I’m a total newbie here. Did you install frame sliders for track purposes? Are they recommended for someone who is about to buy their first bike (mainly for the inevitable tips, crashes, etc)? I’m 30 and considering the 696 for my first bike. I’m in love with it. Some say it’s great for beginners and some say it’s too much bike. Your thoughts?

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about riding, and I did put some thought into my answer, so I will share that here. I have covered these subjects before, but the question asked, was a good one, so here’s a more relevant answer for those wondering, “Which bike first?”

I installed the frame sliders for street riding. It’s rare that I have an incident, but doing so would really mess up a Monster. I did a couple of track days, but I have had CFS for a few years, and that has destroyed my ability to drive a car (about 50% of the time), and to ride a motorcycle (almost 100%). When I am up to it, I photograph other people riding. Riding is the thing that I miss more than anything else.

The tough part of choosing a bike is simply that there is no way to really know what you will like to ride, until you ride it, and people are not-likely to let you test-ride them. One strategy is to buy something small-and-inexpensive first, and then buy a Monster as-soon-as-possible: not because it’s too big, but because that’s the easiest way to get experience with both, and you might end up loving both.

I really like small bike’s. On my second Basic MSF test: I ground the foot pegs on every corner, earned 100 points, and felt like I was flying. I never achieved that level of satisfaction on any other bike.

The flip side is that I wouldn’t be satisfied on the highway, at speed, in traffic, on a very small bike.

Around town? Small bikes are cool. When I was a kid (before I rode), they were all small bikes. Here is what the first Honda Gold Wing originally looked like: http://www.vf750fd.com/vf750f/75goldwing.jpg It started out as a slow-ish 999cc 4-cylindar, and it was smaller than a Monster 696, even with that larger displacement. The larger bike trend is caused by the need to homologate superbikes, to keep up with the Joneses, and to one-up Harley Davidson. The people that rode back-in-the-day (as the kids like to say), all miss their small bikes. Peter Egan, makes-a-living mostly writing about the small bikes that he misses, and he has a whole lot of fans that agree.

For a bike that is comfortable at highway speeds, I love the smallest Monster. Riding my cruiser, on the highway without the fairing, is like doing pull-ups. My SV650S, on the highway, with the low clip-ons, is like doing push-ups. My Monster’s ergonomics are such that the airflow holds me up; it’s comfortable at most speeds, and on all highways.

As a beginner, you would shift early, but not so early that the motorcycle stutters. Do so, and the Monster is a puppy. At some point you will want a faster bike. That’s when you teach yourself to shift at higher RPM’s. It’s as simple as this: Is the bike too slow? Shift down a gear while blipping-the-throttle, and it will rocket along, because blipping-and-down-shifting, is a way to get the engine’s RPM’s close to where it’s making more torque. You will read about how flat a V-twin’s torque curve is. This is a good characteristic of v-twins. However: the smaller the v-twin, the happier it will be at the RPM’s where it reaches maximum torque. Simply riding it more like a 4-cylinder, will make up for any perceived displacement (engine size) disadvantage, and may chase away any thoughts of wanting something larger.

More on blipping-the-throttle: the best way to match your RPMs to road speed is to shift like this:

1. Squeeze clutch.
2. Close throttle.
3. Shift (up or down).
4. Open throttle while letting out the clutch.

This video demonstrates: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDLWmzomvZA

Here is how to do a clutch-less up-shift. People that never tried this, will advise against it, but the latest BMW superbike comes with a quickshifter, and quickshifters do the same thing for you. If it were dangerous, then they wouldn’t sell it.

1. Put your foot under the shifter, and touch it with very-light pressure.
2. Close throttle.
3. Open the throttle, your motorcycle will shift-up at the correct RPMs.

Oh, and definitely buy any modern bike with anti-lock brakes, in the cases where that’s an option, and it is on Ducatis. They work exactly like every other bike, until you are about to fall due to wheel lockup, and then you simply don’t fall.

Honda and BMW combined ABS with other technologies many years ago, and people hated them, but modern ABS is nothing like those.

The MFS practice where you separate braking and swerving is usually forgotten in a crisis, but ABS can allow you to combine braking and swerving. The stickers on the motorcycle fuel tanks say to use ABS while riding straight up. Assumedly the factories’ lawyers have some reason for that, but it has saved my bacon while leaned way-over and braking too-hard, so follow the advice on the fuel tank, but be happy when you don’t, and the ABS works anyway.

My solution? Run Windows XP Mode on a Windows 7 netbook via a Remote Desktop Connection; it saves the scans on my Windows 8 desktop because that folder is shared. Windows 8 is a no-16-bit-drivers world, and no, you can’t do it via VirtualBox either; most non-Virtual-PC virtual machines require that the drivers work on the host operating system.

Here’s how to install drivers for the Fujitsu fi-4120C, and other fi Series scanners. As mentioned above: 32-bit OS only! These instructions can be adapted for most driver installs that give you the ”The hash for the file is not present in the specified catalog file. The file is likely corrupt or the victim of tampering,” error message. The root cause of this error message is Windows 8′s driver signature enforcement feature; older drivers are not digitally signed. Download Fujitsu’s fi Series ISIS and TWAIN driver installation programs from here: http://www.fujitsu.com/global/support/computing/peripheral/scanners/drivers/index.html  I required the WIA drivers. Fujitsu bundles them with its TWAIN drivers. This next set of steps chooses one option, and reboots the PC.

1. Move your mouse pointer to the upper right-hand side of your monitor. This will open the charm bar.
2. Click the Settings charm.
3. Click the Change PC settings link at the bottom of the Settings menu.
4. Click the Restart now button.
5. Click Troubleshoot. 
6. Click Advanced Options.
7. Click the Startup Settings.
8. Click the Restart button. Your computer will reboot.
9. After the reboot, press the [F7] key. This chooses the 7) Disable driver signature enforcement option.
10. Login to Windows 8.

Install Fujitsu’s drivers:

1. Run Fujitsu’s TWAIN driver install. This will copy the WIA driver installation files to C:\Windows\fjmini
2. Move your mouse pointer to the lower left-hand side of your monitor, and right-click. This will open a small menu.
3. Choose Control Panel.
4. Click on the View by dropdown, and choose Small icons, if you see categories, instead of small icons.
5. Choose Device Manager.
6. Right click on the Unknown device, and choose Properties
7. Choose the Details tab. Observe the Hardware Ids property. If it says USB\VID_04C5&PID_1041&REV_0100, then you have found the Fujitsu fi-4120C device. If not, then observe the property for each Unknown device until you find it.

What do you do if you have a device other than the Fujitsu fi-4120C? Choose one of these two choices:

• Copy the Hardware Ids properties from your Unknown devices, and use Google to find out what they are.
• Or unplug all of your USB devices, except for your device, then right-click on your computer in Device Manager and choose Scan for hardware changes. You should then have only one Unknown device, choose that one.

Know we know which Unknown device we were looking for. So we can install the driver for that device.

1. In Device Manager right-click on the Unknown device, and choose Update driver software…
2. Choose Browse my computer for driver software
3. Under Search for driver software in this location choose the location of your driver software. At this point, it’s in C:\Windows\fjmini for the Fujitsu fi-4120C.
4. Click Next.
5. Choose hardware type: Imaging devices.
6. Click Next.
7. Manufacturer: FUJITSU, Model: fi-4120C2. (The name may be slightly different, but it’s not the fi-4120C2dj.)
8. Click Next.
9. Click Yes on the Update Driver Warning pop-up.

You should now be able to choose your scanner in your scanning software.

He was OK for the portrait. I didn’t ask him his name (D’oh!), but we talked about the skateboard (in the shop), the chainmail (a gift from his spouse from museumreplicas.com), and as always, I gave him my card so that he could ask for a digital copy of the photos.

These started out as the same image, but I applied different post-processing in order to achieve a smooth-balanced image, and an end-of-the-world gritty image. They are also cropped differently. Hopefully they each tell a different story.

This is an extremely affordable lens. The Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II cost only $111.50 USD. To put that into perspective, the Canon EF 50mm f/1.2 L USM, with only a slightly larger aperture, cost $1,504.89 USD. That’s over 13-times the price. (These prices are for new, non-gray-market lenses, from Amazon.com, on 2013-04-04 12:14 am CDT.)

Pros:

• Inexpensive.
• Extremely light.
• Fast shutter speeds.
• Works well in low light.
• Nice bokeh.
• The front of the lens does not rotate. This is a good feature if you use graduated filters.
• 50mm is perfect for portraits.

Cons:

• The focus ring is small.
• Like with all primes, there is no zoom, so you need to either move the camera to fill the frame, or crop the image later.
• It has a plastic barrel.
• The provided lens cap is (maybe too) easy to take off.

Here are Amazon.com affiliate links to the various versions of this lens. The last-gen lenses are usually less expensive. The first word in the link is for the mount-type, so if it says, “Canon Macro”, then it’s the latest version of this lens for use on a Canon SLR: Canon Macro, Canon Last-gen, Nikon Macro, Nikon Last-gen, Pentax Macro, Sigma Macro, Sony Macro, Sony Last-gen.

Pros:

• It ranges from wide-angle to telephoto: 18-250mm
• An excellent value
• Macro listed for the latest version
• Very small and light. Sigma’s website says, “The non-macro 18-250mm F3.5-6.3… weighs 22.2 ounces and is 3.1 by 4 inches in diameter, whereas the new macro lens is 16.6 ounces and 2.9 by 3.5 inches in diameter.”
• The front of the lens does not rotate. This is a good feature if you use graduated filters.
• There are switches on the barrel for: Autofocus, Optical Stabilization, and Zoom-lock (so that gravity won’t make the lens extend).

Cons:

• Remember to check the position of the lens’ switches when you remove it from your camera bag.
• There are lenses that bypass autofocus if you grab the focus ring and twist it, that’s not a good practice with this lens.
• There are faster lenses.

Macro vs. Non-Macro

I asked Sigma the following:

The latest version of this lens has macro listed as a feature, but the prior version (mine) did not. … Is there anything special about the new model that makes it better for macro photos, or is the updated design relatively similar to the one that I own with regards to close-up photos?

This is their answer:

The new version has a Flat Field Element that is required to make a lens a true macro …

Telling people to stop raising animals, to have smaller families, and that they must plant trees on their own property, are all non-starters politically, but those are the best answers.

Bad Non-automotive Product Names

There are so many poorly-named cars, that they get their own section.

AcipHex

Thumper Ray suggested this one: “How about a drug pronounced ‘ass effects’ that has flatulence listed as the third most common side effect and constipation as number five.  Ass effects indeed.” I was actually able to Google the correct spelling of AcipHex by typing it in phonetically: not a good sign.

Barf

I can’t make this stuff up.  Kay actually brought a box back from Azerbaijan.

The photo is by Flickr user almada, and is licensed under Creative Commons.

Duke Nukem Forever

Apogee Software (a/k/a 3D Realms) released the Duke Nukem video game in 1991, Duke Nukem II in 1993, and Duke Nukem 3D in 1996. The name “Duke Nukem 3D” is a pun; it’s the 3d version of the game, and it’s played in 3D.  How will come up with a pun for version Duke 4? How about “Duke Nukem Forever” (4-ever, Duke  4, get it)?  …only, it’s been over 13 years since the last version of the game was released. It really is taking them “forever” to complete it.

GoLYTELY

GoLYTELY is a polyethylene-glycol-electrolyte-solution that makes everything in your digestive system come out really, really fast: “go lightly” indeed. Yes. Polyethylene-glycol is also the stuff in Miralax: which does work mildly, but the same cannot be said for GoLYTELY.
On another note: the word polyethylene-glycol-electrolyte-solution sounds to me like something that you could make by melting a full bottle of Gatorade.

Hydrox

John suggested Hydrox: a cookie that sounds like a chemical. Donlon McGovern added: “Yeah, and with all that sodium they could call them Sodium Hydroxides but then that would be a little caustic.”

Nanotax

There is a new cancer drug called Nanotax: as if they combined the words “nano” and “tax“, and no, that’s not a mistake. NanoTax is a contraction of the words “nano”, and “paclitaxel“, but who can hear the name of this product without thinking of being taxed for every little thing?

Razorbraces

I know how vitally important it is to let your patients know that you are a fan of the geographically local sports team. Who would go to an orthodontist that wasn’t? That said, getting braces is bad enough, without getting razorbraces in your mouth.

RePOOPulate

Antibiotics can kill your normal gut bacteria, when this happens, a “bad” bacteria named Clostridium difficile can take over and cause symptoms ranging from diarrhea to life-threatening inflammation of the colon.

What’s a hospital to do when this happens? So far they repopulate the normal gut bacteria by implanting a healthy-person’s stool in the patient. I can’t make this stuff up. University of Guelph microbiologist Emma Allen-Vercoe developed a new product to replace the poop, and what did they name it? So far it’s called RePOOPulate. That’s right, even if you use the product that isn’t real poop, every time that you hear-or-read its name you will think of nothing but implanted poop.

Here’s the word on my family’s opinion about this name. Dr. Kay Ann Kile M.D., “I think it’s perfect. I don’t even think that it falls under the category of poorly-named. It’s medical humor.”  Gershwin: “if Cassidy was here and she [heard you read that], I would be scarred for life.”

Bad Automotive Product Names

There are so many poorly-named cars, that they get their own section.

AMC Gremlin

Gremlin is also another name for a mechanical problem.  This was like naming your Operating System “Buggy”.

Ford Aspire

Does it aspire to be: a car?

Chevy Nova

Nova: a star that suddenly increases its light output tremendously and then fades away to its former obscurity in a few months or years.
I never believed the other explanation. Folks would say, “No va means doesn’t go in Spanish!” and I would say, “The word nova means the same thing to Spanish-speaking people as it does to English-speaking people. It’s a scientific term.”

Honda Fit

• It’s small enough to fit in your other car.
• You’ll barely fit in it?
• It will remind you of your kids throwing a fit ?

Daihatsu Charade

The word charade means a piece of ridiculous pretence which is so obvious that it does not deceive anyone. Was this meant to be a parody of a car? Because it only had 3-cylinders? Americans weren’t buying 3-cylinder cars back then (’88-’92). Daihatsus are no longer sold in the US.

This photo by is by WikiMedia Commons user Tennen-Gas, and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Honda Odyssey

“I know! Let’s name our vehicle after a story about a trip… a trip that takes many years… and takes the lives of many sailors. Yeah that’s a great idea.”

Honda Prelude

Remember: the prelude introduces what comes later.  OK, then that’s the car I want.

Mitsubishi Lancer

Lancing what? Lancing boils? Lancing people on horseback?

Mitsubishi Mirage

It’s not real. It’s only a mirage.

Subaru Justy

Is it just barely a car?

Toyota Urban Cruiser

I believe that Jeremy Clarkson of Top Gear described an Urban Cruiser as “someone that you don’t want around a school with children in it”. That sounds about right. It’s not available in the US, but it is very similar to a Scion xD, which is.

This photo by is by WikiMedia Commons user Matthias93, and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

From the Office of Reused Product-names

Honda Odyssey

This is a Honda Odyssey. These little guys were sold from 1977 until sometime in the 1980′s It was a very popular product, but who today thinks about anything, except minivans when they hear the name “Honda Odyssey”?  I really envied the people that drove these when I was a teenager.  I lived in the Adirondack area, and folks would ride these on the frozen ice. This video is by alicecooper2009 (if that is his real name):

Honda Pilot

The original Honda Pilot was not an SUV.  It was a miniature dune buggy, just like the Honda Odyssey.  Bad Honda.  No bisquit. This video is by StonerLouie:

Microsoft Access

Microsoft Access isn’t a very good name for a DBMS.  When I mention that folks usually say, “But it helps you to ‘access’ data”, but all programs help you to access data.  Being able to use a computer, when you cannot even get to a physical console?  Now, that would be a good product for the name Access to belong to, and it did.  Microsoft Access was originally the name of a Terminal Emulator.

Mitsubishi Lancer, Mitsubishi Mirage

It was the best of car names, it was the worst of car names. This is the tale of two car names.
When Mitsubishi first chose to sell the Mitsubishi Lancer in the US, they called it the “Mitsubishi Mirage”, because Chrysler used to sell a car called the “Dodge Lancer” in the US. Eventually Chrysler gave Mitsubishi permission to sell a car named “Lancer” in the US, so they eventually renamed the US Mirage the “Mitsubishi Lancer”.
At this point you are probably thinking, “OK Paul, but Mitsubishi sold a car in the US called the ‘Mitsubishi Mirage’ at the same time that they were calling the Mitsubishi Lancer the ‘Mitsubishi Lancer’ in the US,”  and if that’s what you are thinking, then you are correct. The Great Mistubishi Mirage/Lancer Naming Disaster has additional chapters.

Love Garden is a record store at 822 Massachusetts Street, Lawrence KS 66044.

Foxtrot is a shoe store at 823 Massachusetts Street, Lawrence KS 66044.

I overexposed it for if your monitor is too dark. Most are actually too bright. That’s how they come in the box. Any boxed monitor could be the one that ends up in the store display, and people tend to buy the one that is brighter. Of course every company does this, so they end up universally too bright.

The converging verticals are intentional. Yes, images look better without them, but this one looked weird when I minimized them in post.

Can our eyes see more detail in a scene than our cameras? Yes, but we don’t necessarily see all that detail at the same instant. Our ability to see more dynamic range depends on changes in our pupils, and changes in neural firing rate, and action potentials.

As an analogy: I might not always prefer greatest depth-of-field, even though that simulates all that my eyes can focus-on when I scan a scene, just as I might not always prefer an HDR image, even though that simulates most of the contrast that my eyes can distinguish as I scan a scene.

I choose the HDR image if I like the results better than what I can make by processing the best-exposed RAW file, and can-it otherwise.

This is my daughter Gershwin. She is in-line for something-or-other at Walt Disney World. Gershwin is originally from Azerbaijan. Coincidentally, the woman in back looks like her.

This is my daughter Gershwin. She is in-line for something-or-other at Walt Disney World. Gershwin is originally from Azerbaijan. Coincidentally, the woman in back looks like her.

Originally submitted at Adorama

Bogen – Manfrotto 190CXPRO4 4 Section Carbon Fiber Pro Tripod Legs (Height 3.15" – 57.5", Maximum Load 11 lbs)

Manfrotto 190CXPRO4 4 Section Carbon Fiber Pro Tripod Legs (Height 3.15-57.5″, Maximum Load 11 lbs)

Rock Solid

Pros: Folds Small, Good Stability

Best Uses: Home, Portraits, Night Shots, Landscape/Scenery

Describe Yourself: Photo Enthusiast

Was this a gift?: No

This tripod folds up smaller than one with three section legs.

It’s very stable.

I don’t know how heavy these things usually get, but it’s heavier than most carbon-fiber parts that I am familiar-with from other disciplines. This is actually a good thing, because it makes the tripod very stable, but if you regularly climb mountains, then you might want to stick with a mono-pod/hiking-stick over this tripod.

I paired it with the Acratech GP Ballhead, which can be used as a ballhead, a gimbal, or a panorama head.

I previously took all photos handheld, and I dealt with variable-light by combining bracketed exposures, but there are obvious challenges doing so in low-light, so I now have one more tool to get it right.

(legalese)

Taking photos of moving vehicles in the dark is hit-or-miss [rimshot/].

Cliff Bleszinski used to have a site called catscan.com. His fans would send him cat scanography, and he would post in on the site.

.

I don’t know who created the original I THINK THIS MIGHT BE PHOTOSHOPPED image.

The MSF exercises separate braking and swerving in panic situations, because doing those at the same time can use up all of your available traction. That said, during a real incident riders still swerve-and-brake at the same time.

To properly use automotive ABS: stomp on the brake and swerve away from obstacles. This also worked very well when I did it on the motorcycle. That said, the sticker on me fuel tanks say to brake while the bike is straight.

This is the ceiling of the Douglas County Courthouse at 1100 Massachusetts Street, Lawrence KS 66044.

Please link to dangerismymiddlename.com and use this caption if you want to use this image on the Web.

I went to the American Motorcyclist Association and North American Trials Council (AMA/NATC) 2006 National Observed Trials Competition in Tishomingo Oklahoma (2006-05-08).  Here is a little background about where I was “coming from” at the time.  I had just left Wal-Mart ISD, and accepted a position at ECU.  My arthritis was getting pretty bad, and ECU looked like a better place to be, because folks in higher ed. get more vacation days than folks at Wal-Mart, and I needed those vacation days to use as sick days for my osteoarthritis.  I was single, dealing with chronic pain, and living in a new place.   Basically each day was work, go home, try to sleep, work, go home, try to sleep: needless to say, motorcycle riding was my therapy.  Motorcycle riding clears your mind, because you experience the world more fully, and you need to concentrate.  It is a wonderful form of meditation.

So, I am thinking, “what will my next great motorcycle trip be?”, and I am already too exhausted to go far, so I pick up the good-old AMA Motorcyclist magazine, and look for local motorcycle races to go see.  The idea being that I would ride my motorcycle to a motorcycle event.  What did I see in the magazine?  I saw that there would be an observed trials competition in Tishomingo, Oklahoma the very next weekend.  I bought a folding stool, from Wal-Mart, to strap to my bike, I printed out the directions from Mapquest, and I waited for the weekend.

I woke up early-in-the-AM, strapped the folding stool, and a small cooler with beverages to my motorcycle, and took off.  I went out on 377 via the Richardson Loop that circles Ada.  There was no traffic, so I took the onramp as fast as I could, I got the bike leaned way over and enjoyed moving through the air.  I met some other motorcyclists on the way, but quickly passed them, and moved on.  There is some beautiful scenery on 377: farms, old buildings, these cylindrical columns of rock that the local farmers create for who-knows-what-reason, trees, creeks, wildlife, long straights (boring), and sharp curves (interesting), and slow trips through tiny downtowns.

I passed the turn-off for the Tishomingo Golf Course, and realized that I missed my turn.  I made a U-turn, and headed North.  I turned at the prescribed time, and headed down a dirt road.  I crossed over a beautiful rock creek (was this “the” Rock Creek?) and ended up at… a trailer home?  That can’t be right.  I doubled back to 377, turned around, read my directions again and headed right back to… the trailer home.  Urgh.  OK, here’s what I am going to do: use the left-hand algorithm to follow every possible road connected to my turn-off until I find the event (see the “Wall Follower” section here, and yes, computer programmers do think like this when lost).  I can hear two-stroke engines.  I must be close.  Ride, turn, ride, turn, ride, turn, dead end, no trespassing, ride, turn, ride, turn, ride, turn, another dead end, no trespassing: I eventually came to the conclusion that, in the oh-so-cliched, words of Mainers, “You can’t get they-uh from he-uh.”  OK, Mapquest was wrong.  There is a freakin’ trailer home in the middle of the road, and it’s been there for years, and there are people living in it, and that’s just the way it is.  These people must have won their war against eminent domain through attrition, just like Arthur Dent, but not like Edward Pilgrim.  What to do, what to do?

On a hunch I headed South on 377, stopped to get gas, headed East on 22, and eventually saw signs leading to the event.  I also saw many motorcycles on 22, implying that, no, I am not the only person that thinks riding a motorcycle to a motorcycle event is the thing to do.

“The sport looks like chess at moments like these.” by dangerismymiddlename.com. Please link to dangerismymiddlename.com and keep this comment if you want to use this image on the Web.

I turned onto Rock Creek Road and passed some camp sites.  I think that they were the type that you buy (Condo camping?).  I headed down the winding gravel road as fast as I could, which wasn’t very fast at all.  I was passed by some 4x4s that were going much faster than was safe.  Yes, I get it that you guys can do that legally, and that you can’t be hurt in your vehicles, but you could easily kill me, and that would put a damper on my day, at least until I didn’t exist anymore.  Riding, clay-dust, riding, clay-dust, riding, rocks, clay-dust, gravel, more clay: I then approached some folks that were there to collect fees, and to tell us where to park.  I was directed to extra-special motorcycle parking, which means that those 4×4 folks will have a long walk that I won’t have.  I am told that, no, I am not too late for the event.  I park among the motorcycles, and I lock my helmet and jacket to the bike.

Just beyond the motorcycle parking is what looks like a race track.  I don’t get it.  This racetrack-thing isn’t observed trials.  There are some kids riding trials bikes around the track, and interestingly enough the podium is on the track, and has ramps, so that it is an actual jump.  There is a guy sitting on the edge of the podium.   ”Um, there are some bikes coming through here.”  “That’s OK, this is a safe place to sit.”  “…OK.”

I take my folding seat, and head over to some tables to get food, and a t-shirt.  I buy a cheesburger.  I ask the cheeseburger guy where I should go.  He tells me where the first stage is.  It’s behind the owner’s garage.  The Rock Creek Riding Area is on some family’s personal property, so there’s a house, and a garage there.  I have a good idea of where I am in relation to the previously discussed trailer home, and it’s just beyond the Rock Creek Riding Area.  If the road had actually been built where the trailer home was, then I would have been able to follow it to this very spot.  I see some folks at the home sitting on ATVs.  It must be weird to have hundreds of strangers descend on your property, even if this is your family business.

The rules-for-spectators talk about staying on the walking trail at all times, the only problem is that there is no walking trail, there is a sign for the beginning of a trail, but the trail itself ends tens-of-feet later.  I see someone crossing the course, and she looks like she knows what she is doing, so I ask, “Where am I allowed to walk?”  She tells me how to cross the course so that I don’t disturb the riders.  I cross over the course, and walk over to her, and her family.  She explains the rules of observed trials to me.  She tells me that the best strategy is to find an interesting section and just sit there.  She tells me how stake out a spot for taking good pictures.  None of the riders have reached our location yet.  She shows me how to read a stage, so that I will know where the different classes of riders will have to go.  There are these little signs with arrows on them for each class of rider.  The riders must ride between the arrows.  Each stage has every class go through it, but the beginners may get to go around some of the more difficult obstacles that the pros will have to go over.  The really interesting thing about this sport is that the spectators and the amateur riders get to mingle with the pros during the event (including national champion Geoff Aaron).

I decided to check out the vendor booths, and then I walked over to another section of the course to see if there was riding going on there.  I walked down a two-track road.  A tractor pulling a flat-bed wagon was going up-and-down the road.  Folks were sitting on lawn chairs on the back of the wagon.

At the end of the road was a really cool section.  I sat on the ground for a long time waiting for the riders to get there, and I thought about how this must be like hunting: sitting there in the heat, and the clay-dirt, waiting for something to come along.

The pro riders needed to jump from rock-to-rock in this section.  On one side of the rocks was a sharp drop, on the other side were the spectators.  In other words the rocks are on the edge of a small cliff, and, better yet, there is a large-ish gap between  two of them.  Geoff Aaron and Keith Wineland spent a lot of time looking at the rocks from different angles.  They just stood there and stared at them.  I think that they were practicing the run in-their-heads!  This sport looks a lot like chess at moments like these.  This is something that you don’t get to see when you are watching trials riding videos.  The videos are edited so that it all looks so spontaneous.  It is not.

A young child decides to sit on one of the rocks so that he will have a better view than I.  I say, “The motorcycles have to go where you are sitting.”  He moves.

I took these pictures, and shot this video in the section discussed above.  The video’s angle doesn’t do justice to how far the riders had to jump:

Trials image (Brent Le Riche?) by dangerismymiddlename.com. Please link to dangerismymiddlename.com and use this caption if you want to use this image on the Web.

Bruce Le Riche by dangerismymiddlename.com. Please link to dangerismymiddlename.com and use this caption if you want to use this image on the Web.

