omnia gyro

Darth White

2012-02-17T14:29:00.004-05:00

Darth White. Have I mentioned how much I love this child?

Homeschooling Public Schoolers

2012-02-15T07:52:00.000-05:00

Two of our three children are in public school, and the youngest is homeschooling for preschool. We agonized about the education decision; public vs private, homeschool vs traditional schooling. The main reason why we elected to send our kids to public school is (a) cost and (b) the fact that I'm going back to school for my degree so that I can carry benefits once George retires. If I planned on staying home, or returning to work part-time only, I'd be homeschooling. Simple as that.

This year, both boys have fantastic teachers; Ethan's Kinder teacher is smart, kind, and loves her kids. That's something that can't be faked. (George's Kinder teacher was... well, let's just say we requested that E NOT have the same teacher. It was bad; very, very bad.) George's second-grade teacher this year is excellent, and both teachers communicate exceptionally well.

Here's the thing; I still consider myself a homeschooler. Yes, I send my children to public school, but ultimately, I'm the one responsible for their education. I review the work sent home, maintain an open line of communication with the professional educators, see if there are projects we can do where the kids need reinforcement in certain areas, or 'rewards' in others. For example; George loves creative writing. In fact, when he's working on a 'non-fiction' writing project at school, he has a tough time not embellishing or adding anecdotal information. So, when he is successful with his non-fiction writing, I reward him with a creative writing project. A few months ago, when he told me he was 'bored' at school, I had him choose a subject to for a lapbook report. He chose black holes (not much information on this subject at the 2nd-grade level, but we managed) and did an excellent lapbook report; one that got a note from his principal saying how impressed she was. (I did a video showing the different parts; maybe one day I'll actually get around to posting it.)

Ethan seems to have some issues with differentiating between b and d and p, g and q. He also prefers to guess at words instead of sounding them out. So, I made a flip book of sight words, which he goes through at least 4-5 times a week. We also use Funny Words (from Confessions of a Homeschooler's K4 Curriculum), where he flips the C-V-C letters, sounds them out and writes down whatever words he makes up. His Kinder teacher gave us a new game called Valentine's Monster Mash, which is a similar concept but requires him to sound out all of the letters in the nonsense C-V-C 'words' in order to keep the card. It's great practice for him.

It comes down to choice; how involved are you in your child's education? There are parents who choose traditional schooling who are very involved, review homework, plan their own educational field trips, talk to their child's teacher regularly to make sure both are on the same page. There are homeschoolers who rely completely on a software program and their child's autonomy for his or her education. And there are the rest of us, who fall somewhere in between in terms of involvement and impetus. I think I'll always consider myself a homeschooler, regardless of where my child officially attends school. Because I alone am responsible for educating my children; the public schools and all they offer are merely tools to that end.

REPOST: Boycotting Valentine's Day

2012-02-13T20:53:00.000-05:00

Here's my post from Valentine's Day last year. We had an interesting discussion on Ravelry about both the pros and cons of V-Day; some couples celebrate it come hell or high water, some focus on the religious traditions of the feast day, some use it as an opportunity to be goofy with each other. (Considering that one year, I hot-glued a match to a handmade card that said 'You still start my fire' with a heart drawn around it, I think George & I fall into this latter category.)

But when you get past the goofiness, at its core... I hate Valentine's Day. More than just solidarity with my single girlfriends (and my married girlfriends with unromantic husbands), it's about as far away from true romance as you could possibly get.

Boycotting Valentine's Day
I hate Valentine's Day. HATE IT. To me, it's the most offensive holiday ever invented. Men are bombarded by advertisements for everything from jewelry stores to flower delivery to stuffed animals and crappy pajamas, all in an effort to say "You aren't capable enough to be romantic on your own, so we're going to stick a date on the calendar in order to force you into it."

Valentine's Day is the equivalent of telling your husband or boyfriend, 'You know, it would be nice if you brought me flowers' and having him come home from work with them that very day. That's not romance; that's coercion.

Valentine's Day is about guys making Grand Gestures and overspending for things that we really don't need. Teddy bears? Heart-shaped filigree pendants? Ugly pajamas?

And the worst part is that women buy into it! We have expectations for receiving presents from our significant others just because American Greetings and Hallmark like to pepper the airwaves with vignettes suggesting that men can't possibly think of their wives and girlfriends on their own.

Now I'm not suggesting that people who celebrate Valentine's Day are automatically unromantic. I'm simply stating that romance is about more than picking one arbitrary day and placing importance on something that should be part of your relationship year round.

You know what's romantic? My husband makes sure that I have money in my wallet, gas in the tank of the van, and windshield wiper fluid. He scrapes the snow off my van and asks if I need anything from the outside refrigerator. He shovels the sidewalk and puts down salt to make sure that I don't fall. He brings me a beer and builds a fire so that we can sit and talk about our day while I knit. He tells me my hair is pretty (when it isn't) and that he likes my face when I'm not wearing a stitch of makeup. He offers constructive criticism on my meals and calls to thank me for packing his breakfast and lunch every day.

That, my friends, is romance. It cannot be shouted from the radio or played out in a sappy television commercial. Real romance is the bond that makes you want to do for your spouse, to give to them, to make their needs and wants important to you. Romance is in the small details of daily life, not just in the grand gestures of holidays.

Growth

2012-02-13T09:13:00.004-05:00

I learned something today, courtesy my 8 year old son.

We've had the same morning routine since late August. Each child has his/her own laminated routine, with pictures (for the non-readers). They're expected to do the same thing every school day. For over 100 days now; dress, brush teeth, oatmeal bowls into the dishwasher, backpacks/jackets by the back door.

I tend to be a stickler for routine, since it helps me to maintain our home. Routine is comfort in knowing what comes next. And since change is difficult for me (we're talking quantum physics difficult), I struggle with the flexibility required when there are interruptions in that routine.

