Happy World

White Barcelona

2010-03-08T18:52:00.002+01:00

Snow is collapsing Barcelona, a city that has rarely seen more than an inch of snow winter in winter out is now under one feet of snow. Not much, say, for Moscow but a hell of a lot for a city famous for it's all year round weather. The video is mine and was shot in Plaza Lesseps a few minutes ago, enjoy my dog, Cucu, playing with the snow.
Read more here.

Crossed eyed and painless

2010-02-19T12:04:00.008+01:00

Don’t feel too good lately. It must something about the age and the expiration of the guarantee of many of my body parts. The thing is that in a period of a few months I’ve had as much maladies as all the previous ones combined. You know, when suddenly your fridge goes PUFF, and when you call the repairman only to discover that the guarantee expired last week? That is exactly how I feel. With the only difference that my repairman is full of needles and tubes that go in awkward places in your anatomy and no matter how much fixing they perform, your engine will never perform at its´ optimized level. From now on the future looks dimp - diets, exercise and rest - a lot of rest. For example - Yesterday I had an allergy attack that left my face as if I had fought 16 rounds with Mike Tyson. So now I walk around the city with people staring at me and ambulances shrieking beside me offering to help me. Fuck it, I'll go rest.
And then there is all those Dyango Reinhardt records you suddenly take a liking. And there you sit shaking your head (that’s as much shaking you will ever do from now on) thinking about stuff. From Metallica to Reinhardt in a matter of days...Jesus!
So the bottom line is that one day you are jumping, jogging and practicing extreme sports before breakfast and the next you need a nap after sending a two page fax.
There is no way out of this crawling decrepitude and it is better if you take it with a smile.
Talking about smiles, a thing happened yesterday that put a smile in my face - Mr. Obama received the Dalai Lama in the white house.
Ok, I know that Mr. Barrack is not, yet, turning to be what we all expected. We also know that the Nobel Peace Prize was merely a Swedish brown nosing into the US social groups, trying to look as cool as Obama looks. Cause you gotta admit it - he is cool.
What made me smile is that Mr. Obama, against all considerations from his economic advisory groups, which warned him not to piss off the Chinese, especially when they own 70% of the country, still brought Tenzin Gyatso in and allowed the media to see them together chatting and sharing spiritual information. Way to go brother!! Now go lick some yellow ass!
Yes I am excited about this. Another sign of growing old is you get excited just about anything. Things start happening so slow now that if it rains you jump out of your chez lounge and start writing about it, forgetting your fake teeth in the water glass beside the bed. You start reading the labels of food. Not just reading them, but rather studying them carefully looking for any ingredient that will make you spend more time in the bathroom. Because god knows you spend enough time sitting there reading War and Peace waiting for your sphincters to make up their mind.
Hey, by the way, what happened to Haiti? Is it still there? Are they already living in luxury condos with acclimatized pools and free 24-hour open buffets? I know that with all the money collected every Haitian should be living in a penthouse in 5th avenue.
Oh, yes that’s right, I forgot, we no longer care about Haiti, it's old news and it doesn´t matter that there is no one controlling the flux of food and money in the country and that they still haven’t decided who will run the gig from now on. They are probably too busy giving away expired chicken salad sandwiches.
I came to think about Haiti the other day. And came with the solution.
The definite solution; How about France gives back the 15.000 million Euros it charged the Haiti government in exchange for its independence back in the 19th century which sunk the nation into a spiral of poverty that has not yet ended. How about Mr. Bruni relief’s the nation from the billions of debt contracted by the Papa-Baby Doc team? Hey don’t mind me I am just old and spend a lot of time sitting thinking about stuff. But I am sure I am not too off the track here.
Now if you excuse me, I have some sitting to do. Maybe we all should.

Allied thoughts

2010-02-10T12:34:00.004+01:00

¨Before I start allow me to remind you all that Howard Zinn died a few days ago, and even if you don´t read this piece of news anywhere, he was one of the most important historians, activist and thinker of our time. Rest in peace Howard, may you find fairness in your trip¨.

Here I go again bitching about things most people don’t even think about. The news today said that, in Afghanistan, another terrorist attack took place in a god forsaken village killing 35 and wounding a shit load of people - Nothing wrong with this except for the word terrorist.

Somehow we tend to forget we are at war, and in war shit happens. Now why do we call it Terrorist attack? Simple, this way we condition the masses to overlook the atrocities we are committing in foreign lands. And labeling it a terrorist attack puts us in the position of victims of indiscriminate violence, as if we were just passing by and someone decided to throw a bomb at us. Don’t let them fool you, every time you read such news, remember - we invaded their countries.

If you have two working neurons you will easily see the manipulation behind all this pseudo information. We are always right, we always do the right thing and we are always the victims. Here is a piece of information you may not know about; So far in Iraq and Afghanistan 35,000 people have been killed in what the allied (I love this word) forces called collateral damages. Out of those 35K, the UN and Amnesty international agree that less than 1% may, MAY, have been linked to Al-Quaeda. So there you go. If my son, daughter, mother, father or anyone of my loved ones fell into this collateral damages group, I would be the first one to blow some motherfuckers up big time, even if that meant disintegrating myself. So don’t attribute this only to the fact that they believe that some virgins are waiting for them somewhere, it is also a matter of deep pain and unfairness.

The cost of this invasion (they call it war, but it is an invasion) is so crazy I have to have a Cuba Libre to start understanding it. Here is the official web site http://costofwar.com/.

Are you surprised we are going through a crisis? Could you imagine spending all this money in good things? Take a look at it, it is such a crazy amount, the worlds problems could be solved in a jiffy with a fraction of this amount. And here is what drives me crazy. During this economic crisis we are going through, we have financed all the bloodsuckers and speculators with our hard earned money. We have given them millions to get the economy back together after they screwed it up with their uncontrolled greed. We forgave them for that and gave them our money in the hope that they would mend their mistakes and make things better. Once you stop laughing I will continue…are you through? Not yet? Ok, I’ll wait…Now? Ok, cool. And here is the situation today. We have emptied our government vaults with wars and economic revivals and now these fuckers not only haven’t solved a thing, but are now cutting our pensions, reducing social benefits, collecting tax exemptions and sending us all to the unemployment offices to cash in ridiculous amounts.

The world as we knew it is over my friends, we are now living the last days of pseudo prosperity and wellbeing. It is a fact that the world cannot handle this rhythm of living and a change is way over due. But here is the thing, don’t expect these changes to come from our governments or financial gurus, these will always work in their own benefit no matter how much the word democracy is used.

Changes will come from us, we need to understand that if we make 1000€ a month, there is no way we can afford a 300,000€ home. We need to grasp on the knowledge that we are not alone in this planet and that which we find normal and ethical may not be so elsewhere and learn to lie with it, rather than send in our troops to impose our way of thinking to a group of people we know noting about. We need to wake up and end this bullshit.

Lessons

2010-01-18T21:32:00.003+01:00

What it is with money that we tend to believe that it will solve anything? Africa is flooded with money every year and poverty levels have plummeted ever since money started pouring in. 2000 million were giving by the US and EU to the victims of the Pacific Tsunami and you may have forgotten about them, take a look, they are still trying to dry out.

Haiti is the new victim. 6 days have gone by since the shake and already 500 million dollars have poured in the country. However, nothing has changed nor will change, first of all because without any proper logistics all the money in the world is worth shit. Second because we are, again, depending on UN Blue Helmets who are nothing but legal mercenaries pissed off for being sent to fucked up nations and couldn’t care less about the locals. And since we are at it, allow me to ask you what has the UN solved in their 70 plus years of existence. All it statutes are violated daily in many places, all of the beautiful Rights of Children are ignored and no one does nothing. Hunger, wars, despotism, corruption, genocide – you name it, everything is happening everywhere and nothing is done. So fuck the UN, fuck the donations and fuck pseudo solidarity. We cannot demand justice when we ourselves practice injustice by allowing one sole child to die of hunger. By demanding fairness for ourselves even if that includes sticking our finger up someone’s ass. (See globalization, free market, subsidies etc.) If anything, Haiti will teach us a lesson. We cannot ignore them and then pretend we care for them. NO WE CAN’T.

Country code: 01

2010-01-16T11:25:00.004+01:00

Haiti has no petrol. No gas, no wood, no fancy beaches, no resources whatsoever. This is not due to the recent earthquake; Haiti has never had resources. That is why the international community has left them on their own for years. That is why we have allowed Papa Doc, Baby Doc and the entire Duvalier dynasty eat the country alive with no control. No wonder they took to vodoo, no one else would listen to them.

This Caribbean nation has been left alone to rot for decades. Even their neighbors, Dominican Republic, has ignored them to the point that crossing the border from one to the other is like getting beamed up to another dimension.

This side of the Hispaniola has suffered without precedent every single kind of hell we can imagine… And now the earthquake. And you tell me there is God...Get the hell out of my face.

It is clear from the images we receive that chaos and anarchy have installed in the island. The army is nowhere to be seen. The police force is non-existent - all means of authority is lacking. Thus the crime, the rampages to get the food, the attacks of food reserves, the rotting of the bodies lying on the streets under a 40 degree sun and the hundreds (thousands) still buried under tons of rubble. Thus, the End of Haiti as we know it.

This may not be a bad thing after all. Without trying to say that I see a positive side to this human catastrophe. This is a chance for the global community to take over the nation. It may be the first real Humanitarian Invasion in human history - They need it, they are desperate for it. We owe it them. Hell we have invaded nations for much less than this.

Obama, my man, make this your moment of Zen and take over Haiti just as your country did in Puerto Rico and Hawaii, appropiate this side of the island and make it the 52^nd state. Give them the 01 country code and give Haitians the one and only chance of survival.

Make them American citizens. They will fight in Iraq and Afghanistan for you happier and more efficient than any redneck from Mississippi or Missouri. You owe it to them brother. This is your chance to redeem 911, the opportunity to make us all believe that Yes, you can!!

*As I write this I hear on the news that the US is sending 10,000 troops to control the area. Good one Barack. You da man!!!

Moving

2010-01-06T17:37:00.004+01:00

Hello from the land of good people, Mozambique. I arrived today, leaving behind one the coldest winters ever experienced in Europe to enjoy one the worst summers in the southern Hemisphere. I am going through a sort of Pasteurization process. As the cold shimmers out of my body and the heat curdles my blood, I set my bones horizontally for the first time in 24 hours. Ahhh! It feels good. It is a bitch that traveling has become such a hassle.

Ok, I agree, it has become affordable and available to the masses, but this is precisely the problem. It used to be that moving from one place to another was an exciting and adventurous endeavor, you felt special. Today it is little more than cattle transportation.

Indeed, traveling is not what it used to be. Not too long ago deciding to take a trip implied months of planning and as much time of conscientious savings, but once the decision was made, all you had to do was to go to the airport, get on the plane, and smoke your way through the friendly skies. How many of you remember the time when you could smoke on board? Smoking was so common and globally accepted, moreover, it was essential to the point that the first thing the pilot did before giving you any instructions was tell you that you could light up. Ahh, the good old days!!

