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The Problem with Problems

Dayna — Thu, 23 May 2013 16:42:39 +0000

Graphic Design: Unknown

Riddle Me This

Why is a math book sad? This simple riddle is popular with many eight year old kids but the answer may be more applicable to our lives than we think: “Because it has a lot of problems”.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed and bombarded on every side with problems? Money problems, family problems, out of work problems, and relationship problems are just a few of the kind of problems I am talking about. Living in the middle of these kinds of storms is difficult. They can sap our hope and our strength if we let them. We can begin to look at all the problems and forget to look to God, where our help comes from. (Psalms 121:1-2)

Perspective is a huge player in our lives here. The cup half full-half empty view of life can influence us more than we know, but more importantly we need to look to three areas of our lives and make sure they are lined up where they need to be, so that when problems come, (and they will) we are in a position to not only endure, but to overcome them.

“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]“ John 16:33 AMP

Game Changers

I used to think and say “I can never get ahead” or “If it isn’t one thing it’s another” These attitudes were like links in a chain of bondage- they kept me from growing in faith, in relationship with God and kept me in a perpetual state of victimization. One day, God unplugged my ears, and I began to hear the kinds of things I was saying in a new way and I began to get angry every time I heard myself say them.

I began evaluating my life- not the problems in it, but my attitude and reactions to the problems when they came. God began to show me three things that changed my life, and can change your’s too.

1) Head

“Where the head goes, the body will follow” – any wrestling coach – any where – ever. (Tweet That)

Our minds are powerful things. Scientists have studied the power of positive thinking and doctors even encourage cancer patients to visualize and think about their cancer cells’ annihilation as they go through treatment. There is a direct correlation between how we think about a problem and how we handle a problem. This is why the Word is full of scriptures about renewing our mind.

Romans 12:2
Philippians 4:8
2 Corinthians 4:16
Ephesians 4:23
Philippians 2:5

These scriptures address a key area we have to take on if we are ever going to change our perspective and our lives. Our minds should be focused on what the Lord says about us, about problems, about relationships, about work, about every aspect of our lives. The Word of God is God. (John 1:1) Memorizing the word, meditating on the word, getting it into your head will begin to help you think more clearly than you ever have before. A Christian without the Word is like a gun without bullets- useless.

“(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 KJV

2) Heart

Our emotions can get the better of us. They can bypass an otherwise sound mind and become motivators in ways nothing else can. Why do you think the police call some things “crimes of passion”? God given emotion is a good thing. After all, we are made in His image and that includes our emotions. God loves us (John 3:16) God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:4-5) and God grieves (Genesis 6:6, John 11:35). But God is perfect, and He doesn’t let His emotions run away from Him. We do. Keeping our emotions in balance is the key.

This is hard for us all – not just women- and men know it, so no cop outs here. When we let our feelings become the thing we focus on rather than focusing on God we become navel gazers. Our heads are bent down staring into a belly button rather than keeping us headed toward a solution. (Where the head goes, so goes the body!)

Attitudes also reside in the heart.

Photo Credit: Stephanie May Edits by: Dayna Bickham

If our attitude is always sour, and we constantly react as a victim, we will never walk in freedom. The meditation of our heart is key. Our attitudes are cultivated over time, and changing them takes time. We are being made into new creatures. (2 Corinthians 5:17) Like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly- it takes a process.

3) Feet

Sometimes the solution to our problems is positional rather than circumstantial. This means we got into the mess on our own, just by being in the wrong place or doing the wrong things. Been there, done that. We are not always the brightest bulbs in the box – at least, I’m not. The solution to this is both simple and difficult: wisdom.

Wisdom comes through a few ways: we learn it through:

Instruction – by listening to and following the advice of someone who knows better (Proverbs 2:1-3)
Observation – by watching what works and doesn’t work for others (Matthew 6:26)
Experience – by living through our mistakes and learning from them (Job 32:7)

I do not know about you, but I have had more of that last one than I care to admit! But there is a way that is superior to all others: ask the Lord for it.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5 NIV

In order to live our best lives now, we need to approach life with as much wisdom as we can garner, and apply it to every part of our lives. When problems come, (John 16:33) if wisdom is present, freedom follows.

