Date Me Dammit

Top 10 Most Amazing Pick Up Lines (Male Version)

2012-12-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? ... No? Well in that case let me introduce myself.
If I sleep on the wetspot, will you come home with me tonight?
My friends left me by myself, can I come home with you?
If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
Most people are watching the Vancouver Olympics, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
I never thought I could love to look at someone as much as I love to look at myself! Well done!
I have rediculously large feet... enough said?
My place or yours?
Hi there, my name is John, I would like to welcome you to the first day of the rest fo your life.

Do You Even Know My Name?

2012-12-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

Has this ever happened to you? You are out on a date, and half way through, you bump into a friend, and when you go to introduce them, you realize that you have completely forgot your date's name.

So maybe this has not happened to you, but it happens to me all the time! I know, pathetic! More than once I have had a girl walk out half way through because she realizes that I have no idea who she is.

So what the heck do you do about it?

To avoid this problem, I came up with a 5 simple techniques to help find out my date's name. They are not perfect, but I scraped through more than a few sticky situations with at least one, if not all of them in hand.

The 5 techniques for remembering your dates name:

1. If I am half way through a date and I realize that I have no idea what the girl's name is, I make sure to maintain eye contact during most of the date. As long as we are looking at each other, I do not have to say her name to get her attention.

2. If I do not have her phone number programmed in my phone, I will ask her to enter her details for me. I claim that it is a new phone, and that it drives me nuts everytime I try to enter information. I tell her that maybe she will have better luck than me. It always works! And bingo, I have her number stored for future reference!

3. If I do bump into a friend, I make sure to drop the secret password. "Hey [friend’s name] how was the game today?" Translation "I have no idea what my dates name is, so introduce yourself". My friend will immediately introduce him/herself so that I don't have to, and in doing so, my date will also introduce herself. Problem solved!

4. Another (more risky method) is to talk about nicknames people used to give you as a kid, in hopes of revealing their true name. You may have seen this technique used on a Seinfeld episode where Jerry has forgotten his date’s name. She tells him that her name rhymes with a sexual part of the body, leaving Jerry with only one name that he can think of - Mulva. Her name is actually Deloris. I have only been able to pull this trick off once, and I would recommend not trying it unless you are absolutely stuck.

5. The final method is the most risky, but also offers the greatest chance of getting the name correct. Ready for it!? ... Simply admit that you forgot. I have only been slapped once for this, twice the girl was okay, and five times I pretty much got the hint that the date was over. Although, with a little more wine, and a little more sweet-talk, I was able to save the evening.

Hopefully you don't find yourself in this situation too many times. But if you do, remember these 5 techniques for remembering your dates name, and keep a right hand ready to block a slap if unsuccessful.

- Happy dating everyone!

Hayden Panettiere Digs Deep - February 22, 2010

2012-12-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

"There is something in there that i just can't dig out! Dammit! now my hand smells!"

Hayden Panettiere still turns me on though, is there something wrong with me?!!

Top 10 Things Not to do on a First Date

2012-12-12T12:20:00.000-07:00

Do you even need to ask?
Ok then, here it is!

The Top 10 worst things you can do on a first date.

10. Talk about how much your date reminds you of your ex.
9. Stop halfway through the date and call home to ask your parents if you can stay out past your bedtime.
8. Ask your date if they think 5 kids is too many, or if 4 would be enough to keep you both happy.
7. Fart moments before you get in the car (believe me, it does not air out properly before you get in!).
6. Flirt with the waitsatff in hopes that you will appear more desirable.
5. Eat spicy food (refer to #7).
4. Ask if your hands look fat in this outfit.
3. Admit that you are a bit of a puker when you drink, and then proceed to get totally wasted.
2. Lick the other person's ear when they are not looking (don't ask, all I can tell you is that this doesn't end well).
1. End the date by asking for their best friend's phone number.

Try a few if you don't believe me, and let me know how it goes :)

- Happy dating everbody!

Reach Around - Jan 6, 2012

2012-01-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

"Dammit! my cheesy yawn-to-arm-around-the-shoulder move isn't working!"

Why do guys even try!!

