"Confessions of a Bad Christian"

Revisiting The Shack

Dave Burchett — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 17:56:37 GMT

I’m not gonna lie to you…I always hesitate before I write about controversial issues in Christianity. I hesitate because I know I will receive ungraceful responses that will cause painful memories to resurface. Painful memories of being restricted by the electronic fence of legalism. I have come to realize that many leaders choose that method of “controlling” the flock. Some don’t know anything else. Some don’t wish to risk the messy and dirty work of being a real shepherd. But the damage is devastating to trusting sheep who are wounded.

I knew that writing about The Shack would stir up some ugly responses from a few readers. Perhaps my disclaimer in the original post deterred a few negative responders. Perhaps some have simply given up on me. But most of the comments have been legitimate and thoughtful. I wrote a response to a blog written by David Robinson about my original article. He graciously responded to my followup and asked some fair questions. Here is David’s response.

Dave,

I appreciate your desire to address this matter objectively and compassionately. You demonstrate a lot of Christian charity to me in what you say, and I am grateful for it.

My question is this: do you feel (Tim) Challies' review was in any way less than fully gracious, caring, and balanced? Or do you feel it was a model of the kind of gentleness and balance you wish to see from Christians in this kind of matter?

Response: This gives me a chance to make an important clarification. I feel that both of the articles I referenced gave a thoughtful analysis of the book from very different perspectives. My pleas were addressed to the angry and often strident comments I encountered on many websites and blogs. My desire to balance the debate was to offer both sides and some thoughts on how to communicate your take on the book with grace and love.

I have a less specific question to ask: is it wrong to disparage or even mock a book, speech, or other communication that blurs or even distorts essential doctrine?

Response: Okay, you asked me. I think it is always wrong to disparage and mock another persons point of view because it shuts down communication. That doesn’t mean you let it slide. I used Paul’s response to the citizens of Athens as my role model. He was ticked off by what he saw. I can imagine how it would have looked if Paul had addressed this situation like some ministries do today.

Dateline – Athens. Saint Paul announced a boycott of tourism to Athens, Greece in a sharply worded press release today. “The followers of Jesus can no longer support these godless pagans,” Paul declared from a protest outside the Parthenon. “God will judge these vile sinners.” Dozens of sign waving Christians shouted at those visiting the various shrines of false gods. Paul left the city and planned to spread his protest throughout the civilized world.

Instead Paul chose to stay and preach the truth in love. And the book of Acts reports that some believed. I believe that God can use any communication of Biblical truth. He is, after all, God. But isn’t it reasonable to believe that we are far more effective ambassadors when we stay on the dual tracks of truth and grace? Getting off either track can be deadly. I have to be honest and tell you I dismiss anyone who mocks or disparages my views. If they show a shred of grace I respond and the results are often good. Wounded people will almost always go into hiddenness when they are mocked or disparaged. And they will take it personally if you mock or disparage something they feel is good even if your heart is to help or protect them.

I will just put myself out there by saying this: I believe every major heresy gets a large portion of the truth of God correct. But what makes it a cult, and not orthodox Christianity, is that it distorts an essential aspect of the God's self-revelation in the process. All the critiques I have read take the book to task for exactly that reason.

Response: I agree. But instead of taking a sincere person to task I am suggesting you equip yourself with the facts about the book and then engage them. Ask questions to see how the book affected them.

“What did you like about the book?”
“How did it change your views?”

The answers will give you insight into their heart, their past and their theology. From that foundation you can come alongside that person and help them address what is really going on. Some people will simply see The Shack as a work of fiction and the doctrinal points will have no impact. Others will find some interesting thoughts and dismiss other parts of the book. That was my take. I suspect that only a few will go off a theological cliff because of this book. I remember that there was so much concern about The DaVinci Code, The Gospel of Judas, The Golden Compass and so on. Each of those events had a much lesser impact than some feared. Most of the Christians I know are intelligent enough to test the spirits. We should instruct and not condemn those who are not discerning.

Thank you for your grace to me personally, and your candor with regard to my comments.

Thank you for the same. Isn’t graceful dialogue fun?

Another writer raised some good questions.

Reader Matt posed a couple of concerns.

I have a lot of mixed emotions about The Shack. Rather than emoting on your blog (I'll save that for mine), let me just ask: what did you think of it? Did you think Tim's assessment was fair? Also, in the interest of full disclosure, maybe your statement about author Wayne Jacobson's response should include the fact that he is the publisher of The Shack.

Response: You just disclaimed Mr. Jacobson’s connection for me. Thanks. I liked The Shack. I love to be challenged in my thinking. Do I agree with all or even most of the theology presented? No. But the portrayal of God’s grace and caring was profound and can be helpful to wounded souls. God’s grace and love is truth. If we can get hurting people to trust that then we have a chance to restore many wounded lambs to the body of Christ.

And for (blog commenter) David, who said: I understood what the author was doing in attempting to get his point across...what was he trying to get across, exactly? Most everyone I've read on the blogosphere describes the book as giving them insights on God that they've never gotten before. Do you agree with that? And if so, does it bother you that people are getting insights about God from someplace other than His Word?

I think the message is simple. God does not give up on you. He loves you. Because of evil and sin bad things happen but God is not uncaring about those events. It does not bother me at all that people get insights from places other than His Word. I get insight from books, music, movies and countless other sources. I do have a biblical responsibility to weigh my insights against scripture and see if they are true. But God can speak through anything from nature to media to music. Don’t limit His creative and your own ability to find something sacred in unlikely places. You will limit your capacity for God to use all of His glorious creation to speak to your heart. Try looking for Him in unexpected places. You may be surprised to find Him there.

Freedom Never Cries

Dave Burchett — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:09:21 GMT

For new inductees to this site a brief update might be in order. The iPod Devotional Series is a periodic item that involves, not surprisingly, my trusty iPod and the shuffle feature. I fire up the device, go to the shuffle button, hit play and I write about whatever song is randomly selected from the 1,000 plus songs I have downloaded (all legally). My musical taste is quite eclectic so this little feature is a bit risky. But we have already had a devotion based on Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar so how much further south can we go?

Today’s song is from a artist called Five for Fighting and the selection is “Freedom Never Cries”. Wow. The shuffle could not have been more timely. Writer/singer John Ondrasik has become one of my favorites. Five for Fighting’s new CD (Two Lights) is incredible. Ondrasik writes personal and powerful songs that resonate with me. “Freedom Never Cries” is a song about how we take freedom for granted. Ondrasik talked about the song in an interview posted at liveDaily.

It was definitely a statement song that has a point of view. I think it kind of speaks to the fact that, I know at least for myself, we tend to only appreciate things when we need them. The chorus of that song says "I never loved the soldier until there was a war / Or thought about tomorrow 'til my baby hit the floor." I know I never started thinking about my future until I had my children. I never talked to God until somebody was about to die. My grandmother passed away last year--she was 93. She had a great life. It's funny that I tend to find religion when I need it. Or when somebody's sick. My dad had heart surgery this year, and it's amazing how religious I was that week. Freedom's similar. Growing up here in the bubble of the United States, we are statistically lucky to be born into this country where freedom, to us, seems natural. We couldn't imagine anything else. I think sometimes we don't recognize that. Freedom never cries. Freedom doesn't sit in the corner and whine and make us recognize it, per se. I think if you look at the world in general today, many countries don't experience the same freedom of expression, freedom of religion, women's rights, freedom of the press that we have. Obviously, that leads to a majority of the world's conflicts today. I wanted to recognize that, "Hey, freedom has a price, it's not a gift." It's a little reminder to ourselves, we're some of the lucky ones here.