Customs agents’ duties were to remind you that it was not entirely advisable to carry guns and bombs on a plane, and to make sure you had enough cigarettes to smoke during your flight; whereas today, you are one wrong look away from the body cavity check from hell. Unless you wanna know how it feels to have your prostate examined by Captain Hook, smile and look casual.

I hate flying; even when flying was comfortable and easy I hated it. I cannot understand the dynamics of it, no matter how many times you explain it to me using easy to understand physics. It is not logical for a 300-ton piece of metal to lift off the ground and fly. Here is an experiment you can do right now; - get whatever is closer to you, an eraser, a pen, your convalescent grandmother and lift it over your head. Let it drop and tell me if it follows any physic law other than falling straight to the ground. You see my point.

It’s not only the plane that I hate, it’s the whole procedure involved prior to flying. The packing, the organizing, the carry-on luggage, the ridiculously high prices at airports, the stiffness of pilots and flight attendants – Ohh!! and let me tell you something here, I don’t care how cool they look and how much power they think they have, flight attendants are nothing more than regular waiters who work on a plane, so don’t get fooled by their arrogance. Just tell them to get you a beer once they finished all the crosschecks and passenger counts.

But as the saying goes, don’t buy fireworks from a three-fingered man, you are in their hands and must do as they say unless you wanna spend some pretty long time sleeping with goat-lover Mohammed El-Longo at Guantánamo free room and board resort.

I hate those fuckers of Al-Quaeda. Not for their ideology or anything of the sort - if they want to think that happiness is making your wife as sexy as a boiled cabbage and their idea of heaven is blowing themselves to pieces together with some innocent passerbys, it’s their problem. I hate them for having spoiled the fun of flying for all of us. Ok, I object to their killing innocents and having as much brains as protozoa, but the worst of it is that thanks to them every time we have to travel we are stripped of our clothes, passed through radioactive X-ray machines, and forced to repeat once and again that yes, we packed our own shit.

On my way through customs in Barcelona, the agents were giving an 80-year old woman the third-degree check because she was carrying more than 100 ml of some denture paste in her purse. From what I could hear she had reacted with a smart remark, which immediately changed her status from sweet old lady to ¨you’ll be our bitch for the rest of the day¨ . The last I saw of her she was holding her pants with both hands (they made her strip off her belt), wearing no shoes and being taunted with metal detectors going beep beep beep at every stroke. I bet she is still there wishing she had drunk the denture paste.

To this sort of abuse, you have to add the arguments with stressed out attendants and the endless lines to finally get in the plane, where the meager cash you paid gets you what Thomas of Aquinas would consider as… a bit too harsh. People being tortured in the Middle Ages had more legroom than passengers in your average plane today.

Today, in Europe, we enjoy the benefits of Low cost airlines. I say benefits because you cannot call them cattle travel. If in transoceanic flights you feel uncomfortable on low cost flights there is no room for being uncomfortable, you are too busy trying not to involuntarily re-arrange the front passengers’ hairstyle. No wonder they don’t give you drinks, you’d have to lay the glass on the fronts’ passenger bald spot and that will make your beverage warm quickly.

Talking about warming up, I have done enough photosynthesis for today, but before I leave take this from me, if you take denture paste in your carry on luggage, drink it before crossing customs. See ya!!

Blasphemy

2010-01-05T10:37:00.009+01:00

Ok, this is too easy. On July 2009 Ireland approved an anti blasphemy law that has taken effect this month. The law says that anyone who writes or publishes, by any means, words that may offend any religious creed will be fined with up to 25.000€. See link http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/01/02/ireland.blasphemy.law/index.html

You must also read this list of quotations by famous people listed by Atheist Ireland, probably the only people with brains in the island.

http://www.atheist.ie/

Well, if I lived in Ireland I couldn’t call them rapists, liars, bullshitters and/or murderers. But, I don’t live in Ireland otherwise the chances of me being raped by a homosexual priest as a kid would be very high. You see, in Ireland I can no longer say that religion is bull shit or that people with religious beliefs should stay at home and flagellate themselves as much as they can without interfering in my free thinking and my freedom to express it. So shame on Ireland and their false religion, but if they insist on hanging on to it, let it stay there and good luck.
In other related news, I heard that the Pope gave Christmas mass two hours before midnight on account of his fragile health. Well, how convenient to the lady who jumped on top of him and knocked him off like a raggedy doll (boy did you see her tackle the man!). This proves once again that the pope, what wearing the fisherman’s sandals (Italian, 1800€) and who knows what else paraphernalia, can do whatever he wants with tradition because godammit, he is the pope and that’s it. -Fuck the rest of the world, I don’t feel well and we are doing it at my convenience so I can later watch the Christmas special on TV-. I hope the trauma will pay him back for all the deaths he facilitated with his comments in Angola about condoms.
Now follow my logic of thinking. Something very wrong is happening in the world; somehow a lot of people are in very deep need of exposing their beliefs and to impose them on to others by any means. I for one would forbid any sort of religion outside your own home. But there are a lot of people who take this matter very seriously.
If you don’t believe me, take a look at the Middle East. Because of one mentally retarded US president we are all now in the midst of world destruction. We have allowed extremists from both sides to control our daily lives. We fear them, we invade countries to seek them, and we don’t find them because they are everywhere, planning to hurt us really bad. It is just a matter of time before they do and we can’t but blame ourselves for not acting as civilized beings when we had the opportunity. Rather than ask the proper questions, instead of sitting down and re-thinking what could have gone wrong about 911, a whole nation vowed to retaliate, under the command of one newly born Christian with shit for brains. Are we simply loosing our neurons one by one? What the hell is wrong with us? Can we add 1 + 1? Can wee see that this economic crisis may be, may be!!, linked to two wars going on in the Middle East?
People get your heads out of your asses and see the truth. We have allowed a group of religious bastards control our world and now only a freaking miracle can turn this around. We can make this miracle happen, and for it you don’t have to go to church, Mosque or synagogue to ask your religious leaders for support. The miracle that we need does not come from an invisible ranting god or from any scripture written in the Bronze Age by some guys’ gone crazy by the sun for being in the desert too long. No, the answer is common sense. Common sense that this situation is going to take us to places we don’t want to be. To understand that life is more important than beliefs and that beliefs will get you in trouble. Don’t let anyone decide for you, do not allow any nations, any group or individual to tell you what to do, say or wear.
Jesus, Muhammed, Buddha, Yahve would not agree to what we are doing; killing, hurting, destroying. Their message was of peace, love and tolerance and if you don’t believe this, they are waiting for you in Ireland.

Quantum leap

2009-12-26T15:37:00.005+01:00

If I were to tell you that Maputo has grown over 340% in the last six months you´d probably advise me to stick to my medication or even to double it. But I assure it is true. The massive arrival of peasants and foreigners have made Maputo the newest boomtown in Africa. As the rest of the nation simply has dissapeared from politicians agenda, the capital has grown exponentially without control. The chaos created from this is unprecedented. Maputo, a city constructed 300 years ago with horses in mind is now flooded with SUVs, governemnt cars and vehicles of all sort. For those who had lived here before, try understanding that it took me 45 minutes to get from Hotel Polana to COOP. I am talking no more that 15 blocks away.
Traffic has grown to epic proportions. Whereas a few years ago you would find yourself alone driving in the city streets, today you are better off walking anywhere in the city. Not only traffic has grown, potholes are also a growing industry in town. Some roads are simply left to tractors, major SUVs and pedestrians, and even pedestrians are know to dissapear among the craters in the sidewalks. Local authorities have come up with the idea that stop signs would solve part of the problem. They installed stop signs in every major crossing in town making the Chaos in Mumbai look like a stroll around the park.
It is crazy let me tell you.
There is one thing, though, I hope it never changes. The name of the streets. Get a load of this,- I live near the crossing between, Kim Il sung street with Mao Tse Tung. Two roads up my place is Vladimir Lenin Avenue and this one meets Pratice Numumba road and leads to Karl Marx Ave, which crosses Frederic Engels street a few blockas away. There is a Salvador Allende Avenue, a Kenneth Kaunda road, Ahmed Sekou Toure street and other communist leaders.
During the communist years, they changed the portuguese named streets into communist leaders and left it even when the times changed. I find this to be super interesting. As far as I know it may be the last place on earth (with the exception of North Korea) where Kim Il Sung is praised with a whole main avenue. Hell they even inagurated a Robert Mugabe Square with a nice statue of the guy looking solemnly towards de ocean.
Maputo is today the Meca of money in Africa. Corruption here is so established that the regular way of doing things (legally) is dying at an alrming rate. There is so little you can do by legal means, every transaction, organization, business and/or purchase involves some kind of under the table situation. For example, I recently visited Ponta´douro. While there I came across the idea of maybe selling everything I owe in Barcelona and go live there, opening a business and just becoming a beach bum for the rest of my life(wishful thinking). Well, asking around I discovered it is impossible to know to which community does Ponta belong, no one could point me to which court house I should go to make any inquiery about what I may need to move here. I did find out, though, who rules the area and who decides wether you are welcome or not. I have heard that many people come here with the geniune idea of settling down with a great idea for a business that will surely aid the local community, and get support from the local authorities in their business making them feel confortable and welcome, however when they have spent all the money and got things working they simply kick them out with some visa technicallity and keep their stuff. The most common story you will hear here is how they allowed foreigner to buy a property, legally, give him all the permissions to reconstruct the house and when it is done, some guy with some very legal documents saying this house belongs to him appears at your doorstep leaving you no choice but to gather your stuff really fast and wish him a happy stay and show him how the Jacuzzi works. In this case you have the choice to sue, but as you imagine very few people chose this method. Suing here can mean you can not leave the country until the case is settled which ussually (always) takes 5 to 10 years if you´re lucky and then the chances of being thrown in jail for disputing a legal document are pretty high….so shut up, swallow your anger and get the fuck out of here quickly. There is nothing you can do about it. These situations are not exceptional cases rather the common procedure.
This of course creates a terrible future for Mozambique. Few investors come and those who do are so corrupted and greedy that nothing works as it should be. To make a long story short you have to walk without stepping in someones toes. Which is becoming more and more difficult.
It is a matter of time before all this vices go away. These appear simply because the powers that be have been in power for too long and are now solidified into a position of semi god. But it is a land of good people, with new ideas. A land that has not given its last word – actually, it has not yet spoken. Africa is not poor, it has been impoverished.