Stuck in a Rut

2012-01-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

For those of you daters out there, you will understand full well that there is nothing worse than getting stuck in a rut. It starts out with a couple of weekends home alone, followed by a couple of months since your last real flirtatious encounter, and then (god forbid) you notice it is getting close to a year since the last time you thought you had a shot at meeting up with someone attractive.

The worst part is that this becomes cyclical. The longer you go without a date, the harder it is to actually get a date! Why does this happen? What is it that makes you all of a sudden so undesirable?

The answer is that people want what they can't have, and once vou have been on the market for a significant period of time, you are no longer a hot commodity. The opposite sex can smell desperation, and you no longer seem desirable.

Then on the flip side, after you have gone months without a date, as soon as you finally meet someone you will all of a sudden become a hot commodity. Girls or guys begin flocking around you all at once. How frustrating is that!?

After years of battling through periods of high and low volume, I became determined to sort out a solution to balancing the flow of women in and out of my life. I did not want to end up in any of those deep ruts ever again.

Through a great deal of trial and error, the solution finally occurred to me. If I wanted to be desired by women, I had to desire myself. Sounds oddly self-indulgent doesn't it? I know, and when I explain this to my friends, they usually have a laugh and call me egotistical.

But that's ok! Because at the end of the day I have been able to stabilize and in many ways, increase my dating supply.

The reason this technique works so well is because with successful application, you will be able to alter your state of mind. Desiring yourself provides self-esteem, a boost in testosterone, a heightened sense of confidence, increased endorphins, and an ability to view the world through the eyes of someone with options, not someone facing sheer desperation.

Humans can smell desperation as easily as they can sense heightened levels of confidence, and clearly one is much sexier than the other.

So how do you go about desiring yourself?

It starts right from the moment you first wake up. As soon as you open your eyes you need to smile and think to yourself, "today is going to be a great day"

When you look in the mirror before your shower, you need to look at yourself and say, "damn, you look good today. Well done!"

When you dress, put on clothes that make you feel confident and secure.

When you walk down the street, hold your head up high and smile at the pretty girls/handsome guys who pass you in the street (you will be amazed at how many will smile back).

Talk clearly when you speak to people (don't mumble!).

And when you inevitably do get some bad news or get shot down for a date, let it roll off your back knowing full well that life always sorts it self out. You, and your dating life, will be fine.

Give it a try, an honest try, for at least a couple of weeks and let me know how it goes. I am positive you will notice a significant difference in how you feel, and in how dateable the opposite sex finds you to be.

- Happy dating my friends!

What Guys Want

2011-12-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

Ok ladies, time for a short 101 on the ins and outs of what guys really want. It often seems complicated, but the reality is, guys are simple creatures. They are nowhere near as complex as they may appear.

I have broken men down into what I like to call the 5 B’s – Boobs or Butts, Beers, Brains, Bruising, and Bonding.

Boobs or Butts
Face it ladies, guys are either into boobs or butts - they love them! But don’t get discouraged if you feel less endowed. Most women default into thinking that men like either big breasts or big butts, but that is simply not the case. Yes guys likes breasts and butts, but of every size and shape. Some guys prefer huge ones, others like the medium size, and there are even those who love them small. Hard to believe, I know, but it is true.

In a recent study, sociologists found that women of all shapes and sizes were desired the various men in the study. There was no one shape or size that was desired more than the other. The magazine editors may believe that one size fits all, however, individual taste appear to rule all in the dating realm. So enjoy your assets for what they are, and be proud of who you are. This will boost your confidence, and make you more attractive to the man of your dreams. (Confidence is a characteristic that consistently ranks above beauty in sociological attractiveness studies).

Beers
In general, the man your are hoping to hook up with will have a love affair with beer. Whether this is hardwired into the male DNA, or is simply socialized into their everyday desires, it consistently ranks high on men’s list of favorite beverages.

Showing up on a first date with a 6-pack of beer, is the equivalent to a man showing up at your door with flowers and a box of candy. He will love it! But don’t just show up with any beer, spend a few extra dollars for a premium brew and win him over with your knowledge of the craft.