An Honest Confession

I do not get these things right all the time. I have to remind myself constantly of these principles. God deals with me as He does with you. The reason I write this down now is so that we all might examine our lives and look at ourselves with new perspective. Honest evaluation can kick start change like nothing else. I have seen it in others, and I have seen it in me. The thing I have learned above all is this:

If my life is full of problems, the problem may not be the problem, the problem may be me! (Tweet That)

My hope is that today I will get it more right than I did yesterday and rely on God more and myself less. This, above all, will go a long way in helping me to overcome.

Question of the Day

If you have a bad attitude about something, what is one thing you do to change it? (Leave your answer below)

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The Cure for Zombies

Dayna — Tue, 21 May 2013 15:14:30 +0000

Choked by a Lie

As kids, when we think about the future, we think that we will have the answers to all of our problems.

I believed that somehow, the insecurities, fears, and inadequacies that we feel as teens will suddenly melt away as we mature. Little did we realize that unless we deal with the root of those issues head on, we essentially walk around as adults with our teenage angst caged up in our brains screaming at us.

Or at least I did.

I never really felt secure as a teen. My parents are good people. and I think they eventually became awesome parents to my siblings, but there was a disconnect with me. It is part of the reason I was sent to live with other family when I was seventeen. My parents did not have the tools they needed to deal with a headstrong, hurting, and lashing out teen. I do not blame them – they were young. I understand them. Especially now that I have a teen. But my experiences as a kid and teen left me feeling inadequate. In some cases those experiences left me with more than a bad opinion of myself and who I was.

I was too loud. I was too opinionated. I wasn’t pretty enough, or smart enough, or sweet enough. I was never enough.

Partly because of my personality and partly because of the “John Wayne” style of parenting my dad relied on so heavily, I had little fear when it came to things like public speaking, acting, singing, trying new things, going new places, or meeting new people. I am so grateful for that. Yet, behind the bravado were a ton of fears. I was insecure and I used my loudness and my opinion as weapons towards people whenever I thought they saw even a hint of my weaknesses. Often, I used it against my family. Hurting people, after all, hurt people.

Like a wounded animal I lashed out at people in order to survive. I even approached my relationship with God that way. No wonder, after years of growing up in the church, I walked away from my relationship with God. It was dysfunctional and the dysfunction was all on my end.

Photo Credit: Unknown

Only recently did I realize that I was living my life as a victim. I was still bound by the lies that I was not enough. I was still struggling with what I call “performance-based” worth. If I can only do enough, be good enough, shine enough, then I would feel loved – then I would be worthy of that love. I thought that I would feel different as an adult. The truth is, I felt worse. Like a thistle chokes out the life of another plant, I was dying without living because I was bound in the chains of a victim mentality. I needed to be set free.

Freedom for Freedom Sake

Galatians 5:1 says “Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.” (The Message)

Christ came to free us. My story is mine, and it is pretty mild compared to some, but the results of the lies in my life are the same as anyone else’s: death. If we keep believing the lies that we aren’t enough, that we are inadequate or unworthy of real honest love, then we are not living. We are dead.

Artist Unknown.

Emotionally crippled zombies on the inside, we act as if we have it all together, but in reality we wander around infecting others with the same poison that infected us. (Tweet That)

Only when we submit to Christ, and accept that He accomplished our freedom once and for all on the cross do we really begin to understand what life can be. What he did, broke every chain at the source. We are the ones who hold onto the other end. Let it go. Come back to life.

