I am going through a spiritual dry spell. A brutal travel schedule, some difficult challenges and sad news from folks I care about has beaten me up a bit. But today I realized that I am making real progress after only four decades of following Jesus. What a quick study I am!

The realization is that in spite of my failings and lack of trust I am starting to really believe that God still loves me. Just as I am. Maybe to you that is scant progress.

As a recovering legalist I still struggle with concept that God does not withdraw His presence from me when I sin. The church of my youth seared that fear into my heart by preaching how my sins, no matter how minor, could put me “out of fellowship” with God. My congregation taught that you could reach a state of sanctification where you no longer sinned. I was not mature enough to understand that they were deceiving themselves or worse. So I was constantly living in a state of tension, fear and defeat.

A song from a group called Sidewalk Prophets is today’s iPod Devotional. The title is “You Love Me Anyway” and it deals with the one of the most amazing and difficult things to understand about God’s mercy and grace.

Only when I went off the denominational menu and studied God’s Word did I begin to see a different picture. I saw a God who loved me when I sinned. The lyric from Sidewalk Prophets sums up this incredible love.

Yes then I turned away with a smile on my face
With this sin in my heart, tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night I still call out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh God, how You love me
Yes You love me anyway

That is so hard to comprehend. That kind of love is so opposed to most if not all of our experience in earthly relationships.

It’s like nothing in life
That I’ve ever known

Yes, You love me anyway

But that is exactly the picture that Scripture paints in the story of the Prodigal Son. The son rebelled, sinned, and suffered the horrible consequences of his actions. The son realized his sin and in humble desperation decided to throw himself at the mercy of his father. Clearly the sins of the son would cause him to lose the daily privileges of being a son. But this passage tells us that nothing had changed in how the father viewed his son. The son was sure his behavior had estranged him from his father. The imagery is compelling. The father runs to him. That was undignified act of pure love and joy. The father would never have done that in common practice. His act was a gesture of love and forgiveness but also to protect his precious child from the judgment of others.

And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’

“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began. (Luke 15, NLT)

The Father placed the finest robe on his wayward son who deserved nothing after his selfish and sinful actions. In the cultural context readers would have surmised that the “finest robe” was the father’s own robe that he placed on his son. The robe that was worn on the most special of occasions. The custom would have been for the son to bathe, put on clean clothes and then put on the robe. But in a stunning gesture of compassion, the father placed his robe over the filthy garments. By giving that gift to his wayward son, the father gave him a covering of acceptance and salvation. And the father also let everyone know that the son was forgiven, accepted and no longer to be condemned by others who had judged his behavior.

The story is the same today. The Father ran to forgive you when you acknowledged your sin and need. While you were still dirty and clothed in filthy garments you were forgiven, accepted, justified and wrapped in the robe of righteousness. You were declared a saint because of Christ. And you were no longer condemned. Satan would have you forget that the robe of righteousness is wrapped lovingly around you. The author of lies would remind you that you still wear dirty clothing. He would suggest that you need to set aside the robe until you clean up yourself and your garments. That is the power of this story. The robe of righteousness is never earned. It is a gift of grace. On my worst day the Father wraps me up in this precious garment because of His Son Jesus.

How differently we would live if we remembered that truth every day. I am a saint. I am wrapped in the robe of righteousness. We are new creatures who are forgiven, accepted, and wrapped in this incomprehensible gift of grace. Even in our failure Jesus loves us anyway.

Ever so slowly I am putting my full weight on that truth.

(This is an annual revisit of one of the great stories in sports. Something to take your mind off of tax day)

April 15^th is not my favorite day of the year. Traditional tax day is never fun for a guy who is organizationally challenged. My idea of being prepared is having everything in one box. But I was heartened to find that April 15^th is a great day for baseball fans.

Jackie Robinson made his major league debut at first base for the Brooklyn Dodgers on that date in 1947. It was a historic and significant day for baseball but maybe more so for our country. You can argue that the American civil rights movement was ignited when Robinson came to bat in Dodger Blue. The journey for Robinson was difficult at best and nearly impossible at worst.

Many Dodgers players, mostly Southerners led by Dixie Walker, threatened to walk if forced to play with a black player. That ended when Dodger management let them know in no uncertain terms that they could keep walking to the unemployment line. I often write about the pain that is caused by “bad” or thoughtless Christians. Can you imagine the pain that Robinson felt to have his teammates reject him for only one reason?

