She had come to me as an incredibly nervous guest, but by the time she left, she had come to trust me, and maybe even love me. Considering how much she seemed to distrust me when she first arrived, that felt like quite an achievement.

The Uber Dilemma: Preparing for the Journey Home

I booked a pet-friendly Uber to take us back to her home. I’ve booked pet-friendly Ubers before, only for the driver to arrive and then refuse to take the dog. I wanted to avoid that happening this time, so I sent the driver a message beforehand to make sure he was fully aware that his passenger had four legs, a flat face and absolutely no concept of personal space.

I left her in the front garden to roam around while we waited for the car to arrive. I think she knew she was going home, because the only other time she had been in the front garden was when she arrived.

Back then, she had been sticking her nose through the bars as though she was looking for someone. She had done the same thing while watching my brother walk away after dropping her off, and I remember thinking how nervous and unsettled she looked.

This time, though, she seemed much more relaxed.

The Great Escape: A Sudden Case of Stockholm Syndrome?

As I was trying to get her into the car, she somehow slipped her lead and disappeared.

I was about to have a heart attack.

Then I noticed she had run straight back into my flat.

Had she gone down with a case of Stockholm syndrome? Had she finally stopped seeing me as her captor and started seeing me as her friend?

Or had she simply remembered that my flat contained a comfortable bed and unlimited opportunities to annoy me?

Either way, I couldn’t put up with her snoring, so I carried her fat arse back to the car.

I love you, Belle, but I love my snore-free nights more.

The Pet-Friendly Uber that Wasn’t Prepared

I had placed some bedding down for her to sit/lie on in the rear footwell. As I got her out of the car, I noticed that some of her hair had made its way onto the upholstery. I put the dog in the house and came back to help clean up.

This was when I discovered that the driver had absolutely nothing.

No vacuum.

No wipes.

No brush.

Nothing.

How can you offer a pet-friendly service and keep no cleaning materials in your boot?

I found a dry cloth and basically scraped as much of the hair out as I could until he eventually said he would take it to a garage later to have it cleaned properly.

And then, just like that, Belle was home.

The Eerie Silence of an Empty Flat

When I got back to my flat, I found it eerily quiet and empty.

No nasally bulldog breathing.

No snoring.

No bloody flies buzzing around.

Just silence.

It was actually a little strange.

I had got used to having her around. There had been the snoring, the farting, the hair, the flies, the occasional refusal to eat her breakfast and all the other little things that came with having a bulldog as a temporary housemate.

And despite all of that, I had really enjoyed having her here.

She had arrived nervous and unsure, and left knowing that this was somewhere she could feel safe. I suppose that’s probably the nicest thing I could take from the whole experience.

The Verdict: Would I Do It Again?

Would I get a dog myself?

Absolutely not.

Would I look after Belle again?

Probably.

Would I willingly spend another week listening to her snore like a malfunctioning tractor?

Let’s not get carried away.

It was nice having a dog around the place again, but it won’t become a permanent thing.

Although, I have to admit, the flat feels awfully quiet without her.

Belle’s Bulldog Staycation
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9

Image by Cyril from Pixabay

The post Belle’s Bulldog Staycation: Day 9 – Goodbye, Belle first appeared on Dean Saliba Dot Com.

I was hoping to catch up on the athletics that I had missed (believe it or not, I was still catching up on the Commonwealth Games), but Belle had seemed to fully settle into her bulldog staycation and was snoring so loudly that I couldn’t hear the commentators.

Marathon Training vs. Minor Aches

I skipped a planned long run as my hip has started causing me some concern. The pain isn’t bad enough to actually stop me from running, but with only five weeks until Copenhagen, I treat any slight bit of discomfort or ache with a certain amount of trepidation.

As I was unable to watch the athletics because Belle was snoring like an old diesel engine struggling on a cold morning, I decided to make the short walk to Hackney Marshes and watch my nephew play football instead.

A Sober Sunday at Hackney Marshes

He has been on his own clean and sober journey for even longer than I have, and I’m very proud of him because it affected him a lot worse than the dreaded drink and drugs did me.

