Dazed Reflections of A Diva

And Then It Was 2017

2017-01-01T15:29:00.000+05:30

It seems like just a few months ago I was finally making progress with my blogging writers block and then suddenly it's 2017 !!

At the stroke of midnight, as we toasted to champagne - my friends and I went about sharing our resolutions / ambitions for the year. We determined that everyone is out to make more money and wants to travel more than they already. Keeping those two points aside - what is it that we all want to achieve for the coming year.

I came out with the below aims : Focus on expanding my business (in the bespoke travel sector) and to Start Writing Again ! Having said that I realized that somewhere in the back of my mind - that I have been drawn towards writing / blogging but something always comes up. It could be that at times I'm not in the frame of mind to pen my thoughts; sometimes my thoughts are zooming around at over a 100 miles per hour and I can barely keep up with them .. and at other times I get this sense of 'heaviness' that ends up in an emotional block. To be fair to myself, I have been working on my Company blog over the last year

Whilst recovering from my NYE party (it wound up at 7 a.m !) - it struck me that if I don't do at least 'try' to start writing - I will keep putting it off until there's no coming back to it (okay maybe that's harsh but I will try to not let it get to that point).

I have always found the Ultimate Blog Challenge inspiring and that's what got me into blogging more regularly. At last count - I have 794 posts spread over 6 years (2014 & 2015 were not my best blogging years where I barely churned out 20 posts over the whole year). My last attempt at the Challenge wasn't all there; but I'm going to give it another shot. So here I am .. hoping that my fellow bloggers and blog readers will be there to encourage my foray back into the blogger world.

Happy 2017 Folks !! Hope you have a fantastic year ahead !

Happiness Is ... Choosing Your Own Path

2015-10-06T18:00:00.000+05:30

I realise that this might be a tad deep when you sit back and think about it - but really makes sense.

A large majority of people fall into a herd mentality and end up doing what everyone around them is doing. This is probably because our entire lives have been laid out for us : attend school, go to university, get a degree in order to get a good job so as to support yourself. If that's not enough - find a partner, have a family, support the family by continuing to work hard until retirement when you can finally enjoy your life. Heard this before right ?

There's nothing wrong with structure but have you taken a minute to think about whether that preset path is the path for you ? Did you give up on an entrepreneurial move or a risky career change due to fear of the unknown / uncertainty of it all ? Is there something you feel you could have done different when you look back at the past few years ? Are you doing what you love ?

Ever since a young age - I realized that I'm ready to go down the road less travelled. At 9 or 10 years old I told my parents I wanted to own a night club. Imagine that !! When it was time for me to go to university - I ended up moving halfway across the world from Dubai to Montreal. That's a flight time of about 18 hours including layover. My Dad wanted me to be a banker - a good stable career. I pursued it for all of 9 months after graduation and left to set-up my own company managing & marketing night clubs in London. My entire family including extended members flipped out and told me how irrational I was behaving; that I shouldn't leave a good career which growth opportunities for something that wasn't stable. I moved out of the family house, got my own apartment and followed my passion - the world of events & nightlife. Then about 6 years later my clients were asking me to plan private events for them and within a year of that I moved across oceans (again) to Bombay to set up my next venture in Events & Wedding Planning.

I currently run a boutique company called A Klass Apart which focuses on events & wedding planning. I get to work with clients and event spaces around the world. I now take 'summer holidays' (like we did back in school) for 3-4 months a year for the last few years. I work with select clients (mainly on a word of mouth basis) - if we 'click' we work together; if not - I rather not take the stress. I have a portable office (my trusted laptop & hard drive) which means I can work from anywhere in the world as opposed to being in one place all the time.

Of course it's not all a bed of roses. I've had financial ups & downs. I've learned a few things the hard way. My friends are never free when I am (i.e. during the day). The industry I'm in means that public holidays, festive seasons and weekends are generally when I am the busiest so can't really enjoy this with friends / family. But I knew all of this when I chose to take this path and the things I didn't know I got to know over the years.

I may not own a nightclub as yet but I know eventually I'll get there. It's still on my mind. Maybe if I was a stockbroker like some of my cousins - I would already have it but I doubt the journey would be as much fun as what I'm currently experiencing.

I came across a great article 'Creating Your Own Life Path' which I resonated with and think you will enjoy as well.