Today, while waiting to drop George off, I asked the boys if they'd remembered their tennis shoes. (Six inches of snow on the ground here in NE Ohio over the weekend.) Both boys gasped; "Aw, Mom, we forgot our shoes!" Ethan got angry (his typical response) because today is gym day and if he doesn't have tennis shoes, he can't participate.

George, however, started to cry.

My sweet, caring, control freak of an 8-year-old (he comes by it honestly, as you can imagine) was terribly upset. He asked if we could go back home to get them; I told him no, that if we did that, both boys would be late for school. This set off a fresh wave of tears, and we had to sit for several minutes for him to settle down enough to get out of the van.

Something went off in my brain. A synapse fired that told me Something Isn't Right. I didn't know exactly what, but I made a split-second decision.

I turned around and went home.

After grabbing the boys' shoes and dropping Ethan off (last car, but in time nonetheless!), I swung by George's school and had the secretary call him to come get his shoes.

My child walked into the office, red-eyed and in his stockinged feet, with a smile that hasn't been seen since he opened his newest LEGO set on his birthday. I realized immediately why he'd been so upset; he would have spent the entire day walking around in his socks. Which, to an eight-year-old who doesn't like to stand out from his peers (really, what child does at this age?), would have been tantamount to being clad only in his underwear.

I can't tell you why I chose to listen to that little voice. Not the one saying, "This is going to upset your entire morning," but the one that said "This is going to hurt him." I am a firm believer in choices and consequences and letting my kids suffer a little when they make the wrong choice. But sometimes, though we don't deserve it, we receive compassion. And sometimes it's more important to model compassion than it is to model correctness.

Instead of holding fast to the routine, I decided to hold fast to my child. I'm glad I did, because I think it taught us both a very important lesson.

Thoughts on Penn State

2012-01-31T14:08:00.000-05:00

Joe Paterno passed away last week, and it caused the sexual abuse allegations against Jerry Sandusky to resurface. And it caused me to think about how this situation is not just an indictment of how men put the needs of an institution above the rights of a child; it's about something much more insidious in our society.

Fatherless boys.

Jerry Sandusky, who is alleged to have sexually abused several young boys over the years (I believe the current count is ten), started the charity in 1977 as:

"...a statewide non-profit organization for children who need additional support and who would benefit from positive human contact. The Second Mile plans, organizes, and offers activities and programs for children - and adults who work with them - to promote self-confidence as well as physical, academic, and personal success."

from http://www.thesecondmile.org/aboutUs.php

Basically, underprivileged, potentially at-risk children, largely from dysfunctional homes without one (or both) parents. Through The Second Mile, Sandusky had access to hundreds of vulnerable boys. The details enumerated in the grand jury report against Jerry Sandusky reads like a pedophile handbook; find a vulnerable boy, groom him, buy him gifts, take him places, make him feel obligated... then take advantage of him.

All the while, the boy's mother thinks it's wonderful that her son has a strong male figure in his life; successful, trusted, well-respected in the community. In short, someone her son can look up to.

But in this day and age, when divorce is more prevalent than not, and mothers are the ones often left shouldering the burden of raising their children alone, how do we insulate ourselves from the potential of this type of tragedy?

Author Gavin de Becker in his book "Protecting The Gift", discusses how human predators select their targets and how parents can protect their children. A boy with a single working mother, absent father, disadvantaged, is a prime target for these types of predators.

If nothing else, this terrible situation should serve to remind us to care for the least among us. Be observant and speak up if we see an adult exhibiting inappropriate behaviors toward a child. Reach out to the fatherless boys in our communities and build them up in a healthy manner so that they are less likely to become fodder for predators.

Review of Wen by Chaz Dean

2012-01-27T17:49:00.000-05:00

One day while slogging away on the treadmill, the infomercial for Wen by Chaz Dean came on. And since one of the children had run off with the remote, I watched it.

For those who aren't aware, Wen is a haircare line by celebrity hairstylist Chaz Dean. The product claims that it's different than other shampoos because it doesn't contain sodium laurel sulfate or other lathering agents, which strip the oils from hair and cause it to dry out.

I have naturally curly auburn hair that is both very dry and very fine. I wash my hair once a week and rinse it every few days ago specifically because it's so dry, and washing it often makes it worse. So my ears perked up when I saw how the product worked.

I Googled the product to mixed reviews; some reviewers claimed that product worked for them, others said it didn't. Some complained about the sales tactics (they push the auto-ship program, and some customers have claimed that they have not received reimbursements despite the money-back guarantee. Google "wen chaz dean complaints" and come to your own conclusion).

I decided to bypass the Guthy-Renker reorder issue and purchase from a seller on Amazon.com. When I searched the Wen page, I could not locate this version; I'm not sure why they only seem to have the Sweet Almond available for purchase in 90-day supply. I didn't want the entire line; I only wanted to try the conditioning cleanser. So this review is really only for the cleanser; I can't speak to the rest of the styling products in the line.

I wanted the Lavender Mint cleanser, so that's what I purchased from Amazon.

The mint fragrance is definitely stronger than the lavender, but I'm OK with it. It isn't overpowering.

I rinsed my hair as I normally would -- one to two minutes is what is recommended on the web site -- and then applied the product to my hair. FIRST MISTAKE: I didn't comb out my hair like I normally do before washing. It took longer as a result. But, I ended up leaving the product in for closer to ten minutes.

The product has the consistency of a good conditioning treatment; not as light as a leave-in, but not as heavy as a hair masque.

After combing through, I rinsed well and dried with a towel. Normally after rinsing my hair (but before towel-drying), I add a nickel-sized amount of argan oil to my hair, but I wanted to see how the Wen would work without extra product. I was surprised to see that my hair looked smooth, as if I had added the oil. That was a big plus in my book.

I wanted to dry my hair as normal (head down, with a diffuser) but I noticed when I started drying that there were was some frizz. So about halfway through, I stopped drying and added about a quarter-sized amount of the argan styling creme that I normally use. I finished drying, and was very surprised by the effect.

