Derek's Discourse

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 22 May 2021 22:11:00 -0500

Post 300

While I've had this blog for many years, I stopped actively posting a while go, only posting sporadic thoughts here and there, and not following any particular format. The reason why is because posting began to feel more like a time-consuming chore than a joy, a must-do, a box to be tic'd.

I've posted about everything from tech to theology to politics and everything in-between. I let my domain expire and went back to the blogspot prefix. So, is this the final nail in the coffin for The Discourse? Is it still worth talking about?

I think yes, but I've decided that rather than talk to you, I'm going to start talking to myself, for myself. I want this to be a time I enjoy, without caring who cares or what they think.

So, that's the future...want to get to know me a little better? Stick around.

Community Churches

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 23 Nov 2019 00:10:00 -0600

Connected Community-Cultural Cure

Church

I’ve recently, over the past few years, been attending Community focused churches. Prior to this, I’ve attended what might be described as church-to-community churches. While both are focused on spreading the gospel and equipping the saints for the work of the ministry, they go about it in two different ways.

Church-to-Community

This model, (and I just made up the name because, well, I can’t think of what else to call them,) is focused on starting and ending with the church building. Most activities are focused or held at a central hub, in most cases the church building, and thus the focus of the body is to get others within the walls of the church.

While nothing is wrong with this model in a vacuum, it fails to take into account the modern culture which naturally mistrusts large institutions and does not have any preconceived notions of trust when it comes to previous pillars of truth. Therefore an organization that starts and ends big is almost at a disadvantage when it comes to creating community.

Community-to-Community

A community-to-community model is similar to, but not the same as, a house church model. Community models start in homes, or at the very least have home meetings as the central theme of their model. Unlike house church models, however, they do have one central hub or location which is used to facilitate connection, teaching, and worship...but little else.

Instead of creating special functions within the church building, community members are expected to spread out and participate in functions already occurring within the community as a way to impact the community with the gospel via connection, injection, and participation. It starts and ends with the community, is outward-facing

Consider the below drawings as an example. First, Community Focused…

Notice in my sad drawing, how the church is outward focused and facing...toward community. Now consider the church focused group…

Notice how in this group it is the community that is expected to come to the church?

So, is one superior to the other?

No, I don’t believe that at all. In fact, in some cases, the church focused model may be the best option. However, I would argue that in a general sense for today’s culture one is far more likely to create and maintain authentic relationships capable of gospel-level change utilizing a community-based model, where the main events are focused outside, not inside the church.

Next up?

Next up I will discuss how Genesis and separation from community were some of the first and longest-lasting consequences of sin.

The Great Distraction

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 30 Mar 2019 04:32:00 -0500

It's not just a sex problem, it's an intimacy problem.

Recently the Washington Post published an article in their business section, discussing how Americans , especially older (read: Baby Boomer) and younger millenals, are having less sex than ever. The Post pointed to a number of factors; including later coupling and more "entertainment" choices ( Netflix and such) as the culprits for the lack of interest in advanced snuggling amongst the latter group. But I argue that the reason for this downward trend is lack of real intimacy. Here are a few things that I believe lead to a lack of true intimacy.

Distractions= Avoidance

When you are intimate with someone, physical or otherwise, you are usually going to be faced with some type of conflict, albeit large or small. You may struggle with listening or be a selfish lover or a whole host of other issues. The point is, when you open yourself up to intimacy, you open yourself up to vulenribility. You are forced to face those deep dark things you don't like about you. And frankly, faced with that possibility, who wouldn't rather binge on Bosch (which of course, is the best Cop Drama around, available on Amazon Prime :P )

Devices= Secrecy

One glaring issue, imho, that the article fails to address is the online omnipresence of porn. I mean, why face the aforementioned when you can simply tell a complete cam stranger to do what you want, no questions asked as long as you got the cash. Not to mention the massive amounts of free content out there. The truth is real relationships again require openess, vulenribility, work, and trust. Porn requires none of that and is there, ready and waiting 24/7 on everyone's pocket computers.

Debt and Dissapointment= Drudgery

One thing the article does point out is that later coupling plus lack of gainful employment is a big reason for the decline. I'm cheating a bit here because technically this falls under the headline of distractions, just a more focused look at one particular distraction; work and money woes. Young people today are saddled with tons of debt and a bleak market which is slowly being take over by robots. (read: automation) With no time to reflect, relax, and most important relate to one another. And so drudgery slowly sets in.

So what's the big solution?

Focus=Courage

Yes, it is a fearful thing to be confronted by those ugly parts of ourselves we don't like, but one doesn't have to be controlled by fear. Taking time to focus on yourself and build community and communion with others is the first step towards a happy, healthy you, and yes, even more time for the aforementioned advanced snuggles. For me, I take great comfort in building community with my local church. They help me grow and stay on the path to being a better father, husband, and member of my community along with a better disciple to Christ.

Another thing that helps is taking a small amount of time to meditate each day. Apps like Headspace or Insight Timer are great tools for this. Moreover, if the thought of reflection or vulnerability are simply too overwhelming for you, I recommend professional counseling, which I am a big fan of. To this day, I still use the app BetterHelp to speak to a therapist on a regular basis. Whichever you do it, take courage and take time to focus. Don't live a distracted life.

And that's pretty much it. As for the other two issues, put down the device, unplug for a day, and seek accountability and transparency in your relationships. As for the debt, I'm right there with you, it's tough...but set and stick to a budget, make tough cuts where needed and don't allow stuff to clutter your soul and your life.

My Closing Thoughts and Further Reading

While it may seem strange that I used an article about sex to delve into topics on reflection, money and community, it's really not as strange as it seems upon first blush. We have less sex as a nation because we are not intimate...and we are not intimate because we are distracted....and well, you get the picture. So what's stopping you today from being more intimate, more open and more satisfied?

Check out: Sacred Marriage

24/6 (Sabbath)

Why Don't We Listen Better

Sheet Music

Community Discussions and the danger of Echo Chambers

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Tue, 26 Feb 2019 12:15:00 -0600

Firstly, yes, it's been forever since I have posted, and I apologize. Life happens. I am well, and I hope you are as well. Let's jump back in shall we? (longer, "Where I've been" post to follow sometime in the future)

What's a Community Discussion?

It's a discussion on current topics that may otherwise be avoided due to a false sense of politeness or social decorum. After all, we aren't supposed to discuss religion or politics, right? WRONG!

If we never learn to converse on the treacherous topics, we never learn to grow, in spirit or truth. Instead we hide in an echo chamber...a safe place where everyone agrees and it's always US vs Them...and that is a dangerous place to live. In an age of tribalism, God's people must stand for unity, truth, grace and compassion to all.

It's not about proving a point...

Discussions are not debates. Yes, disagreements will arise and emotions may even run high, but that's okay. Discussions are not zero sum endeavors (We win, they loose) . Instead they are more like investigations...inquiries into the mind and soul of your neighbor.

Making the Most of it...

Firstly, as mentioned above, Investigate. This requires listening with your heart and mind. Don't just wait to talk and tear down. Look to the heart first, the head second. Questions like:

That's an interesting opinion/thought/statement. How did you come to that conclusion?
How long have you thought this way? Is this a belief you have always held or did you develop it later in life? (You never know if a major event or trauma caused someone to change their mind on a long held belief.)

Use Feeling Words!

So many people avoid the use of feeling words, but they are great ways to connect heart to soul with a neighbor. Simple examples:

Sally, let me check in with you...it sounds like this issue is very frustrating for you, I hear some frustration and anger in your voice.
Jim, I can see some tears and hear some trembling in your tone...this issue is very personal to you...do you want to share about that?

Attack ideas (with love) , never people.

If need-be, dangerous and troublesome ideas or those that do not bring us closer to Truth can be gently attacked. A good and loving way to approach the topic:

Bill, thank you for sharing. Let me make sure I heard you right (accurately recap idea, wait for affirmative response) Well, I have to respectfully disagree, It's my understanding that the facts state (gently give your side)

End with Love

It's never easy to share opinions, thoughts or ideas especially ones that people hold very near and dear. People stake their very identity in long held traditional belief systems. Something along the lines of this can prove very loving and helpful...