But one teammate reacted in a way that I wish all serious and thoughtful Christians would emulate. Team captain Pee Wee Reese was an unlikely ally for Robinson. He was born in segregated Louisville, Kentucky, and the odds were that Reese would be a part of the boycott against a black player. But the diminutive Pee Wee Reese proved to be a giant of a man one day in Cincinnati. During infield practice the Redleg players were screaming at Jackie with all of the usual hateful epithets. And then the venom was distributed to Reese. They were yelling things at him like “How can you play with this (epithet)?”, as Jackie stood uncomfortably at first base. Pee Wee went over to him and put his arm around him and smiled. A silence fell over the Reds dugout and the fans witnessing this amazing act of grace, Jackie smiled back.

At Reese’s funeral, Joe Black, another Major League Baseball black pioneer, said: “Pee Wee helped make my boyhood dream come true to play in the Majors, the World Series. When Pee Wee reached out to Jackie, all of us in the Negro League smiled and said it was the first time that a White guy had accepted us. When I finally got up to Brooklyn, I went to Pee Wee and said, ‘Black people love you. When you touched Jackie, you touched all of us.’ With Pee Wee, it was No. 1 on his uniform and No. 1 in our hearts.”

Robinson later wrote this sentiment to Reese in a book inscription.

“Pee Wee whether you are willing to admit what you being just a great guy meant (a great deal) to my career, I want you to know how much I feel it meant. May I take this opportunity to say a great big thanks and I sincerely hope all things you want in life be yours.”

We need a lot more Pee Wee Reese’s in the body of Christ. We need men and women who are willing to step up for others when it may not be the best action for personal gain. We need men who are brave enough to look hatred and bigotry in the eye and call it by its name. April 15^th was a day that demonstrated the greatness of two men. We need men who have the courage to emulate both Jackie Robinson and Pee Wee Reese in our walk with Jesus. The Apostle Paul had some good advice to accomplish that goal.

Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived.

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. Gal 6  Msg

I want to be willing to stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. As I meditate on the gift of grace and redemption I received through the Cross I wonder how I can do anything else?

(From the iPod Devotional at theFish.com)

I think of Keith Green every Easter week because he recorded one of my favorite songs about the power of the resurrection. I have written before about the amazing life of Keith. He was one of the pioneers of contemporary Christian music. His influence was so powerful that artists like Michael W Smith, Stephen Curtis Chapman, Chris Tomlin, Rebecca St. James, Matt Redmond and many other recorded tribute cover versions of his songs after his tragic death in a 1982 private plane crash.

What I loved most about Keith Green was his passion for Christ. Like many who came to faith during the Jesus movement Green was sold out to the Gospel.

His zeal for ministry led to a charge that Christian celebrities are rarely accused of committing. Not profiting from his music. Green voided his successful contract with Sparrow Records so that he could give his albums to those who could not afford them.

Keith and wife Melody mortgaged their home to finance his album, So You Wanna Go Back To Egypt, on their own. That album featured a guest appearance by Bob Dylan. The Greens offered the album through mail-order and at concerts for whatever price the purchaser determined they could pay. By May 1982, Green had shipped out more than 200,000 units of his album and 61,000 of those went out for free.

He required that any Christian bookstores carrying his cassettes should include a second cassette free of charge for every one purchased for the buyer to give away to help spread the Gospel. Green’s ministry website describes the reaction.

Keith’s new album policy were moves that sent shock waves through the Christian music industry, causing, some record labels, bookstores, or other artists to question his motives. Some thought he wanted to undercut the system and make others look bad. But that wasn’t his heart at all and in the end it was understood he was just following his convictions.

Keith said, “I only want to build God’s Kingdom and see it increase, not my own. If someone writes a great poem no one praises the pencil they used, they praise the one who created the poem. Well, I’m just a pencil in the hands of the Lord. Don’t praise me, praise Him!”

How sad that such a sacrificial gesture would be viewed with suspicion.

Every Easter week I listen to his recording of the Easter Song.

Hear the bells ringing
They’re singing that you can be born again
Hear the bells ringing
They’re singing Christ is risen from the dead

The angel up on the tombstone
Said He has risen, just as He said
Quickly now, go tell his disciples
That Jesus Christ is no longer dead

Joy to the world, He has risen, hallelujah
He’s risen, hallelujah
He’s risen, hallelujah

He is risen indeed. Keith Green experienced the resurrection power of Christ when he died in 1982. I sometimes wonder how his music might have changed as he matured in his faith. His journey just before his death offers a clue.