Remember the spot that I mentioned earlier, where that woman told me how to be a proper spectator?  I head back over there, and spend more time waiting in the heat, and the clay-dust, thinking about how this was what I imagined hunting to be like.  (Oklahomans called their clay-dust “red dirt“.)

The expert riders had to go up one face of the rock, come back down, and then setup for the second part.  In the second part the riders had to go all the way up another face of the rock.  They could not touch the ground at any point in the section (both parts).

There was no break between the two halves.  He went up-the-rock on one side, and then went back down.  He then turned the motorcycle around, stopped, and then went completely over the rock on another side.  He never touched the ground at any point, and he went through the section faster than most of the other riders.

This is a video of Geoff Aaron riding the second part of the section.  I would have been able to show you the entire section if my camera hadn’t run out of memory!  D’oh!

I stopped at one of the vendors to pickup Balancing Act 4, after the riders all cleared the section.

This older man was parking his new Gold Wing, as I was leaving.  I explained to him that most of the riding was over (it was almost dusk by then).  He seemed dissapointed.  He told me how hard it was to ride his Gold Wing down the dirt road, and then he told me that he was one of the founding members of the Texhoma Trials Club.  OK: if an old school trials rider thinks that the dirt road is difficult, then maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself about my riding it slow.

I headed home, and had a great sleep.

Supermoto is a form of racing that combines on-road, and off-road, on the same track. The racers typically ride dirt bikes with road-racing tires. What if one were to take an SV650 bike to a Supermoto race? It’s too big, right?

Dan Sewell races for CODE4Racing, is sponsored by Twin Works Factory, and teaches for Z2TrackDays. Below are images of Dan racing an SV650 in Supermoto. When does anyone do that? This may be the first time!

The photographer, Joe Salas, gave us permission to use the  images here.  Joe photographs track days, and races, and makes the photos available at 4theriders.com.

www.bodykits.com

This vehicle customization article is by our guest: Robert Lobitz.

When it comes to beautiful things on this amazing planet, there is nothing quite like an attractive and well-defined automobile. It can be just as seductive and exotic as any creature can be, and if it is captured correctly it can inspire instant emotions that no words can fully express. What makes some of these amazing vehicles so incredible is the fact that they have been reshaped to look even better utilizing a little trick called body kits.

Body kits in general are a way for automobile enthusiasts to have control over the appearance of their car or truck and with them they can transform it from its original appearance and help it to take on a new and more luxurious form. You can do this fairly simply on your own with minimal know how, and the result will largely depend upon what you are wanting to do and what you are willing to spend on it.

For example, there are many fantastic body kits that you can purchase that are very inexpensive and can completely transform the way your automobile looks. The drawback is that if it is built out of fiberglass there are some limitations to it. The plus side is that fiberglass is actually quite light, so if weight is a concern then this is a good match for you. The negative is that it is also not very strong. It is sufficient to withstand the vibrations and drag that typical driving will inflict, however if you have any kind of impact at all you might as well not have it in the first place.
A step up, and quite possibly the most popular material used in body kits, is polyurethane. This is a type of material that will withstand a significant amount of impact, and like fiberglass is also relatively inexpensive; the major problem with this kind of compound is the fact that it is so much heavier than any of the other materials.

If it is both light weight, and durability that you are looking for then carbon fiber is the perfect match for you. This is a material that is often used in automobile racing and of all the types it is by far the most attractive to look at, even when it is not painted. In fact, there are some show cars that will use this material for their hoods and will actually leave it unpainted. This is also the most expensive of all the compounds.

Click here to visit www.bodykits.com for the best pricing body kits you can find. This is a perfect way for you to give your automobile a new and exciting look, without having to go out and buy a brand new vehicle.

• At 4:23 the band starts.
• The first guitar solo is at 6:07.
• The keyboards and guitar do a high-speed Baroque-thing simultaneously at 9:55.
• 35:00 is the beginning of I am a Viking. Watch that.
• 44:47 begins an almost 10 minute long guitar solo.

Unfortunately the video’s audio quality is not best, but you can still get the idea of what this was like.

They Were The Opening Act

Almost everyone came for AC/DC, and AC/DC brought everything they had:

• Fake cannons? Check. (They sounded real, and fire shot out of them, until the cannons’ amp blew a fuse, then it was quiet fire shooting out of them.)
• Fake bells? Check.
• Fake TNT? Yes.
• Angus’ school uniform. Yep.
• Angus plays a solo off-the-stage, and in-the-crowd, on some guy’s back? Check.

Yngwie Malmsteen’s band’s props? They have long hair, and he has a piece of tape on his guitar that says “PLAY LOUD” on it.

After That Concert They Were Off The Tour

Something really weird happened; after each AC/DC song there were fewer people in the stadium. The place was almost empty by the time Angus played his solo.

This was a time when Heavy Metal wasn’t played on much of the radio. In my town, major bands played shows at a loss (according to a local union roady). The shows existed to sell records; these days the records exist to sell concert tickets.

There Was Magic At That Concert, And This Video Shows Us How The Magician Does Some Of It

Note: there are some guesses here. If you know more details, then please comment below.

He Played A Solo With His Teeth!

Yeah, but here we can see that he is actually using hammer-ons. There were no teeth harmed in the making of that solo.

His Feedback Moved Through Each Row Of The Crowd!

There appeared to be a standing wave that moved through the crowd from the front of the stage to the back, slowly. In the video, during that sound, the camera focused on the keyboard player. He was slowly twisting a potentiometer. A synthesizer can slowly change the pitch, in a more consistent way, than a guitar player can, but we were all looking at the guitar! (Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!)

This part is a guess. I can’t tell the difference between a mode, where a standing wave creates more volume, and someone cranking up the volume when a specific note plays. One would need to make measurements in different places.

Then At One Point He Held The Guitar In A Specific Spot, And The Feedback Made It Sound Like A UFO!

In this video, Malmsteen holds up the guitar, then looks at the audience, then looks at the guitar. While we are all looking that the guitar (see 55:49), he tweaks a potentiometer on a piece of equipment (see 55:53). Maybe he was tweaking a digital delay.

Weird

We can see Moog Taurus Bass Pedals at the edge of the stage, but I didn’t see him play them during this video, or during the other concert. A Taurus-like analog synthesizer would make an awesome guitar effects device, but they can’t do that out-of-the-box, because they don’t have a place to plug-in a replacement oscillator.

Since the 1980s, I wondered why guitar synths were designed as (mistakenly) glitchy MIDI controllers, when the guitar itself could replace the oscillator, in an analog synth, or a digital representation of one, and that would have no tracking problems at all. I thought that this was my idea, but Wikipedia now tells me that these existed in the 1070′s. They are coming back in style in recent days: the guitar gets digitized, and that gets sent to a digital emulation of an analog-synth.

States Where I Have Worked:

States Where I Rode Motorcycles (Florida was a scooter):

States That I Have Traveled-to:

Countries? I’ve only been to the USA, Canada, and Mexico.

Alabama
Alaska
Arizona
Arkansas        [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked] [Rode]
California      [Traveled]         [Worked]
Colorado
Connecticut     [Traveled]         [Worked]
Delaware        [Traveled]
Florida         [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked] [Rode] (scooter)
Georgia         [Traveled]
Hawaii
Idaho
Illinois        [Traveled]         [Worked] [Rode]

Indiana         [Traveled]                  [Rode]

Iowa            [Traveled]
Kansas          [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked] [Rode]

Kentucky        [Traveled]
Louisiana       [Traveled]
Maine           [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked]
Maryland        [Traveled]
Massachusetts   [Traveled]         [Worked]
Michigan        [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked]
Minnesota       [Traveled]         [Worked]
Mississippi
Missouri        [Traveled]                  [Rode]
Montana
Nebraska        [Traveled]
New Hampshire   [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked]
New Jersey      [Traveled]         [Worked]
New Mexico      [Traveled]
New York        [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked]
North Carolina  [Traveled]
North Dakota
Ohio            [Traveled]         [Worked]
Oklahoma        [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked] [Rode]
Oregon
Pennsylvania    [Traveled]
Rhode Island    [Traveled]
South Carolina  [Traveled]
South Dakota
Tennessee       [Traveled]         [Worked] [Rode]
Texas           [Traveled] [Lived] [Worked] [Rode]
Utah
Vermont         [Traveled]
Virginia        [Traveled]
West Virginia   [Traveled]
Wisconsin       [Traveled]
Wyoming
Washington
Washington D.C. [Traveled]

Looking your best on the open road is an essential part of spring motorcycle riding. Aside of your motorcycle, your apparel is just as important. What you wear is what sets you apart from other riders and in some cases allows you to be identified when you ride out in large groups. Spring riding brings sudden changes in temperatures, so a variety of apparel options is important for a comfortable ride.

1. Motorcycle Jacket

Your jacket is one of the highlights of your motorcycle apparel. Not only does it protect you from the elements, it also provides comfort and style. There are several types of jackets that you can select from based on personal preference and budget. Initially you should look for a jacket that maintains a proper fit. Look for a jacket that is most comfortable as you are sitting down and in the position you typically ride in. Extra room in the shoulders and sleeves that fit you comfortably is also important. A removable liner in your jacket is helpful, especially during changing spring temperatures. You may want to consider an interchangeable jacket that will suffice during both warm and cooler temperatures. Select a jacket that is either waist-level for the summer and maybe a longer below the hip or mid-thigh jacket for cooler ride days. Material options depend on your preference. A popular jacket material is leather. Choose between top grain, split, suede and full-grain leather. You can also try out denim, mesh or waterproof jackets made from breathable Rain-guard to create a barrier between you and the elements.

2. Motorcycle Pants

Keeping your legs covered at all times is important when cycling in the spring. Pants should be an important part of your motorcycle wardrobe. Most people think that leather is the first option for most riders but often takes several wears before you are able to get them to fit to your physique. While leather is one of the most popular choices, there are other styles to choose from for spring riding. Textile pants are easy to wear and are generally comfortable from the moment you put them on – no breaking in required. Motorcycle pants with a Kevlar-weave look less like riding pants and more like traditional jeans –this is more of a contemporary look that is different from the classic leather apparel. Modern motorcycle pants are geared toward making the rider comfortable at all times. Pants that combine a polyester/nylon blend along with leather, still give the look, smell and feel of leather but offers breathable ventilation and support exactly where you need it. A good pair of motorcycle pants should also include zippers and pockets for adequate storage. Sturdy pants that are comfortable and functional at the same time should be your goal when choosing the best motorcycle pants.

3. Helmet

Your helmet is your main source of protection in the event of an accident. It should fit securely but also be breathable for long trips in the spring and distance rides. Choose a helmet that is lightweight but also functions per your riding needs. You may want to consider a dual sport helmet that includes both a face shield and visor, so you can take your bike from dirt to pavement in seconds flat. Proper ventilation and easy vent release is essential in a good helmet. While the helmet serves its safety purpose, it should also be visually appealing. Helmet designs can be custom made to include the color and design of your choice.

4. Gloves

A good motorcycle glove should fit perfectly and feel like it isn’t there. There should be no room for bulky fingers and slippery grips. Gloves are designed to first and foremost protect your palms and fingers in the event you face pavement or terrain. When riding in spring temperatures, your hands can get sweaty. A good, breathable glove will offer you the ventilation and flexibility you need to have a safe ride. You should have your gloves custom sized – this will prevent bunching, unnecessary wear and in some cases skin blisters.

5. Vest

A motorcycle vest represents a fashion statement when you are on your bike. Vests, generally made from leather are the home of patches, designs and embellishments based on clubs, bike associations and motorcycle rallies. Vests can be worn alone in the warm spring months or on top of a jacket and other clothing if the weather is cooler. It can also provide a layer of protection from objects and abrasions when you are on the road. A vest will also serve as a wind-breaker as you are traveling.

Sam is a Harley fanatic and chooses his motorcycle clothing not only for its style but for the safety elements as well.

Here is why it works:

My SV650S, a sportbike, is uncomfortable on my wrists. I need to sell it now. Hopefully to someone who will either love-it, or race-it.

My cruiser, a V-Star, allows me to sit comfortably for hours, but required a windscreen to do so.

My Ducati Monster has ergonomics that are similar to the Ducati Diavel. Anywhere between 45 MPH and 85 MPH provides enough air to literally hold-me-up for hours. I don’t feel like the wind is pushing me, and I don’t feel like I am doing pull-ups. It’s like how I feel sitting behind the windscreen of on my cruiser, even though it looks nothing like that.

The Monster actually works well for cruising, and the Diavel is like a torque-y, massive, Monster.

Journalists are always complaining about adventure bikes that don’t work-well off-road, but naked bikes, and on-road adventure bikes, give the comfort that an aging sportbike rider, who doesn’t want a traditional cruiser, needs. They actually work quite well for cruising.

The Diavel is like nothing out there, but is closest to a V-Max, or Triumph Rocket III, and many folks call those ‘cruisers’, so it fits.

More? Here’s what I think about every motorcycle that I have ever ridden.

This is the controversial Ducati Diavel. The image is by http://www.flickr.com/photos/desmodex/ and is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic.

Here’s my SV650S ABS. We are only riding in the parking lot; Gershwin’s helmet isn’t DOT approved.

My V-Star, with windscreen, after a long ride to Memphis TN.

My Ducati Monster is like a miniature Diavel. Here it is with the world’s largest frame sliders.

• “Evolution is not a law, it’s only a theory.”
• “Evolution is not a fact, it’s only a theory.”
• “Evolution is equivalent to creation theory; they are both theories.”

When creationists say things like that they are using the words “theory”, “law”, and “fact” in a completely different way than how scientists use those words.

Here’s how Ramon Bautista explains the meaning of the scientific words:

“Laws tell you what’s happening… Theory is telling you, or at least trying to tell you, why something happens.

Example:

• law of gravity=what goes up, must come down
• theory of gravity=graviton

For scientists theories are always theories. They can never become laws, and they never become facts. That said, there has never been a single piece of evidence against the theory of evolution; and there has never been a single piece of evidence for creationism. These are very different uses of the word theory.

Frank Steiger

I discovered Frank Steiger’s website only after I wrote my essay. Mr. Steiger covers the same issues— in more depth.

• Frank Steiger: Is Evolution only a theory? 
• Creationism and Pseudo Science by Frank Steiger
• Creationists then sent ignorance-filled emails to Frank Steiger in response. How so? Not a single one addresses any real criticism. In fact, there aren’t any issues that can over-throw evolution. Every piece of relevant evidence— in every scientific discipline— supports evolution. Yes, there are occasional tweaks— such as when Richard Dawkins explained that survival-of-the-fittest is on the gene level, and not at the species-level, but even big-ones like that, only add to our understanding.

I rode with pilot Pat Cannon during the 2001 Highland Village Balloon Festival. Mr. Cannon won the Balloon Federation of America National Championship a number of times, so this was an incredible opportunity to see just how precise balloon piloting can be.

The challenge was to fly a minimum distance, and put a bean bag on a target.

We met at the event’s location for the pre-flight pilot meeting. Balloons are best-piloted during early morning or early evening (the Trey Ratcliff hours), so this was very early in the day.

We participated in the First Flight Ceremony. In my case this involved the pilot saying some words, and pouring champagne on my hair, but I observed other folks participating in another secret version.

We drove to the location, unfolded the balloon, and filled it with hot air (see image above). A number of other pilots followed our chase vehicle, and began their flights from nearby (see image below), but there was nothing special about that location piloting-accuracy-wise. Mr. Cannon chose that location because that’s where he wanted to land at the end of the event. The location chosen was a new development under-construction. The roads where there, and were free of debris, but construction had not yet begun on any of the homes. We used one of the roads like a heliport.

Before preparing to take off, the pilot launched a small black helium balloon called a pie-ball. He used a sextant to follow the pie-ball, and estimated the wind’s speed and direction at various altitudes. (My Google-fu tells me that “pie-ball” is short for “pilot-balloon”.)

The pilot steers the balloon by choosing a direction, and then going to the altitude who’s wind is blowing in that direction. The balloon requires a certain amount of time to get to any chosen altitude, so the pilot needs to plan for that, and the intervening wind vectors, at each step.

Before leaving the pilot told me that we were going to:

1. Fly over Lake Lewisville
2. Make a 90-degree direction-change over the lake
3. Fly to the target, which was here, and then
4. Fly back to our starting place.

That’s exactly what he did:

1. We flew a right-triangle
2. Mr. Pat Cannon tossed his bean bag within 2-feet of the target’s center and then
3. We then returned to the chase vehicle. No chasing required.

My legs were shaking uncontrollably during the first half of the trip. I have an extreme fear of heights. Motorcycle riding in bad weather has helped me cure much of that since then, but I don’t avoid an activity just because it makes me uncomfortable. That’s core to who I am.

One amazing thing about ballooning is that you can hear everything on the ground. Your vehicle is travelling at exactly the speed of the wind. Sound is as clear as if their were no wind at all.

People run out of their houses to see the balloon. This is early morning, so they are half-dressed. They notice that the pilot can see them in their night-wear and then run back into their houses.

Boaters were also on the lake to see the balloons. Pat Cannon brought his basket down to visit some boaters. He was able to have the bottom of the basket skim the water, but our feet never got wet, and I never saw any water on the basket floor. Another balloonist attempted to do that too, and his basket immediately laid-down on its side in the water; he, and his passengers did get wet.

Are angry landowners a risk when landing? Yes. Pat Cannon told me about a landowner that started shooting his balloon as he flew over the shooter’s property. He was not even trying to land there. Mr. Cannon was well-prepared with the two-way radios that pilot’s use, a GPS, and even a mobile phone. The shooter was surprised when the police arrived at the scene. (Robert Munafo told me that people like to shoot trains too.)

Pilot Pat Cannon is an extremely skilled pilot. He has most of the existing pilot endorsements. He flew helicopters for the US Army during the Vietnam War. He is a FAA safety examiner, and he regularly flies Mitsubishi MU-2s for Turbine Aircraft Services, Inc. where he is a Principal.

The Old Homestead

I used to live in the-middle-of-nowhere: no electricity, no running water, no phone, no mobile service, no sewer, etc. The house was built in the 1800s. We lived on the porch, used unleaded-fuel in our Coleman lanterns, flushed the toilet by poring buckets-of-rainwater in, showered on the back porch over a rattlesnake’s home. I showered fast.

I actually attempted to order phone service from the phone company. They told me that they would provide it, if I would pay them to install the telephone poles. Riiiight.

Some animals lived in the walls of the main house, we stayed on the porch, The critters in the walls of the main house were mostly mice, birds, and raccoons: although a black bear did hibernate in the basement the previous Winter: Grizzly-trucking-Adams.

Someone shot a raccoon near the house. It managed to climb into a second-story window, and drag its sorry-self all the way down to the first floor hallway with its intestines trailing behind. Where it died. Bastard.

Our friends from college would spend the weekends out there at the house, and there was so-little light polution, that we would lie on the cars and see man-made satellites with the naked eye.

What can I tell you about roughing it? Peanut butter does not need to be refrigerated.

Fun With Fuel

I would put our trash into a 55 gallon drum, and burn it to make it smaller (yeah, yeah, global warming). There was no trash collection service available. One time I was getting aggressive with the trash tamping, and there were some fuel-filled rags down low, and I was tamping some other trash on top and BOOOOOM! The damned-thing shot raining-fire all over the place! Like the Trash Cannon From Hell. Trash falling here: sidestep. Trash falling there: sidestep.

I had one coworker once, that misjudged the fuse-length on a home-made explosive that he and his buddy were shooting out of their cannon. They wanted it to explode in the sky. It blew a hole in the Post Office. The FBI came to visit, and it was a bad-scene all around.

…and the cow jumped over the fence

Heifer: a female bovine too-young to give birth.
Bullock: a male circumcised bovine, AKA, a steer.

We had heifers living on the land. 50% of the dairy farmers that visited said, “if one cow learns to jump the fence, then all the others will follow her”, and 50% said, “Cows don’t jump fences” I imagined the latter folks wasting a lot of time looking for holes in fences. The heifers at our house would jump, oh yes, and in the morning I would look out at the just-jumped bovines, and say, “Them’s some real heifers.” The heifer owning people? There last name was… wait for it… let the comic-timing be right… Remember the definitions up above? Bullock.

Petting zoos

One night: SLAM!!! “WHEEEEEE! WHEEEE! WHEEEE!” SLAM!!! “WHEEEEEE! WHEEEE! WHEEEE!” I say to my (now-ex) wife: “You open the door, and wait behind it. I’ll hit that thing over the head with this log splitter.” SLAM!!! “WHEEEEEE! WHEEEE! WHEEEE!” She opens the door, and there waits a pet racoon. It just kinda stands there for a minute, and then gets cosy in our bed. Great. OK. The racoon can stay for a little while: the alternative is door slamming, and racoon screaming. This did not last long. Raccoons like to rock-and-roll all night, and sleep every day, and you know what? I had a job to go-to.

There was only one solution; wrap “Rascal” in a blanket, and drive him far enough, that he can’t find his way back. I drove home imaging the little guy going to the very first door that he could find. SLAM!!! “WHEEEEEE! WHEEEE! WHEEEE!” BOOOM!: he then manages to climb into someone’s window, and drag his sorry-self all the way down to the first floor hallway with its intestines trailing behind him.

There goes the neighborhood

Let’s take a step back in this story. Our house had no neighbors since the beginning of time. What happens as soon as we move in? An 18-wheeler mother-trucking-flatbed pulls up with a huntin’ cabin on back, and drops said huntin’ cabin directly across the street, fucking-up my pristine view of our 100% Maple Syrup producing Maple trees. Why? Mr. Bullock got a two-for-one deal on used huntin’ cabins, and really only needed the one.

A few weeks later a family of three moves in. My new neighbor wants to provide for his family: in a place with zero jobs. So, he made a deal with Mr. Bullock: “I fix your fences. You let me live in your extra huntin’ cabin.”

Our neighbors also lacked the comforts-of-home. They did however, have a Honda hooked-up to the TV.

So, the new neighbor tells me how racoon mommas yell bloody murder, but they won’t… actually… attack. He tells me how this momma racoon chose the huntin’ cabin for birthing her babies. So he removed each of the baby racoons one at a time, and then he removed the momma racoon, but he kept one baby there. This baby grew up to be Rascal. I believe that Rascal had a doggy-door that he, and the dog, could use to go in-and-out. He also had a buddy to play with: the dog.

We went camping for our summer vacation. The woman from across the street came to visit:
“Where did you go last week?”
“Camping.”
“Us too.”
“Our cabin had running water and electricity!”
“Us too.”

Momma neighbor gets sick of pretending that “our life is fun just like camping”, and says, “I am going to move in with my parents. You can stay, or you can come”, and that’s how Rascal ended up with no home.

People remember bikers with loud pipes, and stunters on public roads: in a bad way.

That jerk (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) Arnold Schwarzenegger was named AMA Motorcyclist of the Year as a negative award. Really. Rob Dingman promised to never pull that stunt again, but what a waste of the award!  A great motorcyclist lost-out on earning AMA Motorcyclist of the Year, because they used it for a negative-award instead.

Governor Schwarzenegger signed California Bill SB 435, “the EPA label bill”, into law on September 28, 2010. This bill requires an EPA label to be in an easy-to-read location on all exhaust systems for motorcycles built after January 1, 2013. Never mind that these labels are never in easy-to-read locations. Never mind that the label tells law enforcement absolutely nothing about whether any particular exhaust system is actually quiet enough. The baffles in motorcycle exhaust systems are extremely easy to remove. A loud bike with no baffles, but an EPA label, might pass, but a quiet motorcycle without an EPA label would not? This law is that stupid.

Your bike was built before  January 1, 2013, so you are in the clear, correct? Well, those folks with loud motorcycles, that were built before  January 1, 2013, are the reason that this law was deemed necessary in the first place.

Why did they do this? The current laws require the bike to ride past a stationary sound meter at various speeds. Obviously that’s not something that police are going to do when they pull you over, so the AMA wrote model legislation that describes an inexpensive, easy, stationary test, but California’s lawmakers didn’t use it. California Bill SB 435 effectively makes almost all after-market pipes illegal. In some rare cases (read: Harley Davidson soft-tail models) an after-market muffler company might make an EPA labeled pipe, but the testing has to be done for every combination of motorcycle, intake system, and exhaust: not likely.

As goes California, so goes the rest of the country, because most of these great United States’ state lawmakers often don’t write their own laws about which vehicles are legal; they use California’s transportation laws as model-legislation instead. Maine already has a bill proposing this [cough]solution[/cough]. Really.

BILL NUMBER: SB 435	CHAPTERED
	BILL TEXT

	CHAPTER  407
	FILED WITH SECRETARY OF STATE  SEPTEMBER 28, 2010
	APPROVED BY GOVERNOR  SEPTEMBER 28, 2010
	PASSED THE SENATE  AUGUST 30, 2010
	PASSED THE ASSEMBLY  AUGUST 18, 2010
	AMENDED IN ASSEMBLY  AUGUST 9, 2010
	AMENDED IN ASSEMBLY  JUNE 30, 2010
	AMENDED IN ASSEMBLY  JUNE 22, 2010
	AMENDED IN ASSEMBLY  JUNE 15, 2010
	AMENDED IN ASSEMBLY  JUNE 10, 2010
	AMENDED IN ASSEMBLY  JANUARY 11, 2010
	AMENDED IN SENATE  MAY 28, 2009
	AMENDED IN SENATE  APRIL 13, 2009

INTRODUCED BY   Senator Pavley
   (Coauthor: Senator Lowenthal)

                        FEBRUARY 26, 2009

   An act to add Section 27202.1 to the Vehicle Code, relating to
vehicles.

	LEGISLATIVE COUNSEL'S DIGEST

   SB 435, Pavley. Vehicles: pollution control devices.
   (1) Existing federal regulations require a motorcycle manufactured
on and after January 1, 1983, and exhaust emission systems for those
motorcycles, to meet specified noise emissions standards and require
that a label be affixed onto the motorcycle or exhaust emission
system indicating that the motorcycle or exhaust emission system
meets the noise emissions standards.
   This bill would make it a crime for a person to park, use, or
operate a motorcycle, registered in the state, that is manufactured
on and after January 1, 2013, or a motorcycle, registered in the
state, with aftermarket exhaust system equipment that is manufactured
on or after January 1, 2013, that does not have the above label, and
would make a violation of this provision punishable by a specified
fine, thereby imposing a state-mandated local program by creating a
new crime. The bill would require the person to whom a notice to
appear is issued, or against whom a complaint is filed, for the above
violation, to provide proof of correction. The bill would authorize
a court to dismiss the penalty imposed for a first violation if the
person produces proof of correction to the satisfaction of the court.

   (2) The California Constitution requires the state to reimburse
local agencies and school districts for certain costs mandated by the
state. Statutory provisions establish procedures for making that
reimbursement.
   This bill would provide that no reimbursement is required by this
act for a specified reason.

