It’s for your own good.

1. The ‘Ties Suck’ Tie

The awful intersection of Business Professional and Smarmy Gremlin. If you’re in a position that requires you to wear a necktie, but you still feel the need to grin behind your hand at all those poor fools that can’t read binary on the spot, I have several questions:

1.) How can you afford to fill your bathtub with that much room-temperature Mountain Dew?
2.) Don’t the face prosthetics for your Gul Dukat cosplay deserve a rest after 15 years of faithful, fragrant service?
3.) Do you ever become gripped with the terror that the rest of /r/redpill only upvotes your posts out of pity?

2. Too Stupid To Understand Science Shirt

 You watched one episode of Cosmos back in college, and you have a burning sense of guilt over torrenting Muse’s whole discography instead of paying for it. One time you wore this shirt underneath a flannel shirt when you went home for Thanksgiving dinner, and your vaguely religious grandmother didn’t ask what the rest of “o stupid t erstand scie y religi” was, because she didn’t care. Nobody cared. In the crisp November air, your radiative smugness kept everybody uncomfortably warm.

3. I Actually Need These Glasses Shirt

Even your encyclopedic knowledge of William Shatner’s Star Trek novelizations isn’t enough to fill the yawning abyss of your need for validation. You were an integral part of Invader Zim’s early online fandom, and have typed the word TACOS!!! (all-caps, exclamation point, every time, no exceptions) more times than you’ve had hot meals in your life, most of those hot meals being Dinty Moore beef stew.

4. Noobs Mouse Pad

If your mom has told you once, she’s told you a thousand times – don’t leave dozens and dozens of empty Cool Ranch Doritos bags in the laundry hamper, not even the huge, fragrant hoodie you made out of Cool Ranch Doritos bags. The smell of fabric softener combined with Cool Ranch seasoning is enough to make her hover over your face with a pillow while you sleep, whispering “It would be so easy. I could have my life back.”

5. Made With Love (and Science) Bodysuit

I know what you’re going to say: “Dude, that’s a baby, you can’t just shove babies into lockers, no matter how adorably tiny the locker is.” That’s a valid point, okay? I agree. But when you start just tacking the word SCIENCE onto everything like some wretched bumper sticker, you’ve chosen to plunge this world into an amoral wasteland where words have no meaning anymore. Giving a baby a swirlie technically involves SCIENCE. Extorting a baby for their lunch money? SCIENCE. Way to doom us all to hell, Science Onesie.

6. <sarcasm> Tag Shirt

 You’re really, really bad at being sarcastic, and I swear on all that’s holy, I’m gonna to give you a noogie so vigorous, you’ll have an expression permanently etched on your face to match the XD you type after every sentence on your Spongebob roleplay blog.

7. Funny Little Brains

 Aside from the fact that this shirt makes it look like Sherlock is berating his own wallpaper for not being as smart as him, let’s not screw around here – you wish you were Sherlock, right? An unbearably rude human calculator who can treat everybody like garbage and get away with it because of how deeply, deeply special he is and as I say that I realize that it sounds pretty sweet and I also want to live in a world without consequences, so consider your swirlie pending until further research can be conducted.

8. Wesley Crusher Uniform Hoodie

 “Haha, it’s ironic,” you tell your crusty gremlin buddies, “because Wesley Crusher.” Your friends aren’t smiling. They all have a lean, hungry look, and you’ve become acutely aware of the sweat gathering in the gray pits of your new hoodie. They merge their bodies, flesh melting into flesh to form one enormous mouth of terrible proportions. The interlocking body-mouth booms “SHUT UP, WESLEY” with enough force to force you into a locker three counties away, where you’ll have enough time to think about the error of your ways.

9. Bring Out Your Undead

 Novelty nerd shirt sites will do this thing where they have a hatful of different shows and movies and comics, and they’ll pull them out at random and go “The Eye of Sauron…with…the Impala from Supernatural. Screw it, just put it on the shirt, it’ll sell like narcotic hotcakes. Narcotcakes, that’s what.” This shirt is like being trapped in a broom closet with the worst high school AV Club in the world, and the two simultaneous conversations happening are a litany of Monty Python & The Holy Grail references and a discussion about how they would outlast the zombie apocalypse. The only solution is to dunk everybody’s face in mopwater until they let you go home.

