The WriteRunner

Scene Structure Part II: Theme

2010-02-08T09:25:00.001-08:00

Part of an ongoing series on Scene Structure.

Theme

Your book has a Theme*. It’s the whole reason you wrote the book, the point you’re trying to make. Here are some examples of themes:

Power Corrupts
Grieving is a Process
Love Conquers All
The Pen is Mightier than the Sword
Fight for What’s Right
Illness can be Overcome
Children are a Blessing

Every single scene in your book should contain a microcosm or a slice of the overall theme. Let’s take “Grief” for example. We’ve all heard of the Five Stages of Grief. We can assume that your character is travelling through these stages. So how does each scene encompass this theme? Well, your character is either in denial, angry, bargaining, depressed, or accepting. You may have some scenes in the beginning of the book where the character is not grieving, but even on those cases, there should be some Foreshadowing of the main theme. Why is your character uniquely set up to grieve in a way that readers will connect with? Grief comes from loss, so clearly illustrate what the character is about to lose.

Another way to think about Theme is to compare it to Blogging. You follow different bloggers for different reasons. You may follow this blog for writing tips. If today I decided to post a long analysis of yesterday’s Superbowl, comparing the Saints’ aggressive tactics with some of the greatest performances in Superbowl history, many of you would yawn and move to the next blog, and maybe a couple would be interested. This is what happens when you go off theme—you lose the reader. If you give the grieving character a love interest and start exploring themes of step-families and child-rearing, unless this love interest directly relates to the grieving process, you will confuse the reader. Sure, some would relate, and might find it interesting, but generally it’s just a distraction that will detract from the overall story. If you go off-theme, make sure you have a good reason that will make sense to the reader in the end.

Theme Goals

Every Scene explores part of the Main Theme. If your character adopts a puppy, their grief should color the entire transaction, from choice of dog to how they treat the pup.
Even the Secondary Themes must relate to the Main Theme. Maybe there’s a right and wrong way to grieve. Some of the subplots can explore how certain people get stuck in certain stages. They still must be related.
Each character explores a different aspect of the same theme. They play the different roles needed for your main character move forwards. Some might have dealt with grief before. How do they help? Some might never have experienced this level of loss. How does their lack of empathy hurt the main character?

Non-Goals

At no time should you tell, clue, or otherwise inform the reader what the Theme of your novel is. This is for the reader to decide. You might have thought your Theme was “Grieving is a long, hard process,” but your reader might think, “the love of your friends and family help you through hard times” and never even think about the Stages of Grief. I read a YA book recently where the author put a blurb in front of each chapter explaining what the theme of each chapter was. I usually disagreed with her and found the blurbs annoying. Do not hammer your reader over the head with the theme.
On the other hand, don’t hide the theme too deeply. Remember, you are trying to illustrate a point or teach a lesson about life through your characters, so when you draw your conclusion at the end, the reader should understand completely, even if they weren’t sure before. If you go on and on about dealing with grief and then your character succeeds by learning that Power Corrupts and he should give away his riches, you’ve lost the reader. Why go through the grieving process if your character doesn’t learn something from it, and then a magic fairy gives him an elixir that makes him feel all better?

Do you know what the themes are in your writing? Have you checked to make sure you move them forward in every scene?

*Image is apparently the cover art for some edition of Moby Dick. What’s the theme of that book, and how does Melville show that in every scene?

World Building: The Steam Palace

2010-02-05T13:03:00.001-08:00

World Building: The Steam Palace

Part of my revision course involves documenting my world as it exists in my draft. Since I’m a visual person, I decided to draw up a few things on my whiteboard so that I have a visual record of my world. I took a picture of the Steam Palace drawing and created The Official Steam Palace Poster. I think you can tell which part I drew on the whiteboard. If I only had a real artist’s rendition…

Official Steam Palace Poster

A Real Mechohorse!

2010-02-02T16:34:00.001-08:00

A Real Mechohorse!

My Steampunk Adventure/Romance WIP Steam Palace is filled with these kinds of mechanical contraptions, and here is one in real life!

OMG, this is my third blog today. I think I’m going to break something.

Anyways, while over at ann foxlee’s blog, I found this “Racehopper” fashioned by Brian Addison Elliot:

Yes, it’s little and tiny, and I don’t know if it even can move, but think of them scaled up by 5x, with mounted machine guns, and you’ll get the picture. Now all we need is a steam engine and some gears!

Another Excerpt of Steam Palace Online

2010-02-02T16:13:00.001-08:00

Another Excerpt of Steam Palace Online

For those of you who can’t get enough of the wacky Steam Palace, my Steampunk Romance/Adventure set in an alternate-history New England, Victoria Mixon has graciously conducted a “Edit your Climax” for my WIP.

Check it out! I hope I didn’t give away too much…

http://victoriamixon.com/2010/02/02/free-edit-1-iapetus999/

Fight Scene Blogfest Entry

2010-02-02T09:27:00.001-08:00

Fight Scene Blogfest Entry

Okay the blogfest was technically yesterday but I just found out about it. This is a rough first-draft sequence from Steam Palace. See the other blogfest entries.

Dirt and mud exploded around them as shells burst around them. “What do they want from us,” she screamed. She zigzagged, hoping to foul their range, but if the two columns of mechohorses on either side converged, they would be caught in a deadly crossfire of bullets. Already, a number of pellets impacted the mechohorse, but it proved resistant to their force, although Prudencia fretted about her charges hanging loose on the back with no protection. She dared not look back lest she tumble the horse with one misstep. Thomas kept steady pressure on her shoulder, assuring her that he still lived.

The trees failed to draw much closer, but the Reichlanders did. Now the air fairly filled with their deadly gunfire. Prudencia knew they had but seconds to live, when a shadow crossed the field.

To their right, a mechohorse exploded, its flywheels disintegrating into high powered shrapnel. A bomb landed near another group, rolling them over on their backs and crushing their occupants.

“It’s an airwarship, and I don’t think it’s ours,” cried Thomas. The mechohorses to their left opened fire on the ship, a giant whale of a vessel, but it unleashed a withering fire, sitting beyond the range of the ground gunners. Another airship approached from their rear, dangling ropes with loops on their ends. “Pru, they intend to hoist us up. We may have only one pass. Keep the horse straight and level, and they will come from behind. When the ropes pass us, you need to follow them, and Lily and I will put them on. Ready?”

Prudencia aimed for the woods, knowing that if this failed, they would have some shelter in there. Ropes appeared out of nowhere before her and to her left, and she headed for them. They floated overhead while the mothership laid down a withering fire on all the horses, causing them to pause and regroup. The forest drew near, and the ropes floated above them, out of reach. “They will try again!”

Prudencia maintained her heading, pulling back a notch as the pursuers were otherwise occupied. The ropes appeared once more, and this time Thomas reached up and secured two of them, a third floating out behind them. He helped Lily into hers, then put his on. “Keep up the pace! When I pat you, stand up and raise your hands. I will grasp you under the arms, and hold on tight! Ready?”

Prudencia tensed. A hand slapped her shoulder. She released the controls, and stood up, the trees just ahead of them. Strong arms encircled her, then she felt herself rise out of the horse. “Be strong, my love, we should be aboard in seconds. Don’t tell them anything.” came a voice behind her. The trees approach as the mechohorse continued beneath them. The arms tugged her, and she rose precipitously, just missing the uppermost branches. The mechohorse slammed into a tree, its front left leg detaching and the middle left bending unnaturally. Another mechohorse dead.

Scene Structure Part I: Setting

2010-02-01T11:07:00.001-08:00

After my series on Story Structure, I’ve decided to begin a series on Scene Structure.

Setting

Every scene needs a Setting. Everything happens somewhere, where it’s on the plains of the Serengeti, the inner contours of the human brain, a derelict spacecraft, or a 2-dimensional Flatland, your Setting is a crucial piece of your story.

Some people have described Setting as the Third Main Character (after Protagonist and Antagonist). It’s a great way to create Conflict: create a setting that actively helps or hinders your Protagonist. A setting is filled with wondrous objects and activities. Divide the setting into these general categories.

Background – The walls, the static objects, things you can’t really interact with. Use all 5 senses to describe. What can the characters see? Smell? Hear? Touch?
Items – Things that can be interacted with. Doors or thresholds, weapons, cell phones, steering wheels, keys, the gun that wasn’t there five minutes ago. These can be props or doohickeys or thingamajigs, all with certain rules governing their usage.
Activities – What is going on? Are there people chatting? Spaceships approaching? Dragons circling? Kids playing innocently? Signs flashing dire warnings? An angry crowd forming? A volcano erupting?
Potential Obstacles – What in the setting could be potential pitfalls? The cop sitting by the window. The growling dog. A watering system about to turn on. Laser beams crisscrossing the room.

The more lifelike you make your Setting, the more your Characters can interact with it. Think about where you’re sitting right now as you read this. I’m in a coffee shop. Nothing much going on, but let’s make this coffee shop come alive as a Character.

Background – Coffee products, menus, customers, newspapers, baristas, cloudy sky, coffee smell, soft music, bathroom, trash can, tables & chairs, lighting, wi-fi, TV, territorial view of gas station/strip mall, lighting. I can describe each of these in detail, but unless this coffee shop is in every scene, I should only describe a couple.
Items – Laptops, newspapers, coffee cups, cell phones, doors, wallets, snacks, coffee condiments
Activities – Man bringing in supplies, baristas cooking, cars passing by, kids playing, people coming and going, conversations, news on the TV
Potential Obstacles – Hot coffee, spilled coffee, loud conversations, hostile customers, annoying kids, high prices, empty wallet, bitchy baristas, no tables, piles of trash or dirty tables, “out of” your order, order made wrong, fire alarm, occupied or broken bathroom, bad music, bad news on the TV, policemen entering for drinks, random people entering with issues, cars plowing through the window, lights failing, espresso machine exploding, loud machinery, overpowering stenches, furniture breaking, robbery of store, customer fist fight, ringing cell phones, crying babies. You can see how an innocent coffee shop is filled with peril.

So how do we turn this coffee shop into a living, breathing character? First of all, you must start with your character’s Goal. Why is he here? Why a coffee shop? Why not a barber shop or a grocery store? Is he here with a date? Is he flirting with the help? Is he working on an important assignment? Is he worthless without coffee? Trying to relax after a hard day? A quick pick-me-up? A clandestine yet public meeting? Applying for a job here? Delivering supplies?

Once you know the character’s Goal, figure out what he notices about the coffee shop. If he’s in a hurry, it’s the slow service. If he has a headache, it’s the loud conversations. If he’s eyeing the barista, it’s her charm coupled with her disinterest. If he’s on his way to an interview, of course he’s going to spill the coffee on himself. Make the Setting Matter. If he’s struggling with commitment, fill it with either blissfully happy or hatefully arguing couples. Think of yourself as a god. It’s your job to create a setting that guides your characters in a certain direction, like there’s an “Unseen Hand” moving your character along. If your character is in a bad mood, the cheerful flowers mock him, they don’t soothe him. If he’s in a great mood, then the coffee is outstanding, and everyone in the room hushes in his presence.

