We were in the middle of our hour-long ride. My choices were to either get back on and not disrupt the excursion or throw a wrench in everything by having someone go back to the stables, get a vehicle, come to me, etc. A whole production. I was mortified so I chose the option that embarrassed me less. I was absolutely terrified but I got back on. The ride wasn’t fun; I was in pain and scared any time the horse went faster than a stroll.

I ended up missing the first day of school to recover from the concussion and back pain. A few weeks later one of the friends and I went back to the stables. I did my best but I was still too terrified. I think I lasted 10 minutes and called it quits. I haven’t gotten back on since.

So what the actual fuck does that story have to do with my sex blog?

I’m trying to get back on the horse. Everything I write feels so forced and shitty. I worked on 4 other drafts before giving in to this bullshit navel-gazing worthless post. I think I have to publish this if I have any hope of getting over the fear of publishing anything important.

I’m worried because only about 5% of me wants to keep blogging. That’s where I am right now. 5% of the motivation for this post is because I actually want to be here. The rest is a jumble of obligation, guilt and boredom. I know people have been concerned about me and the fate of this site.

I’ve been trying to work on my physical and mental health. It’s been a lot more difficult and frustrating than I anticipated and believe me I expected the worst. I’m really not ready to share any more than I’ve already shared on social media as it was happening; writing about that feels too damn scary and worthless. I’m realizing that if I keep coming here to write for other people – and f I worry too much about my peers’ reactions – I won’t keep it up.

I have to stop comparing myself with others. Everybody does this in a different way and though a number of my blogging friends are business-savvy word machines with checklists and brand images and curated social media and endless ideas, that’s not me. I’ve done something right because I’ve still had plenty of site traffic despite zero social media promotions and zero writing. I have to accept that that is great, full stop, no comparisons. And, if not great, then good enough for me.

This is roughly 500 words of not-a-promise but a toe-in-the-water. I’ll be making changes; I probably won’t be hyping my shit on social media much. Really, in our industry, it doesn’t get me very far. As of this week I’m on extreme hiatus from a few social media platforms that are less healthy for me. I’m going to start selectively turning off commenting, beginning with this post.

To be honest, I don’t feel good about this post but I feel much worse about the 4 other drafts I tried to work on. Baby steps?

The post That’s Me Trying appeared first on Dangerous Lilly.

It’s still too soon for me to say that this hiatus is temporary. But I’m writing a little something today to flex those muscles and also say thank you to the people who keep finding my site; who are buying through my affiliate links; who write in to say thank you and check in on me. Sometimes in the depths of our despair we miss the obvious things and it took my husband’s reminder for me to see that someone will still want to hear from me on Black Friday, even though most other bloggers will tell you about far more sales than I will, because I’m so picky on who I work with. He feels sure that someone will want to hear from me, and know how I’m doing. I don’t fully believe him, but here I am.

Thanks for not giving up on me. Thanks for your patience. I need to see some new doctors and get into a decent treatment plan, but I have to wait until February thanks to being stuck for a year with a truly shitty health insurance plan. I’m scared and not feeling especially hopeful, to be honest. But maybe I’ll find a rare gem of a doctor.

Now, onto the sex toys I get asked the most about. I know that a lot of you ask me about the Womanizer and Satisyfer new models. I’ve tried the new Womanizer Classic and Pro; I’ve tried the Satisfyer Travel. I can tell you I still think the Womanizer Pro40 is the best of the line but that doesn’t matter now since it’s long gone. I’m not in love with the new nozzle shapes on the latest Womanizers, and the motor feels very different – it’s a distinct “tapping” of air that is sometimes too intense, sometimes just right. I have found myself reaching for the Satisfyer models more than the newer Womanizers, and I really dislike the new Womanizer Premium and it’s bloated “features” which only work some of the time. I have no experience with newest Womanizer Liberty.

Onto the sales!

SheVibe

In addition to their standard tiered-savings sales, my readers get a special gift – a scratch-off card good against a future order. Just make sure you use my codes to get the scratch-off card: LILLY10, LILLY15, and LILLY20.

• Customers that use the discount codes provided here to place an order at SheVibe.com will receive a SheVibe Holiday Scratch-Off Card.
• Scratch the panel on your card to reveal your prize: Up to $50 off your next SheVibe purchase – every card is a winner!
• The scratched off panel will reveal a Gift Certificate code followed by the amount of the prize.
• Your unique SheVibe Holiday Scratch-Off Card will be provided in your shipped package, it cannot be replaced if lost, so keep it in a safe place!
• In certain situations, the SheVibe Scratch-Off card may ship separately from your order.
• This offer cannot be retroactively applied once you have checked out.
• The prize code will not be valid for the purchase of Gift Certificates.
• The SheVibe Holiday Scratch-Off Card has no cash value.
• This offer is good while SheVibe Holiday Scratch-Off Card supplies last.
• Sale excludes Eroscillator and certain restrictions apply.
• Free Shipping offers are good in the U.S. only.
• Prize code is valid through March 31st, 2019. Redeem as a Gift Certificate at checkout.

Smitten Kitten

Smitten Kitten is a smaller, independant retailer who always has some cool, local stuff. Their Black Friday sale is limited to Friday, and I recommend you shop early! Their stock is smaller, so quantities will be limited.

Hot Octopuss

Grab a Pulse for your favorite peen at 20% off! Check out their sale here.

When I find anything else that strikes my fancy, I’ll update!

The post Updates and Sales appeared first on Dangerous Lilly.

There is no one reason, or one bigger than the rest, but it’s a compilation of many reasons. A couple of them I knew a few years ago but didn’t act on, as they were told to me in confidence and when I outweighed the good of Tantus vs what I knew, the good of Tantus in the industry won out. And so, because they were not my stories to share, and because I could not afford to lose affiliate earnings at the time, I did nothing. I did not expect to be further disappointed years later, to be honest.

I couldn’t ignore the fact that Metis was a big supporter and educator against toxic, porous sex toys and that she gave that support and education to me. I wouldn’t be where I am without that. I’ve watched Metis stand by the bloggers publicly when they’ve called out the bad behavior of other companies so to see Metis and the Tantus social media accounts behaving this way now is extra disappointing to me. I sat in a session at Woodhull two years ago listening to Metis, among others, lecture about the best practice ways for companies to respond on social media when they’ve fucked up so the silence from all accounts, the absolute head-in-the-sand ignoring, is even more of a kick to the gut.

But for the last year or so, things keep happening with the social media, with the company, and more information is relayed to me privately and finally, I have hit the last straw. I can’t and won’t share the things relayed to me in confidence from others in the industry, but the things I’ve learned in the last year have shaken my beliefs in the good of Tantus. I’m incredibly disappointed in the actions of the owners. I still believe that Tantus makes good products, but I can’t support them anymore directly for ethical reasons. The stories shared with me in confidence are not mine to tell and telling them could have serious repercussions on those who told them – if they choose to tell those stories themselves, they have my full support.

To read more about the actions of Metis in correlation with a Woodhull issue last year, please see this thread from ChronicSexChat on Twitter, it’s an important read and a lot of risks were taken by Kirsten. They’ve done a lot of the hard work and it’s been ignored for too long. That thread was catalyst part one for this conclusion I’ve reached, and the actions on social media this weekend were the nail in the coffin of secrets I can’t brush away. Please see this thread from Sex Bloggess which details what happened this week. I stand by everything she’s said in it. Her words and feelings mirror my own. And while I can’t share the other stories, I can tell you that the reviews on GlassDoor line up with things I’ve been told, and seem to be the tip of the iceberg.

I have blacklisted other companies for less but the good doesn’t outweigh the bad anymore with Tantus.

I’ve been more and more absent from blogging over the last year and social media mostly over the last few weeks as I’ve had to make a difficult decision to focus my health first. My physical, and mental, health are at their worst and have been for a year, but I’ve been in certain levels of denial. My mental health has only been worse one time in my life – when my father died. My physical health has suddenly gone from not-very-good to bad enough that I’ve had to make major changes recently.

To preserve my health, I can’t fight more than this – this post, this email I’ve sent to Tantus, and this decision to lose that part of my income¹. I hope that my actions highlight that they need to make major changes, NOW, and I hope that others respect the boundaries I’m setting for myself here. I’ve closed comments in part because there’s nothing else I can say on this matter, and because I don’t have the spoons for attacks, arguments, or even discussions or words of support. Again, boundaries. Thank you for understanding.

The post And when it all goes to hell… appeared first on Dangerous Lilly.

