It doesn’t matter whether you saw “This Ain’t Star Trek XXX.” The plots aren’t that complicated – although they do exist. Besides, you know all the characters already. You’ve just not seen them quite so naked… except in your mind. In this sequel: Sulu gets lucky!

Cash Markman’s “Sex Trek,” features a big name porn cast — including Dick Smothers Jr.! – as the Starship Intercourse heads to Deep Space St…ation 69. You can probably figure out the rest from here, but can you identify the inspirational original episodes?

Bring your favorite beverage and/or potluck contribution to Darklady’s Wonderground and enjoy comfy snuggle and play areas stocked with safer sex supplies, space for socializing, naughty toy giveaways, and a raffle benefiting Esther’s Pantry.

Bring a donation for Esther’s Pantry and receive a raffle ticket worth a chance to win a copy of “This Ain’t Star Trek XXX 2,” an assortment basket of Wet lubes, and other goodies. Wear a costume & receive a raffle ticket. Buy more tickets and earn more chances to win!

“This Ain’t Star Trek XXX: The Butterfly Effect” & “Sex Trek: Charly XXX ”
Ages 18 +
Space is limited so mandatory RSVP to Darklady@Darklady.com

Thursday, July 29th
Teleporters Begin at 6:30 pm
First Holodeck Feature at 7:15 pm

$15 individual, $25 duo, $35 trio
Darklady’s Wonderground
Portland, Oregon
Clothing Optional, Costumes Encouraged
ACCESSIBLE w/assistance for manual wheelchairs

Star Trek XXX 2: The Butterfly Effect: Kirk, Spock & Bones beam to planet Butterfly 8 and are, of course, promptly ambushed by hot female aliens. Chekov & Sulu to the rescue – except that a teleporter malfunction sends them to JFK’s Oval Office, which may or may not be a metaphor. Kimberly Kane plays The Butterfly Queen, Alexis Texas is Marilyn Monroe, and Johnny Castle is John F. Kennedy.

Star Trek XXX 2 Behind the Scenes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQj9LmQQQ9U

AUGUST EVENTS:
Thursday, August 5: Darklady’s B-Day Excursion to Cinekink, then cake & karaoke!
Wednesday, August 11: “Fisting Fundamentals & More” workshop w/Brass
Friday, August 13: Return of Darklady’s Naughty Karaoke
Wednesday, August 18: Darklady’s Hump Day Social & Game Night
Wednesday, August 25 –August 28: Cameryn Moore’s “Phone Whore”
Classic Porn Night… and more!

– Darklady
www.darklady.com
www.masturbate-a-thon.org
twitter.com/TheDarklady?

Sexual Trivia, Dr. Ruth’s Guide to Good Sex, Dirty Words, Naughty Dice,
Naked Twister, Truth or Dare, jigsaw puzzles, Mahjong, Cribbage, Trivial
Pursuit, Pictionary, Apples to Apples, and Scrabble. These are just a
few of the games available in Darklady’s Wonderground.

There are many places available to play these games, but few that will
allow you to do so while having a glass of wine and snuggling with any &
all of your lovers, wearing a French maid’s outfit, sitting naked on a
towel, kneeling at your partner’s feet, or talking openly about the
kinds of things that make shop clerks blush.

Bring you favorite game and maybe a beverage and/or potluck contribution
to Darklady’s Wonderground — and don’t just enjoy fun and games, but
also magazine, book, music, and movie options, as well as comfy snuggle
and play areas stocked with safer sex supplies. Knowing Darklady, she’ll
probably hand out condoms, lube, clothing, and novelties.

Donations for Esther’s Pantry are always welcome, but not required.
Ages 18 +
Wednesday, July 21th
7:00 pm – 11:00pm

$5 per person
Darklady’s Wonderground
Portland, Oregon
RSVP to Darklady@Darklady.com for address
ACCESSIBLE for most mobility limitations

UPCOMING EVENTS:
Thursday, July 29: Darklady’s Return of “Trek-Inspired” Potluck & Porn

– Darklady
www.darklady.com
www.masturbate-a-thon.org
twitter.com/TheDarklady

Italy’s 1980 “Spaghetti Sci-Fi” epic “The Beast in Space” will keep the camp alive with intergalactic discos, cardboard aliens, human/centaur sex, and Sirpa Lane in this long-rumored & recently discovered XXX version. Pre-show entertainment will feature JM Productions’ “America’s Best Porn Music Videos.”