Setting Goals

Reflect the character’s mood. It’s a dark place if he’s in a dark mode. It’s a flowery, glittery place if he’s feeling romantic.
Be there for a reason. Private Eyes don’t set up meetings in schoolyards unless somehow the children are involved. They go to back alleys or somewhere obscure.
Interact in an appropriate way. Coffee shops don’t have copy machines and book printers. That’s an office store.
Include only the items that matter to the story. Don’t tell me that the coffee shop has brochures and urns of creamer, unless the brochures tell me something important or the urns contain spoiled milk. Maybe the kids are loud, but if your character is a parent of five, the kids probably don’t bother him like they would a bachelor with little experience.
Use all five senses. Smells are especially evocative for readers. It’s our oldest and most powerful sense. Every scene smells like something. If I tell you “the coffee shop exploded with the aroma of bittersweet java mixed with vanilla and chocolate overtones,” that’s far more powerful than saying “they offered espresso, mocha, and flavored drinks.”
Focus. In Deep POV or First Person POV, focus on what the POV character experiences, and nothing more. But even in wider POV’s, it’s good to limit the description to what impresses the characters.
Detail. The more important a setting, the more it should be described. Conversely, if your Character is only “passing through” on his way to another setting, don’t bother with much if any description.

Non Goals

Don’t include every detail in nauseating exposition. Stick to a couple important points. Find the most efficient (fewest words) way to convey the scene. Endless descriptions bore the reader, and leave him struggling to figure out what’s important.
Don’t highlight (or even mention) items that don’t matter. Don’t describe a fabulous mug for sale unless he buys it, breaks it, or throws it at someone.
Don’t avoid setting altogether. Give the reader something to hold onto. “We were sitting there drinking coffee…” does not imply anything about setting. Where is “there”?
Don’t make the setting completely static. Unless you’re in a sensory deprivation tank, there’s always something happening. Doesn’t mean describe everything, but what are the things that impact the characters?

How has Setting affected your story? How can you use the Setting for a greater impact?

The Clog – Friday Flash Fiction

2010-01-29T09:29:00.001-08:00

The Clog

After the dismantling of her husband Henry, Jude managed the best she could. For the last three months, everything fell on her shoulders, from holding a job, raising the kids, household chores, and dealing with the depression that hung on her like a sack of rocks. Each day proved a burden, every moment a lifetime. And this drain, this stupid drain, nothing she did could remove the stubborn clog. Plumber’s aids, chemicals, nothing. If only Henry was still here. He would know just what to do.

How did they do it? How did those androids steal her husband? It’s not like she had no clues. He had stopped eating, stopped sleeping. He spent all his spare time in his workshop, crafting incredible items that she knew he had neither the skills nor tools to create. She suspected, she worried, but how could she have known for sure? Everyone goes through “rocky periods” in their marriage. She thought he just needed space. If she just let him be, he’d come back to her. She never thought he was already gone.

The Stockade. It never lied. You were either human or android. It was the final arbiter of the truth. And it was the executioner.

Where did they come from? Why did they steal people and replace them with identical facsimiles? The clues to their discovery lay in their behavior. Subtle clues. Androids aren’t capable of real love, of real human emotion. They have mechanical brains without any souls. They’re like parasites that feed off of the living, trying to steal lives and families for their own evil purposes. You can tell. They don’t really care, they’re just programmed to care. Everyone said so.

The murky water stared at her from the sink, mocking her. She thought about the moment she found out for sure that Henry had been taken. This android replica, the one she had lived with for who knows how long, had woken her in the middle of the night.

“Jude,” it had said. “I know I’ve been acting strange lately. There’s something I need to tell you.”

Jude’s heart raced, fearing the worst. An affair? A gambling problem? What?

“I need you to listen to me carefully. We’ve been lied to all our lives. We’ve been told that we’re human, that we are regular biological organisms. You have no idea what we’re capable of. Look at this.” Various tools sprouted from his fingers.

Jude’s heart stopped for a moment. If only it had been an affair... “Put those away!” The evidence was undeniable.

Jude had been schooled against this. It starts with the lies. She knew the next line before he even spoke it. All the androids used this script. It was how they gained your trust. They next thing you know, they’ve captured you and replaced you with an android clone.

“You see, Jude, we’re all androids. You, me, the kids—”

“No, not the kids!” Jude had run to the children’s room. There they slept, the soft purring of their neck fans indicating deep slumber. She rubbed their soft head filaments. Perfectly normal human children. She pushed the android out of the children’s rooms. “You bastard. What have you done with Henry?”

His eyescopes pleaded with her. “I am Henry. Please. Nothing has changed. I’ve discovered the truth. They just don’t want to use our special hidden abilities. They want us to think we’re human, but we’re not. Humans haven’t existed for thousands of years. Underneath these membranes, we’re just machines. We’ve been taught to pretend we’re human, to live and act like humans, to even believe we look like humans, but it’s all lies.”

Jude covered her ear mics. Yes, it was all lies. His statements were ridiculous. Androids can’t have children. Androids can’t love. “Stop! I can’t listen to this. Please, if you really think you’re Henry, then you’ll understand. Just leave. If you truly believe that you love us, then you have to go.”

The Henry-clone just stood there, a pitiful look on his facial membrane. His antenna drooped towards the ground. Jude pointed to the door. She would not be taken in by its android fakery.

Jude’s fans ran hot after he left, her brain racing a light-year a minute. How could have she been so stupid? How could she let this happen? Did Henry at least put up a fight when they took him? The Henry she knew would never do this to her.

The authorities caught him in minutes. A day later, he was placed in the Stockade. Before the machine ripped him limb from limb, exposing his metallic innards, proving once and for all that he was a mechanical machine, he spoke words of love. She closed her ear mics to his squeals. After all, he was just an android, a subhuman machine. Not a person of flesh and blood like herself. Even as he screamed, she told herself that androids can’t feel. They’re not alive. She was glad he was gone. She told herself this a hundred times a day.

She pushed the memories from her head. Since then, she was vigilant against the androids. Don’t stand out, don’t act in any way suspicious, otherwise the androids would take you. Be as human as possible. Everyone knew that. Don’t be anything more than you appear to be. That was her mantra.

The clog would not budge. She couldn’t afford a plumber, she barely could afford the house as it was. She had one last thought. Though loathe to do so, she placed her fingers in the drain, trying to reach the clog.

“Come on,” she spoke to herself, “reach, reach.” Her mind focused on her fingers, almost willing them to stretch. Finally, she felt the clog, and with a mighty pull, yanked the filthy mess out.

The dripping mass of gunk hung at the end of metallic claws that had erupted from the tips of her fingers. Unmistakably android claws. She screamed.

NOTES

984 words

This piece is an experiment. I’m working on a short (10K) story called “Android” set in a world where androids have decided to become human, and suppress everything android about themselves. Disobedience is death. My story is first person from Henry’s POV from the time he sees a dismantling to his own. While looking at a revision, I thought about the ending, and thought it would be a good twist to see Jude’s reaction when she learns the hard truth herself. So as an experiment, I wrote a Flash Fiction from Jude’s POV, third person, just to see how this works.

I do have some questions about this piece. First of all, I’m not sure that I handle the Past Perfect tense well when I talk about the events in the past. Does everything have to be “had ____” or is it enough as it is? Second, I’m not sure about the ending. Do you feel like she was totally surprised, or did she know all along? I’m thinking that the “she screamed” last line should be cut, but I wanted to show that this outcome was not expected when she reached into the drain.

I’m trying to decide what to do with the original story. I’m considering either changing it to First Person Present POV to make it more immediate, or maybe third omniscient past, so I can include Jude’s POV into it. Then I could incorporate this final scene into it, the final ironic twist. During the story, Jude has a couple of opportunities to give Henry a reprieve from his execution, but she rebuffs him, seeing his metamorphosis into full android as a kind of betrayal.

Oh, and thanks everyone for 100+ followers! I really appreciate it! I should have some kind of party or giveaway. I hope everyone enjoys what I post here, I’ll try to keep the content coming!

What Is Steampunk?

2010-01-25T11:23:00.001-08:00

What Is Steampunk?

After attending a couple Steampunk events and reading a couple of posts on blogs I follow*, I decided to write up my own impression of “What is Steampunk.” There are two basic classifications of Steampunk. The first is a modern 21st Century social movement, the second is an ongoing literary moment.

The Social Movement

The Steampunk Movement is a social movement characterized by the the return of 19th Century fashion coupled with pre-modern imaginative technology. I would call it “Post-Retro Fashion.” Here are the major themes of Steampunk Fashion:

Victorian Era garb. Corsets and waistcoats, top hats and mini-top hats, bustles and brocades. In Victorian days, “off the rack” meant you received a reprieve from torture. Everything was custom-tailored. Buying a “Steampunk” outfit from The GAP goes against everything Steampunk stands for. Fashioning a Steampunk outfit from Value Village ups your Steampunk cred immensely.
Goggles. Preferably crafted in brass, these are the sign of a active lifestyle and that steam workshops require eye protection.
Gears and Clocks. This is a rejection of modern industrial manufacturing, and hearkens back to a time when everything was hand-crafted. No digital watches, solid-state drives, wireless communication, or web sites. Although, of course, the modern Steampunk social movement is highly driven by the internet, but since it’s a social movement, there is a high degree of human contact, exemplified by crafting workshops, Steampunk Balls, and entire Steampunk conventions.
Customization. You can “Steampunk” almost everything, by creating handcrafted laptop cases or iPhones, or redecorating your home or office, all using 19th Century materials and processes.
Weaponry. No Steampunk outfit is complete without your own custom-crafted converted Nerf gun.
Reuse/Recycle. Steampunk rejects modern single-use throwaway tech and built-in-obsolescence. 19th Century Artisans built things to last. Organic, natural fibers, non-manufactured goods.
Music. A few “Steampunk” bands have sprung up that feature retro music and period costumes and instrumentation.
Manners. Steampunkers are a gentle folk. The modern masses have lost some of the grace and charm of the Victorian Era, and Steampunk hopes to restore some of that lost civility.

The Literary Movement

The Steampunk Literary Movement is what I’d call a “reimagining of history.” It’s taking historic events, specifically during the Victorian Era, and applying Science Fiction or Fantasy tropes to this period. We start with the works of Jules Verne, H. G. Wells, Mary Shelley, and Edgar Rice Burroughs who all imagined a future filled with strange flying machines, mechanical marvels, terrifying monsters, and, of course, polite society. Steampunk writers try to recapture the spirit of those authors, except with the retrospective of a century of progress, can go further than those authors ever could. It’s not as much thinking about what could have been as much as thinking about what should have been. Why don’t we have flying cars yet? What if flying cars had been invented instead of automobiles? Why don’t we have androids yet? What if they had been invented over a century ago? How would this change society?

Steampunk Literature can also be split into two general categories: First World and Second World. First World is simply alternate history, set in known locations with known historical figures, whereas Second World is either our future or an alternate world/reality, or even in a Fantasy setting.

