Secrets of Successful Dating

Why You Should Ditch the Rules - By Amy Waterman

noreply@blogger.com (Jel) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 07:19:00 +0000

A long, long time ago, the path from courtship to marriage was clear. Women waited for men to ask them out, allowed men to pay for every date, and breathlessly anticipated a marriage proposal.

Back then, the rules of courtship were clearly defined. There were things a woman did … and things she should NEVER do. Only a vulgar and shameless woman would pursue a man.

Many of today’s so-called “time-tested secrets” for meeting and attracting Mr. Right come from that era, an age in which men were MEN, and women were WOMEN, and gender roles kept them an arms-length apart.

Playing by those rules today isn’t just old-fashioned; it’s just plain limiting. Today, we as women have more freedom than at any other time in human history. We can work in whatever job we want, live wherever we want, and date whomever we want! Why, then, would we willingly step back under the yoke of courtship Do’s and Don’ts designed in a culture that’s long past and good riddance?

Because, in the often-confusing modern dating world, rules make us feel safe. Do’s and Don’ts can keep us from making mistakes. Dating “rules” (like ending a phone call first, or not accepting a weekend date after Wednesday) can prevent us from getting rejected.

Or can they?

If you keep yourself from doing certain things around men and make yourself do others based on FEAR that you’ll make a mistake or FEAR that he’ll reject you, then you’re setting the foundation for a relationship based on insecurity.

It’s the same error our grandmothers and great-grandmothers made so many years ago: they looked to the MEN to define whether they were in a relationship, what form it would take, and how long it would last.

As a result, the only way women were able to influence the outcome was through indirect means – such being mysterious, playing “hard to get,” and not letting on how they felt – to get what they wanted.

Today, it’s wonderful that men and women both can be so open, honest, and direct about topics that were taboo just a few generations before. But with this freedom comes power … and a great deal of confusion.

Even though the old rules were restricting, at least they gave us the confidence of familiarity. We knew what to do. We knew what the man’s role was, and we knew what the woman’s role was.

But if men and women each have an equal say in dating and relationships, then who is supposed to make the next move … and what even IS the next move?

The old dating Do’s and Don’ts simply are not flexible enough to account for the way society has changed and the diversity of cultures that exists.

That’s why I believe it is so important that we develop a new paradigm for dating and relationships that reflects who we are as modern women in a modern dating world.

That's why Amy Waterman, author of How to Be Irresistible to Men, and Marie Forleo, author of Make Every Man Want You, got together to produce a dating course unlike any other. They set out to show how women can find out what to do in ANY dating situation, in a way that’s appropriate, effortless, and completely IRRESISTIBLE … all without resorting to outdated Do’s and Don’t that may not even apply to them!

Their collaboration resulted in the riveting audio program, Make Every Man Want You MORE! Over the six-lesson course, Amy and Marie lay out the essential tools every modern woman needs in a modern dating world, what it takes to move a relationship along from casual to committed, how to navigate tricky dating areas like communication, sex, “baggage” from your past, and more.

Single women today can feel enormously pressured to live up to a high standard in ALL areas of their life, from their careers to their appearance to their love life. If you don’t want to settle for anything less than excellence in life AND love, then Make Every Man Want You More will teach you how to effortlessly and flawlessly achieve your goals.

Find out more by going to:

000 RELATIONSHIPS

The Relationship of Your Dreams - It Starts with You

noreply@blogger.com (Jel) — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 01:58:00 +0000

To find the Relationship of your Dreams, you need to find yourself first, finding yourself means; that you are happy and positive about your life. You need to be doing the things that you love.

Are you in a job that you hate? Well you need to do something about that. How can you be happy doing something that you hate? This will show up in your personality and that will not make you very attractive at all. People who are happy in their lives, plodding along on their own are extremely attractive people.

If you have insecurities that you have not dealt with in life, then you will not attract a decent person to have a relationship with. Chances are you will attract someone else who has issues and insecurities.

The relationship of your dreams should be the most positive thing in your life. If one of you is held down by insecurity, then the relationship will flounder. You cannot have relationship to fill up a need within yourself. You should be attending to your own needs long before the relationship comes along. The man or woman of your dreams will only serve to enhance the relationship, not fix a flaw that lies within you.

Sometimes people tend to make this mistake and expect their partner to attend to their needy, insecure side. You have no right to expect this of any person that comes into your life. It is your responsibility to look after your own happiness and build that happiness within yourself.

Before you begin looking for that perfect partner and the relationship of your dreams, take a good hard look at yourself and your life. Are you completely happy with yourself? Are you doing what you want to do? Make a solid plan to get your life sorted out before you even think about a relationship and be clear also about the type of person you wish to meet.