The song is powerful. And the timing is sobering as we head into the celebration of the struggle to gain the incredible freedoms we have been granted. The freedom to vote. Freedom of religion. Freedom of speech. In a few months we face the awesome responsibility of voting. How you can even consider not exercising that precious gift? Freedom is like health. You don’t appreciate either one until they are gone.

H.L.Mencen once said, “We must be willing to pay a price for freedom, for no price that is ever asked for it is half the cost of doing without it.” Think about that.

And think about the lyrics of this song.

I never loved the soldier until there was a war
Or thought about tomorrow
'til my baby hit the floor
I Only talk to God when somebody's about to die
I Never cherished Freedom

Freedom never cries...

Thank God today for the blessing of freedom. Thank God for the men and women who will not be home this holiday as they serve to keep our freedoms intact. I cherish freedom.

I also cherish another kind of freedom.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5 NASB

Cherish both freedoms as a citizen of the United States and as a citizen of heaven. And take neither for granted.

What I Really Meant By "Careful"

Dave Burchett — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:05:09 GMT

For the most part the responses to my recent post about the popular book The Shack have been thoughtful and graceful. Alert reader Kristie sent me a link to a response that she thought I would find entertaining.

The website is called postmortemism and author David Robinson made some interesting observations about your humble rambler. He decided that I am illogical, condescending and ignorant. Not much in that list that I can disagree with in the big picture. I have been all of those things now and again. I do believe that in this one little instance Mr.Robinson assigned a lot of motives to my blog that I was unaware of until he pointed them out. So let’s examine where I have gone astray.

In my article I suggested that followers of Jesus be careful about attacking the author of The Shack and to be careful about how we condemn the book to those who have read it. Here is a snippet of that point.

When his theology goes astray I am suggesting that we gracefully point out those areas and don’t attack Mr. Young. Defending truth with grace is always the most effective tactic. But our passion for truth too often makes grace the first thing we jettison.

Mr.Robinson decided that I had an agenda with those points about being careful.

The first two “Be careful” comments can be thrown out the door. Of course, “careful” is only defined by what Burchett wants it to mean. To him, it means not saying certain things that would dismiss the competency or veracity of the author and the book. But those who disagree with the book are “careful” by examining the core ideas within and underneath the text to ascertain certain errors. And it is very “caring” of them to share their “concerns” with others since it may prevent others from having a wrong view of God distort their thinking.

Uhhhhhh….when I said be “careful” what I meant to say was to be “careful”. The definition at dictionary.com was basically what I meant.

Careful…to be cautious in one's actions.

That’s about all I had in mind when I chose that word. Since I wrote the piece I am pretty sure that to me I believed we could have a better dialogue if we discussed ideas and not attacked people. This was a part of my “careful” point.

Be careful how you share your concerns with others. When I read comments like “are these people just blind to heresy?” I cringe. Because you reinforce the feelings of so many people that are moved by this book. They have experienced a Christianity that is judgmental and sometimes downright mean. If your heart is to be a guardian of truth you will damage that worthy desire by harsh criticism of those who are touched by The Shack.

Later I made it clear that theological areas should be pointed out and discussed. I was simply asking for grace in the debate.

The next point really left me scratching my head. Here is what I wrote.

Be prayerful about why this book has connected so surprisingly with millions. I think I know some reasons why this book is resonating with so many. Those of us raised in the desert of legalism are desperate for the cool, refreshing waters of grace. Those of us who have been wounded by other Christians want more than anything to believe that Jesus does love us and our experience is not how it should be in the church. We need guardians of the truth of God’s Word but we also need those guardians to be shepherds that care and not just condemn.

Here is how Mr.Robinson received those thoughts.

The third command is based on the assumption that prayer and cognition are somehow at odds with each other. It’s not enough to understand why the book is so popular; one must pray in order to have some sort of mystical conformity from God to grasp this unusual and mysterious phenomenon.

I am pretty sure that all I meant was to be prayerful about people that have been wounded, how we can come alongside them, love them and restore them to the body of Christ. Separating prayer and cognition never, to quote Tweety Bird, “ cwossed my wittle bwain”. The critique continues.

I love the fourth comment, especially the use of “Dogmatically”. Who doesn’t have a worldview? Who’s worldview doesn’t guide what they think and how they respond to different kinds of ideas? Even ignorance and apathy are a dogma. Burchett simply doesn’t like dogma that goes against this book. Don’t respond dogmatically? Ok…well I’ll try. But if I read the book, and I don’t like it, can I tell someone “caringly” that they shouldn’t read it?

Honestly, all I really meant was that people hurt by legalism need grace. I have made my worldview clear in blogs and books. Where did I say that I don’t like any dogma that goes against the book? What I said was that this book opens doors to discussion that addresses orthodox theology and how scripture varies from this story. Of course you can tell people not to read the book. You can tell them whatever you desire and you will be accountable for your heart. I am accountable for my heart. The writer assigned lots of motives to my heart that are simply not accurate. I have no ax to grind with David Robinson. Seemed like a good guy when I perused his website. I just cannot understand how he made the judgments about my motives based on what I wrote.

I have had significant ministry success by looking for cultural open doors. I read the DaVinci Code. I watched The Book of Daniel on TV. I read the books by atheists and skeptics. That doesn't make me special or spiritual. It is simply the ministry I have chosen in my very secular job and environment. I want to be prepared to offer a defense of the gospel whenever a door is open by cultural events, debates and even controversies. Paul confronted false gods in Athens. He chose to engage in debate instead of condemning the citizens for false ideas. And he addressed them with truth and grace.

While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was deeply troubled by all the idols he saw everywhere in the city. He went to the synagogue to reason with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and he spoke daily in the public square to all who happened to be there.

He also had a debate with some of the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers. When he told them about Jesus and his resurrection, they said, “What’s this babbler trying to say with these strange ideas he’s picked up?” Others said, “He seems to be preaching about some foreign gods.”

Then they took him to the high council of the city.“Come and tell us about this new teaching,” they said. “You are saying some rather strange things, and we want to know what it’s all about.” It should be explained that all the Athenians as well as the foreigners in Athens seemed to spend all their time discussing the latest ideas.)

So Paul, standing before the council, addressed them as follows: “Men of Athens, I notice that you are very religious in every way, for as I was walking along I saw your many shrines. And one of your altars had this inscription on it: ‘To an Unknown God.’ This God, whom you worship without knowing, is the one I’m telling you about.

“He is the God who made the world and everything in it. Since he is Lord of heaven and earth, he doesn’t live in man-made temples, and human hands can’t serve his needs—for he has no needs. He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need. 26 From one manhe created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.

“His purpose was for the nations to seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. 28 For in him we live and move and exist. As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’ And since this is true, we shouldn’t think of God as an idol designed by craftsmen from gold or silver or stone.

“God overlooked people’s ignorance about these things in earlier times, but now he commands everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and turn to him. For he has set a day for judging the world with justice by the man he has appointed, and he proved to everyone who this is by raising him from the dead.”

When they heard Paul speak about the resurrection of the dead, some laughed in contempt, but others said, “We want to hear more about this later.” That ended Paul’s discussion with them, but some joined him and became believers.

Paul went through an open door. He was prepared. He knew his theology and he demonstrated grace. That is all I am saying about how we as followers of Christ should respond to controversial issues.

I disagree with the motives assigned to me by Mr.Robinson. But I believe that he has a genuine heart to proclaim the precious gospel of Jesus Christ. I hope that we can focus on what unites us as we both seek to serve our Lord.

Watching You...Always

Dave Burchett — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:05:48 GMT

Regular readers of these humble ramblings remember a daring effort called the iPod devotional series. It was daring because I would hit the random shuffle feature and write about whatever song came up in the sequence. Because of my weird music tastes the concept was fraught with potential peril. My marginal integrity was challenged when a song by Toby Keith appeared on the screen but I gave it a shot. Other events and ADD diverted me from the series. Today is author’s choice and the song is called Watching You by country singer Rodney Atkins. The song is reminiscent of a very poignant song by the late Harry Chapin called Cat’s in the Cradle. That song piled guilt on a lot of Dad’s in the 80’s, myself included.