Heretics

2009-12-16T13:17:00.007+01:00

Hey, I can see millions of lights hanging from about everywhere contaminating the atmosphere and wasting excessive amounts of energy. I hear that in order to feed all the Christmas lighting in the US alone 3 nuclear plants are needed just to do so. Do these people ever heard about the Copenhaguen submit, Kyoto, Rio de Janeiro? Ahh, fuck it. I'ts an all American trditions and if we have to burn the Amazon basin to impress the neighbors, hell, we´ll do it with our can do American attittude. It must be Christmas time again.
People are buying like it’s the end of the world. To go downtown these days is to join a crusade against thousands of people running around with bags and boxes and weary eyes, stressed out and not looking happy at all no matter what their economic accessibility is.
I know of parents who are completely lost when it comes to their kids’ presents. The kids in question have everything, PS3, PC in their room, fancy cell phones, cable TV, cloths, bikes, music, games…they have everything, so I guess the next step would be to give them an airplane, but even that will not make them happy, trust me.
Christmas. What a concept. What a manipulation of the masses, to make them believe that at this time is when we share, spend time with loved ones and become empathetic with our keens problems. So what happens the rest of the year? -We´re too busy, call in sometime around December and we´ll talk. We follow traditions here, goddamit!!
It is all Religions fault. Religion has been telling us lies. Allow me to explain and put away that gun.
We call ourselves Christians and demand to be respected for it and I say there is not one true Christian on earth…not one. I dare you.
First of all what we today know as Christianity is nothing more than a paranoid trip of a man called St. Paul. He is the father of the church and the guy who said what was to be done. So we are not Christians but Paulists. To be accurate, we follow what a bunch of guys in Nice organized under the command of Roman King Constantine who in order to save the little of the Roman Empire that was left created Christianity, but I’ll let you do your own inquiries about the matter.
For youthe Christian I have a couple of questions. Which of Jesus precepts do you follow? I guarantee not one. Here is an example - Jesus said if someone hits you, you must turn the other cheek. I bet if I slapped you, you will slap me back stronger and probably kick my face in the dirt and brag about how no one fucks with you. Am I wrong? -Didn't think so!
Another of Jesus great precepts is that, in order to be happy you must sell everything you posses and give it the poor. Should I say more about this one? And how about the one don’t judge unless you want to be judged? Or don’t give your back to the needed or any other of his famous sayings. There is not one of these precepts anyone follows, not one.
We insult Jesus by calling ourselves Christians, by wearing crosses and by sanctifying his death and suffering when his true message was his life not his death. We surround him with miracles – virgin mother, magic powers, and resurrection, walking on water and much more so as to forget his humanity. We (or should I say the church?) attribute such things to Jesus in order to create a father figure which is out of our reach when in truth he was a mere man with strong ideas and stronger convictions. I couldn’t careless if he could fly, turn water into wine, or pee through his nostril, I don’t care. What I do care is the example of true humanity he gave us.
I laugh at the people with stigmata’s. I laugh with shameless laughter and mock them with sincere ruthlessness because apart from it being a true lie, it is such a wrong message of suffering; it is a crime to think that Jesus wants us to suffer. Go bleed in hell.
Hell, another concept that drives me crazy. Hell has been so present in St. Paul’s paranoia that religious men used it to baptize Indian kids seconds before blowing their heads off, saving them from hell. Burned millions of women to save them from hell, tortured, maimed, humiliate , manipulate, scare and killed millions to save them from hell. Well, how kind of you, thank you.
Rather than choose the real Jesus, we let manipulators, clerics and authorities to give us their interpretation on his words. Hell, we don’t even know his exact date of birth but we continue to celebrate it on the 24th of December. That’s how lost we are.
Interpretations, that’s a good one, who are these fuckers to interpret the word of God? Who gave them authority to know what God meant? How are we stupid enough to even listen to one word of these liars, murderers, exploiters, thieves and rapists? - People who have killed in the name of one of the most humble peaceful men who ever existed. People who have said - In the name of Jesus – seconds before killing a child. You must be kidding me.
Morals. Whooow that’s a strong word. Let me see if I get this straight…I am supposed to take the moral lesson from an organization that has misinterpreted every word, manipulated us to the limit and profited from just about every move we make? I am supposed to act morally following examples from people who rape children, diminish women and think sex is a sin? I don’t think so.
In any case, the church tells us that morals are the way to happiness, which, in my humble opinion, is exactly the contrary. Morals have nothing to do with happiness; they have to do with behaviors and respect. Happiness is a whole different issue, which they keep us away from with their morals.

Take this message from me. Next time you see a hungry person take him home and give him everything he needs without questioning him at all. Cry every day, every hour, every minute because millions of children are dying of hunger and sickness. Take every penny you will spend in Useless Christmas presents and give it to the first hobo you see around. Go to the streets and demand all wars are over and end the suffering. Allow yourself to be happy. That is what a true Christian would do.
It is my opinion that the moment we get God out of our heads and lives and get him in our hearts allowing it to grow and evolve into the creation of a new man or woman who will not admit any injustice, who will take into solving the worlds problems forgetting his or hers own benefits and comforts - only then will we be allowed to understand Jesus. But as for today we keep him away carrying crosses and celebrating Easter reinforcing the fact that we have learned nothing. Moreover, with these attittudes we send the message that we are not eager to learn at all. Forget Church, forget preachers, forget mediocre celebrations and stop thinking we can interpret the word of one of the greatest men who lever lived, His message was pretty simple, you need no clerig, no bishop no old fart Pope to tell you what he meant. Look into your heart and see for yourself. Lets be humble and understand that we are far behind from it and then, only then, will we begin to glimpse at true happiness. Merry Christmas everyone.

No news in good news

2009-12-14T11:23:00.003+01:00

Good morning every one, I am Mike Jamboree and these are the headlines news…..Music, images, cut scene….back to you Mike in three, two, one……

Hello everyone, I am Mike Jamboree and in today’s headlines President Obama has returned from Oslo where the Nobel Committee granted him the peace prize, in his first activity back in the US Obama waved goodbye to the 30,000 troops on their way to Afghanistan - go in peace you dumb mohterfuckers were his words...……BOOM! What the hell was that? Anyways, in other news, Chile elects a new president today. Many Chilean citizens are skeptical of the candidates who look like they just arrived from a Pinochet lookalike contest; Thousands of left wing Chileans are lining up in Scandinavians embassies in case shit happens. …..BOOOOOM!! – Jesus Christ!! Can anyone tell those Iraqis to stop this nonsense; I am trying to work here!!!

A new achievement in Copenhagen submit specifies that developed nations will give developing nations credits for up to 25 billion $US to fight global warming and are still working on the payment plans. African nations complain that……BOOOOMMMMM!! Holly molly!!!

Outside, in the streets of Copenhagen, thousands of protesters dance and sing to the rhythm of drums and trumpets waving green flags and blue balloons, passers bys think it is an early Gay pride celebration and join in the dancing at which point they are informed of the true nature of the march so they leave with a good hardy laugh as the police arrive, sticks in hand and with orders to arrest anyone without a shirt, half of Copenhagen spends the night at the police station……ssssshhhhhhhhh…KABOOOOOOOM!!

Tiger Woods in the news again. As more and more black kids show up at exclusive golf clubs and shoot holes in one, Tigers’ credibility of fidelity is questioned. Mr. Woods refuses to clarify the situation on account of him being too busy signing checks to blondes all over the world. The white communities in golf clubs celebrate with exploding champain corks and caviar they can start winning again as Iraqis run around exploding like popcorn, making the handicaps harder and harder, but who cares, Whites can start winning again…KAKAKABOOOOOOM!!

Heartthrob Leonardo Dicaprio concerned with global warming and wildlife has worked together with Swiss watchmaker Tag Heuer to create the first ecological wrist watch. According to Mr. Heartbreaker this watch will help protect and avoid pollution. The price of the watch is 2500€. Leo urges people to throw away their 25€ imitation CASIO watches and hurry to the nearest jewerly shop and get right on helping the worlds climate. Good one Leo.

Breaking News…..Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi has been attacked by a man in Milan. Kaboooom!!.....Mr. O Sole Mio was saluting the masses outside his car when a middle aged man approached and hit him in the face with a souvenir statue splitting his upper lip, cuting his cheek and breaking a couple of teeth. Kaboooommm!! People in Italy are furious of the attack and go the streets to complain about the insecurity on Milans streets and how come not one of the efficient murderes in the city was able to blow his head off. In the meantime Plastic surgeons pill up fighting each other to take Mr. La donna e mobile into their cutting tables.

And these are todays……BOOOOOM…- Holly mother of mercy!! Do you think we should mention Iraq? Cause this is getting too close to comfort………ALHAAAAA.....KABOOOOM!!!!!!!

Sitting

2009-12-11T23:16:00.008+01:00

I will let you in a little secret. I pee sitting down. The reasons are many. First of all because it is one more opportunity to read a couple of pages of Kant, Russell or Kierkegaard, Believe you me, the only way to bear with these guys is while sitting down doing number on or number two, relaxing sphincters and draining your body of ugly things. Another important reason why I adopt the less than macho position is because of an ugly habit I have to drain the toilet way before I am done, as if listening the water fall would give me a greater sense of relief, thus when I am actually done I flush again wasting twice as much water as normal pee.

This came to mind because looking through my old pics I found a series of images I took in India. You may not know this, but toilets in India are something to think about.

There are two ways to travel through India: The comfortable way and the Indian way. Of course I took the Indian way, I found it to be funnier and more exciting although I admit that at times I wished I had taken the comfy way, specially after 24 hours in a bus through hair raising curves with kamikaze drivers and just about anything you can think of crossing the roads, but overall it was the best option. Just to let you in the kind of hotels I slept in, I never paid more than 2€ a night. In many cases the fee was 5€ a week. So, my point is, if you pay such an insignificant fee you can expect Indian style toilets and, of course, shared with a wide variety of human fauna that will let you wish for soap on a rope during every shower. Actually, I developed a back to the wall technique that kept my vulnerable areas away from the eyes of well hung Hindis (oh yes) and always had a conversation at hand to get their minds off the whiteys´ butt. Once every two weeks or so I treated myself to a room with a private bathroom and enjoy the tranquility of a worry-free shower.

Well, sorry I keep going astray from the main issue, toilets. As I said, Indian toilets are little more than a hole in the ground in front of which you squat and let yourself go. I had problems with this. My main problem was embarrassment. If you think that when you are in a normal sit down toilet and someone opens the door and sees you there could be embarrassing, try thinking of someone bumping in while you practice some sort of anal equilibrium trying to aim properly holding yourself to the walls. Believe you me, you do not want to be seen in such position; - This is a situation in which the only way out is suicide or retire to a cave in the top of the Himalayas.

So, how to deal with these situations without having to slice your veins or jump of a bridge with your pants down and a Lincoln log hanging from your behind? The solution is, probably, openness to he idiosyncrasies of such cultures or collecting as much information as possible so as not to make an ass of yourself the way we make them feel when they come over because lets face it, it is easy to fit when you visit but it may not be easy to accept when they come over.

The problem with this is that we have not yet resolved what to do when a member of another culture, whose life and costumes we have learned to respect comes to live next door. I am tired of hearing people bragging about their openness and acceptance of other cultures and then complain that their kids have to go school with girls wearing Burkas or that the Chinese work too hard and take the few remaining jobs from the locals. I read an article today about Africans living in China (??) and how the Chinese see them. I knew the Chinese were not exactly tolerant toward other cultures, but in the case of Africans the Chinese make the KKK look like a humanitarian association. And the question arises…what the fuck are Africans doing in China? - Selling drugs and organizing prostitution. At least that’s the excuse the Chinese authorities gave for throwing them by the hundreds in jail. I bet there are no Chinese anthropologists in Africa.