After striving for years to measure up to God’s holiness, at times even questioning his own salvation, Keith came into a deeper understanding of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross — both to forgive his sins, and to clothe him in His righteousness. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest.

It wasn’t that Keith became less concerned with purity and holiness. But now he was more motivated by love and less by fear in His pursuit of Jesus. He learned so much more about God’s grace and the importance of pausing simply to behold His glory and enjoy His presence.

Right there with you brother. Keith Green left an amazing legacy in just twenty-nine years and I believe the Easter Song is one of his most powerful recordings.

Hear the bells ringing
They’re singing that you can be healed right now
Hear the bells ringing, they’re singing
Christ, He will reveal it now

The angel up on the tombstone
Said He has risen, just as He said
Quickly now, go tell his disciples
That Jesus Christ is no longer dead

Clarence Hall noted that “you can put truth in a grave, but it won’t stay there.” That was the message the angel gave to Mary Magdalene and the other Mary as they came to the tomb.

Then the angel spoke to the women. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I know you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He isn’t here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying. And now, go quickly and tell his disciples that he has risen from the dead, and he is going ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there. Remember what I have told you.” The women ran quickly from the tomb. They were very frightened but also filled with great joy, and they rushed to give the disciples the angel’s message. (Matthew 28, NLT)

As Keith Green powerfully sang many years ago…

The angel up on the tombstone
Said He has risen, just as He said
Quickly now, go tell his disciples
That Jesus Christ is no longer dead

Indeed!

Today is opening day for the American League Champion Texas Rangers. Even though the World Series didn’t end exactly like I hoped it still feels really good to be a part of such a nice run.

In my mind there is no more special day in sports than opening day in baseball. The smell of freshly cut emerald green grass delights the senses. The base lines are painstakingly and perfectly defined by a grounds crew that is committed to perfection on this day. Red, white, and blue bunting give the ball park a festive world series look. The players today act like little boys. This is the one day that these privileged athletes seem to forget they are millionaires and appear extra grateful that they are paid to play a kid’s game. Children skip school and parents do not care because memories are being made for both of them. The hot dogs taste like gourmet food. Tacky souvenirs are treasures to be kept. Giant foam fingers become family treasures. The atmosphere is magic. It is opening day and every team has hope. Each fan has dreams and they are hopefully, or perhaps hopelessly, optimistic. Last year’s disappointments are gone and the hope of a new season dawns for fifty thousand fans in the park and thousands more across the city. The mood is upbeat and the expectations high. This is a new day and a new season. Old mistakes are forgotten. Past errors are no longer important. Today is the annual renewal of the incredible marathon that is big league baseball. It is a clean slate. The team has a new identity.

I longed for such a defining moment in my walk with Jesus. And recently I have been understanding that God’s Word tells us that every day can be like opening day (Dave’s paraphrase). I do have a clean slate because of Christ. There is hope. Yesterday’s sins are forgotten if you have accepted the gift of Jesus on the cross. Every morning that I awake and see the magic of a new sunrise I can believe that I have been renewed and optimistically face the day. I don’t have to wait a year to have a chance for renewal. Paul writes that every day has the potential for the spiritual magic of renewal and victory in Christ.

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice–the kind he will accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask? Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.

As God’s messenger, I give each of you this warning: Be honest in your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, 5so it is with Christ’s body. We are all parts of his one body, and each of us has different work to do. And since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others.

God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out when you have faith that God is speaking through you. If your gift is that of serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, do a good job of teaching. If your gift is to encourage others, do it! If you have money, share it generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically.

Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful. When God’s children are in need, be the one to help them out. And get into the habit of inviting guests home for dinner or, if they need lodging, for the night.

If people persecute you because you are a Christian, don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t try to act important, but enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do your part to live in peace with everyone, as much as possible. (Romans 12, NLT)

I am grateful that in my spiritual journey God that has given me a chance for “opening day” renewal every day. I have had some bad seasons during my career as a follower of Jesus. But I am learning that everyday is a gift.

