I imagine a hazmat team beating down the door at any moment. One of my in-laws showing up to repossess my husband. Paparazzi peeking in the windows to snap a scandalous shot of the wreckage.

I look at my husband and declare, “I feel like a failure because the kitchen is a mess.” I know these words are irrational. Everyone has messy times in their lives. But on this morning those words feel true. He chuckles at my perfectionist self. “We’ve been traveling and really busy,” he says with a grin and an arm around my shoulders.

This bit of grace is enough to throw me a lifeline. And into that space comes this reminder: “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love” (Romans 8:38-39).

And quite suddenly and unexpectedly I’m writing my own version….

Nothing can separate me from God’s love. Neither messy kitchens nor dirty dishes, neither stressful deadlines or chaotic travel, neither all I have to do today or what’s on my schedule for tomorrow—not even the lie of the enemy saying “You’re a failure” can separate me from God’s love.

How would you fill in those blanks?

Nothing can separate me from God’s love. Neither (screaming children, a hard diagnosis, the amount of wine I had last night, a crumbling marriage, the bad hair day) nor (what anyone says about me, how many times I’ve messed up before, my insecurity or feelings of inadequacy, the latest bad news on TV)—not even the sneaky attacks of the enemy (on my heart, my work, my family) can separate me from God’s love.

There’s always a reason to believe God isn’t going to love us anymore. But there is also one reason we can always know that isn’t true: The Cross. It is bigger than mountains of dishes or the hardest of divorces or the scariest diagnosis. It is the one constant in our crazy lives, the ever-present declaration telling us over and over again, “You are loved. You are loved. You are loved.”

Mark and I clear the counters and load the dishwasher. As we do, my thoughts begin to clear too. It’s so easy to let my circumstances or environment define me. But God alone gets to determine my identity. He looks at all that’s in my life, in my heart, in my kitchen sink and He still calls me always and without hesitation, “Beloved.”

He’s saying the same to you. To all of us. Whatever may happen, however we may feel, Love gets the final word in our lives today.

Cheering you on,

Holley

MORE FOR YOU

Mother’s Day is coming soon, and if you’d love to help a mom, daughter, sister, or another woman in your life feel truly seen and loved, my devotional 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart makes a meaningful gift. It’s on sale right now, and if you order soon, it should arrive in time for Mother’s Day!

And if you want a gift for yourself this Mother’s Day, then my Find Your Purpose in this Season course is a gentle guide to help you understand who God created you to be, what he’s calling you to do, and how to live that out in practical ways every day. If that resonates with you, you’re invited to find out more about the course.

You can feel it in small ways. The light lasts a little longer. The air shifts. There’s a sense that what felt dormant might not stay that way forever. And depending on where you are right now, that can feel really comforting…or a little complicated.

Because maybe part of your life does feel new. There’s fresh energy, a sense of movement, even excitement about what’s ahead. Or maybe you’re in a season that still feels heavy, the kind where you’re showing up, doing what you can, but things haven’t changed the way you hoped they would.

Most of us, if we’re honest, are holding a bit of both. Hope in one area. Hard in another. And sometimes we wonder if we’re doing it “right,” if we should feel more joyful or more certain about what’s next.

But God doesn’t ask us to choose between hope and honesty.

He meets us in both. He’s present in the places that are blooming and in the ones that still feel like winter. He isn’t waiting for everything in your life to line up neatly before He calls this season good. He’s already with you in it, right now, as it is.

You don’t have to get to a certain place before you can step into what’s next. You are already held, already seen, already invited into what God is doing, even if part of your story still feels unfinished. Even if it’s tender. Even if it’s slow.

New seasons don’t cancel out hard ones. Often, they grow right alongside them. A small shoot pushing up through the soil doesn’t mean winter never happened. It means life is still at work in the middle of it.

So wherever you find yourself today, you don’t have to force hope or deny what’s hard. You can hold both. You can say, “This is difficult,” and also, “God is still at work here.” You can notice what’s hurting and still stay open to what’s beginning.

One small way to lean into that today is to take a moment and gently ask, “Where do I see signs of life or growth right now?” They might be small, maybe barely even noticeable. They might not change everything. But they count, and they mean there’s more to come.

Because new seasons don’t always arrive all at once. Sometimes they come through little reminders that you’re not alone, you’re loved, and your story isn’t finished yet.

Gratefully,

Holley 

MORE FOR YOU

If you’re looking for extra support in this season or you’re ready for something new, my Spring Course Sale might be fun for you!

