Designs On You

Tracy Anderson is a sadist, but life must go on.

2013-07-08T11:58:00.000-05:00

I tried doing Tracy Anderson's "Metamorphosis" workout this morning. I made it through 15 minutes of the cardio section and about five minutes of the muscle toning. Holy hell, that woman is a sadist.

I've made myself a new schedule to follow, intended to up my productivity in the realms of personal health, art, and general quality of living. I came up with this new schedule because my summer break is halfway over and all I've done is work too much, injure my back, gain weight, and INDULGE. This needs to change, because I don't feel proud of myself. You can't be proud of yourself if you're not accomplishing anything (well, you can, but you shouldn't).

Here's the plan:

9:00 a.m.: Wake up, have my morning coffee, ease into the day
10:00 a.m.: Work out
11:30 a.m.: Prepare for the move I have coming up at the end of this month, by sorting and packing my piles upon piles of accumulated crap
2:00 p.m.: Accomplish one big task per day off my "Stop Procrastinating" to-do list, grocery shop, run errands, eat lunch, do what needs to get done
4:00 p.m.: Go into my studio and work on my art, whether I'm feeling inspired or not. SOMETIMES ACTION MUST PRECEDE MOTIVATION. That's my forever mantra that I've been neglecting to say it to myself lately.
7:00 p.m.: I'm free until sleep comes!

Sounds solid, right? I'll only be working Sundays at the cafe from now on, so if I can stick to this schedule Monday through Friday, I should have a very productive and pride-inducing six weeks before school starts again. Then, before I know it, it'll be December and I'll be graduating and I get to go back to being a regular old adult again, which I'm pretty stoked about. After five years in DeKalb, I'm ready to move on. Perhaps to Austin, Texas...

"Apparently, he was my very best friend. We spent wild summer days wishin' they would never end."

2012-09-24T17:22:00.000-05:00

About a month ago I started working weekends at The House Cafe, an awesome cafe/venue I've mentioned numerous times in previous posts. I've never worked in food service before, and the whole experience leaves me drained by the time my shift is over. Despite that, I'm having a great time working there - serving coffee, food, and beer while I get to hear free music, poetry, and stand-up comedy. Hellz yeah.

When I was working last Saturday night, I found out that one of my favorite singer-songwriters, Ted Leo, is going to be playing there on November 18th. I'm so excited to hear him play and get the opportunity to meet him. Ted Leo's song "Timorous Me" was on the first mix CD I ever received, and although that was 11 years ago, I still listen to that mix on a regular basis. Aside from being the first mix CD I was ever gifted, it was also the best. The two-disc set was entitled "160 Minutes of Good Shit" and the guy who gave it to me told me that single disc mixes were "for pussies."

The credit for that amazing mix (and the vulgar quote, which was funny only because we both new he was capable of phrasing things in far more eloquent terms) goes to MisterFlak. He was the first person I met who was as obsessed with music as I was. We both loved listening to music, and used it as a way to communicate a sincerity that our pleasantly loud social personae rarely afforded us. Over the next 10 years we spent countless hours creating, writing, and laughing together. As the story goes, life and love and the cowardliness they breed got in the way, and things are not the same as they used to be. But it's okay, and so are we.

"There was an awkward pause, and something that should’ve began just passed us by."

Kids' Stuff

2012-09-14T02:34:00.002-05:00

When I was 8 years old, these were my lifelong goals: have a "greatest hits" album and be a famous artist. At the time, I was listening to a lot of Frankie Valli (received from Santa, as requested) and Mary Cassatt was my favorite artist. I dreamed of living in France and Whitney Houston was teaching me to sing via her self-titled album. I wrote my first song, "Baby Blue," and recorded it over and over again, labeling each tape "Nikki Rice's Greatest Hits."

A few years later, I discovered Dr. Demento and decided being a radio host wouldn't be so bad, nor would being an author. I was still into the fame game, but maturing, and I was already beginning to understand the difference between high art and low art. The low was much more appealing to me. I understood the concept of sex far too well, and I read a lot of Judy Blume. I recorded obscene radio shows with my closest friends and wondered why all the boys were calling them and not me. I was in love with writing on my typewriter, which I found to be much more sincere than writing on my computer.

From there I got into making radio shows, watching Beavis & Butthead, and cracking obscene jokes in the company of my closest friends... jokes no one but me fully understood. I loved watching game shows and playing Gin with my grandma. I discovered Alanis Morissette and Pearl Jam, but listened to Weird Al just as much. When I was slightly older, I became obsessed with showing all of my friends my two favorite movies - it was like a rite of passage I inflicted upon all of them - Teen Witch and Welcome to the Dollhouse. If you got those movies, you got me.