The fragile nature of our lives makes the bigger questions so much more important even as I enjoy the hope of opening day.  I realize that every day with Jesus can be like this special day in baseball. I can be transformed and new. Past losses (sins) are redeemed and forgiven. There can be freshness in the journey and joy. I can realize that I am a child of God and I can be grateful that I call Him Father. I can believe that hope for the future is real. I can understand that I must be a better teammate to others that I encounter and not expect my team to be perfect. The magic of a fresh start happens once a year in baseball. It can happen any day and every day for a follower of Jesus.

A song from a career long, long ago and far, far away cued up on the iPod today. Right out of high school I worked as a disc jockey at a small radio station in Southern Ohio. I remember being so excited to play a song from The Doobie Brothers called “Jesus Is Just Alright”. The song was also recorded by The Byrds.

Hearing The Doobie Brothers sing about Jesus was pretty amazing in my still young faith journey. I was sure they had to be believers to release a song like this. I know. I was incredibly naive. Apparently none of the group was particularly religious but the song became an anthem for the incredible Jesus Movement that swept the land. My buddy Ed Underwood has written a great book about the power of that movement called Reborn To Be Wild.

I remember one critical Christian (hard to imagine that) hearing the song and smugly declaring that Jesus was “much more than just alright”. In one fell swoop he revealed both his judgmentalism and stupidity. He was apparently unaware that the slang term “just all right” was a phrase that meant “cool” or “very good”.

Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright, oh yeah
Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright

I don’t care what they may say, I don’t care what they may do
I don’t care what they may say, Jesus is just alright, oh yeah

The theology may not challenge the great hymns but the reality is that the powerful name of Jesus was proclaimed to millions of people via radio and records who would not have heard it otherwise. Thousands and thousands more heard the name of Jesus in concerts around the world.

Paul wrote about the power given by God to the name of Jesus.

Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor
and gave him the name above all other names,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.  (Philippians 2, NLT)

Jesus is all right. He is Lord. He is merciful. He is, to paraphrase C.S. Lewis, “not safe but He is good”. Jesus is humble. Jesus is grace. Jesus is everything. That is why I was excited to be able to cue up the name of Jesus on ancient turntables and vinyl discs many years ago. The name of Jesus proclaimed to the world annoys many, angers many and changes the very lives of many.

Jesus had contact with people 132 times in the New Testament according to author J K Johnson (adapted from Why Christians Sin, Discovery House, 1992). He notes that 10 of those where in church (temple and synagogue) and 122 were out in the mainstream of life. That is where we need to be proclaiming the name of Jesus.

We forget or choose to ignore how incredibly revolutionary Jesus was during His brief time of ministry. In his book Defiant Grace author Dane Ortlund says this.

The Jesus of the Gospels defies our domesticated, play-by-the-rules morality. It was the most extravagant sinners of Jesus’ day who received his most compassionate welcome; it was the most scrupulous law-abiders who received his most searing denunciation.

Another great quote from that book.

Jesus is real, grace is defiant, life is short, risk is good. For many of us the time has come to abandon once and for all our play-it-safe, toe-dabbling Christianity and dive in. It is time, as Robert Farrar Capon put it, to get drunk on grace. Two hundred-proof, defiant grace.

So a trip down memory lane reminded me anew of the power of Jesus name and how important that we proclaim that name to all the world in grace and truth. Today’s song has one more really important thing to communicate about Jesus to a hurting world. When you come into a saving relationship with Christ you can sing these amazing lyrics.

Jesus, He’s my friend, Jesus, He’s my friend. He took me by the hand, led me far from this land.

Jesus, He’s my friend.

Watching the news on television is depressing. Election years seem to pour fuel on the culture war fires. I much prefer to spend my leisure moments reading, listening to music and walking with canine friend Hannah. Today a song on my iPod from Seventh Day Slumber caused me to ask some questions about the way the church engages our culture. The song is From the Inside Out.

My heart and my soul
I give You control
Consume me from the inside out Lord
Let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

Change happens from the inside out. I wrote about the culture war in my book “When Bad Christians Happen to Good People”. Here is an excerpt from that discussion.

If I were to ask the average Christian what victory in the culture war would look like today, I would probably get answers along these lines: Abortion would be outlawed. Homosexuality would be less visible. The Ten Commandments would hang in every courthouse, and kids would pray in school.