THE PEOPLE OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA DO ENACT AS FOLLOWS:

  SECTION 1.  Section 27202.1 is added to the Vehicle Code, to read:
   27202.1.  (a) Notwithstanding any other law, a person shall not
park, use, or operate a motorcycle, registered in the State of
California, that does not bear the required applicable federal
Environmental Protection Agency exhaust system label pursuant to
Subparts D (commencing with Section 205.150) and E (commencing with
Section 205.164) of Part 205 of Title 40 of the Code of Federal
Regulations. A violation of this section shall be considered a
mechanical violation and a peace officer shall not stop a motorcycle
solely on a suspicion of a violation of this section. A peace officer
shall cite a violation of this section as a secondary infraction.
   (b) A violation of this section is punishable as follows:
   (1) For a first conviction, by a fine of not less than fifty
dollars ($50), nor more than one hundred dollars ($100).
   (2) For a second or subsequent conviction, by a fine of not less
than one hundred dollars ($100), nor more than two hundred fifty
dollars ($250).
   (c) (1) The notice to appear issued or complaint filed for a
violation of this section shall require that the person to whom the
notice to appear is issued, or against whom the complaint is filed,
produce proof of correction pursuant to Section 40150.
   (2) Upon producing proof of correction to the satisfaction of the
court, the court may dismiss the penalty imposed pursuant to
subdivision (b) for a first violation of this section.
   (d) (1) This section is applicable to a person operating a
motorcycle that is manufactured on or after January 1, 2013, or a
motorcycle with aftermarket exhaust system equipment that is
manufactured on or after January 1, 2013.
   (2) Penalties imposed pursuant to this section are in addition to
penalties imposed pursuant to any other applicable laws or
regulations.
   (3) This section does not supersede, negate, or otherwise alter
any other applicable laws or regulations.
  SEC. 2.  No reimbursement is required by this act pursuant to
Section 6 of Article XIII B of the California Constitution because
the only costs that may be incurred by a local agency or school
district will be incurred because this act creates a new crime or
infraction, eliminates a crime or infraction, or changes the penalty
for a crime or infraction, within the meaning of Section 17556 of the
Government Code, or changes the definition of a crime within the
meaning of Section 6 of Article XIII B of the California
Constitution.

Update:

You can find the Woodcraft 4-inch Sliders for Ducati Monster 696/797/1100 here.

Story:

I wrote to Woodcraft: which began an email exchange with company President Eric Wood. Mr. Wood explained that they would be coming out with their standard Woodcraft sliders for Ducati Monsters within a few weeks. He also made an interesting proposition. Woodcraft engineered large four-inch frame sliders for the Penguin School’s rental bikes (Ducati 900s and 969s). They were also tested on a Ducati Monster. Mr. Wood sent images of that bike, so that I would know exactly what I was getting into. He offered to send those. I made a quick-call to the company to order them. They were a little more expensive than the standard Woodcraft sliders on my 2007 Suzuki SV650S ABS, but the price was still reasonable. The person that took my order mentioned that the large four-inch sliders will not be added to the catalog. We may never run across another pair at bike night. That said: if you are interested, then by-all-means contact Woodcraft, and let them know.

Apparently one-pair of these pucks lasted for more-than 25 crashes, and is still in use at the Penguin school.

Here are some features that all Woodcraft sliders share:

• They have solid plastic pucks that will not bend and should not catch (grab traction) on the track.
• The pucks’ mounting bolt is perpendicular to the post. This allows for easy removal of the pucks. Many other sliders will distort over their mounting bolts in an accident. These will not.
• They are exactly the correct length for each application. The slider posts for my Suzuki SV650S ABS were actually different lengths in order to compensate for the fact that the engine mounting bolts are not equal distances from the bikes centerline.

Here is a picture of the jumbo sliders before installation. The slider on the right shows what the parts look like when they are together. The top section of the puck is solid. It is slightly dished in order to mostly cover the post though.

Woodcraft Jumbo Sliders Before Installation, Image © 2010 Paul Danger Kile http://dangerismymiddlename.com

Here is what they look like on the bike. Woodcraft now uses this image of our motorcycle in their online catalog.

2010 Ducati Monster 696 ABS with Woodcraft Slider, Image © 2010 Paul Danger Kile http://dangerismymiddlename.com

Here is my 2007 SV650S ABS with the standard Woodcraft sliders. In this case the puck and post, are clearly visible; the post is completely covered by the massive puck on the 4 inch version.

2007 Suzuki SV650S ABS with Woodcraft Sliders, Image © 2009 Paul Danger Kile http://dangerismymiddlename.com

]]> http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/6828/feed 1 http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/6828 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/dangerismymiddlename-com-Motorcyclists-Destination/~3/dvO_KrlUGM8/7174 http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/7174#comments Thu, 16 Dec 2010 03:37:00 +0000 Paul Danger Kile http://dangerismymiddlename.com/?p=7174 Imagine a world where where:

• You can only use M$-approved software on your computer.
• You can only write in a M$-approved software-language.
• You can only install software on your computer that you purchased at M$’s store, and doing otherwise voids your warranty.
• If you are creating a program that “ridicules public figures”, then M$ will censor it.
• If you are a programmer, then M$ will take a cut of all of your software sales, except for the software that is installed on a computer that has already been altered in a warranty-violating-way.
• Programmers are not allowed to use any “cross-platform” tools. Your program will only run on M$’s computers, or you will have to write it again from scratch.
• M$ will dictate your mobile phone carrier.

Now replace “M$” with “Apple” and “computer” with “device” and you have exactly where Apple started-out with the iPhone. This behavior would be illegal if Apple dominated a market: they don’t. Microsoft got in trouble for giving volume discounts to computer-manufacturers, and bundling IE with Windows. Compare that to Apple’s list above. (Still not sure about the above? Read Daniel Lyons’ Newsweek.com article for more information.)

Vic Gundotra: “If we did not act, we faced a draconian future where one man, one company, one carrier would be our future.”

I don’t know where this image comes from, but it says Gizmodo on it, so I it is linked to Gizmodo.com Hopefully Gizmodo won’t mind.”

For-sure my problem here is 100% with the actions of the company, and not with the product itself. My friend brought an iPod with him when he came to visit us a few years ago. We watched TV shows on it, and it was really cool. I asked my manager (at my-last-position) for an Apple OSX box if one was available, because putting that UI on a *NIX machine is really cool, and I worked at a Mac lab while in college, and I ran a Mac emulator on my Amiga, and, I think that the iPad is a good choice for non-technical folks. My problem is not with the product itself.

But Apple’s choices are an attack on computer programmers. In some cases programmers spent incredible time-and-money creating products, only to have Apple say, “no you cannot sell your product for use on our handheld computer.”

In the video below, the folks from AllThingsD.com, a site that is associated with The Wall Street Journal, interview Andy Rubin, the father of Android, about Apple, sort-of. Would they expect Steve Jobs to defend Android? Of course not.

It’s otherwise a great video, that shows-off some of Google’s future products, including:

• A future Motorola tablet with the Nvidia Tegra 2 T20 dual-core processor and Android 3.0 Honeycomb.
• Near Field Communication (NFC) via Samsung Nexus S handheld computer (smart phone)
• A vector-based version of Google Maps with caching on the Android computer.

Etc.

Collin Edwards II and children threw t-shirts at the 2008 Indianapolis MotoGP. This is one of the things that Edwards does for fans.

Indianapolis Motor Speedway sent us this teleconference back in April. I am posting it now, because the Red Bull Indianapolis GP is this week.

Ben Spies in Qatar 2010. This image is by Scott Jones (http://picasaweb.google.com/motoracereports). It is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported.

HOST: Welcome, everyone to this Red Bull Indianapolis GP teleconference with American MotoGP stars Colin Edwards and Ben Spies as our guests today. A little bit of background on Colin and Ben. Colin is from Houston, he’s in his ninth season in MotoGP and finished fifth in the MotoGP World Championship standings last season. It was the best performance by a rider not on a factory team. Colin won the Superbike World Championship in 2000 and 2002 before climbing to MotoGP in 2003. Ben is from Longview, Texas. He will make his full-time MotoGP debut this season after winning the Superbike World Championship in 2009 as a rookie. And he came to Superbikes after winning three consecutive AMA Superbike titles from 2006 to 2008. Both Colin and Ben this season will ride for the Monster Tech 3 Yamaha team – we like to call them Tex 3, because it’s Team Texas for both of these guys – and the season starts April 10 with the Grand Prix of Qatar and also includes the third annual Red Bull Indianapolis GP Aug. 27-29 at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. We’re really excited to have both guys on today. Colin, Ben, thanks for joining us.

BEN SPIES: Thank you.

COLIN EDWARDS: What’s up, man? I couldn’t wait.

HOST: Colin, going into this season, how do you think team Tech 3 is set up? What’s it looking like?

EDWARDS: I think we’re looking good. Ben and I have been friends for a while. I actually sent him a text at the end of last year saying like, “Wait, maybe don’t come this year.” We had some engine issues going on last year with a bit of a horsepower deficit. But really surprised this year. Yamaha has come up with good stuff. The bike is running really well. Chassis are working good. So testing has been really good, so I’m really looking forward to it.

HOST: Ben, you’ve had a strong preseason of testing. What’s been the most surprising thing for you in your transition from MotoGP to World Superbike? Not necessarily the most challenging thing, but the thing that’s caused you to stand back and say, “Whoa, I didn’t expect that?”

SPIES: Not a whole lot of things. The overall speed of the guys is obviously another level. They’re just flat-out faster guys. And trying to work with that, trying to push myself to new limits. Just the way the bike works, the way the tires work, the amount of grip the tires do have. There’s just a lot of learning curves. But I wouldn’t say there was one thing that just jumped out that was a big surprise. But there were a lot of changes. As I said, it was just faster guys and different machinery. It’s been one big kind of learning curve, for sure.

CHRIS JONNUM: I did want to know how you guys enjoyed doing that little film (“Mancation”) for Yamaha and if that was something you enjoyed, and if you would do something like that again.

EDWARDS: You first, Ben. Fire away.

SPIES: Yeah, it was good. I’m definitely not the loudest personality in the paddock, and I have a little trouble throwing on the game face for the acting. Colin, on the other hand, I think he needs to, when he’s done racing, go into acting because he’s definitely into it and pretty good at it. It was fun. We went out there and crammed it all into a day and had one little incident that was pretty funny and got to spend some time and have some good laughs. So overall, it was good.

EDWARDS: My turn? Yeah, it was good. It was fun. We had an absolute ball with it. None of us knew what was going on until we showed up and they said, “OK, Colin, you’re the over-the-top, annoying, loud guy. I was like, “OK, I’ll give it my best.” It turned out all right. We had a good time with it.

JONNUM: What are your thoughts on the relatively late start this season in combination with the lack of testing? Do you feel particularly eager to get the season started, and how prepared are you?

SPIES: I’m excited. It’s definitely been a long, long break from racing. The testing, OK, we don’t have a lot of testing, and being a rookie it’s hard. But it is what it is, and I’m ready to get to the track and race. I’m a little ahead of where I thought I was going to be entering the year, and I think we’re in a good position to keep learning and keep moving up. But we also have some big new challenges ahead of us going to some new tracks and not knowing, and just the combination of riding with these guys. But it’s been good. Colin’s been a super-big help. I think this year is going to go really good. We’re definitely competitors. We want to beat each other. We want to beat everybody out there, but I think we both understand racing against the guys we’re racing against, if we can work with each other a little bit to make the bike a little bit better, even though we’re racing against each other in the meantime, if it’s racing fourth and fifth and sixth and making the bike better, it’s better than racing ninth and 10th and holding information from each other. So I think we’re going to be good with sharing information trying to make the overall package better and dukeing it out on the track. Again, we want to beat each other as bad as anybody else, and I think that’s going to help me, at least with the lack of testing time I’ve had.

EDWARDS: Yeah, as far as me, I was ready to go racing back in January. I didn’t want any testing time. I’ve been on this bike for I don’t know how long. The new guys coming up, with Ben and Simoncelli and Bautista, I don’t know if it hindered, but definitely didn’t get all the time we normally got. But at the end of the day, Ben made, he’s surprised everybody and learned pretty quick. I don’t think it’s hurt him too bad. And you know, let’s just go racing. I’m ready. The testing is testing, and the racing is when you’ve got to lay your balls on the chopping block.

LARRY LAWRENCE: How close will your machine be to the factory Yamahas that Rossi and Lorenzo will be racing.

EDWARDS: Hey, Larry, how’s it going? Yeah, that’s a good question. Basically, this year probably would be the closest they’ve ever been. You know, being with those guys on track, but not just them, but getting behind Pedrosa or Stoner, getting behind some of the other guys, as well, I’m not saying the bikes are exactly the same. But I think they’re a lot closer than they’ve ever been. That’s about all we can really ask for, being a sister team. When you look at the speed charts, we’re right there. Everybody’s running good. I think all 18 bikes are running within 4K (km/h) or something like that. I think it’s a good thing. The six engines all year, I think it’s evened out the amount of power you can actually put out and keep the thing together. So I think everybody’s just scrunched up a little bit more.

LAWRENCE: I understand this may be the last year of the 800cc formula before they move to a new formula with 1000cc. Maybe both of you can touch on what your feelings are moving to the 1000s and if you feel it’s a positive thing.

SPIES: I think for me and Colin, for numerous reasons, being size, a Superbike background, probably I think our more natural tendency is to ride a bike, 1000 is better overall for us. I think for the fan base it creates better racing. With the 800s, it’s just a completely different style. When you pass people, if you want to keep the flow of racing fast and keep the lap time up, you really have to set up passes a long time in advance. It’s almost like a slingshot pass. When you’re on a 1000, you can almost get in there, brake deep, stop it, fire it out. You’ve got all the sliding, the bucking, more torque. I just think it creates better racing just to watch the riders. It also makes passing opportunities, easier passes to happen more places around the track. And I think that creates better racing, for sure. I’m looking forward to it. I’m hoping everything keeps going through and that’s what happens, and not just because I think it’s better for me, but I think it’s better, just in general. It’s MotoGP; it needs to be 1000cc. And I think the racing will get better, for sure.

EDWARDS: I still remember the days when we didn’t have any traction control and it was all in your wrist and your butt and what you felt. And not a day went by when you didn’t ask for more power, more power. So I’m just going to go back to that. Especially if they’re talking about taking away the electronics, we have to go to 1000. I don’t see any way of riding these 800s, with the amount of corner speed we’re carrying and the actual power they deliver, without electronics these things would be quite violent. Go back to 1000s, get more of the old-school sliding, smoke coming off the tire, and have a little bit of fun with it. For me, I think it’s the right move.

LAWRENCE: Any particular races or events you’re looking forward to this year?

SPIES: There’s a lot of tracks I’m looking forward to that I haven’t been to. Japan is one of them. Just a different place. Even though I’ve raced at Laguna many times and raced at Indy once, it’s always good to race in front of your home crowd. Now I’ve actually felt that racing in a European series, come back to when it was Miller. It wasn’t as big of a crowd as when you’d go to Spain, but when you got the home boys rooting you on, it’s a good feeling. And it’s a different feeling. And Laguna Seca for me, it’s always been a pretty good track for me. You’ve got to pick and choose when you really go hard, and there are some weeks where you don’t have that pace and you’re searching, and you’ve still got to ride your butt off. You hope everything is a little bit easier when you get to the home races, and it’s going to be one of those tracks where we’ve got decent pace. And if we do, then you pull the pin and lay it all down and try to represent for your home country. In saying that, all the top eight riders in the championship do that every weekend, too, but you always have that little bit more motivation when you’ve got your fans cheering you on. So I’m looking forward to Laguna, for sure.

EDWARDS: Myself, I’m looking forward to Donington. Oh, wait: We ain’t going to Donington (laughter). Honestly, you know it will be Laguna and Indy. Let’s say future-cast that you’re building up momentum to or probably have in the back of your head. But like Ben said, every weekend we show up, and we show up and run the Super Bowl. A lot of these countries only have one Grand Prix, and that’s the way it goes. So you’ve got to get geared up week in and week out. Laguna and Indy, they’re home races, they’re a bit special, to answer that question.

TOBY MOODY: (First part of question cut off due to transmission problem) … you’ve only had six days of testing this winter. Is there much crossover between the two of you, the other side of the garage? Are you pretty free-flowing with information, Colin, toward Ben?

EDWARDS: Absolutely. I can remember conversations we’ve had about braking styles and what we do differently maybe on a Grand Prix bike compared to a Superbike, and why I think Valentino is what he is and what he does differently on a bike. We talk about this stuff, just to throw it out there. You know, throw it against the wall, and whatever sticks, sticks, and what doesn’t, doesn’t. Just trying to help him out any way I possibly can.

SPIES: It’s the same for me. I honestly don’t have nearly as much data logged in my head from the GP side of things. And it might be a good thing that I don’t have some of that stuff lingering in the back of my head and everything I learn is kind of new stuff. It might not always be the right thing. But it’s a different opinion sometimes. Maybe some of it’s right; maybe some of it’s wrong. My whole feel is I’d much rather work close with somebody and try to make the package three-tenths a lap, four-tenths a lap quicker a lap and if I just got to worry about beating … even if that helps him or if it helps me, and we’re trying to fend off on each other, if that moves us up four positions compared to everybody else, than that’s a big deal. So I’m not afraid to talk about it. You’ve still got to twist your wrist when it comes to Sunday, anyways, so the guy that’s supposed to beat each other is going to win, and that’s just how it is. But I’m definitely not afraid to share information and try to make the bike better and things like that. So I think we’re pretty open about that. But when Sunday comes, we go for it. That’s how racing is. I think it will be good.

DAVID EMMETT: I’d like to start on tires. When we spoke at Valencia, you said the biggest change was getting used to the Bridgestones. Do you feel you’re any closer to understanding the Bridgestones, and can you talk about the Bridgestones that you were riding and the Pirellis you were using in Superbikes?

SPIES: The biggest difference is that Bridgestones have a lot of grip, and the warming procedures are just different between the two tires and something you have to get used to. I think I’m getting closer to the limits of the tires. Definitely not there yet, because we’re not quickest. So there’s definitely more time in it. Whether I can get to that limit or not, that’s the question. But there’s definitely more in it. But I feel like we’re getting closer. The way the tires react, once they lose the grip, I feel pretty good. After 10 or 15 laps, I feel like we’re getting more out of the tire. When the tire comes from the warm-up procedure and it gets to maximum temp and the grip is at the max level, I don’t think I’m at that limit yet. I don’t think I’ve found that. But once it makes a drop, I think I’m better on. But that’s just still learning, and it’s going to take more time. That’s the biggest difference with the tires. Now I don’t think I have figured them out completely. It might take a little bit. Once we do figure it out, it’s how fast can I go on them?

EMMETT: This is your first night race at Qatar.

SPIES: Yes.

EMMETT: How did you find the test that you did three weeks ago?

SPIES: It was OK. It was definitely different. It took me definitely a couple of hours to get use to the lights. The speed perception is definitely a little bit quicker than the day just because of the shadows. When you go through the turns, you definitely feel like you’re going a bit faster than during the day. It is a little bit different, but it’s not a mind-blowing experience. And it’s nothing that if it was during the day I could do this much better or whatever. It’s just different. It’s just like riding in the rain: It’s the same for everybody. I’m looking forward to it. It’s just cool; it’s different. I’ll definitely be more comfortable. I won’t waste as much time during the race weekend as I would have if I had never ridden in it. Glad we got to test in it, and I think it’s going to be good, and I’m looking forward to it.

EMMETT: Both of you crashed around 11 p.m. in the Qatar test, and Nicky went down during the test. Valentino asked for the race to be moved forward, for the race to be raced earlier a couple of hours. Do you think that’s a good idea?

EDWARDS: Usually Valentino gets what he asks for (laughter). I don’t know. That particular night, the humidity, the temperature, something was just perfect at the moment that the Bridgestone front did not like. There were five of us that went down within 30 minutes at the exact same corner. They asked me at the track, “Is there moisture coming through the ground?” I was like: “Dude, we’re in the desert. How is moisture coming through the ground?” So I don’t know what it was. We looked at the tires after; that left front didn’t look like it was working in that temperature, humidity, whatever it might have been. Although after that, it seemed to work OK. So I don’t know. A little bit of a Twilight Zone thing was going on there in that particular 30 minutes. But we’re moving forward, moving forward. At the end of the day, we’re all going to be riding the same thing, and I probably won’t be racing that tire, anyways, so I’m not worried about it.

EMMETT: Would you rather race during the day or at night, Colin?

EDWARDS: I’m the guy who wears a dark shield in the rain, so the worse I see, the better I ride. We could turn half the lights off, and it would be better that way. But I like the night race. I grew up racing Friday night motocross races under the lights every Friday night. And I was faster than when I couldn’t see the ruts. So night racing, no problem. I enjoy it.

EMMETT: The history of people coming up to MotoGP from Superbikes has not been what people have expected, certainly in the early years. Colin, you’re the one person who has stuck it out and been successful. Ben looks perhaps like the first rider to be really successful after you, Colin. How have you managed to stick around, Colin? Have you had to change your style? Ben, can you talk about the way that you’re adapting?

EDWARDS: I think there’s one common factor here: We’re both from Texas. It must be something in the water down here. Obviously, when I came over in Grand Prix, what’s really hard is to come over … riding two black, hard round wheels on a motorcycle; it looks just like our Superbikes do. It’s a real hard pill to swallow, to say: “You know, I’m World Champion. I beat all these guys, and you come over here and it’s like, “Whoa, you’ve got to figure out how to ride this bike differently.” I would say my first year, maybe halfway through my second year, I was a little bit stubborn about changing some of my style because what worked on a Superbike, I thought was going to work. Well, it didn’t. These things like a lot of momentum, a lot of load, a lot of even load, front and rear. Once you figure that out and get rid of some old habits, but it’s hard to get rid of those old habits. That’s where Ben is going to excel. Even though he had three years back here and a year on Superbikes in the world stuff, I think he’s crossed over quick enough, he’s still young enough to adapt a lot faster. You know that saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” that’s a saying for a reason. It was hard there in the beginning, but once you kind of get your head around it, you do have to adapt, you do have to do some different things. Then it becomes pretty easy. You just swallow your pride and start learning again.

SPIES: For me, I’m trying everything I can to be as fast as I can and be as close as I can and beat everybody else. And I think one thing that has helped me is when I came over, after riding the bike at Valencia and the Valencia test, I really kind of sat down and said what I think and what I thought I knew and do know how to go fast on a Superbike, it’s not the same. Until you ride a GP bike to a certain level and see what those guys are doing on it, you realize you can’t do what you want to do like you do on a Superbike and make it go fast. I don’t know how far I’m going to go and how the differences that are going to happen from now until three races in or after the season, or if there are going to be any more improvements. I have no clue. But I think at least what has helped me in my transition so far is that I came in and said I know I need to change, I know this isn’t going to work, and I’ve got to figure out how to make it work. So I kind of just cleared the chalkboard coming in. And the credentials I’ve had, I’m trying to not just forget about, but trying to be open-minded to new things. There are so many times I go through a section of corners and my lap time is minus point-two, and it felt the slowest thing through there, and the next lap I try to rip it through there, and I’m plus-two. There are just different things that are better on the overall lap time and not just for one turn. So it’s hard, that’s where I think, at least for me, it made it a little bit smoother knowing that I’ve seen so many people not change stuff, and it’s hurt them. I think you’ve got to be pretty open-minded to make the jump.

EMMETT: You’ve basically swapped with James Toseland. Have you spoken to him about the M1, and have you spoken to him about the R1?

SPIES: No. I haven’t talked. I saw him at the last Portugal race before he tested for the first time, and that was pretty much it.

DEAN ADAMS: Greetings, fellow Americans. Colin, I see on the invitation to this fine teleconference that you are 36 years old. 36.

EDWARDS: Dude, I’m getting old.

SPIES: Daaaaaang.

ADAMS: I’m not going to bring up how you promised your father and I that you were going to retire at 30, and I’m not going to bring up when you later changed it to 32, but I’m just curious, the number 36, how do you look at your age, or do you not ponder it?

EDWARDS: Well, dude, I’ve got a few more mouths to feed than when I was 30. College tuition, you know, frickin’ Cocoa Krispies to have in the pantry. I’ve got to buy all of this crap now, so I’ve got to keep racing.

SPIES: Forty-two percent tax bracket.

EDWARDS: Yeah, exactly. I think whenever I made that decision, man, that was back in the 500 days. Guys were getting snapped in half, left and right. Careers were quite a bit shorter than they are now. Now we’ve got the luxuries of traction control and these awesome Bridgestone tires and great bikes that Yamaha is building. We’ve got all these luxuries that seem to be more rider-friendly, let’s say. So I think it’s done nothing but extend the life of a rider. But at the same time, man, I had one of my best seasons at 35. I still feel motivated. I’m still just as eager to get on a race bike. On the other hand, if I stayed here 24 hours a day, my wife probably would kick me out, so I’ve got to come up with something to do.

MATTHEW MILES: Colin, what’s your view on the new M1 engine spec?

EDWARDS: We’ve just got a lot more bottom end. Last year, we were struggling so bad with just having a little bit of pop off the corner. Well, basically we didn’t have any. Your line was so critical, trying to keep the RPM up, trying to keep it in the power. We had to play a lot with gearing just to get the RPM where we wanted it. But then again, once tires started going off, you started having to run some crazy lines just to try to keep it in the power. Whereas now, I think it was the first time I’ve been on the Yamaha 800 that you can actually make a little mistake, you can run it in a little bit deep, you can square a corner off here and there. We’ve got that bottom end to help us out. To me, that’s the biggest difference. Chassis feels very much the same. Everything else feels pretty much identical to what it was last year. We’ve got a lot more bottom end. And that transfers into the top, the top end, we’re getting to it much quicker and we’re running out of it better.

MILES: Have you lost any top end?

EDWARDS: No, I don’t think we’ve lost any top end. I think we’re the same. We’ve only been to Malaysia and Qatar, but I think it’s roughly about the same, maybe a little better. But we definitely haven’t lost any.

MILES: Do you think six engines are realistic for the entire season? Are you going to have to give up anything in practice, for example, to make those limits?

EDWARDS: Can I answer that in November? (laughter) I know what we’ve been running. I know how we’ve been running the bike. Yamaha, they don’t mess around and run the bike weak and turn it up for a race or turn it up for practice or turn it down for a race, or whatever. They pretty much test what a race setting is going to be. They want as much information as they can get, and we haven’t had any problems. Knock on wood. I think six engines, we can do it. Yes, are we going to have to shuffle around a bit and play with which engines get what time. Sure, we’re going to have to. I think everybody is going to have to do that. But I think we’ll manage.

MILES: Ben, is the bike you’re riding significantly different from the bike you rode at Valencia?

SPIES: Yeah, the same thing Colin said. The bottom end is definitely an improvement. The chassis wasn’t a problem there. I don’t have a whole lot of time on the bike, but the bottom end was a huge, huge difference. And overall, I think the package is just much better.

MILES: Regarding your cycling, are you racing Cat I yet?

SPIES: Yeah, actually I’m a II now, so I’m racing with the I’s and II’s. Had a race last week and got 15th. I was pretty happy with that. I was actually like sixth with a K to go, and we led out my sprinters, and that was pretty fun. It’s amazing. You start riding with some better guys, and it’s like anything: You ride with better guys, and it picks your game up. You always want to be better and kind of make that next jump. So I’m definitely suffering a little bit more than I used to.

MILES: Are you going to do any races outside of Texas?

SPIES: Yeah, I want to do a couple of Grand Fondas this year in Italy just for fun. Get some guys over from Texas and have some fun. But it’s one of those things, genetically and all that, how I’m built. I’m no Tour de France guy or anything like that, but I have fun with it and am realistic with it. So it’s a good time.

TOBY MOODY: Question for Colin. We covered the six engines for the whole season. It’s about three races per engine. How different does the 2010 engine feel compared with a wide-open engine from a couple of years ago. What is that type of difference?

EDWARDS: Are we comparing this engine to a 990?

MOODY: No, to the very first 800s.