God chased us through history and time and space because He loves us beyond measure. The past will not change. But God can use it for our good and His glory. (Romans 8:28)

There are three things that can begin our journey to freedom:

1) Salvation – If you do not know who Jesus is or why you should know Him, let me tell you about him. More than just a cuss word, the name of Jesus is holy, because He is the son of God. Sacrificed for you and I, he chose death so we could have life. He is the culmination of God’s plan for our redemption. Because God loves you, He made a way for you to get close to Him. No one is perfect- we have all got things in our lives (sins) that we’d rather weren’t there. But the only thing that can change who we are, is Jesus. When we call on Him and invite Him into our lives, we become new creatures. (This becoming new is both instantaneous and a process) Ask God to come into your life now, and know that as you do, your life will never be the same.

2) Honesty – We all view our past with some kind of bias. It is human nature. But as we are honest with our selves, and as the Holy Spirit reveals the truth through the Word of God, we have the opportunity to know and embrace the truth. Truth does not set you free, but the truth YOU KNOW can set you free. You have to choose to believe it. Replace the lies that have held you in bondage for so long with the truth of God’s love and His word.

3) Application – You now know the truth, but now you have to apply it. Like a topical salve you have to apply it liberally to get relief from what ails you. You are the righteousness of God in Christ. You are free for freedom’s sake. God loves you and wants you to have a rich full life in Him. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27 KJV)

You can begin now. No matter where you are, or what your hurt is, God loves you and wants to set you free. You are His, set apart, and freedom is waiting.

Question of the Day:

What insecurities do you battle? (Leave your comment below.- I want to talk with you!)

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Worship Time – Ten Thousand Reasons

Dayna — Sat, 18 May 2013 18:08:25 +0000

Worship

There is something supremely divine in the presence of a living God. Worship, beautiful and sincere changes the very atmosphere around us.

I challenge you now, stir up your soul, though it may not want to, though you may not feel like it, sing- like never before. If the notes are sour, or if they are pristine, as long as they are sincere, they will be heard.

The tears may fall, or a laugh may bubble up- let them come. Let your heart be bared before a God who created you and has plans just for you. Sing to the God who loves you – no matter how you feel about Him, He has never stopped loving you.

Let your heart leap in your chest, enter into the presence of the Most High and sing to your Dad. Crawl into His lap and rest against His goodness.

10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord) (Click the Link to Hear Worship Music – this will open in a new window)

Written By Jonas Myrin and Matt Redman Performed by Matt Redman

Lyrics:

Chorus 1

Bless the Lord O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I’ll worship Your holy name

Verse 1

The sun comes up it’s a new day dawning

It’s time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

Verse 2

You’re rich in love and You’re slow to anger

Your name is great and Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness I will keep on singing

Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Verse 3

And on that day when my strength is failing

The end draws near and my time has come

Still my soul will sing Your praise unending

Ten thousand years and then forevermore

(ENDING)

Worship Your holy name

Lord I’ll worship Your holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I’ll worship Your holy name

Worship Your holy name

The Kid Conundrum

Dayna — Wed, 15 May 2013 15:46:12 +0000

CCL Photo Credit Unknown

The Meat in the Parenting Sandwich

Sandwiched between Mother’s Day, graduations and Father’s Day is the ultimate unspoken: kids. They are the blessings that fill up and take over our lives for the better part of at least two decades. Our lives are devoted to nurturing them, developing them, and parenting them. There are countless books on how to raise them right, how to fix it when it has gone wrong and how to overcome our issues as adults because somehow we slid by those first two.

Families are in crisis. I won’t get into the causes, or speculate on the geo-political impact of the loss of the nuclear family. I just want to talk about our heart: because regardless of how you came about having your kids, or who you are raising them with or without right now, we all want the best for our kids.

Parenting Standards

Whether you think you live by a set of parenting standards or not, you do. Everyone lives by a set of standards. The question is are we intentional with them? In the corporate world, standard business practices take time to develop. Even churches have policies and procedures they follow. These standards keep boundaries in place, are beneficial for the corporation, the employee and the client. In the church world it keeps everyone on an even keel and protects both the church and the people who go there. In a family, parenting standards allow us an opportunity to approach raising a family with intention. It creates structure and creates natural boundaries for problem solving, handling conflict, discipline and much more.