But would accomplishing these objectives constitute true victory? Most of us think it is our mission as Christians is to rid the world of sin. That is not going to happen until Jesus returns to reign. We have tried through politics and failed miserably. We have tried boycotts. We tried advertising and media with very mixed results. We have targeted immorality but have not helped those hurt by or entrapped in it. We fight abortion. We fear homosexuality. We denounce drugs. We battle Hollywood and television and the evil media. We criticize the music industry.  We rail against pornography.

As a young man who grew up in the ’50s and ’60s, I can confirm that all of the aforementioned cultural indicators now sought by many Christians were once in place: There was no legalized abortion or aggressive gay political agenda. We prayed at school functions and watched Ozzie and Harriet on television instead of Jersey Shore or The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yet the sexual revolution, recreational drugs, violent political protest, and explosive racial tension emerged from this very era. Hmmm.

We Christians have missed our calling. The church needs to understand that even if we devoured every single moral issue on our evangelical plates, the people of this world would still be seeking meaning and purpose in their lives. All of the cultural issues I’ve mentioned so far are merely symptoms of a bigger problem: the internal condition of millions of people. Political and legal processes can only restrain sin. Advertising campaigns or education can, at best, only restrain behavior, and that is not a viable long-term solution. Only the changing of individuals can really affect a society as a whole. And that is where we have missed the boat. We can attempt legislation of morals until the end of time. But change comes from the inside (heart) out…rarely from the outside (rules) in. We cannot herd sin neatly into our theological corral. Sin cannot be managed by moralism.

How did the early church have such a profound impact with no money, power or influence? By giving their heart and soul to God. They gave Him control and out of that surrender they gave and served selflessly. They loved the unlovable. Cared for those that no one else would care for. Risked their lives to comfort those dying of infectious disease and sacrificed their own possessions for orphans and widows. Their lives were so powerful that the culture could not help but notice. Even the pagan writers of the day marveled at the sacrifice of these “Christians”. The followers of Christ who changed the world did not drive fancy cars and have perfect hair. They sold out in complete trust and allowed God to change them from the inside out. They served sacrificially.

Jesus talked about the danger of a religion that tries to work from the outside in.

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.” (Matthew 23, NLT)

That is my prayer for today. I want to be live from the inside out. I have been changed but I want to live out of that truth. Don’t think that I am against having heartfelt convictions about cultural issues. I am not. But I am against communicating those concerns to a hurting world apart from grace and the love of Christ. God’s plan will be accomplished.

Everlasting, Your light will shine
When all else fails
Never-ending, Your glory goes
Beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out

That is the cry of my heart today.

(As a part of my new “green” blog initiative I am recycling these Groundhog day musings)

They woke up Punxsutawney Phil Tuesday morning long enough for the prognosticating rodent to let us know whether six more weeks of winter must be endured. According to Phil you should plan on bundling up for next month and a half.

Phil looks about as happy as I do when when I am disturbed in the morning. Seventeen years ago a funny and underappreciated  movie came on the scene. Groundhog Day told the story of a self-absorbed news reporter (redundancy alert?) that finds himself stuck in an endless repeat of the same day. Bill Murray is perfect in the role of reporter Phil Connors. Since I live in the odd world of broadcast television I can relate to the cynical personality of Murray’s character. Reporter Phil is less than thrilled that he has been assigned to cover Punxsutawney Phil’s annual peek outside to predict winter’s duration. He feels he is “above” such an inane assignment. Connor’s looks into the camera and cynically reports:

“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”

My day and/or night job is television sports directing. I have directed some events that offer that kind of challenge. But what got me thinking about that movie again was the plotline where Phil Connors realizes he is doomed to live the same day over and over and over. The plot is summed up in this article in Wikipedia. For Connors, Groundhog Day begins each morning at 6:00 A.M., with his waking up to the same song, Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You Babe”, on his alarm clock radio, but with his (and only his) memories of the “previous” day intact, trapped in a seemingly endless “time loop” to repeat the same day in the same small town.

Connor has this exchange in the film.

Phil: What would you do if you were stuck in one place and every day was exactly the same, and nothing that you did mattered?
Ralph: That about sums it up for me.

And that brought to mind another famous Bill Murray quote…this time from Stripes.

And then depression set in.

So what is the point of these ramblings? Is it to impress you with my cerebral movie tastes? The point is that too many followers of Jesus are stuck in a Groundhog Day life of their own. They wake up every day and feel trapped in a repeating pattern of frustrating behavior. And then, depression sets in. Why is that?