Usually I use argan oil, styling creme, frizz-taming gel and hairspray to achieve volume right after I've washed my hair. But I actually have a fairly decent amount of volume without anything but the conditioning cleanser and the styling creme.

VERDICT:
I'm impressed. I will probably add this to my normal hair routine to "confuse" my hair every once in a while, but due to the price of the product (I paid $38.95 for a 16 oz bottle; the three-month supply is right around $90) I don't think it will be something I use on a weekly basis. Of course, I can only speak to the efficacy of the cleansing conditioner, since I didn't try any of the other products in the line.

And now for the un-retouched before and after photos:

BEFORE

AFTER

Priorities

2011-10-03T09:59:00.000-05:00

There's nothing like a bloody seven-year-old to bring things into focus.

Saturday, George was working a ten-hour day of side jobs, so I decided to finish up my weekly cleaning, bake some bread and granola, and a nice big pot of chicken & dumplings from a new recipe I wanted to try (courtesy The Pioneer Woman).

I breakfasted the kids, cleaned the kitchen, put in laundry, cleaned the living room from ceiling to floor, changed laundry again, and made lunch for the kids (just a typical day, really). George asked if he could use a paper towel to make a cape for the Harry Potter LEGO character he found. I decided to do one better; I gave him some scraps of black cotton material and showed him how to draw the pattern and cut it out, then cut a hole in the top so it would fit over the neck.

"Wow, Mommy, that's really smart!"

There really is no higher compliment from a child who really believes he does know everything.

After cleaning up the lunch mess, I decided to give myself a break and sit down with my knitting for a half an hour. No sooner had I picked up my needles, when there was a scream from the basement. Now, if you are a parent, you know what I mean by 'scream'. Not a 'hey, you took the LEGO I was going to build with!' but a 'THIS IS SERIOUS' scream that makes your heart stop.

Georgie came tearing through the house, holding his hand, blood streaming, crying and screaming incoherently.

I made him calm down and show me his wound. It looked like the top left side of his middle finger was gone at an angle, but it was hard to tell with all the blood. I herded him to the kitchen sink, still trying to calm him down, trying to clean up the cut so I could gauge the severity. Stella and Ethan were in the kitchen, too; Stella crying and Ethan upset, but trying to keep from crying. After finally clearing away enough blood to see the actual wound, I sent Stella to the bathroom and Ethan to get shoes and jackets, then into the van. I called George, told him I was taking Georgie to the ER, and tried to explain what had happened to his finger. Upon hearing that we were going to hospital, Georgie started wailing again.

"George. GEORGE. Stop crying and listen to me." I tend to sound angry when I'm worried or afraid. "Am I freaking out? No? Did I call an ambulance? No? Then there is nothing to freak out about. You are only allowed to freak out if I freak out. Now slip these shoes on and go out to the van."

It's funny, ERs tend to see you quickly when you have blood streaming down your arm and dripping onto the floor. The hospital staff was excellent, each nurse, Child Life Specialist, doctor and records clerk listening patiently as George recounted (for the tenth time) how he was trying to cut out a cape for his LEGO guy and used the Really Sharp Scissors to cut a hole for the head and cut the skin off the side of his finger. After the bleeding finally slowed, they used a gelfoam covering for the area where the skin had been sheared away, bandaged him up and sent him home. It bled off and on all night, but finally stopped sometime Sunday.

I had been fine, in complete control, until George showed up at the hospital. While he talked to Georgie, I went out into the hall, had a little cry, then squared my shoulders and went back in. After we were discharged, I went to Chick-Fil-A to pick up dinner, and we headed home. After eating, I crashed on the couch with the kids and we watched a few movies, waiting for George to get home from work. I could not believe how absolutely drained I was.

What do you do when faced with an emergency with one of your children? I go into Total Control mode: Do this, get ready, go here, get it fixed. Who cares that you're wearing sweatpants and a bleach-stained hoodie and that you haven't brushed your hair today; your focus is to care for your child. And then fall apart later. Everything changes, and priorities are brought brutally into focus: care for this child's needs immediately. Dinner plans, cleaning, changing into 'outside' shoes; everything goes by the wayside as we focus on what Really Needs Done.

There's been a lot going on lately, both within our immediate family and with our extended family. My mother-in-law is ill, requiring round-the-clock care. As with anything, there are some disputes with regard to how best to proceed. I see this and think, What really matters? Caring for mom. Not egos, not opinions, not 'well this is what I would want if it were me.'

Priorities.

Focus.

This extends into so many other areas of life; what matters most with our home? Should we expand it, or make the existing size suffice? Should we sell and move somewhere else? Friends who have been downsized in this economy have said that losing their job really brings life into sharper focus. Needs vs. wants become jarringly clear, and it's much easier to make decisions based on necessity.

Priorities.

Focus.

This situation was a reminder for me that, ultimately, the safety and well-being of my kids is my paramount concern. They're so small, and still dependent upon us for unconditional love and protection. I want to make sure that those needs are always met to the best of my ability, that I never get lost in the minutiae of The Little Things and lose that focus.

Crock Pot Epiffy-what

2011-09-13T16:06:00.000-05:00

I'm kind of obsessed with my crock pot. I hoard slow-cooker recipes and collect cookbooks dedicated to the subject. I'm always looking for ways to improve on the already simple method of slow-cooking.

The other day I was flipping through "Make It Fast, Cook It Slow" by Stephanie O'Dea. One of her recipes is Lazy Chicken, which calls for dumping some frozen boneless chicken and pasta sauce into the crock pot and cooking until done, shredding the chicken and serving over cooked pasta.

I've made gallons (no; seriously... GALLONS) of pesto over the past six weeks, and it's all cubed up and sitting in my freezer in Ziploc bags. Since I'm trying to 'eat what we have' this month and shop minimally, I had an epiphany (or, as Smee says in "Hook", 'an epiffy-what?').

Slow Cooker Chicken Pesto
4-6 chicken breasts or tenderloins, frozen
3/4 cup to 1 cup pesto, frozen
1/2 lb short pasta, cooked according to directions
1/2 cup pasta cooking water, reserved

Toss chicken and frozen pesto cubes into slow cooker and cook on HIGH for 4 hours or until done. Shred chicken and mix well with pesto.