Whitney, even though we strongly disagreed on some issues tonight, I want you to know that I love you and am thankful for you. I am going to go home and reflect on some of the things you shared. I am glad you are here and grateful for your friendship.

While it may seem axiomatic, it is nevertheless important to reaffirm your love and friendship before the sun sets.

May God bless you richly in your future discussions.

For Further Reading

Check out this book for more info on listening better. (It is also available on the Liby or Hoopla Library Apps. Check your AppStore/Playstore for more info)

Teach me how to Duggar

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 23 May 2015 02:12:00 -0500

Forgiveness doesn’t mean freedom from natural consequences…

For Those Unaware…

Josh Duggar is part of a very large family which had, until very recently, its own reality television show on TLC. Josh was also a high ranking member in a Christian para-political organization, the Family research council.

So why are you writing about him?

Recently it came to light that in 2004, at the age of 14, Josh molested several of his sisters and at least one other non-family member female. Furthermore, it was noted that the family did not immediately go to the authorities and that the one police officer the father (Jim Bob) did confide in (Officer Hutchens) did not take any official action but only gave Josh a “stern talking to”.
It turns out, Officer Hutchens himself had serious sexual issues as he is now in prison on a 55 year term for possession and distribution of child porn.

So What’s the Point?

The point is this: Josh did some very bad things but it appears, from official reports, that the family, rather than take swift action, sent Josh to live with a friend for a few weeks to help remodel some houses. No, you didn’t read that wrong, that was the only punishment he received after molesting four of his sisters.
Why didn’t Josh go see an actual counselor? Why didn’t they file a police report for over a year? What, if any, changes did they make in their living situation to ensure their four daughters were safe?

But Josh said He felt bad and sought forgiveness

These are worthwhile and biblical actions, we should seek forgiveness from those we hurt. But scripture is clear about the fact that we also must face the natural consequences of our actions and furthermore if we break the law of the land we are under the law of the land.
Yet I continue to see many of my Christian brethren display outrage….not at Josh but at anyone who speaks the plain facts of the situation. Josh molested 5 girls and faced almost zero consequences for almost a decade.

He was just a teenager….can’t we move on?

He didn’t steal a candy bar, he felt up his sisters…four of them. Furthermore, TLC has every right to pull their show. They don’t owe him or the family anything. It would be insanity for them to continue to employee the Duggars when clearly the entire family was involved in sweeping this under the rug. What other choice do they have?
Yet we as Christians continue to buy into this whole notion that asking forgiveness and feeling bad are magic wands that make it all go away.

What do you mean…Forgive and Forget right?

If I drink and drive and kill someone, the family can forgive me, but their son or daughter is still dead. Consequences of actions don’t change when one is forgiven. Forgiveness means to let go of any deserved wrath, anger, hatred, or malice toward the person, even if they deserve it. It is acknowledging that we all are faulty, sinful, fleshly creatures who make mistakes.
But governments are also a gift of God for the orderly procedure of man. Consequences and punishments, and justice systems exist (even bad ones) in order that there can be some level of peace and normalcy in the world.

But Jim Bob went to the police…

Yeah, a year after it happened. And only after emails to his show threatened to expose him and his family. Furthermore, Jim Bob failed to take adequate action to fully protect the victims, his own daughters. Sending someone away for a few months to a friend’s house to help him “remodel” some houses is not sufficient.
All sin begins the mind, and then becomes action. When that level of sin (sexual assault/molestation) becomes action, it has spread to serious levels, for even the Bible says that “sexual sin is not like other sin”.

Would you turn your son into the police?

A fair question, but at the very least he could have chosen an inpatient treatment facility or some other long term care that both sought to correct the issue long term and protect his daughters.
Furthermore, even after the incident occurred, just 4 years later, Jim Bob chose to move forward with the reality show. And when he chose that path, he chose to expose his own family to the public, therefore one has no leg to stand on when they complain about something like this going public.

A Final Word

We, as Christians, cannot scream persecution when one is suffering for their own actions and their own sin. Nor can we display hatred or anger toward an entity like TLC when they do what is most natural and normal in this situation. We can continue to pray for the Duggar’s and their family that this would draw them closer to God, but let’s all calm down with the persecution talk.
The facts are: Fourteen year’s old is a not a child, Josh knew what he was doing. Josh molested four members of his own family…so it didn’t just happen one time. Josh never spent a day inside a prison cell for his crimes. Josh and his family have lived a very comfortable upper-middle class life thanks to this TV show.
Because they are public figures and beloved, they will most likely continue to do well. Actions have consequences and if the worse that happens to a child molester is his TV show gets cancelled and he can’t be an executive at the FAMILY Research Council…then let’s all be honest….he got it pretty easy.

Government Response

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Wed, 11 Mar 2015 17:56:00 -0500

Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. 2 So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished

Romans 13:1-2 (cf 1 Peter 2, Mt 22:21)

Yes, it has been quite some time, but here I am once again trying to get back into writing. It is cathartic for me and I pray it has some value for you. So let’s jump in…

Christians and Obama

It is obvious that the Christian right doesn’t like our current President, President Obama. He has been called everything from the worst President in history to the Anti-Christ himself. And while we live in a country that champions freedom of speech one has to wonder if these types of assaults are biblical? In addition to the scripture above 1 Timothy also speaks on the matter:

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 2 Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. 3 This is good and pleases God our Savior, 4 who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth. 5 For, There is one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and humanity—the man Christ Jesus. 6 He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. This is the message God gave to the world at just the right time. 7 And I have been chosen as a preacher and apostle to teach the Gentiles this message about faith and truth. I’m not exaggerating—just telling the truth.
8 In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy. (1 Tim 2:1-8)

Paul instructs Timothy to pray for all people, including kings, and to give thanks for those who are in authority. And lest you think Paul and Timothy were blessed with righteous leaders I urge you to Google “Nero” and see what you find.

Policy not People

Americans are blessed to live in a country that affords them the right to openly criticize policy through a variety of mechanisms such as protests or interaction with their legislative rep. And I personally believe one should be informed and actively involved in the governmental process. But being involved doesn’t include hurling stones in the form of slander, gossip, or outright lies.

But What About…

Those times when the apostles disobeyed the authorities? Yeah about that…let’s examine the parameters of “breaking the law”

It was always to preach Christ

Never once did the apostles break the law to further themselves or a political agenda, it was always to preach Christ

They suffered serious consequences

When they did break the law, they were beaten, stoned, flogged, imprisoned and according to tradition eventually executed. In other words if you really feel God is calling you to disobey government then be ready to face the consequences and give glory to God, don’t complain.

So what should I do?

Good question, what should one do when faced with leadership they feel is less than desirable? Here are a few ideas…

Pray

For starters you can pray for your leaders. Ask that God would give them wisdom and courage so they are able to make wise decisions and to do what is best for the country

Criticize don’t Complain

Criticizing a policy points out its flaws and offers constructive solutions. Complaining about a policy points out that you don’t like it and doesn’t help anyone. Research the policy and look up alternatives. Contact your local, state, and if necessary your federal reps.

Grassroots

While federal government gets the most attention, the truth is the average person is far more likely to have an effect if they make their voices heard at the local level. Change a county and you could just change the country.

Thank God…Move on

If you have prayed, informed yourself, voted, petitioned and protested and it still didn’t go your way, give thanks to God that He is still on the throne and move on with your ministry. Whining and complaining about things beyond your control or living your life in fear is not scriptural. God has it all under control and Christians are to live in a way that demonstrates this to the outside world. Trust God, and move on.

Watch Your Toes…

While I am in no way intending to step on any toes here, I am trying to get people to think before they attack. Too many of my Christian brothers and sisters are living in fear and anger. Dear brothers and sisters, as the old saying goes “Let go…and Let God”.

God bless.