Remember also that love is unconditional. When you find someone that you feel you could love, do not expect that person to change. Everyone has flaws, and any partner you choose will not be perfect. Keep in mind that love asks for nothing and gives everything.

Copyright © 2008 Janelle Coulton

Get the Relationship You Want this Year! Visit 12 Simple Rules Today!

Telling Lies Online

noreply@blogger.com (Jel) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 14:32:00 +0000

We have all heard of this before. You meet someone in person for the first time and it’s obvious they have lied in their dating site profile. They have blatantly lied! Not subtle exaggeration. I am referring to people who are obvious liars. People who will lie about their age, their weight or the amount of grey in their hair.

The puzzling thing is why people dating online do this? It is obvious once you meet your prospective date in person that you will be found out. Your prospective date will know the instant they lay eyes on you. People are not as stupid as one might think.

When people start dating online they are on their guard to start out with. They are cautious about where they meet people and whom they choose to meet. The last thing your prospective date wants is to meet a person who has lied to them. You will not be asked out on a second date. Many people would turn around and go home. It’s really not worth it. You are not going to be successful at dating and meeting people if you lie. You are destroying the trust and honesty between you and that person before you have even started to get to know each other.

So the bottom line here is; don’t do it. Tell the truth, be a genuine person and meet people who like you for who you are. If you are not comfortable with who you are, then you need to work on that. Happiness and contentment comes from inside of you, you cannot expect another person to give you these things. You need to work on this yourself.

For more information on attracting your dream partner and changing your life for the better, visit 12 Simple Rules today!

A Successful Dating Game

noreply@blogger.com (Jel) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 11:57:00 +0000

It is possible to improve and perfect your dating skills. Yes, dating is a skill. It does not come down to luck or destiny. We make our own choices out there.

Elena Solomon from the Gold Coast in Australia has written a pretty fantastic book called the 12 Simple Rules. It is largely what I would call a dating advice book, but it's also more of a self help book too. Because when a person wants to effect change in their lives, it is themselves that they should be taking a good hard look at.

Elena warns you from the beginning that you may not what you read, because she holds nothing back. She is a straight forward and passionate about her beliefs and what she has learnt about life whilst researching to put this book together.

Dating takes practice and eventually you will be at a point where you will be really good at it.
Many people would not agree with that, and would keep on believing that it's luck of the draw.
I disagree. We do not have to go out with every person that asks us. The more you are out on the dating scene, the better you will get at picking out who are the losers and who are decent.
And eventually you learn to trust your own instincts.

I have had many people tell me they will not date on the Internet. Too dangerous is what some of them say. So are a lot of things. And where else can you find hundreds to thousands of people who are available in your general area, and who are actively seeking a companion, lover....whatever! The Internet is a fantastic place to screen your dates. It also allows you to have conversation with about 20 people in minutes. You could line up 20 dates in ten minutes.
I see you frowning, but it's true. Online dating is one the most effective ways to date.

So practice makes perfect, and the more you practice the better you will get at this dating stuff. You'll spot the idiots from a mile away, given time. So what are you waiting for? Get out there!

Read 12 Simple Rules Today and learn how to lives your dreams

Janelle Coulton, Relationship Writer and Advisor.

Win the Man of Your Dreams - Find True Love

noreply@blogger.com (Jel) — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 11:36:00 +0000

If I could show you a sure fire way to catch the men of your dreams and keep him, would you take it? Would you take the challenge? Heck! I know I would, and I did. I followed certain strategies in books I found on the net quite by accident and here I am, planning to marry this man and I know we will stay together. I just know it!

What happened in a nutshell is this. I followed certain rules, rules that I learnt from these books. I am not talking about the old fashioned rules either. Recently author, Amy Waterman wrote an article telling all women to ditch the rules and Amy is one hundred percent right. The rules that Amy was talking about are "The Rules" series of books, written by two women some years ago, these women are happily married and aren't struggling with the dating scene, so I don't see a lot of credence in what they write.

Basically girls it is like this. I focused on myself and less on the men I was dating. My life was about me, myself and I. My career, my daughter, my writing and my interests and passions. This is what all women should be doing and even when you get the guy. Keep doing it and he will be attracted and crazy about you forever. This is my secret to my successful relationship, but that’s not the only secret I have to share.

Much more information, do's and don'ts, and mistakes we make with men are here in this E-Book, which there is also a link to below.One mistake I made constantly was call my ex boyfriends all the time, believe me when I tell you, they hate it. Let them chase you. Let the man have the absolute pleasure of playing the cat and mouse game that we hate so much and they love. It turns them on and you will turn them on if you allow this game to play itself out. Don't rob your man of this pleasure, it will work in your favour.