Brains
Believe it or not, guys do actually look for brains in a girl. The initial attraction always starts with boobs or butts, but quickly progresses to brains. If you want to have any hope of scoring a second date, you need to show off your intelligence, not hide it (as many women feel the need to do).

Don’t be sarcastic or condescending with your wisdom, that will just come across as arrogant. It is best to inject your thoughts on various topics in the same way that you would if you were out with your girlfriends. Let it flow naturally, and remain confident in what you say. There is nothing guys hate more than a girl who flip-flops her arguments in order to appear more compatible.

Bruising
Guys love sport, especially sport that involves hard physical contact. This may not be your cup of tea, but it is something that you should try to support as best as you can. If your guy is really into a specific sport, give him the time and freedom to watch the games that he would have regularly watched. Don’t demand attention from him during the game, and try your best to not schedule a date during the finals. This is one of the greatest keys to relationship success.

Bonding
At the end of the day, guys feel the same way as you do about relationships. They are looking for a bond that they can share, and a relationship that is something special. Of course, there are players out there who just want to have sex, but you know women who want that too.

The guys who are looking for a relationship will be going through all the same emotions as you, even if they don’t seem to show it. Give your man a break and let him open up in his own time. Offering your guy some space to breathe, and accepting that he doesn’t always express his emotions is the final key to understanding what men want.

-Safe dating everyone!

Image: Andy Newson / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Is Text Flirting a Form of Cheating?

2011-10-31T17:21:00.000-06:00

I had a girlfriend once accuse me of "sex texting" with another girl. At the time, I wasn't really sure what "sex texting" was, but I see now that it is a growing phenomenon.

People are spending more and more time flirting through text messages than ever before, and why not? It is easy, less risky, more intriguing, exciting and everything else great that comes along with what most people perceive as harmless flirting.

But is it harmless?

I guess that depends. If you are single, then of course it is harmless (as long as you don't become abusive or rude). In actual fact the, texting can become an integral part of the dating strategy.

I remember getting girls numbers under the harmless guise of keeping in touch about school projects and other class related activities. After a series of late night texts, I was able to accelerate the conversations into steamy chats that took our relationship to a completely new level.

I could advance about 2-3 stages of the dating game without ever actually having a face-to-face conversation. So when we did finally get together, a lot of the awkwardness was well out of the way, leaving nothing but the awesome pure dating excitement that we all desire.

But what happens when the person you are texting has a significant other? This changes the game a bit, and all of a sudden, these escalating, steamy, late night texts become an issue.

Now I have heard many arguments about how text flirting is harmless, and maybe it is. But how do we know for sure?

I would argue that if you are having a text conversation with someone other than your partner, and would be nervous to share a copy of those texts with that partner, you are likely doing something wrong.

If your heart races a little bit when you see a text from someone other than your partner, there is likely something going wrong.

If you find the texts are starting to come from the person when they go out drinking, there is definitely a problem. When you become a part of someone’s regular list of drunken texts, then you are most likely a person that they are interested in. The texts will get more risqué, eventually your partner will find one, and the whole jig will be up.

In summary, I would agree that there are many cases where text flirting is in fact harmless. It is nice to know that someone thinks your worthy of flirting with. The problem is that unlike the pre-texting social arena, where flirting was limited to only a few social interactions each week, text flirting is available 24/7. This makes it more likely to become a gateway to more seductive conversations.

Just my two cents... What are your thoughts?

How Soon is too Soon to Call After a First Date?

2011-10-27T11:18:00.000-06:00

This is definitely one of the most debated subjects in the history of dating. How soon is too soon to call after a date!? The fear is that if you call too soon, you might appear desperate, and if you wait too ling you may appear not interested. So how do you know what is an appropriate period of time? I have created a simple formula for calculating the amount of time to wat. Follow it and you will never have to ponder this age-old question again.

The After-Date-Call-Wait-Time Formula is extremely scientific so be sure to accurately consider all variables before applying to your circumstance. The formula relies on 5 variables: length of time since last serious relationship, your gender, length of the date, how the date ended, future expectations.