Bring your favorite beverage and/or potluck contribution to Darklady’s Wonderground and enjoy comfy snuggle and play areas stocked with safer sex supplies, space for socializing, naughty toy giveaways, and a raffle benefiting Esther’s Pantry.

Bring a donation for Esther’s Pantry and receive a raffle ticket worth a chance to win a copy of “Batman XXX,” an assortment basket of Wet lubes, and other goodies. Wear a costume & receive a raffle ticket. Buy more tickets and earn more chances to win!

“Batman XXX” & “The Beast in Space”
Ages 18 +
Space is limited so mandatory RSVP to Darklady@Darklady.com

Thursday, July 15th
Bat Cave Opens at 6:30 pm
First Bat Signal Shines at 7:15 pm

$15 individual or $25 duo
Darklady’s Wonderground
Portland, Oregon
Clothing Optional, Costumes Encouraged
ACCESSIBLE for manual wheelchairs

Batman XXX: Axel Braun launches a new imprint based on comic superheroes with this lovingly true-to-the-original porn parody of the 1960s series. Braun is currently working on the next installment in the series: “Superman XXX: A Porn Parody.”

Batman XXX trailer 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD0YQoAqmrU
Batman XXX trailer 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0t0u1ofiv0&feature=related
Batman 1960s – Dance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGl6OlSczdU&NR=1

UPCOMING EVENTS:
Wednesday, July 21: Darklady’s Hump Day Game Night for Grown-Ups
Thursday, July 29: Darklady’s Return of “Trek-Inspired” Potluck & Porn?

As so many of us know, love hurts. Sometimes a little; sometimes a lot. Therefore, it’s only appropriate that this sentimental implement of discipline be not only lightly flocked in romance red – but decorated with a heart that can truly leave its mark.

But only if you practice tough love with it, of course.

This “slapper” style paddle is constructed of light suede and makes a lovely snap when it strikes… whatever flattish surface it strikes. A soft to moderate stroke will liven the nerve endings and excite the capillaries without frightening the receiver away from the experience, while a strong and solid stroke will definitely capture attention and potentially leave a heart-shaped welt or bruise to admire later.

An easily manageable 7-inch by 3-inch striking surface and 5-inch grip means that over the knee and other easy-access, close-proximity positions will benefit most from the paddle’s message of stern and decisive love.

Whether it’s just a little slap-and-tickle or a vigorous ass-beating, the Velvet Lover’s Paddle is worth having in one’s kinky toy chest.

– Exclusive review for Pipedreams.com, by Darklady –

Let’s face it, most of us have either had sex in a shower, tried to have sex in a shower, or thought about having sex in a shower. It is for this demographic (aka “pretty much everybody”) that these positioning handles are designed.

Hopefully, it’s not a shock to anyone that sex in a shower can be challenging once the warm water and hot blood get moving. Unless you’re fucking in an ADA compliant space, chances are good there will be at least a few unintended slips and slides during position changes and particularly active moments.

Even the most sure-footed sexual mountain shower goats among us occasionally find that petty nuisances like gravity, velocity, trajectory, leverage, height/weight differences, arm strength, and the like can make acting out the full Kama Sutra complex.

Fortunately, these two delightfully packaged and presented Perfect Position Handles are here to save the lay.

Light-weight and perfect for both in-home and travel use, these impressively powerful suction attachment handles will stick to nearly any flat surface, which is good news for everyone – including those of us with appropriate bath tubs and floors, but not walls or glass doors.

Included with the Perfect Position Handles is a tube of silicone “shower gel,” which is translated as “personal lubricant” on the other side of the tube. While silicone lube is wonderful in water, remember that using it with silicone toys is on the Don’t Do This At Home or Anywhere Else list. Unless you’re into expensive toys melting in the shower, of course, in which case, carry on.

If you melt your toys by accident, there’s always the free satin “love mask” to help you eroticize the experience.

– Exclusive review for Pipedreams.com, by Darklady–

Who says that bondage can’t be romantic? Only bitter old men and women who can’t find anyone to play bondage games with, that’s who!

For the rest of us, Pipedreams has created a sweetly kinky bondage kit perfect for letting that special someone know that you want to keep them close. Or at least under control.

Inside yet another example of beautiful and functional Fetish Fantasy Series’ packaging is a wickedly whimsical collection of kinky implements. Stored inside their own plastic pockets is a red, black, and white assortment of tough love toys – heavy on the love, but not devoid of toughness.