Cook pasta according to directions, reserving about 1/2 cup of cooking water. Add by the tablespoon to the pesto/chicken mixture if it needs thinned.
Drain pasta. Serve with chicken pesto mixture. Garnish with Parmesan cheese or sliced cherry tomatoes.

You can add frozen vegetables to the cooking water about 4-5 minutes before the pasta finishes cooking (I usually serve broccoli with chicken pesto).

VERDICT: Good! The kids love pesto, and aren't turned off by green food, so this was a hit. My oldest didn't care for the consistency of shredded chicken -- he prefers to have it sliced -- but ate it just the same. Everyone else agreed it's a definite keeper!

First Day

2011-09-06T09:58:00.000-05:00

Today was our first day of preschool. Stella and I dropped the boys at their respective schools and came home. While she put on her necklaces, (an obvious prerequisite for educational ventures) I unloaded the dishwasher and poured myself a second cup of coffee.

We started at 9AM with the Pledge of Allegiance (which she kept calling "Pledge of the Cool Things"), did the date/calendar and weather, then started in on the workboxes. We were finished by 9:55AM. She wanted to keep 'playing school', which is a good thing -- she obviously enjoys it. I think the fact that she has 100% of my attention for that hour is almost more important to her than successfully matching up the clothespin letters to the letter wheel.

I still have trouble wrapping my brain around the idea that she's four today. It seems just yesterday I was taking pictures of her smooshy little face when she was barely 24 hours old. How big my little girl is already.

Taking the plunge

2011-08-10T06:54:00.000-05:00

Summer is winding down and I'm preparing for the boys to go to school; George will be in second grade and Ethan is starting Kindergarten.

A few weeks ago I started figuring out what my school schedule would be, and felt my blood pressure start to rise. Here's what a typical day would be for me:

5:30 AM -- Up, treadmill, shower, pack George's breakfast/lunch
7:00 AM -- Get kids up, breakfast, lunch packed
8:15 AM -- Drop George off at school
9:15 AM -- Drop Stella off at preschool
11:00AM -- Leave to pick Stella up from preschool. Ethan eats lunch in the van
11:15AM -- Pick Stella up from preschool
11:35AM -- Ethan's bus pickup. (I'll have to drive him when he misses it, which will be almost daily.)
2:10PM -- Leave to pick George up from school
3:30PM -- Get Ethan off the bus

This does not take into account me going to tutoring for my Math class, or doing errands, or cleaning, or any of my other daily work. Needless to say, I was starting to stress out considerably.

George, in a fit of logic, said: "Just don't send her to preschool."

What? Oh. That's right. That is an option, isn't it?

So I looked at the situation and asked myself, 'What is going to work out best for our family as a whole?' (In other words: What is going to keep me from stressing out, in return stressing out the rest of the people who live here?)

Me being me, I started thinking. And doing research. My thinking led me to realize that my best solution would be putting Ethan in morning Kindergarten. He's much more focused early in the day, which is very important. Plus it makes for a less-stressful day, which benefits everyone.

My research led me to realize that lots of moms homeschool their preschoolers. Some have a structured curriculum, some organized play, some keep it simple with books and playdough and trips to the nature center.

I found a simple curriculum online called K4 Curriculum, and I'm using a modified workbox system to help keep me organized. Not to mention less stressed.

Are you sensing a theme here?

Stella seemed a little bummed when I told her she wouldn't be going to school this year. When I asked her if she'd like to do school at home, she thought for a minute and asked, "Can I have a snack every day?"

Yes, little girl. Yes you can.

So I hope to post some pictures of her school area once I have it set up, and I intend to detail our homeschooling experiences.

By the way, I got an A in my Algebra class. Perfect example of how study and hard work pays off.

In which I come to terms with my shortcomings

2011-02-20T14:53:00.000-05:00

I have never been good at math. Struggled all the way through school and resigned myself to the idea that I would never do well in it. Failed Introduction to Algebra Part I. Twice. Never stepped foot into the Math Lab at school because I was too embarrassed to admit that I needed help with math. The only A I ever received was in Business Math, and to this day I think it was largely because the teacher liked me and saw that I put forth real effort. Despite that success, I never took a math past my junior year in high school.

The irony of this choice is that I have used math ever since. Regularly. In all of the jobs I've had -- marketing, retail, tech support -- I've used math. And I've actually used more math since I've become a stay-at-home-mom than I ever did before. Adding and subtracting fractions, maintaining a budget, reconciling checkbooks, figuring gains/losses on investments, cost per pound, figuring the payroll and taxes for a small non-profit business; you name it, I use it on a regular basis. Fundamentals like this are not bad, but when the subject turns to negative numbers, my brain turns to gelatin.

In my Composition, Psychology and Anatomy/Physiology courses, I was the Super Obnoxious Student; the one who reminded the teacher about our quizzes and kept track of just how 'big' of an A I was getting. I'm very proud that I worked hard and received the highest marks in both my Psych and A&P classes, and was in the top 5 of my English Comp class (RIP, Mr. Kassebaum). Words are easy for me; intuitive. It's like there's a small itch behind my eyeball that tells me when something isn't quite right on the page.

I don't have that same itch in math. Math gives me the distinct feeling of being set adrift on a small lake in a kayak without a paddle, where everyone else is standing on the shore watching me. Somehow they all seem to have located their paddles, whereas I'm the only one who just didn't get one. And I'm too embarrassed to ask for someone to lend me theirs.

I have to pass MATH 1200 (Intermediate Algebra) in order to complete my prerequisites for nursing school. When I took the assessment test, I placed in MATH 950 (Beginning Algebra I). Which means I have to study my arse off, score high enough, and beg the instructor to place me in 1200. I don't see him doing that unless I achieve an A.