Atkin’s song recalls his shock when his little boy drops a mild expletive after spilling his drink. The horrified Dad demands to know where he heard such language.

He said, I’ve been watching you, dad ain’t that cool?
I’m your buckaroo, I want to be like you.
Yeah, we’re just alike, hey, ain’t we dad
I want to do everything you do.
So I’ve been watching you.

The incident may be humorous but the principle is sobering. Our children learn far more from watching their parents than from listening to them. This little boy demonstrates that if they do listen it will usually be at the wrong time!

The song goes on to detail a great response to his son’s revelation that he picked up that language from someone very close to him.

We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said, “Lord, please help me help my stupid self.”
Just this side of bedtime later that night
Turnin’ on my son’s Scooby-doo nightlight.
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees.
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
Spoke to God like he was talkin’ to a friend.
And I said, “Son, now where’d you learn to pray like that?”

The answer is obvious. He was watching Dad as he had earlier bowed in repentance before the Lord. It took me awhile to figure out that my sons were watching even when they appeared disinterested or even distant. Thanks to a wonderful Mom and a lot of grace we have been blessed with three awesome sons. I have asked them to tell me what I did right and I also asked what I could have done better. Their answers were instructive. First, some positive things that our sons noted.

We picked our battles carefully. Middle Son Scott told us that when we were passionate about an issue he knew it was important to us. We extended grace on most issues. For example, my wife graciously allowed the boy’s rooms to be a bit less tidy than she would have preferred. She knew that was not a battle worth fighting. She simply closed the door to their rooms and prayed for patience and for no rodents to nest.
We prepared them to leave. Children are a gift that are entrusted to us for eighteen years or so. It is our job to prepare them to be independent and functional adults.
We tried to model our faith during trials. When our daughter was born with a terminal birth defect we determined that our response would reflect how faith relates to life and especially to hard times.
We learned to say “I was wrong” and “I am sorry”without “buts”. A wise person once told me that what follows the but is how that person actually feels. Parents must model that for their children.
We carefully monitored friends.
We tried to adapt to their unique design and not try to force them into our personal dreams.
We attempted to innoculate them to sin. An innoculation is a controlled exposure to disease that builds up immunity to that malady. We felt that sheltering our sons from the world would not prepare them to live successfully in it.

But nothing is more important than simply living what you are saying. They are watching. They start out wanting to be just like us. For new parents and future parents there is no more important lesson than recognizing how carefully your children are watching you.

If your kids are grown or nearly grown let me offer a word of encouragement. I did a few things right but I also did some things very poorly. All three sons wished I had worked less and been home more. So do I. But love really does cover a multitude of sins. They have forgiven me for being absent too often. I hope they will learn from my mistakes as they begin families. If you feel you need to reconcile with your kids I would encourage you to do that today. Grace is amazing and redemption is always possible in Jesus.

Paul addressed the church at Thessalonica. He was trying to describe how he attempted to communicate with the believers there. It is instructive that Paul chose the example of parents twice.

As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.

Later Paul makes this comparison.

For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children…

And how does Paul describe those dealings? He says that they communicated like a father that is “encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory”.

That is a pretty good roadmap for a father to follow. Be encouraging. Comfort your child. And urge them to live lives worthy of God. There is no fooling them because they are watching. Always.

A Gentle Balance To The Shack Attack

Dave Burchett — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 17:30:21 GMT

One of the dangers of Christian blogging is dealing with the spiritual hall monitors who seem to live only to smack your heretical knuckles with their ruler of truth. So I risk their wrath (carefully chosen word) with today’s post.

The novel The Shack has begun a wave of debate, hand-wringing, defensiveness and condemnation in Evangelical circles. The book has been called dangerous, subversive and heretical by many critics. I didn’t know any of this when a friend told me that he really enjoyed the book and I should read it. Since I have a book addiction I soon was in possession. I finished The Shack last week. I thought it was a decent and often good read. I was challenged and touched by parts of the story. And, to be honest, I was bothered by some of it. After finishing the book I did some internet research on what others were saying about the book. Some of the critiques were valuable and thoughtful. These writers pointed out where the book deviated from scripture. Some of the orthodox theological missteps were outlined in clear detail. A thorough review of those concerns was written by author/blogger Tim Challies. I would suggest you balance that critique with another perspective to those objections from author Wayne Jacobson. I will stay away from the theological debate because Tim and Wayne have done it so well. Instead I want to offer a few gentle propositions to consider for my fellow followers of Jesus as the discussion heats up.

Be careful about disparaging The Shack’s author, William P Young. Please be cautious about assigning motives to a person you don’t know from Adam and Eve’s first house cat. I know that I have been called things that were really surprising by my brothers and sisters in the faith simply because they disagreed with something I wrote. The truth is that I now disagree with some of things I wrote and I still think I am a decent guy. Mr. Young apparently was deeply wounded by Christians who should have protected him. I don’t believe Mr.Young set out to write a book that would rock the evangelical community. Apparently he didn’t even write the book with the thought of being published. It was originally written for family members to help them deal with their pain. It doesn’t seem that he set out with sinister motives to undermine theological orthodoxy. He is a fellow wounded traveler trying to reconcile his woundedness. When his theology goes astray I am suggesting that we gracefully point out those areas and don’t attack Mr. Young. Defending truth with grace is always the most effective tactic. But our passion for truth too often makes grace the first thing we jettison.
Be careful how you share your concerns with others. When I read comments like “are these people just blind to heresy?” I cringe. Because you reinforce the feelings of so many people that are moved by this book. They have experienced a Christianity that is judgmental and sometimes downright mean. If your heart is to be a guardian of truth you will damage that worthy desire by harsh criticism of those who are touched by The Shack.
Be prayerful about why this book has connected so surprisingly with millions. I think I know some reasons why this book is resonating with so many. Those of us raised in the desert of legalism are desperate for the cool, refreshing waters of grace. Those of us who have been wounded by other Christians want more than anything to believe that Jesus does love us and our experience is not how it should be in the church. We need guardians of the truth of God’s Word but we also need those guardians to be shepherds that care and not just condemn. Some of the articles have been so stern that I felt like I would be sent to after school detention when the writer was done. That doesn’t help a wounded believer. Jesus said to both feed and take care of His sheep.
Dogmatically telling people to not read the book may not be the best approach. If we know one thing about the law it is that telling us not do something generally inflames our sin nature. If someone wants to read the book give them thoughtful cautions and then discuss how they felt about the book later.
Don’t automatically decide you won’t read the book. If you don’t want to contribute to Mr. Young’s income then go to the library and check it out. Why should you consider doing that if you believe the book is off base? Because of a principle that I harp on over and over. When people open spiritual doors we should have enough sense to go through them. Instead we tend to slam those doors and then go knock loudly on doors that are closed. Obviously this book is connecting. There is a deep spiritual hunger in America. If a fellow believer or seeker comments on the book it will do little good to look down our spiritual nose and let them know the book is all wrong. The next question will be this one. “Did you read it?” If the answer is no that will be the end of debate for most that are touched by this book. Because it is an emotional book they will disconnect from your concerns if you did not even have enough intellectual curiosity to read the book. Instead I would suggest you read it and then engage the reader. You will be able to get through some pretty intimate doors that this book opens and have a great discussion of truth and grace.
Be aware that God is doing just fine. I have seen some pretty dire warnings about this book. One of the critiques that I read often is that the book makes God small. Aren’t we also making God small by being so concerned about the possible damage done by this book? God can, will and is using this book. I agree the theology gets shaky at times. But the truth is that The Shack is causing many people to think about things they have never considered. Some are willing to try again after being deeply wounded. Shouldn’t we be praying that God will use us to come alongside these souls as they search and seek the truth?
Acknowledge that there are the things this book does well. When you go negative it causes people to get defensive. It does more harm to make people who feel abandoned or hurt by the church feel “stupid” because they don’t know as much theology as you do. If you know that much theology don’t forget the grace sections. Mr. Challis writes these words about some of the positives in the book. “He affirms the absolute nature of what is good and teaches that evil exists only in relation to what is good; he challenges the reader to understand that God is inherently good and that we can only truly trust God if we believe Him to be good; he acknowledges the human tendency to create our image of God by looking at human qualities and assuming that God is simply the same but more so; he attempts to portray the loving relationships within the Trinity; and so on. For these areas I am grateful as they provided helpful correctives to many false understandings of God.”
Recognize the hunger in the body of Christ. While some of the theology in The Shack is askew I would suggest that the theology of millions of people in the church is also deficient. We have done a poor job of teaching (or understanding) some of the key teachings of Scripture. Most of us get salvation. We could not be reconciled to a Holy God on our own. But then it seems to get a bit spotty. Too many of us don’t understand key theological truths like who we are in Christ, who God says we are and who God says He is. We know truth but don’t trust it. What is in our head doesn’t invade our heart. The Shack has touched the hearts of millions. The door is open for a thoughtful and real discussion. I pray that we don’t blow it.