Sex toy myths are especially hard to dispell, even years later, because the misinformation still spreads. Every day, it seems, I have to gently (or, not so gently) correct a myth mid-spread. This list of links will mean very little to you, though, without seeing the session that inspired it.  You can see the video that was recorded live during the session below, with transcription/captioning done by Erika Lynae who also transcribed last year’s session that inspired this one. I suggest you take the time to read the transcript of the 2017 session to get a feel for why we felt so strongly about our own session, but it is not necessary. The video was filmed by Suz – thank you Suz!!! A bunch of great people live-tweeted during the session  so please check out the hashtag for it on Twitter, #sfsmyths. I encourage you to turn the captioning on because the sound isn’t all that great. I had no idea before the session how we’d be recording for live-streaming so I didn’t bring an extra microphone to better capture our voices.

Please note the best part of the captioning:

KENTON: [GLORIOUS DILDO REMOVAL POP]

AUDIENCE: [GASPS]
[APPLAUSE]

LILLY: The sex toy version of pulling a rabbit out of a hat!

Sex Toy Myths – The Material Basics

We touched on talking about the differences and similarities on material; basically TPR/TPE is a blanket term consisting of many recipes that vary from brand to brand, and these recipes nearly never have harsh plasticizers – but for some reason PVC jelly rubber does. PVC jelly rubber is a TPR, but we know a good bit of the recipe and we know the main ingredient, so we call it by it’s name. It’s like saying “Italian food” and then “Eggplant Parmesan” – everybody’s Eggplant Parm will vary a little, but we know it has Eggplant and cheese, and that it’s “Italian food”. In this strange analogy PVC is the Eggplant Parm and TPR is Italian Food. Here are a few Wikipedia links:

• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silicone_rubber
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vulcanization#Vulcanization_of_silicones
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elastomer
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thermoplastic_elastomer
• https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyvinyl_chloride

You can see from all of the lab tests that have been done that anything classified generically as TPR/TPE has never had phthalates.

Silicone is cured by various methods – addition-curing adds platinum or tin and this can be combined with room-temperature condensation cure (RTV). This means that “platinum” is not a grade, it’s the means of curing the silicone into a rubber-like elastomer. The only “grades” that can exist are the various medical grades and food grades. Companies can indeed use FDA-approved grades of silicone and pigments but this does not make the finished product FDA-approved.

Toxic Toys

We talked about how and why we continue to use the word “toxic” when we are talking about PVC and TPR toys, despite the fact that newer lab tests show a drastic decline in irritating, unsafe phthalates. I noted that while Doc Johnson’s PVC toys may not contain phthalates they do contain an additive they’ve dubbed “sil-a-gel” whose chemical composition is unknown but is an extreme irritant for many people.

I did touch briefly on the issues with porosity that include an increased risk for vaginal yeast infections, and you can read more about that here.

We discussed the long-standing unproven myth that covering problematic sex toys with condoms suddenly makes them body-safe; in short, no science has told us this protects us against the irritants or micro-organisms that may be present and that’s in part due to the fact that most porous toys will leach oil and oil destroys latex (the most commonly used condom type). While my recommendation to use polyurethane condoms still comes with a heavy caveat and uncertainty, I feel it’s got a slightly better chance at doing what we think it might do. However, maybe not. Until there are studies on this I don’t feel comfortable recommending it as a safety measure.

I also talked about the various definitions of body-safe, and I’ve written about it a little more extensively here.  For many more articles related to sex toy materials, visit the Toxic Toy landing page.

Silicone Lube and Silicone Sex Toys

At one point Kenton and I talked about how lubes affect materials; I reiterated the fact that oil doesn’t harm silicone as I’ve proven as much as is possible in an at-home experiment. I talked about how I’ve changed my stance on silicone sex toys paired with silicone lubes – definitely Not For Your Butt.

Kenton submerged some cured platinum silicone pieces in silicone lube and found that while that particular pairing didn’t “damage” the silicone toy, it certainly changed it. The toy absorbed lube and grew 20% in size and became 20% softer. This doesn’t change the porosity or how the pores react to water (they’re hydrophobic, which means no water which means no food for micro-organisms in the pores). It may create tears in the material because it’s now a little weaker than before, but you’ll see any tears quickly – they won’t stay small. Because the lube is absorbed, there won’t be lube left for your butt which is an absolute necessity for anal play. It’ll make it difficult and painful to remove the toy.

You could still use silicone lube for shorter external and vaginal use. I’ve personally never experienced lube-absorption with the Sliquid Silk hybrid lube but your mileage may vary. Check out a few of Kenton’s tweets in addition to his info in the session for more about silicone lube and silicone sex toys.

The Flame Test

We did talk a good bit about the flame test; why it’s used, how to read it, why the results were unexpected a few years ago. In short, silicone can burn and if it does catch a smoldering flame it’ll give you gray ash which is silica dust. It won’t get shiny or melt, it won’t burn like an oil lamp – all of that describes the reaction PVC and TPR will have to a flame. You’ll also usually get results sufficient enough to make a material determination in 5 seconds or less.

The flame test isn’t perfect and the inaccuracies from the early days continue to plague us with incorrect result readings but I feel confident enough with it to know what my materials really are when I do the test. I have performed the flame test enough times on known materials and received the expected results every time thus far. The flame test is really the only affordable, at-home “test” consumers can do if they doubt that a material is silicone as advertised.

We Don’t Need No Regulations

I talked about how sex toy companies can make any material claims they want, because no governing body regulates this. People are disturbed when they hear this and ask why the FDA doesn’t get involved and why I don’t want the FDA involved. The FDA wants money – a small fortune per SKU – and animal testing. The cost factors would prevent most sex toy companies from ever creating anything and would result in drastically fewer choices with vibrators always years behind on tech because FDA approvals can sometimes take years. I pointed out that the FDA has approved KY (gross) and Nonoxynol-9, a spermicide that was shown to increase STI transmission. The FDA is only concerned that the ingredients are “Generall Regarded As Safe” (GRAS list), not if they’re a known irritant. I’ve also noted in the Lube Guide that FDA-approved lubes don’t have to publish their ingredients list – so this would mean that probably the materials in the sex toy would remain a mystery, as well, and if so what is the damn point? Most companies utilize specific import/export codes to avoid being classed as a medical device and rely on the “Novelty Use Only” tags to help with this because if it is classed as a medical device, then FDA approval is required. The Novelty tag doesn’t necessarily mean that the manufacturer is setting out to deceive and harm you.

Sex Toy Myths About Silicone vs TPR

In the 2017 panel there were numerous arguments given for why they feel educators and reviewers are wrong for insisting on silicone for soft toys; the person heading up the panel was the publicist for Screaming O, a company that makes silicone and TPR sex toys. One point brought up was that nothing beats the realistic feel and the softness and the stretchiness of TPR or PVC. Nearly all mainstream penetrables/strokers are made of TPR or PVC, but Kenton pointed out a few of his products that showcase just how soft, pliable and stretchy silicone can be. The shore durometer he uses for his flogger can be stretched to 800 times it’s unstretched length. He even made a silicone penetrable stroker out of this same type of silicone. The better quality sleeves from brands like Fleshlight and Tenga are not what I would call affordable, so a large company buying silicone in bulk could in theory make comparably priced silicone masturbators. You can’t really see me pulling on the flogger in the video above but this is the de-molding video Kenton mentioned in the session for those who like hearing the satisfying sounds of silicone popping out of its mold. The stretchiness of it is fairly evident there.

They also argued price – that most of the silicone products we insist are better are not affordable to many people. Body-safe (non-porous) sex toys are becoming increasingly more affordable. I mentioned that SheVibe stocks nearly 500 body-safe sex toys, and they certainly don’t stock every body-safe sex toy on the market. I also only counted up the major categories such as clitoral, g-spot, classic, and mini vibrators; silicone and glass dildos; regular and vibrating butt plugs, prostate massagers, and anal beads. I’d counted up the number of individual models, not colors offered.

While I’ve got a comparatively small list of sex toys under $35 you can see from the count above that there are hundreds.

Other Bits and Bobs

We talked about cleaning methods a little; most of those are detailed on the Care and Cleaning guide page. You do not *need* high-priced UV sanitizing boxes to keep your silicone products safe. There are links to all the various posts about the Jar of Horrors (the TPR and PVC jar) on the Toxic Toys page, and this is the link to the post about the silicone jar.

I think I’ve covered everything here? If not, let me know! Have questions that didn’t get asked? Ask em here, we’ll do our best.

The post Platinum Grade Sex Toy Myths appeared first on Dangerous Lilly.

At some point in the first week of the contest people on Twitter started a ball rolling by talking about “Teenies”. I knew I wanted to report back after the contest with stats and such on the answers people gave to questions I asked but then it occured to me that I could use those to have a giveway-within-a-giveaway. I have 10 sets of mini teenies to give out and I’m giving them out based on singular answers that delighted me the most or to those who did really well overall answering the questions.

