In August of 2004, I launched this humble little football blog with no other purpose than to share my thoughts on “our modern-day gladiators” in the National Football League. The four and a half years since then have been quite an adventure, but alas, all adventures must end, and I have decided it’s time to bring this blog to a close.

It’s been an illuminating 54 months, to be sure. Three years ago, I was telling the world that soccer was evil. Now look at me. I’ve spent two years plumbing the depths of football’s origins, and I’ve come away with an appreciation for pretty much every type of football there is. My mind is free, and I can stand up and cheer for the beautiful game just as much as I can for America’s game — or Australia’s game, for that matter.

Your average football fan is not capable of this. Most people still argue over what constitutes “real football.” If you take nothing else from this blog, however, take this — there’s no one football code that can call itself “real football.” All these football games are simply the games that we have chosen to play, and ultimately, they all come from the same tradition — the idea of two teams kicking and/or running with a ball, trying to reach a goal. The fact that we can’t always agree on how we should play football simply shows how diverse we are as a species.

Because football games are humanity’s games, and they crystallize for us all the joy, all the sorrow, all the qualities and all the flaws that come with being human. They touch something deep within our psyches, and when they do, we can’t help but stand up and cheer.

Naturally, I stood up and cheered for my Steelers as they won Super Bowl XLIII on Sunday. For whatever reason, though, I haven’t really feel much like writing about the NFL lately. Perhaps that will change in the future. After all, the great thing about 21st century media is that you can create a new blog for almost no money — and I could easily see myself doing that in the future.

In the meantime, though, I’ll be contributing two articles a week to EPL Talk for at least the remainder of this Premier League season, and I will continue to make infrequent stops at World Soccer Daily along the way. Plus, you can check out stuff I find interesting — football-related and otherwise — at Permanent4.com, which currently links to my Google Reader shared items page. I’m also going to leave this blog open as an archive for at least the rest of this year, as I’ve written a lot of stuff here that I don’t want to vanish overnight.

So until we meet again out here on these here internets, this is your pal Dave signing off. Enjoy your football, everyone.

We’ll never know why a flock of pigeons decided it was a good idea to hang out on a football pitch while San Lorenzo was playing Tigre in a rare three-team playoff for the Argentine Apertura title. We’ll never know what that bird was thinking just before Gaston Aguirre’s clearance kick fatally wounded it — whatever the bird equivalent of “Oh, shit!” is, perhaps. Alas, the end result is that a pigeon is dead, and even those actresses who pose nude for PETA photo shoots aren’t there to mourn it.

Given the number of seagulls that flood the oval during AFL matches, I’m still a little surprised that I’m writing about a dead bird in Argentina instead of Australia. Maybe the seagulls are smarter than we all think.

(Spotted on Deadspin.)

“Dude, there’s no way you get that spare.”

“What’s that, tubby? You think I can’t get a 7-10 split?”

“You couldn’t get a split if you had the frickin’ banana, brah.”

“You wanna put a few bucks on that?”

“Oh, I’ll do you one better, brah. If you get that spare, I’ll wear a David Carr jersey to the Texans game on Sunday.”

“You still have that David Carr jersey?”

“No, no, even better — a David Carr Panthers jersey. I’ll buy it off eBay and everything.”

“That’s bet, tubby.”

“You got no shot, brah! No shot!”

Sunday:

(Gracias, Stephanie.)

And you know what? I’ll take that. Yes, Ravens fans are bitter because of it, but if the shoe were on the other foot, those same Ravens fans would be laughing their asses off at us today, while Seattle Seahawks fans would be crowing about karmic retribution after Super Bowl XL or something.

So I’ll just ask this question, because I’m genuinely curious — what do Cleveland Browns fans think of this ruling?

Because if I sat in the Dawg Pound and yelled my lungs out for the Browns every year, and I heard Ravens fans complaining that the refs cheated them out of a victory, I think I’d be inclined to tell those Ravens fans to fuck right off, because they stole football from our city for three whole years and won a Super Bowl with what should have been our team. That would pretty much erase any sympathy I might have for that particular franchise.

