Deep Down, I'm Hilarious

Wedding Cakes!!

2012-03-14T10:43:00.001-05:00

Bridesmaid Dresses

2012-03-14T10:26:00.000-05:00

Morilee 266

After Six 6571

I don't know who makes these dresses, but I love them! Especially the color combo with the grey!

Cute & Funny Animals!!!

2011-07-23T01:08:00.002-05:00

13 years...

2011-07-04T16:16:00.000-05:00

There are some days when I'm tough. Some days where I'm blah. Some days where I am distracted. Some days where I'm preoccupied. Some days I veg out all day and don't realize it. Some days I don't have a moment to myself to even organize my thoughts.

Today... I.MISS.MY.MOM.

Today is the 13th anniversary of her death. I try to think of what that might mean to other people.. I remember how I would have felt before it was me that had to say it, or me who had to relate it to something personal. Before, I immediately would have thought 'Oh so you're over it now.'... 'It's been long enough that it's not a big deal to you anymore'... 'Good thing you're totally ok with it now'.

Today I feel like I'm not OK with it. I miss her. I miss her so much it hurts.

There are days since she died that I have felt so distant from her that I thought I must have dreamed that she ever existed. How could I have had such an unbelievable person who loved me so completely, just disappear from my life? No she didn't die in a car accident, or even suddenly. It was cancer and it was over the course of months. Does that make it easier? I don't think so. I suppose I could go on and on about the reasons for that, but the point is that one day there was an invisible force that I could feel.. almost on my back, in between my shoulder blades.. like as if I were to fall backwards, there was a hand that would literally catch me. A warmth. A pressure that supported you as you progressed in life... and it was always there.. so much that I never felt alone. Until that day. Thirteen years ago today. My world forever changed. It became cold, and dark, and unforgiving.

Today, I am reminded, just like every 4th of July.. as people celebrate, I remember.. I remember her. And how it felt to have her in my life. How lucky I was to have had her. How grateful I am for her.. and how painful it is to not have her.

Grief is a terrible thing. I wish I could feel those words from Pooh.. but today, I just can't. Today, it is once again too real.

Random Thoughts of People Our Age

2011-06-03T01:46:00.003-05:00

Random Thoughts of People Our Age

by Aaron Karo www.Ruminations.com

1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
8. Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
17. Was learning cursive really necessary?
18. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)...ummm...Goonies"
24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
30. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
31. Bad decisions make good stories
32. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
38. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
39. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
43. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
47. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
48. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
49. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
54. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than with Kay.
55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

please check out Aaron Karo at Ruminations.com

"Abortion Saved My Life".. not mine, hers...

2011-06-02T23:58:00.000-05:00

Abortion saved my life: I almost died in an emergency room because the doctor on call refused to perform a necessary procedure

Everyone knew the pregnancy wasn’t viable, that it couldn’t be viable given the amount of blood I was losing, but it still took hours for anyone at the hospital to do anything. The doctor on call didn’t do abortions. At all. Ever. In fact, no one on call that night did. Meanwhile, an ignorant batch of medical students had gathered to study me - one actually showed me the ultrasound of our dying child while asking me if it was a planned pregnancy. Several wanted to examine me while I lay there bleeding and in pain. No one gave me anything for the pain or even respected my request to close the door even though I was on the labor and delivery floor listening to other women have healthy babies as the baby I had been trying to save died in my womb.
I found out that the doctor had taken my husband aside as they brought me into surgery. She promised him she would do her best to save me, but she warned him there was a distinct possibility that she would fail. The doctor who didn’t do abortions was supposed to have contacted her (or someone else who would perform the procedure) immediately. He didn’t. Neither did his students… when a bleeding woman was brought to him for treatment he refused to do the only thing that could stop the bleeding. Because he didn’t do abortions. Ever.
My two kids at home almost lost their mother because someone decided that my life was worth less than that of a fetus that was going to die anyway. My husband had told them exactly what my regular doctor said, and the ER doctor had already warned us what would have to happen. Yet none of this mattered when confronted by the idea that no one needs an abortion. You shouldn’t need to know the details of why a woman aborts to trust her to make the best decision for herself. I don’t regret my abortion, but I would also never use my situation to suggest that the only time another woman should have the procedure is when her life is at stake. After my family found out I’d had an abortion, I got a phone call from a cousin who felt the need to tell me I was wrong to have interfered with God’s plan. And in that moment I understood exactly what kind of people judge a woman’s reproductive choices.

Nope.. don't know who wrote it.. but damnnn is it powerful.

Message to the Tea Party...

2011-06-02T23:17:00.000-05:00

Message to the Tea Party – What took you so long to get angry?

