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Helping Abused Children

webcontact@pagecafe.com (Admin) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:59:57 +0000

It took me a long time to really recognize that I was abused as a child. My upbringing was troubling, I felt rejected, was continually criticized and ridiculed. This was actually emotional abuse only I didn’t know it at the time. Children who are dealing with coping with abuse when it is emotional is difficult because there aren’t any physical signs of the abuse. I dared not talk about any of it for fear of even more harsh treatment. No one would have believed me even if I did tell because my mother was loved and respected in the community. I still cringe when someone says to me, ‘oh, it must be wonderful to be Jean’s daughter!’ I can smile and know they have no idea!

Coping with Memories of Abuse

webcontact@pagecafe.com (Admin) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:59:13 +0000

I don’t remember a lot of my past, but I have been coping with a few memories of abuse for a long time. As a teenager, I talked with a neighbor, took a real risk, and told her I was terrified that I would end up just like my mother; who was manipulative, controlling, abusive, and a liar. She told me to focus on becoming more like Jesus; thus getting the focus off mother. That advice and the grace of God have made me who I am today. I am so thankful. I am NOT my mother.

Healing from Abuse as a Christian

webcontact@pagecafe.com (Admin) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:58:04 +0000

When my children were small I started to really delve into healing from the abuse of my childhood. A great piece of advice I once heard regarding healing from abuse was from a Christian was to go back and raise myself as I was raising my own children. Be the parent I would have liked to have had raise me. What would I have liked? The best way to show me love is to spend time with me. I made a conscious decision to spend time with my sons, playing with them, swinging with them, doing things they loved to do. I really got into their world. I knew I was really free when I ran into the swing and flew like an airplane at the playground just like they would do.

Coping with Abuse as a Child

al@pagecafe.com (Allan Todd) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:50:07 +0000

No one knew I was coping with abuse as a child; no one would have believed me even if I did tell because my mother was loved and respected in the community.

There was both emotional and physical abuse. One way I was coping with abuse as a child was through suppression. I blocked it out completely. Much of my childhood is forgotten because I chose to deal with the pain by pushing it down, deep down. An example of this was when my younger sister (who remembers EVERYTHING) asked me if I pushed my children down the stairs. WHAT?? I would never dream of pushing my kids down the stairs. Where in the world did that come from?

Coping with Abuse

al@pagecafe.com (Allan Todd) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:50:07 +0000

What is abuse, really? Many of us wonder if we have been abused, and perhaps we have been. But what exactly constitutes abuse? Is it the slapping around, the name calling or being controlled by another? Coping with abuse starts with the admission that the purpose of abuse is to control, exert power, demean and avoid responsibility. In the abuser’s mind, the end justifies the means. And so it begins.

There are many different kinds of abuse. There is emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, economic abuse and mental abuse. People coping with abuse do so in many different ways. In my family where there were five children, we each dealt with our pain in very different ways. Our mother was the abuser.