tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33940406093289791632010-03-08T10:44:05.930-06:00Smart. Ass.DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.comBlogger124125Subscribe with My Yahoo!Subscribe with My AOLSubscribe with BloglinesSubscribe with Googletag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-14650752437651541292010-03-02T21:44:00.003-06:002010-03-02T23:08:26.415-06:002010-03-02T23:08:26.415-06:00You have to admit, February was a great month for fans of pretending to care about hockey. Our imported players ended up losing to Canada's imported players, but at least we Americans proved - just...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=7lujUPtQ3to:BVvhWfZNT_M:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=7lujUPtQ3to:BVvhWfZNT_M:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=7lujUPtQ3to:BVvhWfZNT_M:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=7lujUPtQ3to:BVvhWfZNT_M:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/7lujUPtQ3to" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/03/sports-issue.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-54147560502752993522010-02-27T20:20:00.000-06:002010-02-27T20:20:23.525-06:002010-02-27T20:20:23.525-06:00Already there are banner ads everywhere to donate money for Chile earthquake relief, and Obama is promising aid. Doesn't that country have a working government and a couple banks? We haven't even...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=S9nYUGZ07ew:TS6bAmxk2a0:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=S9nYUGZ07ew:TS6bAmxk2a0:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=S9nYUGZ07ew:TS6bAmxk2a0:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=S9nYUGZ07ew:TS6bAmxk2a0:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/S9nYUGZ07ew" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/here-we-go-again.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-15276094389510152862010-02-26T20:21:00.000-06:002010-02-26T20:21:12.074-06:002010-02-26T20:21:12.074-06:00I finally canceled my Myspace account. Not for the trendy reason that Facebook is better, but because I don't want to spend the rest of my life logging into websites owned by millionaires who aren't...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=LNiCm96PAFA:ljrOoM9YRKs:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=LNiCm96PAFA:ljrOoM9YRKs:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=LNiCm96PAFA:ljrOoM9YRKs:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=LNiCm96PAFA:ljrOoM9YRKs:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/LNiCm96PAFA" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/no-my-space.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-12258882225401091722010-02-24T05:05:00.001-06:002010-02-24T05:07:43.459-06:002010-02-24T05:07:43.459-06:00A friend at work slipped Artie Lange's Too Fat To Fish in my mailbox with a post-it that read "quick read," and it is. But who can put down a book about a guy who develops a cocaine habit in his 20's...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=z-89EAYx5fQ:QGYf4IzTZog:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=z-89EAYx5fQ:QGYf4IzTZog:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=z-89EAYx5fQ:QGYf4IzTZog:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=z-89EAYx5fQ:QGYf4IzTZog:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/z-89EAYx5fQ" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/too-fat-to-fish.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-88980161776198182072010-02-22T00:28:00.001-06:002010-02-22T00:30:42.407-06:002010-02-22T00:30:42.407-06:00I saw The Ramones several times in the 80's, on the heels of Too Tough To Die and Animal Boy, the latter of which is still one of my favorite records. The Ramones could be counted on to play The...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=UWAtX9NFye8:vwWYrlgMIPs:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=UWAtX9NFye8:vwWYrlgMIPs:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=UWAtX9NFye8:vwWYrlgMIPs:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=UWAtX9NFye8:vwWYrlgMIPs:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/UWAtX9NFye8" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/white-dopes-on-punk-pt-3.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-18709119464565647302010-02-20T12:41:00.001-06:002010-02-23T20:42:56.961-06:002010-02-23T20:42:56.961-06:00The glory days of punk as some new movement were long over by the time of the McDonald's incident. Mohawks and Doc Martens were cliche (though there were still plenty of them around), and even Punk...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=XAfrglucmLM:QYTcEdPmuKA:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=XAfrglucmLM:QYTcEdPmuKA:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=XAfrglucmLM:QYTcEdPmuKA:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=XAfrglucmLM:QYTcEdPmuKA:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/XAfrglucmLM" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com2http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/white-dopes-on-punk-pt-2.