Young Adult Spring Retreat

April 13-15, 2012

Northbay Retreat Center on the Cheapeake
(North East, MD)

Join us for a weekend of spiritual renewal.

For more information or to register,
http://springretreat.eventbee.com

*ages 18 – 35

Sponsored by the Metro D.C. and the Delaware/Maryland Synods of the ELCA

Author:  Kirstin McCarthy

My father was once a Catholic priest. We are not Catholic. He attends Zen Buddhist retreats in Providence, Massachusetts and New York. He walks with Tich Nhat Hanh. We are not Buddhist. We say Hebrew prayers over Thanksgiving dinner. We are not Jewish. I went to a Quaker high school and for four years attended Quaker meeting weekly. I am not Quaker, though I do consider myself a seeker, perhaps in a different sense.

As I have wandered through life, my early faith community was a Lutheran church in my hometown. I have been touched and shaped deeply by this community. My mother (who was a member of the Swedish Covenant Church) and my father (who continued to practice as a Catholic after he left the priesthood) both dropped their religious affiliations in search of a faith community close to home when I was born. What they found was a young, vibrant and welcoming church called Emmanuel Lutheran. It was a source of invaluable strength for me during my youth.

Faith for me has been, more than anything, the community that I find at church. Church community members support one another, share some common ground, and some differences, and most importantly, they carry each other in times of need. I think “carrying each other” is particularly important to me.

My mother died when I was 10 of a disease called ALS- Lou Gherig’s disease. The congregation at Emmanuel played an invaluable role in supporting my family during my mom’s illness. Visitors made it possible for her never to leave our home for a hospital. In her longest days, our pastor and other members of the community were in our home around the clock. This is a community that I know has seen me at my worst. And they love me still. I can’t tell you how much they carried me.

I struggle with this faith as well. While I believe unalterably in the goodness of the community I’ve found there, I am often troubled by the aspects of Christianity I can’t understand. I find that I sing hymns always, but I do not speak the creeds.

I don’t know what I believe about Jesus, or God, or disciples, or the Bible. God is wrathful and God has unconditional love. How can it be both? Why has that God of unconditional love, who provided such support for my family in our time of need, forsaken our gay friends, who want to be married in this same community? Where is God’s unconditional love for them? In the bible God protected Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego from the fires. Why didn’t he protect my mother from the pain and suffering of her illness?  Moses “parted” a sea. How exactly did he do that? While I recognize the understanding that these stories are mythic metaphors rather than scientific realities, sometimes I fail to find, or disagree with their representative meaning. A big question for me has always been, why in the world did Jesus have to die for our sins?  I’m baffled by how that solved anything.

For me, these questions are vital. I believe there must be more there than what meets the eye, because the “halleluiah moments” I have known in my life have been so awesome. And, I don’t ultimately question why disease stole my mother from me because those life events have made me exactly who I am. I believe strongly that there is a powerful life force that I want to know more intimately. The reminder, every Sunday morning, that I should keep pushing to understand that, and that others too want to understand it too, is vital.

With each question that I ask myself about God, Christianity and organized religion in general, I find I uncover a deeper understanding of myself, and ultimately, my faith. A quote from the letters of Rainer Maria Rilke embodies what faith and spirituality are to me.

Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart

And try to love the questions themselves…

Don’t search for the answers,

Which could not be given to you now,

Because you would not be able to live them.

And the point is, to live everything,

Live the questions now.

Perhaps then, someday far in the future,

You will gradually, without even noticing it,

Live your way into the answer.

~Rainer Maria Rilke

For me, the crux is not at all living my way, “into the answer”, but to, “live the questions now.” Living those questions, and pushing myself to explore them deeply, and in community with others, is a wildly exciting notion to me.

image by Dom Dada (rights)

Faith Lutheran Church, Arlington, VA

2010 is the Year of the Young Adult in the Metropolitan Washington D.C. Synod. During the year, lay people and clergy from congregations all across the synod  (and even beynod its geographical and denominational borders) have come together to learn about who young adults are and how our congregations can connect with them.

As the Year of the Young Adult comes to a close, we want to think about where we go now.  How can congregations do young adult ministry in their communities? What will that look like ? What resources are avaialable? Who’s doing this well? What’s already happening in the synod?

