Mary’s out for another visit, so she and Margie did various shopping stuff yesterday while I was (kinda-sorta) working. Stan came down in the evening and we had supper at Fogo de Chao, then I (to everyone’s amusement) fell quickly asleep once we were home.

Today Stan and Mary are off to see a Genghis Khan exhibit at the Museum, while we do some pottery / glass work at Arts on Fire and then I go to the NaNoWriMo write-in at the Tattered Cover.

Tonight: roasted lamb for dinner. Yum.

Nothing earth-shattering or wildly dramatic. Which is kind of nice.

• Hrm. Replacement backlight thingie on my laptop is out. Again. Beginning to think something else is going wrong here. #
• Laptop backlight has crapped out *again*. This is not the solution you're looking for. And, of course, week-long business trip coming up. #
• Doing Write: What ho! I think I fancy to a spot of writing! http://bit.ly/6leo7K #nanowrimo #

• K's karate test for 2nd kyu brown went swimmingly. Next up: me. Gulp. #
• Well, that karate test worked out better than a literal kick to the face, though it had its unhappy moments. We shall see. #

About three weeks ago, I was informed that, due to business conditions, we were going to have to lay off some folks.  I was asked to update a rating of the folks in my department, and note potential candidate positions to be terminated.

(Just to jump to the end for one thing — my job is safe for the nonce. That’s not what this post is about.)

This wasn’t a huge surprise at this point — it’s very tight business climate, and we’d had to make some tough calls on our budget for our fiscal year, given that we in IT are an overhead cost. We knew our internal customers in other overhead groups were facing significant labor budget cuts; we’d hoped we’d dodged the bullet, but weren’t hugely surprised to hear that wasn’t the case.

I’ve always hated these sorts of activities.  I gallows-humor joke with my direct managers that it’s the one place where we really earn our fabulous paychecks, because telling people you’re going to have to let them go is the hardest thing we do in our jobs; it’s hard even if it’s for performance reasons, and it’s even worse when it has nothing to do with the value of the employee, but “just” to meet a budget number.

(Note: I’m not actually questioning the need here.  I know my company manages money tightly and pessimistically.  Our commodity is billable hours for professional services.  Companies in our line who maintain too many folks on overhead — whether project staff who don’t have billable projects to work on, or overhead staff like in, well, IT — go broke. Which doesn’t help anyone.  Bottom line is … well, is the bottom line.

So I went through the exercise. I have five direct report managers (all worth their weight in gold — they do the real work around here), and 22 staff under them.  So I flagged three of the staff positions as possible to eliminate.

(We always look at these things in terms of positions being ended, not employees being fired — it’s not getting rid of people for performance problems, though clearly if there are performance problem people whose positions are dispensable, they’re usually first on the list.  But nobody is actually being laid off because of performance, otherwise they’d have been explicitly let go because of performance earlier.)

(We also don’t say “layoffs.”  It’s “a reduction in force” in HR-speak, acronymed as “RIF.”  RIF can be a noun, but we also use it as a verb, e.g., “He’s being RIFfed.”  It also bears an unfortunate resemblance to “RIP.”)

So I flagged three, and mentally flagged two more as “if things get really desperate” positions, but didn’t expect it to go there.  We’ve done this sort of exercise in the past, and it’s usually been held to 1-2 people, tops, for my group.

I got the word back that I needed to identify 9 candidates, though it might turn out less than that once the overall resulting budget numbers were crunched.

That’s 9 out of 22 staff.

From a functional standpoint, that’s devastating.  That’s not cutting fat, that’s not even cutting muscle; that’s hacking into the bone and scooping out marrow.

From a personal standpoint, that’s also devastating.  That’s nine people I had to choose to be let go, nine colleagues who work for me I had to give the axe.

Now, I don’t for a moment pretend that it’s equally bad to be the lay-offer and the lay-offee.  But any manager worth his or her salt does not enjoy, or treat casually, letting people go.  Each one is a kick in the gut — in a way all the worse for knowing that for that person, it’s much worse than a kick in the gut.

I have a somewhat Medieval view of employment — or maybe it’s more properly Feudal.  From my team, I expect loyalty, diligence, hard work, honorable service.  That’s what I try to give to my boss.  In return, I offer them protection, appreciation, reward, advancement, respect and a paycheck.  My obligations to my team are just as binding as theirs to me.

One of the reasons RIFs hurt is not just the breaking of the professional and personal ties, or the emotional pain of actually having to break the bad news, but the very real sense that I have failed in my obligations.  (And, yes, I know I also have an obligation upwards that compels me to do so, but that doesn’t make it easier.)  And it’s a failure both to staff further down the org and to my direct reports for putting them through the pain of executing a RIF.