Whether you’re taking a break from badass whips and leather or just really prefer something softer and more visually accessible, the fully functional contents of this storage appropriate box should hit the spot. So to speak.

Sprinkle the silk rose petals around your room, play area, or lover to help set the ambiance and then explore the intimacies that exist in sweet power exchange.

The adjustable wrist and ankle cuffs hold as well as scarier-looking restraints, but use Velcro to stay secure and are butter soft to the touch. Further combining form with function is a set of slim attachment rings shaped like hearts. Awwww. Now, if that ain’t romantic, what is?

How about slipping the accompanying red satin blindfold over your sweetie’s eyes before positioning him or her on a red flocked inflatable heart-shaped pillow? In addition to being comfortable for them, you’ll have a better view of their fanny while swatting it playfully with the two-sided heart-shaped paddle. One side of the paddle is red leather, while the other includes a fake fur, heart-shaped insert.

The finishing touch, naturally, is a petite bottle of cherry flavored warming massage oil. Not that a certain bottom will need more warming, of course.

Although it is possible to blow the position pillow up using your own lung power, a hand pump of some sort will see results much more quickly and without the same level of exhaustion. Pipedreams offers an appropriate pump for sale separately, as well as being part of other Fetish Fantasy Series kits.

– Exclusive review for Pipedreams.com, by Darklady–

While “bondage” ball is a bit of a stretch, this body-friendly inflatable sphere has plenty of sexy potential when gripped by the right hands.

Attractively packaged in a sturdy, easy-to-open box illustrated with six position suggestion photos – none of which involve bondage – the big black sex ball can handle up to 300-pounds of lovin’ and comes with a soft fabric blindfold, a patching kit, and an incredibly useful hand pump.

What presumably makes this inflatable ball a bondage device is the rather delightful existence of two “E-Z Grip Luv Handles.” Usually bondage conjures up images of, I dunno, people who are in some way bound and thus immobilized. That’s not the case with this confection, although one can certainly use the handles as attachment points for all manner of nefarious fornication and frolicking. Nervous beginners will find the ability to simply let go of the handles reassuring.

Two of the most appealing aspects of this piece of sex furniture are its portability and storability. Whether you decide to keep the box or dispose of it, once deflated by releasing and pinching the air seal valve, the ball and its all-important pump can easily be stashed in a dresser drawer, a suitcase, a plastic shopping bag, or pretty much anywhere that doesn’t have a lot of heat or direct sunlight.

Although individual body-to-ball configurations will clearly vary, most people will find it easy to rest against a slightly-less-than-fully inflated ball. Whether facing your partner or the inflatable sex support, once you’ve grabbed onto the handles at your sides, you’ll be securely in place.

Remember: the combined weight of both partners pressed against the ball, plus any additional pressure through impact, should be taken into serious consideration when determining what activity to indulge in.

And for those who wonder, the box back assures that the Fetish Fantasy Series Inflatable Bondage Ball is “Not to be used as a floatation device.”

– Exclusive review for Pipedreams.com, by Darklady–

With “green technology” finally getting the attention it has long deserved, it’s comforting to know that the California Exotic Solar Bullet exists.

Although probably manufactured in the traditional manner, this light-weight bullet vibe comes packaged in a pleasantly earth-tone, recyclable paper box. Adding to the credibility of its “eco-friendly” claim is the fact that this quiet but impressively strong bullet vibe doesn’t need a battery, because it’s solar powered.

What this means for Gaia-loving masturbators is guilt-free play not merely within the safety of their own homes, but anywhere!

Sure, you can haul a sack of batteries into the woods or along a secluded hiking trail, but if you’d rather not carry the weight or have to worry about disposal, there’s nothing like harnessing the pleasure potential of ole Sol.

Bearing a passing resemblance to an iPod or a garage door opener, the unobtrusive black or silver solar cell recharger that powers the matching, oblong buzzball has a tiny blue LED light to let the user know when it’s ready to rumble.

Vibration lovers with minimal sun exposure or a housebound status need not fear the dark, because this easily concealable stimulator can also draw energy from indoor light sources.

-– Exclusive review for CalExotics.com, by Darklady -–

Darklady’s “Naughty Karaoke” Pre-Thon Social

Whether you plan to attend the 10th Annual Portland Masturbate-a-thon, are curious about it, or just like singing karaoke naked, you are invited to join Darklady and her Darklings during the Thursday, June 10th “Naughty Karaoke” Pre-Masturbate-a-Thon Social at Julia’s Café.

