How to Sell More Demand Studios T-Shirts

In celebration of Demand Media’s Q4 2011 results, kindly DSS reader Mouse has sent in a brand new T-shirt design!

Demand, according to their statement, said they had a good year.

I’ll leave that to Dick and the other stock experts to mull over.

All I want to know, is if they’re doing so great, how come their stock keeps going into the toilet?

How to Get Wet

Thanks to DSS regular, Suckwad for this tip.

Awesome.

With their Q4 2011 earnings report just around the corner, it’s nice to see that Demand has made all those changes to tightening up their content.

So what exactly is a “Spanish Shower”? Well, all you have to do is Google the term and the first thing that comes up is the Urban Dictionary entry….

How to Make Investors Sad

Oh dear.

What is going on over at Demand Media?

Poor old Demand shares took a hit when they were downgraded by Morgan Stanley.

The once mighty high stock, which IPO’d at $17/share, later on rose to a high of $27/share in just a few month.

Now, here we are, just a little over a year later, and the stock sits at $6/share.

Three top executives left the company in the past few weeks and the earnings call for Q4 2011 is just around the corner.

My oh my.

The sad part about this is that the folks [...]]]>

How to Make Investors Sad

Oh dear.

What is going on over at Demand Media?

Poor old Demand shares took a hit when they were downgraded by Morgan Stanley.

The once mighty high stock, which IPO’d at $17/share, later on rose to a high of $27/share in just a few month.

Now, here we are, just a little over a year later, and the stock sits at $6/share.

Three top executives left the company in the past few weeks and the earnings call for Q4 2011 is just around the corner.

My oh my.

The sad part about this is that the folks responsible for this fiasco cashed in a LONG time ago.

People left holding the bag are the investors who were ready for all this content touched by so many hands.

Word from the inside is that they’re about to start looking at applications for the new eHow Home, eHow Garden, eHow Pets, eHow Tossed Salad, and other sections.

That queue, you know the one they bragged about having 100K titles, has long since been bone dry.

What will we do when there’s no more DMD to kick around any more?

I guess we could always sell the site, considering that the interweb says it’s worth a hefty $27K. AWESOME!

And apparently we’re making over $35/daily in ad revenue. Kick ass!!!

(PS: If you can’t tell, that’s sarcasm. These “what is my website worth?” tools  are all worth – get this – shit. )

How to Toss One's Salad

Hey kids, 

Just got this in the mailbox from old time DSSer DMS IPO. 

Got something to say? Why not drop us a line? 

Well, it’s been two years since eHow announced it was improving quality by identifying and elevating 50 Demand Studios writers to “eHow Premium Homepage Writers.”

http://www.demandstudios.com/blog/announcing-ehow-premium-homepage-writers

So, how did they do?

Of the five articles listed as examples in the announcement, only one remains. Evidently, these “premium” writers couldn’t produce articles that were “evergreen” for even two years.

“How to Kill a Facebook Bot” was removed, even though, according to the DMS announcement, [...]]]>

How to Toss One's Salad

Hey kids, 

Just got this in the mailbox from old time DSSer DMS IPO. 

Got something to say? Why not drop us a line? 

Well, it’s been two years since eHow announced it was improving quality by identifying and elevating 50 Demand Studios writers to “eHow Premium Homepage Writers.”

http://www.demandstudios.com/blog/announcing-ehow-premium-homepage-writers

So, how did they do?

Of the five articles listed as examples in the announcement, only one remains. Evidently, these “premium” writers couldn’t produce articles that were “evergreen” for even two years.

“How to Kill a Facebook Bot” was removed, even though, according to the DMS announcement, “In only one week, it garnered 4 ½ stars with 53 ratings and 37 comments.” Oddly, according to the bio of the writer cited in the DMS announcement, it was written by, “ . . . a self-taught computer expert.” This “self-taught” computer expert was one of only 50 “premium” writers chosen to write these $80 articles!?

When you click on “How to Protect an Aging Body,” you now get, “How to Develop a Workout and Diet Plan,” written by someone with no health and fitness background, who is an attorney, and who “has been writing professionally for less than a year.” (BTW, if you Google, “How to Protect and Aging Body + eHow” you find a site called, eHow World Community – what’s that?)

When you click on, “How to Dress up your Winter Wardrobe,” you are taken to, “How to Reduce Redness in Pimples” written by someone who apparently has no cosmetology background: “XXX is a nonprofit executive. Along with business and grant writing, she has experience writing event scripts and feature articles for local newspapers and magazines.”

According to DMS, writers with no background in the topics they’re covering are the cream of the studio’s crop.

Why should investors believe that Demand can now spot top writers and create quality content when they’ve already tried to create “premium” content and failed — and have kept the managers who oversaw this at the helm of this sinking ship?

The same people who killed Demand are still in positions of editorial authority while the investors get shafted. Time for a shareholders meeting.

Thanks, DMDIPO – great stuff as always.

While we’re on the subject of flashbacks, why not check out this Demand video from a couple of years ago….wow…over 150,000 assignments!!

Wonder if they’ll make this video private, too? 

How to To What I Tell You

Rules of Conduct

Listen up, yo….

The forum is for professionals actively working with Demand Studios Sucks, dumbasses.

While DSS staff will participate in discussions to provide answers and insight, the forum is also a place for you to gather, discuss and help one another how best to squeeze the last few drops out of the dying horse that was Demand Studios.

We trust you to be courteous, but we [...]]]> Hey DSSers – we’ve had some problems in the forums lately, so we’ve had to call on our old buddy Giff Head to straighten things out.