This conference will address these questions and many more.

THE SPEAKER will be Pastor Matt Miofsky of The Gathering United Methodist Church in St. Louis, MO. Pastor Miofsky will tell the story of his congregation, which started with young adults and grew into a growing, thriving, multigenerational congregation. He worked with the denomination to re-open a congregation which had closed.

In addition to learning from Pastor Miofsky’s experience, we will learn about what is happening in the synod, what is working in the synod, and what resources the synod has to offer your congregation in this endeavor in your community.

THE COST OF THIS EVENT IS FREE! Due to the synod’s emphasis on young adult ministry and its generous support for young adult ministry in tthe year 2010, we are able to offer this event at no cost to particpants! We hope this will enable congregations to bring as many people as possible to dream about what is possible in your congregations and communities!

Click here to register!

Image copyright 2010 by Luther Place Church.  All rights reserved.  Used with permission.

This article is part of an ongoing series called “Young Adult Voices.” This series gives young adults who are either in congregations or searching for a congregation a voice to express their cares and frustrations about the Church. Because many of these young adults are trying to find  places of welcome in Washington area ELCA congregations, the articles are anonymous.

As a single mid-20′s young adult in Washington, my life consists of any number of things:  from taking steps to advance and begin my career, to keeping up with friends from college who are spread all over the country, to working on a social life here in DC- my time, and especially the time on the weekends, seems to bleed away before I know it.  And, as a single mid-20′s Christian young adult-this has created an interesting dynamic in my faith life.

I consider my faith to be an extremely important part of my life, but with life the way it is for me right now, I might not always be able to attend Sunday morning services with the regularity that I did as a youth growing up, or that an older generation might find more “normal.”  The reasons why are numerous; being out of town, having visitors in town, work commitments and, yes, if I’m being honest, sometimes just being lazy (among a variety of others), -but the key is that just because I might not always be at church doesn’t mean that I don’t consider having a faith community to be important-on the contrary, I consider it extremely important.

A shared community of believers is something wonderful, and while relationships and friends provide some of that community in my life, I nonetheless feel connected to the congregation I attend here in town, even though I’m not always there on Sunday mornings.  And the way I feel connected is through the other opportunities that are available to partake of the church community:  the young adult activities at night, the service opportunities, and the personal relationship that I’m working on creating.  But even more significantly, I feel more connected to that congregation when that community has actively reached out to me and made me feel that I’m wanted.

Its those times when I have been at church, or other events, and people have approached me about coming to coffee hour after the service or attending a young adult’s event that I’ve really felt connected to that community.  And even more specifically, its not just those times when someone simply mentioned it to me, but when someone has taken the affirmative steps to facilitate me being a part of that community – whether its been a simple offer to grab coffee after the service together or to meet up at an event happening later in the week – its been those times when someone has taken the extra step that I’ve felt the most connected.  And those efforts, little though they may seem at the time, are the reason I want to make this church community a bigger part of my life, the reason why I’ll continue to attend church activities, and reason why I’m starting to feel more at home and a part of that place-even though I might not always be around on Sunday mornings.

image by PHOTO.WORKS (rights)

Last night I watched the Bachelorette.  I never watch the Bachelorette.  I don’t know what got into me, but I sat on the couch, for two hours, listening to the guys “tell all” and recount their stories from the season.  Mostly I watched as they and this season’s Bachelorette, Ali, spoke of finding love and her quest to find the man of her dreams.

But as I watched, I thought about how different their experiences have been from my own – and if any relationship that begins in such a setting (not only in exotic locations, but on national TV) can survive the reality of life (most don’t – I think only two or three couples have actually made it down the aisle and are still together).

Is this the standard by which we’ve begun to judge our lives?  National television and reality shows?  Andrew Root, in his book, The Promise of Despair, recounts exactly that – we’ve begun to see life through a variety of screens.  We want our romantic lives to be like the fairy tale of romance on the Bachelor/Bachelorette (and cry or pout when they aren’t that way, just as almost all the dismissed girls and guys do), or our experiences of having a baby like that on TLC’s A Baby Story.  It seems in many respects, TV and the internet have become the basis by which we live our lives – we’re inundated with information that tells us how we should be living and what life is like.

