Now then, where’s my beads????

I’ve never gotten any Mardi Gras beads but I think I’d like the pretty metallic-y ones the best!

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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When your first line of communication is text-based, you  really should try to make a good first impression. I don’t mean that you need to hire Cyrano to ghost-write your profile, or be insincere or embellish anything. Be yourself. However, be yourself with decent spelling, grammar and punctuation. We’re not grading here (unless you message a teacher) but it speaks louder than your words: It says “I don’t care”.  For reference, Case File #267:

His first message:

Hey how are you
I am Shane I would like to talk and get to know you
I saw you and I have a bit in common and seem to be looking ¹
for the same things let me know ifi ts possible
shane

My response:

#1. I do not know what the hell this means: “you are defiantly raland honest then i look foward to getting to know you” ²

#2. You live more than an hour from me. Which means you didn’t read my profile. ³

#3. You would not consider having an open relationship – since I am married, that would make things impossible ⁴

#4. You seem to be a conservative Christian. We have very opposing views that I find important. ⁵

Are you just sending this same message out to everyone, hoping someone will take the bait? Seems like it.⁶

His “zinger”:

omg seriously no i am not sending same message
you way over analyze things and read to much into things that are not there
and i was simply trying to talk and get to know you
its your personality alone right there in this email that i a huge turn off
and that will keep u from getting a decent man if you do they will be nothing more then a door mat cause i am not one to sit by and talk to anyone who insults me when all i did was try and be nice and talk to them learn how to approach people you are shallow and close minded and personally it makes you insignificant take care dont bother replying im blocking you⁷

Other gems from his profile include:

“Looking for the right person to get to know see where it can lead and have turn to some thing long term and amazing. Hey wait lol a guy who is not afraid of commitment lol.”

“im not a bar or club person
not my style like going out butttttttt
would rather be with someone i am with at home”

“I DO NOT DO FWB FLINGS OR RANDOM HOOK UPS
SO IF THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE INTO PLEASE DO NOT MESSAGE ME “

I didn’t change a thing on those.

This says so many things to me. First, he’s 34. He’s way past the “text speak” generation (which is never any excuse, anyways). Unless the whole entire profile was written from his smartphone OkCupid App, then the lack of punctuation, capitalization, sentence structure and odd line spacing just scream “Lazy”. I really don’t know what else to think. Theory is, you’re trying to woo people, impress them, show your best side. If this is his best side then I’d hate to see the rest.

Make your first message count. Make it personal, but on the flip side don’t write 4 long paragraphs. If you have things in common, point them out. Ask a question other than “Hey what’s up / how are you / does this thing work for you”. *yawn* I actually say right off the bat in my profile to please not just message me with “Hey what’s up” or “Hi” or “Nice pics” because it’s lazy and I won’t respond. It’s the first sentence. So when I get message like that, and yeah of course I do, they immediately get trashed because it’s clear they didn’t read my profile. And if you’re on a site like OkCupid – why in the fuck wouldn’t you read someone’s profile before messaging them??

Comments

• February 21, 2012, Sxybklvr writes: On OKC myself and always amazed. Valid points made in your post. Maybe someone will read it and learn. :)
• February 21, 2012, Kira writes: This exactly is why I finally gave up on online dating. People with nothing in common with me messaging me with "hi. ur hot." People who didn't want the same things I did messaging me. People who were morons. I never found one decent person in my area from online dating. I did meet lovely girls that lived too far from me which mad me sad (even though my profile did say "don't message if you live more than X miles away"). Sadly, OkCupid was the best one I used for lack of idiots. If you think that's bad, try Adult Friend Finder of Plenty of Fish. *HEADDESK*

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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Open to US participants – Win a Tantus Anaconda dildo or their Bend Over Intermediate kit (plus a t-shirt!) – Contest ends Feb 29th

Now that I’ve told you everything nerdy about silicone sex toys and Tantus sex toys, you get a chance to own one! The winner will get to choose between the Anaconda ¹ or the Bend Over Intermediate Kit (I’m sure the lovely Jenna will let you choose your favorite color).

The Anaconda dildo is awesome because it has a handle. It’s a dildo..on a stick. ² Ok no it’s not on a stick, sorry. But it is really unique. The Anaconda is made of a very firm silicone – for those of you familiar with the Flex, it’s like that, or those of you familiar with any O2 dildo it’s like the bottom layer. Solid, very solid. This enables the handle to actually, yanno, be a handle. It’s nearly a foot long overall, with 4″ of handle and 7″ of dildo (which is 1.75″ wide). You’ll have your choice of 3 colors.

The Bend Over Intermediate kit is great for pegging or vaginal sex. The super-comfortable Bend Over harness has a padded front, holds a bullet vibe for the wearer, and comes with 2 dildos, the Silk Medium: 1.25″ x 5.5″ and the Silk Large: 1.5″ x 7″. The harness will fit hips up to 60″. The o-ring snap point is really secure because it has 4 straps that hold the o-ring, not just 3. You can pick either the black or the purple kit.

I’ll be using the handy Rafflecopter to take in entries. If you have any questions at all on how to quantify your entry, leave a comment on this post and I’ll get back to you. While I would love to use the honor system, not everybody that enters contests is honorable, sadly, so I’ll need the link for confirmation (smart people will TEST their link to make sure it leads to something I’ll be able to see, or include a link to a screenshot of the submission to Reddit/Stumble/Digg if all else fails). Invalid entries will get tossed, I won’t be hunting you down to fix it. You may share a single post across all 4 social media sites, but then you can’t share/submit that one again for this contest.

p.s. did you know that you can use Facebook to sign into Stumbleupon & Digg? Makes it pretty easy to get daily entries.