Standard 12 hours + LR + G + LD + DE + FE = T (hrs) Amount of time in hours until first phone call after the first date.

Please note: This formula is obviously for the daters who want to pursue a relationship. For those in the category of one-night-stand, just smile and move on. No call necessary!

Length of time since last serious relationship (LR)
A common mistake people make right after a relationship has ended, is to jump right back into another one. This is of course a huge mistake! So how does this affect the formula?
Less than 1 month since last relationship = 12
Less than 3 months = 6
Less than 6 months = 3
6 months+ = 0

Your gender (G)
It makes a difference! Guys who call too soon appear needy, and girls who call too soon appear demanding. However, when it comes to the possibility of getting laid, guys are much more forgiving. Therefore, we assign different values.
If you are a Dude = 12
If you are a Chick = 6

Length of the date (LD)
This is an important aspect to consider, because the length of a first date will often indicate how interested either of the parties are. You may have an excuse for why the first date was shorter than usual, but it is just that, an EXCUSE.
1-2 hours = 24
2-3 hours = 12
3-4 hours = 6
4-5 hours = 3
5 hours+ = 0

How the date ended (DE)
Could there be a better indicator of call wait time? Nough said!
Handshake = 24
Hug = 12
Kiss = 6
Sex = 0

Future expectations (FE)
This is the most important factor because it really depends on what you are hoping to achieve by following up the date with a phone call.
Dunno yet, just gonna see how it goes = 24
I like him/her, and will likely ask them out again = 12
Looking for something casual, but comitted = 6
Thinking that this could be the one = 0

Now all you have to do is plug your results into the formula (be sure to include the 'Standard 12 hours' wait time) and see what number you get. This number equals total hours that you should wait before calling.

If you get a number higher than 36, just move on, this is not the guy/girl for you.
If you get a number closer to 18, you may very well have found someone you will spend some serious time with..

There we go, the age-old question of when is too soon to call has been sorted.

Happy dating!

Top 10 Reasons Why Relationships Fail

2011-10-16T13:57:00.000-06:00

Most people will go through a variety of breakups throughout the course of their lives. Some are easy to get over, some are easy to get under, and others seem to destroy the very fabric of your being.

So why do relationships even have to end? You probably thought it was going pretty well, right? WRONG!

The reality is, that if the relationship ended, somebody did something wrong. Unintentionally or not, a relationship ends when one or more persons decides that you are simply no longer a match.

It may not be your fault, or it actually could be your fault. The only way to truly know is by scanning through this list to see if you did any one or more of the following things. If so, you may want to reconsider your strategy in the next relationship.

If you don't fall in any of the following Top 10's, then hey, you are probably not the reason. And when they gave you the classic, "it's not you, it's me." they may have actually meant it.

The Top 10 Reasons Why Relationships Fail

#10. You were caught cheating

#9. You call every night to make sure your lover made it home safe. (If you are thinking, "what's wrong with that?" you might as well stop reading now)

#8. After only a couple months of dating, you started farting under the covers

#7. Your best friend always hangs out with both of you, even on Friday nights. (Friday is DATE night people! Not, hang with your best friend who you feel sorry for because thay don't have anyone.)

#6. You show up randomly at the other persons work saying that you wanted to surprise them. (The reality is that you were checking in to make sure there was no mid-day hanky panky going on)

#5. You forced the other person to go to your church every Sunday, even though they are not religious.

#4. You obsess about everything! (So not cool, and seriously annoying)

#3. You work more than 10 hours everyday, and even on weekends.

#2. You decided that sex is something that should be saved for special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas.

#1. By far the biggest reason why relationships fail. (Whether you want to hear it or not). You let yourself go. (Weight gain, hair where it shouldn't be, skipping showers etc. It all adds up people!)

Now that we have cleared that up, it is time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on to the next relationship (or possibly rebound). There are tons of single people out there, so enjoy yourself!

It will only be a matter of time before you wind up in a relationship all over again.

-Safe dating my friends!

Dating Advice for Travelers

2011-09-28T13:27:00.000-06:00

Planning a trip overseas? A vacation, or possibly a backpacking trip? If you leave the airport single, I can almost guarantee that you will not return the same way.