10. Enough Social Interaction

You don’t need to wear this shirt just to let people know you’re cooler than they are. Cover yourself in day-old Bisquick batter and mutter “I wonder how much blood I can fit in my mouth” periodically while around strangers. This awful smug shirt is $20. Do you know how much Bisquick you can buy for $20? It’s simple economics and I’m helping you to become your best self. Nobody ever wants to talk to the Bisquick Man.

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1. Gelato (Italy)

Speaking of ice cream, have you ever savored homemade gelato from a street corner in Italy? This dense frozen treat is whipped up with milk instead of cream, making for a more flavorful delicacy. With nearly 37,000 gelato shops in Italy, it’s only a matter of time until you are drawn in by the shops’ colorful, eye-catching displays.

2. Gulab Jamun (India)

This isn’t your average drive-thru donut. These deep-friend dough balls are dipped in a sugary, sticky syrup flavored with cardamom seeds, rosewater or saffron, and is often served at special events like birthdays and weddings. You’ll sometimes see it served with a dainty side of yogurt, but we’re betting you’ll pop these bite-sized balls of deliciousness into your mouth by the handful as soon as you get your first taste.

3. Suspiro de Limeña (Peru)

Named for its sweet and light flavor, this dessert’s name means “the sigh of a woman”—yes, it’s that good. This classic Peruvian recipe is made with dulce de leche (or manjar blanco in Peru) and topped with stiff meringue peaks crafted with port wine. It’s so intensely sweet, so exquisite, you just might sigh with delight when that first spoonful of confection hits your lips.

4. Chocolate Soufflé (France)

If you’re looking for a rich, decadent treat, look no further than France’s Chocolate Soufflé. It’s essentially a light chocolate cake with an ooey-gooey-oh-so-delectable chocolate filling. To top it off, the French infuse the dessert with Grand Marnier, which gives it a mild citrusy flavor.

5. Belgian Waffles (Belgium)

What we’ve adopted as the Belgian Waffle in North America cannot be compared to the original found in Belgium. This dessert-turned-breakfast item is more commonly known as the Brussels Waffle or Liège Waffle in Belgium and is eaten as a street food — not as the soggy concoction saturated in butter and syrup that we know in the West. The light, crisp, deep-pocketed Brussels Waffle is most often dusted with confectioner’s sugar and that’s it. The melt-in-your-mouth wonder doesn’t need anything else, whereas the Liège Waffle offers a richer, denser, sweeter taste thanks to the caramelized sugar on the waffle’s edges.

6. N’dizi No Kastad (Zanzibar)

From a distance, it looks like a fleet of ants attacking a mound of sand, but fear not! This banana custard dessert is made with a delicious vanilla pudding and flavored with sugar, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and peanuts. In this case, it appears the pastry chef sprinkled on some chocolate shavings to top off the look.

7. Pavlova (Australia and New Zealand)

In the outback, this light and airy dessert is popular among mates in Australia and New Zealand for its marshmallow-like texture. Named after Russian ballerina, Anne Pavolva, who visited Australia in the 1920s, this meringue-based dessert is surrounded by a crisp crust and is usually topped with fruit — think kiwi, passion fruit, blueberries, raspberries, pomegranates or strawberries ... mmm!

8. Dobos Torte (Hungary)

Commence mouth-watering. This Hungarian five-tiered sponge cake is layered with chocolate butter cream, flavored with lemon and topped with caramel. And it doesn’t stop there: the outer edges of the cake are coated with ground hazelnuts, chestnuts, walnuts or almonds. The alternate layers of sponge cake and chocolate or mocha cream (there are over 100 variations of this pastry) guarantee a party in your mouth — every time.

9. Alfajores (Argentina)

It’s a cookie. It’s a sandwich. It’s a variation of the whoopie pie? This popular Argentinean dessert sandwiches dulce de leche filling between two soft shortbread cookies and is often serve with a side of chocolate dipping sauce, powered sugar or coconut. Some are even coated in the aforementioned confections. What’s not to love?

10. Castle Pudding (England)

We’ll wrap it up with a royal dessert: Castle Pudding. This centuries-old delicacy is traditionally baked in a dariole mold, giving it that towering volcano look. Which is appropriate, given that this dessert explodes with flavor thanks to the generous dose of strawberry jam that cascades down the sides. Seconds anyone?

While most of us won’t be country-hopping anytime soon, there are plenty of recipes available online for those who want to try their hand at imitating the aforementioned international desserts. Get started by stocking up on all your sugars and spices at Save-a-Lot!

