tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011Fri, 08 Jul 2011 14:32:43 +0000movingSneak Attackmisbehaviorkeith crowdersurfingunfortunate eventsI will be a cat lady so bite mechangemarriagerelationshipsbreak-upsdrunk textingmy sanitytext messaginginspirational thoughtsdigitssleepShawdon't read if you don't likehookerspeeing my pantsshould i censor myselfcoolnessTMIhappinessdatingdiningmay I borrow a cup of sugar?actually nothing to do with mepathological liarsViagranavyDCwe were never dating so leave me alonecrude and lewd behaviorcreepslunch gone awryassholesmissed connectionsbirthdayvacationgirls night outexposedcollegeconceitedthe airport pick-updespair that i spend all day in an officetrue liesfriendshipFridaystalkerseatingtruth-oh so wicked truthflakinessCIAweirdo menhangoversYum'shabitslove15 Rialate night confessionsdebaucheryhttp://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)Blogger88125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-1355850966880758434Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:56:00 +00002009-08-26T15:57:12.696+01:00I am really trying to switch over to WordPress (keithcrowdercia.wordpress.com). However, my stubborn nature demands I do it all by myself. Getting the blog posts over was easy peasy. It’s the “making it look nice” feminine thing that is killing me! Also, how do I get wordpress to accept the domain name I bought? Wouldn’t we all like it if I was www.desireeaubigny.com?I will be up an running sooon.http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/08/wordpress-switch.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-1455920316022961092Fri, 21 Aug 2009 17:16:00 +00002009-08-21T18:56:43.305+01:00I am from Chicago. I effing love Chicago. Last night proved to me that I love DC even more. Don't get me wrong the Chi has some unmistakable, incredible charm. Growing up in Chicago (ok, the greater Chicagoland area but 5 minutes from Rogers Park, I swear!) I appreciate the city so much every time I go back. The last two times I even questioned the state of my DC affairs. Should I live in DC whenhttp://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/08/at-home-why-i-love-dc.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-4284348916421586332Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:26:00 +00002009-08-19T20:04:18.400+01:00Today I totally farted at work. Not in the gas passing way, though. In the brain/judgement way. No smell, still gross.I have this problem, some people call it gullibility and others call it implicit trust. I honestly, just can't deal with pushy people on the phone. So when they are lying to me on top of being pushy I am at a complete loss! Would you mess with this girl?I didn't think so. For somehttp://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/08/work-fart.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-1957193375480061272Tue, 18 Aug 2009 10:25:00 +00002009-08-18T12:53:49.089+01:00break-upsrelationshipsassholesMy beloved cousin broke up with her boyfriend John, who I basically hated, this weekend. Thank hallelujah! I mean, I feel kinda bad for her. Although, she did the dumping on him, she has been reduced to a blubbering fool. When I broke up with my First Serious Boyfriend there was no crying, pleading text messages or copycatting of Facebook status updates (yes whenever he posts a status update she http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/08/first-serious-break-up.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-4729795446802851066Sun, 09 Aug 2009 01:38:00 +00002009-08-09T02:54:26.871+01:00relationshipsbirthdaypathological liarsThanks be to the dating puppetmaster controlling the loins of all who lustfully warm each others beds. Yes, yes. Scarlett and G.I. Joe have broken up. Actually, she sent him packing back to his mama. Literally. I am not close enough with her to delve into the full details, it is quite recent. Hopefully, in the future I will learn more about the circumstances leading to her kicking him out of his http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/08/pleasing-news-in-friend-land-other.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-9006042873390258223Fri, 07 Aug 2009 15:11:00 +00002009-08-07T16:24:46.449+01:00And what are you doing tonight?Usually, a one trick pony Desiree Aubigny will be making an appearance at THE Blogger Happy Hour, tonight and for one night only. Maybe.So get on your best kicks and flashiest "yes I am a blogger" look because we are going to boogie down tonight.Thanks to Lexa, Lilu, and Restaurant Refugee for hosting this happy meeting of bloggy-type minds!!! Confession... I am http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/08/meet-desiree.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-478553649061426333Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:59:00 +00002009-08-04T22:02:57.736+01:00relationshipspathological liarsClearly, I have a little experience with the world of pathological liars. Not everyone is as blessed as I am. Well, I am blessed now because I can recognize the curse of a liar-liar-pants-on-fire from a mile away. My problem is I have a friend who is dating a pathological liar. Let's call my friend Scarlett, like from Gone With the Wind. Her boyfriend has a totally generic name like Matt or some http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/08/when-your-friend-is-dating-pathological.