D.C.GIRL@THEMOVIES

SERIOUS QUESTIONS!! ...about the new Karate Kid Trailer

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 06:06:00 +0000

It... actually looks like it might be ok.

I am *impressed* with Jaden's leg extension, there. And it's always nice to see Taraji working (she's from DC, y'all!).

But I am pondering a few things...

Will there be ample opportunity to laugh at people giving themselves nosebleeds over their sudden racial righteousness about "the white kid bein' recast black OMGZ!! Will Smith taaaint nepotizms&reverseracisms!!1!!" ?

Will these be the same people who are mysteriously silent about the umpty-billion times white people do this?

Is it fail that the Karate Kid is *still* not Asian-American, despite that fact that he's of color?

Does the fact that he is another person of color still a step-up from casting another white kid ?

On the snowball's chance in hell that they *had* cast an Asian-American, would the majority of America haved failed by just seeing it as redundant (i.e. black kid learning *hip-hop) despite the fact that most Asian-American kids don't know karate, either? Or worse, "hes suposed to be wite!1!"

Is this yet another Hollywood attempt to squeeze money from 80's kids' memories ? *come on now another one!? damn!*

Will they play this song at some point during the movie, preferably during a nice long training montage? Will this movie suck, if they don't?

If Jaden romances the adorable little girl playing he violin, does this add to the evidence that wtf? blasian romance is suddenly considered in in Hollywood?! quotient?

How many little black boys have you seen lead huge mainstream Hollywood movies?

...Is Jackie Chan *finally* aging? The say black don't crack, but man neither does Asian! How old is he now?

Will the jacket move become the new wax-on, wax-off?

IS the leg extension supposed to replace the crane-move on the pier??

THESE ARE PRESSING QUESTIONS YOU GUYS!!

And finally I say to you all, Happy New Year!

*speaking of hip-hop, did you know many b-boy moves came from 70's and 80's kids imitating old chop suey movies? I kid you not, I saw Shaolin Monks doing windmills and headspins at a performance once and they weren't b-boying.

AVATAR

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 03:35:00 +0000

Before I get into this, I just want to thank Hollywood, for putting hair similar to my own on every strange, magical, creature known to man.

Now, children look upon me with fearful awe, thinking it just might be possible that I'll grow fifty feet tall and turn into a bunch of white crabs or start taming animals by stroking it with a dredloc.

-_-

Yes. Thanks a lot, Hollywood. regular everyday average folks wear natural styles too, hollywood! not just krumpers, not gangstas, not primitives, not voodoo witchs, not militants, not blue people, just regular everyday (sometimes dorky) folk. ...i know. hard to believe.

Now, as for the movie? My reaction was basically this:

death by snu-snu, indeed

At once dazzled by the visuals and happy to see another black woman knocking on A-list status, because, as we all know A-list black actresses are like this guy...:

there can be only one! ( and her name is Connor M- *err*-Halle Berry!)

...and just annoyed by the fact that everything else about this was just, offensively meh.

Just because you use blue-brendan-fraser-space-fishcats (with afro-indian accoutrements), does not mean you've subverted Mighty Whitey.

...Especially when you hit every single qualifying cliche like you were actually *trying* to. From the lead "everyman" white dude learning some awesome skill the indigenous people never thought of(!), to the exotic princess falling for his mega-rat-tail having behind.

Cameron hit every single classic aspect of this trope, like a center target on a dartboard, with a dash of this disability trope thrown-in.

Man, at least District 9 took some original turns and didn't seem, at least to me, like they were *trying* to hit those cliches.

And do you guys remember when I wrote this whole long post talking about the right way to make race movies?

Remember the parts where I talked about the casual racism of reality vs. the "U R A *~N*G-GER!!!~*" harshness of movie-world?

Mm-hm.

That happened here. Nobody would actually run around saying *SAVAGES!!* like they're hawking a lougie about the giant blue fish-cats, at their *jobs*.

It's just unrealistic because real racists aren't so obvious. Nobody even uses that anymore! Every time someone said that, it felt like a throw-back to an old black-white budget western or something.
And you know what? Even if this weren't a Mighty Whitey movie, this would still be as trite and predictable as all get out. I was literally mapping the movie in my head as it unfolded... Had done so accurately after I'd first heard about it.

I had so hoped, I was wrong, but every message was conveyed with a paint-by-numbers script and the subtlety of being hit with a sledgehammer.

So, yeah. Big fail there.

The other thing that I think they didn't really reach far enough with was the alien design.

I mean yes, I understand making the Fraser tribe humanoid, but everything else on that planet was too familiar especially for a film that was pushing the visual envelope; basically horses with no fur and more legs, pterodactyls with *~color~*, giant black pumas with fins, or hammer-head rhinos with pink fins...okay that one was pretty alien...

Just push the imagination a little more, like that awesome Discovery Channel fake documentary, from a few years ago.

Also? Mecha-suits with matching-sized bowie knives? DUMB.

I will say, the actors did their best with the material presented and I did get into it at moments, so there's that.

But, yeah...

Pretty but, meh.

PARENTS: It's typical PG-13 fare with the typical for that rating level of violence, with the Gladiator yodeler accompanying and some quickie alien copulation (yes, you read that right). Use your discretion.

P.S. If you want to see this kind of theme, done right? Rent this.

P.P.S. I meant to use this image somewhere in the above write-up, but alas...

Ah, well. If you've seen this episode, you've seen most of the movie.

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 18:54:00 +0000

Do you remember when I said I could forgive a lot if only the movie is good? Well, folks...it ain't.

It's not good. It's a mediocre, meandering mess, full of the most flatly literal songs I have ever heard in a supposed Disney fairytale.

You could seriously turn the words "hard work" into a drinking game for this movie and be wasted by the end. The white girls? Get fairytale escapism. Little black girls? Get lectured, condescended to, and preached at about what they need to be doing to *earn* their fairytale ending.

The songs are so bad the Family Guy *parody* of Newman's singing was catchier than many of his songs in this movie.

There's no sign of that patient unfolding of a tale that we used to see at the peak of Disney's animation reign. None of the magic. No soul-lighting overtures like Part of Your World, Belle, or even Hakuna Matata.

It just feels like one of those cut-rate Disney rip-offs. They did absolutely *nothing* to inject this movie with lasting magic. The prince is some vaguely beige creation meant to be just white enough to appeal to *everybody ~~not black~~ else*with an accent(s) and demeanor that's like nails on a chalkboard.

Tiana has no personality either. All we learn about her is that she wants a restaurant and she works hard. There's nothing that tells you who she is. She's doesn't have the sweet determined spunk of Ariel nor the fierceness of Mulan. There's nothing that makes you latch onto her. So, when the prince does, it seems to come from out of the blue.

The rest of characters are a conglomeration of recycled sidekicks and a random hodge-podge of New Orleans stereotypes. You know you're in trouble when the most memorable character is the damn toothless Cajun firefly.

This is a failure made all the worse for the fact that I really wasn't expecting much.

And it's not really awful, per say. It's just soooo forgettable.

At least Pocohantas (another one of Disney's worst) had Colors of the Wind.

Man, I tell you what. If the upcoming Rapunzel is a good movie? I'm cutting a bitch.
Because that just proves they really didn't try with this one. They thought all they had to do was make her black and a *damn frog for the ninety percent of the movie and people would flock to see it. *wth is it with disney making black folks animals?! first lion king and now this?!*

The bottom line is what mattered here and not lasting quality. At least, for *this* feature.