Image Credit 1, Image Credit 2, Image Credit 3, Image Credit 4, Image Credit 5, Image Credit 7, Image Credit 8, Image Credit 9, Image Credit 10

The post Around the World in 10 Desserts appeared first on Everybody Loves Coupons.

1. "The One" Chocolate Mug Cake

via BudgetBytes

If you have a a mug, a microwave and one minute to spare you'll have the perfect thing to satisfy those light night chocolate cravings.

2. 3-Ingredient Nutella Croissants

via Gimme Some Oven

The easiest eclairs you've ever made!

3. No-Bake Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars

via Sally's Baking Addiction

For those that find the microwave is just still one step too many there's the glorious "no bake" options.

4. Best & Easiest Peach Cobbler

via This Girl's Life Blog

We're not sure what "cobbler" means but we think it can be translated to "throw a bunch of stuff in a pan, bake it, and deliciousness will be yours."

5. No Bake Peanut Butter Cheesecake with Nutter Butter Crust

via Crazy For Crust

We wouldn't have been so adamant about the crusts being cut off our sandwiches if they'd been made of Nutter Butters.

Ready to get baking?  Head over to CHEFS Catalog to pick up whatever baking supplies you might need! (Although with these recipes it's likely to be a light shopping cart!)

Featured Image Credit

The post 5 Delicious Desserts that Are Irresponsibly Easy to Make appeared first on Everybody Loves Coupons.

1. German Chocolate Cupcakes With Sauerkraut (The Evil That Men Do)

You see “German chocolate” and you feel a warm wave of euphoria wash over you.  But there is a surfboard cresting upon that wave, and like the Herald of Galactus, this surfer is a portent of world-devouring darkness. The crumbled almonds, pecans, and coconut shavings squatting atop the cupcake rest like crooked headstones over unclean ground, and buried beneath the chocolate soil, the unquiet cabbage spirits eagerly wait to drag your mouthparts down to hell. Low-fat alternative, the souls of the damned whisper with voices soaked in applesauce and corn starch, low-fat alternative.

2. Sour Cream Ice Cream with Caramelized Pear Compote (Woe Unto You, O Earth and Sea)

Like any good monster, it’s comprised of good and bad parts, the holy and the profane – caramelized pears mix with sour cream until all you’re left with is a gnarled slurry of moral gray area. It tells just enough truth to give its lies the power they need to seduce you into betraying everything you’ve ever believed in. “Scrape vanilla bean seeds into mixture and whisk until blended,” the recipe hisses, “and think not on the work of your hands, for even now the seeds they sow promise a bumper crop of iniquity, flowering forth to prepare a place for you in the vanilla inferno. Cinnamon stick optional.”

3. Makeover Fruit Pizza (Rotten Trees Bear Foul Nectar)

You fooled around with ham-and-pineapple pizza when you were young and fresh and the world was a wide-open garden of delights. You told yourself that fruit and pizza could intermingle, that the tangy addition of pineapple couldn’t hurt, and now Beelzebub’s fruit basket has been delivered to your doorstep with no return address. You want real pizza. You want a world of concrete truth and trust, but your dalliances with fruited pizza have doomed us all. The cream cheese is also reduced-fat, and optional garnishes are sackcloth sprinkles, ashes, and the tang of your own tears.

4. Vinegar Pie (Vinegar Pie)

I was going to write a flowery description about Vinegar Pie, but bruh. Nope. I couldn’t even type the first word.  I’m going to hug my loved ones and lie down for a while, and wait for the earth to get sucked into a black hole. Pie that is vinegar. Vinegar pie.

5. Blueberry Kale Ice Cream (Brimstone, Hopelessness, Acceptance)

We all tell ourselves certain lies just to get by and avoid playing footsie with the abyss. But some lies will never come true no matter how much we wish it were otherwise, and one of those lies is kale, a stunningly gross plant that has slowly infiltrated our homes like a hippie that you can’t scrape off your couch. It suffuses the ice cream with a faintly gangrenous glow, transmuting a delicious dessert standard into a rotten monument to hubris. Is there anything holy or pure in this world? Can there yet remain some righteousness untainted by our iniquities? The recipe even instructs you to stretch saran wrap over the mixture before freezing so that skin does not form on the surface of this abomination. Its aspiration to cultivate flesh is an attempt to become more like the hands that wrought it – flawed, profane, and uglier than homemade sin.