So after I’d put together the hit list — which involved a lot of soul searching as to the individuals on it, as well as the client impact — I submitted it upward, and thence followed further debate and discussion with management, and delays while numbers were further crunched, and so on and so forth.  And, of course, there’s the frustration of seeing people reduced to an evaluation of their utility and their budgetary value, while realizing that, in context of employment, that’s a lot of what they actually represent, and the danger is when you realize that you’re simply looking at them as numbers on a spreadsheet.

And then there were the cusp calls — X or Y?  Who knows what?  Which person has the most long-term prospects?  Which has knowledge that can’t be easily transferred or done without?  Whose lost will have the most impact on what we do and on his/her fellow team members and manager?

And, of course, if you’re a human being there are human factors.  Knowing someone is a single parent, or just got married, or their spouse is out of work, or they rely on the company’s insurance.  You cannot legally or professionally let those sorts of things play a role in the decision, but you can’t help but know how they will make the decision hit harder.

So that went on for a while, and was one of those things that every day brought the subject back up again.  And, meanwhile, I’m having discussions with my managers about plans and what’s coming up and how different folks are performing and all.  And I’m not allowed to bring them into the secret yet for a variety of reasons — so I end up in a dozen conversations lying by (mostly) omission (e.g., “Fred’s really doing great on that assignment.” “Great to hear [if only I didn't know that Fred's on the hit list].”)

The final decision on the on the list was due on a Monday, and I scheduled something with my directs the following morning, to give them a full heads up. I outlined my speech, which is something I almost never do, and did up an org chart showing where the cuts were going to be.

Yeah, that didn’t go over well. Even though the final number had come to 7, that meant a third of the staff were being let go. As it worked out, every one of my managers had 1-2 people on their teams.

The rest of the week (last week) was taken up with discussions and coordination with HR as to when and how this would all be done. HR sprung on us a need to do some comparative analysis worksheets to get Legal’s blessing that we were acting properly in terms of who was being let go vs. the positions being eliminated. I was working with HR managers in five locations, and variations in circumstances meant I was working on this until late that Friday (which meant that I couldn’t actually get stuff scheduled for this week, or let my managers know the specifics on some stuff; it also meant I got to go through the exercise of justifying the individuals selected one more time.

That was even hairier for the UK folks, which have much greater process restrictions and formal this-and-that around “redundancies.” We had to scramble to fill out the paperwork so that notifications of all threatened individuals could be made, so that we could then go through a long formal exercise that ultimately justified our choices. That took up good chunks of Monday and Tuesday this week.

This week being the week that notices were given out — generally with a sit-down meeting between the individual involved, a local HR rep, a local IT manager, and the person’s manager (since only one of my directs was in an office where a RIF was taking place) dialed in by phone.

This was the first time doing this for some of my directs. But even experienced hands don’t like telling a colleague, an employee, someone they’ve worked with for years, someone they’ve cracked jokes with and done development plans with and bitched about stuff with and spent hours with in some fashion or another, that that relationship is ending in two weeks.

I only sat in — led, in fact — one of these notification meetings (my direct report manager in question used the lame excuse, so to speak, of having torn out his knee the day before and having to get an MRI done), and that was no less harrowing for it going well. But working with my managers, every one of them was deeply, deeply unhappy about doing this — which made me no less unhappy.

So the last person in my group to be notified was notified this afternoon. Most of the reactions received were quiet and stunned, though I’m sure at will change over time in different ways. And that notification having been given, I feel free to speak (relatively) openly about it, on the off chance that someone in my group has quietly found this blog.

It’s been a very difficult three weeks for me — knowing and not being able to share (except with Margie), planning and counter-planning, thinking things were settled only to have some new unpleasant wrinkle pop up, dealing with unhappy people and colleagues, guarding my words, shutting my door every time the phone rings …

It’s been, frankly, exhausting and draining, a big reason why posting here (and elseblog) has been so light, and the sole reason why I’ve missed a few days of NaNoWriMo*. It’s also a reason (on top of NaNo) that I haven’t been doing any online gaming.

And, again, yes, I know, cry me a river, and it will be far greater a burden (and one just starting) for the people who’ve been let go. I’m well aware of that, and it doesn’t actually make me feel any better.

(Though, while I had the initial thought of, “How awful for those people to have this happen right before the holidays.” it occurs to me that there are no good times for something like this to happen — and actually having it happen before Thanksgiving means they have a chance to (unfortunately) tighten their belts with the gift-giving, which to my mind is better than running up a big credit card debt for the holidays and then getting your notice on January 1st.)