You may not return with the love of your life, or even anyone at all, but the likelihood is that you will meet someone while vacationing abroad. It is a symptom known as "Dating TraveLeration", where the traveler becomes inexplicably sexually and emotionally liberated.

There is just something about being in a different country that allows people to exercise their hedonistic side. They get rid of their old hang-ups, leave the emotional baggage at home, and allow themselves to become sexually and emotionally honest possibly for the first time in their life.

Just check out a Girls Gone Wild video for proof. And it is not only the young people. 63% of single American's surveyed reported having a fling (however innocent) while travelling, at some point in their adult life.

Sociologists have linked this to the culture of travel, where people get the sense from resorts and advertising that "anything goes". This sinks into the brain and helps people get over their socially imposed limitations around sex and relationships. But hey, why not? If this is what humans need to allow for pleasure and relaxation, then I say go for it! Just be safe!

Given that this article is about dating advice for travelers, I should add in some of what I was supposed to be talking about.

If you want to screw round with the locals, by all means, but don't find yourself alone in an alley, or in a car, or somewhere elsewhere there is no method of escape. Although it is not common, there are the rare cases where locals take advantage of naive tourists. Do us all a favor, and do not become another statistic.

Use protection. I know, I know, this is so overdone, but the reality is travelers report using condoms far less than their non-travelling counterparts do. Don't come back pregnant, or having gotten someone pregnant, it will really ruin those precious vacation memories.

Try not to fall in love. Vacations and travel are romantic, but they are not reality. Everything on vacation is good and happy, but that person who you fall in love with while travelling is likely not the same person when they return home to reality. In the face of mounting bills, long work hours, and stressful traffic, they will likely show their normal side, the side you did not see on vacation.

These are the main points to remember, you can likely fill in the rest. Enjoy the sun, the sand, and the great cocktails by the beach. Enjoy your hedonism too, but just do not let it ruin the trip.

Safe travels!

Biting the Boob - August 19, 2010

2010-08-19T23:42:00.005-06:00

"Dammit! All I said was that my boob was itchy!"

Aggressive... I like that!

Male vs Female - Definitions

2010-08-19T23:35:00.001-06:00

Women, ever wonder why men just don’t seem to get it? Men, ever wonder why women always tell you they don’t get it? Well it turns out men and women really are from two different planets, and they speak a completely different language! Take the following translation errors:

Vulnerable:
Female: opening up emotionally
completely and fully
Male: Playing Ice Hockey without a helmet

Commitment:
Female: a foreseeable future of marriage and children
Male: not trying to pick up a women while out with one’s girlfriend

Communication:
Female: the sharing of one’s thoughts and emotions
Male: Calling at 3am drunk to say you have just made it to Vegas with your buddies

Flatulence:
Female: A disgusting by-product of digestion.
Male: an endless source of entertainment, self-expression, and male bonding.

Remote Control:
Female: A device to change the TV channel from one to another
Male: a device for scanning through ALL channels every two minutes.

Statistically Speaking... Men are Different than Women!

2010-07-22T00:20:00.003-06:00

It is no secret, men and women are different. We act different, talk different, and best of all look different. But until now, most of these difference have just been what we observe, with no real statistically validity.

That is until DatemeDammit! did some digging and found the hard science to prove our claims. Men are different than women! Check it out...

Women talk almost 3 times as much as men according to a book by Psychologist Dr. Luan Brizendine, who found that women speak roughly 20,000 words per day while men speak on average only 7,000. Is this really a big surprise?

Men go dumb when in the presence of attractive women, according to Psychologists at Radboud University in The Netherlands. The researchers believe this is because men use an excessive amount of brain functioning trying to impress beautiful women, which means they have little left for other tasks. Women on the other hand, do not experience the same mind numbing reaction in the presence of handsome men.

Women experience more pleasure from men with big wallets, according to Dr. Thomas Pollet, a Newcastle University Psychologist. His research has found that the wealthier the man, the more frequently his partner will have orgasms. Men had a similar reaction to size, but it had nothing to do with a woman's purse.