Then again, if I were a Browns fan, maybe I wouldn’t want the hated Steelers to be the benefactors in this scenario. Maybe that would outweigh my general hatred of the Ravens.

So if there are any Browns fans out there would like to chime in with their thoughts on this call, feel free. I actually find myself rooting for the Browns defense tonight, because I have a 29-point lead in my fantasy league semifinal — more proof that fantasy football makes stranger bedfellows than politics — and the only player my opponent has left is Donovan McNabb. So try to keep him from getting more than 300 yards and 3 TDs tonight, okay? I could use that extra $20.

UPDATE (3:03 PM): As for the Ravens, they took that loss pretty well.

On one hand, it would be sad to see Arena Football disappear, as it has been entertaining in the past, and if nothing else, it gave us Kurt Warner. On the other hand, how many people really paid attention to the AFL when it was in season? I didn’t even go to a Carolina Cobras game when that team was still playing at the RBC Center in Raleigh. Diehard AFL fans have to be as rare as American-born Wigan supporters.

Arena Football is a fun little sideshow, and I’m sure plenty of families enjoyed going to games and trying to catch overthrown passes. But American sports fans have too many other options, and with so many people becoming less willing to spend the cash these days, I have a feeling the 50-yard indoor war might be have just become yet another victim of this craptastic economy. It probably won’t get much in the way of a eulogy, either. It was there, and now it’s gone. Oh, well.

Of course, I didn’t think International Rules would make a comeback, either, so what do I know? 2010 is a long way off.

(H/T: Awful Announcing.)

Second, the gang at World Soccer Daily has let me start blogging on their web site. You can see the early results here. I’m certain this will all end in tears one day, but for now, it’s something to do until I figure out exactly where my blogging future lies…

If this had been, say, Steve Slaton of the Houston Texans and not Joey Walton of Lewiston High School in Idaho, this play would have been challenged by the opposing coach in a heartbeat, and we would have seen about 5 different angles on this cartwheel in slow-motion instant replay, and maybe one of them would have revealed if his elbow had touched grass, thus rendering the play dead at that spot and nullifying one of the niftiest touchdown runs ever.

Thankfully, though, it’s just high school football, and we can celebrate this kid’s kung fu on YouTube. Sick run, Joey. Bravo.

(Spotted on FanHouse.)

Keeping Fernando Torres from scoring goals isn’t easy, but Gerrard the dog seems up to the task. Word in the British tabloids is that Steve Bruce will attempt to sign the dog in January to replace Titus Bramble.

Speaking of which, don’t you love the British press? One Arsenal win at Stamford Bridge, and just like that, Chelsea’s in crisis and the Gooners are title contenders. I’m so glad we don’t have these sorts of overreactions in Americ… oh, wait…

(Video spotted on Unprofessional Foul.)

Someone at The Guardian clearly enjoys turning headline writing into an exercise in short slash fiction. Bravo, sirs.

Tirico Suave has turned Plaxico Burress shooting himself in a night club into a holiday classic. Seriously, folks, this is genius.

Make with the clicky. Now.

One competitive NFL game on Thanksgiving. Just one. Please. That’s all I ask, because I didn’t need all that Turkey to put me to sleep yesterday. The only football worth watching yesterday was the Portsmouth v. AC Milan UEFA Cup match, and that wasn’t even on TV.

Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot.

You know what’s funny about this video featuring Kaká displaying his sublime skills? It looks like it should be an ad for something, yet I don’t see a logo on there anywhere. It’s kind of the opposite of this video, which seems far more staged and, in a way, far less likely.

(Spotted on 101 Great Goals.)

Here’s the video of Neil Rackers’ fair catch free kick last Sunday. You can tell by the look on the face of Arizona Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt that he’s a little too self-satisfied with being a rulebook anorak.