We used to get up to all sorts at the weekend, on the beer and gear. Now we are just two sober blokes in our forties, drinking zero-alcohol beer and comparing our bellies.

Looking Back and Moving Forward

It’s funny how life can change. Once upon a time, neither of us would have imagined that this would be where we ended up — standing on the sidelines watching football, completely sober, discussing who has put on the most weight.

And, somehow, I suspect Belle would have approved of the zero-alcohol beer too. Especially if it meant be being out of the way so she could snooze the rest of her bulldog staycation away.

Belle’s Bulldog Staycation
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9

Image by Melanie from Pixabay

The post Belle’s Bulldog Staycation: Day 8 – The Snoring Begins first appeared on Dean Saliba Dot Com.

She surprised me this morning by polishing off her entire breakfast. Normally, I have no option but to chuck it away the moment she walks away from the bowl; otherwise, a horde of greenbottle flies immediately descends upon it from the garden. Even with my swiftness, there were still a couple who fancied their chances and followed me into the kitchen.

Pacing at Parkrun

I left her on her own for an hour while I nipped out to do Parkrun. Today was a Mile End pacing event. The idea was to stick with the 24-minute pacer, but he was a tad slow, so I eased past him and had to rely on my own effort to maintain my pace.

I finished in 23:33, which is roughly what I want to be hitting if I’m going to achieve my target time of 1:40 in Copenhagen next month. I just need to do four of those in a row and still have enough left in the tank for a speedy final kilometre.

Kick-Off and Chaos

After a nap, it was finally time.

Time for Millwall to open their season.

Time for Belle to meet the real Uncle Dean.

Within two minutes, I was out of my chair and yelling at the TV, and Belle bolted into the garden.

She retreated into the shed, which was probably a lot cooler for her with the fan, and actually stayed there until after the game, when I eventually coaxed her back inside with her dinner.

I suspect she was beginning to wonder what had happened to the quiet, peaceful man she had spent the last few days with.

Drama on Penalties

Of course, Millwall do not do things the easy way. We needed penalties — and the heroics of our goalkeeper, who saved FOUR of theirs — in order to progress to the next round.

It might be a Mickey Mouse cup (until one of the big Premier League clubs misses out on Europe in the league), but it is still a chance to give our fringe players some much-needed game time.

And, more importantly, it gave Belle her first proper glimpse of what she can expect when she comes to stay with me again.

I’m not sure she was impressed.

Belle’s Bulldog Staycation
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9

Image by Cyril from Pixabay

The post Belle’s Bulldog Staycation: Day 7 – Meet the Real Uncle Dean first appeared on Dean Saliba Dot Com.

It also meant that I had the opportunity to get some housework done and catch up on some writing that I had been putting off for way too long. Nothing says “Friday feeling” quite like catching up on chores and staring at a blank WordPress editor.

Making Progress with Belle

Belle is slowly but surely taking to me. She still runs out into the garden whenever I get out of my chair, just in case I’ve suddenly decided to become terrifying, but she is now following me around the garden and is much more amenable to having her head stroked.

I’m taking that as progress.

At this rate, by the end of the week she might even allow me to stand up without immediately fleeing the room.

Couch Potatoes and Classic TV

We also spent a lovely afternoon watching classic sitcoms such as Rising Damp and Steptoe & Son, followed by a couple of episodes of Diagnosis: Murder.

Well, I watched them.

Belle spent most of the afternoon snoring her head off beside me. I’m beginning to suspect she considers my house less of a holiday destination and more of an all-inclusive sleep retreat.

The Return of the Beautiful Game

The football season officially starts tomorrow in this house, with Millwall playing QPR in the League Cup.

The League Cup is a weird one because most fans seem to hate it. Having the first round on the Saturday before the league season starts has upset quite a few people, but personally, I think it’s just as important as its more prestigious cousin, the FA Cup.

Besides, it’s football.

That’s all the excuse I need.

I do wonder how Belle is going to react tomorrow when I’m screaming at the television. She should be used to it, though, as my brother is a big Millwall fan as well.