Plainly Spoken…A Moderate view on Phil Robertson

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 21 Dec 2013 20:13:00 -0600

Words have consequences…free speech is an oxymoron-there is always a cost.

First things first, I am a born-again Christian attending a Southern Baptist Seminary. I am a staunch defender of Free Speech even in the most vile of circumstances. (see this article) so take that with a grain of salt. That being said, I fully defend A&E’s right to suspend and even fire Phil. Say What?

Let’s look at the arguments for keeping him and break them down….

A&E Violated Phil’s Free Speech

Sorry, but this is simply incorrect. “Free Speech” relates to the government and its people. The constitution says nothing regarding an employee-employer relationship. Employer’s have every right to restrict the speech of its employees with everything from gag orders to moral clauses in contracts. Phil said some things that A&E felt hurt their brand and so they suspended him.

A&E is persecuting Christians

While persecution is somewhat subjective, this argument doesn’t hold much weight. They have had this show for two years and shown the family praying on it almost every episode. If A&E hated Christ and Christians that much they would have simply cancelled the show a long time ago. Also, with people being tortured, killed, and rejected by their families on a daily basis, I personally find it hard to feel sorry for a reality show star who got suspended from his job for saying crude remarks.

Phil was fired for speaking Truth.

Not in my estimation. If you read the entire article…Phil was pretty crude. We are called to speak the truth in love. Just speaking the truth is not biblical. If I were to be questioned and said something like “I just don’t see how anyone can love gluttons…they are just so fat and ugly…people who treat their body as a temple are so much sexier…but hey, fat people are sinful…it’s illogical…it’s sin.” Well, that may be truthful in my eyes…but is it helpful? Edifying? Was Phil looking to win people to Christ or to bash homosexuals? Truth without love is loud, clanging symbols.

We Should Boycott A&E…

and Cracker Barrel…and Wal-Mart…and Coca-Cola…and everyone who says “Happy Holidays”

Look, its your choice what you boycott and where you shop. But aren’t we called to live in this world and demonstrate hope, peace, faith, and love to the people? Instead of telling people what we are for (Truth, Love, Peace, Hope all found in Christ) we have become a fear mongering political movement that is scared of our own shadow. The world is the world and will always love the darkness. Let us not be afraid of it or curse it…but shine a light for all to see. The light of Hope…the light of Truth…the light of Christ.

In Jesus Name…?

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 21:50:00 -0500

From public prayer to private worship services, Chaplains are called upon to be the spiritual leaders and experts of their unit…so how then shall they pray?

Introduction

As I continue to move forward in the Chaplain Candidate program, I have noticed a debate regarding how one should pray during public functions, ie…group prayers outside of a traditional worship service involving those of multiple faith traditions.

Some are of the firm belief, nay, the conviction that all prayers must make mention of Jesus, the Christ, by name. Others believe no faith tradition should be lifted up over another and inclusion is the name of the game. Both sides have pros and cons which shall very briefly be examined now.

Pro Jesus

Firstly if called upon by the commander (typically a Cpt or above) of a unit to offer up a prayer for the unit, he/she is going to know your faith tradition.
Secondly, the first amendment ensures us the right to freely exercise our religion and speech.
Thirdly, we are called upon to not be ashamed or afraid of Christ’s name and are encouraged to ask for things in His name.

Pro Inclusion

Typically these functions are mandatory meaning all soldiers are required to attend so there will be many non-Christians there basically being forced to hear a prayer. Making a prayer so specific as to only be meaningful or impactful to Christians is not going to help build up the non-believing soldier. You are an officer and therefore represent a level of authority over the enlisted soldier.

What do you believe Chaplain Boy?

As usual, it wouldn’t be a DereksDiscourse post if I didn’t manage to annoy everyone at the same time. I never set out to do so, it just seems to happen. I fall somewhere in-between for the following reasons:

I do pray to a specific God (Pro Jesus)
- Clearly when I am speaking I am talking to Jehova God, the God of the Bible so there is not much I can do to hide that fact.
I am interested in ministering to all soldiers, even non-believers (Pro Inclusion)
- I want all my soldiers to know that I care about them very deeply and want the chance to help them in any way I can. I am more interested in their heart than I am exercising my 1st Amendment rights.
God is a lot more interested in my heart than my words (Pro Inclusion)
- Just because I chose to say “In your name” or “In His name” doesn’t make my prayer any less meaningful. I pray from my heart, not a formula.

In Conclusion

I want soldiers to feel free to come to me no matter what they believe. My actions and my heart and the power of the Holy Spirit are going to mean a lot more than the formula of my prayer. I will pray in Christ’s name during my worship service and pray “In Your name” during public prayer functions. “But Derek, what about your 1st Amendment rights?” I gave up my rights when I became a Christian. And I surrendered myself to the mission of Chaplaincy.

I firmly believe that God draws those to Himself whom He chooses. I am simply there to surrender to Him and love His people the best way I can. And while some may disagree, I am not interested in making people feel excluded just so I can exercise my rights. It isn’t about me, it never will be. I will become all things to all people so Christ can save them, not me.

Post Election Podcast-Points to Ponder

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 18:04:00 -0600

It had been awhile, so here are some of my thoughts on the post-election ferver. Forgive me if I sound harsh, I am just passionate regarding some of these issues.

Length is 10:30.

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Fat Gay Gossipy Liars-A case for love

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 7 Jul 2012 19:24:00 -0500

We wink at gluttony but picket the homosexuals...? Why

God Hates Fags...Pass the butter

Awhile back I typed up a post about how we as Christians tend to get caught up in what I call "Banner Issues". These issues typically reflect the current Republican talking points and are pseudo-biblical at best. In our time the banner issue is homosexuality. I am writing about it again because recently Craig Gross of XXX Church recently penned a phenomenal article for CNN regarding our fascination with homosexuality.

Sin is Sin

In his article he points out that the average Christian would look at a 300lb pastor, believe he has no sin problem, and that he's heading straight for heaven. That very same group would look at a man who struggles with same-sex attraction and condemn him straight to hell. They would also more than likely avoid him, and treat him with utter disdain. Why? Is not gluttony is a sin? How about Gossip, Slander, Hate, Lust, And yet most Christians wink at the aforementioned sins but burn with rage at the "homosexual agenda".

The Sin Problem

It has always been my belief that our job as Christians is to tell the good news, aka, the gospel. Yes, part of the gospel is confronting the lost with the problem of sin, but nowhere are we urged to take on the burden of taking away that sin before we show love. We are to show love at all times to all people, even our enemies, those who persecute us, and those who treat us unfairly. As Craig states in his article

The goal shouldn’t be to change any one's sexuality. Ultimately, I believe homosexuality gets blown way out of proportion in our churches. If we would all see gays as fellow sinners instead of “others,” there wouldn't be a need for gay outreach, because they would already be incorporated into our community based on a shared need for Christ. God loves gays and Jesus is for them. God loves the fat preacher. Homosexual activity and overeating are both sins – just like speeding, gossip, lying and cheating. I think I did all of those just today.

What's Your Point?

My point is simple, you are a sinner who could never do anything worthy of God's love. And so is the homosexual. Now more than ever people are in need of true, authentic love and the Truth. Salvation, for all mankind, (yes including gays), is by Salvation through faith in Christ...Alone!

Engaging

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 16:51:00 -0600

Twas a snowy, cold day in Northeast PA.
My girlfriend and I found ourselves,
by my design, in a local park...
her house not too far away.
Her eyes were glowing, her cheeks were red
her heart was full...the park was dead.

This very same park, not long ago
watched me confess my love.
"I love you" to her I said for the very first time
and offered my arms as a place of rest...
her tears caught by my willing chest.

Flash forward to Feb 18th, 2006.
I grabbed her cold hand
to warm her soul
as the sweat poured from my nervous palm
my composure was nearly gone.
I stopped along the snow-covered path
and kissed the white ground with a trembling knee.
The father was okay with me...but would she be?