I tell you what, though. I’d love to see Rhys Lloyd try this once…

Next week, a game between the San Diego Chargers and the Oakland Raiders will be broadcast live in 3-D to theaters in Los Angeles, New York and Boston. It is a preliminary step on what is likely a long road to any regular 3-D broadcasts of football games.

The idea is a “proof of concept,” says Howard Katz, NFL senior vice president of broadcasting and media operations. “We want to demonstrate this and let people get excited about it and see what the future holds.”

The company behind this production is 3ality Digital LLC, whose most well-known production to date is probably U2 3D. I saw U2 3D at the local IMAX theater. It made me say “Holy shit!” at least twice, and not in a bad way. Tying in football with that sort of video tech just drips next-level awesomeness — though in this case, there will be a charge for awesomeness.

It would have to involve IMAX, though, because regular movie theaters are generally too closed-shop to consider something as cool as live event broadcasts. Sure, the occasional mom & pop theater will show a game. (I went to such a place three years ago, but back then, they were blowing up a standard-def signal onto a 30-foot screen, which left me cold.) Still, I dig the concept of going to a local dodecaplex to see a football game, and if there were, say, a satellite network for movie houses that broadcast live events at quad-HD resolutions — that’s 3840 by 2160, kids — I’m pretty sure people would show up for it.

Clearly, though, quad-HD is not enough for the National Football League. No. They want you to experience what it’s like when the ball is zooming out of Drew Brees’ hand and headed in a perfect arc right for your lap. If it means more IMAX theaters in my general vicinity, I’ll take it. Hell, if I had the cash, I’d build one myself. People are always looking for escapism in tough times — movie houses were packed during the depression for a reason — and there’s no better escape in America than dodging Joe Flacco’s mouth guard as it flies out of his mouth and toward your head following a James Harrison sack.

Of course, this could be just as awesome for other football codes as well. Imagine getting a 3D view from the behind goal as a Cristiano Ronaldo flies past the keeper, or a view from behind the posts as Buddy Franklin blasts one through. Granted, the AFL can’t afford it right now, but the big soccer organizations? Why not? If this works for the NFL, why couldn’t we see a live IMAX 3D FIFA World Cup in the not-too-distant future?

The Calgary Stampeders won the Grey Cup yesterday. That’s about all I can tell you about that, as I was too depressed to watch any more football after seeing the Carolina Panthers stink up the join in Atlanta. (Moron that later.)

The Columbus Crew beat the New York Red Bulls, 3-1, to win the double. Click here for video highlights. The Red Bulls still have as many MLS Cups as the Carolina Railhawks. Ha ha.

The Arizona Cardinals attempted a free kick field goal yesterday. Apparently, Donovan McNabb’s lack of awareness about tie games in the NFL made everyone rule book anoraks last week.

British police seem to have it in for Stoke City fans. Perhaps they’re scared that everyone from Stoke can throw projectiles with the scary accuracy of Rory Delap.

Cesc Fabregas is the new captain of Arsenal. They’re saved!

NCAA Division II power West Texas A&M scored more points than Oklahoma on Saturday — and lost by 25. Yikes and away!

I know. It’s a shock to us all, really.

So with the Seattle Sounders moving to MLS and the Atlanta Silverbacks suspending operations, the Cleveland City Stars and the Austin Aztex will keep USL-1 at 11 teams for the 2009 season.

Reports were emerging about this yesterday, but for whatever reason, someone got the initial report pulled off the web. That seems silly. If USL really wants to compete with MLS, why would the league try to stop news from circulating among its fan base? Are bigger announcements due to emerge from these USL meetings?

Next, Scotland v. Fiji turns into a boxing match at the Rugby League World Cup:

The difference? For one, the soccer fight dragged on for a little while, and all sorts of side skirmishes broke out, whereas the rugby fight, while clearly fiercer, ended quckly, and nobody came off the bench.

For another, the rugby referee was clearly respected and feared. Show me one soccer ref on this planet — or one NFL ref, for that matter — that gets that much respect from the players. It’s as if the rugby refs are all scanners, and if you disobey them, they will make your head ’splode. Which would be pretty awesome, come to think of it…