The winner will get to choose between the Anaconda or the Bend Over kit; the winner will also get a t-shirt! (sizes S-3X) And yes, there will only be one winner overall, not one winner for each prize – I simply wanted my winner to have options. There’s plenty of things to do every day for an entry, though! Please be sure to read the terms and rules, k?

Since I clearly have to spell this out: Note to those doing the Facebook entries: You must be logged into Facebook when you “like” things, and do it through the Like button within Rafflecopter. If you don’t, it won’t provide me a link to your facebook, and without that I have no way of verifying your entry. Therefore, your entry will be invalid and removed, you won’t be entered into the drawing.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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Photo courtesy of Penny

Welcome to e[lust], the sex blog round-up- The best posts from the hottest and smartest sex bloggers all in one place! This edition highlights topics such as STI’s, swingers and poly relationships, spanking, role play and so much more. Want to be included in e[lust] #34? Start with the rules, come back in February to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ The Top Three Posts ~

I’m The 48% – I keep breathing. Strangely enough, the world didn’t end at that precise moment. I felt numb. I stared at those two red lines on the monitor.

Can Swingers be Happily Married? Long Term? – Swinging can be an exhilarating experience. It requires sincerity, honesty, vulnerability, strength, forgiveness, and patience.

Secretary - I was a little worried: my intentions in placing the ad had been purely dishonorable, but her response offered no evidence that she correctly divined my intentions.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Why I Write – And Respect – Negative Sex Toy Reviews – I call a spade a spade, and name it out for being crap no matter if it’s $39 crap or $139 crap. Crap is crap and you shouldn’t have to buy it.

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

A Little Spanking Can Go A Long Way – All I could do was hold on until it was over. It was more than I could take, but I took it and, of course, I loved it.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Click here to read more

Erotic Writing

A Great Fuck
all my weight on her
Afterglow
a Masturbation Story
Bunco Night!
Fag-Break Fuck
Having him in my mouth
hypnopompic Apparition
Kiss Me There
Naked Underwater
Sodom: Enter the Fist
Soothed
Starvation

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Beginner’s Guide to Spanking
A Matter of Lube
Attraction, Rejection and Uncertainty
Bad Vibes, Generally
Fluidity: Growing-up Poly Part VI
Going Down
Making Love
Never Pinch a Sadist
Near Outing due to Outrage
Porn, Pubic Hair, Sex & Reality
Sadie Says … Remember Santa Barbara

Kink & Fetish

Cruor
Hungry Beast
Later that afternoon – Part IV
Long-distance Roleplay & BDSM
Reflecting on Vacation Playtime: Part III: Tent Slut Slapped
The Dungeon Club

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Odd Sex laws around the World
Post-Brazilian

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

No related posts.

Silicone sex toys are heralded as the most superior sex toy material to many people. Silicone dildos can vary through a range of densities and silicone vibrators can feel plush without the potential for harm (like jelly or rubber). I picked the brain of Metis Black¹, the fabulous woman behind Tantus Inc, makers of some very awesome silicone sex toys. She is one of very few sex toy manufacturers that I fully trust to tell me the truth. Get your sex geek on and find out some myths and facts about silicone sex toys!

Myth or Fact: Silicone sex toys will “melt” or degrade if they touch each other while in storage

I own a lot of silicone. Scratch that; I own a lot of quality, true silicone. And I’m not diligent about storage. So if there’s anybody who can say that this is a myth, it’s me. And Metis. I asked her about this and she said:

I think this came from so many toys that were TPR or TPE that were (and continue to be) mislabeled silicone. Thermoplastic materials melt because they are unstable (they have free electrons that try to bond to other materials). As these electrons leave the toy, the toy disintegrates. No silicone is going to melt. At 600 degrees F it turns ashy. A silicone toy like the O2, with extra soft silicone, may burn off some of the dimethicone – flaming a little and becoming sooty- but still not melting.

So in other words if your silicone sex toy has any issues in your toybox, then it’s either not truly silicone or some rogue silicone lube from another toy got on it.

Myth or Fact: Silicone lube should never, ever be used with a silicone sex toy!

99% of the time you will be told that you shouldn’t use silicone lube with a silicone sex toy. I’ve parroted that info as well because it’s all I know. However a couple of manufacturers, Fun Factory for one, used to² advertise that you could use silicone lubes with their silicone sex toys. 

The Metis quick-n-dirty science geek answer:

The only thing that links silicone molecules is silicone so that’s why you may need to avoid lubes. The quality of the silicones in the lubricant and in the toy make a lot of difference.

Let’s say you really like your silicone sex toys and you really like using them in the bath or shower. Water-based lubes will fail you here. Are you out of luck? Not quite. A higher quality silicone lubricant won’t mess up a silicone sex toy - usually (Metis recommends Sliquid and Pjur brands)

Even with these brands we recommend you do a patch test (just like you’re supposed to with hair dye): on the base of the toy put a dab of lube and see if the lube gets gummy (it doesn’t ever melt). If it does get gummy it will happen pretty quickly and with only a small patch, you can clean it off with your finger nail.

So if it’s possible that yes, the two CAN meet, why the drumbeat of “Use only water based lubes!”? Litigation.

It became a liability issue when someone claimed it “melted” the toy as they were playing with it and so the customer went to the hospital. The companies who made the lubricant and the dildo paid that hospital bill and made a settlement; they also started publicizing that their materials were not compatible.