A tiny black box...A much bigger question
Would she say yes? Would she say no?
Was this really happening!?
its all a blur...spare the look in her eye.
For when she spied the ring...my oh my
if ever i believed that i could bend time
it would be this moment.
Yes I am certain it slowed just for me.

I cannot remember how I asked or what I said
I was busy staring at eternity instead
She tucked in her lips, ever so slightly
and closed her eyes...but not too tightly
and with a simple nod and a single tear
She gave me joy everlasting that has continued
year after year.

Candidate Program

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:48:00 -0600

Becoming a Chaplain is can be a long and confusing process, so here are the basics…

As many of you know, I am in the process of becoming a Chaplain. Friends and loved ones will often ask “So, how is the whole Chaplain thing going? Are you a Chaplain yet?” Well, ….no, I am not.…not yet.

It is actually a very long a tedious process to become one, and it takes many years. Here is the Reader’s Digest version of what I must do according to the Army to become a Chaplain…via the Candidate program

Complete a Bachelor’s Degree
Get Approval from a DOD recognized organization to enter program
Get medically approved (height, weight, body fat, physical, etc…)
Get accepted to seminary
Write a one page paper on why Chaplaincy
Complete an SF-86 SSBI (background check/security clearance)
Get ministry related reference letters
It is recommended that at this point I get licensed as a minister (not ordained)
- At this point I can now enter the National Guard or Reserves as a Candidate…a 2nd Lt who is not yet a full Chaplain and non-deployable
Get at least 72 hours of Masters level seminary credit
(my endorsers require 90)
Get ordained
After getting said hours…it is highly recommended (borderline required) to get two years of ministry related experience while I put my packet together
Apply for active duty

It is at this point I can officially become a Chaplain. So, as you can see, it will take many years (around 5-6) before I am done.

And it is worth every minute…And I cannot do it without the help and calling of God, the amazing and undeserved support of family and friends and the leadership and council of my elders and pastors. I covet your prayers.

Merry Christmas-2011

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 11:17:00 -0600

A very merry Christmas to all my friends and family. I hope this finds you well and closer to Christ than you were at the start of the year. Gal. 4:5

So what’s new in 2011?

Well, Derek has firmly committed to becoming a Chaplain with the US Army. It will be a five-six year process as he must have a 93 credit hour Masters of Divinity plus two years of post M-DIV experience before he can go active duty.

During that time he will be a Chaplain Candidate with the local National Guard unit as a Lieutenant. Derek has been approved by the North American Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention to move forward with his plans. He is recommended by the elder Council of Carpenter's Way Baptist Church, an SBC church and accepted to Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary.

The last big hurdle for him is getting back in shape, which he began doing a few months ago and so far he has lost 20lbs and feels great. Please be in continued prayers for his physical, spiritual and emotional development.

Jamie

Jamie has been doing wonderful this year. She was recently promoted at work to Teller Supervisor and works with an amazing staff at Genco Federal Credit Union. It is her first real supervisory role, and she is younger than a majority of her staff, so she asks that you pray for wisdom to make the right decisions and strength to follow through with them.

Also through Jamie’s continued support and excellent financial prowess she has been able to save enough money to purchase a keyboard and plans on taking piano lessons in 2012 so she may return to her love of music.

Another passion of Jamie’s is dance, and she has scouted out a local dance studio and will be returning to her love of ballet.

She fully supports and has been instrumental in helping her husband and his decision to return to the military as a Chaplain.

Both

Jamie and Derek both are anxious for what 2012 holds. There will be many changes in their lives and it will more than likely be one of the most dramatic and life changing years of their lives. We humbly covet your prayers for guidance, direction, wisdom and mercy as we move forward. May God bless you and your family this upcoming year.

Chaplaincy? How Dare You!

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Thu, 6 Oct 2011 03:13:00 -0500

Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t think so. Jews, Muslims, Wiccans Oh MY! How can you even think of being a Chaplain? For the beard of course!

Misconceptions:

“How do you feel about having to marry homosexuals?”
“How do you feel about saying Muslim Prayers?”

I won’t have to marry homosexuals and I will never be forced to pray a Muslim prayer. The Army is clear about one thing: No Chaplain will ever be forced to pray a prayer or perform any ceremony which directly violates his or her own faith or the beliefs of the endorsing agency of said Chaplain.

I am endorsed by the North American Mission Board, a division of the Southern Baptist Convention. I have been examined and recommended by the elders of Carpenter's Way Baptist Church, an SBC church of which I am a member in good standing.

The bottom line is I have had to answer a myriad of questions regarding my theology and there is no way any of the folks who approved me would be okay with me doing anything that violated my faith.

But I heard…

Yes, I know what you have heard, especially regarding don’t ask don’t tell. While it is true that homosexual soldiers can now serve freely in the military and Chaplains now have the option to marry said soldiers if they so choose…it is not, nor do I believe it will ever be, mandatory for any Chaplain to perform said services…because of the aforementioned paragraph and the whole violating your faith thing.

So, what about them Muslims?

They need the love of Christ just like any other person. As a soldier, they will see and experience many stressful situations and endure much hardship. No matter what ones personal beliefs or faith system, they still need edification, encouragement, care, and concern.

I would be glad to put my arm around any soldier, including a Muslim, and let them know they are loved and cared for…that I will pray for them and their family. That if they ever need to talk, they can come to me. I would hope any Christ follower would do the same.

Would you give them The Qur'an?

You bet. Now that is part of my job. I am to ensure that all soldiers are given access to the proper items to practice their faith freely. A soldier, regardless of his faith. deserves access to these items. Restricting access is both unloving and unconstitutional.

Denying a soldier a right to a Satanic Bible, a Wiccan’s SpellBook, The Book of Morman, or a Watchtower Magazine does nothing to bring them closer to Christ. In fact it only makes them even more bitter towards Christians and simply reinforces the “Us V. Them” stereotype.

Can You Proselytize?

Not directly, no. But neither can a lot of people at a lot of jobs. A school teacher can’t attempt to directly convert his/her students in the classroom, can they? Of course not! But what they can do is offer love, care, concern, and dedication to the task at hand. And I have found that these alone can be enough to engage the conversation that can lead them to Christ.

The point is if I show each and every soldier that I truly care about them…that I pray for them…that I am there for them…and that they are loved…those that are seeking the Truth will come and ask me about Him. They will ask me why I am the way I am, why I love them, why I care, why I pray. And it is then I will have the opportunity to freely share my personal testimony.

In Conclusion…

I hope this very brief article has helped some of you who continue to question my decision understand why I am choosing the path of Chaplaincy. I feel a calling to serve my fellow brothers and sisters in arms and show them the path that will lead them to adoption into God’s wonderful family. And all men and women need Christ…regardless of their religious background and beliefs.

Essential Skills for New Husbands-Basic Finance

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Tue, 9 Aug 2011 15:26:00 -0500

Essential Skills for new husbands is a series I will be doing over the next few posts to hopefully help new husbands avoid the land-mines of new marriage that I myself have stepped on or near. I am in no way an expert, but a fellow traveler on the road to marital bliss. Parts 1 and 2 can be found here and here.

So, you are newly married. For some of you, this will be your first time living out on your own, paying your own bills, etc...while others of you having been roughing it "in the real world" for quite some time. Regardless, marriage brings on a whole new set of responsibilities and societal pressures that many are not fiscally prepared to handle. Here are a few tips to help you out...

Live on Less

Simple, yet so hard for many of us to do. If we can afford it now, we want it. Keep in mind that you are now responsible for the well being of another...and possible more in the near future if you plan on having children. What if your wife gets sick? What if you blow out a tire or the battery goes out? What if you get sick? What if you get fired or demoted at work due to cutbacks? You should be putting a healthy amount of your paycheck (or both your paychecks if you are D.I.N.K.S.) into a nice savings account. Dave Ramsey, a well known financial guru, says at minimum you should have $1,000 emergency fund to start...and then as you pay off debt you should begin saving even more so that you could live for at least 6 months with no income.