How to To What I Tell You

Rules of Conduct

Listen up, yo….

The forum is for professionals actively working with Demand Studios Sucks, dumbasses.

While DSS staff will participate in discussions to provide answers and insight, the forum is also a place for you to gather, discuss and help one another how best to squeeze the last few drops out of the dying horse that was Demand Studios.

We trust you to be courteous, but we must note that we will not tolerate behavior that is disrespectful of others.

This includes, but is not limited to personal attacks, threats, name-calling, profanity, titty twisting, Indian/Native American sunburns, wedgies (atomic or otherwise), white knuckling, fisting, Cleveland Steamers, Hot Carls, Texas Two Stepping, Taking a Trip to Yellow Falls, Donkey Punching, Mississippi Mudslides, Arkansas Hot ‘Tater Salad, or aggressive and hostile behavior against an individual or group.

MOST OF ALL THAT MEANS NO HACKING!!!

Posts that give out harmful information, such as how to HACK into CYBERNET sites, will not be TOLERATED. Especially malicious code like this!!!!

REM This is the part that hacks into the website
10 Break into website.com
20 GoTo 10

We require you to maintain a professional tone in your interactions with the rest of the forum community as you would in any office setting. That means  HANDS OFF MY SANDWICH and quit making copies of your cooch.

Statements that directly attack your fellow professionals or DSS will be reviewed, graded accordingly, and removed or promoted to the front page, if necessary. Constructive criticism is welcome but hostile or aggressive attacks will not be tolerated. Please note that behavior that violates these rules can result in the loss of your DSS forum permissions and you will be forced to read the Demand Media forums for entertainment.

Post topics in the relevant forum section.  That means READ THE F**KING TITLE OF THE FORUM SECTION, IDIOT. The appropriate section should be easy to identify; if it is not, choose one that you think is the most relevant to the topic. If you still cannot find the appropriate section, start a new one called “I AM A DUMBASS” and post there.

There is a strict ‘no solicitation’ policy in our forum space.  All threads soliciting money for personal use, or with promise of donating those funds, will be removed. Any circumstance where money is to change hands is strictly forbidden in our forums, unless it is for drugs or other nefarious activity not otherwise legal, where it should be posted in the appropriate forum or sent to us directly.

Spam will not be tolerated. This includes posting the same or similar comments in multiple threads over a short period of time. This also includes paying people to write the same article on Tossing Salad about 1,243 different times.

Violation of any of these rules can and will result in the loss of forum permissions.

On top of that, I will personally give you a spanking and, for those female members with a nice rack, a long and excruciatingly drawn out motorboating session and moustache ride.

Thanks to Thanks over in the forums for the heads-up.

Why does Demand make it so easy?

Love to have a PR job there. Must be the easiest gig in the world.

How to Suck More than Demand

Hey there DSSers,

I know some of you out there are trying to look for other places to write, now that the pot of gold that was Demand is starting to dry up, so I thought I’d pass this along from a helpful DSSer.

If you take a gander over there to the left, you’ll see the pay rates for MediaPiston.

That’s right – a whopping $5 for the same amount of writing that Demand pays out $16 or more.

As much as Demand seemed to suck, MediaPiston seems to suck more.

Now, mind you, apparently there are [...]]]>

How to Suck More than Demand

Hey there DSSers,

I know some of you out there are trying to look for other places to write, now that the pot of gold that was Demand is starting to dry up, so I thought I’d pass this along from a helpful DSSer.

If you take a gander over there to the left, you’ll see the pay rates for MediaPiston.

That’s right – a whopping $5 for the same amount of writing that Demand pays out $16 or more.

As much as Demand seemed to suck, MediaPiston seems to suck more.

Now, mind you, apparently there are higher paying assignments available on MediaPiston after you complete one of their quests or whatever they make you do for the honor of writing for them.

Before all you commenters get hot and bothered, let me tell you why a lot of the people on this site are still writing for Demand and all these other shitplaces:

Beer money 

That’s it. They’re not using this money to pay their rent, make sure their electricity isn’t shut off or layaway payments on that three seater stroller down at WalMart.

But this shizzle is just getting ridiculous now.

Oh how I miss the days of the queue full of idiotic articles, all differing from each other by a single word in the title.

So sad.

Anybody here writing for MediaPiston? Care to share your experiences with us?

How it Ends

This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper.

T.S. Eliot, The Hollow Men 

That’s a scary sight right there.

Kind of strange seeing that after over four years of toiling away in the Demand Dungeon.

Now, apparently lots of people are seeing the same thing and, according to Demand staff, it’s due to a “technical glitch”.

The story is that they’re in the midst of moving all the Home & Garden articles into the separate Home and Garden sections.

But we all know better, don’t we?

Apparently Tech Beta is still going pretty strong. Well, relatively strong, [...]]]>

How it Ends

This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

T.S. Eliot,
The Hollow Men 

That’s a scary sight right there.

Kind of strange seeing that after over four years of toiling away in the Demand Dungeon.

Now, apparently lots of people are seeing the same thing and, according to Demand staff, it’s due to a “technical glitch”.

The story is that they’re in the midst of moving all the Home & Garden articles into the separate Home and Garden sections.

But we all know better, don’t we?

Apparently Tech Beta is still going pretty strong. Well, relatively strong, going by the standards of the other sections. One poster in the forum mentioned that this is the same thing that happened to Livestrong.

The Demand staff is busy processing applications for the new sections, so they say, and they plan to start opening up the queues soon.

So they say.

How about it DSSers? What are your thoughts/