Ramblings of a Madman

Watching your mom die

reeljerc — Thu, 17 May 2012 01:18:16 +0000

Slowly the secretions are filling her mouth as her pulse slightly fades

A tear trickles jaggedly down septuagenarian face crevices.

First a drop, then a drop, then the faintest stream.

Breath inconsistently consistent for days

Position, disposition, unchanged 31 hours

Sub-Acute Stroke, a tiny smudge on an MRI, destroyed my mom

Unable to conjugate CO₂, brain under attack

Thinking, thinking, no thinking, no, don’t know

No food, no water, no meds, no movement, 72 hours

Breathing, just breath

And a heart that won’t stop beating.

Unstoppable heart.

beeps, buzzing, motorized transports, chatter, laughing, rubber souled shoes on shiny vinyl tile

A needle

Pain management, comfort care pathway

A doctor shrugging shoulders

Her smile and knowing look relegated to memory

And memories…flood

Her energy and brilliance, dimmed…but only in the physical sense, because her star continues to shine in the thousands of souls she has touched, and improved (BTW)

The sun sets, a soul rises, music is playing somewhere, and it’s better because she was here.

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You and You Don’t Know (Neither Do I) – 001

reeljerc — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 06:59:21 +0000

one draft will not suffice

1st draft

immediate attraction.

immediate engagement.

first night passionate kisses

first night embrace

first night naked

first night all night

We established names at dawn, bumping phones.

Our engagement continued

beautiful, intelligent, wily, impish, wise, independent, strong

my interpretation of you

bars, theater, sunset, music, caresses, kisses, blue men

u r not ready for me yet.

career path woman identified a bump in the prosperity road and dispelled.

BUT

your natural trajectory of kissing aims at my lips

half way to destination your mind kicks in and diverts to cheek

i see it every time

thank u

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Blood.

reeljerc — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 03:19:04 +0000

Infected blood.

You don’t understand how much I love you,

How could you,

You don’t understand what’s going on around you,

Probably on a subconscious level…maybe….probably

Like to believe that anyway.

Saw anger and hurt in your eyes today.

Floored me.

Stopped me.

Angered me. (ask me why)

If you were able to look into my heart,

Without your current lens prescription,

That would be nice.

Just want to spend time with you.

Without filters

Without influence

Just us

Being us

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You’re Gonna Break My Heart

reeljerc — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 22:25:47 +0000

Click here to view the embedded video.

I’ve got a feeling you’re gonna break my heart
But that’s okay girl, because I love this part
Today I hold you, until the sun comes up
Today I kiss you…..

The day is coming, you’re gonna let me go
Won’t verbalize it, but honey I will know
Today I hold you, until the sun comes up
Today I kiss you….

Wrote, recorded and shot video of this song in one day (made minor video editing adjustments another day).

Sometimes inspiration takes days, weeks or months to cultivate. Sometimes it hits you all in one day.

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My Mom And Lady GaGa

reeljerc — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 03:01:15 +0000

Didn’t See Any Musically Redeeming Qualities…

So many acts come out with financial backing that have little or no talent, products of some producer’s wet dream. Or maybe an extortion of some kind, affairs, drugs, idiocy..anyway.

The first item I took exception to with Lady Ga-Ga was the name, which kind of goes against my nature, because outlandish names can be fun, but it just seemed so obvious.

Secondly, the overt Madonna and Bowie borrowings bothered me. Controversy for the sake of controversy has so little merit. If there is meaning behind the expression beyond just getting attention, or if your personality demands you react or respond a certain way which is representative of your personality and beliefs, than so be it.

But if the effort is merely to make you look rad, than it means nothing and will be forgotten.

I basically dismissed Lady Ga-Ga on a first impression basis. My own subjective, prejudicial first impression. I try not to always be that lame, but it happens.

So Larry, my hair guy, who was a high school football teammate of mine, said he liked Lady Ga-Ga. Larry and I had spent one intense summer building ourselves up for our sophomore football season. We both had intense family issues we were dealing with and ended up developing our own weight-training program (we called them super-sets) and on the days we weren’t lifting, we were running. We worked out every day.

In typical “me” fashion, I mentally dismissed his Lady Ga-Ga leanings (although I respect anything he has to say, as a rule).

At this point, it’s important to note that the “meat dress” got my attention. In truth, I loved it. But equally important, I still hadn’t accepted her as an authentic musical artist. I didn’t think I’d heard anything to convince me of any real talent.