Einstein was once quoted as saying that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” I am not quite willing to concede that I was insane. But the truth is that for years I did approach my spiritual life the same way everyday while somehow expecting different results.

I would make a mistake (that is politically correct for sin) and I would convince myself that I would never do that again. I was grateful that the consequences were not worse. I was determined to stay far, far away from that sin. And then before I know it I had forgotten the lesson and I would awaken each morning to my own version of Groundhog Day. The Apostle Paul wrote about this very thing (not the giant rodent part…the repeating behavior part) in his letter to the Romans.

I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.   (Romans 7, The Message)

Wow…can I relate to that. A bit later Paul writes…I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

That is the real question. And there is a real answer offered by Paul.

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

So what can you do to get out of this sin spiral?

Nothing.

Wait! Don’t let depression set in. This is good news! You and I can’t do it. I am incapable in my own efficacy (5 Reader’s Digest points) to escape my spiritual Groundhog Day. Only Jesus can enable me to escape this endless loop of frustration. Further advice from Paul follows in Chapter 8 of his amazing letter to the Romans.

But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him.

Allow the truth of that verse to soak in.

Want to get out of your Groundhog Day existence? Most readers of these humble ramblings realize they couldn’t deal with their sin separation from God on their own. We needed Jesus. So why do we think we can deal with our ongoing sin issues on our own? When the Father looks at me on my very worst day this is what He sees.

Jesus.

That is step one. I don’t have to clean up the sin to please God. He loves me already because of Jesus. Step Two. I am learning daily to recognize that the Spirit of God has taken up residence in my life. I am learning that I am the one who limits His power by restricting access and not trusting Him with my thoughts and actions. I am learning that I don’t need to wake up to the frustrating effects of repeated self-effort. I can wake up trusting God, trusting that Jesus has my sin covered and trusting that the Spirit of God will allow me to resolve that sin. Trusting God and what His Word says to be true allows me to escape the Groundhog Day syndrome. Instead I have a new day full of possibilities to thank God for His amazing grace.

The moral of the movie Groundhog Day was that Phil Connor needed to learn that he was self-absorbed and dependent on his selfish efforts to get ahead. The moral of the spiritual groundhog day is to learn that we cannot depend on our self efforts to live a joyful and free Christian life. I come to Jesus by grace and total dependence. I live for Jesus by grace and total dependence. While the other groundhog is busy predicting weather I would suggest you try this for the next six weeks. When the alarm jars you awake remember this truth. Instead of the Sonny and Cher song you can sing “I Got You Lord”. The two of you can end this “Groundhog Day” of frustration. To paraphrase our hero Phil from above….

This is one time where a blog really fails to capture the true excitement of a large doofus trying to explain his joy and freedom of learning how to live in grace. So try it for yourself. If you begin to lean on grace perhaps you can also paraphrase the line from Stripes with this one.

And then joy and freedom set in. That is my prayer for you today. I can’t help you with the weather.

Why me Lord? I suspect that most of us have cried out to God with that question. And I would also guess that ninety-nine percent of the time we are asking God why some trial or affliction has come our way that we feel is undeserved.

The same question has been asked throughout history. “Why me Lord? Why me?”

A song by Kris Kristofferson cycled up on the iPod today and reminded me of a better perspective. I have loved Kristofferson’s song “Why Me?” since I was a young believer and, if you do the math, you realize that I am not so young a believer anymore. The truth is I am still trying to apply the wisdom of these lyrics.

Why me Lord, what have I ever done
To deserve even one
Of the pleasures I’ve known
Tell me Lord, what did I ever done
That was worth loving you
Or the kindness you’ve shown

So true. What have I done to deserve even one of His blessings? I did not deserve forgiveness. That was a gift of grace from a loving God. I did not deserve to be born in the United States into incredible comfort, religious freedom and opportunity. I did not deserve to be born healthy and semi-intelligent when others live with chronic affliction and mental illness. Those things were blessings that I received without complaining to my Creator.

The why me Lord question we so often ask should have an entirely different focus.

Why me Lord? What have I done to deserve your blessing?

It is true that some seem to suffer a disproportionate amount of affliction and difficulty. It doesn’t seem fair. The theology that faithful Christians will experience nonstop prosperity, perfect health and green lights at every intersection is a lie from the pit of Hell. Suffering is a part of the process that God uses to refine our faith and ultimately to glorify Him.