If you purchase both high-quality lubes and sex toys³ then you should be safe to mix, but test it first. I can tell you that the Fun Factory Body Fluid was smeared all over a Fun Factory and 2 Tantus silicone items with absolutely zero reaction that damaged the toy. There was a little bit of a “machine shop” odor though (see really-long-footnote #2 if you haven’t already).

Silicone is perfect, it is non-porous and the ultimate in safety! Right?

A few weeks ago I pulled out some travel bottles called Go  Toobs that are a soft, silicone body and plastic flip cap. They boast as being really great for travel. What they don’t tell you is that they’re using a lesser grade of silicone. It’s food-safe grade, which is still pretty good quality, but everything in my travel tubes dried up. I thought, how is this possible? And the woman from the company tells me that silicone is porous. Wait, what? This went against everything I’ve been told and have told others about silicone sex toys. They’re non-porous! Body safe! Yes, they are. For the most part.

Technically silicone has very tiny pores and is virtually non-porous. The pores are smaller than virus’ and bacterias- but some smells can be absorbed⁴. With time those smells will go away- you can try putting lemon juice on it (though I haven’t tried it) and see if that helps.

Ok so they can still be sanitized. They’re not going to hold onto larger-spored things like mildew, viruses or bacteria. This is the important stuff. An odor can be gotten rid of. Just keep an eye on your anal toys consider 10% bleach washes more often on those.

ETA:Super-soft silicones, like the outer layer on the Tantus O2 dildos, can absorb small amounts of dye depending on the situation. A few years ago it was reported that ForYourNymphomation sex toy cases had a lining with a dye that could transfer to certain toys. The more solid silicones will not take on any dyes but really soft types can. They’re still medically non-porous, however.

Myth or fact: If you see a clear (or stretchy, i.e. a cock ring) “jelly-like” sex toy that claims to be silicone, it really isn’t

This is fact.

Contact Lenses can be made from silicone so yes it can be ultra clear- however silicone that clear is really hard, brittle and about 10 times as expensive for raw materials. It’s beautiful but I’ve never been able to figure out an application in toys where I could justify charging that much. If it’s clear and super stretchy- there is no way it’s silicone. Tantus is shortly introducing the first super soft c-rings- they are nicely stretchy. Every buyer who’s seen them has been really excited- they are coming out later this month, in about a week. As you’ll see however, these rings aren’t clear.

Which leads me to the next question…..

How can the consumer tell if their sex toy is truly pure silicone, and not a blend?

Really it’s still a buyer beware situation. After we burned “silicone” in Australia a few years back, another vendor friend said his stuff was silicone- I told him it wasn’t. I saw this friend’s website recently telling me and you that all their crystal clear super stretchy cock rings were silicone. They aren’t. China told them they were though, and they seem to be sticking to China’s authority. Remember most “manufacturers” don’t manufacture anything but package design and sales strategies. Sometimes them do some engineering but often they don’t even do that. This allows companies to rapidly enter the market- all they need is a warehouse for storing boxes.

Now, Metis isn’t recommending that we all turn into pyromaniacs, but the infamous “lighter test” will work to “melt” TPR, Sil-a-gel, and other silicone-look-a-like materials.

What do all these words mean, isn’t silicone silicone? What makes Japanese silicone better than medical grade and what is platinum? Why do they have to confuse us??

Because they’re salesmen? Platinum isn’t just a word used for high-selling albums and expensive wedding bands. Metis said first to me, in part replying about the lube compatibility issue that “It’s about different chemistry, some lesser grades of materials bonding. Originally it was a Tin not a Platinum silicone (this refers to chemicals that are in the silicone which make the two liquids into a solid– vulcanize it).” But of course you’ll never see Tin used to describe a sex toy.

The refining process of making silicone was originally created by GE back in the 50′s and they sold the patent to Dow. Then GE apparently figured out the value of it, and created a totally separate method of processing it. There are several other raw processors who make the base materials from sand, ‘silica’. One is a German company Wacker, another a Japanese company Shin Etsu. The only reason to reassure people that it’s Japanese or German is because there is inherent quality believed by consumers to belong to products coming from those two countries.

So apparently the general public has been heavily swayed by cars. Awesome. Also? “Wacker”. *snickers* Yes, I’m 12.

But on the other side of the naming coin is the trickery used by lesser quality manufacturers to make us think that something is silicone. Cybersilicone, TPR-Silicone, Sil-a-Gel, “Crystal Cote” toys – none of these are 100% pure Platinum, Medical-Grade Silicone. They may contain some silicone but they still retain the porous properties of whatever else they’re mixed with – i.e. they’re not as safe or hygienic.

Is there a difference between the shiny silicone, the matte silicone, the stuff they stretch over vibrators, etc?

Yes and no. I started off comparing things like the shiny and hard Feeldoe to the matte texture of the soft-exterior Cush O2. Metis said:

Matte silicone just has a different finish on the master or the mold. Molds on the Feeldoe, for example, are highly polished. The difference with the Cush is that the super soft silicone has a different chemistry- it has more of the silicones that are in lube, making it a little less stable (with silicone lubes). 

Ok but what about the silicone that gets stretched over mechanical vibrators?

The silicone on a Lelo, or a WeVibe, etc, is an injection material that needs heat in order to cure. You can make dildos with this material too but it’s a process that is much more effective with thin small amounts than with larger amounts.  You can tell a silicone toy that is injected like this because the molds have parting lines with small tolerances. Most of Fun Factories designs are made this way. Vixen and Tantus’ products mostly aren’t. The silicone again for both processes is very safe and stable.