Count the Cats!

Let’s start with what ended up being the most difficult: Count the cat posts on Instagram. I ended up having to specify *actual cats* – not cats on products or me in cat-ear Snapchat filters. I did specify *posts* – and a single post can contain a picture, a video, a collage, or numerous pictures. So if the post had 10 cat pictures, like my tribute to our late cat in May, then it counted as 1 Post. There were also videos that weren’t as obvious by the thumbnail that they contained a cat, but that’s what made it a little less than easy. Between those things many more of you were wrong than right. The correct answer was 26 posts. If you’re super curious about the correct posts, click here to view a screenshot of my entire IG feed with the 26 posts highlighted.

Top 5 Disliked Companies

Over the years, I’ve been salty about a lot of companies both here and on social media. What do you think are my personal Top 5 Most Disliked Companies?

The top 5 that were picked most are Lelo, Pipedream, Jimmyjane, Shiri Zinn, and NS Novelties. I wondered why those, in particular NS Novelties because I’ve never written a specific post about them. Turns out it’s because they’re the first 5 companies listed on the Blacklist. I don’t have them listed in order of hatred, though!

It’s actually hard for me to quantify the Top 5. Sure, Lelo, Pipedream and JimmyJane are the Top 3. But those other two? As some of you pointed out, cases could be made for many to be tied.  Do I go with the smaller companies who’ve consistently been bad – bad products, shit ethics – like Shiri Zinn? Or companies who are widely known with a number of smaller infractions, creating a slow burn level of bullshit and lies but who aren’t 100% bad? I personally can’t choose between Shiri Zinn; Bad Dragon for their hideous ethics, mistreatment of others, and design theft; Screaming O, and Kiiroo. Or Fifi for those months of disgusting social media posts and their poor handling of it (and half-ass product).

The lube question was pretty easy and self-explanatory.

The Saltiest Review

Here’s another one that doesn’t have a clear winner for me: Which of my sex toy reviews is the saltiest? Let’s face it: when I’m mad about a product, I’m pretty fuckin salty. The landslide winner according to you is the Lelo Sona Cruise – is that because it’s the most recent, or because of the Effinbirds images? Many of you cited Effinbirds! Tracy’s Dog Flirt Rabbit was in 2nd place, but I personally consider that more of an investigative piece than a review since I didn’t actually use the product; I was just proving a point about their lies. A large number of you listed the post about my breakup with Lelo, or the post about the Lelo Hex – those are salty, for sure, but they’re not product reviews. Same with Can’t Buy My Love or my missives against Pipedream, Doc Johnson for their Sil-a-gel, or the post about Amazon.

Third place, nearly tied for second, is the Shiri Zinn Cupcake vibrator, fourth place is quickly followed by the “Supremely Offensive” Lovehoney Rockbox Finger. Fifth place is pretty much a dead-even tie between the Jimmyjane Form 3 and Form 4, the Dame Fin, the O Wand, the Hot Octopuss Queen Bee and the Fiera Arouser. There were overall 28 reviews that got votes, but one person stated that, after looking around, they felt my reviews were all so “nice” and not salty! I’m not sure they’re reading the same reviews as many of you were!

Some choices lines from various salty reviews:

• Vibrators are my CEO, President and Head Bitch of the Orgasms Department. I am not willing to pay $145 for TEASING. I get that for free. (review)
• If you’re going to proclaim “best”, “the most powerful” and other comparative statements in marketing, can you at least try to make it true in some way? (review)
• It couldn’t even bring me within a mile of an orgasm. I have determined that it is nothing more than an overpriced gag gift. (review)
• If you’re basing your entire opinion of the sex toy market from your experience shopping at Amazon? And mostly battery-powered vibrators, at that? You don’t know enough to make vibrators. (review)
• The orgasm was a bit like a failed July 4th firework – You see the trail going up up up into the sky, you hold your breath and wait for the bang and burst but it never happens.(review)
• If you hold the handle lightly enough while it’s inserted, then the handle is bobbing away ferociously outside your vag, with some weird rattling vibrations going on inside. It’s flat-out ridiculous.(review)
• The people under the dome had a better chance of escaping than these poor, strangled vibrations. I’m not an engineer and even uneducated lil old me can see that this won’t work. Yet they did it anyway and you’re going to waste your money and they’re okay with that. (review)
• I’m relieved that I can finally write this review and get it off my mind because I just don’t want to ever turn on, much less use, the Queen Bee again. I shouldn’t have to try this hard to get a sex toy to work for me. (review)
• “Is tonight Ring-worthy?” will be a thing people will wonder. They will start to carve hashmarks in their nightstand to keep track of how many times their rings have been used and every 5th hash gets a new ring. It will spawn Lords of the Rings joke in the more geeky of couples. (review)

Which Myths Do I Talk About The Most

Next let’s talk about which sex toy myths I spend the most time fighting – and there are a few! I think the most common one is how people assume that silicone sex toys can’t be stored together and if they are they’ll “melt” – TPR and PVC will, but silicone will not. Ever since realizing more and more that the “cover it with a condom” thing is problematic and complicated at best, I spend a lot of time correcting people on it.  I do also have to correct flame test readings because people will think something is not silicone when it is. If I were on Reddit more (and I’ve basically vacated that toxic place) I would definitely say that the “there’s no ‘best’ sex toy” myth would be high up there – I have spent a lot of time and energy over the years bringing that one down and I have to touch on this more than I expected to with regards to manufacturer’s ridiculous claims.

Which Sex Toys Do I Hate Recommending

First up I hate recommending rabbit/dual-stimulation toys because of how many variables need to be met to ensure the sex toy is a good match for someone. I personally hate recommending vibrating cock rings because many are too weak or buzzy to be of much good to most people’s clitoris, or they won’t line up with the clitoris during sex for most people. They’re complicated and fraught with if/then statements that just make recommending them quite difficult. I also hate recommending “couples toys” that are specifically marketed as such because of many of the same reasons as I hate recommending rabbit vibes. And finally I hate recommending remote-controlled vibrators because quite frankly most of them fail to meet the qualifications that would make them “good”. All of the other options listed were simply things I don’t personally use much or review but CAN and will make educated recommendations.

Thank You!

Not everyone took the time to comment, or go a little above and beyond with their answers. For those who did, I especially thank you – it meant a lot! Thank you to the folks who so blatantly and hysterically tried to cheat – you made it easy to spot, and disqualify, you. Cheers! Thank you to the ones who shared posts and gave great insight on why that particular post mattered to them – it gives me a lot of insight into my readers! I’ve learned a lot from this giveaway, and I’m committed to slowly plodding on this blog for a little while longer. I may never return to the semi-regularity of posting that I once was able to do, thanks to working 45 hours a week at my day job, but I’m not closing things down just yet.

The post The Giveaway, The Breakdown appeared first on Dangerous Lilly.

When I first read about the Womanizer Starlet I was intrigued and happy – finally, a Womanizer product under $100! But would the Starlet retain all of the features I’ve loved in the Womanizer brand? For a long time, despite the gendered name, I have been steadfast with preferring the Womanizer brand due to the build quality, the motor, and the features – features like the up/down/off buttons, long battery run, better head/nozzle, good range of intensity. I knew that the name, and the price, was such a big deterrent but I had good reasons. At this point, especially after hearing strong rumors that the (much better) Womanizer Pro40 is being phased out with the Starlet being kept as the “affordable option”, I’m losing my loyalty to this brand. Fair warning!

How the Womanizer Starlet is Different

Have you ever seen what is done to a drag race car to make it more lightweight therefore giving it more speed? They gut it. Seats? Bah. Who needs ’em. That’s kinda what they’ve done with the Starlet. They took away the thing I’ve loved about the Womanizer models – the buttons. The Starlet has just one button to do it all. I notoriously like being able to skip around up and down the settings as I need more intensity, then less, then way less, and suddenly more more whoa nelly stop and back to level 1. Can’t do that with one button. They also nerfed the battery life, giving you a mere 30 minutes run time.

Another aspect I’ve loved is that the Womanizer models – at least the Pro40, W100, Pro 500, and Plus – had lower-intensity levels. The sensation you get from Womanizer and Satisfyer pressure wave air products kinda almost requires an easing-in. Every model that just jumps straight to serious intensity has been too intense for me. The Womanizer Starlet, having only 4 settings, kicks things off in high gear and it’s too high for me.

To save space and money they also did away with the wider-opening head. Sure, you can buy it yourself but it’s not included.

And a feature that has never mattered to me personally, the waterproofness, has been nerfed to just “splashproof” – no underwater playtime with the Starlet.