If you feel an overwhelming need to expiate yourself of humanity’s transgressions, head on over to Shari’s Berries, where you can find delicious cheesecake and chocolate-dipped strawberries. Shari’s Berries wants good things for you and your life. Bite into one of their delicious swizzled strawberries and learn to trust humanity again, one bite at the time.

The post 5 Desserts Sweetened With Betrayal appeared first on Everybody Loves Coupons.

1. The Question

Vaping 24 hours a day. The Question would never not be vaping, or talking about vaping, or vaping about vaping. The money that The Question would not have spent on e-juice would have been invested in Bitcoin, and his subsequent bankruptcy would only be soothed by another drag on that sweet, sweet vape pen. He’d also spend like 12 hours a day on /r/TheRedPill, creating threads like “Can we talk about how Rorschach is a beta male version of me” and “Please somebody just touch me, oh God I’m so lonely, wake up sheeple.”

2. She-Hulk

Your life would be marked by tragedy if she wasn’t your best friend. As adept at practicing law as giving a catcaller a German suplex through several park benches, Jennifer Walters would make everyone else look like total garbage just by sheer contrast. People interviewing her would be too terrified to ask about her diet and how she fits into her superhero costume because any time they’d start in with that line of questioning, she would grab their coffee table edition of Gravity’s Rainbow and eat it, unhinging her green jaw like a snake and smiling very, very wide. She would smell like lemon verbena.

3. Superman

Clark’s an enormous doofus. I need you to understand this about Superman. 99% of his Facebook posts would be “LOL!!!” on anything Minion-related, and Jimmy Olsen would cry out with despair when he saw how many cat memes a man with superhuman speed can post to his wall. Clark’s primary political belief would be “the thank-you wave you give people when they let you switch lanes in traffic,” and his favorite movie would be "Eat Pray Love." He would be able to make exactly one meal: sloppy joes. Lois would hate sloppy joes, she’d hate them so bad, but she’d indulge him because he’d look like a proud golden retriever when he’d make them for her.

4. Penance

That one friend you had in high school who was like “Nah bro I can toooootally pierce my own nipples,” and who had WELCOME TO MY TWISTED MIND on his MySpace profile back in the day – that’s Robbie Baldwin, all the time. You’d go over to his house to watch the season premiere of Hannibal or something, and he’d make these super-creepy comments, like “I understand why Hannibal eats people. He’s trying to fill a deep, sexy void within himself.” You would become very aware of your proximity to him and his heavily pierced body parts, and you’d scoot away very subtly. He’d offer you a room-temperature Monster Energy Drink, and when you declined it, he’d take your refusal as a deep personal sleight. He would blog about it later so hard, his piercings would jangle.

5. Rogue

Rogue would have an Etsy shop where she’d sell horrible things in mason jars. Things she found on the side of the road, pieces of people left over from giant mutant battles, flowers she picked from behind the Piggly Wiggly – just nonstop mason jars over there. She wouldn’t be able to find anybody to talk to about the last two seasons of True Blood, because even Gambit would have fallen off after that weird faerie stuff in season three, so she’d send him very long texts about it, telling him that he reminds her of Bill Compton. She would abuse the heart-eyes emoji. Gambit would hate the heart-eyes emoji almost as much as he would hate getting compared to Bill Compton.

6. Miles Morales

In a large group of kids who are all having a conversation, Miles would be that kid who makes eye contact with the kid who got interrupted by another conversation breaking out, nodding and making sure they knew that somebody was still paying attention. He’d also make way too many DEEZ NUTS jokes, but you’d forgive him because that kid would have a face like sunshine, and because DEEZ NUTS jokes are timeless.

Keep up with all of these heroes' current adventures — across a myriad of canons — at Midtown Comics!

The post 6 Superheroes in Real Life appeared first on Everybody Loves Coupons.

1. Doctor Doom vs Reed Richards

Doctor Doom is essentially just a formerly-poor, non-white (his mother was Romani), disfigured version of Reed Richards whose only company is a bunch of robot versions of himself and a mother whose soul is in hell (that he gets to see once a year when he fights a demon for its freedom). I'm just saying, this is a dude that, even if he's leader of his own country, could use a win. He needs that "right on, beat my nemesis" fist-bump (with himself) before he also goes to hell.