But what about when it isn’t?  This is precisely when the crucified Christ encounters us – in our pain and our despair.  Love is not all about romance and frequently it involves a lot of pain.  The promise of God is one that promises to enter into that pain with us, to not shy away from it, to give life in the midst of it; all without profiting from it.  ”Good” television means a lot of drama and suffering – we want to see others cry so we can feel better about ourselves.  But what if real redemption comes not when everything goes the way we want, but by entering into the reality of pain with somebody who loves us by our side?

Photo: Some rights reserved by Lubs Mary.

All young adults from the Metro DC Synod are invited to join us for the weekend of September 17-19 for a retreat and recreation at Mar-Lu Ridge www.mar-lu-ridge.org – just over an hour from downtown DC. Get an early start by going out Friday evening or plan to arrive by 10am Saturday. There will be some planned activities around our theme, but also free time for hiking, canoeing or doing the ropes course. It is a beautiful area and we should hit the start of the turning leaves!

Overnight accommodations are available for both Fri (8 spaces) and Saturday (35 spaces) nights in cabins with full bath. Day-trippers are welcome, but please consider staying over 1 or both nights as there will be fellowship late into the night you might not want to miss!! Meals will be prepared by camp staff and eaten in the dining area.

Suggested cost is $65/person to cover retreat expenses. Please indicate your contribution on the registration form which you may download below:

>>> Click Here For Registration Form <<<

Please send your completed form to:

Lutheran Church of the Reformation

212 E. Capitol St.

Washington, DC 20003

Attn: Brian Hornbecker

Author: Amy Thompson Sevimli

I’ve noticed a couple of churches in the area geared toward young adults and those who “don’t go to church” named Grace.  And I’ve been intrigued by the choice of the name Grace.   It’s a highly loaded theological word, and one which some people have told me has no resonance with younger generations.  These people claim that younger generations don’t believe they actually sin, “fall short,” or “miss the mark,” and thus have no need of grace. Yet, these new churches are drawing in lots of new young adults.

Now, I’m not suggesting that people attend a church just because they like its name. However, I cannot believe that churches as savvy as these would choose names that they knew from the outset would not resonate with the younger generations they were trying to reach. In fact, I think it’s just the opposite.

My sense is that younger generations are very aware of all the ways in which they “fall short” and “miss the mark,” and they are looking for ways to change their ways.  They want to do better and be better. Usually, they are interested in doing something about that, so that their shortcomings are a little less pronounced and they can seek to find a little more favor in God’s sight—to earn God’s grace.

The only problem with this is of course that we cannot earn God’s grace or love.  Because God doesn’t love us when we finally change to righteous behavior.  God loves us so that we can change.  As Father Richard Rohr says:  “…we’ve been given an inferior message—that God loves me “when” I change (“moralism”).  What that does is put it back on you.  You’re back to “navel gazing” and you never succeed at that level.  You are never holy enough, pure enough, refined enough, or loving enough.  Whereas, when you fall into God’s mercy, when you fall into God’s great generosity, you find, seemingly from nowhere, this capacity to change.  No one is more surprised than you are.  You know it is a gift.” (Richard Rohr, Following Mystics through the Narrow Gate).

I would disagree with those who claim that younger generations disregard grace because they supposedly have no concept of “falling short” or sinning.  On the contrary, I think that since young adults were young children they have been reminded just how short they fall, how often they fall that short, and how far and long the road is to make up for that.  So, I can’t imagine what a greater gift than grace could be for younger generations…to be told a completely different story: that God first loved us (1 John 4.19) and that because God loved and loves us even now, they, even we, can change. It’s not something we earn, or something for which we try to close some kind of gap in which we’ve fallen short. Rather, it’s something we’ve already been given and in which we now live.

image by Mike_tn (rights)

Are we free?  Are we truly free?  Or is freedom a mere illusion, a convenient fiction, a lie we tell ourselves to make our condition more bearable?  That centuries old question is been revived today in part by discoveries in the field of behavioral genetics.  The mapping of the human genome (i.e. the sets of instructions that we carry in our cells) presents us with a crisis in meaning, a crisis in our understanding of what it means to be a human being, with repercussions in all aspects of life, from medicine to jurisprudence to theology.