All four of my online courses are included: Heal After You’re Hurt. Be a Kick-Butt Writer by Friday. 7 Ways to Thrive as an Introvert. Find Your Purpose in This Season.

You can choose what fits where you are. If one has been on your heart, now is a good time to begin. Each course is self-paced, designed to fit your real-life, and give you what you need to take your next steps forward!

Take a look and choose the one that fits you best before the sale is over: See All the Courses 

In a world full of news headlines and shifting opinions, uncertainty and endless scrolling, so many of us are asking that question.

We long to know what’s real and true. What can get us through the moments when we wake in the night. When we answer the phone and hear words that change everything. If life feels like a tornado and we’re desperate for solid ground beneath our feet.

I keep coming back to these three words when everything feels unsteady: You are beloved.

Not just loved, which is an action toward you, but beloved. This is your unshakeable, eternal, imparted identity. It is your deepest security. It’s what can never be taken from you.

God is love.

Therefore, you are beloved.

There is no breaking news bigger than this reality. No mistake powerful enough to change it. No moment, breath, or second when you aren’t held in the center of this truth.

Because the source of your belovedness is God himself, and his character will not change.

He tells you to ask because he provides.
He reminds you to seek because he guides.
He invites you to knock because you’re welcome in his presence.

This is what you can know for sure today.

Cheering you on,

Holley

FUN NEWS:
I’m sharing a Guided Scripture video on the YouVersion Bible App about how God takes care of us, and I’d love for you to see it.

It will only be featured on the app’s homepage for one day, so be sure to check it out! Just open the Bible app on your phone and it should be right there.

If you miss it, don’t worry—you can access it along with more than 20 free devotional plans I’ve created for you on my partner page. And if you don’t have the YouVersion app yet, you can download it for free here: https://youversion.com/bible-app

—

God,

Whew, I am showing up tired today. It feels vulnerable to say those words to you. But then I remember Jesus napped on a boat in a storm, rested wearily by a well, and needed time away from the chaos of life to pray.

You know what it’s like to live in a world where all is not as it should be, and you said you would help me. I ask for you to empower me to trust that I am deeply loved as I am. My identity is secure in you. I don’t have to strive to earn approval or be perfect to gain belonging.

I release everything and everyone to you. I choose to place each person that I care for in your hands. I give you all of my worries and cares, stresses and anxieties, unanswered questions and what is unknown in my future.

In return, I receive your strength to sustain me through this day. You have promised I will never be on my own in anything I face. I ask for your peace that passes understanding in each moment. I pray for your protection around me and all those I love.

I believe that you have good plans for me, that even now you are working them out. Thank you for all you have done for me, and all you are still doing. Most of all, I’m grateful for your presence with me.

I am never alone. I am always loved. I trust this is true now and forever.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Will you pause for a moment to pray with and for me today? I would especially appreciate prayer for a book I’m finishing as well as protection around our family and friendships. Thank you so much!

More for You

I’ve created over 20 free devotional plans for you on the YouVersion Bible app (it’s the one that looks like a little Bible on your phone). To find all the plans, search for “Holley Gerth” in the app or go to my YouVersion page. If you click “follow” on the page, you’ll be notified about all my new plans too!

I’ve heard that sentence from dear friends, resilient clients, and strangers whose conversations I can’t help but overhear as I write in coffee shops.

It’s usually whispered. Sometimes it comes wrapped in a laugh. Other times it shows up after a long story about a relationship that didn’t work, an emotion that felt too big, or a habit someone can’t seem to change.

“There’s something wrong with me.”

I don’t instantly argue with those words. Not because I agree—but because that sentence is usually carrying pain, not logic. It’s an interpretation that comes out of disappointment, shame, or exhaustion.

When someone says this about themselves, what they’re often noticing is a pattern. I keep reacting this way. I can’t seem to fix this. Other people don’t struggle like I do.

And here’s the gentle truth: noticing a struggle doesn’t mean there’s something inherently broken about you. It means you’re human. It means you learned ways of coping that made sense at the time. It means your nervous system, your heart, and your history are all trying to keep you safe in the only ways they know how.

Instead of saying, “Something is wrong with me,” try responding to what you’re feeling with curiosity so you can understand what’s really happening.

“Something hurts.”

“Something needs care.”

“Something in me is worried.”

That shifts the focus from self-criticism to story. From condemnation to compassion.