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-4879456070754416935Mon, 03 Aug 2009 21:47:00 +00002009-08-03T23:31:20.685+01:00relationshipspathological liarsOn August 2nd, 2008, I snapped. A couple days before, Monday, July 28th, I called my then boyfriend Keith to talk to him about the awkward weekend we had spent visiting my childhood friend in Raleigh, North Carolina. The trip had been odd. So, Keith broke up with me, over the phone. Apparently, he had wanted to break up with me at the Avett Brothers concert we went to, and back at my friend's http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/08/first-day-of-new-year.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-3256552877146947221Fri, 31 Jul 2009 04:55:00 +00002009-07-31T14:02:09.236+01:00relationshipsYesterday, I told y'all some great peeing stories and gave you a sweet pic of this off-white couch on which I crashed many a night when I started dating my First Serious Boyfriend (aka the guy I dated all through college). Well, the night we met it was instantaneous clicking and I was so in to him. Like puppy dog love x 10. That fated night will never be forgotten by my iron trap memory (it's http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/07/couch.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-923444660444666661Thu, 30 Jul 2009 17:28:00 +00002009-07-30T20:43:46.786+01:00As my friend Lilu over at Live It, Love It says:Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!Now get ready, my darlings, for the ever popular, yet gravely feared, TMI THURSDAYS…I am http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/07/tmi-thursday-couch-peeing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-3922329129308354112Tue, 28 Jul 2009 18:34:00 +00002009-07-28T20:13:45.416+01:00relationshipsdespair that i spend all day in an officemarriageI have been wanting to post, for ages. This freelance work is starting to get a little crazy and be out of the house (AT WORK) until 10pm is cutting into my free-time. It has made me think about marriage. Is it suddenly ok to be a workaholic and never around if you are married? People who are dating seem to make more of a effort to carve out time with each other. It's like when I was dating the http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/07/mad-world.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-6284072584873653965Fri, 10 Jul 2009 18:33:00 +00002009-07-10T20:11:11.683+01:00I am most definitely in a better and less pensive mood today. I went and got my hair done and talked to my stylist for two hours about all the random stuff going on in my life. She was the first person I ever told about this blog. You see when I broke up with the Pathological Liar the first thing I did was go out and chop all my hair off. So I went from this:To this:I was changing my identity http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/07/f-is-for-fun-and-friday-but-will-it.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-9090252195713952796Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:37:00 +00002009-07-10T02:39:25.825+01:00I don't mean to be depressing today but I need to tell the story of Willa. I don't talk about her much because I always cry, like I did last night. Subsequently, very few people know how much she touched and changed my life.When I was living and going to college in Colorado I was a nanny. I posted an ad on Craig's List and the next day I got an email from a couple who would soon be deemed my "http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/07/remembering-willa.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-5244267522661599512Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:42:00 +00002009-07-08T16:15:27.000+01:00inspirational thoughtshappinessI woke up this morning to check and see if Prince of Petworth posted the pic of me in Italy wearing a PoP shirt (I am a loser). Sure enough, he did! Even more welcome, as I felt incredibly scummy and gross was the response on the page. Totally unexpected, with a dose of pick-me-up that might inspire me to shave my legs today (I get lazy in the shower). I typically don't feel like a "cute girl" http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/07/anon-1207.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-6148246339020266094Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:58:00 +00002009-07-07T16:49:43.192+01:00Or what it would be like if I lived in Italy, instead of vacation for a week where I drooled over amazing eye candy. It got me thinking about a few things. Particularly dating Italian men in comparison to American men. Are Italian men better? Could you get over being second fiddle to his mom for the hot Italian-ness of his being?They have eyelashes a mile long, bronze tans, and graceful swimmers http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/07/ode-to-dating-italian-men.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-5418647917359903099Sat, 27 Jun 2009 14:48:00 +00002009-06-28T14:31:17.569+01:00vacationTMIdon't read if you don't likeSince I will be incognito on a beach somewhere I am slapping you with the week in advance. It may be a lot to handle so feel free to consume in small doses, in the meantime... Goodbye DC. Hello Italy. Beach, Food, Wine. Yay! WYR WednesdayI would much rather watch Two Girls One Cup on repeat for 2 hours while eating chocolate ice cream in a room that reeks of baby diarrhea BECAUSE gargling water http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/06/week-in-advance.