But a crisis, as is often repeated, is also an opportunity; a crisis constitutes an opening, a break with something (the end of one thing) and therefore the potentiality of the beginning of something new.  We are in the midst of a crisis of what it means to be human, and that is scary and exciting, dangerous and full of possibilities.  We are in uncharted terrain, in a new place, and according to the perspective of faith, it is the Spirit of God that has brought us to this place.

We are free to create or destroy.  We are free to surrender our freedom to the suicidal compulsions of greed, to the satisfaction of our ephemeral but bottomless whims.  We are also free to use our freedom to enhance our capacity to choose life-giving ways of being in the world and of being in relationship with other humans, with other creatures, with ourselves, and with our God.  Rubem Ales, a Brazilian theologian and psychoanalyst, has used the metaphor of the kite to describe the paradox of human freedom.  Without the string that pulls it down, the kite cannot fly.  Without the wind that pushes it in the opposite direction, it cannot fly either.  The kite can only fly when it is simultaneously pulled down by the string and pushed up by the wind.  Humanity is certainly constrained by its genome but it is also pushed to transcendence by the Spirit that blows from within the ground of our being.  Thus the human spirit soars in freedom.  We are made to be free.

We are free to become what God is calling us to be, or not.  We are free to participate in God’s ongoing work of creation which includes ourselves.  In Christ we are given the freedom and courage to become who God is calling us to be.

Photo: Some rights reserved by .scribe

This article is part of an ongoing series called “Young Adult Voices.” This series gives young adults who are either in congregations or searching for a congregation a voice to express their cares and frustrations about the Church. Because many of these young adults are trying to find  places of welcome in Washington area ELCA congregations, the articles are anonymous.

For a city that should be a model to the rest of our nation, DC’s got a long way to go.  I’ve been a resident here for a year and a half now, and it didn’t take me long to realize that our schools suck, our roads suck, cost of living sucks, traffic sucks, our hospitals suck, and parking is horrendous.  I made the big mistake of bringing a car to DC in April.  I didn’t particularly want to have it, but because of a family emergency, I needed to borrow my mom’s car, just for a few months.  I never knew a cute speedy Jetta could be such a huge stressor, but as I searched through parking options and stood in line at the DMV for hours, I quickly learned that DC is not on my side.

I am 23.  In the next 10 years, it is likely that I will go to grad school, get married, settle into a career path, buy my first house, and maybe even have a kid or few (not necessarily in that order)!  How is it that all of those other pieces are supposed to fall into place when I can’t even find a place to park my car??!  Forgive me for being a bit dramatic, but there are days when I’m quite sure I’ll never achieve anything off that intimidating list.  And on my most dramatic days, I feel completely alone in the struggle.

Towards the end of college, I met regularly with a career counselor from Luther’s Career Center – Mark.  I joked with him that I’d like him to be my career counselor for life, but seriously! – who is supposed to help me now?  My challenges seem bigger and my questions more in depth as my understanding of the world both grows and diminishes at the same time.  Where is Mark now?  And can he help me find a place to park my car??

This is where the church is presented with an opportunity and often fails (according to me).  While churches are slowly gaining wisdom about creating and energizing Young Adult groups, they must not forget the power of intergenerational relationships.  We need each other.  I need my peers so we can commiserate together about being 23 and completely lost.  And I need the older adults in the church who have gone before me…who have successfully made it through their 20s and live to tell about it!

One of the most vocationally helpful exercises I’ve been through came from the Quaker tradition.  At a recent Volunteers Exploring Vocation retreat (put on by the Fund for Theological Education), I participated in a Quaker Clearness Committee.  Clearness Committees are designed to help an individual wrestle with an issue through listening and asking questions.  About six people sat in a circle around me that day.  I presented my issue – should I apply for grad school in the fall or keep working?  And for the next hour, they were only allowed to ask questions and welcome silence.  I did not walk away from that experience with a yes or no answer.  But somehow, I left feeling freer and more well-equipped to choose my path.