Anthropologists owe us so many explanations on far away cultures and traditions but most of all they are short of letting us know how foreign cultures feel about us. Most of their theories and conclusions are based on what we think about them using our own parameters. They can tell us that a tribe in New Guinea has been eating their dead for centuries but I fail to see in which way does this helps understanding them better or what to do when they come to live next door and one of our kids is missing. Or them understanding us, who take dogs for walks and disconnect from the rest of society by way of earphones.

It is a matter of parameters and until we gather enough perspective from which to judge other cultures we can’t but sit and act like a chameleon in a box of smarties or (as ussual) take over and change their habits. I would start by changing their toilets.

Numb3rs

2009-12-10T00:02:00.005+01:00

Most people that know me will tell you, I sincerely hope so, that I am a man with a lot information. I know a little about a lot and I find it very easy to fall into a conversation with enough knowledge of the material to keep it interesting for a few hours. I read my butt off. I have an average of one book a week and in between I read magazines, newspapers and mostly anything I can get my hands on. If only my brain could retain 10% of what I read, the guys in Oslo would by now have issued many golden statuettes (or whatever it is that represents the Nobel prize, I do care about the check, they can keep the statuette.) in my name. They´d be UPSing them directly to me.

Anyways, written word is my passion and strength.

But when it comes to numbers I am three channels short of basic cable.

Moreover, if you want your business to shut down in a matter of weeks, no, sorry, days for some insurance fraud or death wish you might have, call me in as your accountant. I promise you it will be downhill from that moment on. Certified. Sure as two plus two equal…four, your business will end up floating like a dead fish sooner than you can say what the….!

One example is balancing my own account. Oh lord. You can come to me at any time during the month and ask me about my balance and as a response all you will get is a blank stare and my need to get out of there soon. I hate numbers and numbers hate me. Spreadsheets, calculations, checks and balances are not only my worst enemy but also have provided some very savory moments in my life. Like the time in College when my statistics teacher managed to convince me that there was a hidden math genius within and that with the proper training I could become a little Einstein. And, go figure, I believed it. I quickly enrolled in calculus 101. Five minutes later, I was at the registry office finding out what other course I could take instead. I took gym.

I seem not to be the only one around having trouble with numbers. There is a whole bunch of professionals whose life depends on numbers always going up, and if they don’t the government (us) will come to their rescue with our money and keep their hands off the fire. This same people when the tide is down and start collecting benefits again don’t seem to remember they owe us. I wonder what will the people do when another crisis comes our way and they ask for more money.

In spite of all the recklessness in my economic life two banks have chosen to give me two new Credit Cards. So now my credit rate is out the roof. I can buy a car if I chose to. The philosophy behind banks is that this economic crisis will be over the moment we start spending again. Well hell, they make it easy for me to spend. Paying back will be a whole new story, but spending it is my specialty.

Mine is a whole nation with math's issues. Spain is still so deep in the economic crisis we can hardly see what’s going on from the shit covering our eyes but still they insist that we spend as much as we can. They must think we are dumb.....oh look at the lines in the shops....look at the frenzy christmas shopping, look at all the gadgets experiencing record sales, - we are stupid. we are making them richer and sinking into thick mouldy crap. Now, this is something I cannot, for my life, understand. I do see that spending is a way to stimulate the economy, but it seems more like putting out fire with gasoline. We are only trying to maintain a system that didn’t work in the first place. It’s like insisting on chemotherapy when you know you won’t last more than three weeks.

I won´t go into the rhetoric of injustices within this mentality, but I will mention that in spite of our crisis we are all in need of math’s lessons. It does not take an Einstein to see that we are heading to a mega catastrophe and that we let a golden opportunity go by. A chance to create a brotherhood with developing nations, to plan ahead in a new direction a new plan that would let us all, no exceptions, to explore space, cyberspace and in all directions together as one world, one people, one big happy family. But for now let me go collaborate with the nations suicide.

EZLN. Manifiesto Zapatista en Náhuatl

2009-12-07T18:54:00.003+01:00

Al pueblo de México:
A los pueblos y gobiernos del mundo:

Hermanos:
No morirá la flor de la palabra. Podrá morir el rostro oculto de quien la nombra hoy, pero la palabra que vino desde el fondo de la historia y de la tierra ya no podrá ser arrancada por la soberbia del poder.

Nosotros nacimos de la noche. En ella vivimos. Moriremos en ella. Pero la luz será mañana para los más, para todos aquellos que hoy lloran la noche, para quienes se niega el día, para quienes es regalo la muerte, para quienes está prohibida la vida. Para todos la luz. Para todos todo. Para nosotros el dolor y la angustia, para nosotros la alegre rebeldía, para nosotros el futuro negado, para nosotros la dignidad insurrecta. Para nosotros nada.

Nuestra lucha es por hacernos escuchar, y el mal gobierno grita soberbia y tapa con cañones sus oídos.

Nuestra lucha es por el hambre, y el mal gobierno regala plomo y papel a los estómagos de nuestros hijos.

Nuestra lucha es por un techo digno, y el mal gobierno destruye nuestra casa y nuestra historia.

Nuestra lucha es por el saber, y el mal gobierno reparte ignorancia y desprecio.

Nuestra lucha es por la tierra, y el mal gobierno ofrece cementerios.

Nuestra lucha es por un trabajo justo y digno, y el mal gobierno compra y vende cuerpos y vergenzas.

Nuestra lucha es por la vida, y el mal gobierno oferta muerte como futuro.

Nuestra lucha es por el respeto a nuestro derecho a gobernar y gobernarnos, y el mal gobierno impone a los más la ley de los menos.

Nuestra lucha es por la libertad para el pensamiento y el caminar, y el mal gobierno pone cárceles y tumbas.

Nuestra lucha es por la justicia, y el mal gobierno se llena de criminales y asesinos.

Nuestra lucha es por la historia, y el mal gobierno propone olvido.

Nuestra lucha es por la Patria, y el mal gobierno sueña con la bandera y la lengua extranjeras.

Nuestra lucha es por la paz, y el mal gobierno anuncia guerra y destrucción.

Techo, tierra, trabajo, pan, salud, educación, independencia, democracia, libertad, justicia y paz. Estas fueron nuestras banderas en la madrugada de 1994. Estas fueron nuestras demandas en la larga noche de los 500 años. Estas son, hoy, nuestras exigencias.

Slap

2009-11-24T13:31:00.006+01:00

Well, I knew all my anti-North Americanism would come back one way or another. First of all allow me to specify my sentiments on this issue before you all pro- North Americans start joining the NRA and posting me on the most wanted list. If I have, and I for sure have, raged about how stupid, arrogant and bullies Americans tend to be, I assumed everyone understood that I meant as a society, as an empire spreading their democratic values when there is nothing in their history, I repeat, nothing that proves them right. US history is plagued with murder, lies, deceit, swindles, occupations, torture, theft, despotism…uff I am tired of writing. Anyway, the list is enormous. It would be easier to say the positive things, the list would be much shorter and it would contain one sole mention; WWII and even that could be seriously argued. However I am not stupid nor cynical, I know a lot of cool US citizens and I know that individually they may be the most awesome people on earth. Here is a list of my favorite US icons, Groucho Marx, Woody Allen, Eddie Vedder, Lou Reed, The Boss, Obama ( however credit I give the US for electing him, the results were not due to his charisma or political ideas rather that he was competing against a old fart crippled Vietnam veteran with as much personality as a cabbage), Peter Griffin and of course Homer Simpson, Charles Manson and Robert McNamara, no sorry tilt those two last ones I was reading from a different list. So, this cleared up, please put your 44 magnums away and keep reading.

Anyways, it seems that Karma works in mysterious ways because recently I have chosen to change my lifestyle and dedicate my meager efforts to teach English abroad and thus I have enrolled in a TEFL course that, in theory would give me the necessary tools to put myself to the task. And this it did. However when it comes to job seeking it appears to be that they only hire people born in English speaking languages. So it seems not to matter how good your level of English is, if you don’t posses a Common Wealth or US passport you are out of the game. And of course I don’t posses such document - so life is getting even with me. I should have listened to the Dalai Lama when he said retaliation is a means of life compensation. No, I just made that up, but it sounds like something he would say in case he had to teach English for a living and asked for a common wealth passport.

And since I have no more to write about the matter bear with me while I explain why I think what I think about the US with a little of statistics.

Gallup’ Consulting has done some research on US knowledge and beliefs when it comes to evolution and natural history. The questions posed were as follows and the percentages of positive answers are after the sentences:

Humans are the result of millions of years of natural evolution with a helping hand from god; 22%
Humans beings have developed throughout millions of years without any divine intervention; 18%
God created human beings as we are today sometime in the last 10,000 years; 54%
No comment; 6% (??) (Why should some people have no comments on this? Beats me!)

I rest my case. Lets bring Bush back again. He seems to represent the vast majority.

Deaf

2009-11-18T18:17:00.005+01:00

Yesterday was a good day. After a few hours of looking at the back of my hands and seeing figures of angels and demons fighting for control over my soul, I took my medication and everything came back to normal.

Before I start today’s dissertation let me stress that lately I have had a great loss in my life. A separation from someone that I very much loved and, as always, I could not get the message through in time and when I did it was already too late. Way too late . The damage was done. Thus I find myself with a lot of free time and a broken heart, a terrible combination in which you end up going over the same issues over again and again and before you know it you are staring at the back of your hands for hours on end and becoming a victim of yourself and hoping for a bus to run you down. Not good, not good at all.

As I was saying, after I became aware that I was within myself and needed a way out I called my friend Luigi (not his real name) and we scheduled a coffee meeting that included as much coffee as a macrobiotic meal. I like talking to Luigi because although we come from completely different backgrounds, both political and social, we have a level of understanding I have seldom found with anyone else.

After a few straight rums, we went to a Pizza place, Ciao Roma (it sucks), after the meal we ordered more rum and at this point I brought up the subject of religion. I explained to him my point of view regarding my faith (none) and the difference between believing in the Jesus the bible gives us from the true one (On popular demand, I will expand on this issue in a later essay). After the basis of the discussion was established and we both agreed that religions are not only lies but also criminal to human kind, I told him that the biggest crime of religion is the separation of God from human beings. Creating duality, putting God far away and only reachable through means of punishment and repent.

Luigi, freaked out. The reason is that Luigi is a full-hearted materialist, who applies full logical analysis to everything and for him the idea of God is nothing more than a human dream that comes from pre-historical times when we didn’t understand shit from the surrounding world and thus needed to put it in a mystical concept in order to make some sense out of it, which I also believe its true. However, my curiosity takes me further and in occasions I feel the desire to explore the un-logical, even if it is only for the sake of criticism. Luigi refuses to do this on the grounds that he fails to see the benefits of seeking, exploring and discovering new alternatives when logic seems to give him all the answers he needs. He accepts the world as it, weather it suits him or not. He reassures himself there is no choice.