The actual author is unknown but he/she speaks volumes.

You didn’t get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount and appointed a President.

You didn’t get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials to dictate Energy policy and push us to invade Iraq .

You didn’t get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.

You didn’t get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.

You didn’t get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed no threat to us.
You didn’t get mad when we spent over 800 billion (and counting) on said illegal war.
You didn’t get mad when Bush borrowed more money from foreign sources than the previous 42 Presidents combined.

You didn’t get mad when over 10 billion dollars in cash just disappeared in Iraq .

You didn’t get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn’t get mad when Bush embraced trade and outsourcing policies that shipped 6 million American jobs out of the country.

You didn’t get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping Americans.

You didn’t get mad when we didn’t catch Bin Laden.

You didn’t get mad when Bush rang up 10 trillion dollars in combined budget and current account deficits.

You didn’t get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter Reed.

You didn’t get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans, drown.

You didn’t get mad when we gave people who had more money than they could spend, the filthy rich, over a trillion dollars in taxbreaks.
You didn’t get mad with the worst 8 years of job creations in several decades.

You didn’t get mad when over 200,000 US Citizens lost their lives because they had no health insurance.

You didn’t get mad when lack of oversight and regulations from the Bush Administration caused US Citizens to lose 12 trillion dollars in investments, retirement, and home values.

No…..You finally got mad

When a black man was elected President and decided that people in America deserved the right to see a doctor if they are sick

PP, Medicare, Walmart, Guns: The "Mega-Quote"

2011-06-01T13:18:00.001-05:00

"OK, here’s an analogy: preventing poor people from using Medicaid to pay for health care and birth control at Planned Parenthood because PP also performs (not-taxpayer-funded) abortions would be like preventing people on food stamps from using them at Walmart because Walmart also sells guns."

Distinguishing Fascism... So important to read..

2011-06-01T01:59:00.001-05:00

Distinguishing Fascism
1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism - Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.
2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights - Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of “need.” The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.
3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause - The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.
4. Supremacy of the Military - Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.
5. Rampant Sexism - The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Divorce, abortion and homosexuality are suppressed and the state is represented as the ultimate guardian of the family institution. >
6. Controlled Mass Media - Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.
7. Obsession with National Security - Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.
8. Religion and Government are Intertwined - Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government’s policies or actions.
9. Corporate Power is Protected - The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.
10. Labor Power is Suppressed - Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.
11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts - Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts and letters is openly attacked.
12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment - Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.
13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption - Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.
14. Fraudulent Elections - Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.
vernardm:
Dr. Lawrence Britt has examined the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia) and several Latin American regimes. Britt found 14 defining characteristics common to each

So true!!!!

2011-05-31T01:59:00.002-05:00

"Only in America can you be pro-death penatly, pro-war, pro-unmanned drone bombs, pro-nuclean weapons, pro-guns, pro-torture, pro-land mines, and still call yourself pro-life."

He's Just Not That Into You Quotes (Book)..

2011-05-31T01:58:00.000-05:00

I gathered up these quotes for a friend in need.. Everyone should READ THIS BOOK!!!

"When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you'd like us to be" by Greg

"Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just THAT crazy! Bullshit. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing it is almost impossible NOT to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. We may try to make you think differently, but we men are just like you. We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. It makes us happy. And we like to be happy, just like you. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you." by Greg (speaking from the chapter called "He's just not that into you if he's not calling you....men know how to use the phone"

"1f you don't believe Greg...100% of men polled said they've never been too busy to call a woman they were really into. As one fine man said, 'A man has got to have his priorities'" by Greg

"If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes" by Greg

"You already have one asshole. You don't need another." by Greg (from "What you should have learned from this chapter"....from the chapter titled "He's just not that into you if he's a selfish jerk, a bully, or a really big freak

At the end of the book, here are the Standard Suggestions that you should set up for yourself (i'm talking girls here) for your standards:
1. I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.
2. I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
3. I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
4. I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.
5. I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesireable.
6. I will not be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.
7. I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.
8. I will not date a man who is married.
9. I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

"If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call."

"Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you."

"It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less -- even a vague pathetic facsimile of less -- than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to."

"You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith."

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

Cut your losses and don't waste your time . Why stay in some weird dating limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better territory? Don't want to hear it? Fine. Here's the answer you're looking for, "Hang in there, baby. He's not the loser everybody's telling you he is. If you wait and keep your mouth shut and call at exactly the right time and anticipate his moods and have no expectations about communication or your own sexual needs, you can have him!" But please don't be surprised if he dumps you or continues to drag you through a completely unsatisfying relationship.

