Then, his conversation partner speaks and Donald listens. He absorbs that information and the process starts again.

Most of us in the business and corporate world can relate to Donald’s process because, really, it’s our process, too. It’s creating and communicating verbal messages that are relevant to the listener and in context to the situation or subject being discussed.

This process doesn’t come easy to Donald just because he loves to talk, but also because he loves what he does.

Those who love their work are fortunate and are rarely at a loss for something to say. When you are motivated or rewarded by your work, talking about your expertise is easier. I have often said that I would do what I do for free if I didn’t need a paycheck to live.

In church once, our pastor asked facetiously, “How many of you can’t wait to go to work tomorrow?” My knee jerk response was to raise my hand. I remember starting to put my hand up and then sheepishly bringing it back down. My husband, Steve, looked at me and grinned, for two reasons, I think. One, because the pastor was asking a hypothetical question and, two, because Steve knows my heart.

If you don’t love what you’re doing, seek some career counseling. In the meantime, find one aspect of your work that you do love or enjoy. Write about it. Discover more about it. Compare it to what people in other industries are experiencing. Find parallels between that aspect and things you love and enjoy about your personal life.

Soon, you’ll find yourself talking about it.

My corporate clients get it. They know that expertise alone isn’t enough. Yes, you must be able to communicate your message to others with a voice that makes them sit up and listen. Yes, it’s easier to communicate your message—whether to a group or in a one-on-one sales pitch—when you have the tools, preparation and confidence.

But there’s something else, and it often gets overlooked. You have to have something to say.

No, not a script or bullet points, but something to say. Something that’s authentically you.

Relaxing in front of a television or playing video games is fine recreation, but if that’s all you do after work it’s no wonder you have nothing to say. One of my clients once told me: My life is not that interesting. Why would anyone want to hear what I have to say?

Turns out he did have hobbies that were interesting. He just wasn’t comfortable talking about himself. I asked him to stand up and tell me about some of his travels and athletic pursuits. Slowly, he began to enjoy telling stories from his experiences. He soon came to realize that these stories could be purposefully crafted to make a point in a presentation or to gain someone’s interest in his business topic.

So, if you’re in the recliner/TV/cold beverage after-work slump, how do you emerge? Here’s an idea. Choose one hobby or activity that you used to enjoy. Revisit it. Spend some time with it. Find others who enjoy it. See if that old love affair with it is rekindled.

Volunteer at your church or synagogue. Read books. Join a networking group. Visit the elderly. Create a list of activities you would like to do one day. Next to each, write just one small step you could take toward making that happen. Expose yourself to a new kind of music or learn to dance. Train for a half-marathon. Challenge yourself to do something different.

Just get off the couch. Not only will this make you a more interesting communicator, but your mental abilities may improve, your health may be enhanced, and, who knows? You might just lose some weight!

And you’ll have something to say.

Aimee Groth reported that Jacobs stated “I’ve been struggling with writing it (the speech), to be honest. I’m not a good writer at all,” he tells New York Mag. “Anytime anyone’s ever asked me to write something, what I do is, I write notes and thoughts, and they build up and over a week I kind of edit through those thoughts. And then I try to put them in some order and then I reread it. Then I run it by somebody. Then I rewrite it.”

The viewer gets the feeling that Jacobs just wants to get the acceptance speech over.  He basically read from his notes.  It is a good idea to write your speech before presenting but I believe that it hurts your credibility to read your notes.  The same goes for memorizing your notes.  It is best to know your material so well that you could have someone give you a key word from your speech notes and then you could talk to the point the key word represents.  There is no substitute for being prepared.  You can’t be prepared if you wait until a day or two before the speaking event.  

Preparing a speech is analogous to cooking homemade spaghetti. I do not mean pouring a jar of Ragu into cooked ground beef…..I mean starting from scratch.  How long do you typically cook spaghetti sauce?  A long time….3 or 4 hours of simmering. Why simmering?  It allows the spices, tomato sauce and ground beef to mix together….a better word is meld together.  The result?  A really, tasty sauce. 