I refuse to believe this. In fact, I would find it unbearable to know there is nothing else, that no matter how hard you strive to understand, feel and deduce, we are nothing more than a piece of meat destined to kick our mortal coil and that is it. I have to agree that the older I get the more and more I find reasonable arguments that point to the fact that he is right and that all else is a mere sugar coat over the sad evident truth. But I till have one thread of hope hanging me from otherwise.

Luigi refuses to accept that we posses a soul, and his arguments are strong. He bases this belief in the fact that every human feeling, thought, sensation is nothing more than a chemical reaction created to fill in an emotional gap.

His extensive knowledge of human history and animal evolution grants him the lead in arguing with solid facts. I must accept and recognize my inability to accept people with solid beliefs in anything. I am one that truly beliefs that nothing, absofuckinglutely nothing is absolute and that anyone who believes he has the absolute answer to everything is missing the most important part of knowledge. The part of accepting in humble recognition that in spite of having all the necessary information for a solid conclusion he might still be wrong. We both accused each other of lack of flexibility and hard headed. He even accused me of having what it takes to be a motivational speaker. Can you believe this?

However, I am going to be a little unfair here but fuck it, this is my blog and if Luigi wants to give his opinion, let him create his own blog (I love you man).

My ultimate opinion on the subject is that no matter how certain we are or how passionate we feel about anything, we are human beings and as such posses the power to change our views when confronted with different angles. Mankind needs to move on breaking molds and diluting his blue prints of beliefs in order to better comprehend that which surrounds us.

The world is changing quickly and we can no longer afford to maintain old school mentality. Instead we can enjoy the discovery and recognition of new values and creeds, as long as these do not interfere with anyone else’s´ values and creeds, and even then we are responsible for the evolution of our minds and soul and the only way to do this, the only way; is to accept that we may be wrong or that our truth may not apply to everything or everyone. Thus even if I don’t agree with Luigi I thank him for making me stronger and for giving me the chance to profoundly analyze my thoughts and defend them in a way that includes his reasoning, therefore widening my scope of understanding. Grande Miticon!!

Air

2009-11-15T12:16:00.005+01:00

I would very much like that from now on you would refer to me as Mr. Certified Open Water Diver guy. Thank you.

Yes, one of the things I took care of in Mozambique was to finally confront my fears of depths, attach an air bomb with enough hoses to drain a petrol carrier to my back and swim with the fishes. My instructor, Carlos, is one of those guys that thinks’ that holding a sharks tail is fun. So it took some time for Carlos to understand the fact that he was dealing with someone scared of too much pressure in the shower. But when he did and gathered enough patience to teach me the drills and chills of scuba diving, I proved to be better than he expected, granted he expected me to run away in a girl like fashion pulling my hair kicking dead jellyfish along the way.

Other than a few episodes with dolphins, manta rays the size of 18 wheelers and one unlucky octopus who will be shitting ink for many a years to come after his very close and personal encounter with yours truly, let me tell you that Scuba diving is fun, really fun.

The beach in which I dived is known as dead men’s´ coast. Had someone told me in advance that just a few days ago a solid grown up man, famous for his power swimming drowned like a little kid among the three-meter waves hitting the coast, I would have stayed on the beach, watching idiots learn scuba diving. But no one told me anything.

On the first day of instruction, Carlos was going on and on about the importance of underwater communication. Obviously you cannot speak underwater and tell the instructor to get his emergency drills and oxygen bottles and shove them up his ass, so there is a lot to learn.

The days before the course I had seen a lot of dead jellyfish on the beach. A lot of these were funny looking, blue, green and small, the kind you see about on National Geographic. attached to a screaming man running in ten different directions at the same time. They looked like used condoms. So my first question to Carlos was regarding these chewy little animals. He said there was nothing to worry about. Then he went on about how one of his students a few years ago had the unfortunate luck to come across one these blue bottles. Coincidentally, he told us, he had just received an e-mail from the guys’ wife who was very happy because he finally was able to move the left side of his face and that the doctor had told her that with 5 more years of medication her husband would be able to blink normally. And I was about to swim among these floating mucus’s with complete impunity. Hey, you need to break some eggs to make an omelet, is what I say.

My first dive was as smooth as riding an unbroken horse. I was bouncing everywhere with the bottles and my hoses were getting entangled with just about anything. I kicked the regulator (the thingy you breath from) from my buddys´mouth with my fin, not once but twice. I believe he invented a new underwater language to tell me to get the fuck out of near him.

In our briefing before diving, JP, the Dive master, had overstressed the need to be extremely careful not touching or do anything that would break the circle of life in choral reefs. Well, it’s a good thing he wasn’t looking. I took the choral reef a couple of hundred years back in 25 minutes. I was bouncing all over, hitting everything, scaring every living creature and breathing like a sex maniac. Believe you me, Ponta D´ouros underwater creatures will not easily forget me.

The new revolution

2009-11-05T16:41:00.006+01:00

Once on my seat, while the stewardess gave the ussual useless speach before take off, I knew my trip was over. I was, once more, leaving Africa behind. After learning how to buckle my seatbelt and understand how my floating cushion could save me in case we had to ¨land on the sea¨ (considering that I was crossing Africa from end to end and unless we landed in Lake Malawi, there was no other body of water for 9000 miles), and how to put on my oxygen mask properly so that I can breath properly while falling at 700 miles an hour towards very hard land, I grew sad. My sadness was not merely for leaving my family and friends behind, but because some very bad people had taken my country away. Because the Mozambican people had very quickly forgotten how beautiful and healthy the nation used to be. Believe you me it is no longer like that.

I write these words at 4 am, sleepless and thoughtful on how the world is turning out to and it must be a sign of me getting old and failing to see anything good going on.

The last phrase is not entirely true, but it keeps getting harder and harder to see anything positive around.

I understand that in spite of all the benefits we, westerns, are a lost case in many senses. We cannot understand that we want more than what we need and are prepared to do anything to maintain our way of life. But my hopes came strong when it came Africa, more specifically, Mozambique.

For those of us lucky enough to haved lived in Mozambique through the late seventies and all through the eighties would be very sad to learn that all the things you remember, the solidarity, the human side, the shoulder to shoulder attitude and brotherhood are gone. Mozambique and more specifically Maputo has fallen into a spiral of crime, disregard and a merciless eat or be eaten attitude.

On October 28^th the Mozambican 4th democratic election took place. Frelimo won by a landslide with their slogan, we keep up with our promises. Well, I’d like to know what those promises were. If one of the promises was to sell out the country, then they are right. If another of the promises was to fuck the poor, hell, they kept that one too.

Opponent political parties in Mozambique don’t qualify to a joke. Renamo is too busy trying to set the country on fire and Daviz Zimago is so happy to get a piece of the cake he ain´t saying shit.

Frelimo has the country by the balls with their we liberated the country from colonialism attitude. Not to mention that the country was granted independence because of the 25^th of April in Portugal and not because of any heroic independence war. This we can discuss later.

The point being that Mozambicans are in some sort of lethargic wet dream thinking they live in a democratic country and that they have a choice. Little they do they know that their own leaders are leaving the nation bared ass and empty. I use to think that most of Africa’s problems came from the European exploitation and in part that is true. However, lately I am changing my opinion. Africans cannot, for one, grasp the idea that they are a free to do anything, that they posses one the richest lands on earth. Raw material, minerals, oil, gas, diamonds, gold etc, and all in incredible quantities. Why is it so easy for westerners to get hold of these materials without any forced intervention or violence? Simply because Africans have lost their sense of togetherness.

This is a psychological phenomenon I cannot put my finger on. One example I can bring to show you this is when I wanted to buy some souvenirs from street sellers. As I approached the stands, tens of sellers came towards me like flies on shit, harassing, pushing, screaming and insisting that I buy from them and not from the next guy. After a few minutes the chaos was such I had to leave and leave fast. I tried again a few moments later with the same results. I couldn’t believe it. I sat in a café across the street and watched how the few tourists that approached to buy stuff were scared away by the aggressive selling mob. Result; they sold nothing.

For a few hours I stood there, watching how tourist after tourist left in fear.

So, instead of working together and all make a living, they would do anything to fuck their peers even if that meant fucking themselves in the process. This, in a larger scale is the Mozambican way of being. It broke my heart to see these attitudes implanted everywhere.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, there is only one way to survive in a society with such values - being a ruthless bastard. And that my friend is what Mozambique is full of, ruthless bastards. Merciless motherfuckers becoming rich by achieving the honorous goal of being the worst among the worse. He who is able to bury more people and initiatives becomes the king and respected by all. I

still attribute this behavior to the endless years of suffering the Mozambican people have endured. To the brutal ignorant Portuguese colony, to the misunderstanding during communist years that solidarity was linked to politics and to the opening of the market to whomever had the means and empty heart to make profit from someone else’s suffering.

Mozambique is the land I love, the land that saw me grow up. It gave me the best and the worse of my life and is always there to take me back in harsh times never failing to surprise me. Let it be the new surprise an open heart, a friendly smile and a helping hand. Viva Mozambique.

Hello, my name is Daniel and I will be your writer for today

2009-10-01T16:25:00.007+02:00

As I ran my hand over her smooth recently shaved pubis, I noticed a birthmark in the shape of an anvil, her hand curiously searching for my manhoo….Ooops, sorry wrong essay.

What I wanted to talk about you today is health and the North American way of health. Yes, these are two separate kinds. Americans have no idea what health is, or if they do they sold it to the best franchise and keep it in the same dungeon together with the Coca-Cola and KFC formulas far from the eyes of commoners.
Here is what I see in North American health ideas. Subway, a North American sandwich franchise, which I love, fills the commercial airwaves with messages of health, nature, and good living. Now, when you order, say, a Deli Melt Sandwich, you get, Bacon, Turkey, processed cheese, mayonnaise, mustard, jalapeños and Lettuce. Well, I don’t know about you, but I scarcely see any healthy product in there other than the white colorless, tasteless iceberg lettuce they use to merely give it a crunchy feeling.
Now, if Americans consider this healthy, I’ll leave it to your imagination what MickeyDs´, BK or Hardees can offer.
Anyways, this is something we all have to learn to live with. North Americans have exported their way of life to he farthest corners of the planet. Their eager to sell, commercialize and introduce every single thing they produce has made waves bigger than the Indian Ocean tsunami of 2004.
North Americans are fake; fake people, fake politics, fake values, fake religion, fake foods, fake ideas fake everything. A country with no name, a history of violence and swindles, North Americans can boast about being the only nation in the history of mankind to have exploited, murdered, stolen and oppressed every single race in this planet. From Indians to Chinese, from blacks to Latinos. Every single race, creed, religion, idea and/or culture has been, at one time or another, broken, tortured, killed, forbidden and executed by North Americans. I for one cannot understand the pride they hold in being US citizens.
Today they take pride in having a Black president. But, blacks are still today cornered farther and farther away from any social benefits. Go into New York or any major city in the US and see two worlds living in one, but rarely mixing. Regular hours in NY are white, white women and men in smart suits and fancy blackberries striving through cappuccinos on their way to meetings. If you visit the same place at night or very early in the morning, you see a different world; blacks and Latinos come up from the unseen world beneath. A world of cleaners, servers, beggars, and the manpower needed to make the whites world function. They go back home on all black buses. Blacks are still marginalized into darker and darker Ghettos, drug addictions, crime and unemployment. So, don’t come to me with Obama. Fuck Obama.
Here is a couple of books you may want to read if you need detailed information on this subject.