2. Jean Grey's death vs Jean Grey

At this point, Jean Grey has died so many times that her death has basically gained sentience and become a Venom-like figure in the Marvel universe. And it's not that it should win — not in the repeated sense that it's had going on since it first became a storyline — but maybe in some sort of permanent sense, just so Jean Grey(s) can relax and stop constantly watching and waiting for it to show up again.

3. Hellboy's cats vs Hellboy (movieverse)

In the first "Hellboy" movie, Hellboy is shown with like almost literally 400 cats in his room. Those cats are probably angrier than he is about the fact that they can't go outside, because, unlike the singular Hellboy, there are ~400. There's a very good chance that they're going to gang up on him and beat him up until he gives them some space, because cats don't like moping in bed and eating candy bars nearly as much as you would think.

4. Galactus vs Silver Surfer

All Galactus wants to do is eat planets like meatballs and bro-around the universe in a stupid hat, but the Silver Surfer doesn't think that should be allowed to happen, that Galactus should stay away from the good tasty meatballs and instead eat the old and moldy ones instead. I mean, yes, there is a huge casualty list with the meatball party, and that's not very good at all, but all living things can and should be allowed to eat, especially if they're gigantic meatballs.

5. Magneto vs Professor X and the X-Men

Magneto really, seriously needs a win. Not only did he survive the Holocaust, but then there's been the countless mutant genocides, the loss of his closest friend, so many terrible things that giving this guy a proper victory is like giving a 5 year old a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party. And yeah, he's the worst dad ever (he's definitely in the top 10 in the entire Marvel universe), but even bad dads need nice stuff sometimes. He's still a jerkhole, though.

6. Bizarro vs Superman

First off, he's just the cuter of the two. It's like a weirdo teddy bear vs a Real Bear with Real Morals, and real morals can get tired really fast, and teddy bears never do. Whereas a dude who looks like he's made of rock and would try (and fail, because he can't control his strength) to make paper snowflakes during an LA summer like it was the most normal thing in the world is actually a really nice change.

7. A normal human ego vs Dr. Strange

Seriously, have you listened to the guy? He's the most pompous, in-love-with-himself-for-being-alive jerk imaginable, and being the "Sorcerer Supreme" (which could actually just be a name he gave himself one day while bored, who knows) just feeds into that. If a normal human ego could step in and show this guy what reality and proper human interactions are, the entire Marvel universe would benefit. He's the guy you just want to yell "Stop spooky-ghosting away, we know you have legs and that mist really burns our eyes" at him every time you see him.

8. M.O.D.O.K. vs The entire Marvel Universe

Have you seen the guy? He looks like the lovechild of Donald Pleasence's head and Alice Cooper's make-up drawer. Why shouldn't he be king of everything? He's a head with some floppy arms and legs and he whines like a baby. It'd be like living in 6 versions of the Joker's world mixed together, but all wrapped in tape with "science!!!" written on it.

9. Phoney Bone vs Fone Bone

Phoney is/was/will again be the richest Bone in Boneville, and what's Fone? Just some dude who helps people do stuff and has a moral compass? If I've learned anything from working retail, it's that Phoney is the one here that really deserves to win.

10. H.I.V.E. vs the Teen Titans (Teen Titans Go-verse)

Have you seen Cyborg's heart-eyes? Have you seen Robin's angry face? Every character has such an amazingly ridiculous reaction face to H.I.V.E., let alone their win, that seeing a serious, proper victory would be like seeing the comic book version of a unicorn riding a narwhal on a rainbow made of angels' tears.

Need to catch up on what your favorite supervillains are up to? Head over to Midtown Comics to get the latest issues of all your favorite books!

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1. No Membership? No problem!

There are ways around that. You can tag along with a friend who’s a member, or flash a Costco Cash Card, a prepaid card that can be reloaded for any amount between $25-$1,000 (you’ll need a member to buy one for you, but anyone can spend it in-store or online). Cash cards can be used for discounted gas at Costco stations, too.

2. Get the Costco Check-Up

Stores are not allowed to deny health services to anyone, so even non-members can use the pharmacy; which, by the way, has the least expensive prescription medications on the market.
Costco pharmacies also offer flu shots and free health screenings, and you don’t need to be a member to participate. Free healthcare clinics with screenings are available at select times and dates at pharmacy locations in each store. Check the Costco pharmacy website for the schedule.