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend

No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.

Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.

Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.

You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.

"The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed."

"Don't ask yourself what you did wrong or how you could have done it differently. Don't waste your valuable heart and mind trying to figure out why he did what he did. Or thinking back on all the things he said, and wondering what was the truth and what was the lie. The only thing you need to know is that it's really good news: He's gone." - He's just not that into you by by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

We go out with someone, we get excited about them, and then they do something that mildly disappoints us. Then they keep doing a lot more things that disappoint us. Then we go into hyper-excuse mode for weeks or possibly months, because the last thing we want to think is that this great man that we are so excited about is in the process of turning into a creep. We try to come up with some explanation for why they’re behaving that way, any explanation, no matter how ridiculous, rather than one explanation that’s the truth: he’s just not that into me.

Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted. And unless you do move on and find the right person, you’re not going to wish you had spent more time with Stinky the Time-Waster or Freddy Can’t Remember to Call.

People are inspired to do remarkable things to find and be with the one they love. Big movies are made about it. Every relationship that you admire bursts with a greatness that you hope for in your life. And the more you value yourself, the more chances you have of getting it.

You know you deserve to have a great relationship.

Don’t you want the guy who’ll forget about all the other things in life before he forgets you?

Is better than nothing what we’re going for now? Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time? Just because he’s busy doesn’t make him more valuable. Busy doesn’t mean better.

You can accept his excuses all you want but is this the relationship you want? Is this how you want to feel? Perhaps forever?

Don’t let your desire to be loved and feel affection cloud your judgment.

There are cool, loving, SINGLE men in the world. Find one of them to go out with.

Don’t let his personal complications confuse you into waiting around for him. If he’s not able to be really into you, then you deserve better.

Ahhh... Memorial Day..

2011-05-31T01:50:00.001-05:00

It seems to be that Memorial Day is a holiday that is so misunderstood. The name itself should give hints to what it's for, but it seems like everyone thinks Memorial Day is the same thing as Veteran's Day. There's a big difference, and if people took the time to read up on it, they'd realize exactly how that first Memorial Day came about.. It's one of those stories that makes you thankful there's a day to remember it. But still, people confuse it anyways and don't even pay attention to what Memorial Day really is about.

Google break.

Which brings me to a piece of shit that I know. His name is Rob. Yep that's his real name. And he dates a dear friend of mine. How did he meet her? Through me.. accidentally. He's one of my boyfriend's best friends, unfortunately. Right before a big group got together for my birthday, I told her 2 guys will hit on you tonight.. Chris and Rob. Go for Chris, DON'T go for Rob. She got confused and mixed them up. Sigh...

So Rob's brother is in Afghanistan right now. He's been there for a few weeks. Let me give you some background on the first time I met the brother.. Shithead Rob says 'Hey tell them about the cat-- you're going to love this.. this is great..'. The brother tells us that if a stray cat walks onto his lawn he warns the cat, but if the cat doesn't get off his lawn fast enough, he shoots it on sight. Like for real shoots it dead. A stray cat. Living in a city of 300,000 people not including the surrounding suburbs.

They are gun crazy, and politically ignorant. If they said intelligent things, even if in opposition of my own views, I would still respect them. But no.. they, Rob in particular but only because I've been around him more, will come up with the most asinine things, not research them at all, and then make ridiculous statements. Or they attempt to use the stupidest things as evidence of their correctness.. Like some random family member taught their 3 year old to say 'NObama' and Rob says that even the 3 year old is smart enough to know Obama is bad, whereas I am not smart enough to know that. These are the kinds of comments I have to listen to.

So brother is in Afghanistan.. Apparently he's already been in a 10 hr firefight, discovered a 300 lb IED, and also was at the sight of a suicide bomber that killed 6 people.. All in the course of 3 weeks. And that 3 weeks starts the exact moment he left Ohio. Hmmm... I told my boyfriend 'Just so you know.. anything that happens over there that is remotely scary, or exciting, he will be there.. no matter how far apart, and even if they are on the same day.. and even if they didn't even happen at all, don't worry- he will be there'. He is that eager for combat.