I used to work closely with members of Child Protective Services and because I am still friends with a few women who actively work in our state system I hear about “minimum standards”.

provide food
provide shelter
provide weather appropriate clothing
provide emotional physical and mental support
provide education
provide medical treatment when necessary
(in some states) provide a drug-free environment
protect from emotional, mental and physical harm

These are of course good things, but when first dreamed of our children was the first thing out of your mouth, “I want the minimum for my kids!”? More than likely – no.

Raising the Bar

We want the best for our kids, and sometimes the best is to let them try on their own. Sometimes the best is to let them fail and then learn from their mistakes. Sometimes the best for them is to say no when all we want to do is say yes.

So how can we raise the bar? How can we be the best parents we can be? We can raise the bar in our response to them. Patience, love, and talking to our kids instead of at our kids is a great place to start. But there are other great ways we can up our game to be better, more effective parents.

I want to hear what you think. What habits do you practice at home that help elevate your parenting beyond the minimum? What are some helpful tips you would like to give other parents? Is there an area you need advice in? (I am the parent of 2 teens – I know I need advice often.) Sometimes we need community for support and yes, validation as parents. I want to foster that community here. So share your thoughts below by leaving a comment and let the fun begin.

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Confessions of a Know-It-All

Dayna — Mon, 13 May 2013 05:45:16 +0000

Artist: Jenny Morgan Work: Melancholy Mood Creative Commons License

It is About to Get Real

Lately I have been struggling a little bit. I have seemed more “out of sorts” than usual and kind of put on hold all the things I had been working on or towards.

I was (back)sliding into a funk that has foiled my plans and goals on numerous occasions in the past. This is a pattern for me and honestly it sucks.

Perhaps you know what I am talking about? That melancholy mindset says “Why bother?” or “I don’t feel like it today”. Today turns into tomorrow, and then that turns into a week and soon a month has gone by and I have barely put any effort into anything and my work suffers and in turn – so do you- my readers.

I honestly am a little down on my writing right now. I have started so many blog posts, but none seem right, or the words just do not seem to flow, and somewhere in the middle of it all there is a little voice saying- “Just give it up. No one really cares.”

I have only a small following here. There are only a few people, (mostly friends) who even read what I have to say, so since I could do this on my Facebook page or in an email, why am I still typing away? Why do I continue to rack my brain for ideas to write about? Why do I keep trying?

I Don’t Know

I have been called a know-it-all on more than one occasion Recently someone implied I was condescending because of this trait. Ouch and probably sometimes true. But the truth is – I do not always know.

Today I do not have the answer to these questions. Today I barely have enough fortitude to keep typing. Today I will just do what I know because I know faithfulness is important.

I know that commitment does not always look pretty. I know that giving in to the melancholy is the first step to giving up and I will no longer be a quitter.

Big girl panties- check, Boot straps – yep. Pulling both on and not backing down. (Tweet That)

Since I moved over to the new blog I have felt a little lost, a little overwhelmed and a little disjointed. I am still not sure what this is supposed to be. But Rome, as they say, was not built in a day. I do not have to know. I can just let it unfold.

I can just continue to hone my craft and practice my calling and let the Lord develop this blog – one post at a time.

This rambling is probably the worst idea in blogging history. After all, the experts say have three points, be clear, make the post about your audience, and more stuff this post is not, but I have to take this moment and just let my hair down a bit.

We all need a moment to take stock, to breathe, and to be raw and real. (Tweet That)

Sometimes, I am as clueless as the next girl. Sometimes, I have no idea what I am doing or where I am headed. The three important things to remember are :

1) Keep focused on relationship with God

2) Allow myself the room to flounder- even to fail. There may be a better lesson there than in a success.

3) Remember that my feelings have not changed God’s mind about who I am, what He has for me, or where He wants to send me.

I am sorry this post isn’t more clever or even more polished. I just do not have the energy for either right now and I wanted you to know I am still here- struggling- but here.

Question of the Day

Do you ever have to fight the “funk”? How do you do it?