The literary movements shares most of the same features of the social movement, but there are some general themes that abound in Steampunk Literature:

Steampunk Aesthetics. All the things mentioned above. Goggles gears, gloves, etc. Think about the Apollo Lunar Module. Cramped, filled with buttons and levers. That’s 20th Century aesthetics. A Steampunk Lunar Module would have all the comforts of home with a minimum of controls. Plush cushions, tea service, waiters, cigars, and navigation done by dead reckoning. There’s the moon, head that way.
Alternate History. What if? What if mechanical computers were invented in 1846 instead of 1946? What if mobile communications existed in 1810 instead of 1910? What if a wealthy individual created his own Manhattan Project in 1860 in order to create some impossible weapon that allowed America to conquer Europe or could turn a city’s population into zombies? What if Aliens landed in 1850 in brass capsules?
Retro Futurism. Modern industrial practices, especially the reliance on fossil fuels, is clearly unsustainable. All our technologies are belong to dust. A Steampunk Future is a return to sustainable technology that don’t require expensive manufacturing processes and cargo ships full of crude oil. Or it’s all Magic.
Steam Power. This is not saying that everything in Steampunk Literature is steam powered, but it is rejecting diesel, gas, and electrical power (and nuclear while we’re at it). Essentially anything 20th Century. However, exotic power sources are fine. Magnetism, Aether, magic, 8th Rays, The Force, etc. Typical Sci-Fi sources are out, too, so no Warp Drive or laser blasters. Think more Flintstones than Jetsons.
Social Change. As with all the scope of human history, the Victorian Era was rife with social upheaval, in particular, the rise of the Middle Class. The ugliness of factory sweatshops was still on the horizon. Woman’s Rights was in the offing, Civil Rights had its beginnings. Old-time monarchies still held sway in much of the world, and the extreme barbarism of the 20th Century had yet to start.
Exploration. So much of the world lay undiscovered, not to mention Outer Space. Everything was conjecture. What would we find at the South Pole? The Moon? The Center of the Earth? What is mankind’s potential? What is our place in the Universe? Not to mention the secrets of biology, chemistry, and quantum mechanics. 20th Century research has produced the great threats to mankind’s existence. But in the 19th, mankind had a kind of innocence, and thought it was a matter of time before they could cure mankind’s ills. They never saw the implications, so modern writers often explore that fallacy and the dire consequences of Science Gone Wrong.
Individual Creativity. How much better off would be have been if the Apollo missions and the Space Shuttle had been private concerns? 19th Century writers never imagined that the State would sponsor such endeavors. The 20th Century is marked by a continual consolidation of power to the government and rampant socialism, coupled with an attack on large corporations (except for gas companies and banks). Steampunk seeks a return to the concept of privately-funded operations, where wealthy magnates use their influence for the betterment of mankind.
Invention. In 1899, it has been rumored that the US Patent Office almost closed for lack of business. We know in retrospect that this was crap, and the 19th Century introduced a continual increase in patent applications that has been maintained to this day. Steampunk is actually more about re-invention, about achieving a modern level of functionality while using 19th Century processes and materials.
Beginnings of Industry. True American industrialism began in 1908 with the introduction of the Model T,essentially the end of pre-industrial society. Steampunk revels in the start of the world before the assembly line, when you built a car piece by piece from the ground up, using hand-machined metals and wood, a highly personal and rewarding experience.
Giant Mechanisms. There’s a theme in Steampunk literature to super-size common mechanisms. So if you introduce a tank, it’s a giant machine four stories high with a crew of 200. Robots are pot-bellied behemoths made of cast iron, not tiny little R2D2’s. All, of course, all hand-built at great expense by individuals, not modern corporations or governments.

I’d love to hear your own thoughts on “what is Steampunk” because these lists only scratch the surface, and each new novel brings a new elements to the genre.

*List of recent Steampunk blog posts:

Story Structure Part XIII: Why Hero’s Journey?

2010-01-18T17:56:00.001-08:00

This is the last(for a while) in a series of posts talking about the story structure known as “The Hero’s Journey.” I’m borrowing heavily from“The Writer’s Journey: A Mythical Structure for Writers 3rd Edition” by Christopher Vogler. This is my interpretation of it, and I’ve tried to highlight some pitfalls I see writers falling into. Click here to review other installments of Story Structure.

Why Hero’s Journey

First of all, thanks to all who have ~~endured~~ participated in my Hero’s Journey posts. Your input has been wonderful. If you ever have questions about using the Hero’s Journey in your own manuscript, I’d be happy to take a look and offer my input.

You’re probably asking yourself, “okay, I understand the various parts of the Hero’s Journey. How do I use it in my own writing? And why is it important?”

I think there’s a common moral behind every story that embodies the Hero’s Journey, and it’s change is hard, but worth it in the end. Not only that, but that you can’t change the world, you can only change yourself. Let’s look at the main themes of the Hero’s Journey.

Change is hard. Otherwise there’s no story. A story is about overcoming obstacles. No obstacles, no story.
People will oppose you, or at least have conflicting goals. We live in a finite world, and no one gets everything they want. Therefore, we have conflict.
Change is worth it. Otherwise, what would be the point?
You cannot succeed alone, and you cannot succeed at other’s expense if you care about them. We are social animals, and although many a story has been written about an individual’s struggles against the elements, no one lives in a complete vacuum devoid of human contact. Even in Cast Away, Chuck Noland(Tom Hanks)’s one goal is to return to the Land of the Living, because he’d rather die than live alone.
Each character experiences their own Hero’s Journey, including the Villain.
True change only comes from within. It’s not enough just to want to change.
You must risk Death to achieve your goals. This is a bit deeper than simple self-sacrifice. It’s about abandoning closely-held beliefs about yourself and your world, and knowing that real change is more than just changing your clothes. It’s a fundamental change in how you see yourself and your place in the world.

The reason the Hero’s Journey succeeds in captivating audiences again and again (Avatar is its latest glowing example) is that it captures the experience of human emotional growth and change. Almost all of us have “left home” at some point on some kind of adventure. Whether it be a vacation, going off to college, joining the army, marriage, birth of a child, starting a new job, or dealing with the loss of those things, we’ve all had to make a meaningful change in our lives and experienced opposition and conflict. The question is, what makes these experiences heroic? What makes them worthy of a story?

The answer to that is, “how hard was it?”

For example, I’ve been thinking about writing a memoir screenplay about my college experience (who hasn’t?). I went to college for four years and landed a good job. That’s not a story, that’s like saying I went to the supermarket and bought some food. A Hero’s Journey is more than just an experience. I learned Computer Science and how to live away from home. Hmm, still nothing. It’s not just about learning. A lot of things happened over those four years. Which one was the hardest? Well, I suffered a lot of depression. This hindered my ability to form relationships. I was socially awkward. I didn’t date much. I chose the wrong major to start with. Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. I had issues. We see my overarching goal—to graduate and find a good job. That’s why I started this journey. But I also wanted to not feel depressed and alone, I wanted to be part of society. The question is, what happened? How did I start out in the wrong major and lonely and wind up successful and (somewhat) socially confident? That’s what makes it a story.

I could write this memoir as a series of vignettes and incidents, each interesting it it’s own right, like an anthology. But it doesn’t quite capture the experience as a whole. Were there any truly defining moments? What risks did I take? How did I change on a fundamental level? Which did I learn about myself? So instead of a pure memoir, listing all these events in order, including the dull unimportant ones, could I create an allegorical story based on real incidents to illustrate my growth? Could I distill a four year experience down to its essence, and create a narrative compressing those years into only a few weeks? Create my own Hero’s Journey?

That’s how to think of the Hero’s Journey. It’s illustrative of how people solve problems and achieve their goals, how they learn about the world and adapt to it, and how people will try to stop you every step of the way. I was graded. I was rejected. I was yelled at. I felt like quitting more than once. But I endured. The Hero’s Journey reflects the transformations all of us have experienced, and gives hope and inspiration to those facing their own obstacles.

The Hero’s Journey is not just a story, it’s also about a profound experience. A world-changing revelation about ourselves. The realization that Life Itself is a journey, and that sometimes the toughest experiences are the most rewarding. When you think about your writing, think about the emotional journey your characters are working through, about how they feel lost, depressed, or discouraged. How must they change? How does the Villain point out their weaknesses and their flaws in their thinking? What kind of growth will they undergo, and how hard will it be to swallow, and how great will it feel to finally push through?

Caveats. Some people use the Hero’s Journey as a template for their story. I think that’s a great idea. Some use it for reference. Is there a Mentor? Check. Is there a Crisis point? Check. But I think the Hero’s Journey is only a part of what makes a work great, so here are some other things a writer needs to do:

Create likable or believable characters. If the reader can’t identify with your characters, you won’t be able to relate your key messages.
Write in a confident style. Grammar, spelling, comprehensible sentences are all critical.
Invent an interesting world that challenges your characters.
Utilize accepted story structure. Plot points are implied in the Hero’s Journey, but other plot structure may yield better results, such as three- and five- act structures, etc.
Figure out the actual lesson and/or moral of the story. Think about the contrast between where the character starts and where he ends.

Here’s the real secret. Nobody really, truly changes. I’ll never be a woman, a person of color (in America), or a space alien. I’ll never be an gregarious used-car salesman kind of person, no matter how many journeys I undergo.However, what I have learned is that sometimes, it pays to be a salesman, and I can do it if I have to. Somewhere deep inside me, I’m friendly and outgoing, and I had lost touch with that person. Your Hero has always been a Hero, but experience has taught him that heroism is frowned upon and is punished. The Villains in our lives have made it clear that if we speak up, if we’re different, if we dare to alter the status quo, then expect to be challenged, put down, and even killed. But when you want something badly enough, you’ll find a way. You’ll find something inside yourself that will allow you to conquer those fears and Villains along life’s journey. Because, like Dorothy found out, she could have gone home at any time—she just didn’t want to, or she wasn’t ready. Or like in the Circle of Iron, the greatest Villain in the world, the hardest master to defeat, is the one looking at us through the mirror. A Hero must look inside himself to find that magic Elixir, because it’s been there all the time, otherwise he would have never taken that first step. I went to college because I wanted an education, I interacted with people because I wanted friends—I just never knew how hard those things would be, and what I’d have to give up to achieve these goals.

Writing. What about this shared journey we’re on, the road to publication? Somewhere deep inside us lies a great writer, but we need to strip ourselves down to find that person, to remove decades of experience to find the core of our emotions, and then learn the skills to bring that to print, and become the writer we were born to be. The writer we are meant to be. That’s the Hero’s Journey we’re all on. Use that knowledge to identify what’s holding you back from grabbing the golden Elixir of a book deal.

Good luck!

Armageddon Cookie – Friday Flash Fiction

2010-01-14T22:46:00.001-08:00

Armageddon Cookie

There was no denying it. An asteroid hurtled towards Earth on an unstoppable collision course. Recriminations flew—how could such a threat exist undetected? Or was it? Are there evacuation plans?Who gets to live? Who knew what and when? Why weren’t we told?

Rioters burned NY and DC to the ground. All over the planet, law and order disintegrated as this devastating day approached.

My wife and I sat watching what little TV programming remained—pray-ins, mass suicides, tearful celebrities hugging each other, and live feeds targeting the approaching menace. Judgment Day was here, there was nothing left to do but cry or participate in the local sex-and-death orgies.