Due to the sex positivity of Julia’s Café, every Thursday in June will feature a GLBT/BDSM friendly karaoke fundraising night, with the second Thursday seeing the windows of the café covered and karaoke crooners getting as “naughty as they want to be.” Julia’s Café has a full bar and a menu with snacks, soups, sandwiches, and other tasty treats to choose from.

Thursday, June 10
7:00 pm – 11:00 pm
Ages 18 +
Free (but please tip your hostess & your KJ, Andy Mangels)

Julia’s Cafe
2130 NE Broadway
Portland, Oregon
FULLY ACCESSIBLE

OTHER JULIA’S KARAOKE NIGHTS:
Thursday, June 17 – “Karaoke Superstar” with surprise guests
Thursday, June 24 – “Bear-aoke” with Bears titleholders
www.facebook.com/l/770b7;www.JuliasCafe.com

UPCOMING DARKLADY EVENTS:
June 12: Darklady’s “Back to Basics: and what’s more basic than masturbating in a basement” 10th Annual Portland Masturbate-a-thon

– Darklady
www.darklady.com
www.masturbate-a-thon.org
twitter.com/TheDarklady

Portland, OR – May 30, 2010 – Darklady events began as house parties. Due to ongoing tension between the City of Portland and the nightclub originally selected for this year’s event, the 10th Annual Portland Masturbate-a-thon will return to its house party roots from 4:00pm – midnight on June 12th, 2010.

Located two miles from the now-unavailable nightclub (and a mere two blocks from the infamous Pirate Flag House), Darklady Estates and Wonderground will literally pack the house with sex positive socializing, non-coital sexing, and charitable fundraising.

“Back to Basics: and What’s More Basic than Masturbating in a Basement” is the new theme for this year’s soiree, which will feature Thrillhammer, Sybian, and Monkey Rocker rides by guests and porn stars Noname Jane, Amber Chase, and Sophia St. James, as well as a Real Touch demo by either a lucky guest or male porn professional Dick Tracy or Tyger Hudson.

San Francisco DJ Zulu and Portland DJ Ralphaliscious will contribute mood enhancing mixes and a wandering gypsy swing duo will provide softer sounds throughout the soiree, while the Naughty Barber offers intimate shaves, the Naughty Baker serves up oral delights, the Tarot Wizard shares glimpses into the future, and “Sola, ” April Flores’ one-woman video, adds visual inspiration.

“While it would have been wonderful to have partied in an upscale nightclub, the Darklings and I agree that bringing it back home for the 10th anniversary feels good. The Portland version of this event started in my home, so it’s appropriate to celebrate it there yet again,” Darklady explains.

“Regardless of location,” she continues, “my guests are the ultimate reason for the success of my events and I’m delighted to welcome them to my humble Estates. Returning to the historic BYOB/potluck nature of this party favorite will allow us to focus more on the delicious art of self-pleasure, including an array of innovative erotic stimulation devices. It will also leave us with more pocket money to put toward silent auction items, which will help the worthy local and national sex-positive organizations we’re supporting this year.”

A percentage of the door, in addition to all silent auction funds raised and hygiene, household, pet, and food donations collected during the event, will benefit Esther’s Pantry, the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, and the newly-formed adult-consumer focused non-profit, Free Speech Alliance.

Cost:
$60 – Street Clothes
$25 – Previous Party, Fetish, Alluring, or Dressy Attire
Bring a donation for Esther’s Pantry and get $5 off entry.

RSVP Absolutely Required
BYOB & Potluck
Lower level accessible w/assistance
Ages 21 and older only

Birthday Wishes for December – May

Current sponsors include Fascinations, Taboo Video, HotMovies, GrrlToys, X-Rated Toys, Cascade AIDS Project, and Wet.

Sponsors, silent auction donors, and others interested in contributing to or participating in the 10th Annual Portland Masturbate-a-thon are encouraged to contact Darklady for details.

PRE-THON SOCIAL: Darklady will host a free pre-thon Naughty Karaoke social on Thursday, June 10th from 7pm – 11pm at GLBT/BDSM friendly Julia’s Café, located at 2130 NE Broadway, Portland, OR. Attendees can learn more about the Portland Masturbate-a-thon and other Darklady events, as well as get as “naughty as they wanna be” while singing karaoke.

Theresa “Darklady” Reed
President
Darklady Productions, Inc.

www.Darklady.com
www.Masturbate-a-thon.org
twitter.com/TheDarklady