Another mistake I made was to go over to their houses late at night for what I call the booty call, or letting them come to me late at night. Well never ever let this happen, tell them you are busy. You are not someone’s second or third choice. You should be first and foremost in their mind.So after reading this short essay, will you take the challenge? If you are interested in learning more please visit the following link and find out how you can be irresistible to men.

Get the Relationship You Want this Year! Visit 12 Simple Rules Today!

Copyright ©2007, Janelle Coulton

Jel aka Janelle Coulton is a writer of articles, essays, short stories and prose, she is a witty and humorous person who gives depth to her writing and dares to go where many others will not. Jel loves to make her readers really think about her writing and take action in their lives, she also loves to provide her readers with hope and humour. She is currently working on her first book and you can read more of her writing at the following two links:For more information, Free Articles, E-books and reports please follow the links to Jel’s websites

www.freewebs.com/jelbaby
www.freewebs.com/jel1.htm

Who Should Pay on Dates?

noreply@blogger.com (Jel) — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 10:03:00 +0000

Who Should Pay on Dates?

Contrary to what some men and women believe and given that society has changed. According to my research, most people think that the gentleman should pay. Controversial subject; yes granted and people may say that this is old fashioned or unfair. It is true that equality amongst the sexes is leveling out however, there are many people in society who are still hold their old fashioned values close to their hearts. Therefore, this argument comes down to the following examples:

If a gentleman invites a lady to dinner, or lunch or a quick coffee, it is my belief that he should pay. Most gentlemen would probably be offended if the lady in question was to insist on paying, as he asked her out. A gentleman could feel threatened by his date paying her way, especially if he was the one who invited her out. A gentleman’s intention is usually to treat his lady to a wonderful evening. Men enjoy this process and especially enjoy the smile on their lady’s face, when a lady steps in and pays the bill, the thrill of the hunt and gather instinct is gone. Many people may ask: Aren’t we beyond all this in 2006? This is so not true. Many of us still believe in the old fashioned values.

When a gentleman asks a lady out on a date, he is asking for the pleasure of her company. Many gentlemen would assume they are responsible for the bill at the end of the date. Some ladies say they feel uncomfortable with the gentleman paying for dinner, drinks, the movies etc, and might feel that they should contribute something. They may feel somewhat obligated. However, there is plenty of time to reciprocate down the road. The lady could invite her date to sample her home cooking or perhaps provide a picnic lunch for the two of them when they go on an outing. This could be a way for her to reciprocate.

In the larger scheme of things it is not really important who pays. It comes down to common courtesy and etiquette, many gentlemen would insist on treating their date. It is possible that many readers of this essay may not agree with what is written here, but they would be surprised to learn that many gentlemen were in agreement here. Face it ladies, if he’s not willing to buy you lunch or a coffee, he isn’t a gentleman and not worth dating in the first place.

Copyright 2006 Janelle Coulton

For more information on creating a happy relationship with your man or woman please visit the following links:
http://jelbaby2.unicades.hop.clickbank.net/?type=nohop
http://jelbaby2.unicades.hop.clickbank.net/?type=wantmore

Jel (aka Janelle Coulton) is a writer of articles, essays and short stories. She also endorses and promotes other peoples written work, in the form of articles, E-Books and hard copy literature. Jel is an animal lover, avid reader, and loves to delve into controversial issues. She is passionate about writing and creating work that will encourage the reader to look inside themselves. She also loves to make people laugh. Jel lives in Canberra with her partner and two pets (a cat and a dog). she is currently working on a couple of E-Books at present, which will soon be for sale on her website.

Visit: http://www.freewebs.com/jelbaby/
http://www.freewebs.com/jel1

ONLINE DATING

noreply@blogger.com (Jel) — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 09:55:00 +0000

Years ago, dating via the internet was unthinkable. In-fact when I began to date, we never even knew that the internet existed. We never dreamed that one day we would be hooking up with a date via our computer and a simple click of the mouse.

The internet has become a world that many of us are involved in, in many different ways for many different reasons. My friends and I delved into the cyberspace way of dating and relating some four years ago. When we first began it was a disaster, as none of us know what we were doing, but now we have come out the other side somewhat wiser, with a much better idea of the do’s and the don’ts of internet dating.

You have a fulfilling online dating experience by following a few simple guidelines. Most dating sites will let you create a profile and post a photograph for free, however to contact people, this is where it does cost. There are some online dating services that are totally free, however the one’s I used when I dating online were all paid services.