In the Quaker tradition, a Clearness Committee would meet with you again and again until you feel as though your issue is resolved.  It’s this sense of community that I feel has been lacking from my church experience.  Not the chatty, nosy community – there’s plenty of that in the Lutheran church!  (It’s clear to me that people are curious what I’ll do next.)  What I find less frequently are genuine listening ears who treat my struggles as their own.  Who seek to ask questions rather than offering answers that worked for them when they were my age.

I ended up having to rent a parking spot for $120 a month.  Less than ideal, but at least it’s taken care of.  And I decided not to go to grad school right away.  Yet somehow, life keeps happening, whether I’m ready for it or not.  Still, I am convinced that we do not have to be alone on this journey!  I invite you to come with me – for the journey is long, and we weren’t created to walk this road alone.

image by JaseMan (rights)

This article is part of an ongoing series called “Young Adult Voices.” This series gives young adults who are either in congregations or searching for a congregation a voice to express their cares and frustrations about the Church. Because many of these young adults are trying to find  places of welcome in Washington area ELCA congregations, the articles are anonymous.

I recently visited a friend of mine from college in Philadelphia.  He’s been there for two years, having moved from the Midwest to attend graduate school.  While we walked the streets of his neighborhood and caught up, he confided in me that he was lonely.

My friend is smart, successful, and generous.  He’s interesting and outgoing.  But here he was, sharing that he’s lonely in a city of millions of people.  He said he didn’t connect with the people in his program.  His new job is at a small firm without many people his age.  His closest friend in the city is a girl he used to date, and while they still get along well, she is seeing someone else these days.

I’ll bet my friend’s story is common.  Even in this media-soaked, interconnected culture, many young adults still are looking for connection and community.  And they aren’t always sure where to find it.

Thinking about my friend’s story made me think about my own social life over the ten years since college.  The place I’ve primarily sought community is church, and I’ve always been fortunate to find it.  But the first thing I’ve looked for in a church hasn’t been the name on the door – it’s been the quality of community inside.

I’ve worshipped for lengths of time at a charismatic church that had people speaking in tongues and running the aisles, and I’ve attended a church so conservative that they didn’t use instruments or permit women to pray during the service.  I went to each – not because of denomination and certainly not because of doctrine – but because I found peers and community (and in one case, a girl).

And I didn’t find the Lutheran church I currently attend because it’s Lutheran.  I participate in this church because friends I respect attended there, so I followed.  And once inside, I found that my gifts and participation have been valued, and I am surrounded by committed, connected people who share my passion for social justice.

While my friend and I walked and talked, he also mentioned he’s giving online dating a try.  He’s not content with the bar scene, and he hasn’t met many quality eligible women through work or school, so he’s turned online to meet new people.

At this point, some might be wondering why I didn’t suggest that my friend find a good church, since that’s been where I’ve found such rewarding relationships (and even a few eligible bachelorettes).  But there’s a catch – he’s not a Christian.

I’m honestly not sure what it would take to get him to darken the door of a church, but I know that most traditional churches wouldn’t present much appeal.  Raised in a devout Christian home, he gave up his faith in college after a truly genuine struggle with doubt.  If he were even willing to visit a church, he’d need a place that understands doubt and where hard questions can be asked without receiving easy, Sunday school answers.

As someone who works for a real estate company that develops affordable housing for low-income renters, my friend would probably need a church that connected with his values of service and activism.  And as a music junkie and amateur musician himself, he’d probably look for a place that could offer a worship experience of depth and sincerity – even if the quality isn’t always the best – that went beyond worn out hymns and cheesy praise choruses.

And given my friend’s bout with loneliness and struggle to meet eligible women, it probably wouldn’t hurt if the church he visited had single people his age.  It’s a reality that young, single people attract young, single people, whether at the local watering hole or the local church.  Most unchurched, single 30-somethings I know aren’t ready to trade their leisurely Sunday morning brunches and New York Times browsing for a church service with a room of people double their age.

I hope my friend can find good community, and I’d be thrilled if it were through a church.  I wish he lived in DC so he could visit mine.  However, I’m honestly not very confident that – even if he were actually interested in darkening a church door – he’d have much luck walking into a local church of whatever denomination and finding much of what I list above.  But here’s hoping.

image by Gret@Lorenz è una combattente! (rights)