P.S. If you want a resource that is theologically sound about the topics above I continue to recommend TrueFaced. It is the best and most challenging book on practical theology I have ever read. Instead of taking readers of The Shack to the woodshed get this book and take them to the room of grace.

Do The "Rat" Thing...

Dave Burchett — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:47:38 GMT

(Please accept this gently read previously posted article. Stay tuned for freshly minted blogs coming soon)

WASHINGTON - Gritty rats and mice living in sewers and farms seem to have healthier immune systems than their squeaky clean cousins that frolic in cushy antiseptic labs, two studies indicate. The lesson for humans: Clean living may make us sick. That was the AP story that caught my attention yesterday. And I pondered the odd theory that these disgusting rodents may offer a clue to ineffectual Christian living as well. Let us explore.

Associated Press Science writer Seth Borenstein writes about the recent research.

The studies give more weight to a 17-year-old theory that the sanitized Western world may be partly to blame for soaring rates of human allergy and asthma cases and some autoimmune diseases, such as Type I diabetes and rheumatoid arthritis. The theory, called the hygiene hypothesis, figures that people's immune systems aren't being challenged by disease and dirt early in life, so the body's natural defenses overreact to small irritants such as pollen.

The new studies, one of which was published Friday in the peer reviewed Scandinavian Journal of Immunology, found significant differences in the immune systems between euthanized wild and lab rodents.

When the immune cells in the wild rats are stimulated by researchers, "they just don't do anything they sit there; if you give them same stimulus to the lab rats, they go crazy," said study co-author Dr. William Parker, a Duke University professor of experimental surgery. He compared lab rodents to more than 50 wild rats and mice captured and killed in cities and farms.

A rat at a Brooklyn subway stop – AP Photo

Also, the wild mice and rats had as much as four times higher levels of immunoglobulins, yet weren't sick, showing an immune system tuned to fight crucial germs, but not minor irritants, Parker said. He said what happened in the lab rats is what likely occurs in humans: their immune systems have got it so cushy they overreact to smallest of problems.

Challenged immune systems — such as kids who grow up with two or more pets — don't tend to develop as many allergies, said Dr. Stanley Goldstein, director of Allergy & Asthma Care of Long Island.

Human epidemiological studies have long given credence to the hygiene theory, showing that allergy and asthma rates were higher in the cleaner industrialized areas than in places such as Africa. Parker's studies, looking at animal differences, may eventually help scientists find when, where and how environmental exposure help protect against future allergies and immune disorders, said Goldstein, and Dr. Jeffrey Platt of the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota., both of whom were not part of Parker's studies.

Parker said he hopes to build a 50-foot artificial sewer for his next step, so that he could introduce the clean lab rats to an artificial dirty environment and see how and when the immunity was activated.

That may be the biggest thing to come out of the wild and lab rodent studies, Platt said: "Then all of a sudden it becomes possible to expose people to the few things (that exercise the immune system) and gives them the benefit of the dirty environment without having to expose them to the dirt."

A couple of thoughts immediately come to mind. First, how do you sell your boss on building a 50 foot artificial sewer? Second, I remembered the house that eldest and second sons lived in during their college years. Squeamish parents would stop at a gas station to use the bathroom before visiting the guys. We wondered why they were not sick all of the time. Now I realize that they were probably healthier than I ever could have hoped. These men utilized the brilliant strategy of creating an artificially dirty environment to stimulate a healthy immune system. It is always great when science validates slothfulness. And it is even greater when you can figure out a way to incorporate slothfulness into a sentence.

But how does this relate to an ineffectual Christian life? I think that the average Christian in America has also compromised our spiritual immune system by choosing a cushy and safe Christian experience. We have tuned our immune system not to fight crucial sin in our lives but to dwell on minor irritants. When you talk to fellow Christians are you passionately concerned about communicating the gospel to the world or about some minor irritant (person or program) at your church? Do we agonize over injustice in the world or petty injustice in our lives? Have we programmed our spiritual immune systems to battle pride and selfishness? Not likely. And by the way…I did not fare well in the pop quiz posed in this paragraph.

And the rats may hold another clue. I recently read a quote from an excellent book called Organic Church. The author noted that to reach the world for Christ we have to be willing to sit in the smoking section. I don’t mean to imply that all smokers are not Christian. The point is we have to be willing to get out of our “comfort bunkers”.

Paul wrote this to the Roman church.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Paul is not saying that we are to avoid being conformed to the world by isolation from it. We are instead to be transformed by the Holy Spirit renewing our mind. Isolation does not transform us at all. If anything, isolation makes us lukewarm. Because we can’t have a robust spiritual immune system if we live in a sterile sanctuary environment only. And that may be where the rats can teach us the biggest lesson. Our tendency is to stay in the sterile lab (church) and never venture into the sewer (lives of hurting people). We have too often chosen the safe route of turning on the light and praying those in need will come to the light. Some will. But most will not. Instead we are called to take the light to those in need. Jesus noted that in the Sermon on the Mount.

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

When Jesus says to let your light shine before men I think He was talking about Monday through Saturday as well as Sunday. I am sick of Sunday Christians. I have spent too many years putting my light under a bowl. I have too often chosen the safe and antiseptic sanctuary over the authentic and often dirty sewer of people in need. I want my spiritual immune system to attack real threats and not minor irritants.

That scares me. But not as much as not pursuing that scares me.

Happiest Day Of The Year Off To A Rocky Start

Dave Burchett — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:39:23 GMT

I was rummaging through various news sites and I found that today is the happiest day of the year. Since my delayed flight arrived at 2 in the morning and they couldn’t find our rent car I nearly missed this joyous day.

According to a scholar in seasonal disorders at a British university you should feel happier than you have all year today. Cliff Arnall has analyzed such factors as outdoor activities, nature, social interaction, childhood memories, temperature and holidays — data gathered over a period of nearly 20 years in interviews with thousands of people around the world. His conclusion is that for 2008 today, June 20th, is the happiest day of the year. "People across borders experience happiness when they meet with friends and family and establish close social relationships," the University of Cardiff academic reported. "We need some close emotional ties." He used what he considers a "simple equation" to reach his conclusion — O + (N x S) + Cpm/T + He. O stands for outdoor activities, N for nature, S for social interaction, Cpm for childhood summers and positive memories, T for temperature and He for holidays and looking forward to time off.