What path did you choose - the road well travelled or the road less travelled ? Are you happy with your choice ? Is there a path that you wish you had taken or think you could still take (even if it for a short walk) ?

Happiness Is .. Cash In Your Savings Account

2015-10-05T20:48:00.002+05:30

Come on !! Who doesn't get a happy feeling knowing that there's some extra cash sitting in the bank account ? Instead of spending that rolled up tenner that you found in your jeans pocket - just put it away.

At the start of the year I randomly decided to just collecting all the coins / spare change that I would find around my room, in my various hand bags or even in my car ... at the end of the month there was the equivalent of £20 that I had lying around ... think about it £20 x 12 months = £240 that's enough for a big night out or a weekend away.

I started saving properly when I hit 30. I should have done it earlier but I was busy enjoying life and the financial independence that I had spent my entire 20's working for. I'm 33 and have a good chunk sitting in the bank. I may not be able to buy a house yet but I've got my down payment ready !

When did you start saving ? Are you regular saver ? Do you have any saving tips that you could suggest ?

Happiness Is .. Financial Independence

2015-10-04T20:36:00.000+05:30

Nothing quite beats the feeling of financial independence ! I started my first business at 21 and my second at 28. I may not be able to afford to buy a house right now or even get a mortgage as I'm self-employed but just knowing that I earn enough to support myself, and indulge my passions (whether it be travel or learning something new or taking the 'summer' off work) is quite a feeling in itself.

Do you remember what it felt like when you got your first pay cheque ? That euphoric feeling and sense of accomplishment ? How did it feel knowing that you are no longer dependent on your folks now that you're earning on your own ?

Just remember that if you have the ability to work and earn right now - no matter what the income is - be grateful that you can do that because there are people out there who are unable to meet their basic requirements.

Happiness Is .. Making Peace With Your Past

2015-10-03T11:00:00.000+05:30

Sometimes you just have to confront your past and lay out ground rules so that it doesn't suddenly pop up and send your present helter-skelter.

As hard as it may be to - don't look back at your past. If something isn't working out for you - regardless of the situation i.e. work / personal life / education etc chalk out your options / alternatives and strive forward. Once you've made that choice - don't dwell on the past. This is when applying the 3 C's of Life will help you : make a choice to take a chance to change your life !

Once you have truly accepted that the past should remain in the past - you'll be able to see what the future has in store for you. Life is too short to stress yourself. I've made peace with my past - have you ?

Happiness Is .. Accepting Yourself

2015-10-02T15:08:00.001+05:30

How aware are you of who YOU really are ? Are you aware of the positive & negative qualities that you possess and the qualities that people think you have ? How 'accepting' are you ?

I came to the conclusion almost 2 decades ago when I was still in school that I'm different from my peers. I didn't fall into the flock although I definitely had many 'flocks' of friends. I'm an all-round person. I can pretty much adapt to any situation I'm put in. I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I don't give a f*ck what people think about me (not in a bad way) but because unless you can tell me to my face - your opinion holds no value to me).

I have good days and bad days like everyone else. I love my business and it drives me. I work hard to party even harder. There are days I wish my sweet tooth wasn't so bad and in turn that would result in me dropping at least 10 kgs but I do love dessert way too much to really give it up. I love my friends fiercely.

Do you accept and enjoy yourself for who you are ?

Happiness Is .. The Love of Parents

2015-10-01T20:00:00.000+05:30

Doesn't seeing this image leave you with a warm fuzzy feeling ? We often take our parents for granted and oversee the sacrifices they have made to ensure that their children are comfortable.

'Unconditional' - it appears to be the only apt word to describe the love a parent has for their child. As my Mum puts it - she loves all her children even the ones who give her grief (clearly that's not me).

I've taken to spending the mornings chatting with my Mum - getting to know what her plans are or what she thought of the last movie that she saw. I realise now as I write this post that I 'spoke' to my Mum almost every day whilst I was travelling for the summer (and that's something I've never done in all my years of travelling)..

I reckon she deserves a vacation ! Hopefully I can take her somewhere she wants to visit in 2016.

Don't forget to drop your folks a quick hello by email / text / phone call or give them a hug if you happen to live at home or if you are in their neighbourhood.