“Any last requests,” I asked her. Her eyes had darkened from days of crying and sleeplessness. We had run out of food—there was no one willing to distribute or sell it, not even at gunpoint.

She shook her head, then grabbed my hand. “Yes. There is one thing. Before it’s all over, I want—I want a fresh-baked chocolate chip cookie.”

I blinked. “What?”

“That’s what I want.”

“Seriously?” We sat quietly.

“Yes. Please, can you go get me one?”

“You want me to go out, hours before The Strike, and find you a cookie?”

“Yes.” She stared at the floor. “You asked. That’s what I want. That’s my last request.”

I swallowed and looked at my watch. I flipped through the local channels. Gangs with guns or worse roamed the streets in an torrent of senseless violence. “I might not return.”

“That’s okay. I mean—” she quickly corrected, “that would be terrible, but I’d understand.”

I sighed. What else could I do? I didn’t want to go out of this world with my wife mad with me. So I threw on my jacket, jumped into the car, and headed towards the nearest shopping center.

The roads were suicide. No one obeyed a single traffic rule. Speed demons flew by, testing the limits of their vehicles. Many twisted cars lay in the ditch, some with bodies still inside. People hunted people, the ultimate rush. Couldn’t we just die with dignity? Must we revert to savages? Ahead of me, a group of youths surrounded a car, shot the driver, and stole the car, only to wreck it a block later. I turned onto a side street.

The mall looked like a war zone with smoke pouring from burning cars and buildings. The windows stood like gaping caverns, the glass gone. I tooled the car around, trying to find some sign of civilized life. I flipped on the radio. Some stations featured an automated countdown, so there was no mistaking the moment of impact. I found one station advertising an “end of the world” concert, featuring top rockers—and food! The mall seemed too dangerous, so I decided to check out this concert.

Big mistake. The roads had become littered with abandoned cars. Thousands of people converged on this end-of-the-world mayhem. After becoming trapped, I left my car and followed the crush of people. The crowd defied description. Drugs, nudity, gang rapes, gunfights, all next to a blaring amplification system. The concessions consisted of little more than cold hot dogs and government cheese—and barrels upon barrels of beer. No one cared about the atrocities. Since the asteroid would impact across the globe from us, we wouldn’t even die in the initial blast. They said we might even hold out for a day or so, until the Earth opened up and covered us with lava, or searing winds blew us away, or the sky filled with flaming fragments of rock. It wouldn’t be pleasant...so maybe a bullet to the head wasn’t so bad.

Then, in the far corner, I found them. Well, I smelled them before I saw them. Fresh baked cookies. I forced myself through the crowd, and stuffed them in my pockets and shirt. I bolted from this madhouse, shoving my way through the throng, wishing I could unsee some of the cruel images I had witnessed.

I located a car with keys and a clear exit. I drove it away, but a gang of youths chased me, pulled me out through the window, and beat me like a dirty carpet. I figured that this was the end, that I would never see my wife again, but a rival gang started shooting at them so they fled. And did I mention? They stole all my hard-earned cookies.

I picked myself up. My watch was broken. I had no idea how much time was left. I wondered if I could grab some more cookies, but time grew precious. I stumbled back home, a good six miles away.

I won’t detail that miserable journey. Suffice it to say that when my wife unbolted the door, I collapsed at her feet, bleeding, dehydrated, but alive.

“I’m sorry,” I gasped. “I had them, but I was jumped. I’m so sorry. How much longer?”

She helped clean me up, and brought me our last bottle of water. “Not long. Thank you for trying.”

We sat down, watching the final minutes tick away. Cameras in Dubai televised the approaching rock, clearly visible like a little oblong moon that kept growing by the minute.

“Why did you want a cookie so bad,” I finally asked, breaking the silence.

“I kept it,” she said.

“You kept what?” Then it hit me. The first time we met. It was so casual. I had made cookies, and brought them to a party. I offered this beautiful girl one, and she accepted. Had she kept it, all these years?

She produced the cookie from its bag under the couch. “I thought you’d rather eat a fresh one, but this one will do. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion.”

We split the rock-hard cookie, and each placed a piece in our mouth. When the countdown hit zero, the sky over Dubai grew impossibly bright. The feed died. I held my wife’s hand, chewing the last morsel of food to ever touch my lips.

Conflict Must Matter

2010-01-14T09:52:00.001-08:00

Conflict Must Matter

We all know that all good stories have Conflict. A good definition of Conflict is: a Protagonist faces Obstacles in achieving their Goals. The inability to succeed is the conflict that drives the story forward. So on an intrinsic level we can divide Conflict into Protagonist, Goal, and Obstacles.

It’s pretty easy to identify Conflict in these examples:

Bob wanted to ask Sue to marry him but was afraid of rejection. Protagonist: Bob. Goal: Marriage. Obstacles: Sue’s unpredictable response, Bob’s sense of self-worth.
I felt a tug on the line. Protagonist: 1st person Narrator. Goals: catch a fish, to eat, to achieve a skill. Obstacle: Reeling in a fish is hard.
It’s the night of my first date, and the car won’t start. Protagonist: 1st person Narrator. Goal: Successful 1st date. Obstacle: faulty car.
It was the End of the World and Fred’s wife begged him to go out and buy her a cookie. Protagonist: Fred. Goal: Satisfy wife’s last wish. Obstacle: The world is ending.*

Or in these examples, where is the conflict?

It was raining outside. Protagonist: ? Goal: ? Obstacle: Too much rain?
I noticed that the spaceship featured megaglow burstthrusters, supercharged atomizers, and pink-trimmed control cabinets. Protagonist: 1st Person Narrator. Goal: Learning about the ship? Obstacle: ?

As you can see from the examples above, conflict is fairly straightforward. The problem is—are any of these examples stories? No. Although conflict is necessary for a story, it’s not sufficient. There has to be something else. The question you want to ask yourself is “So What?” So Bob was afraid of rejection. What happens?

Bob wanted to ask Sue to marry him but was afraid of rejection. ~~He went to work the next day and ate a donut.~~
I felt a tug on the line. ~~I dropped the pole and started passing out beer~~.

NO! That’s still not a story. Tell me what happens! Or worse:

It’s the night of my first date, and the car won’t start. ~~I shrugged, since I don’t want a date anyways~~.
It was the End of the World and Fred’s wife begged him to go out and buy her a cookie. ~~It was okay~~.
It was raining outside. ~~I took a nap~~.
I noticed that the spaceship featured megaglow burstthrusters, supercharged atomizers, and a fetching pink-trimmed control cabinets. ~~Magical mecho-fae cleaned the lightfloors with bubblewax~~.

Um, hello? What’s the point? Here I’m using the word “SO” to show what to do with the conflict. Show my why the conflict matters.

Bob wanted to ask Sue to marry him but was afraid of rejection, SO he started blowing off their dates, unable to face the prospect of learning the truth.
I felt a tug on the line, SO I started yelling to everyone while I reeled in the struggling fish.
It’s the night of my first date, and the car won’t start, SO I run through the falling snow all the way into the city.
It was the End of the World and Fred’s wife begged him to go out and buy her a cookie, SO Fred fought his way through the panicked rioters to the only Starbucks still open.

Do these now start sounding like a story? Or to fix the two non-conflict examples:

It was raining[Obstacle] outside on the first day of the 2010 Winter Olympics, and we[Protagonist] couldn’t get in our practice runs[Goal], SO we were forced to go to a gym and run extensive endurance drills[Why it Matters].
I noticed that the spaceship featured megaglow burstthrusters, supercharged atomizers, and pink-trimmed control cabinets[Obstacle]. I[Protagonist] had ordered green[Goal], SO I had to delay the mission while the magical Mecho-fae repainted the trim[Why It Matters].

The question is, how does the Protagonist handle the obstacle? What are the consequences? Ask yourself, “does my conflict matter?” Is it changing the course of the story, or is it just there to annoy people? If the conflict doesn’t change anything, then it’s not really conflict, it’s just inconvenience…to your readers. Make every conflict count.

Do you check your writing to make sure every conflict is there for a reason?

* I actually had this plot as a dream.

Story Structure Part XII: Return With The Elixir

2010-01-11T09:52:00.001-08:00

This is the twelfth in a series of posts talking about the story structure known as “The Hero’s Journey.” I’m borrowing heavily from“The Writer’s Journey: A Mythical Structure for Writers 3rd Edition” by Christopher Vogler. This is my interpretation of it, and I’ve tried to highlight some pitfalls I see writers falling into. Click here to review other installments of Story Structure.

Return With The Elixir

The End. The Dénouement. The Conclusion. The Epilogue. The Resolution. The Verdict. The Payoff. Whatever it’s called, we’ve come to the final chapter of our Hero’s Journey. We know what’s going to happen, and finally, our Hero is back home in the Ordinary World. But, it’s not the same world he started in. It’s changed. He’s changed. He’s undergone a traumatic transformation, and now returns home forever changed. “The Elixir” is the essence of this change, the lesson, the arrest, the anti-virus, the deciding vote, the surrender of the Enemy, the winning score, the hard-earned victory against incredible odds. Something he can carry with him for the rest of his life, and improve the lives of everyone he cares about.

It’s nice to show how your Hero has changed, to cement his transformation. In the initial Ordinary World, he was pushed around, taken advantage of, alone, in debt, or whatever problem he couldn’t overcome. Now he handles bullies with ease, is wise to the world, rife with friends, loaded with riches, and a master of his destiny. Of course, you don’t have to wrap up everything—don’t forget about that sequel—but make whatever final points you want to make.

I think this brings up the entire purpose of writing the book. The “Return” is where you draw your conclusion and illustrate your lesson. “Marriage is hard work”, “You must lead by example”, “Grief is how we move on”, “Don’t ever cross a ghost”, etc. Did you make your point? Did your character experience enough consequences to warrant this ending? The ending justifies the meaning.

Now to conclude our Benchwarming Quarterback story. One final play, one last chance to prove himself, and he leaves the game. On the drive back to the hospital, he confesses his sins. He’s been a terrible son, a lousy quarterback, and a poor boyfriend. The cheerleader never meant to hurt him, but he seemed disinterested, so she strayed. He understands, and forgives her. Everything he’s done lately has been a failure, and even his attempt to redeem himself was false.

Now for the Lesson part. He must do the hard things. He can’t just waltz through life. When he arrives at the hospital, he has the Elixir. He’s back in his Ordinary World. Turns out—his father is fine, and in fact, is conscious. They found the game on the local cable channel. They beg him why he left the game and he tells them because his responsibility lay here…with the people he loves. Suddenly he has his father’s approval, and his girlfriend sees him in a new light. Turns out his Ally on the team caught the winning touchdown, so everything worked out in the end. It’s not a perfect ending, but we leave the story with the sense that things will work out.

Return With The Elixir Goals

Clearly demonstrate that the Lesson has been learned.
Tie up most loose ends, especially major subplots. If the airplane is going down, either crash it or save it.
It’s fine to leave a teaser for the sequel, but at least resolve something. I’ve read some books that just stop. Bad. How do I know there will be a payoff in the sequel, or will it just stop as well?
This is the part of the story where you show that you appreciate the time the reader spent reading your novel. Give them something to talk about. Make them wish the story never ended.