We'll see with Rapunzel. I'll actually be cutting and hugging bitches if it's good, for the return to traditional animation.

Below even *my* expectations.

PARENTS: I'm recommending this for the kids even with all the bad things I said about it...at least the less discerning young ones. It means more that kids get to see this kind of diversity on the big screen than it does that everything else about this is a bore.

...And I'm not just talking about black kids.

It's not enough to teach your kids to treat everyone the same, in order to make them full, well-rounded, open-minded individuals around people of *every* background.

You've also got to expose them to as much of that diverse world as you can, from the start.

P.S. Looking for better movies to make your little black girl feel like a princess?
Here are a few movies I'd recommend that came out WELL BEFORE this "first black princess" movie.

POLLY
THE WIZ
RODGERS & HAMMERSTEIN'S CINDERELLA
KIRIKOU AND THE SORCERESS ...and sequels
AKEELAH AND THE BEE

P.P.S. Mulan was in China. Aladdin was in the Middle East.

Seriously, how hard would it have been to simply adapt Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters and do it Beauty and Beast style?

Selective Eurocentrism, for the lose.

HOLLYWOOD'S BIGGEST MARKETING TARGET CONTINUES TO BE 80'S KIDS (NOW GROWN-ASS HIPSTERS)

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 20:06:00 +0000

...And how do the producers target them? Take every original thing they loved as children and remake them as crappy CGI-laden garbage.

Observe...

Let's see. We have...

~Someone who's *not* Lawrence Olivier playing Zeus? *check!*
~A shot of the same damn jump-up stab-down move Brad Pitt kept doing in Troy? *check!*
~Starring that Australian guy nobody in America had ever heard of until Hollywood suddenly decided to try to make him happen? *check!* why does this only happen to non-american white dudes???
~Craptastic and uber-generic-sounding rock music playing in the background? *check!*
~Looks like The Mummy except Greek?? *check!*

And DCMovieGirl laughs through her tears as Hollywood continues to take perfectly awesome memories from her childhood and turn them to crap.

Nothing will ever touch this awesome, you hear me?

P.S. Reviews of the Disney cartoon and Avatar are coming next, people.

NEW MOON

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:56:00 +0000

This is the first movie to ever give me both first and second-hand embarrassment. Both for me being there in the first damn place, and for the actors in it (though, I'm sure their wages almost make up for all that).

Wow. It's just too painful to completely relive, so I'll just give you some of the low-lights.

The movie gets off on the wrong foot because it's main character is blank and unlikeable...which translates to *every* girl in the country being able to project their own personalities onto the one she lacks.

Kristen Stewart makes the bad writing sound just that much worse with her monotone voice and lack of any sense of cadence. You hardly process her lines because she inflects no meaning at all to anything she says. She mumbles and rushes sentences together that should not be. Basically, she says she cares, like she doesn't.

The movie has no real rhythm in the plot. There's no build-up to anything in particular. It's just a series of emo songs, playing behind an emo girl, and her emo vampire boyfriend... Who is mostly in *~wisp~* form this go 'round, with a few random action sequences sprinkled in. These involve characters from the first film and newbies, none of whom you get to know any better.

I actually busted out laughing at several inappropriate times and made the teeny-boppers surrounding me, very, very angry (sorry you guys). The first time was when a shirtless character comes out of the cold Northwestern woods carrying our heroine...

...Which none of the gathered people who greeted him thought was strange. Nope, nobody questions why he's not wearing a shirt, full pants, or shoes.

...In the woods.

...At night.

...But he did have on a pair of snazzy hip-hugging denim capris (...an endless supply I'd wager given the *~spoiler!~*)

I also lost it when Jacob, the newly buffed up ~other boy~ from the first film, just *has* to remove his shirt to tend to ~~Mary Sue's~~ Bella's wound. Really, Jacob was pretty much constantly shirtless, standing around in the cold Northwestern rain throughout the entire movie. Yes. I know the logical reason for it, but still...

I found nothing redeeming about this movie. AT ALL. The entire audience gave a collective groan at the ending, which was the lamest cliffhanger since The Matrix Reloaded's O'NOES!AGENTSMITH IS OUT OF THE MATRIX!!! *dunh-dunh-DUNH!*

This is a meandering mess of a movie, with no real pay-off; no reason why you sat through it.

*sigh*

You know. I'm trying to cut this generation some slack.

What was girls' intro to burgeoning adolescent yearning, in my day? ...Micheal Jackson, New Edition, New Kids on The Block...

I don't remember any mormon-virgin-porn book-to-film crazes of any kind when I was girl. In my day, it was all about 80's glam fantasies like Labyrinth, Legend... You know, stuff beginning with the letter "L".

So. At least now it's based on books... Bad books, but books, nonetheless.

That's a step up, right?

...RIGHT?

...

...

Okay. Maybe not.

PARENTS: You'll likely be taking your little girls to see this movie and for that, I think you're the most self-sacrificing parents, ever. I salute you.

There's heavy violence *implied*, but cutaway at strategic points. Though, you *do* see a vampire's head and arms get torn-off (the effect is like a crumbly statue). The extent of the sex can be seen in my capped photo.

MAYBE THE WORLD REALLY IS ENDING IN 2012...

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:34:00 +0000

New Moon broke the opening day box office record set by The Dark Knight.

...

...

...

...

...NEW MOON IS NOW THE TOP SINGLE DAY EARNER IN HISTORY.

...

...

...I'm freakin' old.

...And I know this is the reason why preteens and their mommas went to see it.
I'm just sayin'... There are much better movies with eye-candy too, ladies.

A review is forthcoming.

NO MORE EXCUSES...

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:54:00 +0000

Roger Ebert just twittered this. Precious might have just set a new all-time high box office record for per screen average.

I hope producers are watching.

I hope they see this as confirmation that simply *making* a quality film, marketing it properly, getting to places where it will be seen will bring in money, regardless of the lack of ATTRACTIVE SKINNY WHITE FEMALE~*MOVIE STARS!*~ and WHITE MALE *~MOVIE STARS!~* [...and will smith]

Targeting *only* Joe Average Filmgoer (who I think might just see a good movie regardless)...

...Limiting the types of film brought to a wider audience simply because you don't think a dark-skinned black woman, a woman who wears a dress size other than zero, or tangentially ANY other under-represented group will sell tickets?

Not only do you screw your audience but you also screw your own pockets. Just realize that these populations *aren't* a trend. They won't simply cease to exist once you've made your requisite 1 or 2 movies to capitalize on them. ...Tyler Perry, anyone?

I am hoping that this will be a wake-up call. I'm am hoping this will inspire more diversity and less pre-programming when it comes to the choices we have in film.

I really hope.

Producers. Stop underestimating your audiences. Stop under-serving them. I am sure there are many populations *just waiting* for good movies reflecting them that they can finally pour their money into.

They would love to line your pockets. You just have to be open-minded enough to allow them to.

PRECIOUS VS. GABOUREY 'GABBY' SIDIBE

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:25:00 +0000

I am really looking forward to this film, but I know I'll have to be in the proper frame of mind.

Before I get into this, I want you see and hear from the actor who is playing the title role, Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe.

Now that you've seen that, read *this worthy piece.