-A Peoples history of the United States by Howard Zinn
-Manufacturing consent by Noam Chomsky

I lived in the states for 6 years. I loved the first 4. The first 4 years, were magical, I had work, I could study and everyone was so kind to me I was amazed. However, I always felt like there was something no one was telling me. I paid no attention and carried on living in a world of fantasy.
Because let me tell you something, the US greatest ability is to produce an extremely positive image of itself and to make every one believe in it. US history is no longer read in books, rather it is seen through Hollywood flicks.
Hollywood does not hide US social issues, but masquerades them into the happy ending we all desire ideologically and commercially under the democracy and justice for all bullshit.
Fiction is news and propaganda is the truth in the US.
North American propaganda machine is so perfect that nothing escapes it. Food, money, goods, wars and even God are sold in the US.
Vietnam, Korea, WWII, Iraq, Afghanistan, Central America, South America, South East Asia et al are portrayed in the US as necessary means for the ¨good guy to win¨. So under this pretext everything is allowed in the name of North American Interests.
All this I discovered in my fifth year in the US and it was all-downhill from then on.
Then came Sept. 11th. That was a time when the entire US idiosyncrasy came out with no filters. For a few months, White Americans started loosing their politically correct attitude and spoke their minds about foreigners and immigrants. That was my wake up call. From then on, no one was lying to me anymore. All the nice greetings, the enjoy it at restaurants, the have a good day, and take cares sounded empty, fake and out of context with the news. Bush vowed for retaliation, social paranoia took over. Whites came out and demanded their country be given back and protected. Protected from us.
They have stolen our objectivity our common sense. They have made us believe that a war is not unlike a video game with green screens and radar images. They have convinced us that we want what they have to offer and that their systems and ways are the not only the best, but the only way to go. They are implanting their - You are free to do as we tell you - mode on us.
Fortunately, nature has a way to deal with these situations. And if we are to trust natural evolution, it is a matter of time they choke in A1 sauce. Soon.

Bastards balls served with fries via Bluetooth

2009-09-24T17:35:00.003+02:00

Yes I know the title is a little farfetched, however, it is a little it of everything I want to write today. Last night, with little to do after many days of carrying things from one flat to another I decided to take it easy and go see a movie. (Note to self; next time, stay at home and sit through a whole special of House M.D.). The new fab here in Europe what with the Bilbao film festival and the Sitges presentations, is Quentin Tarantinos Inglorious Bastards with Brad Pitt as main star.

Here is my review of the movie; Piece of Shit. - Will talk more about this later.

Another issue is the freedoms we so much brag about, the freedom under whose name we invade countries and torture people. I read in the latest Spanish National Geographic that this year commemorates the 60^th anniversary of the UN Universal Human Rights declaration. Just to refresh your mind, take a look here, http://www.un.org/en/documents/udhr/

I want you to read them and laugh hard until you fall one the floor and hit the sink with your head, this may bring you back to reality. (Take a look at article five, its better than a Marx Brothers movie)

My favorite is Article one, which states that every human being is born free. In this they are right, but a few moments after birth the freedom disappears as quick as your savings in Lehman Brothers account. You may think I am a cynic but let me bring forth the Inglorious Bastards movie again. Why is Quentin Tarantino free to make a piece of shit of this magnitude and still be flattered by the media?

The answer lies way back in the early 50s in the US.

One day, Ray Kroc, a blender sales man traveling the Midwest of the US swindled the McDonalds´ Bothers of California into selling him the business that would make him rich beyond belief and most of us fat beyond recognition. Why is this relevant to freedom you ask? Well simply because McDonalds was the first company to hire teenagers as employees, giving adolescents, for the first time in recorded history, purchasing power.

Teenagers became a strong market force that, for any industries benefit, lacked taste, and intelligence. This was a pot of gold.

As before, industries had the competitive market share of grown ups with criteria and common sense, now they had brainless hormone filled human bodies with lots of money to spend. This is the trend today. Over 80% of goods produced are aimed at teenagers. Teenagers today are bored and uneducated and need to constantly entertain their Xbox brain with as much bullshit as possible. Thus we end with Tarantinos flick.

The end result of this is, among many other things, extreme consumerism, and the crave for new things as quickly as possible. It doesn’t matter at all that this things are un-evolving, brain burners and completely senseless. No, what really matters is to have this enormous market share within your producing lines.

Cell phones. Let me tell you what happens when you purchase a new cell phone. For the first week you are thrilled to connect to the Internet, take pictures of just about everything, play Tetris and send text messages with funny letters. After a week you are using it solely and uniquely for the real purpose of it – Call family and friends.

But wait, a new cell phone has come out that includes all the features of your old one but it performs them faster, and off you go to get it and spend another week playing Tetris in a new format.

Another thing about cell phones is that men usually carry them in the front pocket of our pants, just next to our balls. No wonder cell signals are getting stronger and stronger. They are using our balls as antennas. It wont be long until our balls glow in the dark and our sperm will only find the female egg if a three way conference is made.

Sometimes when my phone rings I can feel it at a very intimate level. I have come to the point that even when it is lying on the table and rings, my balls vibrate as maracas via Bluetooth.

So, what conclusion can we get out of all this information? I think, that it is up to us, intelligent adults, to demand that Quentin Tarantino is sent to Siberia to make a documentary on yearly average snowfall for a period of 75 years or until death, whatever comes first with only Big Macs as nourishment and a huge radioactive cell phone attached to his balls. This will make me very happy. Ohhhhhh!!! someone is calling me. Gotta go.

She blinded me with Science

2009-09-20T13:26:00.008+02:00

Let me start by asking you a question; do you really believe all this bullshit about the Swine Flu? Are you aware of the swindle behind this crap? Are you aware that pharmaceutical companies are making record profits thanks to a virus that has killed 38 people worldwide? Lets not forget that most of these victims were individuals with a previous serious pathology.

Spain alone has made a deal with the Swiss pharmaceutical company Roche to purchase 25 millions dosages of Tamiflu at the unbelievable price of 350,000,000 euros. Some sources insist that more people have died of Tamiflu’s secondary effects than of the swine flu itself. But they don’t tell you this on account that it would end their profits. The secondary effects of Tamiflu include, but are not limited to, Heart failure, liver infection, pulmonary deficiencies, psychotic episodes and severe anemia. They are planning to inject this shit into your kids.

The World Health Organization, WHO, has ordered all first world countries to invest blindly into the vaccine. Meaning that countries like Mozambique, will have, I repeat, WILL have to deviate its meager resources away from Malaria, Cholera, AIDS, Pneumonia and hunger, which combined kill millions of people ever year, for a vaccine that will kill more people and serves to save 38 people who were already dying of something else. Bullshit. Complete bullshit.

The swine flu (I refuse to call it N1H1 to protect the pork industry) paranoia has reached unprecedented levels. Schools in Spain will send kids home on the spot if the he is seen coughing, sneezing or with a slight temperature. Those of you with kids know that small kids catch fevers and colds on a daily basis and that this is good. Primary diseases in toddlers and small children help their immune system create antibodies for future more serious illnesses. How soon we forget all this and fall for the Media, multibillion-dollar pharmaceutical business bullshit.

Here is what pisses me off to the level that I am looking at the gun section of the Walt-mart catalogue; Pharmaceutical companies are doing nothing, NOTHING (pardon my caps, but I need to reinforce my theories) about Malaria (one example). Last years global effort on Malaria was according to World Watch Organization, 7 million dollars.

Now let me remind you about Spain’s budget for Tamiflu; 350,000,000 and the vaccine miraculously, was ready only weeks after the ¨Global¨ propagation of the viral infection. If that doesn’t make you think, then go to the nearest pharmacy and buy a mask to protect yourself, because if your brain is so basic, you need a mask, in case it’s contagious (Your stupidity, not the Swine flu).

What will it take for us to achieve a level of consciousness so as to not allow anyone to fool us so easy? We must understand that Science is not always right. That knowledge of the nano will not solve problems at the grossest state of being. Allow me to explain.

Medicine, as is the case with this Swine flu issue, has always explored the human body by means of digging into corpses, studying the anatomy of human beings so as to figure out what kills us, but seldom do they see what keeps us alive. Now, I know that going to the source is the way to go, as long as you don’t forget the absolute. What I mean to say is that Science tends to see humans as many parts working together, it refuses to see that the sum is larger than the numbers.

No matter how many organs, cells, atoms or tissues we are made of, the conclusion is one sole complete being with a capability way beyond its individual parts, and that these being is subject to aging, decomposing, defecating and expiring. We live in a planet that has always been hostile to us by means of virus, bacteria, poisonous animals and plants, natural disasters and other things, and we have survived. Considering the odds, this is a miracle. But seeing into it with detail, we see that the reason we did survive is because our immune system has always adapted to new attacks, new poisons, new virus and bacteria and the fact that until now no virus has been quick enough to kill us before our body created protection its because of this great ability to adapt.

This is the way nature works. Science, however, has changed all this. It has introduced new lab-made pathogens to which nature has not had time to adapt to. It has tingled with million years old genetic codes without considering the consequences. Take this example; you may look at a tomato and think it’s quite a simple chemical reaction created mostly by water. However, this beautiful cocktail of molecules, vitamins and amino-acids took millions of years to combine in just the right way to form what we mix with our salads, so what you are seeing is the result of a trial and error work of nature that took forever. Funny enough, this was not enough for science. In a matter of a few years, Science took those components apart and started adding other components and changing the absolute structure coming up with something that physically resembles a tomato but is far from tasting like one. Now apply this same experimental curiosity from science to just about everything we eat and the result is…Absolute uncertainty.

We are no longer bounded to the natural evolution from Mother Nature, we have changed the dice and now the outcome could be just about anything. Never has nature been fondled about in such a way, thus its natural processes no longer apply.

So far so good. The real problem starts now. Science in its curiosity to discover, moreover, create the unknown, has forgotten about the known. Rather than working on mother’s nature creation, scientists started manipulating it to the extent that we no longer know what is going on. Malaria, for example, has been with us for thousands of years. An Australopithecus corpse found somewhere in Asia was found to have died of a similar strand of the Cholera virus.

Viral diseases have been with us at all times. Some scientists believe that its not that humans need virus and bacteria, rather it is them that need us and we are nothing else than hosts for them to thrive. And what have we done with this; refill humans with anti-biotic for decades killing most of the viruses. But most is not enough when it comes to viruses. The viruses that have survived the antibiotics created resistance and became virtually indestructible.