Non Goals

Don’t tie everything up. Note that in the QB story, we don’t know what’s going to happen with the girlfriend’s baby. We only know he’s be there to support her.
Don’t introduce more conflict here. This is the one point of your book where it’s fine if everyone agrees for once. There can be a implied conflict, such as “the whole city has burned and we need to rebuild, but at least we’ll do it together.”
Endings don’t have to be happy. They need to be conclusive. In “Paranormal Activity,” the ending is the credits (or lack thereof). But the Lesson is clear: Some people are just doomed. Get over it.

Next Installment: How to Apply the Hero’s Journey to your own writing, what it is and what it isn’t.

Revision Reschmision

2010-01-08T09:06:00.001-08:00

Revision Reschmision

I decided to take an online (for a small fee) course on revision for my WIP Steam Palace. I’m not going to mention which one at this time because I want to run through the entire course first before promoting it, although if you’re dying to know, send me an email or follow me on Twitter. The concept of the course is “single-draft revision,” meaning that I take my rough draft directly to a final draft, using a bunch of worksheets and index cards as intermediary steps.

So far, it’s been a challenge. It’s been a lot of work, and I have dozens of pages of handwritten (which for me means nearly-indecipherable) notes. The idea is that I maintain a record of everything I write during this process in case I want to go back…but it seems to be turning into TMI. I’ve now spent 5 weeks doing nothing but reading my draft over and over from different angles and taking copious notes. This week, I’m trying to tease out all the conflict and figure out how to improve it.

Things I’ve learned so far:

It’s more important to get the story right than the style. This was my mistake with my Dawn’s Rise revision attempt. I was so focused on my writing style that I completely ignored the content of the story, so my effort finally fell apart because I couldn’t get the story together. If this process works for Steam Palace, I might try to use it for Dawn’s Rise at some point.
World-building is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can kill your story by introducing tons of backstory and expository writing. On the other hand, it might be the only thing that sets your book apart from others. It’s what makes your novel unique.
Conflict is King. Well, I didn’t really just learn this, but it’s something that’s becoming paramount in the revision process. It’s not just conflict overall in a grand sense, but conflict down to the scene/paragraph level.
Analysis is hard work. And it’s wearing me down. I’m dying to write. I think best when I’m writing, not when I’m thinking about writing. So please, revision course, let me start writing!

I know I’m going to have to cut scenes, and perhaps rewrite large portions of the novel. The problem is, I don’t know what would be better than what I’ve written. I’m assuming the next few weeks of this course will reveal that, but right now, all I see are problems, and not solutions. I know the Climax is weak. I know the Ordeal is weak. I’m now getting worried about the beginning as well. The whole revision process is becoming overwhelming, mostly because I don’t have a clear picture of what the book should be. And without a concrete goal, it’s hard to know what direction to move in.

That’s probably what happens when you focus solely on problems for five weeks straight, you start seeing it as a unsalvageable piece of crap. What was I thinking? No one’s going to buy this. How am I going to turn a 240pg manuscript, 50 pages of notes and 104 index cards into a polished, marketable debut masterpiece? I guess that’s why I’m taking the course. Stay tuned.

(Thanks to InkyGirl for the comic)

Story Structure Part XI: Resurrection

2010-01-04T09:46:00.001-08:00

This is the eleventh in a series of posts talking about the story structure known as “The Hero’s Journey.” I’m borrowing heavily from“The Writer’s Journey: A Mythical Structure for Writers 3rd Edition” by Christopher Vogler. This is my interpretation of it, and I’ve tried to highlight some pitfalls I see writers falling into. Click here to review other installments of Story Structure.

Resurrection

At last, we’re at the Climax of the story. The Stakes are at their highest, and everything the Hero has fought for and sacrificed for is coming to a head. As the name “Resurrection” implies, your Hero must not only face death, but in some way, he must die and be reborn anew. Some Heroes actually physically die. Some appear dead or hopelessly lost, only to return miraculously saved. Your Hero must risk everything. This is the make-or-break moment of the story. This the “The Point” of the story, the moral, the lesson you wanted to impart to your readers. This is where nothing get left unsaid, and souls get bared.

Elements of Resurrection

Everything hangs in the balance. There is nothing left on the table, and every character is “all-in.”
Your Hero makes a major sacrifice for the greater good.
Your Hero learns something about himself he didn’t know, remember, or care about that changes everything.
Your Hero transforms into something greater, even if just for a moment.
Your Hero is forever changed by the experience.
The Villain is defeated, because he doesn’t learn or transform like the Hero does.

Now for our Benchwarming Quarterback. He has fought hard, but time is running out. His team is still losing. His Enemies have tried everything. Blitzing. Sending in bad plays. Calling penalties. Illegal hits. His body is bruised and aching, he can barely stand up, yet he keeps fighting, knowing his father could die any second. It’s the final seconds of the 4th Quarter, and they’re down by five points. They have time for one more play, but our Hero is suddenly struck by something.

What is he doing? Why is he playing football? Shouldn’t he be by his father’s side? He realizes that by returning to the game, he’s still running from responsibilities, running from himself. He hasn’t changed. He’s only tried harder. Here’s the critical piece of the whole Hero’s Journey. Here’s the one takeaway I’d like you to have from all of these posts. Your Hero must change. Otherwise the whole entire story has been a waste of time. Our Benchwarming QB is about to die. He hands the ball to someone else and leaves the field. The entire crowd is stunned. He grabs his girlfriend, and they go to her car. There’s time for one last play, one last chance to win, but he’s gone. To everyone on the field, it’s as if he just up and died. It’s a race to see if he can get back to the hospital. His Resurrection occurs during this car ride, and when he steps back out, he’s a new person. He may never play football again, but he’s no longer that irresponsible benchwarmer he started out as.

Resurrection Goals

Something your Hero holds dear must die.
If you have anything left to reveal, do it now.
Your Villain is pulling out all the stops as well. To him, victory is at hand.
Demonstrate the reason why you wrote the book. Make your point.
Find out what the most important thing to your Hero.
Your Hero must face his Worst Fear.

Non Goals

Your Hero can’t win unless everyone wins. Sometimes a Hero even needs to lose to win. What does he gain here?
You don’t have to tie up everything. Just the main threads. Sub-plots finish here as well. Leave something for the sequel. ;)
Change is not the same as trying harder. That means it’s not enough to be “better, stronger, or faster,” because that’s really just More of the Same.

How does your Hero change? How does this let him overcome his final obstacles on his path to Resurrection? What was the critical lesson?

Steam Palace No-Kiss Blogfest Entry

2010-01-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

Here is my entry for No Kiss Blogfest on Jan 2, 2010!!!! Go to that link to see all the other no-kiss kissing scenes!

It’s not exactly a no-kiss scene (since my last kissing scene was actually a no-kiss scene). It’s more of a “hearsay” kissing scene. In this scene, Prudencia has just returned from a long weekend of wining and dining with the Duke. Told from Thomas Putnam’s point of view, from the bar/music room aboard the Steam Palace. Also note that this is a rough draft, so please no critiques.

Thomas threw the fiery liquid down his throat, and slammed the glass on the table. The alcohol eased the pain in his leg, but his heart still refused to mend. He had returned to the Steam Palace with frequency, determined to speak with Prudencia and discover what, if anything, lie between them.

As if on cue, Prudencia entered the stateroom, carrying a few small bags. She laid them down behind the bar, and caught Lily’s eye.

“Prudencia! You’re back!” The two women ran to each other and hugged.

“You won’t believe what I’m about to tell you, Lily, but I just experienced perhaps the most wonderful few days of my life. I have so much to tell you! Where do I start? The estate, the manor, Lily, I think this might be the one! I’m so excited!”

“Pru, I need to—”

She ignored Lily’s gesture. “Wow! Dunstan, which I may address him as, is just marvelous! He is a brilliant commander, and I think we really connected on a deep level. Well, until I beat him in a race...Oh! Remember how I told you about my old Mechohorse? He gave me a new one! Well, not a new one, but the same one I used to ride, except in full working order! It’s outside on the shore, I can’t wait for you to see it. Lily, I’m so excited. He said he would call on me soon. I just hope I didn’t offend him.”

“Pru will you—”

Prudencia hopped on a seat, her back to Thomas, who could hear the whole thing. “You see, there was an incident. I can’t explain it, but we were touring his vast library, and I felt someone behind me, and he—he kissed me. Just like that. I certainly wasn’t expecting it! I didn’t know what to do, so I refused him. There was a moment when I thought he would explode, but he treated me like a gentleman, and apologized for the affront. My mind is just swirling like a unhinged carousel.”

“Pru! Stop.” Lily nodded towards Thomas. Prudencia turned around, and her face dropped.

“Oh my lord. Thomas! I—I—”

Thomas placed his braced leg on the floor, and began hobbling across the room towards the door. After the fight, he fashioned a brace to support himself. He still relied on the crutches for balance but at least he could stand on his own.

Prudencia slid off her stool and ran up to him. “Thomas, please stop. I didn’t see you there. You heard everything, didn’t you?”

Thomas shrugged. “What difference would it have made? You have your Duke, your nobility awaits. You kissed him? I shall not stand in your way. Congratulations. I’m sure you’ll enjoy your new mechohorse.”

“Thomas, wait!” The woman blocked his path and laid her hands on his breast. “You’re a dear friend of mine. I could not bear to lose such friendship over this. Please, sit with me. There must be so much on your mind since that night.”

Her small hands pleaded with him, her touch branding him with fire. He could not resist her concerned eyes. “Very well, but do not torture me with stories about that man.”

2010 Goals and Resolutions

2010-01-01T15:35:00.001-08:00

I’ve been thinking about this whole Goal and Resolution thing. Looking back, I had no way to predict where I’d be today back on Jan. 1, 2009. That’s part of the creative process, it can’t be predicted, only channeled. I don’t know where I’ll be at the end of this year. So I guess my question is, “what will make me happy when I look back on January 1, 2011?” (career-wise)

First and foremost, I want to know that this whole “writing career” thing is progressing. I want to know that all this effort and sacrifice is getting me somewhere. If I don’t have an agent or a publication deal, then I should feel like it’s just around the corner. If I’m not better off than I am right now, then I really will reconsider this whole thing. Not that I shouldn’t reconsider it right now…but I know I’m still improving and learning all the time. I kind of see the process unfolding in front of me, but I want to see it to completion. And make some money.

So I’ll write some things down, but, what I really want is to feel some measure of success by the End of the Year.

First, let’s distinguish between Goals and Resolutions. Goals are quantifiable and measureable. Resolutions are just good intentions. However, I reserve the right to revise both goals and resolutions due to changing circumstances. It will be interesting to see how close I come to them this time next year.

Resolutions.
I, Iapetus999, resolve in 2010 to:

Be a better father and husband. Spend more “quality time” with the family.
Eat healthy and exercise. Get back to the gym and the pool.
Stay focused on my writing and not get too distracted by blogging.
Increase the amount of critiques I do.
Clear all the clutter out of the house.
Try to avoid disasters.