The Ultimate Blog Challenge Theme Reveal

2015-09-24T23:02:00.000+05:30

With the Ultimate Blog Challenge just around the corner - I have more or less decided on a theme for my blog posts. Have you heard or come across 'LastLemon.com' or perhaps you know them better for the cute cartoon 'Happiness Is ...' images that are floating around the internet ?

I'm going to use illustrations from LastLemon.com to help me get my blog on as it's been over a year since I've written on a consistent basis (although in my defence there are quite a few partial drafts sitting in my dashboard).

Ever since my Dad passed, it hit me hard in the face that life is unpredictable. I've always known this but it 'sunk in'. I've made it a point to try to enjoy / do more of anything & everything that makes 'Me' feel good.

I've started collecting illustrations that I feel an instant connect with and hopefully I'll get a few blog posts ready before the challenge actually starts ! So there you have it, my blog theme for the UBC is based around 'Things That Make Me Happy'

I hope you enjoy these posts and if you find yourself relating to any of them - I would love to hear from you in the comments. If you're participating in the UBC then do let me know so that I can visit your blog as well. Are you following a theme for your blog posts ? If you use Twitter then drop me a tweet on @dazediva

#WW 76 The Yellow Brick Road

2015-09-16T11:30:00.000+05:30

I came across this stunning picture on the Dragon Writing Prompts blog and there was an instant connection to it. I think it's perfect for #WordlessWednesday !

I love the way the yellow stands out against the grey starkness of the picture. There's so much detail. I can almost feel the fog shifting across the trees. The branches eerily calling you towards them - almost enticing you to walk down the yellow brick road. Something must lurk beyond the fallen tree trunk - why else would there be an obstacle on such a pretty path.

What do you think of when you see this picture ? Would you go down the path to see where it takes you ?

How About The Food Pill ?

2015-09-15T01:00:00.000+05:30

I came across the below blogging prompt from The Daily Post free E-Book : 365 Writing Prompts last week.

If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill - no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation - would you do it ?

Damn right I would !! I'm well aware that a 'nutrition pill' or a 'food pill' can't ever really substitute real food - however, given the fact that I'm not really a foodie - such a pill would make my life easier !

I love desserts ! I have a baaaaaad sweet tooth. I'm one of those people who would happily skip all meals and replace them with something sweet. Therefore an all-in-one nutrition pill would be quite ideal for me to ensure that I get my 5-a-day. Mind you, I'm quite sure that I would still eat things such as fruits, cereal / muesli, smoothies, other liquids (coconut water, lemonade, a yogurt based drink known as 'lassi') and of course actual chocolates / desserts.

There is no substitute for dessert in my eyes. I'm suddenly craving a small bowl of nutella and crunchy peanut butter along with an apple ! [I'm making it a healthy-ish dessert]

At the end of the day, I'm the kind of person who enjoys going out to eat (hint - I don't have to cook) and at the same time I enjoy cooking for a group of friends for a brunch / dinner party. I never really make an effort when it comes to 'food' when I'm looking to grab a bite on my own. Give me fruit yogurts and I could eat them all through the day.

What about you ? Would you take the pill substitute and forsake the prep time required in making a full meal ? Think of all the time that could be saved that is spent cooking (yes, I know I'm making it sound like a task). I know it doesn't take long to actually cook if you plan your meals out or have a stocked fridge (neither of which is applicable to me haha).

Pop on over to The Daily Post to read more about what other bloggers have to say about the Red Pill, Blue Pill

Red Pill, Blue Pill

#WW 75 What Are Your Roots ?

2015-09-09T10:22:00.000+05:30

Apparently my roots are Greek ;) What about yours ?

Happy Wordless Wednesday folks ! Don't forget to share your linky below !

To Theme Or Not to Theme ?

2015-09-08T12:00:00.000+05:30

As you may be aware, the Ultimate Blog Challenge is back in October 2015 and yours truly is taking part in it to get out of my blogging rut !

My very first UBC was in Jan ’12 where I just blogged about random topics every day – and it did get hard towards the end of it. Then I went ahead and with a general theme 'Think About It' wherein I wrote about quotes / images that connected to me. I've also written about the 'A to Z of Blogging' and 'A to Z of Sex' for the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.

Given the above actually helped me focus my blogging in a particular direction - I'm wondering whether or not to go with a theme for this years' challenge ? I'm more than likely to do it - but then it's the topic that I need to think about.