EDWARDS: Oh, gosh, the very first 800, that thing felt like it was about to drop a big-end bearing. Everywhere you went, you shut the throttle off. That was one of the first things, going from the 990 to the 800, you shut the throttle, and it was just lock-up and felt like it wanted to lock up all the time. Not as much inertia, rotating mass. It just felt strange. To get back to the point, this engine, yeah, it feels a lot better. It definitely feels … We’ve got fuel down, as well, from the first time we started 800s. It’s credit to the guys who are doing all the wizardry back at Yamaha. They’ve got this running strong, and we don’t have any fuel consumption problems. Yeah, we are left with very minimal fuel at the end of a race, but it’s definitely breathing, it’s definitely running a lot better than that first 800.

CHRIS JONNUM: Both of you came to the class through World Superbike, and most of the rest of the grid is coming through 125s and 250s. This year we’ve got a new class of Moto2, taking the place of 250s. What are your thoughts on the class and how good of a preparation it’s going to be for the premier class?

EDWARDS: Man, I’m excited about it, to be honest with you. You’ve got a bunch of kids that have been bred on two-strokes pretty much their entire lives, pocket bikes, 125s. And then you just throw a wrench and say this is what you have to ride now. I think, looking at the testing results, we’re already kind of seeing some guys that have adapted to the four-stroke and some that haven’t yet. So it’s going to be interesting. I’ve always enjoyed the 250 race. Whereas now, I’ll say the Moto2, and I think it’s going to be that much more enjoyment for the weekend, seeing who can crack that nut.

SPIES: I’m looking forward to it. Same thing. It’s always good watching a 250 race. There’s always a whole bunch of jumping off the couch and yelling and can’t believe those guys are doing what they’re doing, but also believe the change is going to be good. I really don’t know what to think of it. We really haven’t got to see those bikes in person go, but it’s going to be interesting. It’s a change that’s needed. We’ll see how it works out. It’s hard for me to say anything because I really don’t know much about them and haven’t got to see them in person yet.

DEAN ADAMS: Colin, any sense of the workload behind the scenes by Yamaha to prepare for the new six-engine rule? It’s got to be an enormous effort for a reduction in engine numbers like that.

EDWARDS: It’s strange, because I know how many engines I ran last year. I know how many engines it takes to get through a season under normal circumstances. Not that we’re completely killing an engine, but pieces have to be replaced and made new again. You don’t just throw the whole engine. But at the end of the day, to have six, let’s say, sealed engines, man, that’s enormous amount of development goes into materials, all the dyno time they had to spend. I was talking with a few of the big wigs at Malaysia and asked them how was the vacation, and they just looked at me like I was stupid. They haven’t had any vacation. They’ve been working hard. I think the spec that we’re running, they’ve obviously been thinking about it for a while. It wasn’t all done in the winter. We had this rule, was it the middle of last year. They’ve had plenty of time to get it going. Is it going to work? I don’t know. I think Yamaha is going to look awesome. You look at some of the other factories and what they’re running, I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait until November and see who needs to use more than six engines.

DAVID EMMETT: Colin, one more question for you. We’ve been talking about the engines, and you said the engine spec is a lot more closer now than perhaps it’s ever been. We haven’t seen a satellite rider win since Toni Elias in Portugal in 2006. Do you think it could happen this year?

EDWARDS: Absolutely. You’ve got, I would say the top four guys, but Pedrosa hasn’t done a damn thing in the last couple of tests. You’ve got the top three guys. It’s going to be difficult; I ain’t going to lie to you. Anybody that’s going to bet against Valentino’s got their head screwed on wrong. But it’s definitely a possibility. Like I said, this is the closest our bikes have ever been to factory spec, so if there was ever a year it was going to flat-out happen, this is definitely one of those years.

EMMETT: Is it going to be you or Ben?

EDWARDS: I don’t know, man. I would love to say it’s going to be me. But if Ben does it, I’m not going to be disappointed.

SPIES: I think we’ll be having a beer with each other, whoever does it, that’s for sure. (laughter).

HOST: With that, we will conclude the teleconference. Colin, Ben, thanks so much for giving us 45 minutes of your time, and we wish both the best of luck in Qatar. And we look forward to seeing in August at Indy.

2010 Ducati 696 ABS ridden by Paul Danger Kile and Dr. Kay Ann Kile MD

• $9,995 MSRP is expensive compared to it’s closest big-four competitor’s models. That said, this is my favorite bike ever, and much less expensive than many dissimilar models.
• It is incredible easy to turn. It makes me think “this bike is telepathic, and goes where I think it should.” Are you bad at u-turns? Maybe it’s not all your fault? This bike helps.
• The seat is comfortable for a 5’9″ 220 lb. man. It reminds me of a Gold Wing in the way that my body interfaces with the machine.
• I never feel like I am putting weight on my wrists, and I never feel like I am doing pull-ups (between 0 and 85 MPH).
• The levers are adjustable, and my hands do not tire when using them.
• The bike is very short for a sporty bike, but possibly too-tall for some people that are five-foot-tall and shorter.
• The forks are not adjustable in any way, although they work for my 220 lbs. on the road: the track is probably going to be a different story.
• The shock is adjustable for pre-load only.
• It was initially difficult to use the sidestand while on the bike (due to its short length), but I can use the back of my boot to get it down.
• The battery is extremely difficult to access. Make sure that you install trickle charger wiring the first time that you do access it.
• The passenger footpeg holders look too large (they are functionally-fine, this is an artistic-design comment), but my 8 year old is occasionally a passenger, so they will stay.
• It is sometimes difficult to read the speedometer in bright sunlight.
• The bike needs (and now has) frame sliders.
• The bike needs luggage.
• I wish that more of the metal were the same color (except for the trellis frame, that _should_ be painted). Ducati lets many metals be their natural, non corroded, color. Apparently this is so that the magnesium parts on the more-expensive models stand out. In other words: it’s a tradition.
• The inside of the hubs rust (they are hollow). The rear brake’s return spring rusts.
• The acceleration is slower below 4500 RPM (but quicker than the other bikes in this list). The word “rocket” comes to my mind between 4500 and 8000 RPM.
• I hate all of those stickers the trellis frame. The stickers are annoying on most bikes, but some states have proposed laws about leaving the emissions stickers where they are, and I don’t want to.
• The English-language chapters in the manual replace “,” with “.”, and “.” with “,”. This is how it’s done in many countries: “1,000,000.5″ (one-million-point-five) is written as “1. 000.000,5″. It’s correct, but confusing to Americans.
• The manual has errors:
  • Redline at 800 RPM? I think not. They need to multiply that by 10.
  • The manual warns about leaving the headlight on, but also touts the bike’s run-down protection feature. I am nitpicking here.

2004 V-Star 650 Classic

This is a great cruiser for long distance. I spent the most time on this one. I added a fairing (to avoid the doing pull-ups feeling that you get when your upper body becomes a sail-in-the-wind) and hard luggage.

Paul Danger Kile’s 2004 Yamaha V-Star 650 Classic, at The Art of the Motorcycle: Memphis.

2007 Suzuki SV650S ABS

The non-S version is a baby bear bike; it is “just right” for most folks in every way. It’s a sportbike, but with a v-twin engine. I ride the S version: which goes a long-way towards explaining why I am happy to ride the Monster 696. I intended to install a tubular handlebars on here, but did not.

Gershwin Kile’s first motorcycle ride: we practiced in the parking lot that day.

2007 SV650S ABS

Harley Davidson Night Train

The Night Train is a Harley Softail model with a black crinkle-finish on the engine. The fit-and-finish is excellent. It pulls like a tractor at low RPMs, but costs around 2.5 times more than the V-Star 650. I did not purchase this one.

Harley Davidson VRSCR Street Rod

The Street Rod has mid-mount controls, inverted forks, and it is taller than a V-Rod. It was the sportiest non-Buell HD ever, but not as exciting as the SV650 or Monster. It also suffered from that I-could-buy-two-motorcycles-for-the-price-of-this-one issue. That’s my opinion; most Harley Davidsons are expensive, but obviously enough people desire them to justify the prices. I did not purchase this one. This model is no-longer available. The bike in the video has a custom exhaust system.

Kawasaki Eliminator 125

The Eliminator is fun, and inexpensive, but small. I rode this during an MSF course. The name “Eliminator” refers to drag racing, but this is not a fast bike.

Kawasaki Eliminator 125, image by Wikimedia user Museo8bits, licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

Suzuki GZ250 Marauder

This one is also fun, and inexpensive, but small. I rode this during an MSF course. The new TU250 is prettier.

Scooters?

My wife and I rented scooters in Fort Lauderdale. I am not sure what model they were. I like automatic transmissions in concept, but CVT transmissions are not as exciting as dual-clutch transmissions, regardless of engine size.

Gershwin Kile’s first scooter ride: Gershwin Kile, Paul James, and Amy James: KYMCO is a sponsor of James Gang / Hoban Bros. Racing. They provide the pit bikes. The photo was taken during the 2009 AMA Pro roadraces at Heartland Park Topeka.

Harley Davidson Biases

In the plus column

• Great build quality.
• Beautiful Bikes.
• Paul James Harley Davidson’s Director of Communications is extremely generous with his fans. There are videos, articles, images, and essays, about Paul James’ and Jeff Johnson’s race team (James Gang / Hoban Bros.) from in-the-pits and on-the-track. This does make me think positive thoughts about HD.

In the minus column

• One of the salespeople at a Texas HD dealer was only willing to sell me a Heritage Softail. He showed me a picture of his girlfriend, and told me that women like-that only date HD riders. Bad experiences affect our feelings about the brand.
• At another Texas dealer they said that I must have broken my defective goggles by mistreating them after admitting that they had quality issues with that particular product. HDs are so desirable that bad salespeople can still get sales. (Does this belong in the plus column?)
• Expensive
• Buell, Buell, Buell, Buell: did I mention what they did to Buell? Some of the HD dealer salespeople that I met apparently hated Buell. HD forced decisions on Buell. HD killed Buell instead of selling the engineering, branding, etc., to another company. Yes, Buell’s market share was low, but that wasn’t entirely Buell’s fault.
• The exclusivity attitude that some riders have. HDs are extremely comfortable, and easy to ride bikes, but some owners think that they can only be ridden by big bad bikers. (Wait… does this belong in the plus column?)
• The 100% American branding of a product that is assembled from parts that are manufactured all over the world: even by some Japanese companies. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)
• Harley Davidson bought MV Agusta, improved their process engineering, and then sold the company: presumably at a loss. That’s right, Harley Davidson briefly owned the world’s most beautiful superbike, and offered it for $18,500 MSRP, which is competitive with the big-4′s prices (Honda, Suzuki, Yamaha, Kawasaki). If you suspect that the company is being run by a guy from the air conditioning business, then you are correct. I leave you with the F4: a bike that I may never get to ride, because it won’t be part of any HD US demo fleet.

Italians are mad at Ducati when Casey Stoner wins (because he beat Rossi), and they are mad at Ducati when Rossi wins (because the Italian bike lost). This will apparently fix that.

Or maybe not: “…if he comes here and he’s not winning, [then] the Italians are going to burn the factory down!” (Nicky Hayden, September 2010 Roadracing World, page 50)

Valentino Rossi in Qatar 2010: image by ScottJones.net/MotoRaceReports. This file was licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported license.

But he just promised to stay!

I really didn’t believe that this was going to happen during the 2010 silly season. On the one hand: the rumor has been going-around for quite some time. On the other hand: Rossi recently announced that he would retire with Yamaha.

It reminds me of an interview with former NY Governor Mario Cuomo (I don’t remember the source). The interviewer kept pressing Governor Cuomo to announce his candidacy for President of the United States. Governor Cuomo said that he had absolutely no intention of running. The interviewer then told Governor Cuomo that we would hold him to that. Governor Cuomo reminded the interviewer that there is a difference between lying and changing your mind.

Valentino Rossi just became interesting again

In Valentino Rossi‘s first year of GP500/MotoGP (2000) racing, the race announcers always talked as if Rossi were the underdog. He would start out by not getting the holeshot and the experts would assume that he was going to have quite the challenge. He was #2 in championship points that year.

2001 was similar: Rossi won his first GP500 Championship that year.

This “he can’t win” story occurred again when Rossi left Honda in 2004. Everyone believed the Yamaha YZR-M1 to be slow. Rossi, Jeremy Burgess, and Yamaha worked to fit the bike to the rider. He was once again the assumed underdog. Rooting for his team when all the experts said that he could not win, was fun. He won the championship that year also.

The past few years the experts have assumed that the Yamaha is the best bike. Not enough credit has been given to Valentino Rossi’s and Jorge Lorenzo‘s skill in that regard. Also: nobody assumes that Rossi is going to lose these days.

Rossi is currently the underdog again in 2010, due to his leg breaking. That’s not how we like the story to go though: yes to underdog, no to injuries.

The Ducati is believed to be only-ridable by Casey Stoner. For sure, Nicky Hayden (Rossi’s former teammate at Honda!) has made some progress, but this is still believed to be the underdog bike. Valentino Rossi’s story just became interesting again…

In Valentino Rossi’s Own Words

I do not know Italian. I will put a translation here when I find one: assuming that I have permission to do so.

Ducati

from Ducati’s Official Press 2010-08-15

The 31 year-old will complete an Italian link-up with the Bologna factory next season having agreed a two-year deal.

Ducati and Valentino Rossi have signed a two-year agreement for the nine-time World Champion to race with the “Rossa” of Borgo Panigale in the Ducati Team from 2011.

The arrival of Valentino in Ducati opens a new and exciting chapter in the Italian factory’s sporting history and, indeed, of the whole MotoGP Championship. The opportunity of lining up such an extraordinary rider and character is considered by Ducati to be of huge value to the whole Ducati MotoGP project.

“We are delighted to announce that Valentino Rossi will be with us from 2011,” commented Gabriele Del Torchio, president of Ducati Motor Holding. “He is a paragon of excellence in the world of motorcycling, coherent with our Italian company which is a standard bearer for ‘made in Italy’ excellence. These are key values for success in technology, design and sportsmanship. In addition to the strong and passionate intent of both parties, this agreement has been made possible by the committed support of our shareholder Investindustrial and all the sponsors associated with the Ducati Team, sponsors which have believed in this opportunity and share and support our choices.”

Filippo Preziosi, Ducati Corse General Director, said: “Firstly, Valentino is a great fan of motorcycles and so it has always been a pleasure for me to listen to his opinions. Until the Valencia GP he will remain a competitor, one so great that he has always given a special value to our victories, but as soon as he rides the Ducati for the first time we will work together on every single detail that will develop a bike capable of showing his huge talent. Working with Valentino is one of the most exciting things for every engineer, and it’s good to know we will have this great opportunity next season.”

Yamaha

from Yamaha’s Official Press 2010-08-15

Yamaha Motor Co., Ltd. would like to announce that the partnership between Valentino Rossi and Yamaha will come to an end at the close of the season, when Valentino will move on to new challenges.

Yamaha and Valentino have enjoyed seven fantastic seasons of racing, during which time they have won four MotoGP World Championships together.

Valentino has played a huge part in the history of Yamaha and he will always remain an important part of Yamaha’s heritage. Yamaha is extremely grateful for Valentino’s contributions to its racing successes over the past seven years and it would like to wish him the very best in his future racing endeavours.

Yamaha will be putting all its efforts into ensuring a successful and happy end to the partnership over the remaining races.

Lin Jarvis, Managing Director of Yamaha Motor Racing, said “On behalf of the Yamaha Motor Group, I would like to express our sincere gratitude for the amazing seven years that we have spent together. Valentino joined Yamaha in 2004 at a moment when Yamaha was struggling in road racing after eleven seasons without a championship victory. Valentino’s victory at his first GP race for Yamaha in South Africa in 2004 was an incredible moment and was just the first of many more race wins that have thrilled MotoGP fans and Yamaha fans around the world. His unsurpassed skills as a racer and a development rider enabled him to win four MotoGP world titles to date with us and helped Yamaha develop the YZR-M1 into the ‘the bike of reference’ for the MotoGP class.”

“There have been so many wonderful experiences and victories and we are very proud to have been able to make history together. Whilst we regret Vale’s decision to move on, at the same time we fully respect his decision to search for a new challenge and we wish him the very best for 2011 and beyond.

“For the remaining eight races of 2010 Valentino will remain a Yamaha Factory rider. As such he will continue to benefit from our full support and we hope and expect to see some more race wins with him ‘in blue’ before the season is over!”

Rossi stated: “It is very difficult to explain in just a few words what my relationship with Yamaha has been in these past seven years.”

“Many things have changed since that far-off time in 2004, but especially ‘she’, my M1, has changed. At that time she was a poor middle-grid position MotoGP bike, derided by most of the riders and the MotoGP workers. Now, after having helped her to grow and improve, you can see her smiling in her garage, courted and admired, treated as the ‘top of the class’.”

“The list of the people that made this transformation possible is very long, but I would like to thank anyway Masao Furusawa, Masahiko Nakajima and ‘my’ Hiroya Atsumi, as representatives of all the engineers that worked hard to change the face of our M1. Then Jeremy Burgess and all my guys in the garage, who took care of her with love on all the tracks of the world and also all the men and women that have worked in the Yamaha team during these years.”

“Now the moment has come to look for new challenges; my work here at Yamaha is finished. Unfortunately even the most beautiful love stories finish, but they leave a lot of wonderful memories, like when my M1 and I kissed for the first time on the grass at Welkom, when she looked straight in my eyes and told me ‘I love you!’”

Someone asked me, “Are you using countersteering?” at my last track day, and I didn’t know how to answer that question. I thought, “Is there any way that I could not be countersteering at these speeds?”  Countersteering occurs when the rider of a single-track vehicle (bicycle or motorcycle) pushes on the right side of the handlebar to turn right, and pushes on the left side of the handlebar to turn left.  By pushing on the same side, the rider is “turning” the handlebars the opposite way.  With cars you steer right to go right, but with bikes you steer left to go right.

OK, so you might be thinking, “I don’t do that! I lean!”, but you are doing that.  Imagine this: a bicycle rider holds her arms out straight.  She needs to turn right, so she leans to the right.  What’s happening here?  As she moves her weight to the right her right arm begins to push the right side of the handlebars out farther than the left: she is now countersteering.  Countersteering has more to do with initiating the turn than the leaning itself does.  You might have to sit on a bike and actually try this out to be able to picture it.  Do it in an exaggerated fashion, lock your arms, and watch the handlebars as you lean.

Motorcycle instruction usually includes discussion on countersteering because the locking-of-the-arms-thing greatly slows down steering.  Sometimes the effect on steering is so bad that riders ride right off the road when they tense up.  If the rider can learn to loosen her arms, and consciously push on the opposite side of the handlebar, then she will turn much quicker.

I literally practice holding the bars loosely when I ride my wife’s cruiser.  I take each hand off the handlebars one at a time (it has a throttle lock).  I practice bending my arms.  Etc.  This can actually help in all kinds of conditions.  That instability that occurs next to a truck?  It’s less troublesome if you hold the bars lightly.  When you push back against the shaking of the bars, your pushes lag behind the bars movement slightly.  Your periodic pushing summates with the periodic movement of the bars increasing the shaking.  Really.

So, how does this all work?  Countersteering initiates the lean by using the bike’s momentum to pull it over.  Imagine the momentum that you feel when a car turns.  When you turn to the left the momentum makes you feel like you are being pushed slightly to the right in your seat: correct?  This is the same with a two wheeled vehicle.  Turning left simultaneously causes momentum to push your vehicle to lean to the right (like an upside-down pendulum).  The bike then turns in the direction that it is leaning.  It’s that simple.  Really.  I didn’t understand this for a long time, because I was told that the affect was caused by gyroscopic precession, and for sure, that occurs, but it doesn’t cause bikes to turn.  Anyway I am sitting there watching a Kieth Code video, and he explains it.  He only spent a few seconds on the subject, but it made the whole thing clear.

Kay was teaching our daughter to ride on a small, classic Schwinn Stingray (the original Stingray, the current one is well designed).  This was the same model that Kay learned on.  Anyway, I was watching Gershwinn try to ride it one day, and I thought, “Hey! that thing has very little trail!  That will never work!”  So, I tried out the bike, and sure enough, it was extremely unstable.  Cal Santo lowered the seat on one of his large BMX bikes, and Gershwin easier time: even with it being too-large.  Learning-to-ride is extremely difficult on a poorly-engineered bike, and many of us potentially started-out on poorly-engineered bikes.

Here is the Wikipedia entry for countersteering. The very top says “For the similar technique used in automobiles, see opposite lock.”  Please ignore that first statement.  The technique described there is about pointing your car’s wheels in the direction that you want the car to move, even if your car’s body is stepped-out.  This automotive technique is not remotely like the motorcycle technique, even though Doc Hudson says otherwise.

Before I tell you about this next part I want to make something very clear: I very much appreciate MSF instruction.  Without the MSF I wouldn’t be riding.  I would have no idea how to get started.

I took the MSF Basic RiderCourse twice.  In 2007 I took it near Topeka Kansas (where I earned 100% on both tests), and in 2003 I took it in Plano Texas.  While in Plano one of the RiderCoaches told us some things about countersteering that weren’t exactly correct.  I don’t know if any of those things are part of the official curriculum, but I want to quickly cover them, just in case you are told something similar.

• She told us about countersteering, and that it is caused by gyroscopic precession occurring at a 90-degree angle, but she didn’t tell us what plane the 90-degrees was measured from.  This Web site has a good example of what she was talking about. This is all true, but that force doesn’t cause countersteering to work.  In fact gyroscopic precession makes turning more difficult.  Robby Kasten proved that with his wonderful reverse rotating rotors invention.
• She had us sit on motorcycles that were standing still and told us to turn our bars and feel the motorcycle fall in the other direction, while using our legs to not let it fall all the way.  About 50% of the time my motorcycle fell in the same direction.  Of course it did.  Countersteering doesn’t work while standing still: gyroscopic, momentum, or otherwise.  A motorcycle should never be used as a Ouija board!  To be sure the RiderCoach in Kansas had us do the same exercise, but he made it clear that we were to make the bike lean ourselves by using our legs and imagine that the handlebar turning caused it.
• She told us to watch the other RiderCoach’s front wheel, and to see how it was facing the opposite way while he was riding around.  I couldn’t see this, and I said so, and the reason that I couldn’t see it is that it just wasn’t so.  The front wheel doesn’t go the opposite way once you are leaned over.  (The speedway/flat track thing is something slightly different.  It works more like the automobile-reverse-lock technique once the bike is leaned over.)
• She told us that countersteering doesn’t work under 13 MPH. This is not true. What is true is that there is another, much-safer, turning-technique that involves turning the handlebars in the direction of the turn, weighting the outside peg, and using your own body to lean the bike. That doesn’t mean that countersteering won’t work. It just means that you are capable of exerting enough-force to overcome-it at those slower-speeds. Here is a video that proves that countersteering works at-all-speeds, and on-all single-track-vehicles (motorcycles, scooters, bicycles, etc.)

Have fun out there!

If you are interested in The World’s Smallest Political Quiz, but not in my own results, and explanation, then go directly to The World’s Smallest Political Quiz.

Third-parties will always be a losing-proposition in this country.  It is simply easier to collect the magic-number of votes if there are only two large parties. (The magic-number of votes is one-more than 50%.)

According to the Advocates for Self Government: a multi-dimensional model is needed as a replacement for the left-to-right-wing straight-line continuum.

Traditionally Libertarians are thought to be right-wing, but there are many Republican party values that aren’t Libertarian. David Nolan realized that a better model would show how much government control a person wanted over personal issues, and how much government control that same person wanted over economic issues. If we map these two dimensions, then we will have four quadrants.

(The block-quotes are from the “Advocates for Self Government’s World’s Smallest Political Quiz FAQ”. It is no longer available at its URL, so some links have been removed from this page.):

Conservatives tend to favor economic freedom, but frequently support laws to restrict personal behavior that violates “traditional values.” They oppose excessive government control of business, while endorsing government action to defend morality and the traditional family structure. Conservatives usually support a strong military, oppose bureaucracy and high taxes, favor a free-market economy, and endorse strong law enforcement.

Liberals usually embrace freedom of choice in personal matters, but tend to support significant government control of the economy. They generally support a government-funded “safety net” to help the disadvantaged, and advocate strict regulation of business. Liberals tend to favor environmental regulations, defend civil liberties and free expression, support government action to promote equality, and tolerate diverse lifestyles.

Libertarians support maximum liberty in both personal and economic matters. They advocate a much smaller government; one that is limited to protecting individuals from coercion and violence. Libertarians tend to embrace individual responsibility, oppose government bureaucracy and taxes, promote private charity, tolerate diverse lifestyles, support the free market, and defend civil liberties.

Statists want government to have a great deal of power over the economy and individual behavior. They frequently doubt whether economic liberty and individual freedom are practical options in today’s world. Statists tend to distrust the free market, support high taxes and centralized planning of the economy, oppose diverse lifestyles, and question the importance of civil liberties.

The Advocates for Self-government have a Web application called The World’s Smallest Political Quiz. (Mark Shroyer: do you remember telling me about this quiz!?) Here are my results:

The red dot shows where Paul is on the Nolan political chart.

I am on the intersection of Liberal (considered to be left wing), Libertarian (considered to be right wing), and Centrist. Really. I am not a Democrat, and I am not a Republican, and neither of those parties will ever accurately represent me.

Don Emde shared an Isle of Man TT video on facebook. This one is a 2010 video of John McGuinness! Yes, Mr. McGuinness is that good.

2009 Videos

Don Emde shared this beautiful Isle of Man TT video on facebook, and mentioned that he wants to go as a spectator in 2010. The music is “Now we are free” by Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard, from the movie Gladiator. It was uploaded by Mirko Guzetta. Thank you Don and Mirko!

Isle of Man Tourist Trophy 2009 Steve Plater Onboard:

Scott Harwood shared this 2009 Isle of Man TT video with us:

Scott also shared a video from this year’s TTX with us:

Larry Pegram Lean – AMA Sign – at Hearland Park Topeka, Image © 2009 Paul Danger Kile http://dangerismymiddlename.com

I really like this one. There is so much to see in it: the worn knee pucks, the details on the Sidi boots, the beautiful blues on the titanium exhaust, the miss-matched red paint, the top of the chain losing slack because Larry is opening the throttle, the fact that the Leo Vince exhaust ad off-track overpowers the Akrapovic logos on the bike. You can even read the Ohlins logo on the forks (in higher res), and brembo logo on the brakes. Larry leans so far that his tires are worn in places that aren’t even meant to touch the ground.

Ducati left US racing, for the most part, so what did Larry do?  He build a Ducati team. If Ducati ever comes back full-tilt, then they will already have a team that they can promote to factory-level support. This is what Micheal Jordan (yes, that one) should have been doing instead of using suasion to change the rules.

My lenses are cheap, my camera focuses very slowly, and neither the body or the lenses have anti shake features. My best shots involve a ton-of-luck. I see the pros not taking pictures of every bike, and I just don’t get it. Riding like this is amazing. It should be captured and appreciated again-and-again.

Valentino Rossi does look at the ground midcorner. When asked why he appears to be doing-so, Rossi said something like, “I look down to see where I am in the corner. I don’t need to see where I am going. I already know where I am going.” Kids do not try this at home.

Jason DiSalvo at AMA Pro Tornado Nationals, Image © 2009 Paul Danger Kile http://dangerismymiddlename.com

]]> http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/2932/feed 0 http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/2932 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/dangerismymiddlename-com-Motorcyclists-Destination/~3/1tUySXORs3Y/6186 http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/6186#comments Tue, 09 Feb 2010 01:22:27 +0000 Paul Danger Kile http://dangerismymiddlename.com/?p=6186 Ordinary motorcycle brake lights can be difficult to see: especially when they are also functioning as running lights, and it is bright out, and one is trying to pay attention to other vehicles. I suspect that many people rely solely on other visual cues to determine that a motorcyclist is slowing down.