My high school basketball coach was a winner and a great teacher. I remember Coach Tom Cuppett yelling at me. A lot. It seemed I could never do anything right. We would run a play and the whistle would blow. “Burchett….what are you doing?” Then he would grab me and the other forwards and walk us through what was supposed to happen. After my senior season Coach Cuppett called me in to his office.

“I have to let you in on something. Remember how I always yelled at you and walked you through the plays?” He asked.
I responded with a smile. “Pretty hard to forget that you can’t do anything right.”
“The truth is that most of the time it was Jimmy (not real name) who messed up and not you. He couldn’t take the criticism and you could. So I yelled at you and then grabbed him and walked him through the plays with you so he would learn without losing his confidence.”
“It would have been nice to know why I was the target so often.”
“I couldn’t tell you at the time. But I trusted you to keep going. And you did. Your ability to handle adversity made him and our team better.”

The lesson never left. I trusted a good coach and accepted what I had to endure to achieve our goal of winning. Later I found out that I had gained honor is his eyes by trusting him even when things didn’t seem “fair”. How much more so can I trust a God who loved me enough to offer grace when I was completely without merit? What if that trial is given to me because God deems me able to remain steadfast and through that faithfulness He will be glorified? What if I get called into God’s office someday and find out that He gave me the gift of trials to reflect His glory and now my rewards will far exceed that temporary pain? If I can trust an earthly coach then I can certainly trust my Heavenly Father with all of me.

Kristofferson writes about what many of us regret.

Lord help me Jesus, I’ve wasted it so
Help me Jesus I know what I am
Now that I know that I’ve need you so
Help me Jesus, my soul’s in your hand

That is the amazing thing about our God of redemption and second chances. It is never too late to start trusting and living in His grace. It starts with believing your real identity. Henri Nouwen says it well.

“You can deal with an enormous amount of success as well as an enormous amount of failure without losing your identity, because your identity is that you are the beloved. Long before your father and mother, your brothers and sisters, your teachers, your church, or any people touched you in a loving as well as in a wounding way-long before you were rejected by some person or praised by somebody else-that voice has been there always. “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” That love is there before you were born and will be there after you die.”

Paul wrote this to the Church at Ephesus.

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.  (Ephesians 1, NLT)

Believing that makes it possible to ask “why me” in a very different way.

I never know which direction this weekly adventure known as the iPod Devotional will take me. The usual procedure is to grab dog friend Hannah, set the trusty iPod to shuffle and head out for a morning walk. I just walk until a song hits my heart or sense of humor. Today was both. The song that popped up is meaningful but recent context made me smile.

My pastor at Waterbrook Bible Fellowship in Wylie, Texas decided to preach a four week series from 1^st Corinthians, chapter seven. For reasons unknown Pastor Jeff Denton chose this on purpose. The text deals with sex in marriage, the sin of sex outside the marriage and the always fun topic of divorce. So when Andrew Peterson’s song “Dancing in the Minefields” cued up on the iPod today I thought of Pastor Jeff and chuckled. He has truly been dancing in cultural and relational minefields by addressing these difficult verses unflinchingly. His messages have been full of truth and grace. Both are needed in full measure to address such loaded topics. Have I mentioned he chose this series on purpose? But seriously, if the church cannot honestly and gracefully address these topics then our faith is limited in its relevance. I can assure you that Scripture does not shy away from tough topics. We are the squeamish ones that prefer Biblical texts that don’t meddle in our actual lives.

A good marriage is hard work. A great marriage is the hardest of all because it requires the equally selfless devotion of both parties. Peterson’s lyrics are powerful.

“I do” are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard
Is a good place to begin

‘Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price
For the life that we have found

Laying down your life for another does not dovetail very well with a culture that screams that we “deserve” to be fulfilled and have a “right” to personal satisfaction and happiness. The cruel irony is that fulfillment, satisfaction and happiness are ultimately found in sacrifice, serving and giving. Andrew Peterson poetically captures the difficulty of this journey.

And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re sailing in the storm
This is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise is for

One of the points that Pastor Jeff made during his most recent message continues to rattle in my heart and mind. He has counseled hundreds of couples over his years of ministry. One of his observations convicted me not only in my marriage but in all of my relationships. Jeff noted that “it is never productive to be critical of your spouse”. I think most of us would agree that is true. But it is so easy when you spend so much time together to become critical of differences and idiosyncrasies that your mate possesses. The danger is mortal. Being critical of your spouse creates an opening for Satan that he will rarely pass up a chance to roar through.