So Rob informs us this weekend that brother's plans are to 'kill em all' doesn't matter if they are kids, elderly, NOT Taliban or al qaeda, not aggressive, or are minding their own business. Shoot to kill, on sight. Any Afghan. These are the soldiers we have over there. So I said 'So he's going to kill them for sport?' And he says 'You betcha!' all excited. So I said 'Oh so he can spend the rest of his life in prison like those soldiers that they caught doing that last year?' and he says 'well they didn't show our soldiers any mercy when they hung their dead bodies over balconies' (not sure what he's talking about on that one, but I never heard of that.. he could have picked something much more common and realistic, eh?). I responded with 'all Muslims and Afghans are guilty of this, right?' and he said 'yep'. So I pointed out how al qaeda has killed more Muslims than Americans, and that every Muslim sect kicked out the current members of al qaeda for being too extreme and waging an unjust jihad. He kinda stutters and says 'well.. they didn't really kick them out'.. So then my boyfriend said 'Ok guys... enough...' and I got in the last word and said 'I just think it's fucked up that you like to make shit up'.

Now even though I deleted him as a friend on facebook awhile back, despite the fact that he is my boyfriend's best friend, and one of my best friend's boyfriends, he's gone. Dead to me. But just out of curiosity, I checked his facebook before I wrote this to see what he put for Memorial Day (his page is public)..
"Our freedom is not free and it is the soldier that has made the ultimate sacrifice to let us have that freedom.
Thank you to all those have served and those who are serving, especially my brother _____ and the rest of the 6-4 Cav serving in Afghanistan...kill em all Lt.! we'll see you soon"

Such a piece of shit. If our military wasn't spread so thin, there's no way he would have passed the psych test. No way. At least I hope not..

Read the following article.. anyone who sees this.. This is what he will do.

The Kill Team: How U.S. Soldiers In Afghanistan Murdered Innocent Civilians

And please no not think that I don't value our military and the sacrifices they make.. whether it be daily or ultimately.. I do.. Just not those who are not mentally fit to serve.. Something should be done...

Leadership...

2011-05-25T17:07:00.002-05:00

Ok so I don't necessarily want those things. But I think that it is a valid point. Why are our leaders so much of a misrepresentation of the people? We hold them to such weird standards that it seems like they canNOT be true representations of us. What if a lesbian ran for president? Or any office for that matter? Are there any? I doubt it. But why? Because people think they would be biased. A few weeks ago, it was discovered/revealed that the judge that made gay civil unions legal in California was himself gay. Everyone cried foul. He had ruled against the straights so it must be bc he is biased. But why doesn't anyone say that when a straight judge rules against gay marriage? Aren't they just as biased? Makes sense to me.

I didn't have air conditioning for a long time. My boyfriend who lived with me at the end of my no A/C years has said that we will never ever go without air conditioning again. But wouldn't it be nice to have a leader who knew what it was like to go without? That same apartment had terrible heat. It worked, no doubt, but the whole apartment leaked so bad that I couldn't keep it warm and went broke trying to. A $500 heating bill for a 1 bedroom apartment? Yep that happened to me. I thought of applying for HEAP. I didn't though. But wouldn't it be nice for someone to understand how it feels to say 'well I can either freeze, or get help'.

And I don't care if someone has had an abortion, that's their choice. But can we have someone who has been in that tough spot? Someone who has had to wrestle those demons.. the ones where you hear the message of pro-lifers and has had to ask themselves 'can I do that and be ok with myself?'

I had a step cousin.. I remember the exact moment I met him. And that moment put him up on a pedestal, literally I looked at him to be higher.. He was on top of a one story building retrieving a ball that had made it's way up there during the course of rigorous play by his much younger cousins. He had climbed a tree to get on top of the building to retrieve it so yes, he was higher. Anyways, I thought it was such a gentlemanly thing to do. Nothing extraordinary, just a display of being a good person. He was gay. He had AIDS. And he was wonderful. And I remember hearing of his final moments on earth.. saying 'it feels like there is an elephant sitting on my chest'. I have never shook that memory. I think of him every time there is any discussion about anything relating to gay rights. Can we get a leader who can think of those points? Think about his partner that was left behind?

I do want a president who knows what it is like to struggle. I want someone that represents me. I want someone who can get down in the gutter to fix something if that is what is needed because they don't look down on those who are already there. I want someone who can sympathize or empathize with those at their weakest. I've heard that the only true measurement of a society is how they treat their poor. What does that say about our society? How can we continue to kick those who are down? After the tsunami and earthquake in Japan, I read of people.. rich and poor.. coming from all over Japan to help. One man said that in Japan, they all believe that 'we eat from the same bowl' and what affects one, affects all. I don't care about Japan's policies.. that's not the point. The point is that we need someone who represents us and looks out for us, ALL OF US.

Eleanor Roosevelt...

2011-05-24T14:47:00.000-05:00

Although I didn't know of this quote, I like to think that I have been doing this for so long.. I think that I'm a much more of a scared individual than I pretend to be. I don't like change, even though I know that it leads to growth. And I have some horrible memories.. been through some very trying times.. I've found myself several times saying 'i just can't do this.. i can't'.