Seeing that I'm in need of inspiration - it would mean a lot if you could suggest a theme or post topics that you would like to read about.

#MM 95 Pit Bull Feat Chris Brown - Fun

2015-09-07T14:14:00.000+05:30

There are people who are bummed out by Mondays - I'm NOT one of them. Then again, I like to call Mondays my unofficial day off since I run my own business and majority of my work is Wednesday to Sunday.

I've had this track on my SoundCloud.com playlist for a few weeks now and reckon it's the perfect peppy track to start the week off with.

I generally like most of Pitbulls' music even though some of it could come across as repetitive. What do you think of his music ? Have you heard this track before ?

Come join Music Monday and share your songs with us. Rules are simple. Leave ONLY the ACTUAL LINK POST here and grab the code below and place it at your blog entry. You can grab this code at LadyJava’s Lounge Please note these links are STRICTLY for Music Monday participants only. All others will be deleted without prejudice.

PS: Because of spamming purposes, the linky will be closed on Thursday of each week at midnight, Malaysian Time. Thank you!

The Social Network

2015-09-05T15:57:00.000+05:30

I came across a prompt from The Daily Post free E-Book : 365 Writing Prompts whilst on the hunt for some blogging inspiration. I'm going to combine this prompt with another one (which says to set yourself a time goal of 10 minutes and answer the question). So here's the prompt and my response :

Do you feel like you "get" social media, or do you just use it because that's where all your friends and family are ?

I DO get social media. Sure I have friends and family on it - using various types of social media but I'm there for my business and myself. I truly believe that one can build themselves as a brand if social media is applied in the right way.

Over the past month - I decided to upgrade my educational skills. I have a B.Comm in Management & E-Commerce but it's been a while since I have studied anything. It came as no surprise to me when I found myself signing up for a Diploma in Social Media Marketing & Online Reputation Management. It's an accredited course from a reputed educational academy. I enjoyed it so much that I signed up for the Advance Digital Marketing Diploma as well.

Before I even began to develop the social media platforms for my business - I had already been (in a way) building my personal brand up. It all started with a few blogs and then there was Twitter - and all of a sudden I found myself being asked to blog for other amazing blogs who actually wanted my perspective on topics. I managed this without really putting too much thought into it - I was going with the flow and learning the ropes myself.

Now when it comes down to my business - I want to grow my brand using all the available channels that social media has to offer. Let's face it - the power of social media goes a long way ! I guess that's why I took the course and why I still want to learn more. Social media is constantly evolving - probably too rapidly for most of us to understand .. but the way I see it - there's no harm trying to keep as up-to-date as we can.

If you want to know more about social media for business then I would recommend reading 'Will Social Media Take You On A Magic Carpet Ride (To Success' and How Social Media Can Help You Get Ahead.

Do You Need Daily Blogging Inspiration ?

2015-09-04T20:10:00.000+05:30

I've been on the look out for some blogging inspiration - especially now that I've decided to sign up for the Ultimate Blog Challenge . The last few days have been spent doing general research on the past challenges that I've participated in to get an idea of what kind of themes or topics other participants were blogging about. The challenge sends out blogging topics each day as well to keep the participants inspired.

Then, the other night I came across The Daily Post blog site which has a Daily Prompts section. It's quite cool as there is a 'daily' prompt (as the name suggests). The prompt is a word or up to 3 words from what I've noticed topped up with a question / statement that you can put your own response to in case you don't want to think of a topic solely based on the prompt word(s). The site also allows you to pingback to their posts and enables your post to be visible to all the participating bloggers.

Quite a few of the prompts have caught my attention and I'm hoping to get cracking on them at the earliest. I may have to back-date some of them to go in accordance with the Prompt schedule or maybe it won't matter at all. I'll figure that bit out. I'm a bit of a stickler for order.

I also came across A Prompt A Day which has only just started in June and as the name suggests - the host puts up prompts ranging from a word, an image, a quote. There are about 80 prompts so far.

Another interesting site is The One Minute Writer - wherein there's a daily prompt but you have 60 seconds to jot your thoughts down in the form of a comment. Of course you can take this a step further and expand on your own blog. I know I would do that.

So there you go - in case you are in need of some writing inspiration, I'd definitely recommend heading on over to any of these blog sites and see what it is that inspires you to write.

p.s Don't forget to share your blog link in the comments so that I can visit your page.