Myth: Silicone doesn’t feel as “realistic” though as Cyberskin/Jelly! Silicone isn’t as fun/sparkly! Silicone is expensive!

I hear too many people trying to defend lesser quality materials with arguments like these. Silicone doesn’t mimic a realistic feel or look? Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. Mentioned before, the Tantus O2 line is a dual-density that has a really firm core with a layer of plushy silicone over top. Vixen Creations also makes some very realistic dildos. Two things though that these manufacturers won’t have in the “realism” department that a gross rubber/cyberskin dildo will have: multiple colors for a realistic skin look and/or fake pubic hair. I mean, if you really have a burning need for that dildo to fool you into thinking it is a magical, dismembered human penis then I can’t stop you. But that fake pubic hair will trap all kinds of gross shit and the painted-on veins and nicely pinked cock head? That will wear off after awhile. Where is it going???? Think about that one. Silicone might not be clear and gem-like, but they can certainly add glitter to it. I’ve seen both Tantus and the almost-defunct Jollies LLC do it.

People will also complain that silicone toys are too expensive. I know, they can be. Some manufacturers exploit the whole “luxury sex toy” angle. But there is a valid reason why silicone sex toys cost 2-4 times the prices of jelly, rubber or TPR. And frankly if after reading this whole post you don’t understand why……then I give up! But if you are on a super-strict budget, just watch for sales or keep an eye on the closeout bin at Tantus.

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So have you learned a lot or are you more confused? For me this reinforced my thoughts that when you’re buying silicone sex toys (which you always should, in lieu of jelly, rubber, cyberskin or PVC/vinyl) you should be purchasing them from a reputable company who isn’t just going to trust what China is telling them. Is China bad? Sometimes. Not all the time. It’s more on the manufacturer to do their quality checks. And, by the way, Tantus isn’t made in China. They’re made in the US, in their own shop and Metis knows everything that goes on. They are never in the hands of an unknown mass production company. Thankfully Tantus is not the only sex toy manufacturer that is knee-deep is quality checks, but sadly they’re still in the minority.

Comments

• February 9, 2012, Curvaceous Dee writes: Utterly awesome article - extremely informative! I'll be bookmarking this and referring back to it a lot, methinks :) xx Dee
• February 9, 2012, Kira writes: This is so informative! Lots of good things cleared up here. I've been scared to flame test in the past, but I think if I have a question in my mind I will going forward. Thanks for taking the time to put this together. ~ Just do it at the base, but keep in mind that it WILL catch a flame for a second. Both of my Tantus test/showcase dildos did, but the TPE SinFive one never did, it just melted. The Tantus ones turned to a light grey ashy soot in the spot I burned, which just brushed off. I can't even tell now where it was that I did that on my Tantus Silk.
• February 10, 2012, WildOrchid writes: Great article! Thanks for clearing up the smell retention question. I've been wondering about it when some people on menstrual cup comm complained about that. Would you do a video of a flame test? I think it might say more than a 1000 words ;) ~ I'm sure the menstrual cup is medical-grade silicone but perhaps because it's so supple and bendy it's more susceptible to smells? I know that those soft, pliable food-grade Go Toobs retained the odor of the bathroom products kept in them. (I didn't bother to try and remove the odor I just tossed the Toobs). Either way, I think that if the cup is retaining odor then they're not washing it often enough. The video of the flame test would be more telling if I actually had an item that claimed to be silicone but wasn't! I don't think I buy anything that cheap, though. But I will look into this!
• February 10, 2012, Blacksilk writes: This is just one of the finest things I've read in a long time. Thank you so much to you and also Metis and Tantus. Wonderful stuff. So informative and you answered several questions I had. I'd heard conflicting things about storing silicone with silicone and I'd recently been curious what makes silicone matte or smooth and tried to research it but got nowhere with it! I wondered actually if I could ask a sneaky question you might know the answer to. I've been told by one or two people to be careful storing even silicone toys in fabric bags because they can pick up the colour of the material. Does this have any truth to it? I can't imagine it being true but I don't want to ruin my lovely Tantus toys (or Jollet for that matter) because of it! ~ I actually asked Metis as part of the "is there a test" question if true silicone would pick up dyes, and she said that no it doesn't. I've stored mine in fabric bags. Now, I will admit that I've heard that some old ForYourNymphomation cases have stained sex toys and I don't think those ladies had rubber dildos so I'll have to look into it a little more.
• February 10, 2012, Metis writes: The pigment within a silicone toy is totally encased by the silicone, so the pigment will never fade and it is impossible for it to pick up dyes. I'm not sure what toys were stained from the cases, but they were probably TPR.
• February 10, 2012, Metis writes: Apparently I'm wrong- it was an O2 product and the dye snuck into the soft silicone. I apologize- and it just goes to show I'm not the ultimate in "know it alls".
• February 10, 2012, Curvaceous Dee writes: @WildOrchid about menstrual cup smell retention. I know my DivaCup instructions state to boil it for considerably longer than my other silicone products (20 minutes rather than 5 or 10). I have followed this recommendation for the last two years, and I haven't had any problems with my cup retaining odour - it still smells quite neutral. I also keep it in a fabric bag, and it's not picked up any dye. Just my 2c. xx Dee
• February 13, 2012, Sandra writes: I learned alot and I think I'm going to be getting rid of quite a few items from our site. Tantus rules!
• February 15, 2012, Andy writes: This is such a brilliant post. I've found myself reading it over and over so I know exactly what to advise people, should they ever ask me about silicone. Thanks so much for taking the time to write it (And to Metis for taking the time to be interviewed). It's probably the most useful post I've read for a year or so. It's interesting to hear about clear silicone. Chavez Dezignz, the company who now make Jollies silicone toys, claim that they are the only manufacturer to offer "platinum based crystal clear silicone". See their status here: https://twitter.com/#!/CHAVEZDEZIGNZ/status/169282163202736128 I'm going to ask them about it as I'm now a little skeptical... ~ Well, what Metis and I were really talking about is something more "crystal clear" like this, but really we were discussing stretchy cock rings like this one. They call is 100% silicone. Boldly! I then happened to click on a "related products" link there and found the Screaming O cock ring, which this company claims is made of TPR "food grade silicone". No. TPR is fucking TPR, TPR is not "food grade silicone". TPR is porous. Anyways, my point. The Jollies dildos aren't what I would call crystal clear, they're murky clear but they're also really solid. They're not rock hard but I've had their toys and it's really firm silicone. The thing that Metis and I were mainly referring to is what I linked to above, the super-stretchy "silicone" cock ring lie. Since Jollies makes all their dildos by hand themselves I'm apt to trust them in their composition but I also might ask them.