But then what are my options? That's what I always ask myself. I imagine too that no matter how much I love my boyfriend I will get cold feet immediately before walking down the aisle. Not enough to make me not do it, and it's nothing about him, I just get scared. I don't like monumental events.. I don't want to ruin them. I don't want to do them poorly. I know when all eyes are on me and I don't like it.

But what I'm referring more to is things that require my inner strength. The times when I say to myself 'this will be hard.. you may fail.. you may be laughed at.. you WILL be uncomfortable.. but you have to do this.'

There's one moment in my life that I always go back to when I get scared.. when I doubt my ability to do something...

My mom died on the 4th of July 1998. It was 2 weeks after I graduated high school. I was alone. I was living in our house, screwed over by my family and kicked when I was down. They had looted my house while my mother was dying. They took just about everything. They even took the cleaning supplies.. the food.. my mother's underwear. They took everything they didn't need a moving truck for, for the most part. They took her jewelry.. they took her clothes.. they found a home for one of our dogs. I wasn't home.. I was at college orientation. She was passing away. I was tortured by it, and tortured by them as she was dying.. they were bringing up those horrible fights that teenage girls have with their mothers.. they were throwing them in my face while she lay there at hospice saying 'I don't think you could ever say you were sorry to her enough'.. Keep in mind, my mother was sick for a few months.. we had hashed through everything, some of my favorite moments. Those raw moments where you know you are being an ugly crier and you don't care. It's real emotion, at its core. And she had warned me that I couldn't trust my family.. She had told them to look out for me and they had actually argued about it. She knew what was coming, and she didn't like it. But even at hospice, she held on. She fought. Unconsciously. At one point the nurses came to us and said that she was holding on because she felt there was unfinished business. There was something she needed to be at peace with before she could let go. They decided it was me. It wasn't our fights she wasn't at peace with, it was my future. And my mother was suffering.

They had me go in her room, alone. They made everyone leave. I had to sit there are talk to her. I had to tell her that I would be OK. I had to tell her that I had been to college orientation. I had to tell her that I had enrolled in classes. I had to tell her everything I could to reassure her that I would be OK. And I did it. I told her. I cried. I told her I loved her. But I told her I would be OK.

I left her room crying and went to the bathroom in the family lounge. There was pounding on the door. I raced to her room. I made it in time to hold her hand for her last breaths.

She passed.

I had to find the strength to go on. Every moment kept passing even though I didn't want it to. I was numb. I was crushed. I was spent. The world was the coldest it had ever been that 4th of July.

Life had to go on. It had to. I couldn't stop it, and I had to do what I told her. I had to start college. I had to follow through.

The moment in life that I go back to is this... I remember that first day of classes. I remember parking my car in the only parking lot I really knew of. I remember taking a deep breath and getting out of the car. My life was in shambles, it really was. I was still crushed. I was crushed for so long. But I had to do it. I couldn't sit in my car forever. I gathered my strength, held my head high.. and I remember the exact moment I stepped on the curb.. the curb that led to the sidewalk that I would cross to be on my way.. as I took that step I said to myself "It has been less then 2 months since mom died.. and here I am.. walking to my first college class.. She would love this if she were here". I reassured myself that in some way, she was there. I could feel her. I knew. And she was proud and happy. She smiled on me and I had the strength.

Finley Quaye - Your Love Gets Sweeter

2011-04-12T01:11:00.001-05:00

Jon Troast - The Most (Music Video)

2011-04-12T01:09:00.001-05:00

My study Buddy..

2011-04-06T23:46:00.001-05:00

Her's not so good at Chemistry.. Too boring.

15 Best Yearbook Quotes

2011-04-06T00:05:00.000-05:00

15 Best Yearbook Quotes

13 Oct 2010, written by Revelation

So when you finally done with high school you get to leave one last quote to be cemented in the yearbook and time forever, a good chance to sound smart, motivated, and compassionate. Instead some people take that offer and really go balls to the wall and make a joke of it. I had a few friends myself that had some classic yearbook quotes from “Why do mice have shoulder blades, life is a mystery.” to “Ride or Die- DMX”, both from two of my best friends. Here are 15 classic quotes from the yearbook that are pretty hilarious.

Check the rest below.

BONUS YEARBOOK MOMENTS

Borrowed from here: http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1uuPOd/www.zootpatrol.com/index.php/2010/10/15-best-yearbook-quotes/

Hunting...