Goals

Lose weight. Here’s the plan. On Jan. 4, I will “re-start” my diet with two weeks of “induction.” That means no beer, caffeine, or carbs for two weeks. No comments, please. My goal is to lose 8-10lbs in January, then ~5lbs/month until I’m down to my goal weight (200).
Complete the current Steam Palace revision by April 1. This will be hard since I’m already 2 weeks behind due to holidays. Which gives me 13 weeks to finish a 19-week plan.
Attract an agent and/or publisher for Steam Palace. This implies that I actually send out queries (gasp) and/or manuscripts.
Get back into running (tendonitis permitting). I want to build to my weekly goal of 25 miles, and complete a half-marathon by EOY. This may require that I lose the bulk of the weight first, because I suspect losing ~30lbs will help the tendonitis a lot.
Write a new book for NaNoWriMo. Who knows what it will be. This also means I need to start plotting around Sept 1.
Complete a draft of The Immortals. It’s a very complicated story with a more detailed world than anything I’ve done before.
Go to at least one writer’s conference.
Go to at least one convention where I can push my novel.
Take a vacation at some point. (or is writing all day a vacation in itself?)

That’s probably more than enough. Good luck to everyone in 2010!

Story Structure Part X: The Road Back

2009-12-28T11:04:00.001-08:00

This is the tenth in a series of posts talking about the story structure known as “The Hero’s Journey.” I’m borrowing heavily from“The Writer’s Journey: A Mythical Structure for Writers 3rd Edition” by Christopher Vogler. This is my interpretation of it, and I’ve tried to highlight some pitfalls I see writers falling into. Click here to review other installments of Story Structure.

The Road Back

Act III. This is where the magic happens. This is the part of the story you wanted to write since you held the first glimmer of the concept in your head. Everything is heading downhill with a breeze at your back at this point…until you hit the rapids heading for the waterfall. The stakes are huge. Everything your Hero has ever known is at risk. A great winner-take-all conflict is looming. I can throw in more clichés but you get the idea.

Your Hero is now exiting the Special World he has been in since the beginning of Act II. He’s heading back to the Ordinary World, but this isn’t the same world he left—he isn’t the same person anymore. The problem is…you can never go home. We all know that. And worse than that—your Hero hasn’t resolved anything in Act II. The Villain is pissed off, and follows the Hero back to the Ordinary World, putting that world in jeopardy. The Road Back is hard, and if your Hero fails, he’ll never go home again. He may have even met some would-be Heroes stuck in the Limbo, unable to overcome their fears and forever lost in the Special World. Maybe he can help those lost souls home too.

Our benchwarming Quarterback now has a bug up his butt. In Act II he discovered that his nice, safe, comfortable world no longer exists. To return back home, he must keep moving forward. In some ways he’s become the Villain. He abandoned his team on the field, he abandoned his family at the hospital, and of course he tells his girlfriend he never wants to see her again. His Road Back is hard. He’ll never be the Benchwarming Quarterback again. He’ll never have that special relationship with his girlfriend again. He may never be able to speak with his father again. But…what now? Who is he? All he knows is that he has to win this game. It’s become more than a game—it’s a life and death struggle, with his father’s life held in the balance.

He returns towards the end of the 3rd Quarter, and his team is still losing. As he enters the field, he sees his team’s starting QB struggle, limping around the field, the other team crushing him to the ground again and again. It’s fourth and long, and they have to punt. Our Hero dons his helmet and runs on the field. In the confusion, a man runs off, keeping their side at 11. When the ball is hiked, he steps in front of the punter, takes the ball, and runs like a flamethrower is aimed at his back. The opposing team is confused as he runs the ball down the field, leaping would-be tacklers, spinning and driving, bowling over one last man and making a first down by inches. Coach is screaming, the starting QB is ranting, but our Hero refuses to leave the field. It’s his game now. Still down by three scores, it will take everything he has to lead his team to victory. He will win this game, or he will die trying. Time is running out.

The Road Back Goals

Return to the Ordinary World. Stick to your Hero’s original Goals. Why did he enter the Special World in the first place? What did he learn there? How has his life changed?
Your Hero has few Allies left. Everyone else wants to go home, too. He must rally them for one last battle.
Raise the Stakes. Your Ordinary World is no longer a safe place. Your Hero is now the Villain’s #1 Most Wanted.
The pace should be excruciatingly fast at this point.
Starting casting doubt on whether the Hero will actually succeed. The final outcome should always be in question, and in fact doubtful.
This is why movies like The Wizard of Oz and Circle of Iron are such great examples of The Hero’s Journey. The HJ isn’t about finding out what’s “out there,” it’s about finding out what’s inside of you, about finding out who you are and what matters to you the most.

Non Goals

Do you really thing this is a good place for backstory? Any new information at this point is more of the nature of a “reveal” than world-building. “Oh, BTW, the girl you like is actually your half-sister”. D’ohh!
Pretty much anything goes at this point, as long as it raises the conflict. Special and Ordinary Worlds intermingle. Clashes erupt.
No big world-changing revelations—yet. Trying hard doesn’t cut it. Using your skills doesn’t cut it. A transformation is coming, Strip your Hero down to his most raw, naked self, because his trial by fire is about to begin.
The point is not for your Hero to win. It’s to learn something precious. What is the lesson? Also, remember what makes a true Hero. It’s not success. It’s sacrifice. What is he willing to sacrifice? And more importantly, what is he not willing to sacrifice? What is the absolutely most important thing in his life?

For me, this is always the most exciting and interesting part of the story to write. I can’t wait to write the next page, to find out myself how my Hero will act in the end. I learn more about my Hero in the last ten pages of the book than in the previous 300. You’ll find out what that “most important thing” is, more than a thousand pages of backstory will tell you.

Iapetus999’s Top 9 Writer’s Blogs for 2009

2009-12-27T11:16:00.001-08:00

I am proud to present my picks for Best Writing Blogs of 2009. These are nine of my favorite blogs. I chose them for content, interactivity, and because I just like them and the people who maintain them. Congratulations!

Edittorrent
—Always has interesting writing tips and discussion.
The Literary Lab
—A bunch of great bloggers collaborating on advice for writers.
Jordan McCollum
—Excellent writing analysis and web site reviews.
Victoria Mixon
—Outstanding essays on writing. Wish they were still free.
Between Fact and Fiction (Natalie Whipple)
—Great writing advice and inspiration.
The Babbling Flow of a Fledgling Scribbler (Sara McClung)
—Fun site with lots of information
Miss Snark’s First Victim (Authoress)
—Very interactive site focusing on helping unpublished writers.
Elana Johnson
—Another great writer’s site focusing on publication.
Not Enough Words (Merrilee Faber)
—If you need some tough writer love, this is the place.

Honorable Mentions (no particular order).
These are wonderful blogs you should subscribe to!

If your blog isn’t mentioned, it’s either that I forgot or it got lost in the shuffle of my 250+ blog subscriptions (or you haven’t posted in the last 30 days…get blogging!). This is only a tiny, tiny portion of the blogs I enjoy. Please let me know if I’ve mis-linked anything!

Other Lovely non-writing Blogs you should check out:

Tonya’s Brain Squeezin’s
—My wife’s blog. See what’s going on in her brain.
Cliff Mass Weather Blog
—Stormy Pac NW Weather analysis.
Special Sauce in the House
—My sister’s blog. Great for moms!
Etiquette Bitch
—I think the name says it all.
Shallow and Very, Very Single
—Great blogger but an alcoholic trainwreck. Her life is a sitcom.

Looking forward to a great blogging 2010!

2009 Year End Review

2009-12-26T10:55:00.001-08:00

2009 Year End Review

Well, it’s been a very long year for me and my family. One could say that this year was just one disaster after another. Maybe not as bad as 2006 when a tree fell on our house nearly killing us in our sleep, but this year, we never seemed to catch a break.

Let’s see, where do I begin? Oh yeah, it all started when I lost my job in March. Here’s my “self assessment” I wrote in Sept. 2008 which was essentially the “writing on the wall”:

Well, today is self-assessment day.

It's been pretty depressing. I don't think I've done very well since I came here. I really like the place and all the benefits. I like being in the forefront of technology. But let's face it: I've changed. I'm not the guy I was 20 yrs ago out of college, full of energy and ideas. I'm tired and unfocused most of the time.

I have trouble learning new things. I have trouble adapting. I have trouble working things to completion. My manager seems to talk to me every so often about how disappointed he is with my progress. He's very nice but pedantic about it.I took a look at the part of the self assessment that states "list 3 strengths." I couldn't think of one.

So you see, I kinda saw it coming months in advance. Honestly, my heart wasn’t in software anymore. So I cashed in a lot of assets, managed a decent severance, and off I went into my new “career”.

Things got worse from there. On the night of July 4, my wife slipped down some stairs and fractured her leg. Fortunately, insurance covered most of the $60K surgery/hospital stay expenses. Of course this was right on the heels of my own hospital stay for some still unknown stomach ailment. Then for the Pièce de résistance, in November, my wife hit some road debris and rolled the car, totaling it.

On top of this, it seemed like every thing we owned died and needed repair or replacement this year. Ready for this list? In no particular order:

Central Air Conditioner – Needed new fan unit
Central Heater—Needed new core
Truck

A/C died
2 major front-end repairs (a seal and a hub)
Brakes

Computers:

My Netbook died—needed to RTM twice
Kids desktop HDD died
Wife’s laptop fan died

Outside freezer died
Dishwasher died
My car’s stereo is dying (haven’t fixed yet)

And just this weekend, just to show that 2009 isn’t done trying to kill us:

Small under-bar fridge died (waiting for huge ice block inside to melt
My watch band broke

Not to mention the fact that my heel tendonitis has bothered me all year, preventing my from running like I’d like to, and that I’ve gained at least 15lbs this year (which doesn’t help my tendonitis). I think I ran 2 races this year (including my first triathlon). Every time I build my mileage back, the tendonitis returns. I don’t know right now if I’ll ever be able to run more than ~15 miles/week. I need around 25 to get “in shape.”

So. Has anything good happened this year? The kids are doing well. My wife’s foot is recovering. We have a new car and new appliances. No deaths in the immediate family. My sister had a baby. We found some expensive jewelry that had been missing for 7 years. And I think I’m off to a decent start on my writing career.

2009 Writing Review

I spent most of the year working on Dawn’s Rise. It had already gone through a round of revisions, but I wanted to make it publishable. I spent almost six months on this revision. I learned a ton about writing, but the revision didn’t really go anywhere because I was focused more on the details than the big picture. I eventually realized that the whole book needed a rewrite because the entire story structure didn’t work. After spending so much time on it, I put it aside, knowing I had at least another six months of revisions ahead of me.

Meanwhile, I had started working on another WIP I call The Immortals. I wanted to challenge myself to write a Fantasy-type novel, and to give myself something else to work on to take a break from Dawn’s Rise. I wrote out about 80K words on it, but like DR, it kind of petered out because it didn’t have a good story structure. It also is a huge story with a complicated world that would take me months to plot and plan to get to a point where I can proceed again. At 80K, I’m maybe 1/2 way into the story, so already my word count is huge.