Have You Tried The Ultimate Blog Challenge ?

2015-09-03T19:37:00.000+05:30

I've been thinking about the way I can edge myself back to the blogosphere and I reckon that the best way for me to do this would be to get myself in gear for the Ultimate Blog Challenge October 2015.

There are few simple rules to follow if you are interested in taking up the Ultimate Blog Challenge:

Post every day for 31 days (yup - that's why it's a challenge). Doesn't matter if you post twice a day and then skip a day – but you have to hit 31 posts over the entire month of October.
Each post must have a minimum of 100 words to count – so you can’t just put up a picture or a video and leave it there. You need to actually express yourself in at least 100 words.
Once you've posted, then tweet your post with the tag #blogboost so other participants can find you, and come comment on your blog
Join the UBC Facebook page and find yourself amongst fellow bloggers; just add your link on the daily post comments section and visit other blogs
Go to the #blogboost page and take the time to read other participants blogs (and don’t forget to comment!)
No adult blogs – so keep it PG
Have fun whilst you blog !

You can sign up over here : http://www.ultimateblogchallenge.com and enter your name and email address (this also allows the organizers of the challenge to send you across daily blog ideas and gets you listed on the site as someone who is participating)

Have you ever been a part of any Blog Challenges ? Would you consider being a part of this 31 Day blog challenge ? I have really enjoyed the UBC in the past and discovered some fab blogs along the way. Given my recent writers block - I hope to be able to just get on with it and hit my target of 31 posts for the month of October. Now I just need to think of a theme !!

If you do decide to take part in the challenge, please make sure you leave a comment and share your blog link so that I can stop by your blog .

And There Was A Dream About A Crow

2015-09-03T19:00:00.000+05:30

Imagine having a lazy early evening nap (it's rare for me), feeling the breeze brush against your skin, and then there's a crow / raven flying right at you to take rest at your feet ! OMG - I found myself jumping out of bed and on the floor. My windows were open and I really 'felt' that bird at my feet !

Naturally, I do what any sane person would do - Google'd dream dictionaries for the interpretation of seeing a crow in my dream. The results were actually interesting and insightful; and given that I could relate to it all - means I'm pretty happy about it all. (albeit a little shaken at the thought of a crow landing at my feet WHILST I'm asleep !!)

My take on it is that seeing a crow in ones' dream is generally rare and when you do see one it is a good omen and an omen of intelligence / wisdom as well.

It implies that your subconscious wants you to try harder and educate yourself. Would you believe - I recently completed a Diploma in Social Media Marketing and am due to start an Advance Digital Marketing course next week. I haven't 'studied' (in the traditional sense of signing up for courses) in almost a decade and after doing the first course, I was ready to sign up for the next. I've always enjoyed 'learning' and I guess this means I'm on the right track in terms of improving my own mind.
It is associated with a major life decision such as buying a home, investing or entering into a relationship. This summer I decided, I wanted to own a property. Somewhere to call my own space. A base if you would like to call it. I've been talking to my friends about it and have raised the topic with my Mum as well. Fingers crossed I will become a home owner.
It means it's time to take risks, to look for opportunities to create and manifest the magic of life. For me this means that anything I choose to do with the above two points will be successful and materialize positively for me. Maybe this is just the sign I needed to know that I'm on the right track. I'm building on my dreams.

Of course there were a whole bunch of other interpretations which were on the depressing to almost morbid but I didn't really get that vibe from my dream. Do you remember your dreams ? I remember almost all my dreams quite vividly. It's kind of a scary at times especially when I end up with a sense of deja-vu over a situation similar to a past dream.

Do you consider dreams to be symbolic ? I'm sure you have all had a grandma or relative interpret a dream on your behalf at some stage in your life. In case you are curious, are you aware of these 12 Facts About Dreams & Dreaming ?

What was the last dream that you had ? It's only fair that you share your dream given that I've shared mine with you.

#WW 74 Kitty Hugs

2015-09-02T19:00:00.000+05:30

Saw these two adorable kitties at a busy street market and had to capture the hugs !

And here I thought cats were not meant to be affectionate =P

Happy Wordless Wednesday folks ! Don't forget to share your linky below !