What I Like

I like to masturbate at my desk, often, pants on and everything. All the other Womanizer models made this difficult due to the elongated handles. The Womanizer Starlet makes this possible. It also makes it possible to tuck into a pair of snug panties while laying down and let it do its thing, hands-free.  Could this also mean that the Starlet is easier to use during partnered sex? I can see that, yes. But I feel like the intensity of it combined with stimulation from my partner would put a serious expedite on my orgasm – which can be good or bad.

Laying down in bed my use is more limited. My reach and flexibility makes using this while laying down a little bit tricky. Luckily the single-button placement is at least in the best spot – the side opposite the nozzle, the side away from your body, so the button isn’t buried in my labia the way it is with the Satisfyer Pro Traveler. 

I also like the micro-USB charging cable. They started off with that style in the original model and the Pro 500 but lost it in the Plus and Pro40. If everything could be micro-USB cable compatible, multiple-vibrator owners would be SO happy.

Unlike the 2GO, the Womanizer Starlet feels much more travel-friendly. I don’t need a plastic cap to pretend something is travel-friendly. The tiny size of the Starlet means it’ll fit in an array of little satin pouches alongside the small USB cable.

What I Dislike

Everything I loved about the length of the Plus is lost in the Womanizer Starlet. Every feature I love in the Pro40 is gone from the Starlet. Honestly the Womanizer Starlet feels like a good idea that needs a little more time and work. It’s overpriced for what you get. Fewer settings, fewer controls, no extra head for different sensations/bodies, lack of waterproofness. It does also seem to be a little more noisy than its higher-priced siblings, which doesn’t surprise me. And the battery life? YIKES. I can get many sessions from the other Womanizer products but not the Starlet. Battery life on the Starlet is a meager 30 minutes – but charge time is also only 30 minutes.

As noted above they took away my favorite features like lower intensity levels and multiple control buttons – these are features that made me pick the Womanizer. I had had high hopes for a $79 Womanizer but instead, I think I’m going to recommend the newest Satisfyer Pro 2  – the Next Gen model finally brings in extra buttons to their flagship model! Satisfyer still lacks the dual head sizes, and I do still prefer the style of the Womanizer head but when given the chance during testing to use the Womanizer Starlet or the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Gen? I picked the Pro 2. And it’s currently $15 less than the Womanizer Starlet (but lacks a warranty). If you can afford to spend a bit more money then my pick is the Womanizer Pro40 or Plus if you’re flush with cash however rumors as of this writing are that Womanizer is yet again toying with discontinuing the Pro40 to leave the Starlet function as their “lower cost” option and rake is as much as possible from the overpriced upper models. To be honest this decision might be the thing that brings down my Berlin wall of approval between Womanizer and Satisfyer.

The dictionary defines ‘starlet’ as “a young actress with aspirations to become a star” and I feel like that is pretty accurate – the Womanizer Starlet has aspirations but probably isn’t ever going to become the star of the lineup.

Thanks to SheVibe for sending me the Womanizer Starlet in exchange for my honest review!

The post Womanizer Starlet Review appeared first on Dangerous Lilly.

Let’s face it: I’ve never carefully planned anything in my life and I fell into blogging and reviewing on a whim, on a quest. And, quite frankly, for someone with ADD who never managed to finish a semester with her class notes in order, and intact, the fact that I’ve lasted as long as I have as a damn miracle!

I want to thank the following retailers for being impressive, generous to me and their community, for growing and changing, for educating: Shevibe, Early to Bed, Come As You Are, Vibrant, Betty’s Toy Box, Sugar, SelfServe, Toolshed Toys, and Stockroom. I also want to give a nod to equally amazing retailers who weren’t able to participate this year: Smitten Kitten, QToys, As You Like It, SheBop, Spectrum Boutique, The Pleasure Garden, and probably a few more my brain is blanking on.

The manufacturers I’ve included have also all made a big impression on me over the years – whether it’s their ethics, their amazingly orgasmic toys or a blissful combination of all that and a bag of superb social media presence: Funkit Toys, Crystal Delights, Standard Glass, Tenga and Tenga Iroha, Tantus, Blush Novelties, Tails n Portholes, Exotic Erotics, Hole Punch, Nobessence, DoDil, Sheets of San Francisco, Njoy, Je Joue, Agreeable Agony, New York Toy Collective, Split Peaches, We-Vibe, Womanizer, Aslan, Doxy, Vibratex, Eroscillator, Sola and Fun Factory. A nod to the lube makers who don’t burn our bits: Sliquid, Coconu, Good Clean Love, Uberlube, Sutil, Probe, Yes and The Butters. And while Kink Academy isn’t a manufacturer or retailer, they are a phenominal educational site that has been supportive of me and the community. And RGNToys is actually a distributor, but run by an amazing woman whose ethics made me reconsider Doxy as a company. Manufacturers I still love but couldn’t get on the list are L’amourose, Minna, Lumberjill, Vixen, BS Atelier, Crowned Jewels, Spareparts, Fucking Sculptures, and more.

Ahhh the one and only njoy Pure Wand. I first reviewed it in 2008 and it truly ruined me for all future dildos. If not for the beautiful colors found in other products I could easily give up every other dildo I own, I think, probably, if I could just keep my Pure Wand. It’s the only sex toy that can occassionally make me squirt, and it provides the intense G-spot stimulation I need.  Thanks to the generosity of Sugar, Self Serve Toys for each providing a Pure Wand and njoy themselves providing FIVE (plus me taking advantage of a Walgreens whoopsie) I have TEN PURE WANDS to give away, one for every year of blogging.  Please note that 5 of these (provided by and shipped by njoy) are available Internationally (with exceptions¹ while the rest are limited to the US. 

This next one is it’s own bundle of products – This is a 2-bundle-and-a-runner-up section! These two bundles are open to anyone in the US – if you’re outside the US I’d ask that you pay for the shipping via Paypal. Shipping weight is less than a pound.

Bundle 1, the Sex Toy Pins contains:

• All three sex toy pins designed by Isabella Rotman, courtesy of Early to Bed; 
• Bruise Me peach and Butt Stuff pins I purchased from CunningLinguistCo;
• the Love Bound and Usagi pins plus the ball gag patch I purchased from Sugarbones
• and a Hanky Code pin from New York Toy Collective.

Bundle 2, the Queer Bundle has:

• the Token Queer pin I got from Gold + Mean;
• Queer Sex Ed For All pin from Isabella Rotman; 
• 1 hanky and a fold-up tote bag from NYTC
• plus their Gender I Don’t Know Her patch
• and one each of their Hanky Code, Platypus and Gender pins
• and the Butch Please keychain.

Runner-up will receive a hanky, a Gender patch, and one each of the hanky code pin and gender pin (plus some cool little stickers from Sugarbones).  

These prizes are limited to the United States OR International² if you’re willing to pay for the shipping yourself via Paypal.  Prizes include:

• A Tenga Fliphole from Self Serve Toys;
• a custom pride-flag (rainbow or your own preference of pride combo colors) Funkit B1;
• an Exotic Erotics Orca, and a Yacuruna – Mini size for both, both available in your choice of colors (their normal offerings) – Yes, you get both!
• and an Exotic Erotics small Corn (their April Fools limiited edition item);
• a Tails and Portholes rainbow Male Nereid
• The rainbow Standard Glass dildo – To see the dildo, visit this Instagram video!
• the Whispers of Fire Chaos flogger from Toolshed Toys (this prize includes a 1-month membership to Kink Academy) – For a good look at the flogger you’re getting, visit this Instagram video!
• a Crystal Delights Twist dildo in your color choice
• and a Crystal Delights princess plug in your color and size choice
• There’s a Womanizer Plus
• and finally a restraints bundle of this collar, leash and wrist cuffs from Stockroom with this beginner’s rope kit from Agreeable Agony (restraints bundle also comes with a 1-month membership to Kink Academy).
• (Not Pictured) Lube Bundle! 1 person gets a whole bunch o lube – Good Clean Love Almost Naked (1.5oz), Sliquid Lube Sampler, Uberlube 50ml, Coconu water-based and Coconu oil-based

These prizes are available to residents of US, Canada, and a couple other countries – it varies depending on the item so check it out in the footnotes.

• Thanks to Shevibe³ we’ve got the Eroscillator Top Deluxe,
• Swan Wand
• and Womanizer Pro40.
• From Come As You Are⁴ you’ll get a bundle featuring the Fuze Velvet dildo, the Aslan Jaguar Leather harness (Slim or Regular, Black), and Sutil Hathor lube.
• From Tenga Iroha⁵ you can have your choice of the Iroha Kushi OR Tori;
• from Hole Punch Toys⁶ you’ll get $125 to spend on anything in their shop.
• Sheets of San Francisco⁷ is offering up their flat sheet “throw” in Black which I’ve been told is a better-feeling alternative to the Liberator Throe.
• From Blush Novelties⁸ you’ll get to choose: Two Avant Pride items – whether it’s two dildos, two plugs or a dildo and a plug, pick the Pride flags that best represent YOU. Blush is also letting you have my fave Nude Impression multi-tool Vibe!
• And finally from Early to Bed⁹, the Sola Cue vibrator.