 So, what’s the point?  Your speech will be much more effective if you start working on it early and then leave it alone for a few days so that the ideas, examples, thoughts can mix together.  Also, while the speech is “simmering”, life will be happening and will provide you with incredible examples, if you are looking through the eyes of your speech! 

One more thought, Jacobs probably did not give much thought to connecting with his audience.  He almost never looked up from his notes. He just wanted the acceptance speech to end.  The audience is not an enemy.  They want you to succeed.  Look your listeners in the eye.  Connect with them. They want to connect with you-the speaker.

Change the way you view delivering information.  It is an opportunity.  Indeed a privilege!

Right away, I liked the title. I like the word “transcending.”  I also know that I am personally trying to learn to “go with the flow” in my own life.  That is a hard trait to learn. Especially when you are a control freak like me.But control can be good.

Anyway, the DVD is the story of a young lady and young man who have been in speech therapy most of their lives. It is also the story of an amazing speech-language pathologist and his work with these two individuals over the years.  Self-awareness and self-adjustment are key factors in transcending stuttering.  This DVD inspired me and resonated with me in more ways that I can explain.

If you stutter, I want to encourage you today.  Journey on.  Stuttering is a part of who you are.  What you do with and about the stuttering is your choice.  You are in control.  Instead of fighting and struggling…..go with the flow.  Know your truth and be true to it.

The inability to speak freely doesn’t just happen to people who stutter. Think about humans who experience stroke or head injury,  or have cancer of the tongue.  They experience the inability to speak as well.  It is crippling. 

When Kirk Douglas took the stage at the AcademyAwards in February, I would imagine that many in the audience cringed as he spoke maybe even feeling embarrassed for him.  I can imagine that those watching by television may have thought “Why would they put him on stage?  He can barely talk!”  You have no idea what an accomplishment that was for him, his family and his therapists! They were most assuredly CELEBRATING his achievement! Producing meaningful speech after a stroke is a true accomplishment.  What a gift. 

I write this blog because as a supporter and advocate for people who stutter, I have become very sensitive to the gift of speech. I have learned that helping people become more effective communicators is much bigger than I am.  It requires knowledge, encouragement, love and acceptance to develop.  If you can express yourself verbally, take a minute to be still, fold your hands and look upwards giving a heartfelt thank you for this wondrous ability.

The movie deals with how he prepared for a pivotal live broadcast to his countrymen as conflict with Nazi Germany was becoming imminent. At the time, there were few therapies to help people who stutter. Today we know that stuttering is mostly physiological in origin and often genetic. While there’s no cure, there are support groups and strategies that help people live with, and sometimes overcome, stuttering.

It’s affirming to see something in the media that treats people who stutter with dignity, but you don’t have to be the King of England to succeed as a person who stutters!

If you want to know more about our stuttering support group, just email me at deborah@professionalspeechservices.net.

 I saw a fascinating interview with Eminem on 60 Minutes months ago.  Whether you care for his brand of music is irrelevant.  What was most intriguing was that Eminem pulled out a large chest in which he kept words and phrases on scraps of paper.  These were words and phrases that “spoke” to him.  Words that he bends and twists to make the lyrics for his rap songs.  I was enthralled that this troubled young man put so much value on words.  “I just felt like I want to have all these words at my disposal, in my vocabulary at all times, whenever I need to pull them out,” Eminem said in the interview with 60 Mintues.  He also stated that he used to read the dictionary as a young man.  Eminem’s lyrics may be angry and targeted but they do tell a story.

* Get the communication skills training/coaching that you need
* If you don’t know what you need, ask for feedback
* Develop excellent presentation skills
* Understand your company’s politics
* Know who holds the power in your company
* Get to know others in your company
* “Brown nosing” is simply looking for opportunities
* Be generous
* Pay attention to your non-verbal communication
* Go to company gatherings and interact with the people who attend