Men find women’s voices more complex and difficult to understand report researchers at Sheffield University in Northern England. Due to differences in the size and shape of the vocal cords and larynx between men and women, and also due to a greater natural 'melody' in women’s voices, men struggle to process the female tone and interpret what is being said. So when a man says he didn’t hear you, he may likely be telling the truth! Either that, or he couldn't possibly process the nearly 20,000 words his partner spoke that day.

The Real Deal - July 8th, 2010

2010-07-07T00:37:00.003-06:00

"He has a lot of money Dammit!"

Wait a second... girls are attracted to guys who have money?

... I'm screwed.

Sex Before Marriage is OK! survey says

2010-07-06T01:35:00.006-06:00

In a recent survey conducted by Weddingbells magazine, it was found that 90% of women believe that it is okay to have sex before marriage. Leaving only the most devout Catholics, Mormons, and safe sex extremists touting the word abstinence.

While this may not appear to be a significant finding, it challenges the long held ideals that sex before marriage is somehow sinful and morally wrong. It is this reporter’s opinion that a new liberation of sex and love will cut psychiatric bills in half, as people are finally able to express openly what they have been expressing privately for years. Sex is good, sex is great, sex is fun!

Agreeably the issue of sex should never be taken lightly, and the risk of pregnancy is always going to be an overriding factor, however the reality is that women and sex are liberated. And it is about damn time!

Too Much of a Good Thing... - June 26th, 2010

2010-06-26T16:51:00.002-06:00

"Dammit! I think it's stuck this way!"

I was always under the impression that this only happened to guys?

A Wedge Between Us - June 1, 2010

2010-05-29T17:04:00.003-06:00

"Dammit! Landa! That's in there deep!"

Note to self - don't go on date with girl who has constant wedgie issues - end note.

When is a Good Time to Lean in for a Kiss?

2010-05-25T13:03:00.004-06:00

You wouldn’t think that this is rocket science, but if there is anything that Blind Date, or a recent episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker has taught me, is that most guys, and even some girls just don’t get it. Never fear, Date Me Dammit! To the rescue with some proper dating and relationship advice.

If you are on a first or second date, and things seem to be going well, you will likely ask yourself, “When is a good time to lean in for a kiss?” at some point, right? Of course you will! Nothing would end the date better than landing a smooch from that hottie across the table. But you have to time it right!

First off, don’t get too overzealous. Let the date progress in its own way. Don’t start prodding and probing your date about whether they like you or not. This may seem like the safe play, but the reality is that it makes you look needy and desperate. Relax, breathe, and try to get a vibe for how well you feel things are going.

If you have established that there is a little bit of chemistry going on, then begin to lean toward your date during conversation. If you are out to dinner lean forward on the table, if you are in a club, lean in pretending that you are having trouble hearing. Do whatever you have to do to position your bodies closer together. This is extremely important for getting an understanding of your date’s body language.

Once you are in close proximity, begin observing the body language of your date. Are they moving away from you as soon as they have said what they wanted to say, or are they staying in close during conversation. Do they have their arms crossed, or are they open and receptive to you as you speak. Does your date look into your eyes, or are they always looking around the room. Read the clues people! Get past your own ego and read the clues! Your date’s body language can tell you everything!

Do not lean in for a kiss unless your lips are a minimum of 2 feet away from each other at the time of approach! I have seen some people try to get the first date kiss from across the table, when their date is fully leaning back in their own chair. What ends up happening is that the one person leans all the way in, while the other remains seated back. There is no way to pretend you had any other intention than going for a kiss, and when the other person rejects you, you are left looking ridiculous and embarrassed.

If they are being very receptive and open during conversation - whether it be at the club, pub restaurant, car, movies, or even the front door at the end of the date - then you may have a shot. This is the time to make your move. Wait for that moment when you feel the electricity between your bodies build, and lean in ever so slightly. Pause to see if your date is doing the same, if not you still have a chance to make it look like you swayed forward a little off balance. Master the recovery, and you can save face.