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-2664871519131980676Sat, 27 Jun 2009 14:11:00 +00002009-06-27T15:43:17.101+01:00my sanityDCOn Monday, I am leaving the country for the first time since 2000. I am a little bit nervous about the flight. It's not like I haven't flown about a hundred times in my life, it's just crossing the pond,  on Air France no less. I have an uncle who is so afraid to fly he always sails via the QE2 to England whenever he travels to Europe. He has always been the butt of jokes for his crazy and http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/06/here-comes-vacation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-8975336708288660831Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:30:00 +00002009-06-26T16:24:48.923+01:00my sanityinspirational thoughtsTMII missed TMIT! And I had written this awful tale of a post in advance... Darn! I think it might have had something to do with spending most of my day yesterday in line as the passport office otherwise known as WORSE THAN THE DMV BY A MILLION. Who knew so many unruly juvie candidates could exist in one room?It was actually quite sad, in the last week I have had two experiences that made me think http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/06/hating-on-kids.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-7529334334559733451Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:18:00 +00002009-06-19T16:32:55.043+01:00Happy Friday! I am here to tell you some things about Desiree today that you may not know... 1. I love, love, LOVE to talk. I gab a lot. 2. In more light hearted social situations (anywhere work isn't going to come up, basically, and sometimes where work does come up) I tend to think a little bit *less* before I speak. 3. That is a deadly combination.Examples:1. Monday night, UFO (unidentified http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/06/one-where-i-learn-to-bite-my-tongue.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-7541446171715908434Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:33:00 +00002009-06-10T21:04:12.171+01:00happinessbreak-upsrelationshipsIt seems we are out of the woods. Wellllll, fingers crossed (I am doomed). You see, it so happens I am dating an ornery ass, which I guess makes sense since I am a spiteful bitch. I mean, it all works out in the end...My great friend Will has pointed out, I am learning my limits and how far they can be pushed and prodded before I might snap. He also knows me well enough to understand my big MO, Ihttp://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/06/getting-over-hump-on-humpday.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-4432019011566792453Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:48:00 +00002009-06-08T16:02:10.883+01:00I will be a cat lady so bite medatingrelationshipsloveSo my first attempt at something resembling a real relationship (since the pathological liar mistakey-poo) seems to be finally hitting some bumps in the road. It's just ridiculous. Jack followed me out last night on what was basically a charity mission meet-and-greet, to "protect" me. Let's just say I could have fully taken care of myself. Of course he had a miserable time, so why the fuck did hehttp://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/06/big-trouble-in-little-china.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-9141937669205659293Sun, 07 Jun 2009 15:10:00 +00002009-06-07T16:33:08.085+01:00I know it is practically noon, but I am just overcoming the effects of a Ben's Chili Bowl induced coma. I went to Wonderland for like ten seconds last night and then had a *light bulb* revelation... I have never been to the Gibson! I have wanted to go for ages but just never got my act together. SO, thinking to myself ah well Jack and I are just a pair, we will get in easily even at 11 on a http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/06/under-thumb.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-7868275684696293755Wed, 03 Jun 2009 18:36:00 +00002009-06-03T20:17:34.532+01:00datingrelationshipsdon't read if you don't likeThree cheers for the roommate disaster being over! So glad that I don't have to put up with the possibility of being SHOT or something of the like. I should be overly ecstatic but there is just something amiss that I cannot put my finger on.We all know about the debacle that ensued when my parents googled me and my subsequent disappearance from this blog but I need to be back. I miss this outlet.http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/06/something-is-not-right.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-521905178618321260Fri, 29 May 2009 01:22:00 +00002009-05-29T02:53:44.764+01:00DCdebaucheryTMIdon't read if you don't likeI don't have the balls to participate today... Mostly, because it would take a fair amount of racking my brain to find a story I am not too ashamed to tell. Well, I suppose I should update on the FANTABULOUSNESS of my life (I swear, it's amazing). I have started to work for myself, as of late, and as a much loved consequence I enjoy more free time and more money. Imagine that! I am going to Italyhttp://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/05/different-type-of-tmi.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7567465832645504011.post-1584828143740065732Thu, 21 May 2009 14:49:00 +00002009-05-21T16:28:58.796+01:00I have been thinking about it for a couple weeks now... And when my favsy whispered sweet nothings into my ear about missing me, I knew it was time.So we all know what today is, of course it is TMI Thursday!  ***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, "how many readers can I http://keithcrowdercia.blogspot.com/2009/05/maybe-if-i-write-this-awful-story-down.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Desiree Aubigny)1