In addition, any location with a hearing aid center will schedule a free, no-obligation hearing test by appointment. Boy, between that and the free samples, you could have a fun day at Costco.

3. Just Tell Them You're Here to See Your Friends Jack and Jose

Due to old speakeasy laws preventing alcohol “clubs” that are still on the books, in Arizona, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Indiana, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Texas and Vermont, you can even buy alcohol without a membership. Just tell the doorperson that’s all you’re there for, and you shouldn’t have a problem getting in.
You’ll need manager approval to checkout without a membership and you’ll have to pay with cash or American Express, but you get member pricing, so you can save big bucks this way when stocking up for your next party.

4. Shop Online

Can’t deal with another near fender-bender in that crazy parking lot? Shop online at Costco’s website Non-members are able to purchase select items online at great savings compared to other retailers.
For example, get 1.5 oz. of StriVectin Eye Concentrate for Wrinkles, for only $59.99 (with an extra $10 off for a limited time), while a smaller 1.0 oz. size retails for $65 elsewhere. Or get Gloria Vanderbilt ladies’ stretch denim jeans starting as low as $9.97, with free shipping.

Even non-members can purchase an e-certificate for a 2-year membership to 24 Hour Fitness for $370; when you do the math, that works out to only about $15 per month. Plus, knowing that you’ve prepaid all that money in advance should be an incentive to get you to that workout.

5. Score Gift Cards for Less

You know what else you can find at Costco? Discounted gift cards (to use on yourself, of course) and movie tickets. Non-members can’t purchase these in the store (without a cash card) but they are available online with no membership necessary.
Score a $100 iTunes multi-pack for only $94.49, and with an extra $10 off during special limited-time promotions. Get two $50 gift cards to Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse for only $80, and make it a fun family night out with a 4-pack of AMC Gold print-at-home movie e-tickets, available for $34.

6. Sharing is Caring (for Your Wallet)

Do you really need 12,000 napkins? Unless you’re constantly spilling on yourself, I’m thinking no. Instead, divvy it up with your shopping buddy and have her chip in. That way, you’ll only be paying for what you need.

7. Be Prepared to Hunt

You know how they say that the healthier food in the grocery store is around the edges and not in the middle? It’s the opposite for Costco. The best deals can be found in the middle of the store, not on those flashy endcaps.
There are two things I always buy at Costco:  microwave popcorn - their Kirkland’s brand comes in a box of 44 for only $10, and it tastes better than the name brands, IMO - and eggs. Especially since that free-range chicken law drove the price sky-high, Costco’s price of $2.99 for a carton of 18 is a bargain rarely found elsewhere.

8. Enjoy a Free Lunch

Get a free lunch—thanks to glorious, delicious taste samples. And save money because you won’t be shopping on an empty stomach.

9. Leave Coupon Cutting to the Extremists

No need to clip all of those coupons. As of 2014, Costco automatically applies their weekly coupons to your items at the checkout line. Score

10. Stick to Your List!

This is perhaps the most important piece of advice. I know those Jelly Belly-scented pillows are tempting (and yes, I saw these on a recent Costco trip), but you’ll save a lot more money if you just pick up what you need. And yes, you need those mini quiches.

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1. Secrete some acid when you feel down

Great balls of fire might be useful since you can just sling a couple of bombs and be done with your enemy in a flash. But acid is more vicious and, at least in the case of Man-Thing, kind of alarming. Ol’ Thing secretes sulfuric acid from his body anytime he feels any sort of negative emotion, whether it’s anger or confusion or fear. Then when the guy is happy again, he emits some sort of mucus-like substance that essentially neutralizes the acid. Um, awesome?

2. Breakdance any time of day

If this is a superpower, then nearly every kid born in the late ‘70s is apparently a superhero. Justice League member Vibe is the leader of this pack, boasting the inarguable ability to bust a move.

3. Change the color of objects

Theoretically, this could be useful - maybe in some sort of camouflaged combat situation. But in life, when all you’re doing is sitting in traffic and slaving away in your cubicle, it does nothing. Unless you’re changing the color of your traffic light from red to green.

4. Eat everything in sight

Once upon a time there was a lame superhero who could eat his way through anything. His name was Matter-Eater Lad. The dubious distinction of being able to consume matter of all kinds may seem sort of ridiculous, but I suppose it’ll be useful when you’re stuck in a cell and needs to gnaw your way out like some sort of wild animal.