Pack a Lunch

Again, a simple way to save money that most people look past. Eating out not only costs you more money now (immediate, tangible food cost) but more money later (health issues). Pack yourself some nice leftovers or a nice healthy sandwich with some fruit, cheese sticks and other healthy goodies. You will feel better during the day and you will be saving money.

Ignore Social Pressures

Many new couples struggle with this one. They think that since the Johnson's just purchased a $200,000 Victorian complete with garage and front lawn that they in turn need to do the same. If you can't afford something, don't put yourself in dangerous debt (mortgages that exceed 35% of your income, for example) just to impress people you don't really like. The Johnson's may come from old money that you didn't know about, or maybe they are in debt themselves...it doesn't matter. Live your life wisely, based on what is best for you and your wife...not what society tells you is important, or that which simply inflates your ego.

On that same note...don't be pressured into having children early just because your mother-in-law wants a grand-baby or your sister wants a niece. If you are not ready for the fiscal challenges a child brings...you should not be attempting to have children. While no one can be fully ready to have children...you can be better prepared if you wait until you have your fiscal house in order.

Invest in Benefits

Many jobs will offer medical, dental and life insurance policies. Some may offer IRA, 401k, and stock options as well. You should invest some serious time in studying these benefits. It may seem like a large chunk of your paycheck is being eaten by the costs of said benefits...but there is no substitution for the security of knowing your family will be taken care of should a medical emergency arise.

Invest in Transportation

If you live in an area that offers public transit...I recommend using it. The amount of money and time saved is usually worth it. If you live close enough, try biking to work. It will keep you healthy and save a ton on gas each year. If these are not viable options for you and you must use a vehicle...consider a motorcycle. I know, I know, but they are usually cheaper and much more fuel efficient than cars. If you have to use a car, take good care of it...check the oil, tire pressure and other vital areas regularly. Taking care of small problems before they become big ones can save you a lot of money and headache later.

For Further Reading...

Financial advice blogs are all over the net...I am not in any way an expert...so here are some great blogs for you to read...I hope this tiny snippet of advice has proven helpful.

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Essential Skills for New Husbands-Care & Concern

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 19:53:00 -0500

Essential Skills for new husbands is a series I will be doing over the next few posts to hopefully help new husbands avoid the landmines of new marriage that I myself have stepped on or near. I am in no way an expert, but a fellow traveller on the road to marital bliss.

How often as a husband have you said something similar to the following immediately after your wife shares a problem she is facing with you…

“Well honey, here are some ways you could alleviate that issue”
“You see sweetheart, here is where you went wrong”
“Beautiful, next time just do this…”

If you are anything like me, chances are you have made this marital blunder and have suffered the inevitable consequences that follow soon thereafter.
(This is part 2 of my series and builds off of part 1, which can be found here.)

Ears not Insights

When our wives communicate issues they are having to us, many times they simply want you to listen. They want to share something that is bothering them, that is on their mind. They want to vent about frustrations at work, with the children, or with a family member, etc…

It brings them a level of comfort to know that someone else is aware of the issue. It makes them feel like they aren’t struggling alone, and that their very best friend, you, is on their team. At this point, all they want is your attention. I know it is tough as many men tend to be problem solvers, but at this point the best thing to do is offer up care and concern not insightful analysis.

Shoulders not Solutions

Chances are, your wife already knows where she went wrong. Chances are she probably feels a combination of sorrow, regret, anger, embarrassment or a host of other emotions regarding her issue. Maybe she blew up at a co-worker or customer, or lost her temper with the kids, or had another fight with her mother.

The point is, now is not the time for lectures, but love. It will benefit everyone in the long run if you make it clear to her that no matter what, you are on her team, and you both are working towards the same goals. So before you go into your twelve step solution, complete with Power-Points and pneumonic devices, just wait a second. Give her the care and compassion she is craving.

So, Abstain from Advice?

No, not at all. This would be a terrible idea as you and her both will benefit greatly from working through life’s issues as a team, as a couple. Once your wife has unpacked her emotional burdens, here are some things you can do before offering your sagely counsel…

Gently kiss her check, offer her a hug
Reinforce your care and concern with statements like:
- “I’m sorry my love, that sounds like it was very draining on you”
- “Wow, work can be brutal sweetheart, what can I do right now to help you relax?”
- “Sounds like you had a rough day, how about dinner on me and maybe I can draw you a bath?”
Hold her

Again, as I said in the first post on this series…if a wife feels totally secure and loved, she will be much more likely to take what you say in a positive way.

What If She Asks…?

Well, what if she asks me “What do you think?” or “Was I right?” ? Well, that depends on the timeframe of the question. If the air is still tense and she is still “unpacking” emotionally, a response like “Let’s talk about that later, my main concern is about you…Are you alright?” or something along those lines will serve as a good deflection until deflation has occurred.

On the other hand, if the air has cooled and you have done your best to show care and compassion, gentle and loving advice can be useful. Just remember the gentle and loving part. When offering any kind of advice or insight, especially when it comes to your wife, here are some tips I have found helpful:

1. Wait Until She Asks

Pretty self-explanatory. If she wants your advice, she will ask for it. Offering it up without want will only prove to be fruitless at best and annoying at worst. If it is something that is ongoing and you feel she is unwilling or unable to seek counsel, that in and of itself is a whole separate issue that needs attention.

2. Peer, Not Professor

You are her teammate, not her coach. Offer your insight from a peer perspective. Don’t get caught in the trap on Monday-morning quarterbacking, or saying how you would have done it better.

You are not her, and no one knows what they would do if they were someone else…it is virtually impossible. So avoid the “If I were you” phrase.

3. After-Action Review

In the military, they have something known as AAR’s or After-Action reviews. The report seeks to answer three basic but very important questions:

What Happened?
Why it Happened?
How can it be done better?

This is a good way to go about most situations as it allows a lot of room for the participant, in this case your wife, to examine her actions in a objective manner. It encourages introspection and helps one learn from their own mistakes. Furthermore, it allows you as the husband to understand your wife’s thought process and offer insight only when necessary.

In Conclusion

In life, just like you, your wife is bound to encounter stress filled situations that drain her emotionally. When she shares these situations with you, your first response should not be to simply solve the issue. Instead you should listen to her concerns.

Secondly, you should offer genuine care, concern and compassion. Don’t rush to be Mr. Problem Solver. Once your wife has vented and seen that you care about her, she will ask for advice if she wants it.

Finally, when offering advice, do it as a peer, not as some wise old man who is better and smarter than your wife. Let her analyze the issue herself and only offer advice if she gets stuck on how she could have done better. You are a team.

Essential Skills For New Husbands-Communication

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 20:17:00 -0500

Essential Skills for new husbands is a series I will be doing over the next few posts to hopefully help new husbands avoid the landmines of new marriage that I myself have stepped on or near. I am in no way an expert, but a fellow traveller on the road to marital bliss.

“But honey, I didn’t say anything about your cooking.”
”Yes you did, you said you didn’t like the meal”
”Yes, the meal, the ingredients, not the way it was prepared”
”Oh, so then I guess I am just a bad wife then?”
Huh?
”Because I don’t even know what my own husband likes?”

That is an excerpt for a real conversation that led to an argument early on in my marriage. I honestly couldn’t fathom why my wife was so upset.

Rather than comfort her at this point and use this as an opportunity to remind her of what a great wife she was I chose instead to belittle her for being overly sensitive. Yeah, a real Casanova.

My primary concern at that moment was not for my wife…it was for my own pride. I was right, she was wrong and I was going to prove it… at any cost. Instead of listening to her, I simply formulated my argument whilst waiting for her to finish speaking. Big Mistake….

Listen, Don’t Hear

In case you haven’t heard…hearing and listening are two different things. I know for some it seems elementary, but for many it is not so simple. Listening involves your full, open-minded attention and focus, hearing requires functioning ears. You have to hear to listen but inversely you do not have to listen to hear.

Watch her body language, hear her tone, look into her eyes and take a few moments to ponder what she said. I know this may be hard, but don’t even think about your response until she finishes speaking!