I'm three weeks in, and the information thus far has been basic review (as the whiny d-bag who sat behind me on Saturday put it, 'how come we gotta review all this stuff that we already learned in the fifth grade?' with my response being, 'if you're so smart, how come you were placed in a remedial math?'), but already I sincerely doubt my ability to achieve an A.

In comparison to high school, this is substantially different. (I almost said 'quantitatively different' but I didn't want to be that nerd.) First, I am paying for this course out of my own pocket, which changes the amount of effort I am putting into it. Second, I did something that I never have done before:

I went to the math lab.

This is a bigger step for me than you might think. I have a serious, deep-seated, almost pathological problem with admitting when I cannot do or handle something. Going to the math lab at the college required that I humble myself, admit that I need help, and go talk to someone who is 15 years younger than me and get some direction on the basics of Algebra. Not an easy feat for me.

One of the greatest benefits of this little adventure was finding out that the tutor (Lou, who I can already tell I will like very much), did not start out as a math major. In fact, he wanted to become a nurse. He hated math, always did poorly in high school, and never had an intuitive understanding of numbers. So he understands where I'm coming from and can help me to grasp concepts that are difficult.

So, although I know that this will be a struggle for me, I'm meeting this challenge head-on. I will put forth more effort than anyone else in my class, and I guarantee that I will not fail.

Boycotting Valentine's Day

2011-02-08T20:28:00.001-05:00

I hate Valentine's Day. HATE IT. To me, it's the most offensive holiday ever invented. Men are bombarded by advertisements for everything from jewelry stores to flower delivery to stuffed animals and crappy pajamas, all in an effort to say "You aren't capable enough to be romantic on your own, so we're going to stick a date on the calendar in order to force you into it."

Valentine's Day is the equivalent of telling your husband or boyfriend, 'You know, it would be nice if you brought me flowers' and having him come home from work with them that very day. That's not romance; that's coercion.

Valentine's Day is about guys making Grand Gestures and overspending for things that we really don't need. Teddy bears? Heart-shaped filigree pendants? Ugly pajamas?

And the worst part is that women buy into it! We have expectations for receiving presents from our significant others just because American Greetings and Hallmark like to pepper the airwaves with vignettes suggesting that men can't possibly think of their wives and girlfriends on their own.

Now I'm not suggesting that people who celebrate Valentine's Day are automatically unromantic. I'm simply stating that romance is about more than picking one arbitrary day and placing importance on something that should be part of your relationship year round.

You know what's romantic? My husband makes sure that I have money in my wallet, gas in the tank of the van, and windshield wiper fluid. He scrapes the snow off my van and asks if I need anything from the outside refrigerator. He shovels the sidewalk and puts down salt to make sure that I don't fall. He brings me a beer and builds a fire so that we can sit and talk about our day while I knit. He tells me my hair is pretty (when it isn't) and that he likes my face when I'm not wearing a stitch of makeup. He offers constructive criticism on my meals and calls to thank me for packing his breakfast and lunch every day.

That, my friends, is romance. It cannot be shouted from the radio or played out in a sappy television commercial. Real romance is the bond that makes you want to do for your spouse, to give to them, to make their needs and wants important to you. Romance is in the small details of daily life, not just in the grand gestures of holidays.

Bruiser Knits

2011-01-23T12:56:00.000-05:00

Took the kids to see Tangled. Favorite part? One of the ruffians (aka 'Bruiser') knits socks.

The Horse Tie

2011-01-19T08:30:00.008-05:00

I've seen a lot of complaints online about this commercial for the 2011 Toyota Highlander.

The commercial depicts a boy who feels sorry for his classmate, whose dad is picking him up in a 1980s-era wood-sided Buick station wagon. The classmate hides so as not to be seen getting into such a heap of junk, and finally catapults himself through the window. The idea being, you shouldn't embarrass your kids, so you should drive a sporty new Toyota Highlander.

Unsurprisingly, I hate this commercial, too. Surprisingly, it's probably for a different reason than you'd expect.

Most of the kvetching I've heard has to do with materialism, disrespect, waste, etc. I'm of the 'if it's paid for and it runs, then I'm ahead of the guy with the perpetual car payment' class. Toyota is pandering to the touchy-feely 'we can't harm our kids' self-esteem' types. And frankly, if you're stupid enough to fall for it, then you deserve to be jacked on an overpriced mode of transportation.

But my irritation with this commercial is completely unrelated to the kind of car you drive. It is simply this: As a parent, you have the absolute, unequivocal right to embarrass your children.

When I was growing up, one of my dad's friends was a regular at The Mens' Store (aka Goodwill), and used to buy his ties there. He'd end up with a grocery bag full, and offer them to Dad. Some of them were really nice, but which one did Dad select?

The Horse Tie.

The Horse Tie was a wide, brown, polyester tie with horse heads painted on it. (Please, mom, if you have a picture of it, you have to send it to me. I swear, I will knit you a hat if you do.) This was the ugliest, most horrific tie known to man. I cannot effectively express the abject awfulness of The Horse Tie. The person who made this tie deserved to be tied to a racehorse and dragged through a sheep field, have his right pinky finger cut off and be subjected to a intensive fashion evaluation by Bravo TV. This tie was so terrible, unlike Dad's snow-white suit and (I kid you not) blue suede shoes, it was NEVER in style, so would never have an opportunity to return to being in style.

Most guys would wear it to a costume party, or give it as a gag gift or something. My dad? HE WORE IT TO OUR CHOIR CONCERTS. And parent/teacher conferences. And meetings. And dinner. Anywhere you could imagine your friends being, Dad would be putting on The Tie. My sisters and I would beg him, PLEAD with him, not to wear The Tie. I remember crying, being so mortified that he would be in the audience and somehow the cute guy in my 7th grade Math class would see him and somehow KNOW that he was MY dad, and I would forever lose any chance of him asking me to go with him. (Go where, I have no idea. But in 7th grade, 'going with' someone was all the rage.)