Four Keys to Parenting with Purpose

Dayna — Wed, 08 May 2013 15:39:59 +0000

Photo Credit:L Unknown

The Story of the Proud Papa

“Papa, I made this for you.” Chubby hands, dirty from play, held a 11 X 8.5 piece of construction paper. Big green eyes stared up at him expectantly as he waited to hear from his father. “Son, this is beautiful. You are a great artist!” With pride, and a ton of love, the dad turns to the fridge, and places the picture in a place of honor. The child feels loved and secure. He turns and runs outside to play as his dad looks on.

The Honest Truth

If this boy is anything like most kids, the art was nothing of note. It was not the scribbles on the page the father was admiring, but the offering of love the child gave. Our Heavenly Father is similar. There is not much we can do to impress the designer and creator of the Universe, but the offering of our best to Him is something He appreciates. He sees our hearts behind the gift, and He loves us whether that gift is great or not.

The Parenting Pickle

“They” say that in order to be an expert in something, you need 10,000 hours of hands-on experience in that area. I have been parenting now for 149,019 plus hours and I still sometimes feel completely clueless. Talking to other parents I get the impression we all struggle with the question “Am I doing this (parenting) right?”

I cannot answer that question directly, but remember the adage “the proof is in the pudding”? Well, the proof is in the kid, and sometimes, my kids are a mess. Just like I am a mess.

The good news is that we have a great example in our Heavenly Father. He loves us even in the midst of our mess.

So how do we know if we are getting it right? How do we parent to the best of our ability and grow well-adjusted, and productive adults? I believe there are four ways we can make strides in the parenting department and create great relationships that develop outstanding results.

Maintaining Relationship- Someone once told me “rules without relationship breed rebellion” and they were right. Relationship is where we find security. In a relationship we see the other person for who they are, what struggles they have and we love them anyway. If we forget that we are made to love one another, and instead act like prison wardens, we get an unhappy youth population with little respect and tons of rebellion.
Communication - This goes beyond talking. This delves into love languages. Communicate the way your kid hears love. I have one that loves physical touch and one that loves gifts. Both hear love in quality time. Make sure you use every moment with your kid as a moment to love. In big ways and in small, these all go much farther than you think.
Creativity - Your child is a rapidly evolving human, who in the short time span of a few years, will be entering adulthood. Keeping up with the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of our children can be draining. One way to combat this is with creativity. You may hear advice about keeping your marriage “fresh” and use creative ways (a picnic, doing the dishes for your wife, or surprising him with a just because gift) to maintain a healthy bond with your spouse, but the same can be true about our children too. Children can feel lost, abandoned, and rejected just as a spouse can. Finding small ways to creatively include them in your every day life is one way to keep your relationship healthy.
Mentoring- This is a crutial step to parenting. Mentoring is a process that allows us as parents to model, then train our children to be adults. It is a slow process, but has rich rewards. More than teaching your child a skill, it is enabling your child to learn by trial and error in a safe environment and with the support of people who love him. He will not get this chance in the world. You are his best bet on learning how to be his best self.

Our kids will get on our nerves, make us angry, make us laugh, keep us in tears, and on our knees before God like no one else can. (Tweet That)

The key is loving them trough all of it. As long as a child, (this includes teens) knows we love them, the rest will come. Parent with purpose and remember that grace goes a long way!

Question of the Day

What is a creative way you showed love to your child? Share your comments below.

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Three Ways to Win the Emotional Battle

Dayna — Mon, 06 May 2013 13:45:40 +0000

Photo Credit Unknown Creative Commons

The Frailty of Our Humanity

I am a take charge and fix it kind of person. I like control. The thing is, there is not much in life that is in our control. Our families are comprised of people who all have free will. Our jobs are filled with people who do not process information the same as we do. The people at the grocery store do not like to bag my groceries the way I like them…. I could go on and on about the ways I am not in control of things in my life.

Yet, there is one thing I do have control over. I have control over my response to those things. I can respond in faith to those things. I can pray. But, when my bags have bags under my eyes, and my heart aches for someone I love, it is hard to remember to take things to God and leave them there. I like to pick them back up and struggle. I forget the words to “I Surrender” and try to live my life as if I really was “every woman”.