I learned to appreciate flashing brake lights while doing group rides in Arkansas. The intentions of motorcyclists with flashing brake lights were unambiguous. On the other hand, they always say, “I didn’t see him. He came out of nowhere.”, and there is nothing that a small flashing light will do to change that. Feel free to completely ignore that claim from folks that sell the little flashing lights.

Let’s get that first question out of the way: are they legal? Yes. It’s legal to apply your brakes, let up, and then apply them again. That would turn your brake lights on-and-off, and these products turn your brake lights on-and-off. Also, these don’t annoy people; sometimes headlight modulators do.

I have experience with two products, one of which is the Kisan TailBlazer 20W-D plug in bulb.

Pros:

• Relatively inexpensive.
• Just replace the existing brake light bulb with this unit. All of the electronics are in the base, and it just works.

Cons:

• Except when it doesn’t. In my case— a V-Star 650 Classic— the bulb was mounted vertically. The base of the light holds the electronics; that’s the part that twists in. The new bulb has two prongs, and it plugs into the top of the base. There is a little “bowl” on top of the electronics (see image), and the water would collect there. For sure, the lens (the red plastic piece) didn’t have cracks in it. I believe the condensation within the lens was bad enough of a problem though. Most motorcycles mount the bulbs horizontally, and facing backwards. I assume that this system would be more reliable in that case. I kept my original tail light bulb just in case this thing stopped working, and it did.  That original bulb came in handy during this little adventure I tell ya’.
• This simple system doesn’t work for all motorcycles. Kisan does have other brake light flashing products for that case. They also have head light modulators, tire pressure monitors, turn signal cancelling systems, and more.

Image linked-from, and to kisantech.com

I don’t know Russian, but I imagine (this is where I make stuff up), that the woman is either asking the dude if she can have a ride on his Harley-Davidson, or saying, “I thought that the Wolf Brothers MC only rode two-wheeled Urals?” To-which he replies, “No, but the Ural | Wolf is named after the Russian Night Wolves MC.”

The Russian comments on the YouTube page are the usual Gold Wing = car, and only old people ride Gold Wings. The fact that such an amazing bike gets the same negative responses regardless of the language and culture barrier proves that people all over the world are unable to recognize excellence. Folks on Gold Wings lean just as far at a given turning radius and speed as everyone else does. Why people would assume that a more comfortable seat all of a sudden makes the bike less of a motorcycle is something that I will never understand. What are your thoughts?

Please be vigilant. Don’t trust a piece of plastic. Don’t even trust the powered units: they also emit frequencies that are above the range that deer can hear.
Here is Roy Truelsen’s response to a Rider magazine’s January 2001 “Hornet Deer Alert” article by Clement Salvadori.

All photos are from the Web sites listed below. Permission was given by Laura Klock.

Written 2009-09-26, re-edited 2009-11-06

World’s Fastest Bagger (WFB) is one of Laura Klock’s Web sites. Brian and Laura are from Klock Werks Kustom Cycles, but the WFB site is dedicated to the family’s Bonneville Salt Flats runs.  WFB also refers to the bagger that Brian built for those runs.

WFB shows sweet bikes making Bonneville runs, and these riders are women: as-in Mom, daughters, and friends. Now that‘s mega-cool. The Web site’s images (and the images at other family Web sites) will make you want to learn more about the story behind each one.

The images at these site made me wonder things such as:

• Didn’t I read about this family in the AMA’s American Motorcyclist magazine March 2009 “Everyday Racers” article? The answer to this one is: yes.
• Is the YouTube video below essentially the same as the “Everyday Racers” article? The answer to this one is: yes.
• Who rides on the racing team?
  • Mother Laura “God gave me fast angels”
  • Daughter Erika (18)
  • Daughter Karlee (15)
  • Michelle Mielke, who is the wife of
    Klock Werks service manager, Joe
    Mielke.
• Who’s awesome Buell Blast is that?
  • Karlee’s
• Who else uses Buell Blasts for land speed records? (See photo from Joe Milke below)
• Who’s awesome V-Rod bagger is that?
• What are those people doing?
• Should I try the run-what-you-brung class for fun?
• Should my wife?

[nggallery id=4]

Here are the Klock family, and friends, Web sites that I am aware of:

• Movie (other than the one below) at: http://www.worldsfastestbagger.com/Worlds_Fastest_Bagger/Movie.html
• http://www.worldsfastestbagger.com/
• http://www.kustomcycles.com/
• http://www.kustombaggers.com/
• http://www.lauraklock.com/

http://bigjoe.smugmug.com/photos/638217377_SvNiC-O.jpg

This Web site primarily exists so that motorcyclists can share opinions. These opinion stories are augmented by Press Releases. The distributor of each Press Releases is solely responsible for its contents.

1. Our first priority is to respect all content holders. If you would like us to remove any content, then please ask via email, and please accept our apologies. We also apologize for any imposition. This has occurred one time. The AMA sent us a Press Release. I embedded a photo from the AMA’s Web site. It was a photo that they were using with their copy of the story-in-question. We were asked to remove the image, because it was owned by a third party that gave permission only to the AMA. We removed the image immediately.
2. Our second priority is to leverage available resources within the cloud at little cost as possible. As of 2009-11-06 this Web sites revenue is $0.00.
3. #1 trumps #2 always.

Press Releases are chosen for these reasons:

1. They tell a story that we feel is appropriate for this Web site, even though these aren’t our stories, and in some cases, these stories may be contrary to our opinion.  For instance: if the Press Release is from AMA Pro Racing, then that is AMA Pro Racing’s opinion, and may not be the opinion of dangerismymiddlename.com.
2. We have permission to re-distribute them, either by request, or in some cases the distributors are making these stories widely available via their Web sites, with permission to redistribute stated there.  In some cases this statement is in a terms-of-use document, and in some cases the Web site makes Web site embedding code available.

These press releases don’t do much as far as getting search-engine hits is concerned. Apparently Google “knows”, that they are not unique to our site.

We want to say an extra-special thanks to the following organizations for creating content that we used on dangerismymiddlename.com.  Thank you. I heartily apologize for any missed organization from this list.

• American Motorcyclist Association (AMA)
• Buell Motorcycle Company
• Danny MacAskill (via YouTube)
• Daytona Motorsports Group / AMA Pro Racing (DMG / AMA Pro)
• Ducati Web Kit
• Fischer Motor Company
• Flickr.com
• Harley Davidson Motor Company
• HJC Helmets
• Honda
• Indianapolis Motor Speedway (IMS)
• James Gang/Hoban Brothers Racing
• Michelin
• Mission Motors
• Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF)
• New Jersey Motorsports Park
• OnTheThrottleTV
• Suzuki Media
• Twitter.com
• Yamaha
• YouTube.com

I don’t understand how Suzuki could have possibly let Ben get away.  The critics talked of “Ben isn’t ready for MotoGP” last year.  Not ready?  He came in fifth during the Indy GP.  Fifth in MotoGP… On an unfamiliar bike… in severe weather…

During Valentino’s second 500cc year they kept talking about how he met his match during each race, because he would start out behind, but by the end of the race he was always in front.  I decided that year that Valentino must be the greatest rider to ever live, and that panned-out.  Same with Ben Spies.

Ben once-again downplays his chances of winning the MotoGP championship next year. He shouldn’t do that. Rossi began 2000 with similar goals, and rode more defensively in order to meet those goals. Rossi finished 2000 in 2nd but admitted that he might have finished in 1st had he set that for his goal. Ben, please stop saying “Top 10″. You did top 6 in MotoGP, on a Suzuki, in the worse weather (Hurricane Ike “remnants”) of any GP in history. Go for #1 in 2010!

Notice in the video below how even Ducati is celebrating Ben’s Championship on the podium, even Noriyuki Haga— the man who had the next-best chance of being World Champion this year— is celebrating Ben’s championship on the podium. An awesome show of sportsmanship from those Ducati guys. (See the manufacturer’s standings below to see how both Yamaha and Ducati can celebrate this year…)

Here is the “Ben Spies 2009 World Superbike Champion Exclusive Interview” Video by OnTheThrottleTV

Rookie Ben Spies wins the World Superbike Championship, becoming the first American to do so since fellow Texan Colin Edwards in 2002. SpeedGreen was on location to capture the emotions as Yamaha celebrated their first World Championship.

Quotes from Yamaha Racing Europe’s Release

Ben Spies and Yamaha made history today, claiming the first ever Word Superbike title for the Yamaha World Superbike Team. In yet another Ben Spies Masterclass of riding, The American rookie sensation took a race win and a well executed fifth place finish to lift the title for Yamaha for the first time. Race one saw a textbook performance from Spies, taking the holeshot on the first corner and leading from the first lap. Perfectly executed lines and smooth riding saw him cross the line nearly two seconds ahead of a determined Biaggi who had stalked him for the entire race. Championship rival Noriyuki Haga crashed out six laps into the race, leaving Spies some breathing room for race two.

With the extra points behind him and less pressure for an outright race win Spies kept himself in check for race two, monitoring Haga’s position and keeping a steady race pace as he counted the laps down to victory. The American let a couple of riders passed then tucked in behind Biaggi for a number of laps. After the Italian rider ran wide a couple of times, Spies turned on some extra speed to pass him and brought his championship winning Yamaha R1 home in fifth place to take victory.

Spies can now claim 14 Superbike race wins and 11 pole position race starts in his rookie year, breaking all records since the championship began. He leads the standings with 462 points, six clear of rival Haga.

Ben Spies, Yamaha World Superbike Team, (1st, 5th)

On the first race: “It was actually a really tough race. At first I was just going for the win, getting to the front and not worrying about anything. Then when Haga was out I had to win to get as many points as possible for race two. Once you have a gap, you don’t want to be stupid and throw it all away.”

” I’ve got to thank Yamaha for giving me the bike I need to win. We had a really good first race, in the second we did what we had to do to win. It was quite difficult to keep it in check as the pace was pretty fast, I saw I had a couple of people behind me and I knew that if Nori won I had to be in sixth and that’s where I was so I tried to get a bit of a gap on them and stay out of trouble. Max came through the inside of me and ran off a couple of times which really freaked me out so I went to get past him and then settled in for some nice fast laps to the end. It’s been a spectacular day and I can’t thank those people enough that have been behind me. It’s been incredible to do it for Yamaha, and especially in my first year here. I don’t think I really realize what’s happening right now but I’m sure it’s going to hit me in a couple of days!”

Massimo Meregalli, Yamaha World Superbike Team Manager

“I feel great! This is the first time I’ve had this victory feeling. I was so nervous for this whole weekend. Ben showed us that the speed he had was ok but I know Nori very well and Ducati as well so I was always worried that something was going to come. Fortunately we finished very well. I want to thank everyone, not just the people here in the team and Yamaha but the people at home, mine and the team’s families, they give us a lot of support and are patient, I think it is hard for them to so thank you to my wife!”

Laurens Klein Koerkamp, Racing Manager, Yamaha Motor Europe

“A fantastic day for Yamaha! Today was the crown of a year’s hard work for Ben and the team. From the first moment we started to work with Ben it was clear he was something special. He did an amazing job in his rookie season, not knowing many of the circuits in Europe. This victory is also very well deserved for the team who have given 100%. I know how hard we have all been trying and coming close for such a long time. This championship success is a clear testimonial of the competitiveness of the new R1 and a validation of Yamaha’s vision of production bike development and so is also shared with the engineers in Japan.”

Quote from Noriyuki Haga

“All weekend I have had problems with the set up of the bike, mainly with the tyres that didn’t give me total confidence. Usually we have a package that works well at every track and here too we didn’t change so much with regard to the setting, only really tyres. In Race 1 we mounted two hard tyres and they didn’t perform as we’d hoped, they didn’t give me the necessary grip so it was hard to brake and unfortunately I fell even though I wasn’t pushing so hard. We changed bikes for Race 2, just to be sure, as well as changing tyres of course. This time I had more grip and was able to make a good race. Unfortunately second in the race was not enough to take the title and it’s a real pity, but I must say that I have had a great first year with this fantastic team that always provides me with a good bike. I thank my whole technical team, Ducati, the sponsors and the Clinica Mobile who have taken good care of me throughout the season. My compliments go to Ben who has been such a strong rival this year and even though he is going to MotoGP next year, I am sure we will remain friends. This week we’ll start testing in preparation for next year. This year was a new adventure with Ducati and we’ll continue to give 100% in 2010.”

Results

RACE 1

1. B. Spies (Yamaha WSB)
2. J. Rea (HANNspree Ten Kate Honda)
3. M. Biaggi (Aprilia Racing)
4. S. Byrne (Sterilgarda Ducati)
5. M. Fabrizio (Ducati Xerox Team)
6. L. Camier (Aprilia Racing)
7. C. Checa (HANNspree Ten Kate Honda)
8. R. Xaus (BMW Motorrad Motorsport)
9. M. Lagrive (Honda Althea Racing)
10. M. Baiocco (Guandalini Racing)

RACE 2

1. M. Fabrizio (Ducati Xerox Team)
2. N. Haga (Ducati Xerox Team)
3. J. Rea (HANNspree Ten Kate Honda)
4. S. Byrne (Sterilgarda Ducati)
5. B. Spies (Yamaha WSB)
6. M. Biaggi (Aprilia Racing)
7. L. Camier (Aprilia Racing)
8. J. Smrz (Guandalini Racing)
9. T. Corser (BMW Motorrad Motorsport)
10. S. Guintoli (Team Suzuki Alstare)

Final Points

1. Spies 462
2. Haga 456
3. Fabrizio 382
4.Biaggi 319
5.Rea 315
6. Haslam 241
7.Checa 209
8. Byrne 192
9. Sykes 176
10. Smrz 169.

Manufacturers Standings

Yamaha wins the championship, but Ducati wins the most points…

1. Ducati 572
2. Yamaha 505
3. Honda 431
4. Aprilia 329
5. Suzuki 173
6. Bmw 141
7. Kawasaki 76

The EV-Cub electric motorcycle is absolutely beautiful.  It looks enough like a Honda Dream (or Super Cub) to elicit feelings of nostalgia for the vehicle that made Honda a global success, while at the same time looking ultra modern.

EV-Cub

EV-Cub

EV-Cub

CB1100 Series

Rumors abound about the CB1100, 4-cylinder, air-cooled universal Japanese motorcycle (UJM) coming to America.  They are just rumors though.  Yamaha has had a model like this in their lineup for sometime, but they won’t sell it here.  The truth-is: these motorcycles would be a smashing hit here, but they haven’t been engineered for US emissions and noise standards. These are some of the most beautiful retro-bikes ever.

CB1100

CB1100

CB1100 Customize Concept

CB1100 Customize Concept

CB1300 Series

CB1300 SUPER FOUR

Like the CBs above, but these ones are water-cooled.

CB1300 SUPER FOUR

CB1300 SUPER TOURING

CB1300 SUPER TOURING

Want to see more?

Go to my SkyDrive to page see more Honda images from the 2009 Motor Show!

Did he really do that, or was it faked?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that back when I was single, and living in Arkansas, I had this experience: I was riding South on my way home from Missouri, at about 2:00AM, coming from wherever it is that I ride motorcycles to in Missouri in the middle of the night.

A police car pulls up close on my tail, and on go the pull-the-truck-over lights, so I move to the shoulder.  He follows me at greater-than-shoulder speeds, and he is right on my tail.  I begin braking, and the paved shoulder gives way to pea gravel.  The rear wheel locks-up, the motorcycle drops me off its left-side, and then gets back up on its own, and takes-off. I go sliding down the road, while the police stop.  Meanwhile the motorcycle leaves the road, rides a little farther on its own, and leans itself against a bush.

I get up from in front of the police car’s bumper and ask them if I can get my bike.  One of the officers keeps asking, “Are you OK? Are you OK?” And I say, “Folks tell me that everyone goes down at some point, and I had to do it in front of police officers. That’s embarrassing. Can I go down there and get the motorcycle?” By this point I had removed my helmet, and Missouri is a helmet-law-state. I didn’t know if they would ticket me for going down to get the bike without suiting-up, but I really didn’t want to put the helmet back on. The one officer says, “yes”, the other officer is still shaken, and still not believing that I could be OK.  The street-slide was kind of a relaxing ride though.

I ride the motorcycle back up to the road, and in front of the police vehicle’s head lights, so that I can look it over. There is only one scratch.  It’s on the very back of the rear fender, which is a part of the bike’s body that couldn’t have possible touched the ground during that incident, and it’s the only part that was actually damaged.  Not even the color-matched ABS bags hanging off each side in-back were scratched.

The calm officer explains to me that my tail-light is out, and that they can’t let me leave without it working. The not-so-calm officer is still asking me if I am all right. I am still answering, “Yes.”

I pull out my tool case. Get a screwdriver. Get a taillight bulb, and change the bulb. These two officers were floored. The one guy still couldn’t believe that I was OK, and the other guy was now surprised that I was actually rode around with a spare bulb and tools.

In the second video the rider, either during a race, or at a track day, lowsides his bike.  The bike gets up, and keeps on going down the track. The rider runs after it, and gets on, and then takes-off. Did he really do that, or was it faked?  It is possible for the bike to get up and keep riding on its own even as it slows down; that’s what happened to me, but what are we really looking at here? It’s likely a creative-person’s special effects demo.

This was the bike that picked itself up. No, those bags in back were not scratched!

The Bajaj Auto (as in automobile) Pulsar 220 DTSi motorcycle is from India.  They only make a little more than 21HP, and 19 foot-pounds max: as reported by Motobeam.com. Yet like any motorcycle: they can be so much fun in the hands of someone who really knows how to ride them.  Check it out: Indian stunters, stunting in perfect formation, for these two TV ads.

The ads even come with doodely-doodley hammer-on guitar music in a 1980s stylee.  A true must see.

And yet another affordable motorcycle not available in the US.

It's the Bajaj Auto Pulsar 220 DTSi. Image, linked-from, and linked-to MotoBeam.com. Please click on the image to go to MotoBeam.com.

Lee Parks’ Total Control is my first book on riding, so I was pleasantly surprised to meet the author. I actually approached an associate of Lee Parks Design, with similar glasses to Lee, and asked, “Are you Lee?” He replied, “No this is Lee.” I have an extremely difficult time recognizing faces: it’s one of my anti-super-powers, like kryptonite. Anyway, I recognize faces primarily by how people move, which doesn’t help when I only saw a person’s picture in a book.

Lee asked me what I am riding, and then pointed out that he also rides an SV650 (picture below). Cool! His bike is my favorite color: cadmium yellow. Oddly enough (as if I am not already odd enough), one of my least favorite colors is lemon yellow. I want to re-paint my SV cadmium yellow, or some slightly more-orange yellow: Suzuki did not make yellow SVs in 2007.

One thing that Total Control taught me, is that there isn’t one way to ride. Lee teaches techniques that are compatible-with, but not the same as MSF, and other riding schools. His steer-with-the-inside-hand-technique is an example. I have come back to this book a number of times as-my-skill-progresses, and I always manage to learn something new from it. It includes “zen-like” (my words) techniques; it teaches how to be in the right frame of mind, so that you are totally involved in your riding.

I actually practiced the inside-hand steering technique with a V-Star 650, and the machine flipped back-and-forth so fast that I was completely amazed. I then did a U-turn, and noticed that a boy on a bicycle was watching and his jaw was still dropped. Lee doesn’t teach this as a low-speed technique, that’s not the point, but it does help at all speeds. Motorcyclists often talk about cruisers having slow steering, and now I don’t know what to think when a motorcyclist describes a motorcycle as slow-steering. Is she actually fighting herself by steering with both hands? If so, then can I trust any talk of slow-steering?

Total Control is highly recommended.

Here is a video about the class:

Paul Danger Kile and Lee Parks at Indianapolis MotoGP 2008

Lee Parks' SV650S

Purchasing My ABS Motorcycle

Almost every advance in the world-of-motorcycle-safety came from the world-of-racing with the exception of two: anti-lock brakes (ABS) and airbags.

Anti-lock brakes aren’t on most motorcycles because motorcyclists are extremely conservative with regards to changes in the motorcycle-world.

Who is even more risk-averse than motorcyclists?  …motorcycle dealers.  They won’t order motorcycles with new, optional safety features unless customers have requested them-to.  Dealers are afraid that the higher price may make them less competitive.

The 50-closest Suzuki dealers (that belong to the Powersports Network, Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V, Click Submit, Repeat, 50 times) only ordered one SV650 with ABS and one SV650S with ABS for 2007.  That’s not 2 motorcycles-per-dealer, that’s two motorcycles, period.  American Suzuki Motor Corporation advertised ABS left-and-right, but it was already too-late for the dealers to order more for that year.  We had to decide whether to purchase the S-model or not, and the answer to that question determined whether we would be making a trip to Colorado or to Illinois.  We went to Illinois, because it’s easier to add a tubular handlebar to an SV650S ABS than it is to add a fairing to an SV650 ABS.

Using My ABS Motorcycle

Motorcycle manufacturers advise riders to only use their anti-lock brakes while the wheels are in a straight line.  We don’t know why.  Maybe they are worried about what could happen if a litigious rider crashes while leaned over.  Maybe anti-lock brakes are only tested for straight-line panic braking.  Maybe they are concerned that the pulsing will upset the bike.  I can’t vouch for how well they will work for you (that’s my disclaimer), but I can tell you that they have worked very well for me, while leaned over, at high speed (at least for me), at Heartland Park, in the rain (thump-thump-thump-thump).

Yeah, man: I messed up and did that a couple of times.  No, I was nowhere near as fast as some other folks, but my middle name isn’t “competence”, and my bike doesn’t have a real sportbike suspension, so its easier to upset it (I am too heavy for the springs at any setting).  The SV650 comes with a standard fork suspension adjustable for pre-load only.  I love my SV650, but after factoring in a suspension upgrade the Suzuki GSX-R600 starts looking not-so-expensive.

So here is my claim: anti-lock brakes will help in every case. Let’s list a couple:

Alternatives?

“I had to lay ‘er down!”

This is the kind of thing that you hear in biker bars, at bike nights, and at bike rallies.  At least it was the kind of thing that I heard when I went to such places.  Also, I don’t know how many times a non-rider said something to me like: “My uncle is a really good biker, and even he had to lay her down to avoid crashing into a truck!”  (OK, I can tell you: I think that I heard something like this five or six times.)  Folks tend to believe (after the fact) that they actually chose to scrape-up their motorcycle in order to avoid colliding with another vehicle.

To be sure: colliding with a vehicle is something that you truly want to avoid.  I describe it this way in my airbag post: During a collision your pelvis gets crushed by the “fuel tank”, your head bounces off the other vehicle, your neck snaps, your spine gets compressed, and your skull gets crushed.  Your last thought before all that happens shouldn’t be: “Gee, I am glad that I saved money by not buying that [ABS].”

…but, your tires do have a hell of a lot more traction than the metal and plastic on your motorcycle, plus your leather-vest wearing biker’s exposed flesh gets abraded-off (it’s like being burned) while it’s sliding down the road.

Here’s the easiest way to avoid layin’ ‘er down: use anti-lock brakes. Well, watch this video.  The motorcycle with outriggers doesn’t have the anti-lock brakes.

MSF-style Crash Avoidance

The MSF Basic RiderCourse Rider Handbook tells us to swerve around an obstacle before braking.  The handbook stresses separating the two actions.  Here’s why: tires only have so-much traction, braking uses up some of the available traction, but so does swerving.  Swerving lowers the amount of available traction, because the contact patch has less traction at the edge of the tire.  Completely running out of traction while leaning means that you will fall down (this is called a “lowside”).  The Motorcycle Safety Foundation wants riders to separate the two, so that they are less likely to run out of traction.  You can read about the procedure in more detail on page 37 of the MSF Basic RiderCourse Rider Handbook and page 25 of the current MSF Motorcycle Operator Manual, but here is my version:

1. Realize that oh-mommy, I am about run into that car!
2. Decide whether to swerve to the left or to the right.  You have no time to think, so the best way to do this is to know where your escape route is at all times.
3. If you are swerving to the left, then push on the grip on the left side of your handlebar (left-turn countersteering), and then push on the grip on the right side of your handlebars (right-turn countersteering).  Let the motorcycle move underneath you: in other words keep your back straight up, and do not lean with the motorcycle.  If you need to swerve to the right, then reverse the directions above.
4. Begin braking as soon as your tires are no longer leaning.
5. Stop as quickly as possible without losing traction.

If you can do all that without crashing, then you are a better rider than I.  In fact it is extremely rare that riders get it perfectly correct: crash rates continue to rise in spite of better training.  The truth is that folks instinctively begin braking immediately: they just can’t wait.  You probably can see where I am going with this: losing traction while braking is the same as locking up the wheels, and anti-lock brakes allow maximum braking without locking up the wheels.  Also, anti-lock brakes allow you to do the swerving and the braking in less space.  (Please see Do I Brake or Do I Swerve– Motorcyclist Crash Avoidance Maneuvering presented at the 2006 International Motorcycle Safety Conference for more information about the distances that are travelled while braking and swerving at various speeds.)

This video teaches you how to do a proper panic stop (that’s step 5 above) with ABS.

The bike in the video is extremely similar to my own, and has the same ABS system.

This procedure replaces the broken pin with a 5/16″ machine bolt, and reuses the rubber piece, which makes the installation look very professional. If the bolt breaks-off in a future incident, and you are carrying a spare, then you might even be able to do a roadside repair.

Here is a copy of the Leslie’s instructions.  The word “I” below, refers to Leslie Kian, who wrote these words.

A low speed slide brought my SV down hard enough on the pavement to break my shifter. It broke off at the “L” and I figured out a way to save it with some inexpensive hardware from a local store. Here is a picture of what it looked like:

Happy riding!

I drilled out the spot where the original was welded with a 5/16” drill bit. I used a punch to mark the center of the hole so that the drill bit doesn’t wander. I also widened the hole with a 3/8” drill bit, but only at a depth of less than approximately ¼” (you will see why next).

I purchased a stainless 5/16” machine bolt (figuring that this would be least likely to rust) with a tapered head and an acorn nut to match. The bolt fits into the drilled out hole and sits recessed in the hole because of the tapered head. The head is facing the bike and will not have any interference with other moving parts.

Taking the rubber off of the original and reinserted on the threads of the bolt, it is held in place with the acorn nut. The acorn nut is rounded, so I don’t think it would cause too much friction. Here is what the final product looks like:

It is saving me a few bucks (I found one on eBay for $35 plus shipping), but I also know I can do this on the road in a pinch where parts are not readily available for less than $3 and the use of a drill.

Hope this contribution helps a fellow SV rider. This website has made a positive impact on me and has enhanced my SV experience.

Team Roadracing World M4 Suzuki at Heartland Park Topeka image by Paul Danger Kile (c) 2009 dangerismymiddlename.com; Free for use on the Web. Please link the photo to dangerismymiddlename.com and use this caption on the photo.

Michael Gougis of Roadracing World recently conducted a phone interview with Roger Edmondson: who is the President of DMG/AMA Pro.  Please follow this link to read the full interview.

Here are some quotes from the interview:

We are not insensitive to the criticisms that people have raised. Not everything is fixable. But we will fix what is fixable.
…
I’m confident that we will see some changes in personnel, and we have some rules where the penalties do not meet the crimes. Those will be changed, and we will do that before the beginning of the season so that the penalty we assess at the beginning of the season will be the same that we assess at the end of the season.
…
You’ve gotta be blind. I’m going to tell you my standing orders to my officials. We need to know what the circumstances are, what the facts are, and only after we know all of that and the penalty has been determined should we find out who it is.