Because I have written a lot about civility I am trying to be kind about this formula. Would it be impolite to suggest that I also have a formula about trying to determine the happiest day of the year? Mine would be something like this. P (H) = TN. P for predicting, H for happiness, TN for Total Nonsense. I guess the grumpy old man factor came out there. I can understand how summer time, family, memories, and so on would lead to potential happiness. I also realize this is not hard science and a fun argument so please hold your cards and letters.

Why I am a bit skeptical of circumstance based formulas for happiness? Because I am beginning to figure out that you can have joy even when circumstances wouldn’t necessarily reflect that emotion. Circumstances might dictate that today is far from the happiest day for you. Joni and I have traveled a difficult journey over the past three years as we navigated her breast cancer battle.

We found joy in this formula. J + P + (F x L) + T = Joy.

J is for Jesus, P is for Prayer, F is for friends, L is for laughter, and T is for trust. The formula works for us.

The Psalmist wrote these words.

This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

He has made both June 20th and the 364 less happy days that are envious of today. But I am actually okay with calling this the happiest day of the year for me. Because I am choosing to follow the instruction of Nehemiah to Ezra. You might remember these words from a Sunday School song.

For the joy of the LORD is your strength

Circumstance will too often rob you of joy. The airline industry certainly does their part. But you can choose joy in the Lord today. Mix liberal does of Jesus, prayer, friends and laughter together. Trust that it will work. Repeat tomorrow.

Devotions With Montgomery Gentry

Dave Burchett — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:16:25 GMT

Okay, I admit it. I like country music. I also like rock, Motown, jazz, pop, folk, gospel and classical music. But I once tried to distance from country in an ill-fated attempt to be sophisticated. To quote an old family idiom that effort was like putting earrings on a hog. I am a small town boy and my roots are in the hills of Kentucky. So I no longer deny that I have a few banjos and some fine squirrel recipes in my genetic pool.

In addition to the chromosomal predisposition toward Nashville I am developing a deep appreciation for the honesty of country music. It is one of the few safe places to discuss God and country and marriage and old fashioned values without fear of politically correct busybodies getting their undergarments twisted. We all laugh at a few outrageously titled country tunes but there are many that reflect exactly who I am. A proud father, a husband who married way up, a patriotic American and an unabashed follower of Jesus. Not exactly attributes that would make me an A-lister at elite parties.

So a couple of days ago I downloaded (legally) the latest CD from country duo Montgomery Gentry. I had used their song Some People Change in an earlier iPod Devotional article. As dog friend Hannah and I walked I was amazed at how many of their songs led me to spiritual thoughts and meditation. So here is a little review of my Montgomery Gentry devotional.

The first cut on the album begins with a fiery preacher railing at an old fashioned revival meetin’. I remembered stories of churches that took the verse in Mark about juggling snakes quite literally while ignoring many other important texts like love your neighbor. I would need a burning bush from God to pursue that activity (I mean the snake part). But the song reminded me of how we hang our hats on verses and things that don’t matter and miss the meaning, maturity and mission that God has for us.

The title track, Back When I Knew It All, resonated with me. The lyrics describe the passage of many of us.

Back when the world was flat and mama and daddy didn't have a clue
That was back...back when a pitcher of beer and a couple shots made me bulletproof
Back when God was a name I used in vain to get a point across when I got ticked off
Lord I'm learning so much more......than back when I knew it all

I realize now how little I really knew about being a man and about walking with Jesus. I had bad theology and bad motives so it should come as no big surprise that I was a bad Christian. I was judgmental because I knew exactly what those “sinners” should be doing. I didn’t know their circumstances or challenges. I didn’t care enough to pray for them or come alongside them to help. I just knew they were wrong and I was better than them. At least I felt that way back when I knew it all. Here is another part of the lyric…

I've learned that love is a woman that will settle you down
a Sunday sermon can turn life around
Man I can't believe all the answers I've found
since ....back when I knew it all

The song “Long Line of Losers” talks about coming from a unusually dysfunctional family even by country music standards. One line stood out to me.

My bloodline made me who I am.

I thought about the incredible Gospel and how putting your trust in Jesus can reverse that long line of losers legacy. The Cross is not only about forgiveness of sin but also about receiving a new identity. Our old self is also put to death. That long line of losers label no longer applies to those who trust Christ. That old loser mentality is no longer who we are but we have a really hard time trusting that truth. My family bloodline made me who I was. God says that the bloodline of His Son makes me who I am.

“When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous…” (Titus 3, NLT)

God has declared me righteous. A saint. His child. Amazing.

The theme continued with the song God Knows Who I Am. The words talk about realizing that God knows exactly who I am and He still loves me completely. I once agreed completely with the theology expressed in this bit of lyric from that song.

I’m a full time sinner and a part time saint
I ain’t afraid of fear
If it makes me a better man
God knows who I am

Now I have to gently disagree with that theology. I have changed my view of who I am. I have a new identity. I am a full-time saint that still sometimes sins. That is not how I feel a lot of the time. But that is who God says I am. And who am I to argue?

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. (2 Cor 5, NLT)

God knows who I am and He says I am changed. He sees Christ in me. I stand in amazement and worship. And that realization, not fear, makes me a better man.

There's Gotta Be Something More...

Dave Burchett — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:40:57 GMT

Monday’s are always an exciting time to walk the world wide dog web for canine friend Hannah. She found dozens of obviously urgent p-mails apparently left over the weekend. And she left more messages than I thought was physiologically possible. I thought I was going to have to hook her up to an IV to ward off dehydration. I have to say that Hannah provided the only amusement for this morning.

My thoughts and prayers were wrapped around fellow followers of Jesus that are hurting today. Some are very close to me. Some I know only because they have connected through my books and blogs. This message in the cyber mailbox is typical of many that I receive.

I really enjoyed your book, When Bad Christians happen to Good People. The problem is that I'm one of those good people. I have been a pastor for over 8 years and I'm done. I've been hurt so many times that I can't care for people anymore because I can't take one more shot of pain when they turn on me. I need to get out of the professional Christian area of life.

That just breaks my heart. It seems to be far too common in the church. And I know already that some of you reading those comments are thinking things like this…

Come on. Suck it up. Get in the Word. Why are you doing this anyway? Didn’t Jesus say we would suffer? Buck up! Try harder! Quit whining. Yada-yada-yada.

I have been the person that thought those thoughts. Forgive me. Now I wrap myself in grace and pray for these wounded saints. I know far too many people who are sincere and dedicated followers of Christ who are tired, discouraged and ready to give up. At best they hope to live out the strategy I saw on a t-shirt recently.

Get out of bed
Survive
Go back to bed

They hope at the end of that cycle there will be eternity with Jesus. During the morning sojourn I listened to a song by Sugarland that expressed my frustration. The song was written about a unfullfilling job and bad boss but the chorus nicely fits a unfullfilling life and bad theology.

There's gotta be something more
Gotta be more than this
I need a little less hard time
I need a little more bliss
I'm gonna take my chances
Taking a chance I might
Find what I'm looking for
There's gotta be something more

My heart and spirit tell me there has to be more than this. When I put my full trust in Christ almost four decades ago I did not sign up to be sad, discouraged and tired. In the past year God has been showing me that it does not have to be that way. There is something more. I have realized a couple of things that cause us to spiritually flatline.

We don’t know, don’t remember or don’t really trust who God says He is.
We don’t know, don’t remember or don’t really trust who God says we are.

If we believe that God is loving, powerful and faithful then we can put our full trust in that truth. If we believe we are forgiven completely, given a new identity, made holy in His sight, and called His child then we can believe we are worthy to receive God’s love.