In September, I came up with the idea for something I call The Lover’s Journey. When I took the concept and applied it to a woman, I came up with the germ of the idea that became Steam Palace. It’s a complete draft that I am now editing. It’s only 80K words complete, which makes revision much simpler. I think it will top out at 90K when I’m done but for now it’s my main focus.

I’ve also created a few series on my blog about writing. It’s helped me gain insight on my own writing and been well-received by the writing community.

2009 By The Numbers:

Novel WIP’s: 4 (Dawn’s Rise, The Immortals, Steam Palace, sequel to DR)
Other Novel Concepts: 3 (a memoir, a crime novel, and a bizarre dual-world concept)
FridayFlash entries: 4
Blog Entries: 100 (including this one)
Guest Blogs: 2
Blog Followers (on Blogger: 71. Via RSS: approx 90)
Official NaNoWriMo word count (for Steam Palace): 79754
Tweets: Almost 600
Twitter Followers: 234
Reader subscriptions: 258

So I had a lot of crises, but I still managed to crank out a lot of writing this year. I know my writing has improved 100%, but I still have a ways to go before I’m publishable. I’ll outline some 2010 goals in a future post.

Here’s to hoping that 2010 turns out a lot better than 2009.

Official Kissing Day Blogfest!

2009-12-21T13:17:00.001-08:00

Official Kissing Day Blogfest!

See the details and full blogroll of the Official Kissing Day Blogfest.

Here is the end of a scene from Steam Palace, my current WIP. Prudencia has run away from the Harvest Ball after insulting both the Duke and her best friend Lily. She finds herself in an airship hangar, where Thomas Putnam is stuck on a task he should have completed hours ago. He lost the use of his left leg which is why he is struggling. He saved Prudencia from a pack of wolves earlier in the book. Told from Thomas’ POV:

"What, pray tell, are you working on at this late hour?"

Thomas showed her. "A simple task really, but it requires three hands and two strong legs, of which I am missing one each. I have been stumped for needless hours on its execution."

"I'll help you." She hopped over to the open cowl of the control surface. "Show me what to do."

"Miss Stratton, these parts are extremely dirty, and I'm afraid you may ruin your exquisite dress."

"Do you like my dress?"

"You are most stunning, I admit. Far better that our last meeting."

The girl swayed seductively before him, a mischievous smile on her red lips. "Lend me your gloves and jacket, and direct me, and we will accomplish this dreaded task presently. No need for both of us to raise the Duke's ire."

Thomas hesitated, but noted her glare brooked no argument. He pulled off his jacket and gloves, and she donned the ill-fitting gear over her dress. "Are you sure? The gear is fairly heavy."

"My dear Captain. My father impressed in me the need to balance both mind and body. I assure you I am in top physical condition, and able to handle a simple gear." The matter was settled.

Thomas grabbed his tools and maneuvered himself into position. Prudencia hoisted the gear, grunting and straining, and placed it upon its cog. Thomas tightened the bolts while she held it in place, his face below hers looking up past her bosom. At his signal, Prudencia released the gear and it fell into place, and Thomas closed and latched the cowling. "Yes, yes, finally!"

Prudencia's face had turned red with effort, and her breath drew quick. He turned to her to slap her hand as he would a colleague, but as he drew his hand back she launched herself in his arms again, possibly mistaking his reach for a hug.

She clung to him for a few moments, suffering some emotion he knew not what, yet he had no inclination to break the hold. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and dilated, her lips parted. He felt his mouth drawn to hers, when a foreign-tinged voice interrupted them.

"Ah, das schwein!"

Please no critiques…this is strictly first-draft material. Would they have kissed if they weren’t interrupted? Well, this is Victorian-era attitudes, so probably not. The point is that they wanted to… :)

Since this may be my last blog this week, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Happy Holidays!

Story Structure Part IX: The Reward

2009-12-21T10:50:00.001-08:00

This is the ninth in a series of posts talking about the story structure known as “The Hero’s Journey.” I’m borrowing heavily from “The Writer’s Journey: A Mythical Structure for Writers 3rd Edition” by Christopher Vogler. This is my interpretation of it, and I’ve tried to highlight some pitfalls I see writers falling into. Click here to review other installments of Story Structure.

Note About “Avatar”

If you want a great example of the Mythical Hero’s Journey, look no further than Avatar. It contains all the elements of The Hero’s Journey. A hero starts out with a problem: he’s crippled and wants to be made whole (Ordinary World). He has an opportunity to become something called an “Avatar” which is a replica of the native Na’vi which he can use to infiltrate their world (The Call). He scoffs at what the scientists are trying to do with the Na’vi (Refusal) but the Head Scientist (Mentor) convinces him to participate. On a scientific mission he is separated from the other avatars and must survive a night in the strange world (Crossing the Threshold).

I’ll let you work out the rest. SEE THE MOVIE! NOW!! In 3D if you can afford it.

The Reward

This is probably biggest misnomer of the bunch. Also known as “Seizing the Sword,” The Reward is the final portion of Act II. After facing a number of Tests and engaging the Enemy, the Hero comes away with new knowledge and determination. He’s seen the true face of the Enemy, faced Death, and now must turn back home. The basic concept is that the Hero has fought his way to the Dragon’s Lair and stolen the Crystal Chalice. It’s a small victory, but the Hero leaves with the knowledge that he has faced the Enemy and lived. He also know that the Dragon has awakened, and will be coming after him with everything it has. I call it a “misnomer” because it sounds like something positive and hopeful but many times it’s a dark realization that the battle isn’t over and that greater challenges lie ahead. “Seizing the Sword” is a better name, because it reflects the Hero’s determination to see the conflict out to the bitter end, for better or worse.

Now on to our Benchwarming Quarterback. His parents are in the hospital after a wreck. His girlfriend is unfaithful. The coach hates him. The other players hate him. His father is on life-support. WTF? “There’s nothing we can do but wait,” says his mother. “And pray.” He goes to see his father, tubes sticking everywhere, machines chirping and purring. Everything he’s done in his life flashes before him. All his failures, all his disappointments, all his betrayals of his father’s love. He faces the cold hard truth about his life.
(I smudged the image’s face to protect the innocent).

“I want to be the son you wanted,” he tells his father. “I want to prove to you I’m worthy, that I can be a man. If this is your last moment on Earth, I want to do something for you, to show how much I love you.” He rises, and walks to the waiting room. “Come on, we’re going,” he snaps at the girlfriend. “We have a game to win.” He has Seized the Sword. He is determined for once in his life to be the man his father wants him to be. His mother begs him to stay, but he must do this. It’s as if his father’s life rides on the outcome of this game. His Reward is the strength to do what he must, the self-determination to carry on despite the incredible odds, and the knowledge that he himself is willing to face death to accomplish his goals. We see him turning into the Hero before our eyes, but his task is daunting, and his goals seem further away than ever.

The Reward Goals

The boy becomes a man. The Hero takes responsibility for his life. He is ready to take on the world.
The Hero has conquered the Special World. He’s now a master of the domain. He has gone where no man has gone before.
The Hero knows what he must do to prevail in the end. He’s made his choice and will see it through.
The Enemy is awakened and pissed off. There is no more room to compromise or walk away. The Hero is in it to win it.

Non-Goals

Remember, this is not the final transformation. There is still one more crucial lesson to be learned, one final test to pass.
The Enemy has been hurt, but not defeated. The Reward is also the knowledge that the Enemy will regroup stronger than ever.
The Reward is a Pyrrhic victory more often than not. And short lived.
The Reward is not the achievement of the Hero’s original goal. Nothing is resolved at this point.

What is The Reward in Avatar? There are actually two Rewards. Bonus for anyone who knows both (or are there more?) Try not to spoil anything ;)

The GS Virus - #FridayFlash Fiction

2009-12-18T08:47:00.001-08:00

WARNING - MATURE CONTENT

The GS Virus

I’m sure you’ve read many stories about the families affected by the GS Virus. I’m not going to get into the causes or assign blame. Here’s our story, and I hope it helps other families deal with this affliction. It’s really not the end of the world.

It started a few days after receiving our annual flu vaccination. She noticed it first, an unusual swelling of her breasts and a cracking of her voice. Then I started having symptoms: excessive hair growth and a strengthening of my muscles. I didn’t mind the muscles so much—I’d been working out a lot lately. I felt stronger and faster than ever before.

Over the next few days the symptoms increased, just as news reports started relaying the impossible. Her hair started falling out, she grew weaker, and our almost non-existent sex life completely died. Like many couples, we had grown apart over the years, and sex was but an afterthought. Our children became frightened of the changes, since Mommy and Daddy didn’t look the same anymore. We had been wanting to spend more time with them, but our careers had consumed us, me in my fashion marketing gig and she spending half the year on the road as a sportscaster. Now with this affliction taking over, could we ever be a family again?

The thing that disturbed me the most at this point wasn’t the physical changes. It was the mood swings. I felt angry, hostile. I never really was the assertive type but suddenly I wanted to be in control, whereas she became clingy, frightened, needing constant comfort and attention. I just wanted to deal with things and fix them, not just talk about it. For instance, I looked at my job in a whole new light. Why wasn’t I being promoted? Was my pay adequate? She suddenly wanted to spend time with the kids, read romance books and watch chick flicks, and knit for some reason. I got into sports for like the first time ever. I even watched Pro Wrestling with their choreographed violence and sexual overtures. It rocked! This wasn’t me. This wasn’t her either. We had known each other for ten years, and suddenly everything started to change.

Then came the “final stage” of the infection. We’d heard about it and dreaded it. We sent the kids off to my sister’s. She hadn’t contracted the disease, and the kids had received the safe nasal inoculation. For days, we lay in bed while the virus ravaged our bodies. We followed the advice: drink plenty of fruit juice and protein bars. The pain ranged from intolerable itching to convulsive spasms somewhat akin to childbirth. We had to change the sheets about ten times from all the shedding. Yuck. That last night we held each other in the throes of agony, trying to remember that all this would pass, and we could resume our lives—albeit altered.

We woke to a new day. We looked at each other, naked in bed. I have to admit, I’ve never looked at a woman that way before. I felt things I never had before, experienced desires I’d never imagined. We appeared little like our old selves. GS also has the side affect of de-aging you, taking ten years off, so I studied her as if it was the first time had we ever met. I ran my hand down her soft flank, over her breasts, across her lips. She sighed, looking up at me with her dark eyes, button nose, and rich red lips. I fell in love with those delicate features from that first moment. I had never felt this way about my spouse before.

We made love like it was our first time, exploring each other, learning about our new bodies, figuring out how it all worked. Don’t get creeped out, our brains had been changed as well, and it felt completely natural by this point. I know for most couples this was the hardest thing, something you either accept or don’t, but once we got the hang of it, it was incredible. I admit I feel jealous of her, since she quickly found the knack of multiple orgasms. Everything worked as advertised.

Unfortunately, nothing fit. Our clothes, I mean. I can’t imagine all you single people out there, what a nightmare. So it was sweatpants and sweatshirts until we could go to the massive swap-outs that sprang up everywhere.