If your date is also beginning to lean in, then this is the moment to go for it! This is the point of no return. Lean in and softly press your lips against your date’s. Don’t drive straight for the tungue, make it sweet and sensual. Follow the advice of the eternal date doctor “Hitch” and remember that 80% of people will judge the likelihood of a successful relationship by the feeling they get during the first kiss. Don’t muck it up! And don’t get all slobbery and toungy!

A first kiss is all about feeling, not ego. If you want your ego stroked, you will think everyone wants to kiss you. The result is a lot of bruised ego! If you want a real moment under the stars, wait for the feeling, wait for the moment, wait for the sensual lust, and the rest will follow.

-Safe dating!

Just Not That Cool - May 22, 2010

2010-05-22T15:07:00.004-06:00

"Dammit! All the chicks want a piece of the big dude!"

You know what they say... sexy is as sexy does.

In this case... it doesn't.

My Second Date Was Not So Great

2010-05-18T11:22:00.002-06:00

It was only a short while ago that I found myself on the worst second date of my life. Everything my date said seemed absolutely asinine, her breath smelled like cigarettes, and she ate like an troll. How could I have been so blind? The first date seemed to go so well.

It turns out that I am not alone. I have heard countless stories from other daters confirming the same phenomenon. Some call it “First Date Syndrome”, some call it the “First Date Hallucinations”, I call it “Shallow Hal Effect”. Fore, like Shallow Hal, you are caught in a world of illusion.

The reason why my second date was not so great is because the first date was not real. It was firmly based on a fantasy date that I had built up in my mind It was the image of the perfect partner that I fell in love with, not the actual person sitting across the table from me.

Basically, she could do no wrong!

Every word, every glance, every smile in my direction was pure heaven. Not because she was an actual descendants from above, but because I built her up in my mind to be such.

It is actually a syndrome of desperation, a syndrome that I was lonely and desperately searching for someone to fill that void. Under these conditions people will often find that the not-so-subtle annoyances can be overlooked in order to satisfy their overriding goal of finding a mate. My situation was no different.

If you have experienced this too, I assure you it is normal. It does not make you deranged, you don’t need to cower in fear of the repercussions. The only real downside is that once you do finally escape from your hallucination, you discover what the person Is truly like, and often it ain’t pretty.

In my case, I found out about 3 minutes after I picked her up from her apartment. Within minutes of getting into the car she asked if I minded if she smoked, then went on to complain about the calluses on her feet, followed by an actual demonstration of the reasons why pantyhose never quite fits right.

When I thought long and hard, I realized that she had done very similar things on our first date. The only difference now was that I had opened my eyes and I was seeing the world through a different lens. The rest of the night was not so pretty.

We all go through it, we all survive, it is part of the dating game. Love, and more importantly, desperation, can have amazing effects on the human mind. Just be sure to keep it in check when possible.

-Safe Dating My Friends!

Hot Girls Like to Stare at Breasts Too! - May 4, 2010

2010-05-04T20:04:00.004-06:00

"Dammit! I never knew I liked breasts so much!"

Is it just me, or is this one of the best Weekly Dammits! we have ever had?

How Do I Look Attractive for a First Date?

2010-05-03T13:06:00.002-06:00

It is a fact, good-looking people go on more first dates. This makes sense. The better looking you appear, the more likely someone will be attracted to you, and the more likely they will go out of there way to ask you out.

So the question remains, "How do I look attractive for a first date?"

Don't worry, DatemeDammit! would never leave you hanging. We will guide you through the process and make sure you are looking your best for this most important occasion. The steps work for both guys and girls, so keep reading folks!

Step 1 - Wear clothes that fit!
The worst thing that you can do is wear something that is either too loose, or too tight. A suit that is too wide, pants that are too long, shirts that are too tight, all serve to make your body look absolutely appalling.

Some women might feel that wearing a shirt that is too small might actually be an advantage. The reality is, it is not. By leaving something to the imagination, you will actually rev your date's engine much higher, than letting it all hang out.

Step 2 - Wear colors that are flattering
Black is always the safe bet. It is slimming, sleek, sexy, and makes people feel comfortable. Red is generally a no-no, unless you actually look really good in the color. In this case, you should probably ask a few very "honest" friends to be sure. Vertical stripes will never die, and horizontal ones will make you look wide. Blue always looks good with blue eyes, so that is another safe bet.