But I would submit that most of us fall short on one or both of those items. I have mentioned before that the book TrueFaced and the Grace Romans CD series have literally changed my relationship with Jesus. I talked one of my TV buddies into checking out the Grace Romans CD series. I just got this message last week.

Subject: Mind being blown up...

"OK so today I got to Romans 8:5-11....the 1st one on the Holy Spirit...man it was so powerful...I sat in my chair this morning stunned....it is one of those things...I kinda knew it...but did not really get it..(not that I do now fully)...but oh man...I can't wait till the study stuff gets here so I can dive even deeper...thanks again for the recommendation..."

If any of this resonates with you I would ask, exhort, beg and plead with you to order the TrueFaced book, Romans TrueFaced Grace CD series or both. I get nothing out of this. I just believe it is the most approachable and clearest book on practical theology that I have found. Maybe I will beg you to buy my next book that covers what God has been revealing to me when it is published. But for now I paraphrase the video professor dude.

Buy their product.

There is something more. I pray you will find it. Don’t give up till you do.

Enough From The Horse's Mouth...Let's Hear From The Colts

Dave Burchett — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:35:49 GMT

Every dad leaves a legacy. I have learned a few things through trial and many errors about being a dad who is trying to leave a positive legacy. Previous installments detailed two ways to leave a good legacy.

Love Your Wife
Affirm Your Kids

Today we will examine two more ways to establish a positive legacy. And we are adding a very dangerous twist today. I polled my three sons about my strengths and (gasp) shortcomings as their father. Those knee-buckling results were both sobering and encouraging.

First, the third way to leave a positive legacy as a dad.

3. Enjoy every mile of the journey

The best description I have heard about being a parent is this bit of wisdom: “Parenting…the days are long and the years are short.”

In his book, Being a Good Dad When You Didn't Have One, Tim Wesemann gives his readers a two-word piece of advice: "Lighten up!" He says that adults laugh an average of 15 times a day while children laugh 400 more times. "Sometime between childhood and adulthood, we lose 385 laughs a day! That's a great loss!" Wesemann says. "Maybe we need not only the faith of a child but the funny bone of one as well."

I agree. One of my favorite moments happened on a family trip. Brett is several years younger than his siblings. I was addressing his older brothers’ behavior when I snapped at the boys and said in my best dad voice, “You are acting like children." Brett was only five, and he thought I was including him in the accusation. He pondered the comment and then said, “But I am a children." The laughter from the backseat derailed my dad authority and it definitely lightened the moment. The family that can laugh together has a huge advantage in the journey.

The Psalmist wrote these words: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward." Sometimes it is hard to remember what a blessing those little ones are when they are holding their breath at Wal-Mart. I encourage parents to enjoy every phase of their children’s journey. And I learned that what your children take away as favorite memories may be surprising. One of the questions I asked my sons was their favorite memories of time with me. I expected that they would remember the big trips we took together or some expensive outing. I was humbled by their responses.

Firstborn son Matt: "My favorite memories are throwing the baseball/football in the front yard of our Pecan Valley house, going to baseball games and growing up around sports."

Secondborn son Scott: "Playing catch in the backyard for hours on end, even when your knees hurt. Going to cut down Christmas Trees every November and stopping at the Dairy Queen on the way home."

Youngest son Brett: "You coaching my sports teams and going to cut down the Christmas tree."

It was the little things that counted for them. The memories that really mattered to them were things that cost me only time. Each one of the boys felt valued when they felt I had sacrificed or made a special effort to spend time with them. I thought the big things mattered the most but I was wrong.

4. Be a Role Model

The fourth way to leave a positive legacy is to model what you are teaching. Here is a powerful quote from Clarence Budington Kelland: “My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and he let me watch him do it.” Wow. I have seen that prove out in my own life. I can tell you exactly what my father modeled for me, but I would have a hard time remembering any of his lectures. I believe that is an overlooked component of the wisdom expressed in Proverbs: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." That training should include being a role model and then the verbal training will sink in. Being an authentic role model makes the message effective.

You are a role model for your children, like it or not. Your children will, to one degree or another, model their lives after you. You have inherited some of your father's characteristics and your children are inheriting some of yours.

Brett wrote in his responses, "you are my biggest influence for everything." Scary. Whether you know it or not (or mean to or not), you are influencing the lives of your children and your children's children.

You ARE a role model and every dad needs to reflect on that responsibility.

In Deuteronomy we find a great bit of advice for dads: “Just make sure you stay alert. Keep close watch over yourselves. Don't forget anything of what you've seen. Don't let your heart wander off. Stay vigilant as long as you live. Teach what you've seen and heard to your children and grandchildren.”

You are preparing your children to leave home. That is your job as parents. Someday, they'll take what they've learned from you and begin to apply it out in the real world. You've got approximately 18 years to get them ready. I have joked that Joni and I had a sign on their bedroom doors that read, “Checkout Time is 18 Years…No Exceptions!” But we both believed we were stewards of our sons with the charge of preparing them to leave.

When I asked my boys what I had taught them, this is what I read:

From Scott: "You taught me to love the Lord and trust Him with my life. Your spiritual growth over the past decade has inspired me and taught me a lot about how to grow in the Lord. You taught me to be loyal and hard working in everything I'm involved with, and most importantly, to never give up. Burchet's aren't quitters, even if they want to be sometimes."

From Brett: "You taught me how to be a strong Christian man and how to play sports."

From Matt: "Never quit something you started. Work hard. Do everything with excellence. Treat everybody with respect and genuine kindness."

Before you think that I am some really great Dad, let's return to the third question I asked the boys: what they wish I had done differently. Their responses were consistent and they saddened me. I share this in the hope that young dads will take this to heart.

Matt: "I wish you could have been home more."
Scott: "I wish you could have been home more."
Brett: "I wish you could have been home more."

And here is what I wish I had done differently. I wish I would have been home more. I cannot change the past. God is gracious and loving. My relationship with all of my boys is wonderful despite those misplaced priorities at times. Love does cover a multitude of sins. My sons know they are loved. They know they have my approval and respect. I am blessed by them.

Want To Leave A Legacy? Affirm Your Children.

Dave Burchett — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 13:07:57 GMT

Every dad leaves a legacy. The only question is what kind. The first step to leaving a positive legacy is to love your wife. For some readers that already has not worked out. That does not mean that you cannot leave a good legacy. There are many ways to redeem the father/child relationship. The second part of leaving a legacy that endures is to be an encouragement to your kids. Paul wrote this simple instruction to the church at Colossae.

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

The Message translates this verse like this….

Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.

I cannot remember hearing a lot of teaching on that verse over the years. It is really easy in this success mad culture to discourage your children. Nearly every dad wants his child to be successful. What is wrong with that desire? There is nothing wrong if we balance that desire with love and encouragement and awareness of your child’s unique design. Sometimes we forget the journey we have traveled in our own lives. Frank Clark said that “a father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be." Ouch.

I came into this whole Dad thing wanting a star athlete or a brilliant scholar. But I had forgotten one little detail. Where did I expect they would dig up those genes to be an All-American quarterback or Rhodes Scholar? I deepened my gene pool considerably when I married Joni but she can only contribute so much.

What I got were three guys ranging from average to very good athletic ability. Very bright but not genius. What God gave me was three godly men of integrity. Men that are kind and loving. I have been blessed more by their character and wisdom than I could have possibly have been blessed by awards and trophies.

When Scripture says that God is our Father, it is telling us that emotional needs can be met by Him. This is where our role as Christian dads becomes so important. There are no perfect earthly dads. But it is critical that we understand the impact that we have on our child’s relationship with God. Some may find it hard to get excited about the scriptural descriptions of God as a father because of the imperfect models of fatherhood they have experienced here on earth.