It is a sign of respect when you allow her to finish speaking and take a few moments to formulate a response. This shows her you were listening and she will be more apt in return to listen to what you say and consider it carefully as well.

Transference + Projection = Interference

No, not a bunch of psyco-babble but real issues that can seriously hinder honest communication. First, some quick definitions…

Transference: the redirection of feelings and desires and especially of those unconsciously retained from childhood toward a new object
(ie…you automatically mistrust someone just because they look like or sound like a former spouse,girlfriend,or parent you didn’t like)
Projection: a psychological defense mechanism where a person sub-consciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other people.
(ie… a husband thinks about cheating on his wife, and with no evidence or provocation whatsoever begins to believe his wife is thinking about cheating, aka, he projects his feelings onto her)

As you can see from the above definitions, these very real, very prevalent conditions can seriously and adversely affect authentic conversation and communication with your wife. So what can you do to help prevent transference and projection?

Simply being aware of them is a big step in the right direction. Having a talk with your wife about this can help as well. If everyone is aware of possible poisonous presuppositions going into a conversation, it can help to alleviate the aforementioned adverse effects.

If you feel that past relationships (whether sexual, emotional, paternal or otherwise) OR current maladaptive feelings are causing a serious hindrance in your ability to communicate, perhaps it may be time to seek out some martial counseling. A trained man or woman offering an educated, outside perspective can work wonders on transparent conversation.

Actions Speak…

…louder than words. Yes, I know it is a cliché, but that doesn’t make it any less true. The way you treat your wife, both publicly and privately, screams to her how you really feel. If you are the type of husband who offers to cook dinner, clean up, and cuddle with her after she has had a hard day…you can bet she is going to be more apt to listen with an open mind and an open heart when you speak.

If, on the other hand, you are a “Where’s my supper?” kind of man, you can bet she is a lot more likely to take what you say the wrong way.

Also, when she does open up and share with you her most personal and private thoughts, you can bet she is watching your reaction. If you react calmly, with love and understanding, she will be much more likely to keep the dialogue open and continue to be fully transparent and trusting around you.

Gossip Kills.

There is nothing more uncouth and ungentlemanly than slandering your wife around your friends. Though it is commonplace in many T.V. shows and movies today, it is absolutely base. That is your wife, your soul-mate, the current or future mother of your children, and your best friend. She trusts you with her secrets, her body, and her heart. Referring to her in pejorative and degrading terms is really more of an insult to yourself than to her.

You are simply telling the world you are an uneducated coward who can’t confront his own wife in private regarding any issues you may have with her. Instead you complain to any and everyone who will listen. And sooner or later your wife will find out and this will make it immensely more difficult for her to trust you again anytime soon.

In Conclusion

Make time to talk and really listen to what your wife is saying. Ensure that your actions are fully integrated with your loving talk. Be aware that past relationships and current negative feelings can seriously hinder communication; seek counseling if necessary. And keep your private problems private, don’t disrespect your wife in public.

A man that cannot communicate honestly and openly with his wife is bound to have a mediocre marriage at best, and no man should strive for such a base goal. Instead I urge you to be the best husband the world has seen…and that starts with knowing how to lovingly communicate with your true love.

Silly Persons with their Silly Documents…

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 9 Jul 2011 11:51:00 -0500

What Is This Document?

“A Marriage Vow: A Declaration of Dependence on Marriage and Family” drafted by Iowa’s Bob Vander Plaats, who heads the IFPC. Basically it has around fourteen bullet points and other revolution era jargon aimed at defending marriage and family.

Why Do You Call It Silly?

Oooo, let me count the ways…for starters, bullet points like this:

Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA‟s first African-American President.

Anytime someone has to bring up slavery to make a point about marriage…they’ve crossed the silly line. His source is invalid since it is widely known that black folks were treated as property back in the day and the colonists were not very good record keepers in regards to marriage and family of their slaves.

Even FoxNews finds this clause a bit silly…

Another Example…

Humane protection of women and the innocent fruit of conjugal intimacy – our next generation of American children – from human trafficking, sexual slavery, seduction into promiscuity, and all forms of pornography and prostitution, infanticide, abortion and other types of coercion or stolen innocence

This statement, in conjunction with others in the document, show that its author, in my humble opinion, goes beyond biblical bounds in regards to women being the weaker sex. It goes beyond the scope of this post, but women even in biblical times held high and respected positions of authority.

Specifically the line “seduction into promiscuity”…sex, unless you are raped, is always a choice, and this line seems to remove all responsibility from the female in the situation.

And really, you are going to ban all forms of porn? I am not pro porn, but trust me it will never ever be banned. It simply is too widespread for that to even be considered a logical possibility…but it is a silly one, that I must say.

More Examples..?

Recognition of the overwhelming statistical evidence that married people enjoy better health, better sex, longer lives, greater financial stability, and that children raised by a mother and a father together experience better learning, less addiction, less legal trouble, and less extramarital pregnancy

ehhh….I know plenty of unmarried folk who have all kinds of the good sexy sex. And I know married folks not havin’ any special bedroom time…

Yes, I do believe that those involved in a healthy marriage which fosters an environment of trust, love, mutual respect and open communication will indeed have better sex, but broad blanket statements and silly phrases like those above nullify any real point the author has.

I am not nor will I ever promote premarital sex, but to say that sin isn’t fun for a season is both denying God’s word and just a bit sil….
(you knew where I was going with it, because if you read the discourse, you are not a silly person)

And let us not forget the silliest line of all…

So help us God.
* NOTE: Or, “solemnly attest”. Each signatory signs only in his or her individual capacity as an American citizen and current or potential leader; affiliations herein are for identification purposes only and do not necessarily imply formal embrace of this vow or the sentiments herein by any institution or organization.

…just in case God might offend someone who would actually read, let alone sign this document…

Soo…Is It Silly?

Honestly, you can read the document for yourself, it is filled with silliness. Once again this goes to prove my point that methods and intent are just as important as the message itself. I do believe marriage is important and I do believe we need to be educating our young people about the mental, emotional and physical perils of premarital sex, porn, and the such.

What we don’t need is a headline hungry, Christian right, power seeking silly person writing silly documents for sillier people to sign so that the silliest people of all will sign their ballots with their silly name on election day.

It’s just silly…and sad.

Newsworthy

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Thu, 7 Jul 2011 10:54:00 -0500

…Police and prosecutors there alleged that he had been forced to live in a dog cage, and was kept naked except for a diaper. They alleged that his father, Riley Lowell Choate, 39, and his stepmother, Kimberly Leona Kubina, 45, had regularly beaten and kicked the boy, deprived him of food, and chained his hands to the top of the cage…

One of the most saddening aspects of the case is that Christian was killed more than two years before his body was found in May, yet during all that time, according to police investigators, there is no indication that anyone was looking for him.

*source: Bob Greene-CNN

At around 10 am on July 7th, I did a search on news.google.com for Christian Choate and got roughly 30 results…

I didn’t even have to do a search on Casey Anthony, as she was the top story on the Google News homepage with over 7,000 linking articles…

I am truly amazed and simply bewildered as to why certain stories get more attention than could ever be necessary whilst others get virtually none…why?

I believe, as I have said many times before, that the media, especially the twenty-four hour news networks, have a major slant towards sensationalism. It ceased, long ago, to be about information. Instead it has become a ratings game…what stories, what news is most amusing, entertaining and revenue generating.

It makes no difference whether you are a staunch conservative or a progressive liberal…whether you fancy Rachel or Bill, Keith or Sean, you are no being informed, you are being entertained; they are pandering to their demographic.

So, does this mean you can’t watch Fox and friends over a latte or Morning Joe over coffee and toast? Not at all, but just remember what you are watching…it sure ain’t news…

A Simple Card

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 22:54:00 -0500

To a husband and wife who remained faithful, I thank you…

Leaving that which you know is tough. Venturing out from the protective wings of family and familiarity is a trepidatious trek for even the bravest of souls. My wife and I were no different. When we made the decision to depart the ever familiar landscape of Central Virginia for the unknown tumbleweeds of Texas…we were scared. It was late summer.