2011-04-03T19:44:00.003-05:00

Ferris Bueller's Day Off - Indie Trailer Remake

2011-04-01T17:25:00.001-05:00

to the tune of “A Slight Return Home” by Wood Pigeon

100 Ways to Change Your Life For The Better

2011-04-01T16:13:00.000-05:00

100 ways to change your life for the better:

TRAVEL

1) Travel when you can. Travel can open your eyes to the world and offer a fresh new perspective.

2) Take a weekend trip. If you haven’t got the funds for a jaunt to Paris, no matter. Even a weekend or day long break from home can make you happier.

3) Spend time by the ocean. There’s nothing like sand between your toes and fresh sea air.

4) Go camping. Commune with nature closer to home—the food will taste better and you’ll sleep deeper in the great outdoors.

5) Go skydiving. Face your fears and reap the benefits of this exhilarating extreme sport—you’ll be euphoric for weeks.

6) Go stargazing. Find a spot relatively free of unnatural light and marvel at the beauty of the night sky.

7) Sit in front of a beautiful view. Find a spot close by with a nice view that you can visit when you need a break.

WORK

8 ) Make enough money to meet your basic needs. Studies have shown that anything beyond that amount will not necessarily make you happier.

9) Avoid financial hierarchies. For a new job, choose a place where everyone makes a similar amount. People feel better when they feel equal to their co-workers.

10) Find satisfaction in the job you have. Don’t expect to find one job that will make you happy—instead focus on the positive aspects of your work instead of blaming a job for your unhappiness.

11) Take initiative at work. You’ll gain professional respect, self-fulfillment and feel more in control in the workplace.

12) Keep plants in your workspace. The LA Times found that employees who decorate their office space are more satisfied with their jobs.

13) Bake cookies and bring them to work. You’ll enjoy the baking and making your co-workers happy.

HEALTH
14) Get enough sleep. Sleeping for 8 hours per night can elevate your mood and better prepare you to greet the day.
15) Take vitamin C. Keeping your immune system happy will keep you happy.
16) Laugh out loud. Laughing releases endorphins and lowers levels of stress hormones.
17) Cook with more garlic. Garlic not only adds delicious flavor to meals, it also keeps blood pressure down to keep you relaxed and healthy.
18) Get more fresh air. Fresh air is invigorating and alters the levels of serotonin in your brain—the stuff that makes you happy!
19) Eat more foods with tryptophan. It has an amino acid needed to make serotonin, the chemicals that make you happy. Try more bananas, dairy products and poultry.
20) Work out. Exercising can not only make you feel better about yourself, it also releases endorphins in your body to give you a natural high.
21) Eat chocolate. Besides releasing endorphins and stimulating serotonin production in your brain, chocolate releases phenylethylamine, the chemical that causes feelings of love.
22) Meditate. According to the Dalai Lama as well as several medical studies, meditation not only decreases stress, but also triggers a neurological response that makes you happy.
23) Do yoga. Learning to control your breathing through yoga practice helps you control your responses to stress and fear.
24) Get a massage. Besides its relaxing properties, the touch involved in massage creates warmth in your body and releases the chemical oxytocin—also known as the cuddle hormone.
25) Eat chickpeas (or other beans). Chickpeas have an amino acid that makes you happy, and beans keep your sugar levels steady throughout the day.
26) Have sex. Numerous studies show that a healthy sexual intimacy with a caring partner can have tremendous physical and emotional benefits.
27) Install more windows in your house. Getting enough exposure to the sun has been proven to be crucial to happiness and well-being.
28) Put full-spectrum lights in your home or office. If you live in a wintry climate that doesn’t get much sun, you can replicate the effect with light bulbs that mimic the sun’s rays.
29) Drink coffee. Studies in Brazil showed that people who drink coffee every day are less likely to suffer from depression. Coffee is the world’s most popular mood-enhancing drug, but remember to drink in moderation
30) Eat more spinach. Popeye’s favorite green is packed with folic acid, an important vitamin that boosts serotonin production.
31) Eat foods high in Omega-3 fatty acids. Certain kinds of fish like salmon or sardines have Omega-3, which is known to elevate mood levels—high doses are even used to treat depression.
32) Eat more colorful fruits and vegetables. They contain antioxidants which help remove toxins from our bodies that cause stress and aging.
33) Put some strawberries in your breakfast. The smell of strawberries is known to invigorate and energize.
34) Drink hot mint tea. The scent of fresh mint is energizing and the steam will perk you up.