Step 3 - Add a bit of height
If you are not particularly tall, you may want to wear something that gives you a bit of a boost. Heals can really make women's legs look long and slim, while Dockers can usually give a man the extra height he desires. Tall people are just attractive... I don't know what it is.

Step 4 - Add some color to your face
When you look in the mirror and ask yourself, "How do I look attractive for a first date?”, you should always consider how white the winter months have made you. For many people, it is shockingly white. With a little bit of self-tanner, or a week in the tanning beds, you can add just the right amount of color to make your face look handsome/pretty again. Color helps define your cheekbones, trim your jaw, hide your double chin, and bring out your eyes. Trust us, get a tan!

Step 5 - Exude confidence
Confident people get way more dates than people who are self-conscious. It is as simple as that. Hold your head up high, talk highly of yourself without getting too egotistical, walk with the swagger that says, "I am hot stuff!" and be proud of who you are. This is the most vita step on how to look attractive on a first date.

-Safe dating my friends!

The Top 10 Common Myths About Female Orgasm

2010-04-30T12:36:00.002-06:00

There is no short supply of myths about the female orgasm. So DatemeDammit! has decided to do away with the most common ones. Enjoy!

The Top 10 Female Orgasm Myths

1. A woman must have an orgasm to feel sexually satisfied.

TRUTH: Most women would agree that orgasm is the icing on the cake, but the truth is, it is not necessary. Many women report feeling just as satisfied after sex, even without orgasm. They often find that the emotional aspect is just as rewarding as the physical

2. Vaginal orgasms are better than clitoral orgasms.

TRUTH: Every woman is different, and have varying preferences when it comes to orgasm. For some, vaginal intercourse is the only way that they can reach orgasm, while for others; they require manual stimulation of the G-Spot. It all comes down to knowing your body and what your body likes.

3. A circumcised penis decreases a woman’s ability to experience orgasm.

TRUTH – A circumcision has absolutely nothing to do with how a woman experiences orgasm. The reality is that a circumcision only removes a tiny portion of the skin at the front of the penis, and will have no effect on how you experience sex with a man.

4. Condoms affect a woman’s ability to orgasm.

TRUTH: Condoms come in so many shapes and sizes that even if there is one brand that reduces your sensitivity, you can always try one of the more extreme kinds in order to enhance your orgasmic experience. Many people report ribbed condoms as an effective method for increasing sexual excitement

5. The larger the penis, the greater the chance of female orgasm.

TRUTH: There are hardly any nerve endings in the far end of the vagina, so size truly does not make a difference. Given that the G-Spot is located about two inches deep within the vagina, the average-sized penis can stimulate it very easily. So what it really comes down to is how well he uses the size that he has.

6. A Women's desire for orgasm is not as strong as a man’s

TRUTH: Consider that a woman's clitoris contains as many nerves as the head of a man's penis, but are compacted into a much smaller area. The sensations she feels there can be very intense. Some women are also able to achieve multiple orgasms, whereas men are not as well equipped to do so.

7. Women Need it Hard and Fast to Achieve Orgasm

TRUTH: Every woman is different, and every woman requires different stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. The reality is that for some women, simple fondling the nipples can be enough to reach orgasm, while for others it can take hours of G-Spot stimulation.

8. Most Women Don’t Masturbate

TRUTH: 82% of women report having tried masturbation at least once in their life. While it is not for everyone, it can be an effective means of reaching orgasm on a regular basis.

9. All Females Can Have Multiple Orgasms

TRUTH: Some women will experience multiple orgasms on a regular basis, while for others this may never occur. The recovery time required for additional orgasms is often very short for females, but can be as long as 24 hours. It is perfectly normal to only achieve one orgasm on a regular basis.

10. Females cannot ejaculate.

TRUTH: Many people believe that women do not ejaculate. This is a myth; women do ejaculate, it is a non-lubricating fluid that is simply wet. It is a relatively new acknowledgment within the scientific community; however, there is plenty of evidence to support the claim.