This last set of prizes is available mostly-worldwide – except for the places sex toys can’t get past customs, etc. There are some restrictions that vary from company to company, so pay attention in the footnotes!

• From We-Vibe¹⁰ you can win a Tango…
• a Rave…
• and an Anniversary Collection Kit!
• Split Peaches¹¹ is offering a Unicorn Horn dildo – you choose the size and color!
• RGNToys¹² is letting you pick your fave color Doxy Die Cast.
• Betty’s Toy Box¹³ is sponsoring the Fun Factory Stronic G – your color choice
• and the Magic Wand Rechargeable.
• Vibrant¹⁴ is sponsoring the Je Joue Mimi Soft, your choice on color
• and Nobessence¹⁵ is giving us a Fling!
• DoDil¹⁶ is offering up their very cool moldable dildo!
• a Pulse III SOLO from Hot Octopuss¹⁷!
• Finally from Tantus¹⁸ we have a trio of butt plugs – the Touchdown, the Capsule and the Severin Super Soft – winner takes all three, and chooses the color/sizes.

A few rules & restrictions: Make sure you use a valid email address – chosen winners will have Three Days to respond to me or I’ll choose someone else. Those who live outside the area and enter to win a product they need to pay shipping for need to then pay for that shipping cost (I’ll let you know the $) within 5 days. Any winners outside the US are responsible for paying any customs fees that may occur. I reserve the right to delete entries that are from the same household, entries where you’ve claimed to do the thing and then didn’t, or entries from social media accounts that exist only to enter contests.  <— It seems that that part was not clear enough: one person per household may enter. If you break this rule, all entries will be invalidated. If you do some entries now and some later, make sure you do it under the same Gleam login. If your social media accounts exist just for or 90% for entering giveaways, then your social media entries will be invalidated. I reserve the right to invalidate entries if they do not comply with the requested action and are therefore incorrect or appear to be cheating. If you appear to try to be cheating on multiple entries then all entries are invalid. In short, just do what you said you did in the giveaway widget. Be decent.

IMPORTANT: Read this before you enter! You must choose your prizes, and your choice must be listed the way it is listed below and you cannot make changes once your entry is submitted. Copy/paste the item name from the list if you need to, to get it right. Please consult the footnotes for International shipping restrictions by prize. Pick 1-4 prizes and list them in order of your preference, from most wanted to least wanted.

• Njoy Pure Wand (US)
• Njoy Pure Wand (INT)
• Bundle 1 – Sex Toy Pins
• Bundle 2 – Queer Pins and Accessories
• Standard Glass Rainbow Dildo
• Whispers of Fire Chaos Flogger
• Restraint Kit (Wrist cuffs, Collar, Leash, Agreeable Agony Rope Kit)
• Exotic Erotics Orca and Yacuruna Minis
• Exotic Erotics Small Corn
• Tails n Portholes Rainbow Male Nereid
• Crystal Delights Princess Plug
• Crystal Delights Twist Dildo
• Funkit Toys Custom Pride Colors B1 Dildo
• Tenga Flip Hole
• Womanizer Plus
• Eroscillator Top Deluxe
• Sola Cue
• Aslan Jaguar Harness + Fuze Velvet Bundle
• Tenga Iroha Plus Vibrator Choice
• Swan Wand
• Sheets of San Fransisco Black Throw
• Blush Pride Picks + Nude Impressions 01 Bundle
• Womanizer Pro40
• Hole Punch $125 Gift Card
• We-Vibe Tango
• We-Vibe Rave
• We-Vibe Anniversary Kit
• Split Peaches Unicorn Horn
• Magic Wand Rechargeable
• Je Joue Mimi Soft
• Fun Factory Stronic G
• DoDil
• Doxy Die Cast
• Nobessence Fling
• Tantus Butt Plug Trio
• Lube Bundle
• Hot Octopuss Pulse III SOLO

10 Salty Years Giveaway

The post Lilly’s ’10 Salty Years’ Giveaway appeared first on Dangerous Lilly.

In this post I’m focusing on the selling points that UVEE is making for their product (and against other cleaning methods) because I feel it’s important to look critically at their claims to help you decide if the expensive light box is worth it.

ETA: For further information on sanitizing standards and more, start with this article on sanitizing via your dishwasher. In the first paragraph there are links to articles about sanitizing, disinfecting, and more.

I keep getting approached to review the UVEE sex toy cleaning box by the company and every time I’ve been approached, I’ve fired back with a lot of questions. They have always answered me, but I’ve never been quite convinced that the UVEE is something I should recommend to my readers. Sometimes it’s a money issue I keep coming back to – most of my readers can’t afford to drop $120 and up for something that isn’t going to get them off. Mostly it’s a “but this isn’t really necessary” issue combined with a little “yeah, but, will this actually work?” skepticism.

One of my biggest complaints about the UVEE isn’t actually about the UVEE system itself, but the fact that they seem to be using scare tactics to tell you that whatever cleaning method you’re using, it isn’t enough. On their site: “Bottom line, you can clean your toys but without UV-C you can’t sanitize them.” This feels dangerous, to me, because then people may think “well I can’t afford the UVEE and nothing else is effective, so why bother?” But last year the Head of Operations said this: “Yes, there are ways to sanitize without UV-C, including bleach, alcohol, and soap & water. However, we don’t believe this is something the average person actually does.”

That last line contradicts their current website claims.

Wherein They Put Down Alcohol and Bleach

Recently their latest PR company contacted a number of bloggers with a list of bullet-points that counters every cleaning method I’d asked them about in the past when they’d reach out, and they claim that UV-C light is superior to all of these things¹. When I got to the bullet point that says, and I quote: “Alcohol and bleach – can destroy surface materials and change body’s natural pH balance”, well, I think you know my reaction.

I specifically countered to them the last time that these two cleaning methods are well-accepted by many medical organizations as a way to disinfect. And most bloggers and educators will take the time to explain to people that you do not just pour on unadulerated bleach, let it air dry, and go forth and fuck. You use a solution of bleach and water (10% bleach, 90% water) and then you rinse it off well with water or mild soap and water.

This means there’s not anything left on the sex toy to harm your body, right? When I Google “will bleach on your sex toy harm your pH” I see the same, generic rhetoric without anybody linking to a study that details whether or not this effect happens if the person does not rinse/wash the evaporated alcohol/bleach off the sex toy. When I see a study that tells me otherwise, I will change my opinion on alcohol and bleach cleaning. Until then, I decided to run a little experiment and y’all know how I love doing that. More on that in a minute.

And alcohol? Rubbing alcohol can sometimes create swelling of silicone but that will return to normal as you let the item air dry. It doesn’t cause any lasting harm. Some sex toy manufacturers may caution against using it because of this temporary swelling, due to customer complaints and customers thinking their item is defective. It is also possible (but I have no idea on the liklihood) that rubbing alcohol could do harm to a polyurethane coating which sometimes exists on silicone products.

When I asked the person I go to the most these days for science-y stuff (Kenton, if you haven’t figured that out by now), his response told me all I needed to know about their claims against alcohol and bleach. I also work at a company that uses silicone products and cleans them with alcohol, to no detriment.

The pH Experiment

It’s pretty simple – Start with a water-based liquid solution. Test the pH. In a different container let a silicone sex toy hang out in something with a very different pH, rinse it, then put the sex toy in the control liquid container and swish it around and re-test the pH of the control liquid. I started with tap water (pH was around 6.5) and used vinegar because that’s what I easily had on hand at the moment. Vinegar had a pH of somewhere around 3. When I then put the vinegar-soaked-and-then-rinsed silicone back in the tap water and re-tested the pH of the water I found no change to the pH.

While this is a very rudimentary experiment, the experiment combined with the expert input from others tells me that it’s not going to change your body’s pH to clean sex toys in rubbing alcohol or bleach so long as you rinse (water or soap and water) and then air-dry if you used alcohol.

Boiling Water Isn’t Good Enough?

They also tried to tell us that “Boiling water will not kill bacteria and can damage the toys”. Again, context. Are you talking about a vibrator? They do mention electronics on the website but not in their PR pitch. Sure as hell that’ll destroy a vibrator. But most bloggers and educators take the time to spell out “don’t put anything with a motor in boiling water”. We also tell folks that it needs to be in the boiling water for about 10 minutes – dildo soup! They also state that a dishwasher can damage toys. Yes, it can, if people aren’t educated to avoid using detergent in the cycle and if they put a toy with a motor in there. From what I’ve read a dishwasher can only sanitize your sex toys if the dishwasher has a sanitize cycle – anything less and you’re just getting them a little more clean.