MM #94 The Weeknd - I Can't Feel My Face

2015-08-24T12:19:00.000+05:30

I can't get this track out of my head. There's something about the beats and lyrics that resonates with me. I've had it on repeat for a few days now.

Whilst many say that the lyrics refer to the artist & substance abuse ... I feel that one can take the lyrics in so many more ways. There's something deep and passionate about it. Could you feel - could you love someone that much ?

This is quite the summer anthem this year - and quite a sexy track overall. I've found myself grooving down the street to it over the last few days. Perhaps it's the musical emotions that come to mind when I hear the track.

Have you heard this before ? What do you think ? Do you hear the Michael Jackson influence in the vocals ?

Edging Back To The Blogosphere

2015-08-22T16:09:00.002+05:30

Where do I even begin ? I haven't really touched this space - this little haven where my thoughts would pour out in the last 2 years. I tried - but the grief I was going through overwhelmed me. I wanted to write - to express what it was that I was going through and the words would cause my heart to close in on me. The ache was so terrible that my eyes would water until the screen was too blurry to even see. Then the pounding headaches that made me want to smash my head against a wall as that would distract from the pain I was going through. Who would want to deal with that right ?

Then yesterday, I found myself saying it out loud to someone that I barely knew. I admitted that I stopped doing something I really enjoyed because grief took over me in a way that I didn't know was possible. Could I have really been grieving that long ?

My Dad passed away in August 2013. I went from being on holiday to his hospital bedside. I had to make that terrible phone call to tell my Mum he was no more. I never thought I would end up planning a funeral. I didn't realize just how much my world would change. My tolerance for anything and everything was almost volcanic in nature. I attempted to break the silence - but just found myself in that limbo state of mind. Fellow bloggers reached out to me and I probably didn't say anything to them then but it meant so much knowing that you cared enough to just send hugs. Then I tried to get back into it all with the A to Z Challenge in April 2014- you know, instead of pouring my heart out - just follow instructions for a challenge ... that didn't work out as well as I wanted. I got to the letter G and my post was titled Grief & Grieving and my emotions went off on this roller coaster ride that I couldn't quite get out of !!

After this chat I had ... I woke up this morning and for the first time in a long time, I felt like opening my blog and brushing the dust off it. I'm still me - and I realize that keeping things bottled up is not good for me as a person. It's a bright sunny day here in London and perfect for penning down a blog or two. So, for the brethren of bloggers out there checking into this space - thanks for wandering by and for believing that I will rise from the ashes (eventually)

G for Grief & Grieving

2014-04-08T11:43:00.000+05:30

We cry in our rooms, remembering a man who will never be here again. The house creaks. Maybe it feels the weight of our grief, maybe the floorboards are buckling because the burden is too heavy. - Rochelle Maya Callen, Ashes & Ice

Grief is something everyone experiences at some stage or another during their lifetime. The most painful loss we can experience is the death of a loved one (and of a loved pet) We all know it will happen one day - but nothing can really prepare you for it when it does happen.

There is no 'right' way to grieve and each of us have to find our own way through the healing process after a loss. There will be good days, there will be bad days and then there will be days where you find yourself lost - but it will eventually pass.

I left my parents home last summer to head back to London and 3 weeks into my trip I was informed that my Dad was in hospital. He was absolutely fine when I left and it didn't make any sense. I wasn't able to fly back for a week - but that was the longest week I have been through. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think and I would spend my day just waiting to know 'what was going on'. The minute I got a confirmed seat on a flight - I was out of there and by his bedside and that's when I knew my world as I knew would come crashing down. I was in the hospital - just outside his room when he passed away. They wouldn't let me go in until they pronounced him no more. I had to make the call to my Mother and siblings; all the while signing paperwork at the hospital. His funeral was a blur later that same afternoon. My friends showed up. I had a fever for days. 6 months later - the roller coaster of emotions is still full of highs and lows; some days are flat (i.e. blank) and others are worse than others. I think it's worse at family events - anniversaries, birthdays and religious days (my Dad was quite religious).

Coping & Dealing with Grief

Again there is no right way of doing this. All I can say is that don't' shut people out. Talking to friends who have also dealt with a loss can help you assess your own emotions. I know it helped me. Don't fall down the path of isolation or resorting to excessive alcohol or substance abuse. I say this because you may not even realize you are on that path until much later.