Invariably, he would relent, and change ties, and as I got older, I realized that he was simply torturing us. Purposefully torturing us by making us think that he would wear The Tie and we would spontaneously combust from embarrassment. Because deep down, just like everyone else, he didn't want to look like a dork. He just wanted us to believe that he was willing to look like a dork for the sheer purpose of our instant and total mortification. (This doesn't explain why he wore sweat pants and cowboy boots, but that's a whole other story.)

Now, of course, I see the future. I see pairing yoga pants and sweaters with appliques of kittens; wearing my hair in two pony tails with the smears of night cream on my face to drop them at school. (And I don't wear night cream. But I would put it on for the sake of upping the embarrassment factor.) I imagine broken jelly shoes and white athletic socks, fanny packs and sequined ball caps. While the other moms discuss hair stylists and Zumba and swim lessons, I talk about Neti pots and acidophilus and the mileage on my running shoes. Oh, the possibilities are endless!

We can't let Toyota talk us out of our inherent right to be lame parents! We must accept our love of spelling bees (me) and astronomy (George) and genealogy (my Uncle Ken). We must pull out a CD of The Greatest One-Hit Wonders of the Eighties, turn it up and reenact the video of Fischer-Z's "So Long" while the kids cower in the back seat, praying that no one can see in the tinted windows. And just maybe, my kids will look back on their childhood with a mom who is obsessed with knitting and a dad who tweaks beer brewing recipes for a hobby, and will learn to accept that lameness is an inherent part of our lives, no matter how hard we try to mask it.

I, for one, am embracing my inner lame-o Horse Tie parent.

Making sausage isn't that ugly. Politics is much worse, I think.

2010-03-21T08:53:00.004-05:00

It's been over eight years since George and I made Hungarian sausage with Mary Jo & Mike Fodor. It seemed time to try it again, so yesterday we made around 50 lbs.; a lot of work, but worth it.

In the 'old days,' Mary would buy 120 lbs. of pork butts and we'd show up at her house at 8AM, spend four hours cutting the bones out, trimming some of the fat, and double-grinding the meat. Then we'd pour all of the meat out onto the table, add the seasonings (including paprika, garlic, salt, pepper & caraway seed) and mix the meat. Then after cleaning and prepping the casings (that's pig and sheep intestines, for those unaware of what 'casings' are), we'd stuff all of the sausage into the casings, weigh and package and figure out how much our totals were. The detail-orientedness of the task means no drinking of alcohol, which makes for a decidedly somber experience.

Fortunately, the good people at The Sausage Shoppe (thanks, Norm!) agreed to double-grind the meat for us, which saved us so much time (and so much cleaning of Kitchen Aids). we were able to season and mix the meat, stuff it, weigh and total the amounts within five hours, which is a record.

I love that the sausage stuffer is an antique that our brother-in-law found in a shop somewhere... made by the Enterprise Manufacturing Company in Philadelphia, this stuffer is close to 100 years old. The times we've made sausage, we've always used this stuffer. I can't imagine ever making sausage with a $2500 stainless-steel motorized stuffer. We have to use the Enterprise stuffer, where the only piece on it that isn't cast-iron is the aluminum stuffing tube.

George preparing to work the stuffer while Mary Jo preps the casings.

It's a lot of work to make 50 lbs. of sausage, but it pales when I consider the company. We talked and laughed, took breaks to play with the kids, fried up a sample here and there, drank a few beers, and had a good time. I wonder if it was like this fifty or a hundred years ago when farming communities would get together to preserve large quantities of foods.

We have such a disconnect from our food today; most of what we buy comes from the grocery store, not a small specialty proprietor (like the Sausage Shoppe) or directly from a farmer or grower. When you spend hours preparing your very own sausage, don't you appreciate the flavor and texture more than you do the Hillshire Farms links that you can pick up in the refrigerated Meat section at Cub? Don't your own tomatoes from the garden taste sweeter than the 'vine ripened' ones on sale at the Giant Eagle?

George and I spent hours peeling and cutting pears in order to make pear butter and pear sauce. I swear it's the best thing on peanut butter sandwiches and the sauce is so good on ice cream... are my taste buds affected proportionately to the amount of work that I put into preparation?

I don't know. What I do know is that I'll enjoy this sausage every time we have it, and when next March rolls around, I'll probably call Mary Jo to see if we can set aside a day to do it all over again.

As long as we don't have to grind.

Etsy!

2010-02-09T08:58:00.004-05:00

I've started an Etsy shop. So far I've made a few diaper/wipe pouches, and plan to add knitting project bags. Please check out my store if you're interested!

http://www.etsy.com/shop/rasch

Support the Doctors Without Borders relief effort in Haiti

2010-01-14T12:27:00.001-05:00

The things her brothers teach her

2009-11-17T15:28:00.003-05:00

The Activity Box

2009-10-19T15:28:00.003-05:00

George and I have been kicking around the idea of homeschooling Georgie, and one of the big questions we have is, How do we keep the middlest and the littlest occupied while George does schoolwork?

I started doing research on crafts and projects for preschoolers during homeschooling, and found a lot of really great ideas. The most important aspect of these activities is that they must be self-directed. Optimally, they'll be self-checking. This way, Ethan doesn't require instruction beyond the initial explanation, and if he does it incorrectly, it's immediately apparent.

Now, we aren't certain that we're going to homeschool, but I need some activities for Ethan. He gets easily bored in the afternoons when Stella is napping and George is at school. He doesn't want to read or do worksheets or play with toys, and he nags me to watch television. So I'm hoping that this will give him some alternatives and will keep him interested.

After a visit to the craft store and re-purposing some of the craft materials that we already have on-hand, I spent the afternoon planning stuff for our Activity Box.

Here's a log of the activities, many of which I found from the Preschool Activities page at Redshift.

Scissor Skills: Scrap paper with straight, angled, and wavy lines, ending with a sticker. Ethan uses scissors to cut along the lines until he gets to the sticker. These are easy to copy or print from online templates, so they aren't difficult to replenish. Plus, they all fit into clear, gallon-size zip-top bags so the kids can see what they want to choose.