Sex Toy Cleansers

And then they talk about sex toy cleaning “foams and gels”, which as I’ve said, I dislike. They’re not necessary, especially in light of using affordable, readily available, rubbing alcohol and bleach (diluted). Unless you have an active infection or plan to use a sex toy between untested partners or plan to use a sex toy between ass and vagina, mild soap and warm water are enough. Mild soap, warm water, and a few minutes of rubbing are what every doctor will tell you to employ to keep yourself healthy during cold and flu season, yet somehow this is not good enough for sex toys?

However, my final skepticism comes from, well, good ole sex-toy-industry-skepticism. They can tell me they have run lab tests. They can show me the lab tests. But what do I have at home to prove that the UV light is killing whatever might have been on the sex toy in the first place?

Nothing. This may come off very conspiracy-theory because there’s also nothing telling me that I’ve gotten my sex toys disinfected at home with my own methods, right?

It Cleans What It Sees

Here’s the other aspect of UV-C light being used to sanitize: It can only clean what it sees, essentially. The light has to hit the spot. The UVEE box has lights on the bottom and top and seems to do a pretty good job of avoiding shadows but I don’t think  it’s foolproof for every sex toy. Because you can’t see what’s happening, you won’t know if you missed a spot with the light. When I’m cleaning by hand I can feel pretty confident that I’ve washed all the surfaces.

Porous Materials and UV-C Light

I also asked about the porous materials, at one point, because if UV light could sanitize a porous material then that could be very awesome. Most people who buy porous sex toys cannot afford the UVEE, but I’m thinking specifically about the people who spend money on masturbation sleeves like Tenga and Fleshlight – they’re not cheap! Because the UV light can only kill what it can “see” it’s surface-only for opaque materials – which is no better than any other cleaning method since we know that bacteria, yeast and other things can make a home down in the pores. If it’s completely clear, then it’s possible. There are clear Fleshlight sleeves, and you can remove them from their cases, so I will cautiously approve it for that. The Tenga Flip Hole material may also be clear enough for this to work, but again…without an indepedant lab test I am extremely reluctant to tell you it’ll work. I’d want to cut into the product to make sure it sanitized down into the pores.

Specifically, here is what I was told from the company:

The UV-C light can eliminate bacteria as deep as light can penetrate. Light can penetrate deeper (even all the way through) in lighter/ clear/more transparent toys than it can darker or more opaque toys. We have tested our systems on many of the materials that pleasure products are made out of including jelly (which is quite porous), our study found our system to be over 99.9% effective at eliminating bacteria, which is 3-5 times more effective than foam and spray cleaners. Bacteria is killed quickly under UV-C light but our systems run longer than the time necessary to kill the bacteria, this gives more time for the light to penetrate materials. Also, we did a specific study on “complex devices”, specifically the Magic Wand. This is called a crevice test, and we were able to prove that our system is 99.9% effective at eliminating bacteria on complex devices as well. As you know, these devices are not water proof and problematic to properly clean in the nooks and crannies. 

A reader recently asked me about combining the UVEE with a Womanizer, because they felt that the Womanizer was hard to thoroughly clean. Again I am concerned about the “shadows” in the nozzles and that that therefore makes it possibly less effective than the following method: Remove the silicone nozzle and wash it in soap and water or soak it in a 10% bleach solution for 10 minutes – followed by a thorough rinse and air dry. Use a Q-tip or paper towel corner to get some rubbing alcohol swabbed inside the hard plastic nozzle of the toy, or just soapy water. Rinse and dry thoroughly. Re-assemble.

The bottom line is that the UVEE system will appeal to a small percentage of folx, and that’s fine. I’m not here to shame your choice in the matter and I’m not here to say that the UVEE, or similar products, are 100% useless. I’m writing this because the claims made in favor of the UVEE system, claims which put down perfectly good (and accessible) cleaning methods feels wrong and dangerous. I want people to understand that they do not *need* UV light to clean their sex toys properly and thoroughly.

If you absolutely hate taking the time to properly clean your sex toys then by all means get that UVEE system. If you’re in situations where sex toys will be shared – or used anally and then vaginally – and you’re not able to get easy access to alcohol or bleach, etc, then a UV light box could be right for you. If you don’t have the spoons or physical ability to clean things properly every time, that’s valid, too. Get that UVEE. But I want to offset the marketing buzz with some logic, education, and a healthy dose of skepticism.  Unlike the creators of UVEE I feel that the general population of sex toy owners doesn’t need such an expensive tool for cleaning, it’s a niche product.

The post Ask Lilly: Should I use UV Light to Clean My Sex Toys? appeared first on Dangerous Lilly.

I was so extremely skeptical of Lelo’s claim to be doing the pressure air technology different – by incorporating sonic waves, aka sound waves – that I had to feel it for myself. Let me be clear, though: I still don’t support Lelo and I never will – I broke up with them years ago and my decision has been reinforced by their marketing choices and that terrible, troubling condom. I 100% feel that you can get an equal or better identical product by choosing Womanizer or Satisfyer over the Lelo Sona or Sona Cruise. Yet I’m still spending nearly 2,000 words talking about an inferior product that has made some people bleed because I’m thorough, damn it.

The Lelo Sona Cruise is…Sonic?

Lelo’s ad copy says: “SONA Cruise is a sonic clitoral massager. That means it doesn’t rely on vibrations like a conventional sex toy. Instead, it uses sonic waves and pulses to stimulate the entire clitoris – not just the external part you can see and touch.” 

I’m side-eyeing that real hard, folx. They’re right on one thing, it’s not relying on vibrations. Neither does the Womanizer brand or Satisfyer brand of pressure air pulsators. So basically Lelo is claiming to use SOUND. 

Yes, there is sound – there’s always sound. But I can see and feel the little fluttering gizmo that is producing the air pulse sensations, and it is just like the Womanizer and Satisfyer models. Do they feel the same? Mostly, yes. I think that the Lelo Sona Cruise is more intense right off the bat (not a great thing in my book) but I believe it’s because there’s less physical space between the fluttering motor and the point of clitoral contact. The nozzle is also thinner inside in width than most Womanizer and Satisfyer models; I noticed that that aspect also leads to a more intense sensation, like I saw in the Womanizer 2GO. For comparison, the inside width of the Lelo Sona Cruise nozzle is .454 inches or 11.53 mm, and it is circular – the smallest width of the oval Womanizer nozzle is 12.3mm.

Despite their “sonic” claims I cannot feel any discernible difference, other than initial intensity, from Womanizer and Satisfyer models. Yes, due to designs there is varying sensation between all of the Womanizer and Satisfyer models — some more intense, some less, some more thuddy, some more shallow/buzzy. A few people have reported to me that the Sona worked for them where a Womanizer or Satisfyer did not, but I don’t know why – maybe it’s an intensity thing? So yes, the short distance and narrow opening means the Lelo Sona Cruise is more intense right away compared to some other models, but I do not think it feels different enough to warrant the “sonic waves” claim.

What is this Cruise Control Bullshit?

“Specially developed by LELO and exclusive to SONA, Cruise Control is a feature that reserves 20% of SONA’s full power during normal use, so that when SONA is pressed hard against the body and the motor begins to drop power, that extra 20% is unleashed so that there’s no reduction of intensity. It’s not a setting, it’s completely automatic, and it eliminates the single most common complaint against pleasure products.”

That…..It’s….That is not a Thing That Happens in these types of sex toys. I’ve never experienced a drop in motor power if I pressed a Womanizer or Satisfyer harder against my vulva. Not once. Yes, it feels different and maybe a little less intense but that’s not what they’re saying here. They’re saying specifically the motor drops power. Typical to Lelo’s infuriatin marketing tactics over the last 5 years they are inventing problems that don’t exist and then “solving” them. Yes, a traditional vibrator will see a power decrease as more pressure is applied but we’ve already established that this is not a vibrator. 

In practice the Cruise Control is simply infuriating and reminds me of the problematic Smart Wand’s “SenseTouch” which would supposedly increase the vibration the harder you pressed, except that many users found it would act erratically. I experienced that same erract behavior when using the Lelo Sona Cruise – sometimes it would seem to increase, and sometimes it would decrease. Sometimes the increase wouldn’t stop even when it was literally not touching my vulva, when I had it just hovering over my clitoris because the sensations were too intense.

Cruise Control is trash, for me. I don’t want to guess at the intensity level I’ll get – I want to have control over it. That’s why there are various intensity levels! Pick the one you want! I want it to stay at a lower intensity on the lower levels until I’m ready for something more. I’m actually laughing at the disparity in their name choice for this “feature”.  Cruise control in a car means you maintain the same speed so congratulations for naming it like you’re in Bizarro World.