It is not just marriage that criticism destroys. I can also do incredible damage in my community of believers by being critical. This has been a struggle for me because being critical comes quite easily to this wounded sojourner.

Grace is changing me. Slowly. Emphasis on slowly. I am learning to look at others through lenses of grace. To quote my friends from the book “The Cure” I am beginning to see my community of believers not as “sinners trying to become saints by more right behavior but saints who still sometimes sin”. It is an important distinction. We are all saints who are righteous because of Christ alone. We still sin. We need grace. All of us. So when my brother sins grace compels me to run toward him and not away. Grace does not allow me to condemn and judge. He needs grace to be restored as I will need that same grace soon. Likely very soon.

Paul wrote to the Church at Corinth about hardships and the message he received from the Lord.

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12, NLT)

I have come to know some of my fellow believers well enough to see what lies behind the Sunday morning mask. I see that they are insecure, needy, selfish and unpredictable. They are just like me. Jesus told the story of a father who runs to embrace his child who has made terrible mistakes. He doesn’t wait for them to crawl back and grovel. At the first turn of repentance he sprints to them and throws a party. That is grace. That is what a critical spirit destroys. Paul wrote this in the Epistle to the Colossians about having a spirit of love based on understanding the Good News.

For we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all of God’s people, which come from your confident hope of what God has reserved for you in heaven. You have had this expectation ever since you first heard the truth of the Good News. This same Good News that came to you is going out all over the world. It is bearing fruit everywhere by changing lives, just as it changed your lives from the day you first heard and understood the truth about God’s wonderful grace. (Colossians 1, NLT)

So I will dance in minefields of relationship with my bride, my family and my community. It is a dangerous place at times. And there is no place I would rather be.

I love the cynical mind of Scott Adams expressed through his Dilbert cartoon strip. A recent New Year’s Eve panel expressed the skepticism that Dilbert had for attaching meaning to the annual calendar rollover.

“I don’t celebrate the magical thinking that says one random point in the space-time continuum is somehow special.” – Dilbert

We do place a remarkable emphasis on the New Year as a specific point in time where we can resolve to do something better or something less or something not at all. I have resolved over the years to work out more, read all the way through the Bible, lose weight, be more organized (HAH!) and assorted other failed bits.

But there is power in the hope of change and new beginnings. A song by Jason Gray reminded me of the power of starting anew. Jason is rapidly becoming one of my favorite writers/singers for Christian lyrics. The lyrics from “I Am New” blessed me on the morning walk and serve as a template for the New Year journey.

Too long have I lived in the shadow of shame
Believing that there was no way I could change
But the one who is making everything new
Doesn’t see me the way that I do
He doesn’t see me the way that I do

I haven’t just lived in the shadow of shame. I have wallowed deep in the pooled up shame of past failures, broken vows and failed efforts to be more worthy of love. Then Jason reminded me again that the work is done. I am changed. I just need to believe and live out of that truth.

I am not who I was
I’m being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy and I’m dearly loved
I am new

I am new. I can trust and live out of that truth on New Year’s Day or January 5^th or April 10^th or any other day. The point is we are new creations in Christ. The verse is familiar. Trusting it is hard.

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to him. (2 Corinthians 5, NLT)

That is true every day of the year. Yet it can be so hard to believe and Satan makes it so hard to accept. The old tapes (digital recordings?) start playing whenever the old shame triggers are pulled.

“I am not enough.”
“I am a failure.”
“I don’t deserve His mercy.”

Gray’s lyric addresses the truth of how God views me.

Now I won’t deny
The worst you could say about me
But I’m not defined by mistakes that I’ve made
Because God says of me
I am not who I was
I’m being remade
I am new

Yep. All of the ugliness is true about me. I put all of my sin and shame on the table and Jesus gently says that is not who I am anymore. Is there any more freeing and joyful message to take into the New Year?

You are correct Dilbert. There may not be any special power in the random moment on the space-time continuum when a New Year begins. But there is amazing power in the redemptive work of Christ. I begin today, tomorrow and every day of 2012 with the knowledge that I am….

Forgiven, beloved
Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the Giver of Life
Righteous and holy, reborn and remade
Accepted and worthy
This is (my) new name
This is who (I) am now…