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-74219383565160813632010-02-19T14:33:00.001-06:002010-02-19T14:52:48.162-06:002010-02-19T14:52:48.162-06:00On a very cold, rainy, February night - in '86 or '87, can't recall - I went with a few friends to The 930 Club in Washington, D.C. to see T.S.O.L. This was when the 930 was on F Street, right around...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=QP_4z9S2Ny4:iAFUWXwQXUg:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=QP_4z9S2Ny4:iAFUWXwQXUg:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=QP_4z9S2Ny4:iAFUWXwQXUg:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=QP_4z9S2Ny4:iAFUWXwQXUg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/QP_4z9S2Ny4" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com1http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/white-dopes-on-punk-pt-1.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-16045504842349247342010-02-15T16:40:00.012-06:002010-02-17T13:25:53.238-06:002010-02-17T13:25:53.238-06:00"So, the funny thing about child pornography... I mean, aside from the lack of credits at the end ..." If that's the kind of joke you like to hear at the beginning of an hour of comedy then Doug...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=vVduydvcUqk:sk3ogSTwDjA:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=vVduydvcUqk:sk3ogSTwDjA:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=vVduydvcUqk:sk3ogSTwDjA:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=vVduydvcUqk:sk3ogSTwDjA:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/vVduydvcUqk" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/from-across-street-non-review.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-43911515594371439332010-02-14T14:45:00.006-06:002010-02-14T22:35:09.400-06:002010-02-14T22:35:09.400-06:00According to legend, this is something Hicks typed up and hung on the greenroom wall somewhere - maybe the Punchline in Atlanta - I'm not sure because I have no career and haven't worked there. In...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=FVVy3uK61lg:wTY7N7PVLrE:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=FVVy3uK61lg:wTY7N7PVLrE:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=FVVy3uK61lg:wTY7N7PVLrE:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=FVVy3uK61lg:wTY7N7PVLrE:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/FVVy3uK61lg" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com1http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/bill-hicks-principles-of-comedy.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-38837776065849961512010-02-09T16:47:00.006-06:002010-02-09T21:33:03.942-06:002010-02-09T21:33:03.942-06:00Today, February 9th, is the fifth anniversary of my first comedy open mike. It was at the Funny Bone in Springfield, IL. They didn't use the actual show room for Wednesdays, so the "stage" was...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=R0bdmD1e9n0:nAyBZnzNo0I:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=R0bdmD1e9n0:nAyBZnzNo0I:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=R0bdmD1e9n0:nAyBZnzNo0I:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=R0bdmD1e9n0:nAyBZnzNo0I:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/R0bdmD1e9n0" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/five-years-in.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-16679094300426686222010-02-08T10:47:00.006-06:002010-02-08T12:13:05.678-06:002010-02-08T12:13:05.678-06:00My WHO fan-dom didn't begin until after Keith Moon was dead. I might have been twelve when, on Christmas morning, I found a copy of Who Are You with my name on it. I think mom just wandered into the...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=C0eRmJeD64g:QwWJPdEROsU:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=C0eRmJeD64g:QwWJPdEROsU:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=C0eRmJeD64g:QwWJPdEROsU:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=C0eRmJeD64g:QwWJPdEROsU:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/C0eRmJeD64g" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com1http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/heroes-pt-8-who.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-42811982122387769202010-02-02T14:12:00.007-06:002010-02-02T18:31:05.758-06:002010-02-02T18:31:05.758-06:00Jersey Shore? Was Guidouche! already taken? Faux-Hawk's Landing? Bad hair-do aside, the guy on the right looks almost normal next to Gay-Rod and Oompa Lou Diamond Philips here. I know, criticizing...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=i9VVdx9pAA8:qz-XV8gBr58:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=i9VVdx9pAA8:qz-XV8gBr58:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=i9VVdx9pAA8:qz-XV8gBr58:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=i9VVdx9pAA8:qz-XV8gBr58:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/i9VVdx9pAA8" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/02/jersey-shore-was-guidouche-already.