Bead Sorting: I took three empty votive candle tins and hot-glued four different colored pony beads inside, then hot-glued the tins to a piece of cardboard. I put a selection of pony beads into a plastic container and included a set of tweezers from my old PC toolkit. Ethan stays occupied for at least 15 minutes, using the tweezers to sort the beads into the correct tins.

Bead Patterning: I bought some plastic craft laces and strung pony beads on them in patterns, knotting both ends to secure them. Then, I cut several laces and knotted one end to use for replicating the patterns, and added a plastic container of beads.

Shape Matching: I cut shapes out of foam sheets and stuck strips of self-adhesive Velcro on the back of each shape and wrote the name of the shape on the front. Then I took an 8.5" x 11" piece of stiff felt and traced the shapes onto the sheet in permanent marker. Stella really loves working with the flannel boards, so this will be a simple, self-correcting activity for her; if she puts the wrong shape on the wrong outline, they won't match.

Transportation Flannel Board: I found a set of transportation-oriented flannel-board cutouts and packed them with a collapsible flannel lap board.

100-piece Puzzles: Great for motor skills and shape differentiation. Usually good for at least a half an hour of play.

Foam Sheets with Stickers: 8.5" x 5.5" half-sheets of foam and peel-off stickers in an assortment of sizes and shapes. Helps with fine motor skills.

Self-correcting Puzzles: I bought a puzzle with 24 pieces. Each set of two fits together; baseball goes with glove, toothbrush goes with toothpaste, etc. If the items don't match, the puzzle doesn't fit together.

Felt Letters and Numbers: An assortment of felt letters and numbers to be used with their flannel boards.

Flannel Board Sets: I absolutely adore the flannel board sets from The Teacher Express. We have several story sets, including Goldilocks and the Three Bears and Old MacDonald. I just ordered Stellaluna, The Little Red Hen and Red Riding Hood. The children love to do the stories on the boards.

Lacing Craft: I cut several sections out of a large fabric softener container, rounded off the edges, and had George drill holes in various spots. I put several lengths of yarn and plastic lace into the bag with the cutouts and let them practice lacing through all of the holes.

Flash Cards: I took index cards and numbered them 1-20 and put stickers on the cards. I included 20 pennies in the bag for use as counters; he counts out enough pennies to cover the stickers in order to figure out which number he's looking at.

I'm still on the lookout for more ideas, if you have one, feel free to leave it for me in the comments.

Summer is GONE...

2009-10-13T06:50:00.003-05:00

Summer's over.

George is in PM Kindergarten and bored. Kid has been reading since 4 1/2 and is not being challenged at all; we have to decide if we are going to homeschool him or supplement his current education.

Ethan is attending preschool two mornings per week at our Cooperative Preschool. Even though he just turned four, we elected to put him in the threes class, and he is doing fantastically. Kid is funny as ever... and has a temper... well, let's just say he comes by it honestly. Ahem.

Stella is two, and boy is she a little sponge; picks up on all of the good (and bad) behavior of her older brothers. She's a girl through and through, but loves to play baseball and kickball with her brothers. I love when she's wearing a tutu and little play heels and tries to ride a skateboard. WIN!

I'm running. I started running six weeks ago, and have dropped between 10-15 lbs. (I don't know exactly how much, since I wasn't really weighing myself. All I know is that I'm back in my size 8 jeans, and in my book, that's ALL that matters.) I'm training to run the Lakewood Reindeer Run 5k in December, which would be my first race ever. I've been doing well at running daily, with rest days here and there, but the concrete sidewalks are killing my knees. Fortunately I can use the treadmill when the weather gets really ugly, but I need to stick to asphalt tracks.

The garden did well this year, considering. I made about 4 gallons of pesto from our basil plants (frozen in ice cube trays, then popped into gallon-sized bags for use throughout the winter) which should take us through most of the winter. Since the chipmunks/squirrels got our pea plants, we didn't get much out of them. Our two bean plants supplied us with enough beans for dinners and snacks (the kids kept eating them before they even got into the house, so I'm sure we would have had more if they hadn't 'helped' to harvest them). We had a lot of tomatoes, but not really enough to preserve. I got a quart of sauce out of all the romas I cooked down in the crock pot. Meh.

The zucchini, however, was overwhelming. I have loaves of zucchini bread, 2 dozen muffins, 5 quarts of shredded zucchini, and several gallons of sausage soup w/ zucchini all in the freezer right now. This from one plant. Plus, the zucchini cross pollinated our spaghetti squash, and the spaghetti squash looks like... well, big orange zucchinis. Not spaghetti squash.

We had one hill for potatoes, and got about 30 lbs. of Kennebeck and Yukon Gold potatoes. We planted our onions a bit later than we should have, so there are only a few large, softball-sized onions; most are racquetball-to-tennis-ball-sized. We'll do more onions next year and NO zucchini. None. Our cucumbers produced well at first, but cucumber beetles took out all of the plants. We know what to do for next year, so hopefully it won't happen again. The peppers did well once we staked them, and I got enough reds and yellows to make in my various recipes. Considering that they run sometimes $3-$4 per pound at the grocery store, it was worth the investment of time and money.

We accidentally grew two pumpkins; my sister-in-law gave us a pie pumpkin last year, and it went into the compost pile. We saw the vine start this spring, and let it grow just to see what it was; we ended up with two good-sized pumpkins! They're sitting on the front porch, on a bale of straw, along with several of the spaghetti squash mutations.

We also ended up with 3 compost tomato plants from the Ugly Ripes I bought from the grocery store (Ugly Ripes were the only halfway flavorful tomatoes at the store over the winter). Since we grind all of our fruit/vegetable scraps and put them in the compost, a couple of plants ended up taking root. The tomatoes we got off of them were pretty good, especially in salads and on sandwiches.