But things will go on. Work will be more difficult with fewer hands, some things are in the works (the “distraction” I mentioned) that will help in some ways and possibly hinder in others. Eventually business will pick back up (the fundamentals around here being solid), and the demand for new IT staff will come up, and we might just end up with some of those folks back working for us again. I’ve seen stranger things happen.

And, after three weeks, the most wrenching part is over.

Life goes on, with changes, losses, pains, and occasional pleasures. Let’s hope matters are a bit more settled and a bit less crazy in the weeks to come.

Thanks for your patience, folks.

*Though it has let me craft a 1900 word blog entry. Ahem.

• Neighborhood power went out last night as we were considering going to bed. Decision decided! Awakened an hour later by lights and alarm. #
• Amazon Wish List updated, trimmed, padded, repainted for the Holiday Season. Need to assist Kay in doing same. Margie's on her own. :-) #
• Good News: something at work is distracting me from awful work week. Bad News: the distraction is adding its own spicy flavor of stress. #

Mary linked to (and answered) these, so, in lieu of exercising my brain too much this evening …

1. Why do you blog? - To remember things that have happened. To share stuff I think is cool. To present a semblance of sociability.
2. What are your favorite blogs? - In terms of ones I make a point of going to regularly: Stupid Evil Bastard, Decrepit Old Fool, Think Progress, Right Wing Watch, Topless Robot.
3. Who are your intellectual heroes? - Hmmm. I don’t know I could identify any “heroes” in that fashion; that seems to associate a cult of personality with intellectualism, which would appear to contradict to me.  Mary mentions Darwin and Ingersoll, and they’re good candidates. Galileo. Asimov (for his determination that any intellectual study could be popularized and understood by the masses).   I’m sure I could find more with a bit of cogitation.
4. What are you reading at the moment? - The Hermit of Eyton Forest by Ellis Peters (the 14th Brother Cadfael mystery).
5. What is your favorite poem? - Not enough into poetry to have favorites, really.
6. What is your favorite movie? - One movie? One?  Give me a break.  Um … Judgment at Nuremburg.
7. What is your favorite song? - Depends on the mood, frankly.  Often anything I’ve listened to recently.
8. Who is your favorite composer? - Handel.  Bach and Vivaldi come in close, though.
9. Can you name a major moral, political or intellectual issue on which you’ve ever changed your mind? - I believe I have always been a theist, even at times when that was challenging.  And I’m pretty sure I’ve always been a believer in the Golden Rule. Aside from that, my politics and the specifics of my moral and religious beliefs have been subject to change on multiple occasions over the decades.
10. What philosophical thesis do you think it most important to disseminate? - If we all “loved our neighbors as ourselves,” and left the theological specifics to personal taste and weekend discussions over beers, the world would be a happer and more moral place.
11. What philosophical thesis do you think it most important to combat? - That the root of morality is through control of others.
12. Who are your political heroes? - James Madison. Abraham Lincoln. Teddy Roosevelt. I’ll also throw a bone to LBJ, who managed to get the Civil Rights Act of 1964 passed; definitely a hero with feet of clay, but worthy of ongoing praise for all of that.
13. If you could effect one major policy change in the governing of your country, what would it be? - I’d have to go with a formal recognition of the separation of church and state (which, ironically, you’d think would be a major theme of the Tea Partiers with their “Don’t Tread on Me” flags).  If we spent more time trying to help our fellow citizens and less time arguing over whose version of what scripture ought to be graven in stone in front of the county courthouse, we’d probably be a lot better off.
14. Do you think the world (human civilization) has already passed its best point, or is that yet to come? - I think a long view of history would indicate that we’re continuing to improve, decade by decade, even with a wide range at any given time.  If we can avoid a crash of our modern industrial / economic / globalized economy due to resource exhaustion, climate change, nuclear war, or other major game-changers, we should continue to improve over time.  That’s not a trivial “if.”
15. What would be your most important piece of advice about life? – Hard to narrow it down in an unbounded context.  I’ll toss out Grantland Rice’s note “For when the one Great Scorer comes / To write against your name, / He marks — not that you won or lost — / But how you played the game.”
16. Do you think you could ever be married to, or in a long-term relationship with, someone with radically different political views from your own? No. Which isn’t to say that Margie and I agree on everything, but we are in general concurrence on most significant points, and within the bounds of tolerance on the others.
17. What do you consider the most important personal quality? - Compassion.
18. What personal fault do you most dislike? - Hypocrisy.
19. What is your favorite proverb? - Oh, crimminy, I have a website with 7700 quotations … you want me to come up with  one proverb?  Um … I think I actually used this one in my valedictorian speech: “No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.” (Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter).  Does that count?  If you want something more proverbial, how about “Bear patiently with the Defects of others, and labor to amend thy own.” (Thomas Fuller, Introductio ad Prudentiam).
20. If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything you’d do differently? - There’s a million things I regret — but to change most of them would be to change the very happy outcome I’ve reached to date, which I wouldn’t change for the world.
21. Who would play you in the movie about your life? - I can’t think of an actor I’d do that to.  Kevin Spacey?
22. Where would you most like to live (other than where you do)? - If required to move somewhere, I’d probably opt for Southern California, to be near family and old friends.  If that were not an option — Manhattan or London both come oddly to mind.
23. What would your ideal holiday be? - Lots of frenzied travel to many interesting and photoworthy places, ironically intermingled with quiet time for reading, good food and drink, and persistent broadband connections.  And, of course, being with Margie, and probably Katherine, and maybe some other friends and family.
24. What is your most treasured possession? - If my house burned to the ground, it’s the loss of photos that would haunt me most.
25. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? - I don’t know that I’d want to name myself — it sounds like a great opportunity for me to choose something realy stupid that I’d regret forever after.  I did once, as a child, want to be renamed George.
26. What would be your ideal choice of alternative profession or job? - As an ideal?  That’s hard, since whatever it is I’d want to be able to leave it at the office when I came home at night.  Assuming it has to be my primary income (thus leaving out “volunteering as an  X while living on my lottery winnings”), I think I’d like to work in public policy in some fashion.  As a practical matter, if I ever changed careers I’d likely end up in something like accounting.
27. Who is your favorite comedian or humorist? - Aw, jeez.  Um … Bob Newhart. Or, more contemporary, Jon Stewart.
28. Who are your sporting heroes? - I don’t believe I have any.
29. How, if at all, would you change your life were you suddenly to win or inherit an enormously large sum of money? - I’d quit my job.  I’d find something worthwhile to volunteer for about 15 hours a week.  I’d probably write more.  I’d certainly blog more.
30. What animal would you most like to be? - Human.  If that’s not available, house cat, otter, or dolphin all come to mind.