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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Thankfully we’ve had a pretty mild winter; I think last year there was enough snow for two seasons!

But it has snowed once or twice, and yeah it was pretty chilly.

Comments

• February 7, 2012, Catharine writes: I love your pic. Wish I had some snow to show my boobs to, it's melted!
• February 8, 2012, Clive writes: Hmmm Very hazardous conditions for that driver - but not from the snow and ice :)
• February 8, 2012, Huff writes: Great shot. I can hear the conversation now Nip: Can we go out and play? Boo: I don’t think so. It’s too cold. Nip: But I like the cold. I look extra perky when there’s a chill in the air. Boo: But I don’t. I just get blotchy. We’re not going out and that’s final. Nip: That’s just typical. Boo: What do you mean by...? Nip: We never go out any more; we never have any fun. Boo: I told you it’s too... Nip: I heard you... the first time! Well, so what if it’s cold. Did you hear me complain last summer when you wanted to go out all the time at the beach? Do you remember how I got that terrible sunburn because you forget to put sunscreen on me? Boo: Look how many times... Nip: Don’t you sigh and roll your eyes at me! Boo: ...do I have to apologise for that? Nip: I was in agony for days. Boo: Just... get over it. Nip: Days! Boo: ...’Sigh’... Nip: Fuck... You..! Boo: Well if you’re going to be that way about it. Nip: Damn right I’m going to be ‘that way about it’. Do you know what else I’m going to ‘be’? Boo: OK, I’ll bite. What else are you going to ‘be’? Nip: This time next week... I’m going to be pierced... So there! Boo: What! ...No, you can’t! Nip: Huh, yeah! Well I am. So how do you like them nipples then? Boo: ... Nip: ... Boo: You’re still not going outside.
• February 8, 2012, Curvaceous Dee writes: Looks like your nipples are hard enough to etch glass, there! xx Dee
• February 8, 2012, Molly writes: I wonder if the person in the car could see you.... Mollyxxx
• February 8, 2012, Slut writes: How thrilling! I'm always so nervous to play with my Master knowing our neighbors could see. Looks like fun! xoxo, Slut
• February 8, 2012, Penny writes: I would say stay warm...but this pic proves just how fun cold can be :)
• February 8, 2012, KaziGrrl writes: Excellent shot! the nips are looking pretty wistful there ;) ~Kazi xxx
• February 9, 2012, MrM writes: yummy :)
• February 9, 2012, Jack and Jill writes: We love being naked in front of a window, or better still, on our balcony. No snow around here though...
• February 9, 2012, Jade writes: Those nipples look like they are straining to go out and play! :-D
• February 9, 2012, Inferno writes: Our snow finally went away. The cold makes me nipply too, but I don't think it is appreciated on me as it is on someone like you. :)
• February 11, 2012, Jon writes: Don't get those too close to the windows, they look like they could cut through the glass
• February 14, 2012, Stranded writes: Considering how mild the winter has been here...I'm jealous. Stranded

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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I swear it’s almost like creating that douche-proof contact form was like a request to the blogging angels for comedic gold.

If by comedic I mean bashing-my-head-off-the-wall I’m-surrounded-by-idiots haha funny.

Bloggers, a heads-up here, please…don’t be taken in by this guy. Greer is a part of a group of “entrepreneurs” who have this awesome idea of a “sexual lifestyle brand for women that takes the guess work out of choosing sex toys and related products while providing a narrative fantasy and user content- all in a monthly format”. I’ve read that line over a bunch of times and I still don’t get what they truly mean. It gets better though.

“I came across all of your companies and site through my research and was wondering if you ever consult with new companies? We are a young group of entrepreneurs who do not have previous contacts in the sex toy or erotic writing industry and could really use professional guidance. We want to appeal to woman in a huge capacity and contribute to female sexual autonomy.”

I just had to be SURE before I continued on, so I asked “Ok let me make sure I understand things. You want to create something that will help women choose sex toys, yet you have no experience yourselves in this subject and are looking for free consulting?”

“We are not looking for free consulting. We are looking for people to network with who are experts in the industry and could point us in a constructive direction. Someone who has a lot of contacts within the industry. These people could be future contributors once our company has more funding and we are able to compensate them. It would become a mutually beneficial business relationship. We know how to build brands and have a great idea, we just need to start meeting individuals who know the industry better than we do.”