I was never meant to carry all of my own burdens, much less everyone else’s. I forget that sometimes. I am human after all. (Tweet That)

The Battle for Our Emotions

Emotions are something God given. In the church today we often hear teachings that we should not be ruled by our emotions. I agree. The only ruler in our life should be our Father. Yet, I am realistic too. The battle of emotions is a hard one to face. Too often, if we are trying to live a faith filled life, we forget that it is okay to feel.

We are made in the image of God. We have been designed with emotions. The key is not to let the emotions overwhelm us, but instead to be overwhelmed by the love and mercy of our Father.

So what do we do when we feel overwhelmed?

Give ourselves permission to feel. Angry, sad, or joyful, Jesus felt every one of these emotions. He handled them in a healthy way and we can too.
Prayer. A conversation with a friend always makes me feel a little better, but a conversation with the Friend who sticks closer than a brother makes me feel stronger: in my weakness I rely on Him and He gives me strength.
Love. That was God’s response to His disappointment over Adam and Eve. Love is always the response that makes the most sense because while there can be feelings attached with love, love is a choice more than an emotion.

When we are angry and hurt, love calms and heals. When we are sad, love reminds us of the good. Love covers and love lifts. Bob Goff wrote a great book called Love Does, but before that book, God wrote our love story on the cross. Ask God for love and then pour it out to those around you. When we focus on ourselves less and love more, the emotional battle begins to turn in our favor.

Question of the Day

When you feel overwhelmed with sadness or anger, how do you deal with those emotions? Leave your comments below.

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Why The Kingdom Won’t Work Without Women

Dayna — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 06:14:13 +0000

Photo Credit: Unknown Creative Commons License

My Worth as a Woman

I was going to write this large post to build a case that women should be “allowed” to minister. As part of a writing community pastor, writer and speaker Marc Schelske founded, I was going to respond to this video. (It is worth the 45 minutes to listen to this message – male or female!) I was going to figure out how, in 1000 words or less to communicate some freedom and truth about women’s role in the Kingdom. I was somehow going to put the missing piece of the puzzle into place and suddenly all would be right in the Christian world.

The thing is- I do not care what the world has to say about whether or not I can or cannot be a minister because I am a woman.

I gave up the “rights” to claim anything when I laid down my life and took up the cross.Including the right to complain about my rights as a woman. I was going to give some borderline angry diatribe about the Council of Laodicea and how corrupt the “church” became afterwards. But I can’t.

I realize this may seem like a cop out to some, but in the most sincere way I can say this: what others think compared to what my Father thinks – no contest. God wins every time.

I thought about this topic all day after listening to a rousing and clearly informative message by Marc about women in the church. I rolled around in my mind all the things I could say, the personal stories I could tell that would pull at your heart strings and I trashed it all.

Why?

Because my worth as a woman has nothing to do with some council in 363 AD. My worth as a woman has nothing to do with whether or not I can become an ordained minister, a tele-evangelist, or a prophet of note in the body. My worth as a woman has everything to do with what my Dad says about me.

Not the man that helped bring me into this world, but the Father that brought me to life with His love. He says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He says He has plans for me. He says I am His workmanship. He says I am the head and not the tail. He says I am redeemed. He says I am free of the curse of (original) sin and death. He says that He delights in me. He says He loves me. He says I am His child.

Since He is the King of the Universe, the God of all creation, that makes me his princess. In any other kingdom you would not dare tell the King’s own daughter her “place”. You would not begin to set boundaries on a child of God. I am made in His image. He made male and female. Both.

Justified and Just Fine Thanks

I do not have to justify my service to my King. He is loving and kind. He is fierce and just. He is holy and good. When He tells me to go and preach, I will go. I will preach. If He tells me to be silent, I will remain still. If He tells me to prophecy you will hear the words of the Lord flow by the Spirit of God.