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-31169175683596880942010-01-26T17:40:00.008-06:002010-01-27T05:14:38.008-06:002010-01-27T05:14:38.008-06:00If you're wondering why this post doesn't have a funnier title, it's because there isn't one. And no, I'm not making this up. I couldn't. If you asked me yesterday what kind of hell I would design...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=aIkgqB--yRY:nn1tb5BFZ50:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=aIkgqB--yRY:nn1tb5BFZ50:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=aIkgqB--yRY:nn1tb5BFZ50:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=aIkgqB--yRY:nn1tb5BFZ50:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/aIkgqB--yRY" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/01/abba-theme-park-opens.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-15888640520400256772010-01-25T06:21:00.006-06:002010-01-25T09:34:28.041-06:002010-01-25T09:34:28.041-06:00Peyton Manning is a great quarterback. I saw the game yesterday, and he was pretty damn impressive. But I don't understand the rabid devotion and blue-faced fandom. He's not from Indianapolis, he's...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=7MQ6E091i_s:pCweWI_sNr8:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=7MQ6E091i_s:pCweWI_sNr8:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=7MQ6E091i_s:pCweWI_sNr8:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=7MQ6E091i_s:pCweWI_sNr8:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/7MQ6E091i_s" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/01/congrats-colts.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-32575393836694081282010-01-23T05:31:00.006-06:002010-01-23T06:16:50.887-06:002010-01-23T06:16:50.887-06:00The first half: Comedians migrate to Los Angeles, in particular the Comedy Store, in the early to mid-70's. Hilarity ensues. The second half: Everything goes to shit. If you do comedy, you will come...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=9EZadjOwNGg:I7i-xBXh2SM:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=9EZadjOwNGg:I7i-xBXh2SM:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=9EZadjOwNGg:I7i-xBXh2SM:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=9EZadjOwNGg:I7i-xBXh2SM:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/9EZadjOwNGg" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/01/im-dying-up-here.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-68428000886602567882010-01-20T19:37:00.006-06:002010-01-21T03:39:34.909-06:002010-01-21T03:39:34.909-06:00I'm one of those assholes who doesn't own a television and mentions it in the first sentence. Not that I'm above television. I just got tired of paying for 500 channels of garbage when I only wanted...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=MJGB9PPEMyU:VkN-ZDMabaY:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=MJGB9PPEMyU:VkN-ZDMabaY:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=MJGB9PPEMyU:VkN-ZDMabaY:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=MJGB9PPEMyU:VkN-ZDMabaY:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/MJGB9PPEMyU" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/01/in-suck-of.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-77196177711235331162010-01-18T18:33:00.003-06:002010-01-18T18:37:16.816-06:002010-01-18T18:37:16.816-06:00I'm not going to see Avatar. Why? Because I saw it when it was called Dances With Wolves. And I saw it again when it was called The Last Samurai. Oh, and I saw the trailer. White guy is sent to...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=tAQxgGqttyo:s1J7Eepg47o:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=tAQxgGqttyo:s1J7Eepg47o:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=tAQxgGqttyo:s1J7Eepg47o:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=tAQxgGqttyo:s1J7Eepg47o:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/tAQxgGqttyo" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/01/blue-weenie.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-55668763124178975322010-01-15T14:14:00.004-06:002010-01-18T19:07:17.494-06:002010-01-18T19:07:17.494-06:00Just finished reading Last Words, George Carlin's autobiography. It is supposedly unfinished (and will forever remain so), but it makes it into the 2000's and covers most of the "pivotal moments" in...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=FnC2sjeEn7c:n1CnNAKGQ2Y:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=FnC2sjeEn7c:n1CnNAKGQ2Y:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=FnC2sjeEn7c:n1CnNAKGQ2Y:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=FnC2sjeEn7c:n1CnNAKGQ2Y:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/FnC2sjeEn7c" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/01/couple-books.