ATTITUDE
35) Smile. It takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown.
36) Make a grateful list. Focus on all the great things in your life to enhance feelings of joy and attract more good things.
37) Break outside your comfort zone. Being comfortable doesn’t make you happy—challenging yourself does.
38) Follow your gut. Most of the time your first instinct is not only correct, but the best choice.
39) Don’t regret your decisions. If it turns out you were wrong, don’t waste time worrying about it, instead make the next best decision and move forward.
40) Accept that you can’t be happy all the time. Focus on being content and the truly happiness will be all that much sweeter.
41) Try to see from others’ perspectives. Much of our unhappiness comes from our frustration with other people not understanding us. Try to imagine how they see the world and the frustration will ease.
42) Let the little things go. There’s no sense in wasting your energy and inhibiting your happiness by worrying about things you can’t change.
43) Make the decision to be happy. Happiness is an attitude, not a physical state.
44) Don’t take things personally. So often, anger and frustration directed at us is a result of someone else’s misplaced stress. Recognize that it’s not necessarily about you and you’ll remain calmer and happier.
45) Savor the small moments. People who take longer to enjoy small moments and then reflect on them later in the day show significant increases in happiness.
46) Avoid comparing yourself to others. It’s damaging to self-esteem—focus on your own achievements.
47) Make meaningful goals. Harvard scientists say humans need a sense of purpose to thrive and that people with dreams and aspirations are happier than those without.
48) Embrace spirituality. Research suggests that people who participate in a religious community or explore alternate sets of beliefs are happier and better adjusted in life.
49) Have a good cry when you need it. Allowing yourself to break down completely is cathartic and you’ll feel better after you let it all out.
50) Learn to forgive yourself. Focusing on your past mistakes serves no purpose besides keeping you from moving on.
51) Maintain perspective. When life starts to feel out of control, remind yourself of the positive things in your life and how lucky you are.
52) Define what happiness means for you. Don’t worry about what other people define as happy, find what makes you happy and go for it.

RELATIONSHIPS
53) Stay close to friends and family. Moving far away from networks of support can take a toll on your level of happiness—even if you have moved in order to make more money.
54) Get a dog. The studies showing the positive effects man’s best friend can have on your psyche are numerous: better emotional and physical health and a wagging tail.
55) Give more hugs. Hugging releases the same chemical as massage and is always free!
56) Make time for your friends. Personal connections are so important and making even a little time to be with people who make you smile can keep you happy.
57) Make new friends. Meeting other people is exciting and finding a new person with whom to connect can only enhance your fulfillment.
58) Write thank-you notes. Expressing gratitude makes you and the recipient happy.
59) Call your mom. Or your dad, or your grandma or anyone you haven’t talked to in a while and surprise them with a chat.
60) Get a cat. If you’re not a dog person, cats make wonderful, loving, stress-reducing housemates and bed-warmers.
61) Cuddle up with someone you love. Enjoy time with your kids or your partner for instant happiness.
62) Babysit for a friend. Being around children’s infectious optimism is sure to boost your mood.
63) Hold a baby. They’re cute and cuddly and without a care in the world—you’ll feel instantly uplifted.