He used Deborah, He used Ruth. He used Naomi. He used Mary. He used Phoebe. He used Junia. He can use me. I do not doubt my God. He is the same yesterday, today and forever, so why should I let the fear and doubt of men stop me? Peter said God is no respecter of persons. Paul said: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28

The gospel was not just for men. It is for all. For God so loved the WORLD…that includes women. If women were not meant to have a role in the kingdom, then Jesus would not have gone out of His way to talk to a women at a well. He would not have spent so much time challenging the Pharisees about a woman’s worth when they accused her of adultery. My Jesus loves us all. He sees the heart, so why would anything else matter?

Boobs do not disqualify me from serving God in whatever capacity He chooses to promote me to. (Tweet That)

The kingdom of God would not have come into being without women. Rahab was a whore. Ruth was a Moabite. Mary was just a kid. They all were in the lineage of JESUS! The son of God! These women had a role to play that was more than mere chance. God had a plan for each and every one of them. He has a plan for you too. The kingdom of God will not come to earth as it is in heaven if we do not realize that freedom in Christ is truly that: FREE!

I will live following after a God who lavishes me with love, who showers me with His presence and who calls me with His Spirit. If He can do all of that and not care what my sex is, then why should I?

Question of the Day

How do you feel about women serving in the kingdom? (Scroll down and leave your comment below!)

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Three Lessons From a (Non) Loser

Dayna — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 19:58:15 +0000

Persistence is Key! Photo Credit: Unknown CC License

I have lost, but I am no Loser!

If anyone knows failure it is me. Rejection letters poor in almost as often as bills do around here. I used to confuse rejection with my worth. The two have nothing to do with one another at all. Rejection is the other party’s response to my work, not to my self image, and it certainly has no bearing on my standing as a child of God.

There is a distinction between loosing and being a loser. Though, how often do we get the two messed up in our heads?

I am here to tell you there are lessons to be learned in our failures as much as in our successes.

Room to Grow

Allowing ourselves room to fail and taking that experience as a positive is a life skill I am still working on. I am learning there is always room to grow. For example, my first book was a massive failure. There were only a few hundred copies sold. In book land, that isn’t even worth the battery life it takes to turn on a Kindle, much less buy a book. But the thing I took away was this: try again. I could have given up writing. As a matter of fact, I thought about it. But why let a good lesson go to waste? There are three things that keep me going and I want to share them with you.

1. It is My Calling. – I am a writer. I cannot change that. It is ingrained into me – like the tattoo I thought was a good idea. Nothing can get rid of it now. God designed me to love words. He created me to crave the smell of ink. When I see a blank page it mocks me as it sits there blandly staring back at me – until I fill it with poetry or prose.

When we know we are called to something, it is hard to walk away from it. It is possible, but when we deny who we are called to be we can suffer depression, anxiety, and often spin in a never-ending spiral downward until life does not seem worth living anymore. When we walk into our calling there may be struggle, but it is productive struggle. When we run from our calling we struggle in vain.

2. Anything Worth Doing is Worth Doing Again – I have to say I have learned this the hard way. I used to be a sit-on-the-couch-and-complain-about-my-life kind of gal. I whined that nothing ever went right for me. Life always seemed to kick me down.

What I began to realize is this: in order for life to kick you down, you have to be standing up at some point. So I began to stand. Just that small change in posture gave me a new perspective. There was more life and liberty to be had, and it was there, waiting for me to take it.

To get there all I would have to do is move- just a bit here, and a bit there, but in moving, I gained more perspective, In doing I found purpose. Each time I did something new – pass or fail – I learned something worthwhile. I began to trust that things can work out for the good, and there is hope for a future, When I woke up to see life was not kicking me down, but that I had not been living, my whole world began to change. Now, I look for opportunities to do – to go – to live.

3. Practice Doesn’t Make Perfect, But It Does Make Better – My first book was a flop. I am okay with that. I did not write it to get rich, and I did not write it to become famous. I wrote it because what was on my heart needed to be said. Let’s be real – how many people can say “I wrote a book”? Far fewer than people who say “I want to write a book.”