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-71481994669158343622010-01-12T19:02:00.006-06:002010-01-12T20:28:51.472-06:002010-01-12T20:28:51.472-06:00Kudos to Conan for sacking up to the peacock. That's right, kids, I just managed sack, cock, and Onan in the same sentence. Behold. I have to confess that when Conan came out from behind the camera...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=2O2ld_q4FJA:bClsV4qu-ho:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=2O2ld_q4FJA:bClsV4qu-ho:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=2O2ld_q4FJA:bClsV4qu-ho:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=2O2ld_q4FJA:bClsV4qu-ho:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/2O2ld_q4FJA" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/01/its-on.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-39710674034434773712010-01-02T15:54:00.010-06:002010-01-04T12:53:58.635-06:002010-01-04T12:53:58.635-06:00I've been doing comedy for just under five years, and in that time I've learned that being a comic is not just about writing material and performing. It's about being a Tweeter, Facebooker, YouTuber...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=-_4wwS6b7MI:_VfZ3oVmtZg:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=-_4wwS6b7MI:_VfZ3oVmtZg:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=-_4wwS6b7MI:_VfZ3oVmtZg:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=-_4wwS6b7MI:_VfZ3oVmtZg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/-_4wwS6b7MI" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2010/01/ive-been-doing-comedy-for-just-under.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-21764024885752213032009-12-31T14:54:00.003-06:002009-12-31T15:17:56.786-06:002009-12-31T15:17:56.786-06:002009 was sure a crappy year, huh? Am I right, people? Am I right!? We're still at war, unemployment is over 10%, and we lost one of the great icons of American culture, Billy Mays. Maybe you lost...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=tIiiaP3P-TM:YgFEO17rYKU:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=tIiiaP3P-TM:YgFEO17rYKU:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=tIiiaP3P-TM:YgFEO17rYKU:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=tIiiaP3P-TM:YgFEO17rYKU:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/tIiiaP3P-TM" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2009/12/out-with-old.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-32124501192241309712009-12-29T10:15:00.002-06:002009-12-29T10:16:56.015-06:002009-12-29T10:16:56.015-06:001. Drink more. 2. Care less. 3. Lose 15 ounces. 4. Finish Brittany Murphy shrine. 5. End the Fed. 6. Legally change name to Fartin' Luther King. 7. The Olsen Twins, One Cup. 8. Chillax.<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=s7wpLRHoXPk:alOESui0Q-4:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=s7wpLRHoXPk:alOESui0Q-4:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=s7wpLRHoXPk:alOESui0Q-4:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=s7wpLRHoXPk:alOESui0Q-4:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/s7wpLRHoXPk" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2009/12/resolutions-for-2010.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-78151024398927551702009-12-10T16:57:00.003-06:002009-12-10T16:59:23.698-06:002009-12-10T16:59:23.698-06:00Send me $2, and I'll send you a sticker (towel not included).<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=KOOdbTUsKcY:mVzKr9uQfXg:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=KOOdbTUsKcY:mVzKr9uQfXg:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=KOOdbTUsKcY:mVzKr9uQfXg:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=KOOdbTUsKcY:mVzKr9uQfXg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/KOOdbTUsKcY" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2009/12/merch.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3394040609328979163.post-44107427615366962182009-12-07T18:33:00.004-06:002009-12-07T19:52:10.724-06:002009-12-07T19:52:10.724-06:00It's that time of year when talk shows and "evening magazine" programs dust off the bullshit they've been peddling for the past ten years and re-package it as nostalgia, the way a dog will sniff its...<br/> <br/> Visit dantessitore(dot)com to keep reading, see vids, and more.<div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=TW6PVfSZcJc:cym2mgOENzg:yIl2AUoC8zA"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=TW6PVfSZcJc:cym2mgOENzg:63t7Ie-LG7Y"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?d=63t7Ie-LG7Y" border="0"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?a=TW6PVfSZcJc:cym2mgOENzg:V_sGLiPBpWU"><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/dantessitore?i=TW6PVfSZcJc:cym2mgOENzg:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"></img></a> </div><img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/dantessitore/~4/TW6PVfSZcJc" height="1" width="1"/>DAN TESSITOREhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09528254056123887526dan@dantessitore.com0http://www.dantessitore.com/2009/12/oughts.html