So tonight (092511), I’m nonchalantly doing next to nothing, and my mom, who toured with Benny Goodman, on a tour that included Peggy Lee, Ella Fitzgerald, Andre Previn, Lionel Hampton, Scotty LaFaro, the Hi-Lo’s and other Jazz greats says:

Lady Ga-Ga is a good singer…

Huh??

I pointedly ask, “You like her?”

Keep in mind that in our family, you don’t have to personally like someone’s style of music to respect them as a musician. But If my mom says someone’s good…then they’re good. period.

Age can jade us at times. As we “mature” we have a tendency to get “set in our ways”. Try not to get caught up in it, because it will surely limit you. My 72 year-old, kick-your-ass singer mom likes Lady Ga-Ga, and today, so do I.

Meat Dress, Damn, wish I would’ve thought’ve that….

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Rainy Days

reeljerc — Sat, 17 Sep 2011 14:40:29 +0000

I always think of you on gloomy saturday mornings,
rainy days in bed we didn’t share.

I wonder how you are today?
Do I ever cross your mind?

Promises were made in haste,
atop fictitious clouds,
dreamt aloud then quickly dissipate.

just another dreary day,
the air is damp the light is gray,
A wish decayed or is it just delayed?

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911

reeljerc — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 05:55:37 +0000

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Major Rager

reeljerc — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 03:15:59 +0000

“Major Rager” Webster’s dictionary doesn’t have a definition for “Major Rager”. Superfluous.

Throw-away line. You should never use the first thing you think of, unless of course it’s really good.

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truth

reeljerc — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 05:05:59 +0000

Blessed with 3 beautiful, healthy, intelligent children. wrote that line and couldn’t think of anything more important. period.

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Presidential Perspective

reeljerc — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 03:52:08 +0000

There is so much more going on than just the issues. There are issues with the issues. There is an undercurrent of non-public issues flowing through the veins of every American in regard to our president, Barack Hussein Obama. Whether you admit to it or not, a Black president named Barack Hussein Obama, made it to office….Fricking amazing. Just the fact that a Black man named Barack Hussein Obama was elected to the presidency should make all Americans proud, unless you’re a white supremiscist. Obviously that doesn’t work for you, but you’re so stupid, who cares? You’re so stupid, it never occured to you that a Black Man could ever be considered for the presidency of the United States of America. And after it happened, it was too late. Stupid f***.

Common Sense takes a giant leap into the abyss.

Whether you want to admit it or not, it changed the racial landscape in the United States of America, if for no other reason than it empowered a segment of a segment. It built a bridge of hope and validated confidence in all of us, period. The monumental event of an African-American person being elected to the highest office in the United States of America, the most powerful country on earth, resonated with the entire world and opened minds (except those cemented shut by hate and ignorance). And what did we learn? That no matter what , there are still nimrods and closed minded curmudgeons determined to realize their own self fulfilling prophecy of self-destruction, and drag as many down with them as they can. I don’t know why people mentally or ideologically shutdown and snuff out any glimmer of a new thought or idea, but it irritates the hell out of me. But they’re insignificant anyway right? They’re not here to help, so let’s move on

Political Ideology

Politicians don’t care if you’re black, white, brown, red, yellow or plaid. They only care about how well you’re doing in the polls. From a racial perspective, that’s actually refreshing. Societally, it’s diasterous. Career politicians, as a category, have a conflict of interest. As a career politician, your first allegiance is job security, which means you make decisions that benefit you before your constituency. That’s a problem. Time to start taking steps to eliminate “Career Politicians”.

Real Deal

Everybody’s truth is different. Truth is not facts. I’m looking at it from this perspective; President Barack Hussein Obama is 14 days older than I am. If we went to school together, I’d have played ball with him. We both grew up in the USA and were influenced by many of the same things. Chronologically and emotionally we experienced many of the same things around the same time. Lot of the same shit was going on when shit was going on with us. There’s a common bond there. To deny that is short sighted and ignorant. Here’s what I’m asking you to do; put aside your prejudice, pressumption and party affiliation. Own that you’re approximately the same age and grew up in the same time as the man who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, who runs your country and seriously contemplate what you would do in his place. If that doesn’t scare the shit out of you, you’re not being honest, are you? You can click off this page, but you can’t click off your conscience ( and if you can, please unfriend me on facebook).

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