Blogging has been one of my outlets (since I have never kept a diary or a journal) - but I couldn't bring myself to write or express myself. When I attempted to break the silence on my blog after my Dads' passing - the first try left me with a feeling of being in limbo. It was a bit too much for me - but I'm glad I'm finally writing again. My feelings were reflected in my writing and thoughts through the October Ultimate Blog Challenge.

If you know someone who is grieving - the best thing you can do for them is to be there for them. Be there as someone who will listen to them and who cares about their well being. Ask them about their feelings and let them acknowledge the pain but also encourage them to remember the good times.

The thought of losing my Mother makes my eyes sting and well up in tears and I feel as if I'm being thrown into a dark whirpool of nothingness. And this is just a thought. I can't even imagine what state I would be in if that were to actually happen. This may sound dark - but it's a reality that will happen and perhaps I'm just preparing myself from now for whenever it may happen.

Have you found yourself grieving ? Or know someone who is grieving ? What did you do to cope with the grieving process ?

F for Forgiveness

2014-04-07T14:00:00.000+05:30

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over - you cannot move forward. - Steve Maraboli

Over the years, we've all been hurt by someone at some point or another; or had our hearts and trust broken. The pain that you felt - perhaps lingered on too long - to a point that it's hard to let go ? Think about it for a minute and ask yourself - have you really forgiven the person who made you feel that way ?

That inability to let go is what causes us to be unhappy; can cause a strain on new relationships; and even make us reluctant to be open to new people because we're afraid of the 'hurt' that it might cause. This is WHY we must learn to be able to truly forgive (from within) so that we can move on and let go.

I've heard people say 'but if I forgive X it means that what they did was okay' .. that's not the case. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you forget what has happened - it just means that you are allowing yourself to let go of the anger and pain that is most likely holding you back from better things in life.

The act of forgiveness is a process - it's not immediate. Just because we've decided to forgive someone doesn't mean that the feelings of hurt, anger, or pain aren't there. Those feelings don't go away overnight. But they will - because you have to remind yourself that you have let that go and that person is no longer able to hurt you any more.

Is there someone you need to forgive ? Why not write a blank cheque of forgiveness to this person and cancel their debt by listing the things they have done to hurt you and then scratching 'cancelled' across it. You'll be doing yourself a big favour by releasing yourself of the grudge within yourself.

Are you the type of person who forgives, forgets or says f*ck it ? One of my Guest Bloggers' wrote about The Importance of Forgiveness sometime ago which is a good read; and you should also read 'Letters to Self : Forgiveness' and 'Is It Time to Forgive' when you get a chance

E for Exercise

2014-04-05T10:39:00.000+05:30

Those who think they have no time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness. - Edward Stanley, Earl of Derby

Yes I said Exercise.

Most of us have a pretty hectic lifestyle. A lot of us like the idea of being fit & healthy but don't seem to find the time to fit in any form of exercise into our schedules. It could be because of the long hours at work; or because you're a working parent with boisterous kids; or the gym fees are too expensive - basically we make excuses to avoid getting fit.

I've always been an athletic person through school, university and even the first few years of my career. Then the working hours got longer; I started travelling more and I found (and still find) myself exercising less than I used to. These days I joke with my gym trainers that I can work out for 6 months at a stretch but the minute the event season kicks in - I can't find the time for the gym.

Exercise doesn't mean going to a gym. It could be as simple as taking a 20-30 minute walk every day or incorporating a 20 minute yoga session at home. What about joining a class like Kick boxing or Zumba ? I know of someone who does pull-ups on the train on the way to work. I know a self-employed Mom with teenagers who kicks ass at Crossfit twice a week and plays soft ball once a week. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it. It's about believing in yourself and having the confidence to go out there and just do it !

I've found that home work-outs can be pretty effective if you are on a budget or you feel that you don't have the time to hit the gym or when you travel a lot for work. There are tons of free workouts available online - my personal favourites' are HasFit and Melissa Benders Workouts - and I use them myself whenever I'm unable to get to a gym. If you enjoy yoga but can't find the time to go for a class - why not stream or download some great yoga classes from YogaDownload.com or YogaYak.com

If you don't like working out alone - get hold of a friend to join you for a walk or to take a class together. Working out with someone else is extremely motivating and allows you to be accountable for something you have committed to.

