eliot Spitzer, Gavin Newsom – Move Over!

dadshouse — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:00:42 +0000

Forget the Jon and Kate divorce indiscretions – there have been some crazy affairs going on with politicians of late.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford secretly left for Argentina to have a cry-fest with his secret lover. (Seems his wife knew about his mistress 5 months ago… huh? You can’t make this stuff up!) Upon returning to the US, Sanford gave a surreal press conference where he rambled on about hiking as a young boy, getting the soccer coach to act as chaperon, and saying how God’s law isn’t a “list of do’s and don’ts, just for the heck of do’s and don’ts.”

At some point, Gov. Sanford admitted to the affair, saying that “from a heart level, there was something real” between him and his mistress.

Then there was New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s scandalous rendezvous with call girl Ashley Dupre . Don’t know whether his heart felt there was something real there or not.

And who can forget San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom’s affair with the wife of his friend and campaign manager? I’m thinking from a heart level, there was some real slime there.

(Not to condone affairs, but at least Gov. Sanford seemed to have fallen in love. He knew the woman for eight years before their friendship turned into something with real sparks. Of course, it’s a shame it happened at the expense of his wife.)

But all three of these politicians – Mark Sanford, Eliot Spitzer, and Gavin Newsom – need to move over and give it up for the Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi. Apparently, Berlusconi’s been having affairs for years, and dodging the criticism so well that they nicknamed him the “Teflon” Prime Minister.

Just one problem – this time, Berlusconi’s purported love interest was a prostitute.

Did Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi apologize to his wife and friends? No, the 72 year-old defended his manliness.

“I have never paid a woman. I never understood what the satisfaction is when you are missing the pleasure of conquest.”

Take that, Sanford, Spitzer, and Newsom!

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Hot Mother in a Boys Clothing Store

dadshouse — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:03:53 +0000

I took my teenage daughter and son shopping for summer clothes the other day. There in a boys clothing store was a hot mother with her five-year-old son. Dark hair, olive skin, pretty, slim, grounded. Just my type. The sort of woman who makes my head turn so hard, I get whiplash. She looked late-30s, which is totally age appropriate for me.

My son was in a changing room trying on clothes, my teen daughter checking out the cool skate shoes, and I was eyeing the hottie mom, looking for a wedding band. I’ve asked women out in front of my kids on a few occasions, so I fully intended to chat her up.

Only problem – her 5-year-old son was looking back at me, giving me the stink eye. WTF!?

When I was five, I noticed when men other than my dad were checking out my mom, but only if there was a change in her mood. The produce guy in the grocery store could tell her about a new shipment of Pippins, no problem. But if she lit up in any way out of the ordinary – a blush, a smile, a batting of the eyelash – then I had a sense there was more going on between them than just fruit.

That said, at five, I was way too young to know or even think some man might hit on my mom or flirt.

Back to the boys clothing store.

The mom didn’t seem to notice me at all. Or maybe she was playing hard to get. We were a good twenty feet apart. I was looking for that ring, and simultaneously trying to make some eye contact. But she didn’t give me any signs: no blush, no smile, nary an eyelash batted.

And yet – there was her five-year-old glaring at me, as if his hot mother was his girlfriend or wife, and I needed to back the f**k off.

Maybe she was married. But what would a five-year-old know about me trying to flirt?

I’m guessing it’s something he learned from watching his dad – mark your territory, protect your woman at all cost. Don’t wait for any guys to advance, simply defend by snarling.

My son didn’t find any clothes in that store that fit. And I didn’t get any hot mother’s phone number.

If you liked this hot mother in a clothing store post, you might also enjoy:

How To Pick Up a Woman in Front of Your Son – a sexy latina woman sits near my son and I in a restaurant, and I can’t help but flirt right in front of him.
Meeting a Love Interest in My Rattiest T-Shirt – nothing like unexpectedly meeting a potential love interest when you’re wearing your rattiest T-shirt.
Dating Tips for 40-Something Men – dating tips from a pick-up artist to help men over forty meet younger women.
Meeting Women the Old Fashioned Way – when you encounter an attractive woman on the street, you have to stop and chat her up. Right?
Sexy and Funny Dating Stories – the best sexy and funny dating stories from 2008 – online dating, sex with an ex, dirty text messages, third-date sex, coffee dates, couch sex, and more…