Some remember a father who was too wrapped up in his job, his buddies, and his hobbies to provide much support or affirmation. He might have been one of those men who believed that their only job was to bring home a paycheck, while Mom was responsible for everything else. Others might recall a dad that was demanding, cold, and unapproachable. Children can tend to transpose their father experience when they think of God as Father. Harold S. Hubert said that “children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.” That is grace. That helps a child to understand how they can receive God’s love.

I have talked to many men my age who are still desperate for the approval of their fathers. And I know that is true for women as well. Jim Valvano, the now deceased coach, said "My father gave me the greatest gift that anyone could give another person, he believed in me."

In the last post I noted that I had asked my sons to critique my performance as a dad…both good and bad. Here is one comment from eldest son Matt.

The biggest lesson you taught me was to believe in my ability to accomplish things I never thought possible. From the kid who got C's in 8th grade math to going to graduate school at a great university. I could never have accomplished this without parents, and a father, that believed in me.

Don't EXPECT your children to be perfect. Don't expect them to meet all of your expectations. Don’t expect them to fulfill all of your goals for them…to be what you want them to be. Be grateful for the unique way God designed your kids. Too many fathers try to live out their own lives through their children. Every child is different. They are not a clone of you (Thank God!).

My son Scott wrote about something that he wished I had done differently.

I wish that you would have made more of an effort to understand me and my personality at an earlier age. I think Mom did a good job at this, but that might have just been because I opened up to her more.

This is a great example of how husbands and wives are a team. Joni told me that I needed to spend more time with Scott. She sensed what I did not. She told me that I gravitated to his brother who was more like me. She made me mad, hurt my feelings and made me feel like a bad dad. And thank God she did that. I became intentional about coaching Scott's teams and being with him. It still took a few years for us to really understand one another but I believe Joni's loving intervention saved our relationship. Today our relationship is awesome. Who knows what would have happened if my bride had not challenged me about that shortcoming in my relating to Scott.

Father’s Day might be a great time to give a gift back to your children. The gift of affirmation. Perhaps the gift of forgiveness.

Ernest Hemingway wrote a short story called "The Capital of the World". Hemingway told the story of a father and his teenage son. The son had sinned against his father and in his shame he ran away from home. The father searched all over Spain for him, but still he could not find the boy. Finally, in the city of Madrid, in a last desperate attempt to find his son, the father placed an ad in the daily newspaper. The ad read:

"PACO MEET AT HOTEL MONTANA NOON TUESDAY ALL IS FORGIVEN PAPA."

The father prayed that maybe the boy would see the ad and maybe - just maybe - he would come to the Hotel Montana.

And on Tuesday at noon, the father in Ernest Hemingway's story arrived at the Hotel Montana and he could not believe his eyes. A squadron of police officers had been called out to keep order among the eight hundred young boys named "Paco" who had come to meet their father in front of the Hotel Montana. Eight hundred boys named Paco read the ad in the newspaper and hoped it was for them. Eight hundred "Pacos" came to receive the forgiveness they so desperately needed.

All children want the approval of their fathers. I am not talking about the ridiculous and disingenuous "you are the best at everything" drivel that some parents spew. Eventually the child will figure out that you are not being authentic. I am talking about affirming what is true about their unique design.

Affirmations like "you are kind."
"You are creative."
"You are honest."

But mainly your child needs to hear this. "You are enough. I love you for who you are."

If you have not done so, I encourage you to give the gift of approval this Father’s Day. Give your children the gift of believing in them. Step 2 to leaving a positive legacy as a dad is simple. Encourage your children. Affirm them with grace and honesty. You will be amazed at the power of that simple act.

Every Dad Will Leave A Legacy - Good, Bad or Indifferent

Dave Burchett — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 13:09:35 GMT

Humor writer Dave Barry compiled a list of things it took him 50 years to learn. I have selected a handful of Barry’s observations.

1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.
2. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
3. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background,is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
4. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
5. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
6. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

I am also a slow learner. But one thing I have learned in my journey is that every dad leaves a legacy. The only question is whether that legacy will be good, bad, or indifferent. Over the next few days I am going to write about some things I have learned about leaving a legacy that, hopefully, is good.

Being a father is tough because we generally learn how to parent while on the job. From the “I can’t make this stuff up” department I found this article a couple of years ago about a celebrity couple who decided to “prep” for parenthood. Hilary Swank and her husband Chad Lowe believed they were getting plenty of parental practice before having a child of their own - by looking after a pair of parrots.

The couple, who live in New York City, have faced constant questions throughout their eight-year marriage about when they'll be ready to start a family. He says, "(Hilary and I) are very eager to have kids, and having parrots is great baby training.

"They need to be fed twice a day, they need love and support, and we teach them their ABCs.”

But I would suggest that the parrots are not a real complete course in parenting. For example…

Until you have had to walk the floor with a screaming parrot all night long…you still have a lot to learn.
Until the principal calls you in because your parrot is fighting with the parakeets during recess… you still have a lot to learn.
Until your parrot spits up on your outfit as you are trying to leave the house… you still have a lot to learn.
Until your parrots start picking on each other in the back seat of the SUV 30 miles into your 300-mile drive…you still have a lot to learn.
Until your parrot throws himself on the floor at the supermarket and turns red because you won't buy Count Chocula cereal…you still have a lot to learn.

Swank and Lowe go on about their parrot training. They repeat everything you say. They love to pick up four-letter words, so you really have to watch it. Luckily, we don't curse a lot."

ADD detour…perhaps every church should invest in a parrot for each family. And then they should rotate the parrots every six months. That might kill the gossip virus in the church.

Just took the medication and I am back on track…Ken Druck and James Simmons in their book The Secrets Men Keep discuss six major secrets men have. At the top of the list is that "men secretly yearn for their fathers love and approval." This is often without their conscious knowledge that this yearning manifests itself in the drive that many males have to prove themselves. The authors say:

It may surprise us to know that the most powerful common denominator influencing men's lives today is the relationship we had with our fathers .... Of the hundreds of men I have surveyed over the years, perhaps 90 percent admitted they still had strings leading back to their fathers. In other words, they are still looking to their fathers, even though their fathers may have been dead for years, for approval, acceptance, affection, and understanding.

This series is not about being a perfect dad. If it were, I would be totally unqualified to write it. This series is not about piling guilt on you for mistakes made. I am not looking for the result like the boy who said to his preacher on the way out, "Boy, that was a good sermon. My dad slumped way down today." This series is seeing what God’s plan is for leaving a positive legacy as an earthly father.

The first way to leave a good legacy is found in Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (NIV, Ephesians 5:25) The translation in The Message says this.

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church--a love marked by giving, not getting.

The number one way to leave a great legacy for your children is very simple:

Love your wife.

If you are already 0 for 1…or 0 for 2…hang with me. God is a God of grace and compassion. We will see how He can work even when the ideal is no longer possible in upcoming posts.

The idea of marriage as an absolute commitment is an endangered species. Actor Brad Pitt has confessed he knew his marriage to Jennifer Aniston would never last. He said in a recent interview that he never expected to be wed forever. He described his high-profile breakup as "beautiful." Pitt seemed frustrated about the public perception… "It's talked about like it failed. I guess because it wasn't flawless." Now comes Pitt's wisdom about marriage: "Me, I embrace the messiness of life. I find it so beautiful, actually. The idea that marriage has to be for all time - that I don't understand."

Our culture has devalued marriage to the point where people enter relationships on a trial basis with no expectation that it can last. I will guarantee you one thing…that mindset will make it far more likely that it will not last. Had Joni and I shared that value we would be a stat and our children would be from a divided home. Why should followers of Jesus believe that marriage is for all time? A report by Warren Mueller revealed that where both parents attend church regularly, 72% of their children continue in the faith. Where only the father attends, that percentage drops to 55 percent, but where only the mother attends, just 15 percent of the children remain involved in the church.