This was a choice quote:

*Outlet: New York Magazine
Article: "When Push Comes to Shove"
Speaker: David Edelstein, author of the piece
Quote:

"

I'm not judging girls who look like Sidibe in life [<- this is his warning that he's about to say some offensive 'ish, also Sidibe isn't real], but her image onscreen is jarring to the point of being transgressive, its only equivalent to be seen in John Waters's pointedly outrageous carnivals. Her head is a balloon on the body of a zeppelin, her cheeks so inflated they squash her eyes into slits. Her expression is either surly or unreadable. Even with her voice-over narration, you're meant to stare at her ebony face and see nothing.
"

The way this actor is spoken about likely mirrors the treatment she gets in her role, despite the drastic differences between who she is as a person and the character she plays. It's the surface that she's judged by, a surface for which the prejudged setting in most minds is no where near positive. In fact, it's damn near the bottom of what we are conditioned to loathe. She's female, dark-skinned, and not thin.

Edelstein's reactions to this are telling. He is stuck on her physicality, describing it as if she were some off-the-charts anomaly, going so far as to declare her looks a clever emotional manipulation, when the purpose seems to be the opposite. Basically, he got it backwards. He blames her appearance; her color, her size for not seeing her, as opposed to I don't know, his initial *choice* not to because of how he *already felt* about those attributes?

It's almost worse when I see people go too far in the opposite direction, being extra-nice, trying to convince themselves they aren't feeling these things most all of us do. ...That we aren't that bad.

...Treating her with kiddie gloves, with this preciousness. Noting that "Wow! You are nothing like your character!", "You don't sound like her." like this is some kind of aberration, given her color and size. This is sometimes followed by a strange coddling behavior, talking to her like she's a child.

You prejudged her, based on racist and sizest B.S.

Now, forgo the backhanded compliments and acknowledge it, honestly deal with it and then address her as a peer, please.

I know, Gabby will likely also catch heat from other black people for "being too white", and not just because of her accent but because of her wording. *OMGOREO!!!11!* people Tripping out.

But that's the way of the world. I hope her career goes farther than Clare-Hope Ashitey's has, another rare young dark-skinned black actor, since her "big-break". She's seems like a decent person. I hope, but I'm not holding my breath. I know Rutina Wesley is counting her lucky stars, every day.

...And I hope people will move beyond the quick and easy, feel-good sense of triumph over insurmountable odds analysis of this film (*see Antwone Fisher, as well), in the sense of "See? Everybody, can overcome their circumstances!" because that simply isn't true. I hope folks move far enough into self-analysis to at least be more apt to see the blank-slate first and to relate her plight to many folks' plight, the world over.

Monique is getting lots of Award show buzz for playing another fat and sassy character here, but at least it doesn't look like a barely glimpsed one-dimensional sketch of a stereotype. It looks like a fully realized character, one who cannot be dismissed as simply fat and sassy, so kudos.

I'll let you know what I think.

FIRST 5 MINUTES OF THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 02:09:00 +0000

Feeling lots of nostalgia at the hand-drawn animation in this. It is so lush and gorgeous, but I'm worried.

Yes, it's encouraging; amazing, that even in my short time on this Earth, these changes have come to pass. A little black girl can see a first lady and a Disney Princess who looks like her. I celebrate that. I am so grateful for this coming to pass in my lifetime.

No, it won't be icky-race issue-free, but I still really want it to be good, keep those stumbly steps heading in the rightish direction.

ZOMBIELAND

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 02:41:00 +0000

OMG! IT'S ANOTHER REVIEW!!!1!!!.... And yes, I am suitably ashamed of having made the above graphic... so, so, ashamed.

Anyway.

Y'all know I like zombie movies, but this one was just "ehh", okay to me. Combining genres, the roadtrip comedy and the zombie movie meant both were shorted, in my opinion.

It started promisingly, with the poor man's Micheal Cera narrating, some nice opening visuals and ideas, and some funny bits, but it eventually gets bogged down in the typical main characters becoming MOVIESTUPID for the sake of putting them in harrowing situations late in the game, along with the broke-man's Micheal Cera still. talking.

Also, though it opens with those nice visuals, the promise of that wasn't really fulfilled. There are two big cut-aways from kills that would have been quite awesome if filmed with guts (no pun intended), one with garden shears and a one-person stand-off against many, many, zombies.

At the heart of the movie, the romantic chemistry between the actors, didn't really click for me.

But there are a few laughs so, I'd recommend this for a rental or cable viewing.

...A matinee if you're a zombie fan.

It wishes it were Shaun of the Dead, but it ain't.

PARENTS: For a zombie movie, this was pretty tame. I mean, of course, it's gross and there are blood and guts, don't get me wrong. But somehow the light humor and bonding made it seem not so bad... In the context of zombie movies.

Take the young people who like and/or can handle blood and guts horror.

D.C.MOVIE GIRL'S NOTEWORTHY STEPS IN MOVIE DIVERSITY

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:15:00 +0000

So, unsurprisingly mine and a few other blogs calling out the racism in *the film that shall not be named!* have been receiving many harassing posts and trolls.

I find that discussions about race in this country often go down the same path of fail because the conversation usually goes in the same direction.

1 - Person of color points out racism. 2 - White people listening feel accused of being racists and are therefore angry, annoyed, guilty, frustrated at them for bringing it up. 3 - Conversation goes nowhere.

So, I thought (hopefully not overly-optimistically) if I talked about other less polarizing minority cliches on film in addition to race, from the perspective of films and other media that have managed to do some things right, then perhaps folks could make the connection.

We all want the same things after all, to be represented as we are and not in the way people who don't know us, imagine us to be ...with the same stereotypes over and over and over.

I was just talking to my mom the other day about how much things have changed, just in my lifetime, in terms of the representation my reflection in the media has taken. That is from quite frankly nothing to something like The Cosby Show, which was the first thing I remember having a reflective impact on me as a girl.

I talked about how what made that show special wasn't that it was black, but that it wasn't confined to just being "a black show".

It was simply considered to be great entertainment for everybody.

That, to me, is the true goal, the true measure of progress in terms of representation in the media. That is that one can and does see him/herself in “other” characters regardless of that person’s color, gender, orientation, etc....That you would choose to go see these things knowing it is for you, regardless of how different you are (on the surface) from those people up on the screen.

As it stands now, being considered great entertainment for everybody is only universally true in this country for all-white films. If a show or movie is all-white, it isn't considered to be a "white show" or a "white movie" it's just... a movie or a show.

...And that even applies when you add a Car Car Binks or two in the mix.

I also talked about how pleased I am to see the many other recent changes that have occurred in my lifetime.

Kids growing up these days will know a black president! A drama on TV with a black female star! (Liberty Heights, #1 Ladies Detective Agency, and Hawthorne) a black Disney princess!

You know, as many people complain about how much noise we make about these things, it does get things done.

So, I thought I'd come up with a little informal list of movies in my lifetime that have managed to avoid the some of the cliches I usually see when minorities are portrayed on film...Not just black people.

I'm using mainstream wide-release films here, where the subject isn't *insert minority here* people and their minority lives.

I chose to do this because there's a difference between having the privilege to choose to see a mainstream movie, (where you are present, without your presence being the subject of said film nor the typical tropes involving your minority that you see *all the time*) and going off to the special minority movie, especially made for special minority people like you.

...Or those art house movies from those exotic minority places.

