Comments for Dadventure

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by zoren

zoren — Sun, 20 May 2012 09:45:58 +0000

I dont have a daughter yet but my wife is already pregnant with a baby girl. cant wait to see her. If im in that situation I will rather tell her shes the most beautiful girl in whole world.

Comment on A Common Sense Approach to Internet Safety by Outsourcing India

Outsourcing India — Sat, 19 May 2012 04:38:36 +0000

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Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by Aurea

Aurea — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 12:26:24 +0000

I am going to be a mom three months from now and I haven't thought about dealing with this when my child grows up. We're having a baby boy and this is indeed child psychology! :D The things that we say to our children can definitely affect how they will view at life as they grown up. And I think saying to your child that she or he is beautiful or handsome is amazing.

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by Steve Philp

Steve Philp — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:22:27 +0000

We tell our daughters: "You are beautiful on the inside and on the outside."

Comment on 7 Anti-princess Princess Books by megan

megan — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:17:05 +0000

LadyBug Girl! A strong female that can do "anything". I also like Olivia. Because while a pig, she is a total crack up and pretty much does anything she wants!

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by Clint Lalonde

Clint Lalonde — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 13:43:05 +0000

…and what is it with the fashion accessory glasses with the girls, eh? Or has that always been a fashion thing with girls that I just haven't noticed before?

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by Clint Lalonde

Clint Lalonde — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 13:40:12 +0000

I wonder if daughters hear those phrases "you look pretty" or "you're beautiful" differently depending on whether it comes from Mom or Dad? Some of what I have read about the dad/daughter relationship indicates that her sexuality and the future relationships she may have with men are greatly influenced by the type of relationship she has with her father and (basically) how she sees her father treat women. That's the message that she gets about how she should be treated by the men in her life. Which is why I think I tread extra cautiously here with all the beauty and self-image stuff. But i wonder what she hears when the message comes from Mom?

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by Clint Lalonde

Clint Lalonde — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 13:33:34 +0000

Thanks so much for the lead on Carol Dweck, Doug. Been checking out some of her stuff on the web really like what she has to say. It makes so much sense re) praise and what we say vs what kids hear.

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by Clint Lalonde

Clint Lalonde — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 13:23:57 +0000

"Take a shower, pig-child!" = awesome. I need to remember that. I work hard at the general "good" comment as well. Doug's comment below has a reference to Carol Dweck, whom I had never hear dof before. But since he posted it, I've searched out some of her stuff and it's very good – related to what you are saying about praise and praising in general terms & what kids here when we praise vs. what we would like them to hear.

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by Wendy

Wendy — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:17:41 +0000

Important to think about, Teagan's pretty into 'fashion' right now so it's timely for us. (and she has play glasses, too!) I try to tell her she's beautiful at less than obvious times, in PJs with messy hair, when I'm just enjoying a moment with her, in casual conversaition. Because she IS beautiful then! But I also will compliment a neat outfit she's wearing, or a cool hairstyle she figured out. I wrestle with it, but the reality is that we do strive to improve our appearances, and hope we "look beautiful[handsome]" for these efforts. So I hope that occasional praise or compliment is supportive and noticing, rather than driving a need to focus solely on her appearance.

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by Doug Belshaw

Doug Belshaw — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 15:29:48 +0000

I had this debate at Christmas with my mother-in-law when I called my 11 month-old daughter 'beautiful'. Now obviously, at the moment, she can't understand me, but the reason I was pulled up was because I'm a great believer in Carol Dweck's ideas around praising effort rather than the 'talent' construct. My mother-in-law (a teacher) believed that me calling my daughter 'beautiful' was the same.

It' a tricky one, for sure, and one I'm going to have to struggle with over the next few years. Thanks for sharing Clint!
My recent post Best of Belshaw 2011 now available!

Comment on How do I tell my daughter she looks nice? by @LisaRead

@LisaRead — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:51:06 +0000

I love hearing about the same issues I struggle with as a Mom, from a Dad point of view. My pet-peeve phrase (that I catch myself using ALL the time) is "You're a good_____(boy/girl)". Why "good"? When what I really mean is "Thank you for cleaning up that mess" or "That meant a lot to me that you played with your brother when he was sad"…. A lot of the time we do simply condense: "You look cute!" really means "Look at all the trouble you went to — for no reason other than you like how you look", Or something… and yes, isn't it hard to make any comments about physical appearance when it's positive….and yet a few hours in the back yard and I wouldn't hesitate to say to my kid "Get in the bath you disgusting pig child!". Do they take damage to their psyche when I say that? Well, obviously I hope not, and I'm pretty confident they know I'm talking about nothing more than the outer layer of grime and filth. Not about who they are as a person. So when I say "I like that sweater on you" my daughter knows that I'm complimenting her taste in clothing, and that she looks "cute", but Her and her Outside appearance are mutually exclusive. I often opt for "Hey pretty girl" or "there's my handsome guy". And really, if we, as parents, have done our jobs well, their self esteem already knows the difference between "You are a great kid" and "You are a great kid because I approve of your hair barrette and socks", and will take your "You look cute!" or "Take a shower, pig-child" for what they are–not statements of value or worth, just observations of the outer layer.

Comment on Because a little girl can never feel inadequate enough by Steve

Steve — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 14:11:36 +0000

where i do not agree with telling girls that they are worthless unless they are thin, telling kids the importance of eating right and exercising is an important key in making sure they from up with a good understanding of the concept of living healthy.

when i see parents giving a 2 year old a bag of chips as a snack at the park it makes me sick to think that a parent would teach their child to eat such crappy unhealthy foods.

Comment on Foolproof Birth Control by Yoli Oliver

Yoli Oliver — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:38:45 +0000

I forgot to take the pill (again) yesterday, and by looking for alternative and foolproof birth control methods I run into you blog. LOL You really made me laugh!
Yoli

Comment on 7 Anti-princess Princess Books by Barbra

Barbra — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:37:15 +0000

Liza Lou and the Yeller Belly Swamp by Mercer Mayer – great and amusing strong girl book