I mean, that’s the very definition of CONSULTING. He even said the word consulting in his first email. Oh and he tried to be sneaky and chose the “I’m a reader of your blog and I just want to say hello!” option on the regular contact form. tsk tsk, Greer, you didn’t really read much here, did ya? You know I love helping people. Genuine people who need help choosing a sex toy and have specific questions that couldn’t be answered on any retail site or book. That’s the beauty of blogger reviews. We’re real people with email addresses and we love to answer questions. But to try and take advantage of that good will and use it to make money while giving me the “well maybe someday when we’ve turned enough profit that all our bills are paid and we’re paid you could possibly become a paid contributor” schlemiel. The other day in my site tracker I noticed that I was getting a lot of hits to my Jelly Sex Toys are Dangerous post from a UK Mommy forum. Whenever I get hits from forums I go check out the conversation and sometimes I register so that I can clarify things, which is what I did. This poor gal is pregnant and as many pregnant women are, utterly hyperaware of keeping her fetus safe and healthy. When she read my post about the jelly toys she freaked and wasn’t sure how she could possibly broach such a shameful topic to her doctor and ask if she was poisoning the fetus. Sadly she’s so freaked out and hormonal (I get it, I do, I’m not mocking her or invalidating her) that she’s sworn off ALL sex toys despite what I said. But I did my best to confirm that they can be very bad or they can be ok, but you never know and how porous they are, etc etc etc. Told her to switch to silicone or use a condom. I’m more than happy to answer these questions. But try to take advantage of that for your own profit and I’m suddenly not so sweet. My reply to him basically said all of the above but a bit more concisely and bluntly. He agreed that oh yes, I’m very smart which is why they asked for my help and weren’t trying to insult me. Riiiight. Please repeat your 2-year college course on business, you didn’t absorb anything. I would be thrilled to consult on a project that doesn’t read as insulting or sexist and I know my worth.

Please, know your worth. Ok?

Recently another head-bashing moment occurred completely unrelated to my contact form because I contacted them. The very first company that sent me toys to review, VibeReview, has had quite the stale site. Their “new toys” section stills lists the Natural Contours Petite which has been out for YEARS. Combine all this with the fact that I had a reader try to purchase from them a few months back with nothing but troubles and I’m wondering if they’re even still in business. A lot of things are not in stock. Color me surprised when I get a response:

“Yes we are still in business – and yes, as you’ve correctly pointed out, we have been a bit slow in adding many of the newer items.  Most of the stuff that’s come out in the last couple of years is just a repackaging of stuff we already sell, but if there are some items you would like to see on the site, let me know and we can add them.”

It took me a minute to pick my jaw up off the floor. For SERIOUS? I mean, I still read that second sentence and am rendered speechless. I….I….

I tried to answer. I tried to list off all the things that are new, innovative and that tons of people are searching for on Google.

I said: “I would highly disagree that most items put out in the last year is a repackaging of stuff you already sell. While I don’t think much of their latest line, there’s a number of Lelo toys that would warrant a listing; many Tantus items; Fun Factory, Je Joue, We Vibe….I could go on and on…so much as happened in the last few years. Many of the items I recommend to others aren’t on your site. None of the Mystic Wands, nothing by Tenga, none of the new and improved Nexus items, no wooden dildos….it pretty much looks like nearly everything on the site is the same stuff that was there when I stopped reviewing for your company (which was largely because anything that was worth trying out that looked decent, VR didn’t carry) in 2009. Unfortunately, your answer is a huge let-down to me and I’m sure it would be to many of the innovative manufacturers that have put out things in the last 3 years. If you truly believe what you’ve said, then I don’t think I can support VibeReview to be honest.”

And you know what? They had no response. Which just drove my point home even further.

Comments

• February 7, 2012, Kira writes: Where to begin with this? 1 - Starting a business in an industry you have zero experience in? Usually a terrible idea. Why not advise people on something you actually know about instead? I don't understand. 2 - I saw that forum post. I feel bad for that girl. It also concerned me to see so many people say "they wouldn't make it if it was dangerous" because yeah, they would. There's so many harmful things in foods, cosmetics, and other daily products. You don't think a largely unregulated sex toy industry would have that issue? I wish there were better ways to inform people. I'm sad to hear she's sworn off sex toys. I remember being pregnant and hormonal so I get it. It's just a shame that jelly can ruin people that way. 3 - Nothing new in years?! That's just a stupid comment. Even if it was repackage crap, maybe your customers want the new and repackaged crap. You can't have a retail business and never update your supply. That's how you lose business to companies that actually will stock new product.
• February 7, 2012, Epiphora writes: God, that's the worst. Why does everyone think the sex toy industry is like a goldmine? And also that they don't have to know anything about it to succeed in it? Like, he's SO SURE that his company is going to be the shit, yet he has to email sex bloggers to even get CONTACTS in the industry? UGH PEOPLE.
• February 8, 2012, Joan Price writes: I loved this fabulous rant! Thank you for going through all this and writing about it so I (and other sex bloggers) wouldn't have to. As angry as you were when you wrote it, I find this post wonderfully entertaining now. You'll update if either of these clueless folks writes you again, I hope!

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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A number of the 100-some original members are long gone and in their place are newer bloggers who don’t know about the thing that was once the Sex Blogger Co-Op on Ning.com. For a refresher or those who don’t know what it’s all about, read these few posts: Blogger Education? talks a bit about the demise andProjects Abound introduces the Co-Op and talks about what it was.