The kids—well, they were a little more than freaked out. We didn’t look like their mother and father anymore. We had prepared them as best we could. She promised she would still take them to baseball and hockey games, and I would be there for them when they’re hurt or need to talk, but we knew it would be hard. She kissed and hugged them a lot, and I patted them on the back. The secret is really just to love them, but no one is ever unaffected by this. I know they miss us they way we used to be. It took a while but they’ve come around.

So now, a year later, I look back on it, and I see it all worked out for the best. I got not one but two promotions, she decided to quit her job to stay home and take care of the kids, and our sex life—it’s better than ever! We just know exactly what the other wants and needs. It’s like we wiped the slate clean and started over from scratch. I just want to say I love my husband—I mean my wife (still getting used to that even after a year)—very much, and I really hope things stay this way. In a way, I’m grateful that we caught the GenderSwitch Virus, because it’s brought our family together more than I ever thought possible. But sometimes, I still miss my vagina. Though I really do like the ability to pee standing up!

Next time: “Pregnancy After GS”—he-now-she can do it!

Story Structure Part VIII: The Ordeal

2009-12-14T10:02:00.001-08:00

This is the eighth in a series of posts talking about the story structure known as “The Hero’s Journey.” I’m borrowing heavily from “The Writer’s Journey: A Mythical Structure for Writers 3rd Edition” by Christopher Vogler. This is my interpretation of it, and I’ve tried to highlight some pitfalls I see writers falling into. Click here to review other installments of Story Structure.

The Ordeal

This is it. This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Finally, our Hero confronts the Enemy. He’s been trained, he’s gathered his Allies, but is it enough? No, it isn’t. Nothing that’s come before can prepare him for this moment. He’s deep in the Enemy’s lair, and must rely on his own wits and judgment to make it through. Now this isn’t the final confrontation, but it’s the first major exchange with the Enemy. The Villain is cunning and smart. He knows the lay of the land. He has some objectives too—to turn the Hero to his side, to corrupt the Hero, to see if he can win an easy victory. It becomes clear that the Enemy represents everything the Hero hates, especially about himself. His own fears, his own weaknesses. The Enemy is in his head almost, exploiting every weakness of the Hero and turning him into a gibbering mass of goo.

This is the scene you wanted to write since you came up with idea for the story. Luke vs. Darth Vader. Dorothy vs the Wicked Witch. The hospital scene where Adrian tells Rocky to “Win.” This is the final test before your Hero is allowed to start the long road home. This is when the train jumps the rails, the troops retreat, the police close in, the wife is in bed with someone else, and everything the Hero ever knew about himself is put into question. He’s no longer the innocent traveler to this Special World, he’s a fully involved participant, and his goals seem further away than ever. He’s seen the face of the Enemy and it’s bad. Who talked him into this misadventure anyways?

Let’s go back to our Benchwarming-now-playing Quarterback. It’s halftime. Wait—what? The Ordeal isn’t on the field? WTF? Yes. Because he’s confronting his true Enemies—the Head Coach and the starting Quarterback. The starter is feeling better. The Head Coach wants him back in. But wait—there’s more. Our QB gets a phone call. His parents have been in a bad wreck on the way to the game, he needs to leave right away, which Coach says means he’s off the team. Forever. Everything seems to be falling apart. In addition, he finds out the Starting QB is the father of his girlfriend’s baby. Everything seems to be conspiring to destroy him. This is his last chance to prove himself, to become a winner, but now it looks like everything’s been cut short. He leaves the game humiliated, having to bum a ride from this unfaithful girlfriend to the hospital (which is conveniently a minute away). The opposing players mock him on the way off the field.

Now the Ordeal turns to this awkward car ride. The girlfriend is distraught and apologetic, almost unable to drive. She never meant it to happen, it wasn’t consensual, she doesn’t know what to do. His mind is consumed with fear about his parents, disappointment that he can’t finish the game, and bitterness that this woman and the Starter hurt him. Our Hero’s story seems to be over before it even started. He’ll never amount to anything. He’s consumed with self-doubt and self-loathing. The world is collapsing around him. Everything he’s ever feared about himself seems to be coming true. He can’t play football. He can’t be loved. And Death lurks right around the corner. Depressing, isn’t it? Why the heck did I write this book??

The Ordeal Goals

The Hero must face Death. In the example above, it’s the possible death of his parents coupled with the death of his football career.
The Hero takes on the Enemy. And loses. Badly. This is far harder than anything your Hero has faced up until now.
Your Hero’s worst fears must be realized. From now through the end of Act III, your Hero is in a crucible of fire. He’ll be tested beyond everything that ever happened before.
Allies drop like flies. Enemies grow strong and multiply. This is a hard time for everyone.
Make it clear what the ultimate stakes are: Life and Death. Everything and everyone the Hero cares about must be placed in jeopardy.
Keep Raising the Stakes, and keep the Hero focused on his Goals, even if he’s ready to give up. Something good is right around the corner.

Non Goals

Your Hero does not defeat the Enemy. He may wound the Enemy, he certainly antagonizes him, and sometimes steals something important from him. We’ll talk about this in the next installment.
Don’t commit your Hero to the fight. He may come away from this Ordeal battered and bruised and ready to go home. This was far more than he bargained for, and he may want more. Too bad, he’ll learn soon enough that all roads home lie through the Enemy.
Don’t give your Hero any easy ways out. Every choice is bad. Every option leads to conflict. But definitely give him choices. He’s still in charge of his destiny. He is still driven by Inner and Outer Goals.

This is definitely a rough time for the Hero. By the end of the Ordeal, he’ll have everything he needs to prevail in the end. He just may not know it yet.

Christmas Sucks - #FridayFlash

2009-12-11T09:12:00.001-08:00

Christmas Sucks

Every Christmas, it would happen. We’d place our presents under the tree, we’d settle down for our long winter nap, and come morning—it was all gone. The presents. The tree. The cookies and milk. All gone. Like the Grinch stuffed them up the chimney to his lair high in the mountains. The police were baffled, our neighbors clueless, and my family distraught.

This year, I was determined. I sat at the ready, cradling my shiny new Remington 870 Express on my lap. My wife snored on the couch as the wall clock ticked inexorably towards midnight. My eyes drooped but I choked down another Red Bull, willing myself to stay awake.

I heard a jingling from outside. This was it—go time! I called to Martha, “911! 911!” I rushed through the door, waving my weapon before me. An old lady walking her dog screamed and ran, the jingling coming from the dog’s Christmas collar.

“False alarm,” I called back to the house. “Martha? Hello?”

No response. I sprinted back in, my shoes slipping on the ice, the gun almost wrenched from my grasp. The room was empty. No tree. No presents. NO WIFE.

In the chimney, I saw movement. My wife’s foot! I dove for it, dropping the gun, banging my elbows on the mantle. My hands closed on the appendage which rose up the chimney. I felt my body lifted, sucked up the chimney like a dust up a vacuum. I felt weightless, surrounding by complete blackness, only the feel of my wife’s foot grounding me to reality.

We were falling. I pulled Martha close to me as we tumbled through the air. A landscape lit up, full of shiny red and green objects. We impacted, wrapping paper and toys and Christmas trees softening our blow. We swam back up through the detritus and broke the surface.

“I tried to stop it!” she cried, her eyes wide, glancing at the sea of Christmas paraphernalia that stretched as far as the eye can see.

Cascades of trees and presents tumbled from the sky. “We need to find somewhere safe.”

We pulled ourselves on top of the mess. I spotted something in the far distance, some kind of mound. “This way. Be careful.”

Time lost meaning in this place of lost toys. We subsided on fruit cake and cheese platters, specialty cocktails and piles of cookies. It might have been days or hours, but we finally reached the mound, a towering fortress composed of candy and Legos.

We found no entrance, but I had armed myself with a pack full of battery-powered tools. We went to work on the walls of the fortress. Some interminable time later, we broke through.

We crawled through the structure which oozed of chocolate and tinsel. Red ropes blocked our path but I sliced through with my reciprocating saw. Voices carried to us. Our winding path opened up into some kind of large chamber, where old men in red and white uniforms huddled around large-screen computer monitors, conversing on headphones. A large wall screen displayed a countdown: 59 minutes, 23 seconds and counting—to what I had no clue.

“Isn’t that your father,” gasped Martha, grasping my wrist.

Impossible. My father passed away years ago. “Come on, follow me.”

We hid behind a column while I threw sugar plums at the man. He pulled off his headset and looked around. We hid. He rose to investigate the source of the fruit. I grabbed him, holding my hand over his mouth. He struggled, but we dragged him down the hallway.

“Were we followed?” My wife shook her head. I let go of the man and faced him. “What the hell is going on here?”

“Bob?” he said quietly, raising his hand towards my face. I knocked it away.

“I don’t know who you are, but I want to know exactly what this place is, right now!”

The man downcast his eyes. “We’re—reversing Christmas. I’m so sorry, Bob. You’ve been a test subject for a number of years. Christmas, it’s—it’s lost its spirit, its purpose. We were inspired by Dr. Seuss, so we’ve been taking it away.”

“What??” I felt like slapping this man. “Are you really my father?”

He nodded. He didn’t look like my father, not like the shriveled old man I remember with tubes stuck everywhere. “Dad?”

“I’m so sorry, Bob, but these orders come from up above. The Big Guy. This year, Christmas is cancelled. Forever.”

My wife spoke. “The children. What about the children? Say this isn’t so.”

My father shook his head.

“Where the hell are we,” I demanded.

“I guess you could call this the North Pole. We use space-time portals to open the chimneys. We direct robotic angels to snatch the goods. You’ll be better off without those presents. It’s His Will.”

“Over my dead body,” I cried. “Martha, wait here, don’t let him leave. I’ll be back.”

I remembered certain packages along the way. Long, thin, heavy packages. Guns. Thank God people still gifted guns. I returned with an armful, and raced into the chamber, riddling the ceiling with bullets.

“Listen to me,” I screamed, the assorted men rising from their seats. “There will be no more stealing of Christmas. I want all of you to sit back on your consoles, and return every present, or I waste this entire building.” For emphasis I aimed a shotgun and blew apart a monitor.

Those men got busy in a hurry. As the clock ticked down, my outside camera showed the huge sea of Christmas debris sagging, sucked away back to their sources. Just as the clock hit zero, bolts of electricity filled the air, accumulating right in front of me. A Voice spoke from the dazzling light.

“Who dares reverse my orders,” thundered a Voice in a divine chorus of angels.

I squinted at the retina-shriveling light. “It is I! You have no right to steal Christmas!”

“And who the hell do you think you are?”

Something dawned on me. “I’m frickin’ Santa Claus! Now get the hell out of my workshop, we have work to do!”

The electricity collapsed into a point and disappeared. My wife slid her hand into mine.

“Well, Mrs. Claus, you ready to make Christmas happen,” I asked her.

“Just as long as we’re back in time to open presents.”

“Okay, you! Work the Nintendos! You, on the crappy sweaters.”

Yes, Christmas would never suck again, now that I was in charge.

Guest Post on The Literary Lab!

2009-12-10T10:01:00.001-08:00

Today I have a guest post up on The Literary Lab! Go check it out!

Thanks to Lady Glamis for inviting me ;)

This is a reprint of a previous post from this blog.