So, here are some examples of mainstream movie-makers that really did manage to do a few things differently, that you might not have noticed, but I for sure noticed after eleventy-billion voodoo-skull-waving, jive-talking, fat-sassy, self-sacrificing, loud bug-eyed clownish, gangsta'swaggering, barely-there, tokenish, disposable negroes.

Basically, they are movies made for mainstream audiences that made my eyebrows go up in the good way because they avoided some of the usual fail.

Here are those surprisingly non-stereotypical elements in mainstream movies for people of color, women, and other minorities:

INDEPENDENCE DAY

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

...Because an honest-to-God black couple lead a Hollywood blockbuster.

He’s not paired with a non-black woman. She’s not paired with a non-black man and yet, still, somehow it was not considered to be “a black movie”.

A black guy is the lead hero... Nobody blinks, indicates his blackness, but just goes about in regular cheesy stupid expensive summer-fashion.

Yes.

My mind was boggled.

...And you can add just about every movie Will Smith has done since then, being a mainstream star and being black while doing so.

THE MATRIX/ MATRIX II

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

Neo and Trinity actually went back to rescue the black dude AND (OMG!!) SUCCEEDED!

Even Tank's crazy behind was shocked.

And the (admittedly convoluted) sequel? The future actually contained more than one token of each race *gasp!*

In fact, THE MAJORITY were of color and even MOAR black couples make appearances in this movie.

I had to blink a few times to make certain I wasn't hallucinating.

SUNSHINE

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

I admit, I kinda' cheated with this one, because it is art house and made by a non-American, but the cast seriously did surprise me. Once again, the future is not lily-white.

And it's not lily white with one token black as a stand-in for everybody else, either.

No, here we have more than one ethnicity of folks other than black in one place. We have Chinese, Japanese, and Maori all in the same film.

That's just as many minorities as white people, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, Mr. Boyle.

REAR WINDOW * I'm talking about the remake w/ Christopher Reeve

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

A paraplegic person starring in movie who isn't magically healed by the end.

WOW.

I hate to say it, but you know it's true, if Christopher Reeve hadn't broken his neck, nobody would've bothered with this remake.

...We'll see how AVATAR handles it.

APOCALYPTO

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

This is the only mainstream movie I've ever seen solely about Indigenous Americans with not a white face in sight.

...Not even the typical fish-out-of-water white male, to help keep white audiences feeling safely a part of things *cough*Wilkus*cough*.

Remember what I said about Bromkamp not being a racist but doing some unintentionally typical racefaily things?

This is the flipside.

An anti-semite made an action movie/family in peril movie focusing atypically on a group people we never see movies about and it was a damn good one to boot. This was racewin.

If it had been anyone other than Mel Gibson coming off of his Passion of the Christ success, though? It would not have been shown in mainstream theaters; likely would not have even been made.

HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

TWO ASIAN-AMERICAN MEN GOT WORK and are the leads!?!

No, neither one got laid, but a serious attempt was made, and all without the me-so-sorry! squinty-eyed, badly accented, shucking-and-jiving nerd thing.

And not a karate move in sight.

Yes. DCMovieGirl had to collect her eyeballs from the floor before exiting the theater.

SPEED RACER

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

An attractive black woman with a love interest and skin darker than a paper-bag, appears in a mainstream movie, sans weave, and with a SHORT NAPPY MINI-FRO.

...And her name wasn't Grace Jones.

Yes, she was only in it for three minutes tops, but still...

I SERIOUSLY LOOKED AROUND TO MAKE CERTAIN THE EARTH WASN'T ENDING.

Thank you, Wachowskis. Y'all got two mentions for a reason!

THE STATION AGENT

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

So, you mean to tell me people affected by dwarfism, aren't jolly magical creatures, with eternally childlike personalities, eating second breakfasts and searching for the one ring, but actual complex thinking grown-ups with issues like we all have?

WHO'DA THUNK?!

CONTACT

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

A woman is starring in a movie in which she isn't in peril, not looking for Mr. Right, not a romantic period piece, not a biopic, not being a sex object, nor wearing spandex while kicking ass.

No. She’s just a scientist listening to space noise. So, just like those black people movies about black things?

...This is not a woman’s movie about woman things and yes, that's a good thing.

STAR TREK

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

I'll just say folks complaining that this movie wasn't deep enough, need to ask a black person.

I’m not even touching the Tragic Mulatto angle they went with Spock's backstory.

Okay.

Maybe just a little...

When Spock beamed back aboard the ship, after mommy dropped away, this is what I saw:

You get two internet cookies if you know from whence the above image came.

....And A WOMAN, *excuse me* a black woman with romantic agency?

She doesn't just get worn down by the swaggering hero?

...REALLY?!

No "Since you winked enough times and were charming enough times, heck, I'll sleep with you!" B.S?!

MORE THAN ONE NATURAL HAIRSTYLE ON BLACK WOMEN IN THE SAME PLACE?!? *check the bridge, people*

J.J. I noticed. And I thank you.

SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

HOLY CRAP AN ASIAN DUDE GOT SOME.

This is what my face looked like upon that particular realization:

28 DAYS LATER

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

Ditto to the hair and skin color. No weave, darker than a paper bag. I did not believe Naomie Harris was a lead actor until I saw the movie...*though that may have had more to do with the marketing, from which she was notably almost completely absent.

And she LIVED.

Mind you. This is all far less likely in an American film.

I’ll just say, there is a reason why the first thing Naomie Harris did when she got to the U.S. was get a weave.

BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

Desi women exist?! Outside of Bollywood?

You Lie!

HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN

WHY DID THIS BLOW MY MIND?

Well, it didn't really blow my mind as much as make me nod appreciatively at the sudden influx of people of color. Sorry, Chris, but you can definitely see the difference between those first two Potter movies and Mr. Cuaron's in more than just quality.

Yup. I even remember when Lavender Brown was, well brown.

...And I'm still waiting for a mainstream movie in which an "unattractive" woman is the lead doing, awesome, funny, or amazing things and a mainstream LGBT movie in which the lead character is such without that being the subject/fetish of the film.

If you know of these or any other examples, list them in replies. I could do for more movies to check out and/or reminders of some things. :)

THE PROBLEM WITH VIEWING FILMS BY DEMOGRAPHIC

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 05:05:00 +0000

I know, I've been posting pretty sporadically, of late. There hasn't been anything in theaters I've felt is worth reviewing. *shrug*

...But I figure I've gotta get something up in here.

So, in lieu of writing a post, I'm linking a well-written article, instead.

This is from the ladies at The Angry Black Woman, which if you've never read that blog, DO SO. It's one of my favorites.

Here is The Problem With Viewing Films by Demographic.

HOW NOT TO WRITE ABOUT AFRICA

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 22:53:00 +0000

Given the controversy not loving DISTRICT 9 has caused on this blog, I thought I'd direct you to another point of view.

...One from an actor who has played many roles that are oddly similar to Christopher.

EARLY REVIEW: DISTRICT 9

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 00:00:00 +0000

DISTRICT 9 just isn't as deep as it would like to be. It's been done with more intelligence and just plain better before (ALIEN NATION, BROTHER FROM ANOTHER PLANET).

The filmmaker, Neill Blomkamp's heart was in the right place, but he didn't quite grasp his own topic. Because of that, DISTRICT 9's take on issues of xenophobia and race has a perspective and frame that is itself laden with those very issues.