When the Co-Op moved it was because Ning announced it would no longer host their long-time free networks. They were also closing down “adult” communities without warning and that spooked a few people, despite the fact that our group was private, invite-only and not pornographic. The move to a more text-based forum set-up hosted on the e[lust] site spelled disaster as nobody wanted to to go there anymore. It wasn’t easy or pretty. Without any participation from other members, I closed it down.

I still think there is a need for it, for a private place for just the bloggers to go where we can say “Hey, did you get an email from CompanyX? Is this shit for real?” or stuff like that. For those who were not a part of it, some things we discussed were:

• Tutorials on how to do certain things on your blog, like design elements, a clickable header, embedding video
• Discussions on affiliate programs
• Opinions on the latest company/group to hit us up for reviews/exposure
• Discussion on advertisers, like what they were proposing, who was telling them to go to hell, etc
• Blogging prompts

There were debates, arguments, but overall a lot of help being offered and confused questions answered. I’d like to think that it was just as helpful to newer bloggers as it was the veterans. While I don’t expect every sex-type blogger to join I would hope that both veteran and new bloggers would join in, and be active. How active? Whatever you manage….to a point. Since there would be a member cap (150 people) I would have to occasionally weed out those who hadn’t participated in any way for X number of months. It’s not free, of course. The cheap plan (similar to the ToySwap Network, if you’re a member there) allows for forums (including the ability to subscribe to threads or boards to get email updates on new posts) and 150 members. Things that we once had that we would no longer have: The ability for anybody but me to invite people in to the network; chat room; ability to customize the layout. We would lose the few topics that were started or continued once the network moved off of Ning but I don’t think that it’s really a big deal. All the old discussions remain as do your memberships if you were once part of it.

For those who were once a part of it: Would you re-join? It would still be private and invite-only as I feel that it’s the only way we can truly speak our minds on some things. For those who are newer, would you join?

And no, it’s not free. As I said there would be a small price ($3 for me) but the next plan up is a whopping $25 a month and although it will give us many of the features we enjoyed with the free Ning, like chat rooms and customization and no member cap I don’t think that I could get enough people to chip in to come up with a steady $25 a month. I would not require that every blogger contribute something monetarily in order to join but I would greatly appreciate it. I would only ask for a couple dollars per person able to contribute, as it will only cost me $36 a year. And since it’s a month-to-month payment plan if for some reason the whole thing takes off like it never did before and there is a need and willingness to warrant the $25 a month plan, we can upgrade. I don’t see that happening but it’s a door I’m not closing.

If I don’t get much feedback here or much positive feedback then I will allow Ning to delete the network and the contents. I have until February 10th to decide.

Comments

• February 1, 2012, ScarlettSeraph writes: I can definitely say that I am interested. Sometimes it bothers me to see certain things discussed on Twitter that I feel may be better discussed in private. This sounds like it would be the perfect place for people to do that, especially if, like me, you prefer to keep it in the community. I do think it would be nice to have an easy way to have that sort of communication in private, and a support system for each other. Thank you for your work to help the rest of us as a community, you are appreciated!
• February 1, 2012, Kara_Sutra writes: Sounds like a pretty good idea, I think it's one that would offer quite a bit of info and possibly give reviewers the opportunity to speak 'behind closed doors' without the prying eyes of others who seek to gain but don't seek to help. Regarding the funding, if you had 25 co-admins (or something) offering up $1 a month that would help you reach your goal. Or you could have rotating payees (one month its a group of 25, next month another group of 25 etc to lessen the burden). Just a thought.
• February 1, 2012, B writes: As you can tell if you visit my site I am just getting started and am new to this community. I think it sounds like a great idea to have a place where bloggers can commune, feed as well as be fed. If this gets started or you need help with code or anything let me know. I am a web developer.
• February 1, 2012, Kira writes: I want this so much! Forum spam is one of my great annoyances in life. I'd love a place not only to talk to other bloggers, but to do so in a spam free environment. I like the idea of having rotating admins that chip in if you want to upgrade to the higher monthly plan. I don't know if you need to start out with that, but it could work out well for an upgrade.
• February 1, 2012, Epiphora writes: Bring it back. We can keep it under 150 members and I'd be willing to donate.
• February 1, 2012, Pixel writes: As a 'rookie' blogger, I would definitely be interested in something like this! I still have so many questions about blogging and would like to be less lost.
• February 1, 2012, nitebyrd writes: Yes, I would be interested. I was part very briefly. I could probably scrounge up some money each month from eBay and Etsy sales.
• February 1, 2012, Karen Blue writes: I would like to participate, I don't mind if I have to pay. It sounds like a great idea to have a place away from prying eyes to talk to other reviewers. Please keep me in the loop!
• February 2, 2012, BashfulBabe writes: Definitely sounds good, I'm still finding my feet and while spying on you lot is invaluable, paying something lifelong like $1pm or an as-and-when is doable and well worth having resources and support in one secure location.
• February 2, 2012, Blacksilk writes: This sounds like a brilliant idea and I would *love* to be involved. It would be so helpful to have somewhere to talk to more experienced bloggers and get and idea of consensus on various issues and get advice and all sorts! Although I've been around for four years now, I still don't think of myself as particularly experienced, but I'd try to give advice too if I could. The whole thing just sounds great and the payment ideas being suggested sound fine too. I'm actually quite excited by the idea!
• February 2, 2012, buzzvibe writes: I'd definitely join. I need all the help I can get.
• February 2, 2012, Bzzingbee writes: I love this idea. It would be great to get help and give it when I can. I' also totally willing to contribute. I think it is so important for us bloggers to stick together and look out for each other because no one else will otherwise.
• February 3, 2012, Garnet Joyce writes: I loved the group, but my guess is that I probably shouldn't be a part of it anymore. I rarely blog and now I'm on the other side. Bloggers might not feel like they can objectively talk about the review program I run.