I would hate the Lelo Sona about 20% less because it lacks the useless, horrible Cruise Control. So if you must, just get the regular Lelo Sona. But, I mean, still don’t get the Lelo Sona.

Patterns? What Fresh Hell is This?????

Patterns. They’re controversial but most people don’t like them. They are the bane of my existence, they are the thing I almost always accidentally turn on and then frantically try to reverse. Patterns are what I only resort to if I’m trying to fool my clitoris into thinking the vibrations are more rumbly or more intense than they are, and it nearly never works out for me.

The Lelo Sona Cruise buttons are closely-aligned and difficult to distinguish by touch alone. Given how un-ergonomic I feel the entire design is, combined with the diminuitive size I hate, I’m usually pushing the wrong buttons. Entering into patterns on a pressure air sex toy, one that is already intense, is akin to that burst of pain you feel when you consume a hot or cold liquid and you have dental pain. That sharp, wrong-feeling, nerve-zapping makeitstoppppp feeling is what I felt any time I accidentally went into patterns.

To be honest, this feature alone would be enough to make me never pick up the Lelo Sona Cruise again, but wait…there’s more.

It’s Painful

The Lelo Sona Cruise caused me pain in two unexpected ways. The first was while holding it. It’s a combination of the size, the button placement, and the weird way the body of it bends away from you where the controls are. Every press of the button would rock the nozzle away from my vulva so I needed to keep an anchor on it by pressing my fingers around the back, and lower. It is awkward to hold in ways that straight-bodied models like the Pro40 or Satisfyer Pro 2 are not. I would actually rather use the potato with the pokey button, aka the Womanizer Pro 500 Deluxe Whatever They’re Calling It now.

The second way the Lelo Sona Cruise is painful to me took some time to figure out, and I may not have understood what was happening without Aurora asking me specifically if I’d ever heard of anybody bleeding after use. By the time she asked me I’d forgotton about this thread on Reddit where multiple people reported bleeding after use, and a few others on Twitter mentioned bleeding¹. I can’t say that it made me bleed because I never paid attention (and didn’t know what was happening at the time) but I know that it cut my vulva a bit or irritated it to the point of localized pain. The last few times I used the Sona I had to pee shortly after and noticed that when I wiped, it hurt. Like an open cut. It wasn’t excruciating so I ignored it. I didn’t connect the two facts until I used it again after Aurora’s question and it hit me.

The culprit is the short distance between the exterior opening of the nozzle and the “flappy bit” motor inside the nozzle that causes the air pulsation. No other pressure-wave sex toy has this short of a distance – not even the smallest Satisfyer or the smallest Womanizer. There is, without a doubt, a short enough distance between the edge of the nozzle of the Lelo Sona Cruise and the motor to allow a clitoris or labia to come into contact with semi-moving parts. I say “semi-moving” because there is a squishy skin-like membrane over the flappy bit. It’s not like there are sharp edges but it is enough to cause irritation to my vulva/clitoris.

How short of a distance? When the motor is on, the distance is halved; if I insert my pinky finger then it’s just equal to the distance between the tip of my finger and the base of my nail bed aka 7.8mm or .3 inches. That’s it.

This is ridiculous.

How the Lelo Sona Cruise Compares to Other Brands

Given Lelo’s penchant for drastically overpricing everything they sell I’m absolutely shocked that the most expensive Sona is still considerably less expensive than the Womanizer brand. That said even though I strongly prefer and recommend the Womanizer brand over the Satisfyer brand I still would rather see you get a Satisfyer than a Lelo Sona.

Unlike the Womanizer and Satisfyer products, the Lelo Sona Cruise does not have a removable silicone nozzle for easier cleaning. Yes, this means that the Lelo Sona is covered in silicone (except for the large plastic plate on the backside) but it’s not a “good feature” to me. Unlike most Womanizer models the Lelo Sona Cruise has only one opening size and that opening is pretty small. This is not a sex toy for larger clits but given it’s penchant for cutting up smaller clits, it’s not for those either. It’s for NO clit.

When we talk about the pressure-wave air stimulators we have to talk about the noise level because despite not having a vibrating motor, these can still get kinda noisy. Lelo would, of course, have you believe that theirs is superior: “It’s quiet and restrained – perfect for users who need discretion.” Strangely, unlike most other models, the Lelo Sona Cruise gets much more noisy when the nozzle is covered. With most Womanizer and Satisfyer models they are a little noisy until they come in full contact with your vulva, then they are extremely quiet. Check out the Instagram video to hear the strange noises it makes. Also note the sounds you hear after I remove my thumb from the nozzle, you can hear the motor stepping back down in strength.

You’ll get much less use time out of the Lelo Sona Cruise, as well. Nearly all of the Satisfyer models give you 2 hours, and many Womanizer models boast use times of up to 4 hours on a single charge. Womanizer also gives a better warranty – 2 Years to Lelo’s 1 Year.  I’m not adding the Sona specs to the Womanizer vs Satisfyer guide spreadsheet but you can see how they compare.   

I can’t recommend the Lelo Sona Cruise, at all. I hate every single thing about it and feel that nearly any model of Womanizer or Satisfyer pressure air sex toys is equally as good or better. 

Much thanks to SheVibe for providing me with a Lelo Sona Cruise in exchange for my honest review!                                                                                                                                                              

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Not too long after we discussed this apparent closure on Twitter, Camila Klinger (owner of both Tulip and Vamp) sent out an email to retailers:

Vamp Silicone has a deep passion for, and commitment to, hand-making creative silicone adult novelties. As a small LGBTQIA owned and operated business making functional and high quality toys, we take great pride in serving our community.

Recently our company has gone through a hardship. During this difficult time it has also been an opportunity to regroup and meticulously plan an exciting future for our products and we are happy to announce that our production will resume next week, starting August 1st, 2017.

They never did resume production and emails were still left unanswered. So, what happened?

Negative Online Reviews

There are negative reviews on Facebook but not a ton – of course, that doesn’t mean there aren’t a lot more disgruntled customers out there who lost money. There are a few Better Business Bureau negative reviews. The Vamp Silicone Facebook page is gone, but both Twitter accounts still exist (but with no recent activity). The Vamp Instagram account is still up, with no activity for almost a year. There are a lot of negative Google reviews for Tulip Toy Gallery’s physical locations – citing they didn’t receive product or refund – and all locations are listed as “permanently closed” on Google and Yelp. There are some tweets about unfilled/non-refunded orders, too.

The reviews have a lot to say¹ – this is just a sample of the ones I’ve found for Tulip and Vamp:

“It was an item that for some reason they don’t actively carry in stock, so the woman working told me I’d have it in 4-10 days by mail. 2 weeks pass and nothing. I tried calling the store over and over again and the line was not in service. I finally make it back to the store and the person working that day says that the first person spoke in error, that it’s not 4-10 days, bur 4-10 weeks, and that if I want I can email the manager for a refund. I give them the benefit of the doubt and wait the 4-10 weeks. 11 weeks after ordering and still nothing. I emailed the manager and have had no response after waiting a few weeks. I just went into the store the other day, only managers can issue returns, but they only work from like 3-5. The woman working took all my information and told me that the manager would call me the next day (after apologizing profusely) since I work and can’t make it in when the manager is in. No phone call. I have had it. This place has essentially stolen over $100 from me and I plan on reporting them to the Better Business Bureau. This is absolutely ridiculous.” (Tulip) (see follow-up report number 1 below)

“This place is an absolute effing JOKE. I placed an online order back in May. MAY!!! I’ve called numerous times and sent several emails to find out the status of my so called “processing” order. Their phone is disconnected and no one has responded to my emails. Absolutely AMAZING business etiquette. NOT!!” (Tulip) (see follow-up report number 2 listed below)

“I recently ordered an item and waited a week, finally I emailed inquiring about the item and why I have not received it and requested a refund.. received an email two days later stating that it was out of stock and were waiting to receive it to send to me.. and that a refund can take up to 30 days.. I emailed asking if I’m going to receive a confirmation about the refund being processed … haven’t received a response back. If I do not receive my refund within the time specified will be reporting to better business bureau.” (Tulip)

and a follow up to that review was: “I received a call that they processed the refund two weeks ago and the funds have not made it to my account.. I have called and emailed the phone number is now temporarily disconnected!!!! So upset at this point. Going to file a claim at this point.” (Tulip)

“Still unable to get in contact, I have emailed and Facebook messaged as phone is dissconected they have read my Facebook message but have failed to reply my order of $180 worth of stuff has still not arrived it has been 8 weeks!! Give me an explanation and deliver the product I have paid for or give my money back!” (Tulip)

“Placed an order towards the beginning of July, understood it would take a bit of time since these are oftentimes handmade items, but it is now nearing the end of September and my order is still marked “processing.” I contacted them September 18th requesting the status of my order, and told them if it still wasn’t ready, I wanted a full refund because at this point I was out $80 for nothing. Still no response, emailed them again tonight (09/20/2017) and threatened to file a complaint this time if no one tells me what the heck is going on. At this point I don’t even want my items, I just want all of my money back, but I read someone else’s review and it seems they never got a refund… Fingers crossed. ” (Vamp)

” I placed an order on August 7th and my credit card was charged for the purchase. I have emailed several times to check on my order that I still have not received as of September 14th and have not had any response from this company. I am concerned that this company has taken my money and I will not receive product or refund. ” (Vamp)

But as early as last summer a fellow sex toy review blogger visited their main location and had nothing but good things to say.