What kind of exercise do you incorporate into your daily life ? Are you getting enough exercise ? What kind of exercise do you enjoy or think you would like to try ?

D for Detox

2014-04-04T08:31:00.000+05:30

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

The word 'detox' can be pretty scary and daunting. When I talk about 'detox' - I'm not talking about any crazy or over-the-top detox involving calorie counting; or just drinking green juices or eating only specific foods or following any kind of diet trend (i.e. cabbage soup diet). I'm referring to a more gentle detox that you can incorporate into your life that will leave your body (and mind) feeling energized, clean and refreshed.

The way I see it is that we have one body to live with so it's about time we start taking care of it given the amount of abuse our bodies withstand on a day-to-day basis.

Our skin and our livers take the brunt of the all the toxins that we create within ourselves and that we are exposed to. Something as simple as 'dry brushing' your skin even once a week with a bristle brush will help improve the circulation and blood flow in your body and leave you with healthier looking skin !

I lost my Dad to liver cirrhosis a few months ago and it fully struck me that the liver has this formidable task of detoxifying everything that we put into our bodies. Given the lifestyle most of us Gen Y & Z have - our livers are probably working in overdrive and there's a limit to how much toxin the liver can handle. So over the last month, I've been on a personal 'detox' mission wherein I'm giving my liver a break from alcohol - it's been 37 days and counting !!

So it's a good idea to try to indulge in any simple detox as often as you can. With the Indian culture - there are various forms of fasting across castes and cultures which are considered to be a form of detox. If that seems hard to understand - think about it like Lent where you give up something you really enjoy. One of my friends has given up both alcohol and any form of dessert for 40 days !!

It's the little things that make a difference to our bodies :

Starting your day with a glass of hot water with some lemon can help kick start your metabolism.
Drink more water every day ! It's funny how we all forget to drink water. It helps flush out toxins.
Eat more fruit and veggies.
If you are a non-vegetarian; you may want to consider being vegetarian once a week just to give your body a breather.
If you are a party person like me - you should give your liver a break and abstain from alcohol for some time.
If you are a smoker - and thinking about cutting back how much you smoke - a detox is a good way to kick-start that. It doesn't mean you go cold turkey; but you can reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke per day or if you have the will-power; decide that you will only smoke on alternative days or not smoke at all for X days a week.

For more ideas, hop on over to The Rising Spoon and read about 15 Ways to Detox Naturally - I'm sure you'll find something that suits you.

Have you ever tried to detox your body ? What kind of detox were you involved in ? Did you see any changes to your lifestyle ? Did the detox make a difference to you ? Or do you not believe in any form of detox ? Please feel free to share other detox tips in the comments.

C for Confidence

2014-04-03T21:30:00.000+05:30

Confidence comes not from knowing you know everything, but from knowing you can handle what comes up. - Donn King

What comes to mind when you think of the word 'Confidence' ? Who comes to mind when you think about 'Confident People' ? What is it about that person that makes you think they are confident ?

Confidence is knowing what you are good at; knowing the value that you can provide to a situation; and the ability to convey this to others by way of speech, mannerisms and body language. Confidence also indicates that you are aware of your weaknesses and the ability to accept that your point of view may not be the only one around. [Let's not confuse confidence with arrogance]

Sometimes I think of life as one big obstacle course. Once you have accepted that life is going to throw the good, the bad and the ugly at you; you need to start believing that you can get through it no matter what - and that is confidence.

Personally - I'm a confident person. I'm very comfortable with myself and my point of view on various topics; and I'm not afraid to ask questions or learn about the subject areas that are not my forte. Over the years I've learned that unless one is willing to take a risk - you'll never know what the outcome was (and that may leave some feelings of regret at some point in time). Just remember that nothing can substitute experience.

A simple example. If you're the kind of person who loves the idea of exploring new countries but can't find a have a travel companion - why not go traveling on your own ? The idea can seem daunting but think about all the people you will meet and all the places that you will see. Once you get the flight booking done - it's just about sorting out your accommodation; then heading over to TripAdvisor to check out places to visit; maybe join a social network where you plan to visit and meet a few people. Once you start setting small goals for yourself - everything falls in place. So just be confident. Life is about doing things now and not letting opportunities pass you by.

What about you ? How confident are you as an individual ? Have you ever felt a lack of self-confidence ? What did you do to overcome that ?