So, we now find ourselves with the Rambo of virus, a weak immune system and with the same anti-biotics used one hundred years ago. (Yes, that’s right, Science hasn’t worked to improve antibiotics since Mr. Fleming found the green mold in his bathroom).

My point is that Science has blinded us with gadgets that, I admit it, are really cool, but has failed to improve our lives at a human level. Let me phrase it this way; it is definitely more likely and profitable for Science to find a cure for Cancer than to understand why one cell decides to go astray and fuck everything up.

My final point being that again, we come to a cornerstone in our existence in which we have all the information we need to think for ourselves and decide what we need to make our lives better. A decision we must meditate taking into account that freedom is only the first step towards stepping into someone else’s toes.

Backfiring

2009-09-18T10:52:00.004+02:00

What you are about to read was meant to be published in our online bulletin Newswicked.comas an editorial for the Sept 30th issue regarding Immigration and environment. initially I had written it out of spite, as I do most of the times, and went ahead and published it stright to the site. However my good friend (Hello, J.R.!!!) J.R. warned me thatI was not only being too bold, but also stupid. I reacted harshly at first but then fell into the wave of guilt that all women have the hability to put you in, and decided she was right and that it may not be on the interest of newswicked to publish something bold and stupid. I discussed this essay with her and came to the conclussion that it should be published anyway even if people misunderstand it. Hopefully some people will understand that the whole point is that a true revolution is way due. A revolution on the self.
By the way if you haven´t seen it yet, go and take a peek, and if you think you can give us your ideas and essays to share with all, give it a try. NEWSWICKED.COM Enjoy

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Before I begin today’s editorial I wished to make a reflection about last weeks issue on environment. Our writers touch sensible points in our community’s problems. I wished to have my saying too.
I for one am against all environmental policies - All of them. Here is one reason why. - In our civilized countries there is a new fashion of offering new tech cars with less emissions and more mileage. The message behind this new trend is that by buying a new, mega expensive car that will last only three years on account that new technologies are still being tested, will make you participate in a global effort to clean the world. Also, according to these commercials, you will get a good-looking girl and drive through empty wide streets. But anyways, let me ask you this? What do you think happens to the car you had before? Better yet, where are the millions of highly polluting cars that are disposed off each day? I will tell you where they are; In Africa.

Companies that insist on selling you a new tech car are simultaneously reselling your old car to people in Africa, where maintenance is minimum and pollution not controlled. So again, we find ourselves biting our own tail and acting stupid. Real change comes from consciousness, not from mental processes. Real change comes from your personal desire, not imposed by a company. - By the way, in Spain, as in all industrial countries, the vast majority of pollution (79% according to Greenpeace) is made by carbon, chloride, electric and refinery companies. These companies are not regulated, Moreover, since the financial crisis, our governments have given them trillions to continue doing what they’ve been doing all along.
The real revolution

That said, lets bring on the theme of our issue, due on Sept. 30th

Immigration. Thought-out history, humans have migrated for various reasons; political, hunger and better TV reception. There is no race, creed and social group that have not, at one time or another, seek refuge in foreign lands. History has taught us that it is normal for one group of people to come join others and share its resources in peace and harmony, learn each others culture and live happily ever after in flying horses that shit gold. If you believed the last sentence, you might need a little history lesson.

Now seriously, most migrations are done with violence and aggressiveness from either party. In the majority of cases a group of people are envious of another group of people and simply decide to take over their land, women and cattle. This is done at many levels. However, on some sporadic occasions, one group is in need and another offers to help, but these things seldom have a happy ending.

Today, this has changed. The so-called Globalization has become more of a centralization of resources. A few rich countries own all the worlds’ resource in one way or another, leaving the residents of poor exfoliated nations, with little choice but to endure real adventurous, and often, final trips in fragile boats to rich nations seeking to improve their lives, only to achieve a deepest level of poverty in a hostile foreign land; The so-called Fourth World.

Very few of us accept the fact that people migrate out of necessity not greed. The Average lazy spoiled Europemuertos-por-paterasan and US citizen (ALSEU) is pissed off that immigrants come to take their jobs away, they work harder, happier, and ask for less. The ALSEU is used to living in a world where everything is served, protected and regulated. Efforts should be made to make ALSEU understand that all these privileges where written off when they decided to vote for a free market economy. We started a game that is presenting it´s bill, and it has to paid in cash not credit.. You cannot have complete social protection based on the repression of others because these others will one day come and demand those same privileges for themselves. In my opinion, weather ALSEU understand this or not, there is no way out of it, eventually his daughter will bring a Senegalese home.

You´ll have to wait till Sept 30th to find out what our writers have to say.

Daniel R. Valls

Editor of Newswicked.com

Tiziano Terzani (1938-2004)

2009-09-15T21:57:00.005+02:00

Well, I do not pretend to even dare use his name for any of my opinions. However, Tiziano Terzani and I have become intimate in the sense that his words speak volumes to me.

I came across Terzani at Barcelona Airport. I was bound for Maputo and had 16 hours of uncomfortable air travel ahead of me. Moments before boarding the plane I realized with horror that I had left my David Edwards book at home and now faced 16 sleepless hours without anything to read. This is my worse nightmare. I ran through the terminal looking like a demented runaway seeking a magazine stand, book store or anything that had reading material so I could get hold of magazines, books, Sudokus anything to entertain me.

When I finally found one they were calling my name on the PA system. I grabbed the first book at hand, paid and dashed my way back to the departing gate.

Once on the plane, after clearing all the remainders of peanuts and soda served by unsympathetic airhostesses I looked into the bag and grabbed the book.

The End is my Beginning, by Tiziano Terzani. I had never heard of this guy but still found something special about his name. The portrait had him dressed as a Hindu man, sitting on the floor facing a small kid who is trying to touch his nose. I liked it.

The book is simply the best thing I have ever, Ever, read. His prose was simple and catchy with no pretensions of any kinds. His message profound and unique. He had been a famous journalist for Der Spiegel since the early sixties till the begging of the 21st century. An addicted traveler he could not sit still for long before he endured another of his well-registered trips through the heart of Asia in which he lived for over 30 years.

The End is my Beginning is his goodbye to the world. He had been diagnosed with Cancer and after many painful useless treatments he had decided to stop all ailments and face his last call with pride and dignity. Accepting what most of us refuse to accept: that we are not immortal and death is as part of life as life itself. If you take only one advice from me, make that to read this book. Go man, read it.

Ok, now that you’ve read it (I sincerely hope so, otherwise the rest of this essay will make little sense) let me say that since then, I have read everything he has ever published. I have thanked god for making me forget David Edwards at home that day at the airport. No offense to David Edwards at all. His book Free To Be Human is a masterpiece of human conduct.

Tiziano was a clear minded, intelligent man with a huge doses of common sense, something rarely used these days, and I have to wonder what had he said about today’s issues, such as the Economic crisis, Swine Flu, Israel and huge Chinese expansion.

Considering that in his travels he found such injustice in acts such as Chinese invasion of Malaysia, the impact of the neo colonization in third world countries and the free market world destroying everything it its path in exchange for a color TV and a cell phone, I do ask myself what would a man like him, with honest convictions, free soul and love of humanity, think about the world today, a mere five years after is death.

People like Tiziani, Poveda, Bryson and Saviano are essential to human understanding of life. I believe that Tiziani is one of the few that went through life free of boundaries and lacking conceptual theories of social behaviors in a way that made him able to see, perceive, feel the human condition at is rawest point.

It is inherent in all of us to read his books and feel the need to go on the Tran Siberian trail to help the poor Mongols sell Yak butter to the poor Chinese through the train windows.

I would be surprised if deep inside you don’t eager to take a train to inner China, then take a horse for ten days to a remote village whose habitants have not yet heard of electricity, only to meet a fortune teller whose powers are said to be unique. Even if you then find out that what he had to tell you was less accurate than the newspaper horoscope. However disappointing the fortuneteller may have been, it is the intent, the trip itself that made for the message you may be looking for. Because we westerners have a tendency to separate from others to make the distinction clear of us and them. Once you become them, then the whole picture changes. The world as one makes more sense and then, only then can we practice those beautiful words muttered by a son of a carpenter 2000 years ago, do unto others what you do for yourself.

You would have to be a stone to read Tiziani and not feel the need of participating in his analysis,, his philosophy on avoiding technology and walk, walk walk. Get a backpack with a couple of clean underwear and comfortable shoes, take the first train to a remote area and put yourself in awkward situations, live through new experiences other than having your baggage lost at the airport, get to know yourself better. Discover life.

Social pressures, ownerships, self imposed responsibilities and lack of adventurous stimulation have made humans today little more than walking working machines with very little to hope for.

Today, we are flooded with information to the point of saturation. We hear about some remote area of the world on TV and quickly kick-start the Internet to see what its all about. We see the pictures and read the Wikipedia article about it and move on. How much loss is this? Have we lost the will to seek, to grow to be part of the world? Have we sold our souls for a bunch of electronic gadgets and pseudo comforts that gives us more anxiety than pleasure?

When we travel, our goal is to reach there as quick as possible, lodge in a hotel that is similar to our homes and have a MacDonald’s, or similar, nearby. Take a few pictures, seldom mixing with the locals and complaining about the weather, the food and the prices. It is sick to the bone. What would Tiziano say?

If you have the choice of taking two buses, one going uphill and the other going downhill, take the one going up, its more fun.

Yellow fever/Spanish invasion

2009-09-11T22:23:00.002+02:00

For those of you who think that the Chinese are already taking over, take a seat and watch. The Chinese have yet to wake up. Seldom do we understand the scale of the country. Let us remember their numbers: China’s last census, done in 2008, counted 1.3 billion Chinese. The Chinese army alone is 42 million strong - larger than the population of Spain. This means that in case they wished to invade us in a military way, it would be done before breakfast.

Now let’s think about this. Consider what 750 million people (Europe and the US combined) have done to this planet. Take into consideration that the damage done was caused by merely a 27% of our population. To your calculation, add the fact that most of us Europeans and US citizens do not really migrate; we prefer to stay at home with our culture, our religions and our family lines. Even when we have moved abroad, in most cases we’ve mingled with the local cultures and ended up creating new races - proving that we not only will take your wealth and land but we will fuck your women too.

The Chinese on the other hand have lived with censorship since 1926. Religious repression and personal restraints have been the daily bread for millions of Chinese. They are eager to leave and take any opportunity to settle elsewhere at any cost. They rarely mix and tend to consider everyone else outside their mind-frame as mere pieces of flesh.

If you want to take a glimpse at what China will become, all you have to do is take a look at Singapore and multiply it by a thousand. I personally have never been to Singapore, but I know for a fact that the island is populated, in large numbers, by Chinese who fled the mainland in the 19^th century - they were the equivalent of today’s north-African boat people. They were running away from famines, drought, and ruthless warlords. These immigrants were not poets or aristocrats; they were farmers, peasants and slaves, and had been such since the beginning of time. To their deep dissatisfaction, surviving the boat trip and arriving on foreign soil provided little relief. They fell into British, Dutch and Portuguese colonies that exploited them even more. Their first break came when the colonies were released. Suddenly, million of Chinese were free to roam, do and act as they pleased. It was the beginning of a new Diaspora.