Basically, it's a 'RACE MOVIE' with the same clichés I spoke about in this post on both the alien and human front.

It's all there, from the moaning soundtrack, the hammering home of "THIS IS BAD AND THESE ARE BAD THINGS BEING DONE!!1!!" to the presence of Mighty Whitey. Yup, he's even in the allegorical race movie, you guys.

Based on these real-life events, it's somewhat told in faux-documentary style from the perspective of a white man working for a South African government relocation program.

A camera follows him around while he and others attempt to ~~forcibly evict~~ relocate the alien population out of Johannesburg and into a ~~concentration~~ camp.

Said white man goes in treating all of the aliens like garbage, until(!) *he* gets sprayed with alien goo and starts mutating into one of them. Then he is treated *gasp!* JUST LIKE THEM and slowly comes to realize THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS.

He goes on to rescue two ~*extra-speshul*~ aliens (a father and son pair) by doing stuff, the rest of the horde never even thought of (like using advanced weaponry ONLY THE ALIENS CAN USE)...

AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE REST OF THE ALIEN HORDE *gullible, stumbling, bumbling, idiots who would sell their souls for cat food and piss where they eat for audience LOL's*

It's a real shame too, because the aliens, even when seen through the writer's majorly-flawed lens, were the most interesting thing about this movie.

I would much rather have seen the story from their point of view.

Subtle.

...And the real-live black people in the movie?? You know, the ones Blomkamp is basing his alien population on?

Ooga-booga negroes who think *eating* the aliens will somehow give them their ~*magic*~, gun-toting gangstas, hos, and yes, we even have a barely-there sidekick who is repeatedly called 'boy'.

He might have been trying to be ~*edgy*~ironic when he did this, which seems to be all the rage these days, but I'm not feeling that when those attempting it, don't grasp the subject themselves. You can't say anything to the populace about race and still be in remedial classes yourself.

Even if you were to put aside the righteous racefail, the movie's plot is dumb and full of holes. We're supposed to believe not *one* alien managed to do in over twenty years, what Mighty Whitey did in seventy-four hours.

The only things the writer manages entertainment-wise are a few bits of easy gratuitous violence, satisfying in the same way Mortal Kombat was when you were thirteen, a few limp, bad-taste-laughs, and a very predictable plothole-filled story-arc.

Despite all of this, I might recommend it for a rental if you're curious. It's a failure to me, but it's an interesting failure in that it's the same way Hollywood (and larger society) often fails on race.

Good intentions mean nothing, if you don't empathize enough to stop making it about you. Blomkamp used DISTRICT 9 to tell other people's story using himself, instead of just stepping back to tell *their* story.

The effects and details which are unobtrusively good, are also on the plus-side.

So, there's that.

I have to say, the preview audience seemed to love it. There was applause at the end, but given that G-FORCE was the #1 movie last week, take that as you will.

If you thought CRASH was a brilliant exploration of racism in this country *psst! it's not!*, then you'll probably love this.

PARENTS: It's R-rated for a reason. It's not for the kiddies. It's bloody and there's a cross-species sex-gag.

P.S. Sorry, I failed y'all and didn't deliver an evisceration of Transformers 2: Electric Jiggaboo. Thankfully, I think everyone else pretty much pointed out all the race and sexfail, anyway.

ON GOOD HAIR...

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 22:40:00 +0000

Summer has been...lacking.

Hardly anything has blown my socks off, save Trek and Up. Though, District 9 looks heavy-handedly relevant, I'm not so sure black South Africans being compared to giant black aliens, with feelers on their heads is all that deep.

...And everything else hasn't been near enough fun to make up for the copious amounts of brain-dead (i.e. Transformers 2: Electric Jiggaboo). So, this is yet another promotional post, for a movie I hope everybody will see:

A long overdue movie called GOOD HAIR by the always on point, Chris Rock coming in October.

Here's the trailer:

Now, it's being billed as a docu-comedy but like most of the best comedy it's based in some pretty painful truths.

That truth is many black people spend a lot of money and risk their health and safety so white people can be comfortable with their hair. They do this so they can get a job, go to school, and just be seen as "safely acceptable normal people" instead of "militant".

Not putting dangerous chemicals in your hair = "I HATE WHITEY!1!!!" or crunchy-organic boho or Rastafarian or anything but the blank slate a white person would be with their unaltered hair.

...Because routinely putting a caustic poison in your hair and scalp is normal/default and no that wasn't wasn't sarcasm, just sad truth.

We've all been susceptible to the normalization of this, even hilariously enough, Al Sharpton.

I am definitely hoping certain people will see this so they can (hopefully) start using common sense when dealing with black people's hair and black people too so we can get closer to eradicating that "good" and "bad" hair shit.

We're all curious. I understand that. And we're 'other', which means our stuff isn't as common knowledge as the 'default' (white people's stuff).

There is a certain point, however, when curiosity ends and basic common sense and courtesy come into play. That line gets crossed far. too. often. when it comes to black people and hair.

Observe...

"Do you wash your hair?"

"No. We don't we just let it get caked all up with dirt, because it's good for nappy hair!"

"Really?!"

"Yes. Really." *smile*

"Wow."

----------------------------------

*when going from a Halle Berry cut one-week, to hair down to the booty the following week

"How did it grow so long, so quickly!"

"An extra-special mixture of African berries and juices."

"...Really?!"

...

...

...

...

"-It's weave."

"Oh. ...I knew that."

"-You, just wanted to rudely confirm."

*redface* "....Yeah."

"Can I touch-?"

*glare*

"Okay no."

*the above is completely trufax, ya'll.
I have been asked ALL these questions among other gems, I did not include.
Just FYI, white people.
We're not wildebeests.
We're human beings, just like you.

STOP ASKING DUMB SHIT.

We are people, and all people's hair is made up of the same keratin. It comes in different textures and *gasp!* it comes in different colors too! But that's it.

Really.

There's no strange formula to it.

Now, I want to be certain the distinction is clear between being free to fry, damage, and manipulate your head and body as you see fit (most beauty is pain, after-all) and being hampered by society because YOUR HAIR IN IT'S NATURAL STATE is offensive.

Perms? Weaves? Whatever.

Choices are cool.

But, this is not what I would call choice. Would you think it was strange if almost every famous white actress had cornrows, afros, dreadlocks and twists, because that's 'normal'?

Would you find it strange if a white person was considered 'less professional' because they weren't wearing an afro?

Yeah.

See the movie.

And here's a bonus, because I love this:

MICHAEL

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:14:00 +0000

For awhile there I couldn't really believe it.

I've been watching the endless replays of MJ's music on MTV (the channel that couldn't deny him, despite his brown skin) ...and it finally sunk in. The man who formed the blueprint for modern pop music, the one EVERY pop act in the industry still follows?

..Is gone. :(

All those childhood memories. The first person to truly transcend race in a way that was almost godlike. People the globe over loved Micheal because his talent, his magnetism, his music were just that big.

Motown 25.

People flipped over this one move:

Not just kids, EVERYONE was mesmerized by that one moment. A dance move changed the cultural landscape because of MJ. That's how powerful he was. Network television routinely stopped everything to premiere his music. Every other star on the planet scrambled for even a cameo spot in his videos.

There is at least one Bhutanese person weeping, because MJ is dead, y'all. Yes, even the country that has a filter on outside culture knows MJ.