When you say “something is wrong with me,” you can also pause and ask questions: What just happened that made me conclude this? Was it a mistake? A conflict? A wave of emotion that felt embarrassing or overwhelming? 

Then speak to yourself the way you would to someone you love.

If your child, your partner, or your closest friend said, “There’s something wrong with me,” you wouldn’t pile on evidence. You’d lean in. You’d listen. You might say, “Tell me more,” or “That sounds really hard.” You’d ask, “What do you need?” or “How can I help?”

Offer yourself that care.

Then pass it on to others.

Sometimes there is something that needs attention—an unhealthy pattern, a boundary that needs strengthening, a wound that needs tending. But seeking healing is very different from being hard on ourselves.

What the life of Jesus shows us is this:

You’re not a problem to be solved.

You’re a person to be loved.

So is every other human on this earth.

Instead of fixating on what we think is wrong with ourselves or each other, can we remember that truth together today?

Gratefully,

Holley

More for You

* More than Small Talk – Sometimes we say “something is wrong with me” when we don’t achieve a goal we’ve set. If that sounds like you, then our recent episode, Why Your New Year’s Resolution Didn’t Make it to February, will give you a new perspective and practical help!

* 365 Truths – If your heart needs daily reminders of what’s true, you’ll find them in 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart. To get started right now, download a free excerpt. You can also read the free YouVersion Bible app plan.

* Online Course – If pain in a relationship is making you say, “something is wrong with me,” then Heal After You’re Hurt is a resource I created just for you. I treasure my folder full of emails from graduates that say, “You helped me feel less alone and gave me what I needed to move forward.”

If you’ve found yourself holding your breath, wondering what’s coming next or how much more you’re supposed to carry, you’re not alone. Moments like this have a way of waking up our deepest questions: Am I safe? Are we going to be okay? Is there still hope here? Those questions aren’t signs of a lack of faith; they’re signs of a tender, honest heart.

You were never meant to absorb the weight of the world by yourself. Your job is not to solve everything, fix everyone, or stay perfectly composed while history unfolds. You are a human being, not a headline interpreter or an emotional shock absorber. God did not ask you to carry what only he can hold.

Take a breath and notice what’s true right now: you are here, you are held, and you are allowed to feel what you feel. Safety doesn’t begin with answers; it begins with presence.

In times like these, it can feel tempting to disconnect from your heart—to numb out, power through, or turn down your sensitivity so it hurts less. But your sensitivity isn’t the problem; it’s part of the solution. It’s what allows you to love deeply, notice what matters, and respond with compassion instead of cruelty.

I’ve said it before and I believe it’s truer than ever now: A soft heart in a hard world is courage, not weakness. 

The world doesn’t need less feeling right now; it needs deep compassion that turns into action. If you’re wondering what you can do, start here: be a safe place for whoever you can today. Not a perfect one. Not an always-right one. Just a safe one.

Be someone who listens more than reacts, who stays present instead of performing, who remembers that people are more than their worst takes or loudest fears, who refuses to trade tenderness for being “right.” You don’t have to engage every argument or carry every sorrow. You’re allowed to choose where you give your attention and energy. That isn’t avoidance; it’s intentionality.

And when you feel discouraged about the state of things, remember this: history doesn’t only turn on big moments; it turns on everyday faithfulness. On people who keep choosing love when fear would be easier, on hearts that stay soft in a hard world, on small acts of courage that rarely make the news. You may not always see the impact of your presence, but it matters more than you know.

– Holley

More for You

* If the world feels overwhelming right now and you’re not sure what to do or say, I want to offer a simple invitation: pause and pray. Prayers for Peace of Mind was created for moments like these, with short reflections, grounding prayers, and steady truths you can hold on to and share with others. If that feels supportive, you can learn more and read a free excerpt here.

* There’s also a (free) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan! Click here for 7 days of Scripture-based encouragement, prayers, and truths… or share the Plan with a friend who is feeling anxious, stressed, or worried right now.

* One thing I’m certain of in an uncertain world: you are here for such a time as this. God has a purpose for you right now, no matter your age, struggles, or circumstances. If you want clarity about your purpose and how to live it out in a meaningful way each day, you can find it in my online course, Find Your Purpose in This Season.

]]> https://holleygerth.com/gentler-perspective-for-2026/ Tue, 20 Jan 2026 11:30:16 +0000 https://holleygerth.com/?p=27390 I love the New Year—the hope, the possibilities spread out before me like the blank pages of a journal. I love to dream, set goals, imagine what could be.