Like most immigrants their sole goal was money. Quickly, they discovered that the only way to survive with dignity in their new homes was to have enough money to buy security, citizenship and respect.

Countries like Malaysia, Thailand and Singapore took these refugees and used them as a work force, to which the Chinese adapted with pride. Their keenness and discipline took them higher and higher up the economic scale.

Today, these countries have lost their identity for the sake of competition.

Thailand has become a world brothel, Malaysia is little more than a tourist trap for rich Europeans and Chinese, and Singapore is one huge tremendous mall, where in order to control such chaos big-brother laws were implemented. Singapore has the highest rate of policemen per inhabitants in the world, 1 per 1000, and a great number of these belong to the secret police. Stupid laws such as no chewing gum in the street, no spitting and no criticizing the government are imposed with severity. All this is because of the Chinese. Singaporeans have had to sell their souls and traditions for the sake of keeping up with Chinese greed.

For tens of generations the Chinese have forgotten their religion, their culture and their morals. They traded these values for the almighty dollar. As country orphans, they adopted the western ideology and focused on it with brutal keenness. And, this hasn’t even started.

Let me tell you something. Up to now China is only producing and providing enough to maintaining one hundredth of its population. When the time comes when all 1.3 billion Chinese have purchasing power, then my boys and girls, you can get all those environmental laws, all the green movements and ecologic ideologies, roll them up in Vaseline and stick them really deep up your ass. What I am trying to say is that rather than worry about saving our planet with green ideas and solar panels we must come up with a few new ideas to redesign the whole economic structure forcing countries like China to follow our footsteps. However, we if we insist on playing the same winner takes all game we have been playing so far, rather than a green planet it will be a yellow one.

And to make my point clear, allow me to explain how I got to vote for extremists in the last general elections.

Needless to say, those who know me know that when it comes to politics I am way tilted to the left. This is like saying that the pope is catholic. Anyway, in the months before the election I started to wonder what the people I voted for thought of the Chinese occupation in Tibet. Tibet is the zenith of Chinese occupation. From it they control all, yes ALL the sources for every Asian river. The Ganges, Saraswati, Brahmaputra, Yang Tze and other major river begin with a little spring high in the Tibetan Plateau. And everyone knows that in the near future the real power will be for who controls the precious liquid. As a result Tibet, today, has more Chinese than Tibetans and the local millenary spiritual background is diluting quickly.

I had recently read that the Spanish government had made a pact of no intrusion with the Chinese government. Meaning that in spite of all the atrocities committed by the Chinese, all these would be swept under the carpet for the sake of business. Also, a few months before, the Dalai Lama had visited Spain and our beloved president had refused to meet him so as to not piss off his powerful yellow friends.

I wrote formal e-mails to every political party in Spain.

The answers I received where vague and irrelevant. No Party took any definite standpoint when it came to the Chinese occupation of Tibet. I realized that cutting bonds with the Middle Kingdom was like letting go of the only rope while being shipwrecked.

However, one party gave the answer I was looking for. ERC (Esquerra Republicana de Catalunya), a historic local party that refuses to be called Spanish on the ground that we (yes, me too) are not Spanish - we are Catalans no matter what our ID cards say. We were taken over in the 17^th century by a stupid marriage between Isabel of Castilla and Fernando of Aragon (yes, the same two assholes that financed Columbus), and although lacking the speed of the Chinese, the Spaniards have made great efforts to relegate us to a status of second hand citizens and to lose our identity, for the sake of the newly almighty Euro. And that we did, Catalunya is undoubtedly the richest province of Spain; we account for more than 30% of Spain’s GNP, pay 25% more taxes than other provinces and receive less equivalent government financial support on the grounds that we are too rich. Thus places like Andalusia, Murcia and Extremadura can rejoice in their local traditions of Siesta, bullfighting (murder) and the typical Spanish laissez-faire because the Catalans will pay for their stuff. ERC is against all that, and maintains a violent stand against the Spanish Monarchy and Spanish occupation of Catalunya. I love these guys.

So, ERC replied reminding me that Tibet is an occupied nation as is Catalunya, and therefore should be supported in terms of aiding their local culture to survive amidst the ocean of invasive traditions.

Now my problem is to make these two issues tie up into one moral message, and it is a difficult one. But I will dare to say that I couldn’t care less about the Chinese seeking for a better life elsewhere, I don’t give a rat’s ass about the ecology and the environment as the powers that be want us to, and I don’t care what my ID card says. What I do care about is personal integrity, local traditions and their need to mix with external ones and grow, evolve and fit most of us. I am against the imposition of cultures or ethnic annihilation for the sake of Business; but most of all, I am against exchanging cultural values for modernization.

La Vida Loca

2009-09-03T13:43:00.002+02:00

Cristian Poveda, a man with balls of steel has been cowardly murdered by unknown gansters. Cristian directed and produced La Vida Loca.

La Vida Loca is a raw informative about what it is like to live among the Maras in the mean streets of suburban San Salvador. Cristian, a French - Spaniard movie director gave us a crude, uncut insight of the modus operandi of such gangs and its impact on todays Central American society. Moreover, Cristian told us about the unfairness of politics, economy and society as a whole towards Salvadorean Youth, leaving them no choice but to join the gangs.

Poveda was murdered execution style in El rosario, El Salvador last night. Although the local authorities are compromised with finding the responsible, we all know that it will never be understood that Cristian bargained his own safety to give us the truth.

It a must see Documentary.

Rest in Peace Cristian, your light will guide us all.

Waterloo

2009-09-02T01:34:00.002+02:00

Leonardo Dicaprio has made a documentary for the environment. Ladies, I said environment, get Leo out of your heads (sigh!). The documentary is called The 11th hour and it is well made in the sense that it looks very professional and well researched. It is a good documentary for the uninformed Bob of Jane with the typical Protect the American interest attitude, it will also be of interest if the acid rain is melting down your corn fields in Iowa.

As always, North American media manages to touch our most sensible side, it brings images of true devastation, it interviews clever scientists with wild hairs and fragments it with small speeches from the Leo, showing his million dollar grin and untidy hair style. (Isn’t he cute?)

As in most US documentaries, the 11th Hour diverts us into emotional discourses and head first into the belief that by taking the plastic bottles to the yellow container we are saving the world.

Ok, the Eleventh hour is not so cheap and simple, but still manages to grasp us into this Pseudo-solidary world they want us to dream about.

When it comes to third world and the people dying today, it is useless. Lets not forget it might have its unfairness too. Unfairness you say? Yes, extremely unfair in every aspect. Bear with me.

Once, in Mozambique an African old man who worked for us complained he could not understand white men at all. According to him, white men were cruel and cynic.

Why? -I asked him, trying to know to which of all the crimes he was referring to. He said that before whites arrived in Africa, Africans had a normal life that consisted of hunting down what they needed and settling down more or less wherever they could. When Europeans appeared it took us merely a few decades managed to destabilize thousands of years of balance. We simply killed everything that moved, mostly for sport and leisure. One day, a friend of Mr. Grosvenor (founder of The National Geographic Society) became tired of walking for so long to shot a cheetah to use the head as a decoration for his office in Washington, he called on a bunch of scientists to create conservative laws so as not to allow pouching on hunting grounds, incredibly enough those laws are still in order today. With enough money you can buy a permit to hunt Lions, Elephants and many other animals, however if they were to catch you hunting for food, you are in trouble. This is not to be confused with the hunt of Gorillas which is done simply to satisfy some rich asshole living in Singapore or Shanghai.

When all was done, we had created anti hunting laws, forcing the Africans to abandon their secular hunting habits for nurture because most species were at the brink of extinction. Africans expelled a Cosmic; what the fuck??

Europe and the US have become rich and powerful by exploiting the environment without limits.

Here is the catch. Up to now, the contamination quota has been shamelessly used as trading currency. What happens is that protocols such as Kyoto allowed emission trade business. Specifying that if a given country did not meet the maximum capacity (as most developing countries do) this nation could sell its emissions quota to another country.

And so we lived happily ever after. Now rich nations could not overdue their own emissions at the risk of a small fine but also buy new emission permits at a laughable rate, but the new laws also allowed developed nations to establish their poisonous factories in poor nations and get cheap man force to produce, and of course enjoy extremely flexible laws on taxes, human resources and very little control from EU or US audits. It was awesome.

What happened is that these poor countries somehow got to make its own little production and needed its emission quota back. Enter new environmental laws. Now we tell them its bad for the environment and that the world is dying and we have to seek new ways of doing things. Developing nations do not have the economic strength to invest in new technologies so, again, once more they are left behind. Start the cycle again. Only now, the world is in worse shape and they can’t do nothing about it.

Instead of providing subsidies, aid (true aid) and support, we sue developing nations for not abiding to business contracts and present it on the international Court of Law in which men with worried faces bring all these crazy haired scientists to remind us that the world cannot handle the rate of destruction used so far reminding the third world that they can no longer contaminate because we live in a fragile world.

And so people with influence such as beautiful Leonardo serve as means to build up conscience in the American public towards understanding that something should be done before we all end up peeling skin segments the size of El Guernica.

Here is the thing that surprises me most. No one says shit about this. No one. We are all drunk in ecologist attitudes thinking it’s our responsibility to change the world. Investing money we should be put into helping the poor live with dignity rather than investing into solar panels that give enough energy to feed three light bulbs. Not because it doesn’t work, but because we are light years away for it to be cost efficient. Something is not entirely right about this.

Then I came to think that if we were to delegate responsibilities and get someone to fix this, that maybe Sweden would be a good choice.

Sweden is famous for implementing a very unique type of socialism. A socialism based on the premises of equality and homogenization. Sweden has not permitted any major industry in their country so as to preserve their environment and thus enjoy the cleanest of airs in the world. People in Sweden are nice, simple and kindly opened to new ideas and tendencies.

I thought that if we ask the Swedes to solve this problem, they would probably send in a couple of Swedes hippies (unique type of hippy) walking barefoot and mingling with local population getting the facts right. Maybe, just maybe they can find that their way of life suits African lifestyles.

But, the more I think about it; maybe the Swedes are not such a good idea. Swedish socialism has brought to them a keep your head down attitude that has given them the awful lead in juvenile suicides. It seems that social homogenization might not be as productive as I think. Their air is clean simply because all their industry is installed abroad. Sweden’s Scania, Ericsson and Ikea are three of the most contaminating industries in the world and are located in third world countries with low tax rates and extremely cheap work force. And to be honest, Swedish ideas and tendencies are boring and simple minded.

I wanted to bring Sweden into all this because Sweden is one of the countries that most benefited from the Kyoto Protocol. They enjoy an unheard clean environment and a common wealth comparable only to Japan and the US combined all at the expense of developing nations. And of course ABBA, which is simply the last drop.

You figure it out.