Celebrity Gossip by Derek Hail

This is creepy

gtrancenet — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:05:21 +0000

It was Bindi Irwin’s birthday so obviously the perfect gift would be a giant cake adorned with an image of her dead father. Thanks Mom! Not only did you and dad’s genes make me look like a Chinese Orangutan, but now I’m going to gently weep while I eat my delicious cake. I love you!

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Elisabetta Canalis is in a movie

gtrancenet — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:55:29 +0000

Elisabetta Canalis is an Italian model and TV presenter and apparently she’s in movies. She must be up for an award because we all know that the big stars always appear in skimpy bathing suits. I don’t know where I was going with this. I’ll just let you look at the pictures because let’s face it, you’ve probably skipped right over this shit, and if you didn’t then you’ve learned a valuable lesson. Reading is for chumps.

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Wanna see Brooke Hogan Naked?

gtrancenet — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:25:18 +0000

Brooke Hogan has been contacted by Playboy about appearing nude.

Brooke Hogan has been approached to pose nude for the famous men’s magazine, her publicist told the Daily News on Wednesday. And she didn’t say no.

The “Brooke Hogan Knows Best” star, 20, could use a boost for her stagnant singing career. Hogan’s 2006 album “Undiscovered” reportedly sold just 127,000 copies.

How many people really want to see this guy naked? Brooke’s arms are bigger than my thighs. She looks like she shotputs midgets on a daily basis. Seriously Hef, go after someone like Rachel Bilson or Marisa Miller, not this sloth with implants.

The Morning Quicky

gtrancenet — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:52:16 +0000

Sophie Monk failed

gtrancenet — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 13:04:09 +0000

I like Sophie Monk but her attempt to be sexy has failed here, mostly because you can see her hairy bush through her saggy bikini bottoms. Or at least I think you can. I wouldn’t know what one looks like, most of the women I date have grooming habits that aren’t from the 1800’s.

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Joanna Krupa is kinda hot

gtrancenet — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:50:49 +0000

Joanna Krupa walked down the runway at a Miami Bikini Fashion Show last night and shamed all the other models that were in the show. In a completely unrelated story, several ugly chicks got laid last night after standing outside the fashion show and waiting for the guys inside to come out. One ugly chick was quoted as saying “After Joanna warmed them up, it was like shooting fish in a barrel.” Another heffer chimed in with “There hasn’t been this much action since the Bud Lite Party Cruise in ‘05″.

Where’s the ass Audrina?

gtrancenet — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:42:54 +0000

So the updating has been pretty sporadic lately, mostly because I’m irresponsable and lazy. It’s unforgivable, I know but I’ll try to make it up with you people with a load of new bikini pictures today. I can’t however show you any with Audrina Patridge’s ass. I think it’s because it was stolen and replaced with a generic “White Girl Ass”. There will be an investigation, don’t you worry.

Ashley Dupree is a hot hooker

gtrancenet — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:34:32 +0000

Now, I’ve never been with a prostitute but I would imagine that Ashley Dupree has got to be one of the hottest. When I think of whores, I think of crack infested, chain smoking, 3 kid having skanks. They look nothing like this in a bikini. So the question arises, where are all the hot hookers? Vegas? New York? Miami? Let the hunt begin! Let’s have a whore off.

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Danielle Lloyd is well rested

gtrancenet — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:27:02 +0000

If you’re wondering why Danielle Lloyd is on vacation then apparently you don’t realize how hard she works. It’s tough going out to all the clubs and red carpet events all week. Going to the gym 3 times a week isn’t easy. Danielle Lloyd has to be exhausted partying her ass off and pounding soccer players so of course she needs to lay out at the pool and relax. She’s got to be well rested when she begins her porn career in a few years.

Rosario Dawson shows us the goods

gtrancenet — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:20:44 +0000

Who knew Rosario Dawson was this stacked? She’s never been one of the “hot” Hollywood stars and maybe she needs to drop a few pounds but those things are good. On a side note, I hate it when fatties wear push up bras and try to accentuate their breasts to attract men. Listen Chunks, we know those are fat tits, you’re not fooling anyone.