Fans and professionals have been polarized by this year’s decisions.  They seem to fit into two camps:

1. The racing is better than ever.  Therefore it must be fair.  Roadracing doesn’t need any more negative publicity.  DMG is in charge.  Why doesn’t everyone be quiet?
2. The second camp contains people that think things could be better if we all speak up.  In some cases the people in this camp are themselves very polarizing; Johnny Rock Page is an example of this (I am a fan).  Please see John Ulrich’s “Why Discuss DMG Selective Enforcement And Other Abuses Of Power Now?” for… um… the reasons why to discuss DMG’s selective enforcement and other abuses of power now.

Dave Rosno’s Response

The following is a comment that was submitted in response to the above.  The author of the comment— Dave Rosno— did a much better job of describing the situation than I could have.  Therefore I have “promoted” the comment.

Well, is there fairness in the series? It is my opinion that the base rules structure is “fair”. I use quotes because when one might be dealing with an amount of money versus a sick amount of money, hey, it can never be completely fair. But the rules structure reduced a number of the special parts and pieces that were only available to particular individuals or teams. A lack of commitment from some of the previous factory teams reduced their large amount of preseason testing. In the end, the results were tighter. A better representation of rider ability in the AMA series on machinery that was more attainable when compared to years and years of racing in the AMA past. The Buell 1125RR in American Superbike? Strange deal again. It’s good for the series, in my opinion, but it is kind of an oddity that leaves one questioning the processes in general.

What has been reported as of late, well, that just sucks, doesn’t it? There were some individuals that were appointed to jobs before the 2009 season started. They were experienced within the road racing industry, but they also had some baggage attached also. Will they improve in 2010? Hard to say. One would expect that they would have improved during this season, but it didn’t seem to happen.

Some of the probationary issues are a big struggle. AMA Pro Racing is now an independent entity. It is their show, so they really can do as they please. But there is a need for riders. I guess I felt that Hacking got something appropriate for his outburst early in the year. Johnny Rock is probably not going to win an American Superbike race, but he is part of the show. He’s not a second year amateur, so I struggle with some of the comments made about him and how it does certainly appear that he’s being scrutinized very specifically.

The racing has been great. Fix the stuff that wasn’t part of doing laps during a race. Consistency is good. Everything should be attainable and enforceable. If the rules are a moving target, it just makes a mess for those that love the sport, the teams and the fans.

Almost every advance in the world-of-motorcycle-safety came from the world-of-racing with the exception of two: anti-lock brakes (ABS) and airbags.  How about we start out with those, and then get back to the racing?

I will briefly describe a couple of strategies for using air to protect riders, and I will also direct y’all to some cool videos that other people have created.

First-party Airbag (there’s only one)

The Gold Wing Airbag is most-helpful in the event of a front-end collision.  The airbag will eject the rider from her motorcycle, but it will also absorb most of the enertial energy, and slow-down the rider’s deceleration beforehand.

There are many types of motorcycle crashes that aren’t caused by collisions: Honda’s airbag might not help with some of these.  I will cover some of these other situations when I write about tires-and-suspension, traction control, anti-lock brakes, reverse-torque-limiting clutches, head-shake, and other topics.

If you don’t want a Gold Wing, then you don’t want a Gold Wing.  I am very happy with my motorcycle, and it’s not a Gold Wing.  One cannot ride a Gold Wing on the racetrack.  Many people just can’t afford a Gold Wing.  If are planning to buy a new Gold Wing though, then please, please buy the airbag.

During a collision your pelvis gets crushed by the “fuel tank”, your head bounces off the other vehicle, your neck snaps, your spine gets compressed, and your skull gets crushed.  Your last thought before all that happens shouldn’t be: “Gee, I am glad that I saved money by not buying that airbag.”

Here is a standing-still Honda demo of the airbag:

Aftermarket Airbag Products and Prototypes

Some of these might help in some of those other circumstances that I mentioned above.  Plus, they aren’t tied to only one motorcycle.

Dainese D-Air:

Simone Giorgi, Valencia

Spidi:

Spidi Air Bag, linked-from, and linked-to: http://www.wairbag.com/newfiles/mt1.html

Hit*Air:

Hit*Air (part deux):

Autobike Airbag Jacket:

Kieron Mooney, Kevin Schantz, and Sean de Fraine. Image linked-from, and linked-to www.blarneyquick.com. Click on the image to go to www.blarneyquick.com.

This was my third year in a row. What can I say, I am totally hooked. But this past combination of first participating in the 2-day Kevin Schwantz School and then being hosted by the school for three days at Indy for MotoGP was a life long dream fulfilled. Barber Motor Sports Park is the best racing facility I have ever seen. Just driving into it made me feel like I was at a golf course – everything is so manicured. The track was very technical with lots of sweeping corners, not as fast as years past in Road Atlanta. The school was excellent as usual, Lee Acree was lead instructor in the classroom with the man himself chiming in and answering any questions. I knew all of the track instructor except for one, so it was like seeing family again. Marnie Lincoln: the boss; had everything well organized and she always had time for everyone. I returned to the school with another 3-peater – Sean de Fraine. We drove 2200 miles overall. Went through 10 states – read Sean’s piece on the trip. He describes every detail real well, so I don’t want to be repetitive. There were 9 guys in the A group and everyone rode well. We were all better at the end of our 2-days with Kevin and his crew. Sean in my opinion improved the best – he’s the guy in the fancy Rizla leathers.

I brought my Suzuki GSXR 750 down with me and it preformed brilliantly. There was a Suzuki film crew at Barber taking segments for the 25 the Anniversary of the GSXR Superbike. They filmed everybody, so hopefully some of us will make history. The A group guys all became friends and all meet back up at Indy for the experience of a life time. Kevin was going to ride his 1993 World Championship RGV 500 just before the start of MotoGP. Kevin is a huge fan favorite and he was showered with attention. Marnie pulled off a great location in the paddock. We were at Garage 4, right beside Yamaha and Honda catering. So we really never had to move to meet all the past and present stars – they basically came to us. We all took hundreds of photo’s of just about everything – I even managed to take a few of the famous brolly girls. We meet all the riders and were brought into LCR Honda’s garage and also Rizla Suzuki. This kind of access is unheard of. I meet Valentino, Jorge, Nicky and all the riders, but for me it was the old school boys like Kenny Roberts, Wayne Rainey and Kevin that impressed me most. They were very cool to talk to. We even went and watched Kenny Roberts Ride his TZ 750 dirt tracker at the Indy Fairgrounds. We were afforded so much in such a little time. Corner 9 seating was great and the VIP club house was first rate. The Racing was exciting and I don’t think it could have been better. Thanks to Kevin and Marnie for this GP Experience Package – one I will never forget.

September 28, 2009

The AMA has developed model legislation for use by cities seeking a simple, consistent and economical way to deal with sound complaints related to on-highway motorcycles within the larger context of excessive sound from all sources.

The model legislation offers an objective method for municipal jurisdictions to evaluate motorcycle sound through science-based measurement. It’s based on the Society of Automotive Engineers’ (SAE) new J2825 standard, “Measurement of Exhaust Sound Pressure Levels of Stationary On-Highway Motorcycles.” The AMA produced similar model legislation for off-highway motorcycles several years ago.

“Many cities and other jurisdictions already have excessive sound laws on the books, but when they get citizen complaints about loud motorcycles, they sometimes decide to single out the riding public with unfair or overly restrictive ordinances and laws,” said Imre Szauter, AMA government affairs manager. “We believe that motorcycles shouldn’t be singled out, but should be regulated as part of a comprehensive sound management policy that also addresses cars, trucks, leaf blowers, generators and other sources of excessive sound.”

The J2825 standard, issued by the SAE in May, is based on a comprehensive study of a wide variety of on-highway motorcycles. It establishes instrumentation, test site, test conditions, procedures, measurements and sound level limits.

“Too many times, jurisdictions responding to citizen complaints about excessive motorcycle sound create laws that simply don’t work in the real world,” Szauter said. “They either set an unreasonable decibel limit, leave it up to a police officer to subjectively decide whether a bike is too noisy, or come up with another plan that is arbitrary or unworkable. Our model legislation is objective, workable and fair.”

The model legislation adopts the SAE J2825 standard for stationary on-highway motorcycle sound testing, specifies the type of sound meter to be used, and allows for each city to specify the penalties for violating the law. Szauter stressed, however, that the sound-testing procedures and decibel limits established in the SAE J2825 standard should remain unchanged to ensure that the law remains objective and fair.

Under the SAE J2825 standard, decibel limits range from 92 dBA at idle for all motorcycles, to up to 100 dBA at certain RPMs for various motorcycles, depending on the type of engine.

In 2003, the AMA organized the National Summit on Motorcycle Sound to bring together riders and user organizations, representatives of the motorcycle manufacturers, the aftermarket industry, racing promoters, government agencies, law enforcement and others to develop proposals regarding the increasingly controversial issue of excessive motorcycle sound. The creation of a new on-highway motorcycle sound measurement procedure was a top recommendation of the summit’s Motorcycle Sound Working Group.

“The motorcycling community, local governments and police officers have sought a practical sound field test for streetbikes for many years, and now it exists, thanks to a collaboration between the Motorcycle Industry Council and the SAE,” Szauter said. “The next step is for jurisdictions struggling with motorcycle sound complaints to adopt fair and objective laws, and the AMA is providing the tool for them to do that.”

Szauter encourages motorcyclists and government and law enforcement officials to download the model legislation from the Rights section of this website.

Note from dangerismymiddlename.com: We did not find the model legislation.  We did however find these resources there:

1. http://www.amadirectlink.com/legisltn/positions/sound.asp
2. http://www.amadirectlink.com/news/2005/soundsummit.asp
3. Appendix B (of http://www.amadirectlink.com/news/2005/soundsummit.asp). (“SAE J1287 Measurement of Exhaust Sound Levels of Stationary Motorcycles”) doesn’t appear in the electronic version of Sound Advice. To order a copy of SAE J1287, contact the Society of Automotive Engineers at 877-606-7323 or visit www.sae.org.
4. Appendix C (of http://www.amadirectlink.com/news/2005/soundsummit.asp)(“AMA Position on Motorcycle Sound” ) as of May 14, 2005. For the current AMA position statement on motorcycle sound, visit www.amadirectlink.com/legisltn/positions/noise.asp.
5. For the latest information on engine test speed data for stationary sound testing, see the Motorcycle Industry Council downloads page.

The NT700V comes in Metallic-Red or Silver if you don’t want ABS, and just silver if you do want combined braking ABS. It looks like it will provide a comfortable touring mount for less than half of the Gold Wing’s price.  The NT700V starts at $9,999, the ST1300 starts at 15,999, and the Gold Wing starts at 22,899.

The original goal for my Suzuki SV650S ABS was to use it as a sport touring mount.  First I was going to add a more comfortable seat, and handlebars with handlebar-risers, and then some luggage, and… I probably would have purchased  this bike if Honda had decided to sell it here a few years ago.

The NT700V has stock  flush mounted signals; when is the last time you saw that? It has built in frame sliders; you can barely see them. They are those little black triangular pieces.

Here are some pics:

Image from, and links-to, www.totalmotorcycle.com

Image from, and links-to, www.totalmotorcycle.com

Image from, and links-to, www.totalmotorcycle.com

Here is what HondaNew.com has to say about the NT700V:

09/04/2009 – TORRANCE, Calif. -

If you’re looking for a light touring machine that’s fun, easy to ride and ready to carry you to work and play seven days a week, look no farther than the new NT700V. Fully outfitted and ready to roll, the NT700V can turn your daily commute into riding bliss and then carry you off on that weekend adventure. With full fairing, interlinked saddlebags, a strong 680cc V-twin engine and more, the NT700V is ready for any journey you can dream up.

• Powerful four-valve 680cc liquid-cooled V-twin engine for strong performance and economical operation.
• Programmed Fuel Injection (PGM-FI) delivers excellent throttle response over a wide range of throttle settings and riding conditions.
• Combined Braking System (CBS) with a triple-disc brake system plus the option of ABS for confident braking in varying conditions.
• Large-capacity saddlebags feature a pass-through space between the two sides to facilitate packing of longer items and provide additional carrying capacity.
• Five-position windscreen can be set at the preferred height.
• Convenient remote adjuster for rear shock spring preload adjustment facilitates changes in rear suspension settings.
• Standard model is available in Metallic Red and Metallic Silver colors. ABS model is available in Metallic Silver color only.

Honda Genuine Accessories

• Top Box, 45L Red and Silver, Inner Bag-Trunk, Lower Top Box Pad, Fairing Wind Deflector Set, Knee Pad Set, Heated Grips, DC Socket, Tank Pad, Outdoor Cycle Cover.

]]> http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/4141/feed 3 http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/4141 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/dangerismymiddlename-com-Motorcyclists-Destination/~3/OvXsAqFP4EA/3665 http://dangerismymiddlename.com/archives/3665#comments Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:02:20 +0000 Paul Danger Kile http://dangerismymiddlename.wordpress.com/?p=3665 Essentially there are three reasons for Honda’s leaving:

1. They aren’t winning in the U.S.
2. The series isn’t helping to sell motorcycles. At this point, lack-of-credit, is what kills motorcycle sales.  Even if they did “win on Sunday”, they wouldn’t be selling more bikes.  This is not DMG’s fault.
3. They claim that they would like to use the AMA Pro series for development, and DMG’s new rules don’t allow that.  I suspect that this means “we need trick parts”.

American Honda Senior Vice President Ray Blank told Cycle News the following (and more) in a September 17 phone interview:

“Either it makes customers really happy, it improves the breed, or it helps sell the product. I don’t see customers real happy, we’re not permitted to evolve in technology, and we’re not given a platform to really sell the product. It isn’t any different than what it was in March of 2008 when we first sat down with Roger [Edmondson] and were told this is how it was going to be.”

Honda builds their products for the street; it’s possible that they believe that they need the racing parts (that the rules no longer allow) to win.  This is a the-bikes-win-the-races-for-us world view.  Does American Honda have that view?  The Honda MotoGP effort certainly does.  If not, then they wouldn’t have chased champions such as Nicky Hayden and Valentino Rossi away.  This isn’t a guess.  Both of these riders have said as much.  Even with the new rules: how many wins would Honda have in AMA Pro if they had Spies riding for them, or Mladin, or Rossi?

The rest of this article is a re-posting of what we wrote yesterday (September 17):

We received the following from Cycle World Magazine’s Twitter Feed:

American Honda is officially out of AMA Pro Road Racing, won’t renew contract with Corona Extra Racing for 2010, padlocking race shop. MPM

We also received these from Road Racing World’s facebook Notes:

Honda Racing announcementTorrance, CA: During the 2009 AMA/DMG Road Racing series, American HondaMotor Company, Inc. contracted team personnel, including team Honda riderNeil Hodgson, to the Corona Extra Honda race team.Corona Extra Honda race…

Seven American Honda road race crewman currently assigned to the Corona Honda AMA American Superbike team were told today that their contracts will not be renewed when they expire October 31st.The crewmen work out of a shop at American Honda headquart…

And here is the Press Release:

Honda Racing announcement

Torrance, CA: During the 2009 AMA/DMG Road Racing series, American Honda
Motor Company, Inc. contracted team personnel, including team Honda rider
Neil Hodgson, to the Corona Extra Honda race team.

Corona Extra Honda race team participated in this series with our
award-winning 2009 CBR1000RR in the AMA Superbike class, unfortunately
participation in this series did not meet our racing goals and objectives.

Regrettably the current AMA/DMG racing environment does not align with our
company goals. Effective today 9/18/09, AHM will not be renewing contracts
with Corona Extra Racing and will be terminating the on-site Road Race
operations by 9/30/09. All assets will be put into storage for future
consideration. Team staff was informed of these changes today at 1:00PM
PDT.

1. We become fans of the riders that we like, not the ones who always win.
2. You can’t win the race without slower riders out-there to beat.
3. The easiest way to not look foolish on video is to not act foolish in public.
4. Treat everyone fairly.

Here’s the good stuff:

Paul James turned around and said “Hi, Paul” to me while preparing for his stint last year (they switch riders in MotoST/MotoGT).  He did this just before his stint, when anyone else would be getting in the zone, and focusing on winning, and not on the fans. A year later at the first Tornado Nationals he gave my little girl her first ever ride on a scooter.  How do I know Paul James?  I am a spectator.  He is a racer.  He remembered me from an autograph signing.  Really. That’s how far this guy goes when he reaches out to people.

Ben Spies was late for practice at last year’s IndyGP. I waited in line for a signature, but it took too long, and the Motul guys asked me to leave.  Before leaving I said “Ben”, just meant as a “Hello”.  I don’t really need a signature , but being able to talk to Ben Spies would be really special, whether the Motul guys wanted me to or not.  I chose to stand there and watch, for the sake of watching, and Ben continued to sign posters until the moment they handed me one.

When everyone else was complaining about the factory teams Larry Pegram was creating his own, or as close to one as he possibly could.

Getting out there is what all the riders need to be doing.  That’s what Johnny Rock Page is trying to accomplish.  Is he making mistakes?  I think that lots of people are making mistakes this season.  I really have to wonder: in all of this excitement over JRP, or LP, or AL, or RE, or whomever, have the officials and racers, lost sight of the big picture?

Ricky Parker’s (No. 96 Team Graves Yamaha YZF-R6) motorcycle was being loaded onto a trailer just past turn 14. I took a photo: you can clearly see the Roadracing World Action Fund provided Airfence standing sentry behind the trailer. In spite of this accident Ricky Parker somehow finished fourth and became the new SuperSport West Champion.

Here are my photos:

Heartland Park kept the old turns after revamping the track, so there are multiple configurations possible, although all versions are counterclockwise. They use cones to designate which version of the turns that racers should use. The new turn 1 and 2 were used for the Tornado National, but the new turn 8 was not. Many of the wall segments near turns 1 and 2 were removed. That straight part that crosses the road track between turns 1 and 2 is the road at the end of the drag strip. Heartland Park can hold a dirt track race at the same time as another event, but drag races and road races cannot occur at the same time.

Here is the new Heartland Park Topeka aerial map (link), unfortunately they did not label the turns on this version. The ambulance entered just above the “o” in “Registration Building” on this new map.

Sadly, AMA Pro is no longer running on the road track: this was the only year in recent history that they have. This is in spite of the fact that the AMA Pro announcers went out of their way to say how much was changed in the interest of motorcycle safety: after Mat Mladin chose to go home instead of race, and then announced his retirement. Mladin is the winning-est rider in AMA Pro roadracing history, so his decisions impacted everyone’s behavior that weekend.

Here are some “danger is my middle name”, and similar, quotes

Books and Magazines

These are the earliest “Danger is my middle name” book quotes that we could find.

1954

“The Cactus Wildcat, A One-act Rip-roaring Western Comedy for Children”, by James S. Wallerstein (published in 1954) says: “Danger is my middle name.” on page 22.

1970

The Trumpet of the Swan by E B White (published in 1970) says: “Danger is my middle name.” on page 227.

These are the earlies “…is my middle name” book-and-magazine quotes that we could find.

1897

Munsey’s magazine, Volume 18 (published in 1897) says “Deserving is my middle name” on page 64.

1909

The Submarine Boys’ Trial Trip: Making Good as Young Experts, by Victor G. Durham (published in 1909): says: “Porpoise is my middle name…” on page 172.

1925

Pearson’s Magazine, Volume 33 (published in 1925) says “Transportation is my middle name” on page 117, and “Wisdom Is Our Middle Name” on page 253.

Television and Movies

This is the earliest TV quote that I could find.

1968

The Monkees Monstrous Monkee Mash (1968)
Micky: [speaking with a masculine voice] Well, don’t worry, my middle name is ‘Danger’.
Micky: [the Wolfman lets out a growl from behind the door] Aaah! Of course, my last name is ‘Chicken’.

Renaissance Poetry

1500′s

The Faerie Queene, by Edmund Spenser, Book IV, published in the 1500′s says, “His name was Daunger dreaded ouer all”.

References

• The book quotes were discovered by The Straight Dope Message Board contributors.
• The IMDB “Danger is my middle name” Quotes Search Results Page
• The IMDB “…is my middle name” Quotes Search Results Page

My advice below eventually generated leads. That said, you never know where your next offer will come from. I met a Wal-Mart recruiter at a Diversity Job Fair during the dot-bomb implosion. (It’s not diversity without at least one caucasion man. Right?)

The Dallas Metro area lost over 78,000 IT and Telecom jobs during the 12 month period prior. Many of those folks were at this job fair. There were only two tech companies present. One of those two was interested in applicants with flight simulator engineering experience. The other said, “Go to our Web site. We are not taking resumes.” O… K… I was near the start of the line, so I let others know what I learned, and I heard a lot of, “Thanks, now I don’t have to waste anymore time here” in response to my news.

So, I introduce myself to a Wal-Mart recruiter at her empty booth. She took one look at me and said, “I am not recruiting computer programmers. I am recruiting night stockers in Dallas for the holiday season.” I reply with, “That’s OK I was a Night Stocker at Ames Department Stores. I like retail, and I like stocking shelves. Also, I would like to move to Bentonville Arkansas to be a computer programmer.” She took my resume, told me that she would bring it home, and give it to a tech recruiter, and that my-friends was the beginning of the highest paid position that I have held in my entire life. Heh, and people think that Wal-Mart doesn’t pay well… only better than everyone else!

OK, after this line comes the part that I wrote for the Rejection Emails Web site. Everything up above was just some additional rambling on my part:

I had this experience back during the dot-bomb bust. Obviously I need to paraphrase here, because this conversation happened long ago.

Recruiter:

“How are you doing your online job search?”

I then describe how I search for positions via friends, Monster, etc.

Recruiter:

“That will never work. Those ‘known’ positions potentially have hundreds of applicants. It doesn’t matter how good you are. There are just too many other applicants. Here is how I find potential applicants. One of my clients contacts me directly to fill a position. These are typically not positions that are widely advertised. My client wants to interview a small number of highly qualified people. I go to one of these Web sites (she then shows me Monster). Then I search on the keywords that are in the job description, the potential applicant’s location, etc. Then I contact the folks on the first page. I am almost always able to fill the position for someone near the top of my search results.

So, the most effective way for you to find a position is to be on that first page. You don’t look for positions, because too many other people are applying for those very same positions. You simply position yourself so that I can find you. See this? The results near the top were edited recently. Make a resume. Put it on here. Put all the technologies that you know on it, and update it every single day, even if you simply add a space somewhere. Editing it every day puts it near the top of the search results. This advice will help other recruiters find you. In the meantime I will see if any of my clients need you now.”

Needless to say, this turned everything upside down. My job wasn’t to look for a job. My job was to market myself.

Back when I was a young-pup I worked in sales-support for a massive consultancy. Most of our developers and software architects provided estimates for our schedules, but occasionally we would borrow someone from another group, and this other-group had a system for creating estimates. That system took actual-hours for doing certain types-of-tasks, crunched some numbers, and produced an estimate.

I needed to take a different approach, because my managers wouldn’t use that system.

As a sales-support-guy I had access to all of our financials, and I knew what the loaded rates were. As a developer I had access to the source code. I knew how to do division. So I made my own average-times based off-of those figures. I used those averages for my estimates. I regularly updated them whenever a project completed.

I kept estimates for different metrics: hours-per-table, hours-per-form, etc. I then made a gut-instinct-call about which ones were most relevant for a given project. I multiplied those averages by the new project’s expected number of each item, and then I averaged those averages.

The guy-from-the-other-team’s estimate was always a little low. Mine was always a little lower than that. But it was usually twice that of many other developers’. Which means that many other developers were off by more-than-100%

So, yes, I really believe in using actual evidence to create estimates. In fact anything less than what I was doing isn’t estimating at all. It’s throwing a dart at a small board. A board called “My Career” or “My Project” or “My Business”. With a blindfold on.

How does one do evidence based scheduling? Please read Joel Spolsky’s Evidence Based Scheduling essay.

Please note that the Joel’s company sells FogBugz. Please consider evaluating FogBugz.

To provide simple solutions for apparently complex problems.

Each software developer should have a mission. You will be pushed in directions you don’t want to go, by clients, employers, and peers. That’s OK. If we always get to create what we want, then it isn’t “work”, and we probably won’t get paid. That said, deep down there was something that drew you to this lifestyle, and there is something that will define you. What is it?

For me it is the opportunity to find extremely simple, and cost-effective, solutions where others would build something complex. Throughout my career I have been presented with designs and products that were extremely costly, and what has brought me the most pride is my ability to present alternatives that aren’t complex or costly.

Here is an example: I was working at a company that needed to be able to submit forms to a government agency. The way that most IT folks handle this type of problem is to:

1. Determine the Use Cases.
2. Write the requirements.
3. Compare the technical and business requirements to the capabilities of available enterprise-level products.
4. Compare the available enterprise-level products to each other.
5. Put out RFPs to the appropriate product vendors.
6. Procure, install, and administer the new enterprise software.
7. Learn the new enterprise software.
8. Write code to use the new enterprise software to implement the business need.

The problem with doing these steps is that they lead you to what appears to be a good-idea conceptually, but ends-up being needlessly complex in its implementation. This is in-part because “all solutions look small from 50,000 feet up.” As-a-concept the enterprise software is too-abstract at this point in-the-game.

My peer was working on an architecture to solve the government-forms problem by using Adobe Document Server.

I spent a couple of days working with PDFBox and created a proof-of-concept that would do everything that we needed with minimal coding, and no costly software as an alternative to the Adobe Document Server design. This wasn’t an obvious thing to do, because the steps above lead IT folks away from the simple solutions.

But we are really good at using code to read-and-write text. We do that all the time. And a free product like PDFBox makes reading and writing to PDF form-fields extremely easy. So why not solve this the same way we would with any other text processing? You can even use PDFs in place of Web pages!

Was my version implemented? Probably not, because I soon left-the-company.

OK. OK. OK. I can’t tell you how to find your own mission. I can tell you this though: you will know-it when you see-it.

I can also give you your first piece of advice on how to simplify. Remember step 1 above? Avoid any talk of user interface (UI) in your Use Case Scenarios. Don’t use sentences like:  ”User enters Username and Password on the Web form, and clicks the Submit button.” Do use sentences like: “User Provides Identity to System.” Why? Because any talk of UI will constrain your available solutions. Those scenario sentences have a way of becoming “requirements” even if they aren’t strictly required to solve the problem. Those scenario-sentences in-effect become the system in your mind, and in your customer’s mind, and at that point it becomes very difficult to change direction.

To learn more about the Use Case technique that I briefly described above please see From Essential Use Cases to Objects.

To learn more about my thoughts on “enterprise” software, please see How Enterprise Software Is Sold, and Delivered, Today.

Carbon gets transferred from the atmosphere to plants via photosynthesis.  This is the ONLY way that it gets into living things.  Carbon gets transferred from plants to animals through eating.  This is the ONLY way that it gets into animals.  Therefore ALL of the CO2 that we could possibly put into the atmosphere came out of the atmosphere in the first place.  That is the source of CO2.  All of the carbon in fuel came from the atmosphere.

Almost nobody is willing to stop having children in order to “save” the earth.  Trees ARE the CO2 containment and capture system.  All that wood is a carbon sink.  As long as we keep having babies, then we will keep cutting down trees, and needing more energy.  But wait… if our population growth were to slow, then the economy would slow, and people will be even poorer, but if the population keeps growing, then burning of carbon-based fuels will continue to rise.