George has almost finished the backyard fence; we only need to put the gate up next to the garage, and he wants to do a decorative corner on the side we're not enclosing. Next is the first floor molding and (I can't wait!) the kitchen & hall floor. He's promised me we'll have a finished play space in the basement before we work on any projects upstairs, which would be wonderful. We're thinking that we'll move the kids upstairs once the second floor is finished; plenty of room in the master for them and their toys, and Stella will have her own bedroom. They can share a bath (ha! We'll see how long that lasts) once it's completed.

"Completed" and "house" are two words I've learned to never use in the same sentence. Sigh.

First Harvest

2009-07-07T18:57:00.003-05:00

Since the chipmunks dispatched the sugar pea plant, we have been waiting for our first beans and zucchini. Today the kids got to help pick them. They ate the first beans immediately (thank God we garden organically) so there are a few missing.

And here are the boys, doing what they do best; helping screen compost.

Governor Palin is stepping down

2009-07-03T14:46:00.004-05:00

About 20 minutes ago, media outlets reported that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is resigning from office. Speculations run the gamut of personal problems, health issues, and a bid for the Presidency in 2012.

A few minutes after the initial announcement, this tweet came from the Ohio Secretary of State, Jennifer Brunner:

Maybe Pres. Obama is appointing her Ambassador to Russia, since it's in her backyard.
15 minutes ago from mobile web

Now, this is the kind of tweet that I expect to see from some of the Liberals that I follow on Twitter, or a MSM pundit, NOT from the Secretary of State of Ohio. This was my immediate response:

@JenniferBrunner I would have thought that the Secretary of State of Ohio might be able to rise above the snark. I guess not.
7 minutes ago from TwitterFox

Now, I'm not going into the whole "I can see Russia from my window" thing, as anyone with half a brain knows that this was a line from a Saturday Night Live sketch, and was never uttered by Gov. Palin.

Let me be the 23,567th person to admit that Gov. Palin's interview with Katie Couric, where she stumbles over the answer to a question about Alaska's proximity to Russia and how it relates to her foreign policy experience, is less than articulate. And I don't plan on rehashing the argument of President Obama's limited experience as a U.S. Senator, Vice President Biden's firm position as a cog in the 'old school' Washington wheel, etc. But those are logical arguments that tend to fall on deaf ears.

I don't expect everyone to like Sarah Palin. Some Conservatives I know voted for Obama just because they couldn't stand her. I understand when you don't like a particular person in the political arena, but I'm amazed by the personal attacks from so many on the Left. She is a pro-life, pro-Second Amendment, pro-drilling, fiscal and social Conservative, and because of this she's attacked as ignorant and stupid. Just before the election, I overheard a woman in a coffee shop telling another woman that "someone should revoke Palin's female card," and went on to say that she should be taking care of her baby instead of running around the country. Why was the same argument not used against Joe Biden, when he took office as a U.S. Senator when his wife and child had just been killed?

As if being a Conservative and a woman is mutually exclusive.

I'm the first to admit that I don't agree with her on a lot of issues (I think she's very myopic with regards to developing multiple forms of energy sources instead of focusing on oil), but I respect her. I think she's a strong woman who has shown her ability to organize and lead. I admire her tenacity and strength. I think she's received a lot more negative press than is called for.

I wish her luck in her future endeavors.

Garden

2009-06-28T13:55:00.003-05:00

I've had this digital camera for over 5 years now, but haven't really learned how to use it properly. Of course, with digital zoom and auto focus, there isn't much to pointing and shooting pictures. But when I see photos like the ones my mom takes, I'm in awe of her eye for detail and how amazing her pictures turn out.

I want to master this camera and all of its functions before we get another one (George has mentioned several times that he wants a new digital video camera, and I figure we'll get an all-in-one video/still cam to save space). In the meantime, I'm going to figure out how to work this one to achieve the kinds of photos I want.

Oh, and if you find that some of the photos on our online album are out of order, it's because some weird German appropriated a photo of Georgie and was posting it on myspace. So I moved it in order to break links. Sorry for the inconvenience.

And now, some photos from the garden this morning:

cherry tomatoes growing well

Kentucky Wonder pole bean blossoms

Sugar Snap peas

cucumber flower

Library Funding

2009-06-25T20:24:00.001-05:00

In addition to writing Governor Strickland about the library funding cuts, I also emailed my state Senator (Tom Patton) and state Representative (Nan Baker).

I received this response from Senator Patton's office this morning:

Thank you for your email. I appreciate you taking time to email me. I have always been a strong supporter of public libraries. Ohio’s libraries are some of the best in our nation and I will do my best to minimize these devastating cuts. Thank you again for your email.

Sincerely,

Tom Patton
State Senator
24th District

Dear Governor Strickland

2009-06-24T14:40:00.003-05:00

Governor Ted Strickland
Governor's Office
Riffe Center, 30th Floor
77 South High Street
Columbus, OH 43215-6108

Dear Governor Strickland:

First, let me start by telling you what I am not: I am not a librarian. I am not a employed by any public or private library, and although I do have a sister-in-law that works for the Cleveland Public Library, I do not.

I have three children, the oldest of which is starting kindergarten this fall. All three have their own library cards, in their own names, which we applied for as soon as they had social security numbers. We are regular (read: weekly) patrons of the Fairview Park branch of the Cuyahoga County Public Library here in Fairview. We have attended Baby and Me classes, preschool reading time, met other young mothers, formed friendships with them and their children, learned vast amounts of information... all from our local library.

I have personally witnessed the positive impact our library system has had on my children through their love of books. Your proposed fifty-percent cuts to the library budgets will be detrimental to hundreds of thousands of families across our region; families like mine.

Libraries provide us with much more than books. From summer reading programs to story times, computer access to the toy lending library, we have come to know our children’s services librarians, circulation clerks, management staff, and the lady who cleans daily. The jobs and families of these individuals will be detrimentally impacted.

I am not a library employee, but I am a patron. I love my library. I am proud of my library. It has helped to educate our family and foster a love of learning. A love of books.

Please, do not threaten the future of my children by limiting access to this imperative resource.

Respectfully,

Deanna Rasch