Hmmm. That took longer than I expected.

Pay no attention to the man behind that curtain

More will be revealed tomorrow night, I believe.

In the meantime, I apologize for cryptically blowing off steam to my studio audience.

• Wow. I'm never really much for taking vendor cold calls, but right now you're lucky I don't crawl through the line and cut you ear-to-ear. #
• Okay, so a sucky day can in fact be improved by having Cold Stone ice cream served in the conference room. #

The Daily Show on Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, trials in NYC, street justice, the many faces of Rudy Giuliani, and why the greatest thing to fear about a New York KSM trial isn’t the justice system or terrorism …

Ten minutes, but worth every drop.

And … hey … that chimp looks awfully evolutionary …

I liked him better when he was zany, not angry-weepy-scary.

(via PourMeCoffee)

So I’m part of the beta group in Twitter who are getting the New, Improved Re-Tweet interface.

How RTs will look in the new interface

I cautiously approve — it should reduce clutter within RTs and clarify the paths for them, plus allow RTs that are full-length Tweets. On the other hand, it’s one more bit of complexity to the simple Twitter interface, which ought to be guarded against.

It will be interesting to see how various Twitter clients come to support this.

• Nicely bite-ass cold morning here in Denver. Most ice gone from roads, but still a few patches. Warmer later, sunny week ahead. #
• Monday weigh-in matched Thusday weigh-in. Weekend diet VICTORY! #
• Guys, I have work to do. Plus stuff that I need to prioritize over that. Plus stuff being prioritized over that. And now your stuff, too? #
• Looks like I chose a bad week to stop sniffing glue. #
• My work calendar is beginning to resemble Tetris again … and the blocks keep falling faster … #
• Actually got out of the office for quick lunch, walk. Returned to find fire alarm in progress. Joy. #
• Tonight: karate. Tomorrow night: Girl Scouts. Wendesday night: nothing? Wait, that can't be right. #
• Sorry, when you robocall me saying you can lower my credit card interest rates, just press 9, and you don't say who you're with – Hell No. #
• Gmail's tendency, in interchanging with Exchange, to double up all mail addresses each time a reply comes back is progressively annoying. #
• Doing Write: Halfway there http://bit.ly/3YwcN3 #nanowrimo #

• I love the gentle lambent light of snow on the ground, clouds in the sky, city lights in-between. #
• And still snowing this morning, too. About 4-6" on deck, a fair amount on roads, but braving the drifts for church shortly. Huzzah AWD. #
• As usual, our street was a mess, cross-street was well-rutted, main avenues were just wet. No travel probs. #
• End of a too-short weekend. This next week at work is going to be very tough. Not looking forward t it. #
• Margie, btw, makes a mean beef stroganoff. Mean in that it demands I have seconds and won't take no for an answer. #