Almost nobody is willing to stop eating meat in order to reverse this trend.  Almost everything that can be said about fuel is also true of meat, and growing meat is very inefficient.

Almost nobody wants the price of fuel to get higher as an incentive for people to find other forms of energy.

The folks that don’t want to burn fossil fuels, also don’t want nuclear.

Many people think that ethanol is OK, because the CO2 that gets put back into the atmosphere was removed from the atmosphere, so there is no net gain, but that is true for ALL fuels.  ALL CO2 came from the atmosphere.  Besides, it takes more than one gallon of oil to create the nitrogen based fertilizer needed to create less than one gallon of ethanol, let alone the energy used to transport it, process it, etc.   …and ethanol has a lower energy content than gasoline.

People do exactly what they are economically incented to do.  Not what their values tell them what to do.

I love properly designed electric vehicles.  Powerful electric motors move diesel trains, so they can sure move an automobile, or a motorcycle, but electric vehicles are still much more expensive than gasoline-powered vehicles. I have electric motorcycle articles here:

• Brand-new Street-legal Electric Motorcycle for under $3000
• Zero Motorcycles: Neal Saiki’s Electric Offroad Motorcycle
• Enertia Electric Motorcycle

Who killed the electric car? You don’t need a movie to answer that question. The batteries would have cost more than a new car to replace, yet needed to be replaced too often. Did the movie mention that? No? (I actually got to see GM’s electric car, the EV1,  before it was unveiled. I worked at the GM Powertrain Engineering Center in Warren MI.)

I like wind farms, and solar, and geothermal.

But I refuse to act like CO2 is poison, and I refuse to pretend that I can change things by whining.

Ben Luce told me about this global warming thing back when I was in college.  I said, “An ice age is a normal event on Earth even without human intervention.”

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Nick Parlante is my second favorite Computer Science Professor. Why is that going out on a limb? Because he was never my Professor, and in fact everything I know about the man I learned tonight from his Web pages. Hey! Great info, and he and Stanford offer some of it to anyone that gives appropriate attribution! Can you say, “Welcome to dangerismymiddlename.com Professor Parlante!”?

Look, being a great CS Professor is a really hard thing to be. How do you begin to teach logical languages without going into every little nitty gritty detail of compilation and linking and referencing and dereferencing and all-that-stuff? What? Do you think that you couldn’t do such a thing? Do you think that you shouldn’t do such a thing?

And the folks that do ignore that stuff when teaching logical languages are nine-times-out-of-ten either called Linguistsand-or Philosophers.

We were at my stepson’s ex-girlfriend’s house a few months ago, and one of her housemates was working on her first CS assignment. To this woman the computer was a collection of abstract concepts. It was icons, and Web pages, and Microsoft Word, and all that conceptual stuff. All she needed to do was echo some input in C: read from the keyboard, write to the screen. Basic stuff. My wife was annoyed that I didn’t offer to help out. Now, my wife is really, really smart. She is an MD, and she was capable of going through the Medical School part of Medical School (there are residencies and other parts) while raising her son. But she definitely didn’t buy-it when I said, “Kay, if I offered to help that woman, then I would not be here with you at dinner, I would still be there nine hours later. That woman had all the right tools, and just needed to take the time necessary to write the program.”  Kay thought that maybe I could help just-a-little while we were still at the house (Paul makes a non-offensive-thumb-and-forefinger sign).

How did I ever get started in this career anyway?

What does “all the right tools” mean? I am not sure, I forgot what she had in her hand, but lets say, for the sake of this story, that it was very similar to Kernighan & Ritchie (K&R). Anyway, she read some of her book to us, and it wasn’t the actual Kernighan & Ritchie, but it sure sounded like it, so she was in good hands bookwise.

Now, any CS Professor that attempts to teach C without K&R as required reading is doing a disservice to her students. K&R is great literature. You can learn 3 things simultaniously in just a couple-of-hundred-of-so pages with this book:

1. The C Programming Language
2. How the C Programming Language’s libraries were implemented.  In other words the inner workings.
3. How to be a great computer programmer (With the exception of the fact that Eric Allman was correct about the how to use braces. Hey man! We no-longer waste-paper with the beginning-brace-on-its-own-line style! We have computer monitors these days! You know? That thing that looks like a TV that you are looking at right now? Feh, I couldn’t even convince S.C. to give up the K&R brace style, and his code proves that the K&R style can be unreadable in places where the beginning-brace-on-its-own-line style is not: but I digress from my digression.)

If you haven’t read it, then go do so right now. I will wait here patiently while you do.

We have reached a crossroads in our lives, and its time to make some basic choices about our future, and I found inspiration on Professor Parlante’s Web site. I spent a couple of minutes playing a game called Cigar Party (It’s not what you think… unless what-you-think involves squirrels, and the Java Programming Language)  A couple of minutes of fun for me. Now that (Cigar Party) is how to begin a computer programming course!

Who is my #1 favorite CS Professor? Peter Brouwer, and yes, I realize that he no longer teaches CS.

“Our software will help you manage your Enterprise.”

Or your software will cause headaches and heartaches for countless people.

Your future client will read reports by an “independent” technology research firm. Then she will hire a consultant, and ask that consultant to write an evaluation of all of the available enterprise software applications for a given need.

The consultant will produce a large report that says exactly what the independent technology and research firms say, in spite of the fact that neither said consultant, nor any employee of the research firms have any practical experience with the enterprise software in question.

Here is why:

1. There are only a couple of large independent technology research firms. They don’t have the resources to become experts with every product, so they do their research by meeting with the vendors and viewing their presentations.
2. This gives the product vendors incredible leverage. That’s why you can look at the descriptions of three completely different products where one started as a document repository, another started as a code versioning system, and another started as a Web UI toolkit. These products’ architectures have little in common, yet they are all called Enterprise Content Management Systems, and they all have the same listed features. Those feature lists are written to satisfy the independent technology research firms’ evaluations, and really tell you little about a given products’ actual capabilities.
3. CIOs and other executives subscibe to, and read, those independent technology research firms’ evaluations.
4. Then those executives hire the consultants. They ask for the consultants evaluations, but they really are looking to validate what they already believe. Consultants quickly figure this out after hearing “But [Insert-Name-Here] Research said” a couple of times. The consultants learn to mimic what the independent technology research firms say, in spite of the fact that the original research is based on little more than writers watching PowerPoint presentations.

• Here is a universal piece of advice: never buy anything unless you get to prototype with it before you write a check.

Your future client will then ask the consultant to write a request for proposal (RFP) to send out for bids. That consultant will write the RFP in such a way that only his company can fill all of the “requirements” in time.

You will charge your client $1.5 Million. You will first ask for more, and after weeks of negotiations you will convince your client that you can go no lower than 1.5 Million, and that nobody gets your software for less, meanwhile all of your clients are actually paying 1.5 Million, plus training, plus development, plus support, plus travel, and the pluses just keep on coming.

• I worked with one product at three different companies. Each of the company’s managers told me something like, “They normally charge X, but we got them down to 1.5 Million instead, because they really want our business. They won’t do that for anyone else.” Oh. Really.

Your client will spend many times the expected amount on employees and consultants. These people’s job will be to manage the mess that you create, and you client will have to live with that mess, lest she admit that she wasted millions on your “Enterprise” software.

You will convince your client that the mess was actually caused by her incompetent employees, in spite of the fact that her employees are actually proud, hardworking, well trained, and intelligent. You will then provide high-priced consultants to replace your client’s employees.

• What else can they do? In some cases the enterprise software vendor’s management team is in survival mode, and will continue passing-the-blame-to-their-customer until they have a mature product.
• In some cases, they may truly not know that their product doesn’t work, because the support team is filtering-out the bad news. This happens when you measure support success by how quickly problems get solved. The tickets get closed quickly, but the root problems rarely get solved, because that takes too long.
• Either way the vendor has no incentive to admit that their software is actually not stable.
• I once worked for a consultancy that was helping an energy company implement a new content management system (CMS), and the CMS vendor’s chief technologist simply repeated, “You have the DTD. That’s all you need” over-and-over again in front of the client. What we were asking for was the proprietary query language’s (non-SQL) documentation. Imagine if you had to learn a language with nothing but a description of the noun-verb-noun syntax. No dictionary. No thesaurus. No books. No teacher. No examples. Nothing. That product was not ready to be sold, and the chief technologist was able to seed doubts about us  simply by saying, “You have the DTD. That’s all you need” over-and-over again. That product was highly recommended by the two large independent technology and research firms.

Your client will put up with this “gladly”, because how else is she going to explain why she wasted so much money on your “Enterprise” software, when there was actually something better out there for free such as:

• WordPress (If the Prime Minister of Great Britain,  the Ford Motor Company, and Yahoo! can use WordPress in place of a content management system, then you can too. Just create a theme that doesn’t look like a blog. It just plain works, and it’s just plain free.)
• Windows Sharepoint Services – free document management with every Windows server. Organizations buy expensive document management systems when they already have SharePoint available. Some companies want to integrate their new insert-name-here product with SharePoint, but insert-name-here is nowhere near as capable. They just believe that it is, because someone sold them the Brooklyn Bridge.
• Nagios
• Microsoft SQL Server Express
• Microsoft Visual Studio Express
• GIMP
• Linux
• Etc.

If you are going to write enterprise software, then start out by solving the hard problems, because the easy problems are already easy. I don’t know how many vendors told me, “We can do session management!” So? Anyone that knows what a Static Class and a Hashtable is can write a session manager in an afternoon. “Our sessions can survive a reboot!” OK, anyone that knows what a Static Class is, and also knows how to embed a relational database can create a session manager with sessions that survive a reboot. Solve the hard problems for me.

Before “SOA” made integration “easy” it was “N-tiered”, before that it was “RAD”, before that it was “CORBA”, before that it was “OOP”, before that it was “SQL”. Then there were all of the “Managements”: “Document Management”, “Content Management”, “Service Management”, etc. Obviously a couple of these technologies matured to the point where they helped enormously, and others didn’t. Either way integration will never be easy.

Project management, and software engineering are incredibly difficult, and that’s what makes this work interesting. If it were easy, then there would be no way to get me sitting in front of a computer screen for so long. Doing this stuff well is a true reward.

I have been meaning to write this essay for years, but I never bothered, because I didn’t believe that anyone would read it; it would be lost in a sea of more exciting tech news. The truth is that it caused a spike-in-viewing during what is traditionally a slow-day here.

Then there is the worry that a potential employer would see this world-view as negative.

Ironically it was an anthropologist’s (Dr. Michael Wesch) video that inspired me to finally write the essay. To see many of the real advances in the Web-realm presented in a few minutes, made clear many of the non-advances. The video’s name: “Web 2.0 … The Machine is Us/ing Us” sounds provocative, but the video looks optimistic to me. I suspect that different people see a completely different message in this video depending on their background, and that’s cool too.

Yes, this was my credit card. Most of the available designs were very conservative, but then there was this one. I chose this design because I wanted to see the look on cashiers’ faces when I produced it. It mostly elicited no response at all. I mean LOOK AT THAT THING! The designer’s Mom, and myself, had to be the only two people that chose it. Using that card is like legally changing your middle name to “Danger”. Nobody would do it. Oh. Yeah. Right.

The credit card was meant to help fund the first X Prize project (Ansari).

The card came with a super-low interest rate, a free coffee table pictures-from-space book, and an entry into a sweepstakes every time that you used it.

I won lesser prizes in the sweepstakes many times; you would think that I had that thing rigged. I won a Seiko chronograph watch (3rd prize). I also won multiple ball caps (5th prize), multiple desk sets (5th prize), these Swiss-army-like credit card things that had knives and such in them (ironic, being that it was a credit card sweepstakes)(5th prize): weird stuff. Unfortunately I didn’t win the Big Kahuna Burger prize of $100,000.

The X Prize (I am no longer talking about the sweepstakes prizes here) was eventually won by the SpaceShipOne team. The spacecraft was designed by the famous aircraft engineer Burt Rutan’s Scaled Composites company, and funded by Paul Allen (the quieter Microsoft founder).

Here is the sweepstakes information for those that wanted to enter via the send-in-a-postcard route. I found this information here:

First USA X Prize Sweepstakes
prizes: Grand (1): A flight for one person to sub-orbital space, includes air for 2, lodging, meal allowance, ARV $100,000, if available at time of winner selection,or $100,000 cash alternative. Quarterly (1): A MIG 25 flight for one person, or a Zero G experience, or a trip for 2 to the Kennedy Space Center, or a Space Camp Adventure. 2nd (2): A 286X astronomical telescope, a “Starship Earth” 3D star atlas globe, a Konica digital still camera or a Casio hand-held personal computer, ARV $599. 3rd (5): Seiko chronograph watch, night scope binoculars, a Franklin Mint Columbia Shuttle replica in porcelain or a Grundig aluminum finish short wave radio, ARV $223. 4th (25): Apollo official patches, Nikon aviator frame sunglasses, a 200 x 50mm refractor telescope or an international Star Registry, ARV $70. 5th (200): Merchandise or a mug, ARV $19.
TO ENTER: On plain 3×5 paper, hand print NAZ, Phone, and the words: X PRIZE.
* Mail in envelope to:
      X PRIZE
      P.O. Box 7290
      Melville, NY 11775-7290
NOTE: Must be at least 18. Unlimited entries. Open in US. Entry also online at www.firstusa.com/xprize. F/E ineligible: Visa, First USA, Don Jagoda. J/A: National Judging Institute. W/L: Send SASE beginning after 9/30/98 to X PRIZE SWEEPSTAKES WINNERS, P.O. Box 7999, Melville, NY 11775-7999. The name of the Grand Prize winner will be made available as soon as possible after the drawing but in no event later than 8/30/07.

I believe that MotoLiberty started out in a small store space on Stemmons in Dallas primarily selling full racing suits, but eventually grew to encompass almost every type of motorcycle safety clothing that you can imagine.

MotoLiberty was branded as RS Taichi at Indianapolis; there was no MotoLiberty sign out front. I believe that they are the primary RS Taichi representatives in the United States, although there are definitely other dealers these days.

RS Taichi sells racing-style jackets for small children which is kinda cool. I suspect that they are not meant to be actual safety devices; they are more like an extremely high-quality costume. Either way, what other company does that?

I purchased my first gear from MotoLiberty in 2003, and Kay purchased her first gear from MotoLiberty in 2006 (?), so it’s an important store to me. They give really good advice, and it has always been spot-on.

My first boots were the Sidi Strada Evo’s, or equivalent. My first gloves were the N2 Kangaroo Perforated gloves that MotoLiberty helped develop.

The N2 Kangaroo Perforated gloves flow cooling air better than any other warm-weather glove period. One of the problems with other warm-weather gloves is that almost all of them either have some sort of liner, or are made of a mesh material. These materials create pockets of air which are… wait… here… it comes… pockets of air are what makes insulation work, yet most so-called warm-weather motorcycle gloves have them, forcing One to hold One’s fingers pointed into the airflow in order to cool One’s hands down; not so with the N2 Kangaroo Perforated gloves. The review at the MotoLiberty site is accurate. I can no-longer wear my N2′s, because they eventually ripped when the leather became “crusty”. I did wash them after each trip, but they eventually gave up the ghost. I won’t give-up these gloves though, so I am now using them for protection while using tools.

Here is a picture of Audrey at the races. I will upload more Indy GP content later:

The voters aren’t lawyers and judges. The voters possibly weren’t sufficiently educated about what they were doing. Now, am I saying that every lawyer would have voted against Proposition 8? No. For one-thing Mormons have lawyers too.

It always amazes me that groups-of-people that have been historically treated badly by-others show the same bigotry to other groups-of-people in turn. After all that the Mormons have been put through over plural-marriage (which isn’t marriage at-all) they did this?

What am I talking (err writing) about? This is a church where the men decide whom the women marry (yes, even in 2008; these are the types of things that you learn when you have Mormon relatives). The women in their church don’t have civil liberties. Why wouldn’t they attack gay’s rights? This might actually be a Mormon beach-head. They lost the opportunity to impose their values on non-Mormon women, and dagnamit they are not going to make that mistake again!

Marriage is two completely unrelated things:

1. It’s an agreement between two people, and their god.
2. It’s an agreement between two people, and their state government.

These two things have nothing-at-all to do with each other. Congress should ammend the Constitution to define marriage as #2, and do-away with #1as-far-as-laws-are-concerned. Your church won’t recognize same-gender marriage? Fine. That’s OK, because your church only has dominion over #1 above.

When it comes to things like shared health care benefits and-the-like I believe that the laws should equally apply to everyone. If I can share my health care benefits with my wife by putting her down as my one adult household dependant during open enrollment, then you should be able to do the same with one other related adult. That adult could be a mother, brother, spouse, child, whatever. Just take the concept of marriage totally out-of the picture when it comes to work benefits. That’s not fair you say? Well, why should a single-person’s insurance payments subsidize your spouse? THAT is what’s not fair. Why should a gay person’s insurance payments subsidize YOUR spouse, when you will not allow he-or-she to even have a spouse?

It’s the bigots’ fault that gays can’t marry. Then they turn around and criticize gays for not being married; which is exactly what the “doesn’t have stable relationships” criticism is about.

One adult that is not a close blood-relative should be able to share your life with you, and be afforded all of the rights and responsibilities that go with that regardless of gender.

Do I have any proof that negative ads don’t work? Is this election season enough proof? No, I don’t have proof right now, but I just want to get this out there before I never-get-around-to-ever-writing this essay.

(If you are a recruiter, then please read this paragraph only: just kidding!) One of my “superpowers” is my ability to see patterns in people’s behavior where nobody else can see them. Those managers that have worked with me in stressful problem-solving situations have lauded my ability to problem-solve during problem meetings. I intuitively understand each person’s motivations. I discuss them in a way that doesn’t offend anyone. I keep the discussions to what we logically can prove, and then we get things done. Anyway, this is how I learned about what advertisers really do well; I saw the patterns during actual meetings with clients.

Disclaimer: none of the opinions below are those of any of my past-or-present employers. Please do not assume my explanations are true of any particular company. I have worked with people that have been members of the advertising community at-large at many companies other than the two marketing firms that I have worked-for, and I have learned by observing those experienced individuals.

I worked in the advertising realm for a few years (at Internet marketing consultancies), and I saw over-and-over again how advertisements get made to fit the sensibilities of the guy, or gal, that signs the checks. There is this belief out-there that advertisers know how to subconsciously control the buying habits of the general public, but the truth is this: that new toy’s advertiser knows far less about selling new toys, than they know about selling advertising services, and no, they don’t really use science to improve their techniques.  Although most advertising firm’s employees deep-down believe that their company is highly skilled at selling products.

1. The advertiser learns what the client wants through a creative process that includes iterating over design elements until they have an ad that fits the client’s sensibilities. This process is basically the same for all of the great firms, although they each have a registered-trade-or-service-marked name for that process, and they each claim that their process is special and unique. The firms that don’t know what they are doing? They have registered-service-marks for non-existent processes, and they depend on being lucky when they propose a new ad:
2. The advertiser then produces an ad to fits the client’s sensibilities, wants, and desires. These sensibilities, wants, and desires were learned in step (1).
3. The ad is presented to consumers.
4. The firm collects statistics.
5. The firm communicates those statistics in a way that says, “Yes, Mr. Client. You were correct. This ad that we made to-fit-your-sensibilities was very affective at selling your product!” Please note: these sensibilities are not necessarily those of the company that sells the product: they are those of the most influential individual that regularly met with the advertising firm.
6. The firm then asks: “May we work together some more in the future?”

Man, if I were a magician I would be kicked-out of the guild for revealing my tricks.

So here is a prediction for you: in the near future each person is going to believe that he-or-she knew that Mr. Obama was going to win by a landslide all-along (it is still October as I write about the election in the past tense: that’s how sure I am). Here is the reality: all folks are talking about is how close the race will be, how the economy will affect voters, how John-McCain-said-this will affect that voters, how Sarah-Palin-said-that will affect the voters, how the Wilder-effect-our-version-of-the-Bradley-effect will affect the voters, how negative campaigning will affect the voters, etc. The truth is that none of these things are as important as the fact that most people can see what a good-man Barack Obama is. The big news today- in both local, and national news- is how some racists are admitting that they will vote for Obama because of the economy. These polled people may say that, but the reality is simply that they know deep-down that he is a good man. Republicans: “Please calm the trucking-a down. You did not loose this race to the Democrats, but you will lose this race. We simply chose a good man to run the country. It’s not personal.”

Eight years ago I believed in John McCain. I told friends that I would vote for him when he made it to the general election. I respected John McCain because his decisions, while he was a prisoner-of-war, illustrated that he would do what he believed to-be-right no matter what the cost. I respected John McCain, because of the straight-talking honesty that he exhibited during-and-after the Keating Five Scandal. In John McCain I finally found someone that I could vote for. 

I no longer feel that way. Here is why:

• John McCain has not been honest with us during this campaign.
• John McCain doesn’t understand the first thing about economics.
• John McCain’s hateful, negative campaigning is an insult to the intelligence of all American voters, except Sarah Palin.

In spite of these reasons, I did not vote against John McCain. I voted for Barack Obama (during early voting on 2008-10-21). This is the first election where my vote has not been a protest vote.

You-too should vote for Mr. Barack Obama. This is the only election in our lifetime where a smart, good, and nice person has run for President. This isn’t about a black man running for President; it’s about a great man running for President.

Also: Mr. Barack Obama will get things done as President, because he knows how to compromise with others. That’s why he supported the proposed energy bill, which included off-shore drilling. He has a history of working towards appropriate compromises.

“[It] is our belief that around 50% of the people buying motorcycles have little or no interest in watching sport bike racing. Therefore, we are working on a motorsports product that will feature the popular cruiser models and (get this) 24 paid riders.”  - Roger Edmondson, CEO of Daytona Motorsports Group (a/k/a AMA Pro Racing)

The “AMA” in AMA Pro Racing is not the American Motorcyclist Association, because the American Motorcyclist Association has sold-off all of AMA Pro Racing, and its branding, with the exception of the classes that are already managed by Live Nation (AMA Supercross and AMA Arenacross) to the Daytona Motorsports Group (DMG). There are more details here and here.

Now, it’s no secret that fans were disappointed when the Daytona 200 become an AMA Formula Extreme race. That decision was made, because Superbikes were believed to be too dangerous for Daytona’s banking. Tires heat-up when they flex due to the fact that they are flatter at their contact patch then at other places. Daytona speeds are faster on-the-banking than at other AMA tracks, so more heat is generated by the flexing. Formula Extreme bikes have less horsepower, so they were believed to be safer at Daytona.

Roger Edmondson also said that: “In 2009 Superbikes will again be in the [Daytona] 200” Great! That’s what everyone wants to see! Right? Wrong. The new Daytona Superbike class excludes motorcycles with 1000cc displacement. 4-cylinder superbikes by-definition have 1000cc displacements here, and in every other country in the world. Saying that “2009 Superbikes will again be in the 200″, and then excluding 1000cc superbikes from the class is disingenuous.

Some believe the class changes were made so that the premier class will be safer at some of the more dangerous tracks in the wet (rain). These tracks were once (and maybe still are) considered dangerous by the AMA safety council (a group of responsible rider/representatives that previously worked with the AMA to help track owners prioritize safety changes), because they have obstacles that are too-close to the outside of some corners. I can assure you that the Daytona Superbikes won’t be safer on these tracks, because these smaller bikes go extremely fast in the corners.

Here is what Roger Edmondson told Roadracing World (in an email) about the AMA safety council:

“It’s irrelevant right this minute, as far as I’m concerned. We have not met anybody, and nobody’s ever presented themselves as being a member of it. And frankly, I haven’t asked about it in this particular case. Because, once again, while you may determine that the track is not something you want to ride, I might determine just the opposite. This is my chance for a big payday. And so I don’t think it’s appropriate in issues of this type where a track is approved for competition period that we get riders telling us whether or not it’s appropriate to ride there in the wet.”

Maybe he truly believes that the tracks will be safer as long as the best riders aren’t on 1000cc motorcycles, or maybe DMG wants the class change just so that they can have the best riders in the Daytona 200 (the tail wags the dog)? Personally, I don’t think that anyone should be maimed, or killed, so that Roger Edmondson can have his “chance for a big payday”. Why should it take another Dale Earnhardt or Vincent Haskovec tragedy to get these people to focus on safety?

The irony in all this is that while the AMA (of which I am a member) is avoiding the management of pro racing, they aren’t avoiding the hits to their brand image.

This article used to list details about the proposed classes, but those details are changing all the time. You might be thinking, “Wait-a-minute Paul, all those things need to be ironed out so that the race teams, riders, manufacturers, and sponsors can get their planning, hiring, engineering, and contracts done!” To that I would say, “Yep.”

First AMA says that there won’t be a true AMA Superbike class, then there will, then there won’t. As a result of all of this back-and-forth the Motorcycle Industry Council (MIC) appears to have lost faith in the AMA, and the MIC has announced the formation of its own racing series called the USSB.

• Here is Roger Edmondson’s response to MIC’s announcement.
• Roadracing World has reasons to believe that not even USSB is ready for 2009 though.

…and even while Roger Edmondson is working hard to destroy AMA Superbike racing as-we-know-it: he is planning to create a racing class for cruisers.

So, folks there you have it. USA motorcycle racing is temporarily in shambles, but Rob Dingman believes that this change “is good for motorcycling as a whole.” We will have to see. In the meantime I am rooting for Ben Spies in MotoGP.

…only kidding.  I used to sit on the other side of this contraption.  It’s part of a 101 Dalmatians Halloween Costume, that someone thought was a good idea, but I thought, “It looks like they have those poor office workers working in cages.”

A lot of what you probably think about Wal-Mart is wrong.

My “quotes” (below) are paraphrases of things that I have heard or read recently.

“Those Walton Family members made [insert number here] dollars and they are not giving anything back.”

You see Wal-Mart people giving back to society a lot in Northwest Arkansas.

“But they give nothing back to my state.  All of that money goes out of state, and none of it comes back.  There is this guy named [insert name here] that goes around and talks about this.  He holds up a [insert brand name here] sweater and says, ‘This sweater has $0.75 of labor, and $1.00 of materials, and Wal-Mart sells it for $20.00.’”

I don’t know what Wal-Mart’s markup currently is, and if I did, then I couldn’t tell you.  Let me say this though: back when I was training to be an Ames manager (My training store’s picture is on Wikipedia!) I was taught that discount department stores typically shoot for 10% markup in aggregate, and that large chain grocery stores typically shoot for 3% markup in aggregate.  You can bet that Wal-Mart is shooting for the lowest number possible.  The above sweater example isn’t close to either of those numbers.  Also, materials and labor aren’t the only costs of doing business, but all of any given retailer’s costs of doing business are typically covered by a small margin.

“But Wal-Mart is making all those products.  I know, because you can see their name on them in the store.”

They buy the products from all of the same vendors that every other company does.  Each mature industry typically only has a few big players.  That’s where Wal-Mart gets the products from: mature companies in mature industries.  The folks that work in the Wal-Mart distribution centers could probably tell you who those companies are if they weren’t so loyal, and/or didn’t all sign non-disclosure agreements.  And no, store-brand products aren’t lower quality.  It’s not like factory foremen are running around saying, “We gotta do a worse job on this batch of soap: it’s going in a store-brand box!  Do worse work!”

Another aspect of “they buy the products from all of the same vendors that every other company does” is that Wal-Mart is the wrong target for your anger about how things are made.  If you don’t buy a given company’s product at Wal-Mart, then you will probably end up buying it somewhere else, because there are very few large companies in any mature industry.