Flash forward to late fall. Christmas shopping was in full force and clinquant Christmas chimes were singing their song to all who would listen. This was without a doubt going to be a tough Christmas. My father had just died less than three weeks ago and I was going to be spending Christmas away from my mother and brothers. It was truly Jamie and I versus the cold, cold world. It was 80 degrees outside…

I fired up our economical Chevy Malibu Classic, tuned into NPR, and hoped Garrison Keillor’s soothing voice could make me feel at home whilst I headed to the post office. I arrived at the post office just as Guy Noir was about to solve the case…

I swigged down my hot coco, complete with mini marshmallows, and headed inside. As I opened the mystery box and reached inside I noticed something…one of the envelopes felt stiff and was larger than those around it. It was deep red with pine green trim. The colors smiled at me and were a welcome contrast to the black and white mediocrity of bills, bank statements, and blanket requests for donations. I walked outside…the sun which had been fading was now gone from site.

I climbed back into my car and was catching the news from Lake Wobegon as I opened this Christmas treasure. It was a greeting card from Rachel and Calvin McGahey. A simple, everyday average greeting card with two hand written signatures at the bottom in bright blue ink. Nothing special, nothing amazing…and yet it was everything…amazing. It felt as if home itself was hugging me. And for that moment the world seemed more like a warm blanket than it did a deserted iceberg. A smile crept over my face…Mr. Keillor signed off.

I headed home to share this precious gift with my beautiful wife. She read it and looked up at me with those stunning eyes, tisked her tongue on the roof of her mouth and in her cute girlish voice that I love so much exclaimed… “Awwwwwwwww….they’re so sweet”. She proceeded to place the card on a table, in a position of prominence amidst our tiny dwelling. More cards and love followed…but theirs was the first.

As the years wore on, Rachel and Calvin were always faithful with their card ministry. Our Anniversary, birthday’s, etc…they never let us forget that we, at least in some small way, were still thought of back home, still loved, and still a small part of their lives. I am so thankful for people like Rachel that are faithful until the very end.

Heaven just got a little brighter…and Thomas Terrace Baptist Church lost, if only for a little while, a great saint. May her legacy burn bright and may others follow her example in love and grace.

And to Calvin…her husband…press on brother…fight the good fight until God calls you come as well. Weep not dear brother…your angel awaits you soon.

Jesus is WHAT?

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 01:05:00 -0500

Students’ concerns over plagiarism by Tennessee Temple University President Danny Lovett ultimately led to his resignation from the school.
But Lovett, while acknowledging that he plagiarized some passages in his book “Jesus is Awesome,” said he was leaving the university anyway.

*source-http://bit.ly/lfDvIG

See that little mark that says *source right above this text? And see how the words above it are in a blockquote format? That means I got them from somewhere else…acknowledging I didn’t come up with them myself. That apparently was too much to ask for my former professor and Dean of Liberty Seminary Danny Lovett.

You see, I read the book in question, I had to for my CHMN class…(Church Ministries…it has since been renamed EVAN 101) , a class I took in Fall of 2004…(picture of my transcript below)

Firstly, the book itself is awful…it is written in a sing-songish style manner one would expect out of a sixth grader forced to do an essay project. Secondly, …honestly I could bash this book all day, let’s move on…

In keeping with tradition of former Dean’s of Liberty Seminary (if you recall the most recent dean, Dr. Ergun Caner was forced to resign after it was found out he lied on numerous occasions from the pulpit regarding his past..he was allowed to keep his job as a professor at Liberty, but eventually left to become Vice-President of a small Baptist college in Texas) Danny has resigned in disgrace after it was proved his book was filled with passages from other books yet nary a credit or citation was found.

I seriously don’t get why anyone would hire these clowns. One is a vice-president of a college and one is going to be a head pastor of a church…really? Are we so desperate for good men that we are using men who have clearly abused power before?

Perhaps it is time for these men to serve in non-leadership positions. The book of Timothy warns us to flee from this sort of corruption and temptation…clearly these men are tempted by power and control. They have proven they cannot handle it and should spend time seeking out another course for their lives.

I fear instead they are attempting to preach the gospel for personal, fiscal gain…and we all know how God feels about his word being used for that sort of evil…

For all my non-Liberty friends reading this…the title is an allusion to both Danny’s book and a phrase we all said at the start of class…he would yell “JESUS IS WHAT???” to which the class would reply “AWESOME!”…

And Jesus is still Awesome…no matter how much Danny Lovett, Ergun Caner or anyone else tries to drag Him down.

For Further Reading:

A Baptist Message board (click here) announcing the resignation of Danny Lovett as Dean of Liberty back in the day and the promoting of Dr. Ergun Caner as the new dean. Both these men failed us…look how excited the first poster was about the change…

“Would He?”–A response to Louis Farrakhan

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 00:08:00 -0500

“I’m gonna ask you a question. Do you think God would give His only begotten Son for this World?…Just think…Look at the world you live in, how rotten it is.”
--Louis Farrakhan speaking at the American Clergyman Conference in May 2011

The blogs have been set ablaze with posts and comments concerning remarks Mr. Farrakhan made recently where he called President Obama a murderer and an assassin. Mr. Farrakhan made it clear he made these comments for two main reasons:

His (Louis F’s) personal friendship with embattled dictator Muammar Gaddafi and the current US policy on Libya.
Mr. Farrakhan’s stance on the War on Terrorism, in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But what I want to focus on today is the question Mr. Farrakhan asked his listeners directly before he made his comments regarding the White House and the President. He asked them if God would give His only Son (Jesus) to this world today…meaning the current world.

His tone and his following comment about the world being rotten indicates Mr. Farrakhan doesn’t believe God would. I believe the Bible reads otherwise…Consider Romans 5:7-9 (NLT)

⁷ Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. ⁸ But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. ⁹ And since we have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God’s condemnation.

God sent Christ to die for us while we were still sinners…aka enemies of God!!I Isaiah tells us that there is nothing we could ever do for God that would earn us Salvation…it is a free gift of God because He is a merciful, loving God who is full of grace.

No matter how rotten you are or how rotten the world you live in, God still seeks you out and calls you to Himself. Salvation is by faith in Christ alone…Solo Christo shall man be saved.

So, as to Mr. Farrakhan, I say…Yes, God would and did give His son to a rotten world… and I encourage you to get back to the basics as God desires a relationship with you as well…

Sola scriptura, Sola fide, Sola gratia, Solo Christo and especially Mr. Farrakhan…Soli Deo gloria!!! Forever and ever…Amen!

Under God…and stuff.

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:17:00 -0500

I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
-Francis Bellamy’s original Pledge of Allegiance…1892

There has been much written in the past day or so regarding NBC’s intentional editing of the recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance prior to the US Open. In case you missed it, they cut out the words “Under God, Indivisible”.

Almost immediately the grumbling and outrage began. “How dare they, this nation was founded on Christian principles, etc…” While I agree this nation is one rooted deeply in Judeo-Christian values, the pledge did always have God in it.

For those that aren’t aware, the words “Under God” were not officially added to the pledge until 1942! (during a time of war and fear.) I really have no issue whatsoever with the amendment, and as a Christian I am happy we added the phrase.

But not for one second do I believe that our nation between 1892-1941 was somehow less Christian or less of a nation because we didn’t have that phrase in the pledge. As with everything in life, our actions speak much louder than words. While America does have many things wrong with it, it still gives more time and money to the poor and helpless than any other nation on Earth.

The bottom line is I think NBC was silly to edit out the phrase, since Under God is now officially part of the pledge via an act of Congress…and if you are going to show the pledge, you should show it in its entirety. I do not, however, buy the argument that by having the phrase in our pledge we are somehow closer to God.

Nor do I believe that those who would have the phrase removed, or to be more accurate, those that would have us go back to the original pledge, are a bunch of godless Sodomites plotting the destruction of America whilst having gay sex on a burning copy of The Bible.