5. Remove limb, use as weapon

Ah, wouldn’t it be great to conveniently detach an arm or leg at will just so you could club the moron next to you? Turns out there was a superhero who could do this - the incontestably named Arm Fall Off Boy. You don’t really hear about AFOB, mostly because he’s a lame excuse for a “hero.”

6. Look back in time and wish you had done things differently

Hindsight is 20/20 and all that. But is there really any need to rub it in our faces? The beauty of Hindsight Lad is that he was kind of a jerk, routinely lamenting that life would be a whole lot better if things had been done his way. We all have that person in our lives, don’t we?

7. Be as perverted as you like

About a million guys would qualify as superheroes if this were an actual thing. Bueno Excellente is the deceptively silent guy who is also, well … a total perv. His key words are “excellente” and “bueno,” followed by a depraved laugh. All in good fun, I guess?

8. Use a foreign language as a threat

I suppose there is something kind of offensive about words being viciously hissed your way in a foreign language. It’s definitely not pleasant, is it? Take venomous Jean de Baton, the superhero who wields around a loaf of French bread like it’s a firearm and speaks a lot of French. Take that, criminals.

9. Weld deceased animals

Animal lovers, where you at? I’m surprised superhero Dogwelder isn’t more reviled for his morbid behavior, which involves setting up traps for strays and unleashing dead animals onto the faces of evil people. Fighting bad? Good. Doing it with dead animals? Sooo bad.

10. Yell, a lot

So I guess we’re actually all superheroes if this is considered a superpower. World War II super-solder Jerry Carstairs had the not-so-unique ability to yell really loudly - loud enough to kill. If raising your voice is a superpower, I hereby promote several people I know to superpower status.

The post The 10 Lamest Super Powers appeared first on Everybody Loves Coupons.

 1.

The Super Bowl isn't quite on the horizon yet, but that doesn't mean you can't gear up for the big game way in advance, right? Hit Best Buy to score great deals on electronics and appliances. If the stifling summer heat is getting to you, chill out with 20% off a regular priced small appliance. Just enter code SAVE20SUMMER (expires 7/12/15) at checkout.

2.

You work those long, tedious hours in the hopes of enjoying some fun at some point down the road. That time is now, thanks to Travelzoo. The wanderlust's paradise is offering several fantastic deals that are valid for a variety of dates through the end of the year. Feeling tropical? Head to Cancun for a little fun in the sun. Or take in the gorgeous views of Seattle on the weekend of the fourth. The options are endless – but these deals will not last for long!

3.

History has proven that 6pm.com knows how to celebrate July 4th in style! In previous years, the fashion mecca has held their famous $17.76 sale, when thousands of products, from apparel to shoes, are marked down to $17.76.

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From patio furniture to appliances, Sears almost always has a great sale on its merchandise. Look especially at their Kenmore brand, which is often generously marked down.

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Now is the time to make Christmas in July a thing, especially if you're the type who procrastinates during the actual holiday season. Purchase all of your beauty loot at Bath & Body Works during their July 4th sale, which is typically when some of their best deals are up for grabs. From lotion to body spray to hand soap, there's something here for every beauty junkie on your list.

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Possibly the best place to stock up on fashion basics and trendy pieces alike is Old Navy, especially during the July 4^th holiday. The store is known for its mind-blowing sales, which usually feature some sort of amazing percentage off (think up to 50%!) or low, low prices on T-shirts and flip flops. There's no better place to nab those summer staples on the cheap.

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Where else can you buy garden hoses, paper towels, paint and siding all at once? Home Depot is a paradise of sorts (if you're in a home improvement sort of mood, that is), and their July 4^th sales never disappoint. From specials on kitchen appliances to gardening tools, there's plenty to nab on sale this summer.

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Every year, Walmart rolls back prices even more on select items for its July 4^th sale. In 2014, shoppers found it all on sale – televisions, grills, patio furniture and so much more. Expect impressive deals on furnishings, entertainment, appliances and home goods.

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No one does a sale quite like Kohl's. The retailer goes full-on patriotic when America's special day comes around – and they do it in style. Look for deals on everything from baby clothes and kitchenware to shoes and handbags. The store is known to host a percentage-off special during this holiday, too, so be prepared to save big.