But this year, we’re almost to the end of January and I haven’t made a single resolution. I’ve not come up with grand visions. I’m letting one page of the calendar gently turn to the next without forcing anything.

It’s strangely freeing.

It’s also hard for me to accept.

At breakfast this morning I said to Mark, “Let’s talk about the year ahead.” It felt like I was still missing something. But we both came to the same conclusion: our focus for this year is just to keep moving forward.

We have projects in the works, people we love who need extra support, a handful of commitments to fulfill. These aren’t about flashy goals, big dreams, or new, brave things. But they are worthwhile. They are good. They are what loving well looks like in this season.

January can come with a lot of pressure. If you’re feeling that too, I hope this little post will be a relief—that it helps you set down anything that feels heavy, release expectations that don’t fit, and embrace what (or who) is right in front of you.

At the end of our lives, it will not be the BIG things that matter most. It will be everyday life, little moments, quiet faithfulness, strung together like beads on a necklace—small things that together become something beautiful.

“Well done, good and faithful servant,” says the Master in the Gospels.

Not “Well done, great and famous servant.”

Not “Well done, go-getter and fast-mover servant.”

Not “Well done, gorgeous and flawless servant.”

What are we asking of ourselves that God has never required of us?

The truest thing about you is that you are beloved. This is your eternal identity, not something you have to earn or prove this year.

It is enough to simply do what you can, with what you have, wherever you are, for whoever is in front of you each day. It is enough to keep moving forward.

I’m cheering you on as you do!

Gratefully,

Holley

MORE FOR YOU

If we’re unclear about our purpose, it can create pressure because we end up doing what everyone else wants us to do—only to feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Who’s been there? (Raising my hand.)

My online course, Find Your Purpose in This Season, will help you gain clarity about who you’re created to be, what you’re called to do, and how to live that out sustainably in 2026.

You’ll be empowered to say “yes” to what’s best—and a healthy “no” to the rest.

If this resonates, you can learn more here.

• A New Reading Plan and a Gift for You: This time of year often brings extra stress, anxiety, and worries alongside the gifts under the tree. I’ve created a brand new (free!) YouVersion Bible Reading Plan to meet you in that place and bring a little peace. Click here for 7 days of Scripture-based encouragement, prayers, and truths you’ll remember this season. (Want more than 7 days? Here’s another free resource with excerpts from my book Prayers for Peace of Mind.)
• A Devotional for All of 2026: What would next year look like if you started each day with encouragement and truth? The daily devotions in 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart take less than five minutes to read, but they’ll strengthen your heart, deepen your faith, and remind yourself of what matters most. Order your copy today so you’re ready for January! (If shipping is delayed, you can read a free excerpt here.)
• Created With You in Mind: Imagine waking up in the morning with a deeper sense of meaning PLUS a practical plan to help you do what matters most. Imagine less confusion and more clarity, less insecurity and more confidence, less pressure and more contentment. The changes you long for begin with listening to the whisper inside that keeps asking, “Why am I here?” Let’s find the answer together inside Find Your Purpose in this Season.

But into that place of fear there comes a God-whisper in my heart, “Your worry cannot change the world, only I can.”

Luke 12:25 says, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?”

Who of us by worrying can make the prodigal come home, the marriage be restored, the meeting go well, the weight come off, the lights come on, the kids stay safe, the wrong be undone, the project turn out right?

Worry is seductive because it feels like control. If we are worrying then we must be taking action. We must be turning the tide. But this is only a distraction and deception. It’s a shiny object for us to chase to keep us from going to the One who can actually get it done.

When I realize this it doesn’t feel like a rebuke; it feels like a relief. Jesus, in all His gentleness and kindness, His extravagant mercy and care, has taken the boulder from my hands and said, “It doesn’t depend on you.” As I picture this I see the scars on His own palms, hear His voice on the cross saying, “It is finished.”

Isn’t that what we really want to know? That someone is taking care of it, of them, of the situation, the circumstance, the thing that makes us make our pillow soggy with salty tears. This is what God says He will do. He will look out for the sparrows with their wispy feathers and fragile bones. And for us too, with our tender hearts and glass lives.

And even when the worst comes, when everything shatters, He can make it (and us) whole again.