Where do you think he learnt his passion for football from?

That’s right.

Belle’s Bulldog Staycation
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9

Image by Валентин Симеонов from Pixabay

The post Belle’s Bulldog Staycation: Day 6 – The Bulldog, The Sofa & The Beautiful Game first appeared on Dean Saliba Dot Com.

Which is really fucking creepy in the middle of the night.

I mean, what is she doing? Is she secretly plotting my downfall?

The Great Shed Showdown

After her breakfast, I left her alone for an hour or so before approaching her in the shed to give her a dose of her monthly flea treatment. I don’t think any dog likes this monthly routine, so I was obviously expecting a bit of a fight from a dog in a foreign home who is normally very skittish anyway.

And I was right.

Once I entered the shed, she tried to make a break for it, but I put my knee out, which made her escape impossible. Knowing it was futile, she quickly gave up and reluctantly allowed me to do what I needed to do.

I then pulled out some ham and left her to eat it and sulk for the rest of the morning. Every now and again, she would come to the shed door and glare at me.

Not my favourite part of a bulldog staycation, and I suspect it wasn’t hers either.

Finding Her Brave Face

When she heard my girlfriend and daughter come in, she came into the front room and suddenly grew a pair of bollocks.

Hiding behind the chair my girlfriend was sitting in, she would pop her head up and bark at me.

I played along, stamping my foot and growling, “Gertcha!” She would then play back by running out of the door before coming back to her hiding place to bark at me again.

It was like she had suddenly discovered that, with my girlfriend acting as a human shield, she was the bravest dog in the world.

The Ferocious Slobber Attack

I then made the mistake of deciding to clean her bed while she was using my girlfriend as a shield.

Quick as a flash — quick for a bulldog, anyway — she attacked and pinned me down while slobbering all over me.

My girlfriend was of little help during this ferocious attack. She stopped laughing just long enough to steady the camera and take a video.

Apparently, documenting my downfall was more important than coming to my rescue.

Belle’s Bulldog Staycation
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9

Image by Cyril from Pixabay

The post Belle’s Bulldog Staycation: Day 5 – Belle’s Revenge first appeared on Dean Saliba Dot Com.

She’s also nowhere near as skittish with me as she was when she first arrived. Sure, she still runs off when I get too close, but not nearly as often. She’ll now let me walk past her without bolting and has even started following me around the garden from a safe distance.

Bravery From Behind a Brick Wall

When my girlfriend and daughter came over, Belle suddenly found her courage. She started barking at me while hiding behind the chair my girlfriend was sitting in. I’d hear a bark, then see her head slowly pop up from the safety of the other side of the chair to check whether I was still there.

It was the canine equivalent of shouting insults from behind a brick wall.

We did that thing where I pretend to hit my girlfriend, and Belle barked furiously at me. Then we swapped roles… and the stupid dog still barked at me. Has the traitor forgotten that I’m the one who keeps her alive by feeding her and keeping the flat and garden cool?

Let’s see if she can open her own tins of dog food.

Five-Star Reviews for the bulldog staycation Menu

Speaking of food, she completely finished her dinner tonight. She obviously enjoyed the evening’s menu: beef and liver in a rich jelly sauce, topped with a generous layer of the finest thinly sliced ham. Or, as humans call it, a tin of Butcher’s dog food with Lidl’s budget ham thrown on top.

Another glowing review for my bulldog staycation business.

Lessons Learned in Indoor Lodging

The overnight temperature was forecast to drop to 13°C, so I thought it might be a bit too chilly to leave her outside in the shed and garden. After a brief chase around the garden and a stern “Get inside!”, I finally managed to close the back door.

She promptly peed on her bedding.

Apparently, this is something my brother warned me about. Don’t leave anything on the floor, or Belle will claim it as her personal toilet. Consider that lesson learned.

Belle’s Bulldog Staycation
Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | Day 8 | Day 9

Image by Cyril from Pixabay

The post Belle’s Bulldog Staycation: Day 4 – Feeling Right at Home first appeared on Dean Saliba Dot Com.