They simply believe, (wrongly, in my opinion) that the functions of government should not in any way acknowledge God or religion for fear of religious leaders (ie…The Pope’s of old) gaining to much power and forcing their way of life on non-religious people.

The bottom line is the name calling and the “us versus them” mentality has to end somewhere. And since my Bible teaches me to love my enemies and to pray for those who persecute me,(Matt 5:44, Rom 12:14) then perhaps it is we Christians who should be the ones to extend the olive branch.

Reasonable, rational, academically honest conversations filled with understanding, love, and true discourse are a good place to start. So next time someone disagrees with a value you hold dear…like the pledge…instead of yelling and pointing fingers, you can have a rational discussion.

“I understand where you are coming from, and you are right, we didn’t add the words ‘Under God’ until 1942, but I believe the addition of this phrase was a good thing, since it reflected the values and principles we as a nation hold dear….”

is much better than

“You America hating, Godless moron…burn in hell”.

Just think about it.

Technorati Tags: Pledge of Allegiance,NBC,God,Christianity

Pledge of Allegiance,NBC,God,Christianity

Monday Mix-Up

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 14:14:00 -0500

Greetings…as a blogger I read many other blogs…some for inspiration, some for information, and some for simple amusement. Here are some posts I found interesting this week…

Bonnie Smith’s review of clichés…-A film themed blog run by my good friend Bonnie. In this post she discusses some well known movie clichés.
Thirty Days to be a better man…- The Art of Manliness is by far one of the top blogs on the net for men. It defines true manliness, not the crap we read about in Men’s Health or Maxim. This is a series of 30 posts designed to help make you a better man.
LifeHacker-How to Take Better Pictures part 1…- LifeHacker in general is a wellspring of knowledge. It covers topics so vast I won’t even attempt to list them all. This article is the first part in what appears to be a promising series on how to take better pictures.
Where Does Integrity Begin…. –Justine Jacobs has an outstanding blog regarding sexual integrity and the mistakes she has made along the way…and what one can learn from them. In this post she tackles the popular topic of sexting and computer flirtation and whether or not it is “cheating”. Very relevant in regards to the current Anthony Weiner saga.

“Don’t Spill It”

DerekJamesCormier@gmail.com (Derek Cormier) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 13:54:00 -0500

Memories live on seemingly forever in our minds. The fountain of youth so vigorously sought after has been contained within us this all along, just above the spinal cord. Here is a story I would like to share from the amazing Sara Bellum:

In the mid 90’s my father had a job that required him to wine and dine clients. We lived in a small suburb just outside of Atlanta called Loganville. Contained within his client wooing arsenal were season tickets to the Atlanta Braves. Sometimes, there were no clients to woo so Dad would take me and my older brother to see David Justice smack a few out of the park.

On one such occasion, we decided to split early, around the 7th inning or so, as was our custom. Sometimes these National League games could drone on forever, which was especially boring if the point spread was greater than five or six. We got out of our seats, which were located in the middle deck, on the first base side in the now long gone Fulton County Stadium, and walked out of the stadium to our maroon 90’s Chevy Lumina and tuned our radio to WSB, 750 A.M. radio.

Smelling red-hots and boiled peanuts all night can make a guy hungry, and we had long ago finished the Krystals we had brought with us that night. It was nearing midnight so we decided to hit up a local DQ drive-thru and grab some frozen delights.

I don’t remember what I chose that night, but I believe it was a large Strawberry Shake. I always loved shakes because for some reason as a kid I was always thirsty…and drinking a shake seemed to, if only psychosomatically, satisfy both my craving for liquid as well as my sweet tooth.

My brother and father both chose banana splits as best I can recall. I do remember my dad making that goofy face he would always make and saying in his patent silly voice “Oh boy, they’re loadin’ em up good tonight” followed by two loud lip smacks and a clasping of his hands as he rubbed them from side to side.

My dad always judged his desserts by how many toppings were on them…the more the merrier. The cashier who had originally taken our order at the speaker was gone, we assumed it was a possible shift change or just his time to get off. So the young Indian man who we had seen make the splits handed us the frozen delights. For some reason, everyone who worked at that DQ was Indian, and at that age I didn’t understand why.

My dad and my brother both got wide eyes and were seemingly too excited to speak. The car was instantly filled with the aroma of sweet cream and sugar…that Dairy Queen smell that just can’t be described, only enjoyed and remembered within the realms of our mind.

My dad grabbed the cash to pay the man and placed it in his left palm. He brought his hand up to the window just in time for the ice cream sculptor to proclaim in a loud, broken-English voice “Buh-Bye, Have a nice night…Don’t Spill It!” before shutting the drive thru window and walking away.

My dad sat there for a minute, dumbfounded. He looked at the money in his hand, looked at us, looked back at the empty drive through window, and put the money back in his pocket. We sat there for another minute continuing to stare at the empty window, before driving off.

About five minutes down the road on I85, dad burst out with a loud Indian accent “Don’t Spill It” and we all laughed. We then all discussed and reenacted the scene of dad holding up the money and getting the window shut in his face. It is one of the only surviving memories of the many many Braves games I attended during my middle school years.

My dad was no thief, but I could tell years later he still had a tinge of guilt in his soul for not paying that poor DQ cashier. In 2008 as he lay dying and in pain from Pancreatic Cancer and a failed Whipple operation, we attempted to cheer him up with stories from the past.

We said out loud in our best Indian accent “Hey Dad….Don’t Spill It!” …but instead of laughing my dad looked up with his weak eyes and said in his feeble voice “When are you all going to let me forget I am a thief…”

It’s funny how we remember things, and how we look at them. Something that had made me and my brother laugh for over 15 years was something that had been buried in the back of my dad’s mind as a regretful night of ice cream thievery.

So this father’s day I think of my Dad in Heaven…as his cup overflows and I want to say to him…”Dad….Don’t Spill It”….

Happy Father’s Day, may you make memories that last forever…

Derek's Discourse

Post 300

Community Churches

Church

Church-to-Community

Community-to-Community

So, is one superior to the other?

Next up?

The Great Distraction

Distractions= Avoidance

Devices= Secrecy

Debt and Dissapointment= Drudgery

Focus=Courage

My Closing Thoughts and Further Reading

Community Discussions and the danger of Echo Chambers

What's a Community Discussion?

It's not about proving a point...

Making the Most of it...

Use Feeling Words!

Attack ideas (with love) , never people.

End with Love

For Further Reading

Teach me how to Duggar

For Those Unaware…

So why are you writing about him?

So What’s the Point?

But Josh said He felt bad and sought forgiveness

He was just a teenager….can’t we move on?

What do you mean…Forgive and Forget right?

But Jim Bob went to the police…

Would you turn your son into the police?

A Final Word

Government Response

Christians and Obama

Policy not People

But What About…

It was always to preach Christ

They suffered serious consequences

So what should I do?

Pray

Criticize don’t Complain

Grassroots

Thank God…Move on

Watch Your Toes…

Plainly Spoken…A Moderate view on Phil Robertson

A&E Violated Phil’s Free Speech

A&E is persecuting Christians

Phil was fired for speaking Truth.

We Should Boycott A&E…

In Jesus Name…?

Introduction

Pro Jesus

Pro Inclusion

What do you believe Chaplain Boy?

In Conclusion

Post Election Podcast-Points to Ponder

Fat Gay Gossipy Liars-A case for love

God Hates Fags...Pass the butter

Sin is Sin

The Sin Problem

What's Your Point?

Engaging

Candidate Program

Merry Christmas-2011

So what’s new in 2011?

Jamie

Both

Chaplaincy? How Dare You!

Misconceptions:

“How do you feel about having to marry homosexuals?” “How do you feel about saying Muslim Prayers?”

But I heard…

So, what about them Muslims?

Would you give them The Qur'an?

Can You Proselytize?

In Conclusion…

Essential Skills for New Husbands-Basic Finance

Live on Less

Pack a Lunch

Ignore Social Pressures

Invest in Benefits

“How do you feel about having to marry homosexuals?”
“How do you feel about saying Muslim Prayers?”