Theodore M. Hesburgh wrote that the “most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”.

Your children watch how you treat their mother. They WATCH … and they are LEARNING and FORMING their concept of marriage from YOU. You are creating a PATTERN, a BLUEPRINT for marriage with your children. I struggled as a husband because I had not seen that blueprint in my parents' marriage. My Dad was a good dad but my parents did not have a good marriage. Joni and I had to break the cycle because she also came from a difficult family situation. Because we broke the cycle our kids have seen a marriage that survived, and not only survived but is very happy. But we had to do a lot of learning on the job.

Part of my preparation for this series was a survey of my three sons…I know…it makes you want to hum the music and do that thing with the hands and knees they did at the beginning of the show. I asked my sons three questions and not one of them was “What is your quest”.

What were their favorite memories with me?
What did they learn from me as a dad?
And what do they wish I had done differently?

Yeah…that last question scared me for one major reason. My sons are truthful. But I figured if I had done something really wrong in their eyes I wanted to seek forgiveness now. Plus I would have a written document so if they turned up on Dr. Phil someday I can say I gave them a chance and they didn't say anything. Seriously, I thought the exercise would make them consider how they could be better father someday…how they could break more cycles.

Our oldest son Matt wrote a little extra in his letter:

And thank you for being committed to Mom. It is a rarity to have a family that is not broken. But you gave up bigger things to make sure we stayed together and that has made all the difference.

If you are still able to control this one move it to the top of your list. The first step to leaving a good legacy as a dad is to love your wife!

How to "Tee Up" Discipleship

Dave Burchett — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 21:33:16 GMT

The morning perusal of The Dallas Morning News turned up an interesting article on sports psychologists. The story told about a young and very talented area golfer that has had his game improved by a sports psychologist. Here is a bit of that article.

Sixteen-year-old Fort Worth golfer Robert Perry remembers losing focus and blowing a 3-under-par, tournament-leading round, resulting in a four-over-par exercise in embarrassment. Parents and coaches had told him, and he knew, he needed to play one shot at a time.

"People can tell you to do things all they want to," he says. "But until they show you how, you can't do it."

And it occurred to me that sixteen-year-old golfer Robert Perry had beautifully summed up the essence of Christian discipleship. This journey with Jesus is hard. We need others to come along side us and show us how. I don’t need one more person telling me to read more Scripture, pray more fervently and strive to be more godly. I have heard that for three decades.

Show me how. Walk with me as I learn. That is discipleship. Paul wrote a pretty good little job description to Titus.

Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives.

But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around. (Titus 2, The Message)

Show them. What a concept! So the whole judging and condemning thing doesn’t work? The Morning News had a checklist from Robert Perry. His list is very adaptable to the concept of discipleship. He calls them mantras. When translated to God’s plan I would call them truths. Perhaps the term discipler has lost it’s meaning or seems archaic. So call yourself a journey coach or whatever you wish. But the fact is that the body of Christ desperately needs followers of Jesus who are willing to teach and especially show others how to mature in their faith. Here are Mr.Perry’s excellent sports pointers and how they can be adapted to discipleship.

• Keep it simple.

Discipleship Version: Keep it simple. Jesus gave us a simple game plan. Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and your neighbor as yourself.

• Look like a winner.

Discipleship Version: You are a winner. When you put your trust in Jesus you became a new creature. You are changed. You are a saint in the eyes of God.

• Focus on the now.

Discipleship Version: Focus on who you are. You are not who you used to be. You have been changed. So your past has no power over you now.

• Hit one shot at a time.

Discipleship Version: Live in the moment in the power of His Holy Spirit. Satan would have you live in regret of the past (already redeemed and no longer valid) or in fear of the future (already securely in the hands of a trustworthy God). So live today fully.

• Avoid golf chatter and the inevitable negative memories that arise.

Discipleship Version: Avoid gossip and negative chatter. Don’t allow those old tapes of who you used to be discourage and defeat you. That is not who you are now.

• Don't go for the perfect shot; aim for consistency. In golf terms, that means focus on hitting pars, not birdies.

Discipleship Version: To quote my old friend John Weber (who is now with Jesus)…”Don’t strive to be spectacular. Strive to be faithful.”

• Don't worry about what other people think. Focus on what you're doing. What will happen, will happen.

Discipleship Version: Find a safe place where you tell others what is true about you…both good and bad. That will help you mature into a authentic follower of Christ in an atmosphere of grace.

• You're the one in control. Your opponent has nothing to do with how you hit the golf ball.

Discipleship Version: A one-hundred eighty degree reversal. You are not the one in control. You can’t justify your sins by your own works. And you cannot mature in Christ by your own works. Both are dependent on God and His grace. Allowing Him to love you and receiving that love. And to quote my TrueFaced boys again…

The whole idea is simply maturing into what God says is already true about you.

Dreaming A Not Impossible Dream

Dave Burchett — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:12:25 GMT

Regular readers of the humble ramblings know that I have been had my world rocked by the book TrueFaced. The charming Mrs.Burchett and I just finished going through the DVD series with two wonderful couples. It has been amazing. We have been changed and challenged. A question from the final session has caused me to spend a lot of time in reflection. The question was pretty simple

When you were growing up, what dreams did you have for your future?

I tried to remember the dreams of a child growing up in Southern Ohio. My dream to be a Major League Baseball player died really quickly in Little League. It was somewhere around the time I saw my first breaking ball delivered by a pitcher that looked like he drove to the game. When my posterior was heading to 3^rd base and the ball broke over the plate I suspected I should move on to the next dream.

The next dream was to be known. I don’t think I thought of being famous at that point. I just wanted people to know who I was. I wanted to be loved by everybody and respected and admired. Looking at my junior high experience that was a dream about as probable as a pro baseball career. For the overweight geek with bad glasses and worse haircut to dream of being admired and respected seems ridiculous in retrospect. But I somehow figured out I could put on a mask and be the funny guy. I was quick on my verbal feet and witty. I decided after high school to be a radio broadcaster. I did the disc jockey thing for a few years.

But that was not God’s dream for me.

I moved to television and then sports directing. I dreamed of becoming a big time network sports director. I watched World Series and March Madness and dreamed how I could be there someday. At a couple of places along the road it seemed the break might happen to move in that direction.

But that was not God’s dream for me.

I began to follow my long desire to write. I miraculously had a book published. I dreamed of being a best-selling author.

But that has not been God’s dream for me.

I looked over the landscape of my life and reviewed what God has done. God has taken a frightened, insecure, cynical man and patiently molded me into something better than I could have dreamed. I have not become famous. I will never direct the Super Bowl or World Series. I doubt I will ever see my name on the NY Times bestseller list.

But I realize that God’s dream for me has become my dream. To paraphrase a thought from TrueFaced. I have finally come to believe who God says I am. I am no longer trying to change into another person. I finally trust that God has made me exactly who He wants me to be. The change in my life is not God changing me. That happened when I trusted Jesus as my Savior. The change in my life is trusting who God says I already am and maturing into that person.

So my dream has become much simpler. To be a good man. A good husband. A good father and (hopefully) grandfather. A good friend. An ambassador of grace that lives to tell others that you don’t have to live in frustration in your walk with Jesus. There is a better way. It is found in the room of grace. Paul wrote these words to the Church at Philippi.

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. (Philippians 1, The Message)

Paul was a bit ahead of me on the maturing curve. I have had some doubts that were far north of slight. But now I am seeing it. God started a work in me nearly forty years ago. He has never given up on me. Never lost patience. Never condemned me. Never quit loving me. So I look back over my life and see that I did not accomplish the dreams I had for me. Thank God. I like the dreams He has for me a lot more.