ACTIVITIES
64) De-clutter. A clean home is a clean mind, and you’ll feel better in an orderly environment.
65) Donate to charity. Giving to those less fortunate than you will make you appreciate what you have.
66) Rent a comedy. Take an hour and a half out of your day for pure laughing entertainment and you’ll feel instantly boosted.
67) Watch kittehroulette.com. If watching nonstop videos of playful kittens doesn’t lift your spirits, nothing will.
68) Take a nap. A quick power nap, especially on a sunny afternoon, is luxurious and will help you make it through the day.
69) Change one thing in your daily routine. You’ll stave off boredom and might discover something new that delights you.
70) Take a walk. Taking a quick walk, even just around the block can clear your mind and raise your mood.
71) Surround yourself with smells that make you happy. Smell is a much overlooked sense that greatly affects our mood—try a coconut shampoo that reminds you of a vacation or bake cookies that remind you of childhood.
72) Listen to upbeat music. Even just a few minutes of a hip-shaking tune gets your blood flowing and makes you feel more positive.
73) Set your alarm early on a day you know you get to sleep in. When you wake up you’ll get the pleasure of realizing that you don’t have to get out of bed—then rolling over for some more satisfying zzz’s.
74) Paint a room in your house yellow. Looking at the color yellow has been proven to improve moods.
75) Make a home cooked-meal. You’ll get not only tasty food, but the pride of having made it yourself.
76) Dress up for no reason. Putting on clothes that make you feel good increases your self-esteem and your mood.
77) Add some soft blue to your bedroom. Light blue has been shown to be the most calming color and can set the mood for a restful night’s sleep—essential to a positive attitude.
78) Do something you loved as a kid. Riding a roller-coaster or going sledding can help you connect to your inner child and remember simple thrills.
79) Wear red. Red can make us feel confident, powerful and strong.
80) Splash on some perfume/aftershave. Studies show that floral scents can make you happier.
81) Volunteer your time. Selfless acts and helping others is a fast route to genuine contentment.
82) Decorate your home for the holidays. Preparing for holiday celebrations is always fun and a great excuse to invite friends and family over.
83) Take time for yourself. Go to a movie, or a museum or a walk around town by yourself to re-connect.
84) Perform random acts of kindness. Hold open a door for a stranger or leave some money in the vending machine, for no other reason than doing something nice for your fellow man.
85) Send snail-mail. Rediscover the pleasure of old-fashioned communication.
86) Make time to curl up with a good book. It can be either a thought-provoking tome or a guilty pleasure.
87) Invest in fancy bedding. Be cozy and happy drifting to sleep and wake up to a happy morning.
88) Go bowling with friends. Throw back to your younger years, and bonus points for matching shirts.
89) Dance. Alone or at a club, dancing is fun and stress-releasing.
90) Pay off your credit card debt. Debt can be a major source of stress and you’ll feel great when you eliminate it from your life.
91) Clean the house. Even if you don’t like cleaning, a clean home can drastically improve your attitude.
92) Volunteer at a local animal shelter. You’ll get the pleasure of knowing you’re lending your time and brightening the day of some furry friends.
93) Find a hobby. Painting, singing, tai chi—it doesn’t matter as long as you have an outlet to express yourself.
94) Turn off your phone for a day. Let people know in advance that you are taking a personal day and can only be reached in case of emergency. Savor the silence.
95) Sing in the shower. It doesn’t matter what you sing, just make sure you belt it as loud as possible.
96) Stash some money in a secret place so you can discover it later. Pick a spot you’re likely to forget so you get a thrill weeks or months later when you stumble on it.
97) Enjoy a guilty pleasure TV show. Make some popcorn and banish the guilt—we all need a cheesy escape sometimes.
98) Go for a walk or jog in the rain. The high produced by exercise will be heightened by the cool rain on your face.
99) Enjoy a cold beer or chilled wine on a hot day. Need I say more?
100) Go to hear live music. Hearing music live puts you in the moment in a way an iPod can’t.

Happiest Sheep in the World

2011-04-01T15:58:00.002-05:00

So true...

2011-04-01T15:30:00.002-05:00

5 Questions- 04.01.11

2011-04-01T15:23:00.003-05:00

1. Do you collect anything?

Hmmm... Well not anymore really. My boyfriend says I'm a hoarder, but that's just because he's a minimalist who isn't in charge of carrying all the sentimental family items with him for the rest of his life.. I used to have a shot glass collection for every place I had been to but it hit about 50 and.. what do you do with 50 shot glasses? Where do you put them? They take up so much room. I am collecting little mini jars to use at our wedding. My thoughts are that tea lights can go in them for the tables and I think it's symbolic if all the jars come from things we used them for...

2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.

Casey Affleck, Ben's little brother.
Edward Burns. Yum.
Dean Winters. I just got done watching every episode in the Oz Series. It's unavoidable.

3. Do you have any scars? If so, what's the story behind it (them?)?

I have plenty of scars. I have one on my hand that looks like a sugar smack. It's from punching my hand through a window when my brother locked me out of the house during a snow storm (he's a great guy, obviously). I have one on my leg where I had knocked down a china cabinet and it fell on me. I also have one on my belly button and one across my belly from a surgery. Ooh I have one on my big toe where I was moving a crappy broken assemble it yourself desk, and one side disconnected itself. The metal piece that looks like a screw but has a big circle piece at the end where it locks into one of those spinny pieces.. well that metal piece went through my big toe. So nasty.

4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it's gross or weird?

Well my boyfriend says that it's weird that I dip baby carrots into peanut butter. He says you are only supposed to combine peanut butter with celery, not baby carrots. Until I made him try it. It's totally normal tasting and requires no vegetable cutting. Promise.

5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?

No. Haven't really seen any amazing weather.

Famous World Ideologies, as explained by references to Cows

2011-04-01T14:29:00.001-05:00

Famous World Ideologies, as explained by references to Cows

Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
Real World Communism: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most “ability” and who has the most “need”. Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.

Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.
Perestroika: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the “free” market.
Cambodian Communism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
Militarianism: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.
British Democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps’ brains and they go mad. The government doesn’t do anything.
Bureaucracy: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Pure Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
Pure Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Capitalism: You don’t have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don’t have any cows to put up as collateral.
Enviromentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
Political Correctness: You are associated with (the concept of “ownership” is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war mongering, intolerant past) two differently – aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.