After the call I sit on the edge of my bed and listen to a song, headphones in my ears, hands folded on my lap. I whisper, “God, I release this person I love to You.” I add more words, requests, and hopes. I will say this again in the kitchen. In the car. As I sit in a coffee shop. Because it takes more than one time to win the battle against worry. It’s an ongoing choice, one we falter with often. This is alright because Jesus understands what it is to be human.

What frees our hearts isn’t worry; it’s worship. In other words, taking all the hard things to Someone who cares for us. Choosing to trust and let go. Believing through the blood, sweat and tears He will mysteriously work it all together for good.

Here’s what we can rest in today: The only One who has ever been able to bear the weight of the world on His shoulders is still strong and loving enough to carry all that concerns us too.

More For You:

If you’re struggling with anxiety, worry, or stress this holiday season, I’d love to share this free resource with you. My new devotional book, Prayers for Peace of Mind, is a calming companion (and it would make a great Christmas gift to give your loved ones!), but you can find right-now encouragement immediately. → Click here for a free 7-day reading plan. Based on content from the devotional, the YouVersion plan will help you turn your anxiety to calm, stress to rest, and worry to worship.

Last week’s on the More than Small Talk podcast, we revisited a very special (and timely) episode. Listen in here as we share the story behind one of our favorite Christmas carols and talk about how the words can help us draw closer to Jesus.

“I’m a failure,” she says. With these words, I watch her hunch over as if she’s curling into a protective ball. She crosses her arms over her chest, a defensive move. She won’t make eye contact with me anymore. Everything her about her body language communicates, I don’t feel safe.

I see no threats in the taco shop. No tigers hiding out behind the stacks of tortillas. No masked men waiting to steal our salsa. My queso is certainly not a source of intimidation. What is happening?

One of the biggest aha moments on my healing journey was this: The way we talk to and about ourselves can make us feel unsafe.

Dr. Bernard Golden says, “Self-criticism itself is a threat to our emotional and physical well-being…. And just as the brain developed in the context of a relationship with others, the relationship we have with ourselves also has the potential to put us in a state of threat. Self-criticism and the anger associated with it can very much lead us to experience the same ‘fight-flight-freeze’ response we might experience in response to an external threat.”

My friend’s comment of “I’m a failure” triggered a fear response in her just as those words would have coming from someone else. Sometimes the most unsafe place in our lives is our own minds.

I thought of this on a recent evening when I attended a gathering for local artists and writers who create based on Scripture. One passage for the evening came from Acts 10, when God gives Peter a vision of a sheet coming down from heaven with different animals in it that Peter would have seen as unclean.

But God says, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean” (Acts 10:15 NIV). This vision is a precursor to Peter going to the house of a gentile named Cornelius. When he arrives he says, “God has shown me that I should no longer think of anyone as impure or unclean” (Acts 10:28 NLT).

As I heard this passage, it seemed God whispered to my heart…
Do not call yourself impure if God has made you clean.

I began to think of all the things we call ourselves, and what God would say He has made us instead.
Do not call yourself a sinner if God has made you forgiven and holy.
Do not call yourself unwanted if God has made you chosen and treasured.
Do not call yourself unworthy if God has made you an honored daughter or son.
Do not call yourself “not good enough” if God has made you in His image.
Do not call yourself unloved if God has made you His beloved.

Our inner critic may have harsh words for us, but the voice of our loving God will always bring us back to our true identity and feeling safe with Him.

I look at my friend who has just said she’s a failure, her shoulders still hunched, her face still downcast. “You’re not a failure,” I tell her, “You’re loved. You’re doing hard things. You’re going to be okay.” She lifts her head and smiles, reaches for the basket in front of us. “Chips and salsa help,” she says. I certainly agree.

My hope for the two of us, and you, is that when we are in the car on the drive home, when we wake up and stare at the ceiling in the night, when we do mess up, that we will be able to say words to ourselves and each other that remind us of our belovedness.

Let’s take a gentle, holy pause to practice this together: What does God want to speak to your heart today, and what might He want to speak to someone else today through you?

Do not call yourself _____________ if God has made you _____________.

MORE FOR YOU

If you want daily reminders of who you really are and how much you’re loved, you’ll find them in my devotional book, 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart (download a free excerpt here). It’s also a beautiful Christmas gift for every woman in your life who needs encouragement!

If today’s post resonated, you’ll love the last two conversation on the More than Small Talk podcast! In a world where it seems like unkindness has become common, we can still choose to communicate with love, grace, and courage… with ourself and with others. Listen in here.