Behind the Scenes of Tulip Toy Gallery and Vamp Silicone

Because of my tweets last year asking about the companies an anonymous source reached out to me recently to shed a little light on the mystery of Vamp Silicone and Tulip Toy Gallery². Back in October 2017 an official sign was placed on the door to let people know that Tulip Toy Gallery (the main location and, by that time, the only location still open) was legally shut down and not allowed to sell anything. That was the last time any employee went to work.

The customer complaints paint some of the picture, but then it gets worse. I was told they kept their doors open – both brick and online – with a severe lack of stock at Tulip and a lack of silicone at Vamp. The source says that they “ran out of silicone” for production of Vamp dildos back in May of 2017, but had unfulfilled orders reportedly going back as far as 2016. When customers would reach out for their refund they would be told that it had to be approved by the owner who I’m told never (or rarely) approved the refunds.

With regards to Tulip Toy Gallery unfulfilled orders, I was told that employees were reportedly instructed to lie to customers and say that there was a delay with the distributor and their order would be in soon. Soon never came. After the employees were told to lie to customers, I was told that Camila would eventually reach out to the customer (most times) and tell them the refund was in process but could take up to 30 days to go through – but reportedly most people never received a refund. 

I was also told that towards the end of being in business, Tulip Toy Gallery barely had any actual stock to sell in their store and there were reportedly as many as 75 customer orders as of October 2017 that needed a refund from Tulip Toy Gallery or Vamp Silicone.

All of this information has been verified and deemed accurate by a second anonymous source.

I’ve looked up business licenses and cannot find any that match the address of Tulip/Vamp, the name, or other reportedly connected names such as Three Red Peaches. If a business license is suspended or revoked for something like unpaid taxes it could be reinstated when the taxes are paid. I am unsure how a website could be owned and operated without a business license, as I do not understand law to that degree.

Reaching Out to Upset Customers

I was able to reach a few of the people who’ve left reviews; I wanted to see if they received a refund or the items they ordered.

The first person responded: “No. And the bank couldn’t give me back my money because by the time I knew there was an issue, it was beyond the limit of time they allow to contest a change.” This person had gone back to the store repeatedly, and ended up waiting a total of 4 months because of the delays the employee kept giving them – first the 4-10 days by mail delay, then the 4-10 weeks they claimed to have originally told them to wait. I asked if they reported it to the BBB, and they said “I did. The BBB didn’t/couldn’t do anything. They eventually closed the case.”

One person said that they did not receive a refund or product; they “even contacted Vamp and told them what had happened.. suggested to them that the same thing has happened to others as evident in the comments. Never received an email for phone call from Vamp either.”

One person did get their money back – it seems that complaining to the Better Business Bureau helped: “One of the workers reached out to me personally on her own private fb page so she fixed it up for me. the company itself kept ignoring my messages on there Facebook page and emails as there phone was disconnected. I only heard back from the lady when I lodged a complaint from some organisation in America and they actually contacted tulips on my behalf. I sent about 10 Facebook messages and 4 emails all up and every message on Facebook I could see that they had seen it and ignored.

Great! I told her I was glad she had gotten a refund, that two people I’d spoken to thus far had not. She continued: “Yes well I only had mine refund by a worker who said she was horrified hearing someone else that worked there telling her about my complaints so she personally got in touch with me and refunded me.” I was also privately wondering how an employee could have issued a refund when anonymous sources confirmed that only Camila could authorize and put through refunds. Because the messages were exchanged via Facebook, I asked her if she had their name and would pass it along. Her response? “Camila Klinger”. When I told her that Camila was not an employee, she is an owner, she said: “That’s weird she said she was one of the workers and she had not been there for that long and was not aware.”

I also was able to reach Autumn, who had sent out a warning last summer via Twitter as linked above and who had, by November, still not received product or refund. She confirmed that no refund has been issued yet. Autumn tried to contact Vamp by email, Instagram, and by calling Tulip Toy Gallery to no response.

Response from the Owner, Camila Klinger

Camila has been responding to my emails over the last week, and this is what I’m allowed to share³:

“Thank you for bringing possible pending refunds to my attention. We were operating with limited resources during a very challenging time and it’s possible some customers were not properly refunded for their orders. As I previously expressed, I’ve been working to regain access to restricted accounts, working to retrieve dispute activity and will work with the companies to release funds if needed. To help remedy the situation and take care of customers I have posted the following notice.

As for the other allegations, I believe there are some misunderstandings. Since my current focus is on past customers, I will keep this brief and to the point:

I have never instructed employees to lie to customers and I have never myself lied to any customers.

If Vamp took orders, it’s because we were equipped to do so or had inventory to offer in the meantime during silicone shortages. Many times we didn’t expect silicone shortages to delay as long as they did. While things weren’t all handled well, we would not have acted recklessly in the way that your sources have characterized.

I believe honestly and in good faith that these are misunderstandings and I would like to work hard to clarify them.

Needless to say, Vamp and Tulip are tiny, independently owned businesses. We operate in a highly competitive market place and in an economic landscape that offers virtually no incentives for small businesses such as ours. Loans and other funding options for adult type businesses add to the challenges. We do the best we can. There were a lot of financial hardships that led to the closing of the company, there were problems that weren’t handled well at the time, all I can say is that we will work hard to, and I hope we will, do better in the future once Vamp is again fully operational.

As for Tulip, I am working on a statement as well. I have a part-time job working nights and so I am doing the best that I can with my limited time and resources. But this will be addressed ASAP, I can guarantee that to you.”

Camila also included in her email to me a list of positive customer feedback quotes. I don’t doubt that over the years there have been many satisfied customers. There are plenty of positive reviews on the web, visible at the locations I’ve linked already.

I do want to note that Camila seemed to take it very seriously when I informed her that there appeared to be outstanding Vamp Silicone orders that are due a refund. At this time I don’t have any information on outstanding nonrefunded Tulip Toy Gallery orders, but will do my best to press more for answers on that. There is more evidence of outstanding Tulip Toy Gallery orders than Vamp Silicone orders but it should be noted the Vamp Silicone Facebook page has been gone for some time, and we cannot know about reviews that may be been on that page.

While my initial email to Camila focused a bit more on Vamp than Tulip, I am still trying to get more answers about Tulip. I have asked many specific questions and not received the specific answers I would like to see. Camila is citing a lack of time and a preference to focus on cleaning up issues with Vamp and Tulip that I have brought up (in regards to orders). I have asked, specifically, about points the anonymous sources made such as the number of outstanding orders, the fact that Vamp ran out of silicone in May, the issues with refunds and the reportedly purposeful delays of refunds.

My interpretation of the most recent email leads me to believe that Camila may attempt to revive Vamp Silicone in the future.

~   ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~

My aim for writing this post is to ensure that customers are well-informed. I hope that this post finds anybody who has still not received a refund; if that is you, then please contact me or respond in comment to this post. I would hope that Camila will ensure you get your overdue refund, and I will pass on all information of overdue refunds. 

During my investigation and contact with Camila she began working on ways to refund the outstanding Vamp Silicone orders I discussed. There is currently a page up at Vamp telling customers how to get their overdue refunds. Email all of your order info to vamprefunds@gmail.com. When writing, please include your order information and any other relevant details.

It should be noted that if you are a customer having problems with an order, do not let it go longer than 28 days⁴ before you contact your bank to reverse the charges.

I hope that anyone who has shopped at mytulip.com or vampsilicone.com will find this post if they are overdue on a refund. I would also hope that anyone deciding on whether or not to shop with them finds this post, to better make their own informed decision about shopping there. I don’t know the future of these two businesses, but mytulip.com is currently operating and taking orders.

I have withheld my personal opinions and speculations from this post for legal reasons, but have left the comments open for others to express their own opinions, share experiences and ask questions. I hope that any questions others may post here will also be answered by Camila.

I will update this post if I get new information.

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