“But Wal-Mart uses price pressure to force those companies to lower their quality!”

Price pressure begins when a product becomes commoditized.  This happens with, or without, Wal-Mart.  That’s why XBOX 360 games have almost the same exact price at every retailer.  Xbox 360 games are not a commodity.  Yes, I know that Microsoft sets the price of Xbox 360 games, but that just proves my point.

“But companies like Wal-Mart have made it so that manufacturing is moving overseas.”

Wal-Mart cannot have stores overseas, but refuse to purchase products oversea, and yes, Wal-Mart does have stores in China, Mexico, and many other countries.

Besides: manufacturing is not all moving overseas.  In 2005 the U.S.’ share of global manufacturing was still 21.1%.  That’s right: more than 1/5 of manufacturing revenues world-wide go to the U.S.A.  How much does China manufacture?  8%  (source: FP Quiz, Foreign Policy Magazine September/October 2007)

As a matter of fact our trade deficit shrunk by $100 Billion over the past year.  That means that US exports are increasing dramatically relative to imports.

But what about all of those closed textile mills in North Carolina?

The jobs are somewhere else in the U. S. of A.  Obviously: that’s no comfort to the folks that want to stay in their current hometowns.

To be continued: next I will talk about the stock market and how the money made there has nothing to do with any company’s markup: they are two separate and distinct things.

Read Toby’s Fram review.  It begins with the words: “If anything, the Fram will show you how NOT to build a high performance oil filter.”

Here is my next filter (I copied the picture from www.tobycreek.org):

This discussion is interesting to me, because for a long time I believed that engines always ran better with open breathing.  Scoop more air into the throttle body, remove the exhaust system, and you get more power: instantly.  …only it just ain’t so. Kevin Cameron showed me the error of my ways in his column.  Here is my edited input.

Waves of energy that get pushed back into the airbox while the intake valves are still open, but the crank passes BDC.  Airboxes are sized so that certain frequencies of waves (the ones that are causing problems on the dyno) cancel themselves out: the high energy meets the low energy causing interference: just like noise cancelling headphones.  This cancelation stabilizes the air,  stable air isn’t being pushed out, so more air gets into the engine.  These waves of energy are also what causes induction noise, but the airbox design is actually meant to improve performance where the waves would hurt it; the quiter noise is likely just a side effect.

So what do those little individual filters that you can attach directly to the throttle bodies do?  They also cancel out waves, but at even higher frequencies, unfortunately that negatively affects the bike’s torque and horsepower curves.  The throttle bodies are small (there are shorter distances between the walls, so shorter wavelengths get cancelled out), so the engine works more efficiently at extremely high RPMs, but worse at other RPM’s.   These filters helped racers on old race bikes, because those racers were keeping their engines running at high RPMs anyway.  Those engines also died a lot.

This is also why ram air isn’t on every vehicle.  Ram air is only useful when it’s tuned (like a musical instrument) to the frequencies that don’t keep the air out.  The “big funnel effect” only goes so far.

If you want to change the use of your bike from what the engineers were thinking (such as a show bike, or a racer that no longer rides on the street) and you have a lot of dyno time then you might be able to improve performance, but I would keep this part of the bike the same otherwise.

This begs the question: if the airbox design is so great then why are things like the suspension not?  Well, better suspensions cost more money, but airboxes are dirt cheap after the engineering and tooling is amortized.

Noodling is a traditional form of fishing where the fisher uses his own arm as bait, and risks being wounded, or risks being sucked down by the massive fish.  The movie (Okie Noodling) is fun.  I have a copy. I bought it on a hunch, because I dig The Flaming Lips (soundtrack), and I dig fish.

The practice is controversial, because the fish are pregnant females, so overfishing is risky to catfish populations.  Proud noodlers believe that their techniques are fair, and safe, and say “that’s not noodling” about other folks’ techniques.  The movie doesn’t really explain this, which is unfortunate.

Jeremy Bennett and his friends actually were noodling during the movie’s tournament, and that they actually caught the largest cat, but instead of entering their fish they had more beer, or something.  Yes, that tournament win would have gotten them into the movie, and like everyone in that movie, Jeremy would have said, “that’s not noodling”, but these guys don’t brag about getting the largest catfish, they just eat it.

I can’t make this stuff up.

Talking about Noodling forced me to find an old picture from the very first noodling contest held at Pauls Valley. The pic is in terrible shape; i had to scan it in and then play with colors just so you can view it. These guys were your real winners. Erick Strickland on the left (RIP friend) was the best noodler to ever walk the banks of the soggy Oklahoma rivers. Micheal Martin in the Middle is a [deleted] and a good noodler when he’s not scared. I don’t know the other guy in the picture. The one man missing from this picture is Kieth Lamb, and he is the only person that could ever go 1-on-1 with Erick in technique, finding fish….doing it all. These 2 individuals were the best……….They were your true but not technical winners that day from the okie noodlin video. The fish on the right bumps the scales at about 68 pounds, with the other 2 in the lower 60s. that’s 180 pounds of fish that would have smashed both the biggest stringer and largest single fish weighed in that day, into oblivion ——- Long story short —–these guys were about an hour late to the weigh in. (not to bad considering that the contest lasts for 24 straight hours)

And one more thing, Erick and Keith Noodled the correct way. (There is a correct way to do it). They taught me the correct way. No gloves, sleeves, shirts, hooks, stringers, shoes. Just you, the fish, and the fish’s hole or crevice that it decided to be in that day. You take your blood, cuts, breaks, and scars with the sport. No complainers.

One thing I learned is that beer helped me become a better noodler. It seemed to provide a bit of lubrication between the utter fear of inserting my arm under a rock and waiting for it to get bit – akin to the feeling you get by slamming your hand or forearm in a car door (repeatedly).

Above all……the caught fish get cleaned, and then eventually eaten. very, very little waste. – Jeremy Bennett

The short story is that this is a house that hosts musicians from around the world! The Haunted Kitchen folks feed them vegetarian food, give them a place to stay, and host concerts in the basement of the house.  Check out the article.

Cal also plays in Death and Flowers.

Note: this next part has nothing to do with The Haunted Kitchen.  It’s just the ramblings of an old man.

Now “Back in the day” (1986-1987) we… did nothing like this.  That is: we did not host musicians from around the world! Sure, I remember houses that had concerts.  One of my favorites was 47 Draper, which just happened to be at 47 Draper in Plattsburgh NY.  They also hosted concerts in the basement: stone walls, christmas lights, a pungent mattress, beer, punk rock, and a real mosh pit (you pick folks up when you knock them down, not like these kids brought up on the MTV).  I remember the landlord pacing down in the basement between sets one night.  I could hear him saying, “I own this place.  I own this place.”

The top floor apartment was nursing students, but the first and second floors were mostly musicians and radio station geeks.  Paul K. had a recording studio in one of the rooms.  I remember spending a day writing music with Paul and Carson there.  I didn’t live there though.

One of the guys in Carson’s regular band (Billy Graziadei) went to NYC to “make it big”, and ended up in Biohazard.

“Larry the Landlord’s” house (no, not this guy… at least I don’t think so…) in Potsdam NY (in the early 1990′s) was a place that my band: Hot to Trotsky, used for rehearsals.  The folks at “Larry the Landlord’s” were also vegetarians.  They also had parties with bands, but not from around the world!

CO2 is required by the photosynthesis process. Breathing and burning put more CO2 in the air, plants take the carbon out of the air, and return the Oxygen to the air. Burning is done to provide things to animals. Both processes that add CO2 (burning and breathing) are done by, and for, animals. The only natural process that removes carbon is done by plants (animals get the carbon by eating the plants). If you assume that global warming is real, then the only logical conclusion is too many animals, not enough plants.

The real cause of rising CO2 levels?  Population growth.  Not even Al Gore is willing to talk about that, but that’s what it is.  Al Gore showed us those sharply-rising graphs in An Inconvenient Truth, he even showed the corresponding population growth graph, but he didn’t suggest that we lower the population.

We need less people:

• Let’s say you lower your CO2 production by 50%, but you also have children, (“All right: you lower your CO2 production by 50%, but you also have children.”) and your children have children, and so on.  So, you divided your CO2 production in half but you potentially are responsible for creating 100 times (or… pick a number) that amount of CO2, because you created descendants, that created descendants, and so on, and they all use energy.
• Why aren’t folks talking about this?  …because it means telling people not to have babies, and people will not stop having babies.
• Read Maybe One.

Plants breath CO2: yes, that “evil” carbon footprint is potentially good for plants. The natural carbon-sequestration solution isn’t all of this sci-fi, it is more plants, but more plants means less room for other things that people want.   Raising livestock uses more energy than raising plant-produce.  If we raise less livestock and more plant-produce, then the plants will be sequestering CO2, and less energy will be wasted creating food.

I love electric cars, and I would really like an electric motorcycle. I have been replacing our crazy Lutron switches (these things give new meaning to the words “poor user interface“) with ones that are compatible with CFLs, and using the CFLs.  I would rather get electricity from wind, solar, and hydro.

Carbon dioxide is not toxic though.  It’s a natural part of our world that is absolutely essential for life on earth. No CO2 means no plants.  No plants means we all die.  Admittedly too much of anything can be bad for you, but I don’t want to hear about my “carbon footprint” from people that aren’t willing to do what’s necessary to change their own.

Would you buy a:

• Non-diversified investment, with a
• 30-year commitment, for
• Ownership that gains 1% APR, but costs 2-4 times that much, and
• Won’t break even for at least 7 years, assuming that the market stays healthy?

I have just described the average single family home real estate investment.

The best reason to buy a house? You want to live in it! If you love your house then by all means BUY IT! But don’t buy more house than you want as a way of saving money. There are much safer ways to save money.

Lots of folks think that this housing market is a fluke, but might actually be a return to more appropriate valuations.

Earlier I mentioned that you only get a 1% rise in price. How can you check this? Use Zillow-or-similar to do your own real estate assessments. Compare a new house to a 200-year-old home. In most cases, if the homes are comparable, then the price per square foot will be extremely close.

My how things have changed since I wrote this essay in 2009. Governor Romney pandered to the voters in the 2012 Presidential Election—by continuously insulted the President of the United States for adopting a national health care plan—that is almost exactly like Governor Romney’s plan for Massachusetts. Massachusetts’ plan works, and Romney knows it; that’s why he signed-it, and that’s why it the United States adopted it.

Our country has adopted Governor Romney’s and Massachusetts’ health care plan, and Governor Romney pandered to the Republican voters by insulting the

This is a new version of my contributions to Are emergency rooms really that big a drag on the medical system? on The Straight Dope board (A message board for fans of The Straight Dope).  I highly recommend The Straight Dope.   If your favorite newspaper doesn’t carry it, then go here. Everyone knows Snopes.com. The Straight Dope has a different purpose, but it is Snopes equal in the fight against ignorance.

Emergency rooms shouldn’t be free, but they must help everyone, and some never pay the bill. If a patient doesn’t pay her bill, then who ends up paying it? The hospital does at first, but ultimately we all do. As Shodan said, “If you are mandated to treat everyone whether they can pay or not, you have to charge those who pay more to cover for those who don’t.” We now have a national health care system without a detailed policy for those that cannot pay. The patients, the insurance companies, and the Physicians have little means of controlling those costs.

I was in poverty for many years. I am certainly not against care for the poor. Being “against” national health care is meaningless. We have had it for some time (whether we are talking about Medicaid, Medicare, or yes, those that simply don’t pay). The question is whether we want control over what is happening, or not, and “not” is just bad business.

How bad is the problem? Go here to read Malcolm Gladwell’s Million Dollar Murray. Here is a teaser quote: “Culhane estimates that in New York at least sixty-two million dollars was being spent annually to shelter just those twenty-five hundred hard-core homeless.”

Being against national health care is unreasonable. We have it, we just do it really badly. Lets stop doing it badly.

The word “star” and “angel” were once synonymous, but our understanding of what “heaven” became more accurate when we learned what stars are: heaven wasn’t the literal sky, it was someplace else. Interestingly we continue to say things like: “up in heaven,” “the heavens above,” and “the angels watching over us,” even though we now understand that they aren’t literally in our sky.

We did not throw religion out because science encroached on it. The meanings of the words become more accurate instead. Ideas that evolve like this are called “memes”. Dr. Richard Dawkins invented that word to account for ideas that evolve. (“Meme” is from the words “memetics” and “gene”.)

Religious scientists, at various times, have used well-designed experiments to prove that prayer works, and they always end up with the same answer: prayer is exactly as effective as talking to a loved one, or a therapist. 

How could our understanding of religion change in light of this? Maybe God is hands-off until after we die? That would work.

In the meantime actually helping people is more effective than praying for them.

I couldn’t adopt Gershwin when Kay and I married.  I had to wait a year (that’s Kansas Law), even though:

1. There is no “real” father (Gershwin was abandoned).
2. Kay was single when she adopted Gershwin, so there wasn’t even a “real” stepfather.

I also couldn’t legally change my name when Kay and I married (that’s Sexist Kansas Law), but that’s another story.

Ironically, the Azerbaijani bureaucracy demanded that a father’s name be put on the birth certificate, even though their government provided the proof that there was no father.  In the eyes of these post-Soviet bureaucrats: this isn’t lying, it’s filling out the form correctly.  Kay put “Santo Kile” in the blank.  I would have been tempted to write “Not Applicable”, the clerks didn’t read English anyway, and that would have made Gershwin’s name “Gershwin Rose Not Applicable” in the Azeri tradition!  I can’t make this stuff up.

THANK YOU ATTORNEY KEVIN COOK!!!

Ben’s dad Dave Luce was one of the primary engineers of Moog Synthesizers.  A Google search of “Luce Moog“ produces this interview that really bothers me.  Why?  These guys as the ultimate Moog fans.  Ben even built his own Moog.  The interview appears to have inspired a number of critical, mean-spirited flames.

His father was a huge influence on Ben.  I went on a trip to Ben’s parent’s house, and visited his father’s office one time.  It was interesting meeting a real inventor.  He had this 3D printer.  You sent a CAD file to it, and it would sculpt the object, and this was in the ’90s! He seemed like the type of person that could get along with anyone.

I think that Dave Luce also invented those eye-puffer things that check for glaucoma. (Ben, feel free to correct me here, or anywhere else.)

Anyway, Ben reinvented himself a number of times throughout the years.  He taught Physics in college, earned a PhD., did research at the Los Alamos National Laboratory, and became a lobbyist at the state level in New Mexico.  As a lobbyist he was fighting for renewable energy: mostly solar.  This is in contrast to many lobbyists that are funded by big business: mostly coal and oil.

To be sure I don’t see many enemies there.  The market is non-evil.  It just is.  Real Estate has always been a very risky business.  Why?  …because buildings aren’t liquid capital, and houses eat up a large part of one’s income, so one isn’t diversified when one buys a house.  What do I call a non-liquid, non-diverse investment?  I call it a gamble.  Still, if you really want to live in that house, and that house is for sale, then you will need to buy it.

Me?  I tend to prefer to go the Coliag route, which is to rent, while putting the difference between what I pay for rent and what I would have paid for a house into diversified funds.  Coliag (not his actual name) did so well this way that he was buying things like cars, computers, and photographic equipment with cash… before the age of 44, and he stilled had a great retirement stash.  The man was frugal and it paid-off, plus he didn’t need to worry about mowing the lawn.

Yes, some folks have done really well buying and selling their houses, but guess what?  It’s still a gamble, and the baby boom that drove the long-term-run-up is over.

My first house purchase was in Plano Texas… just North of Richardson’s Telecom Corridor…  just before the Dot-bomb-bubble-burst.  IT is a luxury, and spending on luxuries slows down when the overall economy slows down. Yes, I know, “But computer jobs are important.” …but they are not. If I run a foundry that makes car parts, and business is slow, then do you think that I am going to buy more aluminum, or complete my new HR IT project? That’s the real story of the dot-bomb implosion. The media focussed on the failing dotcoms, but that didn’t account for most of the layoffs. We had too many computer programmers, working on too many projects, at too many companies, that were still needing to “buy their aluminum”. In a slowdown-like-that the luxuries go first. My industry went first.

I survived one-layoff-per-quarter for 5 years at two different companies, but when I finally was “affected” it was certainly not within my control: the company that I worked-for went from around 2500 workers to less-than 250 during my period with them.  No-one is safe when the cuts run that deep.  Folks said, “Why aren’t you looking for another job?” and then looked at me like I was some kind of freaky alien when I said: “There aren’t many available jobs for what I do, so I am going to focus on doing the best job that I can at my current position.”

1. I lost my job, and most people that do-what-I-do were already flooding the job market.  I could no longer afford my house, because I had too-little work (I never completely stopped working).
2. My foreign national neighbors, most of whom were great engineers, were forced to go home, when they also lost their jobs, and couldn’t afford to pay Dallas Texas real estate prices, and also live in India, or wherever, so many of them were forced into foreclosure.  This drove down the value of my house.  So I couldn’t afford to sell it.
3. I could not afford to rent-out my house, because any potential renters could simply buy my neighbors’ houses for peanuts.  I was very dissapointed with  NPR‘s recent article about renting-out your house if you can’t sell it.  The interviewie had a good experience doing that… when the market was hot… and the article implied that y’all will have the same experience now.  It’s just not so.
4. The housing market in my area-of-town completely crashed as developers put their new houses on the market, because these builders were also competing with the foreclosures.  Spec builders make building decisions based on yesterday’s demand: where “yesterday” was around five years ago, but the housing market moves up-and-down much faster than that.  (This is is the type of thing that makes it tough to sell a house in Phoenix these days.)  Plus, new houses are luxuries, and “spending on luxuries slows down when the overall economy slows down.” <– I just quoted myself!  (Why 5 years?  They need roads, and sewers, and utilities, and government approvals, and so on.)
5. …then my car got totalled.
6. …my spouse divorced me (actually that happened before the layoff).
7. …my arthritis got worse.
8. …and someone kicked my dog.  No, I just made that part up.  I didn’t have a dog.

How much did I lose by “owning” that house for three years?  It cost me $100,000 more (two closings, two residences, and a 30,000 loss in value) than I would have paid for renting one apartment, but hey, my (former) spouse wanted that house, so we bought it.  I now had no job, no family, and no savings.  Swell.

My plan was to work as much as possible, while spending my free time either looking for better work, or riding my motorcycle to Wendy’s for that great dollar menu.  Really.

I followed every lead.  I went to a Diversity Job Fair like this one (because how diverse would it really be without at least one white male?  That’s a joke.  Actually, it was because I was going to every job fair.)

So I go to the hotel that’s hosting the job fair, and they have 30-or-so companies arrayed around a large conference room.  Two of those companies were tech companies.  Hundreds of people were in line to speak to those two companies.  One of the companies was looking for Math folks with top-secret government clearance to work on a flight simulator or something (not a good fit for me), and the other one wasn’t taking resumes.  They simply asked every person to go to their Web site.  Well…  Well, why not talk to everyone else?

The Wal-Mart recruiter that was there explained to me that she was hiring night stockers for the Christmas rush, and I told her that I loved doing night stocking when I worked in retail, plus that I would really like to move to Bentonville Arkansas to work for the IT department there.  She told me that she would take my resume back to Arkansas.  I assumed that it would just be tossed.  It wasn’t.

Wal-Mart called me up.  I had a few interviews.  They asked me to fix something that couldn’t be fixed in the way that they wanted it to be fixed (this “something” happened to be listed on my resume). I told them what could, and couldn’t be accomplished.  I have integrity, so I was clear about the situation.

During one of the interviews Jeff (the manager) spins around in his seat and types “W. Paul Caligiuri” (my old name) into Google and finds the Web site that I set up to sell my house.  He laughs and says: “Did you put this up yesterday in order to impress us about how confident you are about this job?” or something like that.  “Well… No.”  I didn’t explain that the Web site had been up for years.  Bentonville Arkansas had a booming economy.  So that’s how I ended up in Arkansas: the best motorcycling-place in the US of A.

I had to pay for the Texas house for 1.5 years of my stay in Arkansas.  It was simply that hard to sell.  I would go down there every other weekend, and work on it.

I suspect that lots of folks are being burned by the mortgage crisis, but that we only hear about the fringe cases, because the fringe cases make for better stories (just like in the dot-bomb days).  Also, Real Estate is:

• Not-liquid
• Not-diverse
• A gamble
• …and a luxury, and “spending on luxuries slows down when the overall economy slows down.” <– I just quoted myself!

Oh, and the MasterCard ad was a really bad idea on someone’s part.

There’s lots of bad ads out there.  They don’t get made “because they work”, they get made because advertising firms know more about selling their own services, than they know about selling their client’s products.

THE END

I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Kay sent me a link to Jon Meacham’s New York Times editorial: A Nation of Christians Is Not a Christian Nation.  Jon is the Editor of Newsweek, which has become very open to discussions about faith under his watch, and the author of American Gospel: God, the Founding Fathers, and the Making of a Nation.  Here is Jon’s Newsweek article about the subject: God and the Founders.

Here is a quote from Anna Quindlen’s: Indivisible? Wanna Bet?

So let’s go to the history books, as citizens of this country so seldom do.  The Pledge of Allegiance started in 1892 as a set piece in a magazine, nothing more, nothing less.  It was written by a man named Francis Bellamy in honor of Columbus Day, a holiday that scarcely exists anymore except in terms of department-store sales and parades.  The words “under God” were nowhere in it, hardly surprising since Bellamy had been squeezed out of his own church the year before because of his socialist leanings.  His granddaughter said he would have hated the addition of the words “under God” to a statement he envisioned uniting a country divided by race, class and, of course, religion.

Those two words went into the pledge nearly 50 years ago, and for the most deplorable reason.  It was the height of the Red scare in America, when the lives of those aligned or merely flirting with the Communist Party were destroyed by paranoia, a twisted strain of uber-patriotism and the machinations of Sen. Joseph McCarthy, after whom an entire vein of baseless persecution is now named.  Contrary to the current political argument that “under God” is not specifically devout, the push to put it in the pledge was mounted by the Knights of Columbus, a Roman Catholic men’s organization, as an attempt to counter “godless communism.” President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed a bill making this law, saying that the words would help us to “remain humble.”

When people say things like, “This is a Christian nation.  92% of Americans believe in God, so atheists should be quiet” they are saying a hateful thing.  If you don’t recognize that as hate speach, then try this version on for size: “This is a [insert arbitrary skin color here] nation…”

“Now the argument that America is a ‘Christian nation’, created by Christians for Christians and traditionally, therefore rightly, dominated by a Christian majority, could just as easily be extended to calling America a ‘white male nation’ and a demand to once again disenfranchise women and minorities. I’m sure we could find a biblical basis for that, as was done in the past, as well as plenty of precedent in law, so long as we went back before the 20th century for our rhetoric” … “No difference in the basic bigoted impulse, or the structure of the argument.” - Bruce Springsteen, Lawrence KS,

SOMA listserv, 2007-08-06

My interest in this video is not religious; if it inspires anyone to recognize and confront their own prejudices, then that is a very good thing.

So, with all that out of the way, “enjoy” the film.

*added*  To give an idea of how swift the water is coming out; look at the third picture.  These are the rocks that we stand on to fish; they are right next to the 40 foot tall retaining wall.  I was using a 12′ surf rod fishing with live bait, and a 4 ounce sinker attached. I would throw my bait along with 4 oz of lead (a very large sinker by anyone’s standards) as far out as the 12′ surf rod would allow, and within about 5 seconds the current would take it all the way down to the edge of the bank, about 100 yards down river.  If you don’t catch a fish in the initial 5 seconds, you have to reel your bait in as fast as you can over all of the submerged rocks and hope you don’t hang up; either on a rock or someone else’s line.  I met some really cool people down there.  Interestingly, most of the people fishing are of Asian descent, especially Vietnamese and Bengali (from Bangladesh). They gave me some really good ideas and recipes for cooking striper…much better culinary delight than my standard Southern, cornmeal basted frydaddy method.

The lake has now risen about a foot since these pics were taken.  I am still in pursuit of a giant striper to hang on the wall…..so more to come.

Jeremy Bennett

I experienced my first tank slapper on 2007-06-20.  That’s when a harmonic instability causes the handlebars to swap from side-to-side as far as they can go (AKA full lock).  I purchased a Suzuki SV650SA7 one month earlier (2007-05-19), and I already have over 1200 miles on it.   Anyway, I was coming out of the parking lot on the NE corner of Iowa and 23rd in Lawrence, KS after lunch.  These cars were coming at me pretty fast so I wanted to accelerate out-of-there.  I gunned it while I was leaned over.  First the rear wheel starts spinning, or I hit a false neutral, or who knows what (VROOOOOOM), and then the handlbars are doing a high speed dance (JIGGY-JIGGY-JIGGY), and left foot comes of the peg.  Afraid?  HAH!  Danger is my middle name!  Embarrassed?  You bet.

Here is a video of a tank slapper that looked like mine:

Here is a much-worse-ending one:

(The section above was written on 2007-05-01.  It’s now 2007-05-04.)

Here is what I remember:

• Kay, and I checked into the Tampa Embassy Suites (near Channelside) on April 27.  I began noticing military men milling around the hotel lobby.  I thought, “What a nice place to let them stay before they leave for duty. “  Well, that isn’t very likely, is it?  (*cough* Building 18 *cough*)
• The American soldiers weren’t wearing any symbols-of-rank.
• I saw at least one Australian, one Romanian, and one Iraqi soldier there.
• I followed a friendly Australian soldier to the registration desk.  I was going there to get change for the laundry.  He was going there to ask the desk clerk to call General Pace for him.  Well, the desk clerk looked really confused, and she wasn’t able to call General Pace for some reason.  She was able to give me change for the laundry though.  BTW: General Peter Pace is the Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and uh, Google rocks, and I don’t trust my own memory to be sure that he said, “Pace”, but I do think that was the name that I heard him say.
• I passed their main conference room on the way to do the laundry.  The sign in the window said: “COALITION CONVENTION OPS”.
• There was a private-party-poolside on the-night-of April 30.  Kay and I hopped onto the elevator to go to the third floor to get our now-cleaned-and-dried laundry.  The man to the left of me had a name tag with the words “Coalition in Iraq” on it, and the title on his nametag was “Mr.”, and the country on his nametag was “US”.  The man to the right of me had a similar name tag, but his title was “MG” instead of “Mr.”, his country was “Iraq”, instead of “US”, and “MG” is an abbreviation for “Major General”, and uh, Wikipedia rocks.  The folks that went to the party were wearing suits.  My guess is that it is disrespectful to be seen drinking in public while wearing the uniform, but I don’t actually know why they ditched the fatigues.   Interestingly enough “Mr.” was still wearing some type of boot; he probably wasn’t comfortable without them.
• The sign on the way to the private party said, “J5 MacDill“. You all wear civilian clothes, but put your true purpose on a sign in front? That’s more Dilbert than 007.
• President Bush came to Tampa the very next day to explain to the troops that there would be “chaos” if US troops withdraw from Iraq.  IF?

Needless to say I came up with a few of silly things to say to Kay.  Things like:

• I thought that we were going to the embassy?  This is the Embassy Suites.
• Hah, hah, Joe may be a Lieutenant Colonel, but he’s the lowest rank here, let’s have him watch the hotel, while we go see the President.  (There was actually one soldier left to stand in the lobby on the day that the President came to Tampa.)

The “Quagmire Accomplished” protestors were all at the heavily guarded front gate of MacDill AFB (this photo is not from there), but the actual people running the war were in the unguarded Embassy Suites hotel.