The man was in the first and best "boy band" ever...And yes, I'm blowing by The Beatles, because I don't consider them a "boy band". They were a simply a band. Dance, R&B singing, weren't what The Beatles were all about.

The Jackson 5, the first true boy band and the most talented of them all inspired every group that followed. They spawned imitators like the Osmonds, New Edition, New Kids on the Block, NSYNC, Backstreet Boys...etc, etc.,

Every group that has had five guys singing and dancing? Copied their schtick from The Jackson 5.

See a pattern here? And yet, none of them have music as sublime in quality as "I'll Be There","I Want You Back", "Who's Loving You"....

And then came the videos. Mike wasn't the first see music videos as cinema. I believe Bowie is among those who should be given credit for that, but his vision is what stuck.

Every modern video that has dance owes their existence to him. He was the first and everybody, everybody, has followed the exact. same. formula ever since.

Off the Wall is a masterpiece. Thriller is the biggest selling album of all time. Michael Jackson is the biggest selling artist in the history of music, people.

Today's pop acts, wish they had a tenth of MJ's soul, magnetism, and yes, class in the face of his massive popularity.

The man is known in every corner of the planet and yet, he was self-effacing enough to allow Weird Al to do his thing, heck even be flattered about it. His philanthropy set a standard in the pop industry.

Take notes, Kanye... You won't get even a sixteenth of fame, but perhaps you can at least learn from the class.

And yes, I said class. I'm more than a little miffed at the news coverage of this. Focusing on his lowest moments which, even if the man banged an elephant on live television could not eclipse the fact that he was the blueprint for modern pop stardom.

...Bigger than Prince. (though Prince is arguably more widely talented)
...Bigger than Elvis. (no competition, seriously)

I doubt news outlets focused so much on Lennon's romantic decisions and how that might have broken up the Beatles, when he passed. I doubt, news outlets focused on the many R&B songs Elvis ~~stole~~ remade for white audiences when he passed.

Whatever your opinion is about the accusations of molestation, the fact is that he was acquitted... And given the ubiquity of the knowledge of the accusations, it was likely for good reason.

Personally, I think he was both mentally wounded and ill. Likely, he never got the help he needed for this. It is my biggest suspicion that he was not a pedophile, but was in fact, melosexual. The only thing I think MJ was sexually attracted to was his music. That's what all the crotch-grabbing was about, y'all.

All of the social particulars that most of us grow and learn about as we age, he never did. He looked upon it all with a permanent, stubborn, innocence. I think he really didn't understand why it would be inappropriate to have so many children surrounding him.

Having said that. Many of the world's best artists are or were in a similar boat. For some reason, high levels of artistic genius tends to come with eccentricity and crazy. So, he's not unique in this. Even Van Gogh self-mutilated, people.

When I was a girl, MJ was the only famous black person everybody loved. He was the most famous person period, on the planet. Can you understand the magnitude of that?

MTV, the formerly all-white network, could not deny him for his skin, because he was just too damn popular!

Pop Music.
Boy bands.
Music videos.
Choreographed Dance.
Blending his appeal with commercial endorsements.

Everyone who has done this since MJ, stole their game from him.

He paved the way for acceptance of every other iconic black figure since and yes, I'm saying it...including the president.

That's his legacy.

R.I.P., Moonwalker.

THE AVATAR YOU SHOULD BE LOOKING FORWARD TO

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:41:00 +0000

*So, I've already talked about the white-washed Avatar. You know, the one with a group of white actors hired play around in Asian and Inuit cultures, pretending to be, well Asian and Inuit?

...No? Check the favorite posts list, under Yellowface Sucks.

Well, there's another Avatar coming. One I cannot wait to see, because the man, James Cameron is helming it.

James Cameron, the man who made the most successful movie of all time, Titanic (don't act like that movie isn't the ish, just because it's not "cool" anymore to like it).

...The man, who made the good Terminator movies and an Alien sequel that topped the first one, in my opinion.

...The man who unapologetically writes awesomely strong women, without even a smidge of pretense. Big-ups to Linda H., Sigourney W., Mary E., Angela B., and Kate W..

...And now we see what he does with Ms. Saldana. I'm predicting Summer Glau as 'River'-like fight sequences, if not better, from this other actor/dancer... And Sigourney, Sam Worthington (I told y'all Hollywood was trying to make him happen!) Giovanni Ribisi (underrated IMO), and Michelle Rodriguez.

Well, the teaser was released a good while ago.

The trailer for the other fail!tastic Avatar, came out recently. ...Which judging from, even the producers know it's wrong having white actors in yellow-face, because a hooded figure doing Star Wars' kid moves (thanks, vivier ) has his caucasian face pretty-well hidden *snort!* because you won't notice/care anyway. ...No, that's not sarcasm.

Anyway... The BETTER Avatar has POC's (people of color) a-plenty in it, cutting edge special effects, and Cameron's 'hasn't made a bad movie yet', pedigree behind it.

So, I'd rather show that teaser, despite the fact that it's pretty old:

Disregard the release date as that has obviously been pushed up to December 18th.

...And here is a new report on the building excitement, just twenty-five minutes of footage has inspired.

*This could be construed as a "promotional post" (among a few others) which I'm firmly against, but if I'm excited?? Then, I'm gonna share it. You can't buy my movie love.

P.S. If this movie ends up sucking, I will disavow all knowledge of this post, despite blog entry proof of its occurrence.

P.P.S. If the negative spoilers I've been hearing about Transformers are correct, it's as expected as some idiot texting at the movies and I WILL be blogging about it.

DRAG ME TO HELL

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:51:00 +0000

The trailers don't do this movie justice. It's clear that Sam Raimi is getting two big messages firmly across with this movie.

#1 "Yeah, I made Spider-man, but the Evil Dead movies weren't that long ago. I still know what's up."

And...

#2 ...making PG-13 horror naysayers, like myself STFU. And yeah, he did that. I was so wrong, y'all. This movie proved that Sam is still the master of gross/funny/scary horror at it's best.

Yup, even with that rating.

A movie doesn't have to be R-rated to be hardcore horror. *

So, now I can honestly say, it ain't the PG-13 trend that has ruined horror cinema. It's looking for the quick buck over quality, re-makes, and those making it who lack the talents of Carpenter/Craven/Raimi/Jackson, somehow becoming this generation's horror flavor. *cough*the makers of Saw*cough*

Maybe, Raimi felt sorry for the new generation of genre-watchers having to grow up into horror wimps because of all the craptacular de-Asianized flicks and light-"jump-scare" 80's remakes.

...because Sam didn't give even a teeny bit of his gross/humor/horror away for this movie...

This PG-13 movie, y'all. ...Amazing.

As soon as I saw a nice ripe yellow lougie in close-up, I knew he had not forsaken his old-school fans. Actually, I knew after that awesome opening. Invisible demon punching a kid in the face, FTW!!

I should never have doubted him. Seriously, if you are a horror fan. A REAL one, I'm talking loves budget gross-outs like Dead Alive, and of course the Evil Dead(s) etc... Basically, the movies Tarentino/Rodriguez's Grindhouse were a tribute to, then this film is right up your alley.

DO NOT MISS THIS MOVIE.

I freaking LOVED IT.

Instant horror classic.

P.S. Pretty much every minority in this movie were "Magical Negroes" except black people! We somehow escaped this time!! There were Latinos, Rom, Indian, shoot even a magical crazy old person (tis' relevent to the previous review, I think)...