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Whether it's a percentage off your purchase or a major price slash on furniture or mattresses, Macy's tends to come through in a big way on July 4^th. Eyeing a cute dress, a plush couch or a new coffee machine? Wait until the holiday and nab it at a discounted price.

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1. Hamburgers

Ah, nothing says Independence Day like a big chunk of juicy meat simmering on the grill. But believe it or not, hamburgers (or hamburg steaks) actually hailed from Germany somewhere around the 19th century. Inspired by Hamburg, Germany (surprise, surprise), the meat was seasoned with salt, onions and a few other spices, but otherwise left relatively plain. No bread or bun to speak of. It wasn’t until they traveled over to the good ol’ U.S. of A that you started getting fully loaded cheeseburgers with an array of condiments and toppings sandwiched between two slices of bread. That’s the hamburger, Americanized.

2. Hot Dogs

Fourth of July picnics aren’t complete without a foot-long hotdog, right? But as it turns out, hotdogs aren’t American at all. Once again, this staple “American” food item hails from Germany—Frankfurt, to be exact. Not too many people question its origin, especially after the city of Frankfurt celebrated the 500th birthday of the hot dog in 1987. But the people of Vienna (Wein), Austria, beg to differ, pointing to the term “wiener” to prove they were the masterminds behind the eat-at-your-own-risk delicacy.

3. Apple Pie

It’s as American as apple pie, they say. But that’s not saying much given that the sweet, syrupy dessert is far from American.  The apple pie first appeared in historical documents dating back to 1589, referenced by British poet Robert Greene in his poem, “Menaphon.” Needless to say, it didn’t originate here. In fact, it wasn’t brought over to the States until the early 1600s and was originally filled with unsweetened apples—far from the sugary delight we know today.

4. Fried Chicken

Artery-clogging fried chicken is historically a Southern American comfort food . . . right? Wrong. The Scottish actually first introduced the extra crispy, crunchy textured treat.

5. Potato Salad

The Germans are at it again, serving up this delectable side dish. While they are credited with originally making the concoction with olive oil and vinegar, Spanish explorers were the first to introduce the potato to European countries after discovering it in South America. So I suppose we can say they both had a hand in this one. Regardless, it wasn’t until the dish was introduced to America that we started adding mayonnaise. Because we’re healthy like that.

6. Budweiser Beer

Many would argue that fireworks and barbecues aren’t complete without an ice-cold beer. After all, more beer is consumed on Independence Day than any other national holiday. And while it’s not a food, Budweiser beer deserves a spot on the list. Sure, the beer was first brewed in St. Louis, but its creators were German immigrants who brought their style of brewing over to U.S. What we know as a “lager” actually comes from the word “lagern,” a German style of brewing. Go ahead. Throw back that cold one in the name of independence. We won’t tell.

7. French Fries

Before you jump to conclusions, the French fry is actually not so French at all (or so some say). While it’s birthed from a giant vat of bubbling fat, the first people to consider tossing in the potato were the Belgians. Rumor has it that since frying fish was common practice, they decided to toss in some potato wedges when the rivers froze up and fishing became more difficult. The greasy finger food has been served up since the late 17th century, and to this day, Belgians consume more French fries per capita than any other country in Europe.

8. Watermelon

On a hot summer day, nothing refreshes quite like a wedge of watery watermelon that drips down your chin. The messy but delicious snack is actually thought to originate from southern Africa—more specifically, the Kalahari Desert. Today, China is the largest watermelon producer, but Americans still enjoys it’s sweet, fleshy center, especially during Fourth of July picnics. Pair it up with a glass of lemonade and you have yourself the perfect “All-American” summer treat. Or do as the early explorers did, and use a watermelon as a canteen!

9. Coleslaw

The chilled, wet salad of shredded raw cabbage that often comes on the side with our burger and fries was actually introduced by the Dutch. When they came in droves to New York during the 17th and 18th centuries, they brought their “koolsala” with them.

10. Strawberry Shortcake

The perfect ending to a perfect July 4th holiday. The sweetened biscuit or sponge cake we all know and love is doused in whipped cream and strawberries and, during the Independence Day weekend, blueberries in order to give the famed dessert a traditional red, white and blue look. And while strawberry shortcake parties were held in the 1850s to celebrate the onset of summer, the dessert didn’t (technically) originate in the U.S. The first recipe for the now-famous dessert was discovered in an English cookbook back in 1588.

American or not, you can stock up on all of these items at Safeway!

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