The difference here is the work. I put the work in. I practiced my skill. I successfully wrote something and not many can say that. The fact that it kind of stinks is not a big deterrent to me. Why? Because as I practice my craft more, I get better at it. There is always room for improvement. The man who wrote most of the New Testament said that he was constantly striving to reach a goal.

“I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.” Philippians 3:14 ESV

If it was like this for Paul, why should we expect anything less? Work is practice for more. Work is practice for better. In doing the work, we develop as people. This is the time in our life when God begins to equip us for the call on our lives. This is when we begin to see that the struggle can be a good thing.

I do not know about you, but the striving, the struggle is worth it – if along the way we get better. (Tweet That)

Persistence is Key

Persistence. Faithfulness. Stick-to-it-iveness. Whatever you may call it, we all need it. In large doses, Without persistence the runner would give up before the prize, the parent would give up before the child was grown, the inventor would fail to invent.

Norm Larsen may not be a household name, but chances are you have his invention in your house or garage. WD-40 is a product widely used in American homes. It literally stands for Water Displacement 40th Attempt. Norm’s first 39 attempts failed. He could have stopped at any time: I know I might have if I were him. Yet, Norm Larsen’s persistence paid off and his end product helps millions of people.

We all have something to offer this broken world. Something in us that will make it a better place to live. If we give up before we find out what that is- on the 20th or the 30th, or the 39th try, then we are not the only ones who will miss out. The world will suffer for it too.

Question of the Day

How do you get over failure?

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Adventure Awaits

Dayna — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 14:43:53 +0000

Adventure Awaits. Photo: Dayna Bickham

Take A Different Path

Robert Frost wrote about a road less traveled. He said

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference”

The concept of taking a different path is not a new one. The Bible is full of imagery about paths. Right now, my favorite verse about paths is this, from Isaiah 43:16-21 The Message:

“This is what God says,

the God who builds a road right through the ocean,

who carves a path through pounding waves,

The God who summons horses and chariots and armies—

they lie down and then can’t get up;

they’re snuffed out like so many candles:

“Forget about what’s happened;

don’t keep going over old history.

Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.

It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?

There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,

rivers in the badlands.

Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’

—the coyotes and the buzzards—

Because I provided water in the desert,

rivers through the sun-baked earth,

Drinking water for the people I chose,

the people I made especially for myself,

a people custom-made to praise me.”

The Promise of the Unexpected

There is something exciting about following the narrower path. It winds, it turns, and sometimes it even feels like it may double back on itself. But when we follow it, there is a great promise attached: there will be unexpected moments that steal our breath.

When I was driving through the mountains with my friend Brandy, she turned to me and asked “Do you get car sick?” When I said no she got excited. What she was really asking was “Can I take the off road paths and have a little fun in my Jeep 4×4?” The answer to that was a resounding “YES!” With every turn of the wheel, and every dip in the road, there were beautiful vistas to be seen or new creeks to be forged. I was thrilled and deeply satisfied with every moment.

Likewise, God asks us, “Hey, do you trust me?” and when we give Him a “yes” we get led on one of the most trilling adventures of our lives. When I started a blog a year ago I did not know what it would lead to. I was just following the Lord. The unexpected things that have come from it, like taking trips around the world, and training as a missionary, or teaching a class of eight through eleven year old girls, have changed my life dramatically. Individually these things have been challenging but worth every moment.

God is forging a new and thrilling path just for you! (Tweet That)

It may not be the way you thought you would go. Please know that this is okay: Columbus thought he was discovering India. What he did was discover a whole new world. He changed the fate of billions by following the path carved out for him. Take the road less traveled. Follow the narrow path. Walk into the uncharted territory of Our Dad’s making and watch your world and mind get blown away! He is waiting to do a new thing. He is waiting for you to dive in and say “I trust you!”

There will never be anything more satisfying than a trip of a lifetime, going off road with the Lord, letting Him make a way where there was no way before!

Question of the Day

Are you an adventurous person? Leave your comments below!

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