So, be afraid of the minorities, young white peepul, BE. VERY. AFRAID!!! *so, I guess that's three messages, Sam got across. ;)

I especially, felt some empathy for Rom people, watching this movie. I mean black people get stereotyped in movies, but gypsies?

I know they're like "OH COME ON! We are not all magical witches/fortune-tellers an' sh*t! -damn!"

P.P.S. Homegirl, should have been bald by the end, I'm just saying.

UP

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:12:00 +0000

Oh damn you, Pixar!!! I was not expecting to love this movie as much as I did (it's personal, y'all) and I was not expecting to be trying to be all covert with the tear-wiping and sniffling beneath my 3-D glasses.

This movie was just so, lovable.

You know, the last time I reviewed a Pixar movie, it was WALL - e, I believe. I mentioned what I thought was the secret to the company's consistent success.

...with Cars being the only semi-stumble (Doc Hollywood re-told with CGI cars and STILL better than most Hollywood movies). That was that they patiently tell a story, devoid of the hip gimmicks and the latest pop culture references, so the tale remains timeless.

As much as Shrek is a fun flick, watch it even now and you can already tell from exactly what time that movie came.

I'm adding to that theory, now. It's like Frank Capra's ghost is blessing this studio. Their movies have the flavor of old-school Hollywood in the best possible way. When folks talk about movies and say they just don't make 'em like that anymore?

They are NOT talking about Pixar.

It's the little things. It's the kaleidoscopic colors, balloons make across a little girl's room and how she reacts. It's the meticulous work that went into rendering a carabiner that I swear looked freaking real, and the Pixar's wonderfully done montage of "Cry bitches! Cry!". *damn you, Pixar! *shakeyfist!*

You'll notice I didn't talk much about the particulars of this movie. That was on purpose. You know, if I love it, I'm not spoiling it. Yes, I'm late as all get out, but if you STILL haven't seen Up, get your butt to the movies and see it already!

It's Pixar, so it has to be good.

I did think the climax was a little "meh". Otherwise, Up would have my highest rating, folks.

P.S. I have to add that one of the best aspects of this movie is that a very wrong notion that Hollywood (and too much of society) hold so firmly too is squashed. That is that once people pass the age of fifty, they become irrelevant, invisible, ignored.

Our elders are the other n*&*^rs, in our society y'all and that's jacked up.

Simply praising the wisdom of the elderly seems patronizing to me, because beyond and more important than that, what they impart on other people is what they do for themselves.

They are still alive and human. They can still make mistakes, have adventures, be strong, live out dreams, and just plain be interesting people, not past-tense.

Grandma Moses, people! *stepping off the soap-box*

UHURA'S UPGRADE

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Sat, 30 May 2009 00:44:00 +0000

*STAR TREK spoilers ahead, kiddies! So, beware!*

I'm letting a bit more of my inner nerd out than usual for this post, in preparation for the upcoming CSTS screening y'all, so bear with me!! *that post is coming soooon!*

So, I have a bit more Trek to discuss, because a certain segment of fans have failed to kneel before the awesome of New!Uhura, for rather dubious reasons.

Usually, they'll say something along the lines of... she was relegated to being just a love interest, she wasn't as classy as Nichelle, or why was she trying to jump Spock's bones in the turbolift/transporter?!

To the first, I present the most eloquent, logical *hee!*, and thorough defense of this aspect of New!Uhura's character I've read, courtesy of liviapenn, over on livejournal.

She contends that if you get mad at Uhura for being too limited, then you've gotta do the same for Bones; since he played a similar role, except smaller and for Kirk, instead.

And my goodness, she's right!

To the second, I agree. Nichelle Nichols was the epitome of cool/sexy as Uhura. She had more classy-sex appeal in her pinky-toe than that entire cast put together. So, why then, I ask, did malicious aliens have to force someone to kiss her?

The limits of the times. 60's TV execs didn't like a black woman even being on the damn show, forget having a love interest....Which brings me to the last bit; why the fact that she has one is a step up, not down.

What feminist fans are forgetting is that black women don't usually get romantic agency on the big screen. Heck, the only black female Oscar winner won for banging the racist who killed her hubby, - I'm just saying...

Far more often, black women are stuck playing the role the original Uhura was, safely peripheral (and asexual) friend. Heck, even Zoe started out her career in that vein. Hello, Center Stage and Crossroads.

So, when I saw New!Uhura on the big screen demanding the place she'd earned on the Enterprise, dissing the womanizer, and being an intelligent woman with a love life, you'll have to excuse me if I didn't cry sexism.

No, I cheered hard for the all-new, upgraded Uhura. I can identify with the black geeky girl, without the stereotypical accouterments, okay? Fierce earrings, black nail polish, and noglasses aren't anti-nerd, umkay?

And WTF?! Chaste kisses and a hug do not = "trying to jump his bones". They = what YOU DO when you love somebody who's hurting, OK?

P.S. For all those howling about where the other women at? If you didn't howl about it for Star Wars, you've gotta ask yourselves, why you're doing it now.

P.P.S. Up is the next movie to be reviewed, peoples.

P.P.P.S. If more women are hopefully added for the sequel, I say Number One > Nurse Chapel and Yeoman Rand. Okay?

P.P.P.P.S YOU GUYS! MR DARCY IS COMIN' THOUGH THE MISTS ON OXYGEN RIGHT NOW *-lesigh!-* Yo. That movie is my ish!! :D

*with apologies to those who did not wish to read DCMovieGirl in full-fledged random ranty-fangirl mode, I hope this entertained you*

Okay, going to bed now, because I am zoinked.

*zzzz*

TERMINATOR: SALVATION

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Sun, 24 May 2009 18:15:00 +0000

If it's not an R-rated movie directed by James Cameron, it ain't a Terminator movie.

I'll get straight to the point.

This movie is crap. It's so bad, I have angry flaily-hands about it, you guys. It's so bad, it should have been a direct to DVD release, because that's for sure, what it felt like.

First of all, Christian Bale is NOT the star, so do not be taken in by the bait-in-switch marketing they have going right now. Some random Aussie, Hollywood is trying to "make happen" is. That's Sam Worthington, who is BTW, the most uncharismatic actor on the planet.

So, why do I have such a seething hatred for this film?

Listen, guys. I'm a TERMINATOR fan from way back. And when I saw Christian Bale was going to be in this reboot, I actually got my hopes up. Say what you will about the anger-management issues (full of hilarity, I say), dude rarely makes straight-up bad movies. And this piece of crap is worse than NEWSIES.

It truly is something a poisoned triceratops might poop out.

I have a REAL problem with inconsistencies in the abilities of villains. If ONE terminator in the first movie is more frightening than ALL of the bots in this damn movie?! Something is wrong.

Someone please tell me why the same Terminator that punched clean through a guy just to get some clothes just randomly tosses John-friggin'-Connor around?!...the one guy they've been trying to kill for four frakkin' movies?!!

...And the movie was BOR-ING.

Newsflash:

Big explosions? Just aren't enough. There has to be a point. And if the point is STUPID...which it was... I. DON'T. CARE.

You know it's bad when you're wishing a kid would die, just for SOMETHING, ANYTHING interesting happening.

I blame McG because really... You have Christian Bale, Bryce Dallas Howard, Anton Yelchin (who actually looked and acted exactly like a young Kyle Reese, he's the only good part of this), and Helena Bonham Carter and they were wasted here. These talents, actually looked bad because McG didn't know what the heck he was doing.