It is a good idea to register with a few, cast a wide net so to speak. Below are my definite rules for success when dating online.

First and foremost, and especially for women, always remember safety first. If something feels off, then it probably is and you should bail as soon as possible. Don’t be afraid to cancel a date, or end a date you are on if you are feeling uncomfortable about your safety.

Always post a photograph, a good clear photo that shows you smiling. You will have more contact from people if you post a photo. If you are not willing to post a photo, people may think you have something to hide. So this is always a good idea.

Do not give out your phone number in the first email contact. I have heard of many people doing this and quite frankly this kind of behaviour reeks of desperation, a definite turn off.

Do not read too much into the first few emails. Quite often it is easy to become excited about a prospective date just from a few emails. This is foolish as these people you are emailing are not real until you meet them face to face.

When you talk on the phone for the first time, keep the conversation short. The first phone call should be about making the first date, nothing more. Do not fall into the trap of chatting for hours on end to a total stranger. It is very easy to be lulled in a false sense of security and reveal way too much about yourself. You should be revealing yourself face to face on a date.

On you first date, keep it short. Go for a walk in the park or meet for coffee, for no more than an hour or so. The first date should not last for three hours.

Unless your date is rude, or you decide that you just do not like them. Date the person three times before deciding if the friendship/relationship can go anywhere. One date, lasting an hour is not enough time to know if this person is the one for you.

On one of your three dates, deliberately change the plans. Request a change of place, time or day. This will tell you if the person is flexible or not. If this person makes a fuss, there is a pretty good chance they might be controlling or abusive. This rule is not absolute, however I would be on my guard with anyone who got upset because I could not make it to lunch on a particular day.

These are just a few examples of things that I learnt whilst dating on-line. It took twenty-three dates and a failed relationship for me to realise my mistakes. I wish that I had this information that I am passing onto you back then, but I was none the wiser. Hopefully if you follow my simple guidelines you will have a successful and enjoyable online dating experience.

©2007 Janelle Coulton

Get the Relationship You Want this Year! Visit 12 Simple Rules Today!

Jel (aka Janelle Coulton) is a writer of articles, essays and short stories. She also endorses and promotes other peoples written work, in the form of articles, E-Books and hard copy literature. Jel is an animal lover, avid reader, and loves to delve into controversial issues. She is passionate about writing and creating work that will encourage the reader to look inside themselves. She also loves to make people laugh. Jel lives in Canberra with her partner and two pets (a cat and a dog). she is currently working on a couple of E-Books at present, which will soon be for sale on her website.

Visit: http://www.freewebs.com/jelbaby/
http://www.freewebs.com/jel1

Dating Ideas 101 - Avoiding Unhealthy People

noreply@blogger.com (Jel) — Sun, 21 May 2006 04:47:00 +0000

Dating Ideas 101 - Avoiding Unhealthy People -

Written by: Jel

I have a few ideas when it comes to dating, especially when we are dating with an intention to find real love. Many people tell me that they are afraid to get out on the dating scene due to their past experiences, and hurt from previous relationships. It is a real shame when people let their fears control them in this way. Some even go as far to say that they don't to find love, which is simply not true, we all want love in some way, shape or form.

I have a couple of ideas that might help people who are fearful of attracting the wrong type of person again. For example, you might try of few these suggestions:

First and foremost you should have an idea of what type of person you are looking for.

Never have sex on the first date, in-fact I recommend no sex until the fifth date; you need to get to know each other, and sex can really confuse a lot of issues.

Date the same person three times before you make a decision as to whether they are for you. You will have an idea of the qualities you desire in a partner, and one or two dates is not enough time to see if those qualities exist in that person. Give the person a fair chance.

Set strict boundaries regarding your first three dates. On the first date, no longer than an hour, go for coffee or lunch. The second, two hours max, you could go for dinner and the third make it three to four hours. These rules are to protect you from revealing too much of yourself too soon and also shows you if the person you are dating is a flexible person or someone who tries to step over your boundaries.

Change the day, time or location of one of the dates. This will also tell you if your date is a flexible person, if they are not willing to negotiate a change, this is a sign that your date could be potentially abusive, controlling or a boundary breaker.

It is entirely up to the individual which guidelines they choose to follow here. Protecting yourself is more important, than taking foolish risks. For instance, sleeping with someone you hardly know, only to get rejected the next day is something we can all avoid. The guidelines won't protect you one hundred percent from unhealthy people, but they will help you spot someone who could be a potential problem in you life.

Get the Relationship You Want this Year! Visit 12 Simple Rules Today!

See more of my writing at the following link:

http://www.freewebs.com/jelbaby

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