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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Trying my hand at these animated gifs has given me a little motivation to actually participate in Wanton Wednesday more often. It feels less like “Here is shot # 147 of my tits” and more like something new and creative. Now that I’ve learned how to do it from Photoshop rather than a random site I can get even more creative, but having a different speed on each frame. Any suggestions for future ones?

See who else is playing!

Comments

• January 31, 2012, Molly writes: If I remember rightly you have long dark hair... maybe your fingers playing with it, twiddling it? Love this one. You have a cleavage to die for. Mollyxxx
• January 31, 2012, Slut writes: This is incredible! What a clever gif, and your gorgeous breast has left me speechless! xoxo, Slut
• January 31, 2012, Aurore writes: While I will never tired of your cleavage something with your lips would be delightful. (In case there's any confusion, I mean the ones on your face) :) ~ Ha, thank you for clearing that up! Hm I might combine yours and Molly's. Hair twirling and lips.
• January 31, 2012, Karen Blue writes: Wow a pop shot like that of you opening both sides would be awesome! ~ I kinda thought that doing that with the bra was bad enough, heh, that maybe both at once would just be overkill? ;)
• January 31, 2012, Stranded writes: Dammit...now I'm hungry! Stranded ~I totally don't get this.
• February 1, 2012, KaziGrrl writes: Excellent gif! Hmmn... you could try panning down? ;) ~Kazi xxx
• February 1, 2012, Hyacinth writes: Tit shots never get old.
• February 1, 2012, Clive writes: Ooooo clever and inviting - I am with Karen a full 'pop shot' is the obvious follow up :)
• February 1, 2012, BimodalTendancies writes: I agree with my fellow bloggers. That's a great animation. :)
• February 1, 2012, JJJ writes: yuuuuuuum.... these GIF definately make your pictures looks more fun & creative. Even just refreshing your archives pictures with GIF would be great!! ~ Well since the shots have to be taken a certain way, doing it with archive pics would be a bit impossible.
• February 1, 2012, Phoenix Wolf-Rayet writes: In a word - beautiful!
• February 1, 2012, nitebyrd writes: Haven't a clue about Photoshop but I think you're doing a damn fine job!
• February 1, 2012, Blacksilk writes: Everything about this shot is gorgeous! I love it! But I agree with some others here that you can never have enough boob shots!
• February 1, 2012, Inferno writes: Really liking the animated gif thing. Makes it extra fun and interesting. I like Molly's idea about the hair too. That could maybe be hard to do? Be cool though. Blowing a kiss would be fun too.
• February 2, 2012, Jack and Jill writes: Impressive! Neither of us would have a clue how to make an animated .gif. The pictures themselves are beautiful.
• February 2, 2012, Erika Moran writes: That is really a cool technique, not to mention a lovely subject.
• February 2, 2012, Hubman writes: I love the animated gifs!!
• February 3, 2012, MrM writes: These animated gifs are pretty awesome. Plus, who's gonna say no to a nice pair like that?! I think I speak for all of us when I say you can keep doing this, and we won't mind.

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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Continuing the interviews after Elizabeth Red in Part 2 and answering these questions myself in Part 1  

Epiphora is a sex toy reviewer first and foremost. She does what she loves, what she does best, and she has a big following. She’s been controversial at times and never shuts her mouth for anybody or anything – and usually she uses her powers for good. But oh when she hates something, and she really fucking hates it, we love to read it! Epiphora is one of the few fellow toy reviewers who joins me in the “Proud to Post Negative Reviews” camp of those who will be as harsh as we feel is necessary (and boy howdy sometimes it’s really fuckin necessary). Her virtual toy box rivals most and especially trumps mine. Epiphora is the second in a short series of long-time reviewers that I’ve asked to answer 4 easy (or are they?) questions about sex toys and reviewing.

1. How many toys, roughly, have you reviewed or acquired in other ways since you started reviewing?

2. How many of them actually saw a lot of use past the review session?

3. What toys have been your top favorites over all the time you’ve been reviewing?

4. What has been the most important thing or two you’ve learned since becoming a reviewer that you didn’t know as a consumer?

Comments

• January 31, 2012, Kira writes: I thought I was the only one with a spreadsheet! I feel slightly less nerdy now. Or at least in good company if I'm still a nerd. ~ Nerd = good
• January 31, 2012, Navigator writes: I'm gonna need to make a spreadsheet, pretty soon. That's a pretty good idea. And yeah, wtf with the Little Chroma getting so much love? Either way, great answers!
• February 1, 2012, Epiphora writes: See, that's why the spreadsheet helps! I make a note whenever I get rid of a toy, so I can remember that I don't have it anymore. Ha! Thanks for interviewing me, Lilly. It was fun.
• February 6, 2012, Raven Quince writes: I have a spreadsheet too! Super detailed, right down to where the item was manufactured and where the company is based. I'm a geek. So glad to be in such good company! (And Epiphora is my heroine.)

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Copyright 2008-2011 Dangerous Lilly aka This Could Be Dangerous - If you see this content anywhere else, it's been scraped illegally and without my consent. Copyright violators will be hunted down and beaten with a spiked metal ball. But since they're stupid and will include even this portion, I might as well invite you to my real sex blog where you can read about sex toys and get to know me.

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