Oh, and the plot. OH, THE PLOT. Cyberdyne Systems creates the protector, this time. ...ON PURPOSE. This is their ultimate plan. I kid you not.

Oh, the stupid. IT HURTS!!!

Please, PLEASE save your money.

Just like THE MATRIX, I'm just going to pretend the other movies don't exist.

...They only made 2 TERMINATOR movies, okay?! *cries*

Yeah, just go see STAR TREK, again.

P.S. AND WTF @ The random INDN WARPAINT?!! ...Had Moon Bloodgood looking like a broke-ass Pris, from BLADERUNNER...

Hollywood? Just so you know... Adding random primitive "ethnic"-looking accoutrements to MODERN minorities IS STUPID. Might as well have put a bone in Sam L.'s nose in PULP FICTION or blue warpaint on Colin Ferrell in MINORITY REPORT.

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG!! FULL TRAILER!!

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Sun, 10 May 2009 04:52:00 +0000

Not gonna lie.
A tiny tear formed.
It was for little black girl inside who had been missing this.
It was that intro that did it.
Screw racial politics.
I'm there. Opening day, dammit.
....Witch doctor, Cajun firefly with the jacked-up teeth, and all.

*prays* PLEASE just be a good movie, PLEEEASE.

If only for hand-drawn animation...*

BEYONCE, PLEASE STOP

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Sun, 03 May 2009 23:20:00 +0000

So, I decided to make this post after reading this. Beyonce should be 31,834,289th on the list, after a ring-tailed lemur. Naomie Harris and Thandie Newton, should be #1 and #2 respectively.

Before Beyonce's foray into "acting" most of the hate for her came from the fact that she was so ubiquitous. I for one, think she's awesome. She writes, sings, she works incredibly hard, and we've never seen paparazzi shots of her vagina or bald head.

People (many women sadly) love to hate other ladies without an obvious blemish. And we love to uplift the under-dogs. Believe me, I'm rooting for Britney too.

Beyonce gets props from me, however, for being the first woman to win a song-writer of the year award, for embracing the gay cult that her Single Ladies video has cemented for her, for her all-woman band, and for bringing it hard for every single performance she's ever done, including the one where she fell down several steps and still got back up and finished the number *cough*ashleysimpson*cough*.

She's a professional in every sense of the word. And as a woman, regardless of how I feel about her Etta James song remake, I am so very proud of her achievements, Houston accent and all.

Now, that said. I really, really, wish she'd stop acting in movies until she gets some training from a coach, on the stage, or in a sitcom.

You know the way Hollywood works. Black rappers and singers are hired far more often than black actors in movies, because they are already somewhat recognizable to the mainstream public. I think the producers believe they'll be an easier sell. So, actors who have been toiling in the trenches for years, like Sanaa Lathan, Morris Chestnut, Nia Long, Taraji P. Henson, and Viola Davis and many others, aren't even considered for large roles in Hollywood over the likes of Alicia Keys, will.i.am, and Beyonce.

I've said before that I don't blame them for getting theirs, but dammit...I kinda' do.

I respect how Will Smith and Queen Latifah did it, for example. They toiled on sitcoms, sharpening their craft and timing. Both started small building their cred and chops before taking on larger roles. In other words, they earned their keep.

...And the one rapper who actually started out as an actor isn't getting near enough roles either, Mos Def.

WTF. HOLLYWOOD.

If you really want to be actors, rappers/singers please, do what Will and Queen did. EARN those stripes. Otherwise all you do (besides cut another check) is make yourself and craft of acting in the hands of black people look awful and take roles from those very capable actors who have earned their stripes and then some.

If you want to get involved? Produce a project and then hire those actors you've admired to be in it. Take that as an opportunity to learn from them.

As for Beyonce. As much as I love her work ethic and girl-power jams, I despise her "acting" and I hate even more the system that continues to hire/praise her without due. NO that Dreamgirls' performance was not Oscar-worthy.

STAY AWAY FROM EARTHA KITT, please. I beg you. I've admired that woman for years. I can't take the idea of Beyonce playing her when we have perfectly capable actors who have been waiting many years for their break. You've already had yours. If you wanna act? Do it the Will/Queen way.

P.S. I've got some things to say about Halle Berry too. As proud as I am of her successes in this industry, I really wish she'd produce projects for other actors, as well. Let another up-and-coming sister take on Nappily Ever After... Because God knows, Hollywood thinks she's the only female black actor on the face of the planet (Storm. REALLY???? *YES I'm still bitter!*) Walk the talk. ...Unless that Academy Awards speech was complete B.S.

P.P.S. Wolverine was aiight but where was that shot of baby Storm from the first trailer??!!

P.P.P.S Obsessed is like the blaxploitation The Hand The Rocks The Cradle/Fatal Attraction, I'm guessing. Nope. Didn't see it. I think there are two reasons it was #1. Stereotypes on parade and girlfights. Both of which suck. We need more Charlies' Angels (without Charlie) and fewer Bride Wars, pleasethanx.

STAR TREK

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 02:52:00 +0000

That's right. I'm back, and with an early review of a highly anticipated film, no less.

I was very nervous about this one, y'all. I mean sure it's J.J. Abrams and he has good history with telling wonderfully-twisty and yet engrossing stories...but when I saw the baby-faced primary players in the first trailer? I just clapped my hands under my chin, squeezed my eyes shut, and whispered a quick "...please don't let this be 90210 in space...".

Well, folks? I can assure you it's far from that. In fact, dare I say?... It's almost level with Wrath of Khan. Definitely better than First Contact, my second fave.

Yup. J.J. hit the ball out of the park. The film was a tight, efficient, little story-telling machine that had just the right proportions of everything needed to suceed in the ultimate goal. ...Creating the basis for a whole new franchise. :)

Folks worried about the actors being able to pull off the spirit of the O.G.'s?? Stop. They did it with comfortable ease. I was pleased that they did keep Uhura, Miss Zoe Saldana classy and gave Mr. Sulu, John Cho a nice moment. I especially give props to the new Bones Karl Urban ("I've dug ya' since Hercules, bruh!"), Mr. Quinto as Spock, and Chris Pine, especially for his all-too-brief, spot-on shatnerjog *that seriously, he had me rolling!*.

And that jog is just tip of the iceberg when it comes to subtle nods to the show. I actually believe even the picky hardcore Trekkies will be pleased. Shoot, they better be. J.J. just performed a miracle, bringing their fandom's obsession back from the brink of death.

The only thing that took me out of the film were the random smattering of "WTF's?" illicited by the random cameo by Tyler Perry. ...Yup, THAT Tyler Perry.

My question is this. If you are a Trekkie Mr. Perry, as I suspect, how about making some afro-sci-fi, instead of the stale chicken circuit gospel play-movies??

Still, this film is a must-see. All that could go wrong, didn't.
...I think Star Trek may be this year's Iron Man, y'all.

PARENTS: Take the kiddies! It's very tame by PG-13 standards.

GOING THROUGH SOME STUFF...

ms.cinemama@gmail.com (Ms☆Go (dcmoviegirl)) — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:52:00 +0000

Just letting folks know. I'm going through some things, just now. So, the posts will be on hold for awhile. I'm hoping I can at least be on the up-track before the month is out.

Peace.