And then I found Erykah Badu, and she changed my life. I started singing soul and wearing ankhs. I believed that if I was nice to others, good things would come to me. I asked for a Bible and a cross necklace for Christmas and I got them both. I wore the cross (made of real gold and diamonds) only once or twice, but read my Bible every night. I ended up skimming over a lot, and it just didn't make sense to me as anything more than a moral tale that was 100's of pages too long.

I wanted to live in Vegas. It was my favorite place in the whole world and I talked about it with anyone who would listen. I knew Fremont Street before it was an "experience" and I was so familiar with the city that my parents let me take a cab around town, unaccompanied, starting at the age of 12. I felt like that town "got me," and when I came home I was pompous and self-absorbed and insecure as fuuuuck. I was the last person I knew to get their first kiss, and I stopped competing for top grades because I knew I could never be the best (therefore, why be anything?). I tried out for a choir solo and got it. It was the greatest accomplishment of my life, up until that point in time.

Then I became depressed, went to therapy, went on medication, and met a boy. The rest is history.

Resolutions for the New Year

2012-08-13T14:12:00.000-05:00

Seven days until 30. Seven days until 30. Seven days until 30.

I'm both dreading my upcoming milestone birthday and happily anticipating it. As a rock star from way back, my last milestone birthday was my 27th, at which point I had a "Dead at 27" get-together to celebrate the fact that years of unrelenting partying had not yet killed me, and I promised myself that I would be nicer to my body and mind from there on out. For the most part, I've kept that promise. Let's just say there have been way more mornings-after hangovers than apologies since then. Phew.

"Dead at 27" Rockstar Party (2009)

My 25th birthday allowed me not only cheaper car insurance, but more opportunity for college financial aid. It took me a year to act on that before returning to school, but in the meantime I found a cognitive behavioral therapist and prepared myself to be a happier, more productive person. By the time I signed up for classes at my community college, I was ready to commit. And now I'm only two semesters away from getting a degree (in a subject I love, no less).

The point I'm getting to with these cheesy-hopeful anecdotes is that I generally think of birthdays as personal New Years, involving much reflection and major resolutions, and despite hiccups along the way, this association seems to work to my advantage. Allow me to indulge in a now-typical, upper-middle class American way of assessing my decades in terms of "self":

On a road trip with my friend Nicki when I was 25 (2007)

My teens were about learning how society outside my family unit worked, and dealing with the conflicts that those first independent interpersonal relationships bring. They were about being the center of my own universe, and thinking that everything happening around me was happening to me. They were about setting impossible goals and dealing with the inevitable disappointment that comes when you learn that perfection is unattainable.

My early twenties were about giving up completely and losing control. They were about total self-indulgence and fighting to be someone who I was not. Luckily, they soon started being about exploring my self, my interests, my motivations, and my true sources of happiness. They were about learning to maintain good relationships and end bad ones. Most recently, they've been about self-awareness and commitment to living my own life to its fullest potential.

At a printmaking show I was in last fall, age 29 (2011)

And what do I expect my 30s to be about? What do I want to focus on?

Fighting self-doubt. Feeling good about who I am in the present, even as I seek to improve that person. Saying no when I mean it, rather than giving someone that cowardly "maybe" when I know that's not the truth. Living by example and practicing what I preach. Taking risks where they're most needed - in my art and in love and in support of my principles.

The way to reach these goals, of course, is to break them down into manageable mini-goals, which I already have in mind. I will, however, wait to elaborate on these in another post, as this has been a lengthy enough soapbox stand already. Cheers.

I miss THIS.

2012-08-07T13:21:00.002-05:00

Since I've last written, I moved out of the apartment I was sharing with Sarah and into a new one with another roomie who ended up leaving halfway through the lease. And, luckily for me, Sarah moved into this new place with me a couple weeks ago. Due to this shifting of space and roommates, a lot of reorganization has been needed on my part. So, I have spent many hours sorting through scattered masses of notes, diaries, travel journals, and other random scrawlings. This, of course, led to countless hours of procrastination in between, during which I decided to reread many of my online blog entries from the past couple of years. Spending so much time reviewing this blog (and all the writings that could have been a part of it) has made me realize something: I miss personal blogging. A LOT.

Why did I quit?

I suppose because I've been trying to turn my online efforts toward more professionally productive avenues, such as building my artist's website (nriceart.com) and a Tumblr account (nriceart.tumblr.com) to go with it. There were business cards to be made, artworks to be photographed, and even a QR code to be created that needed to lead my contacts to a self-made mobile site. With all of this artistic ammunition in hand, I attended my first SGC printmaking conference in New Orleans.

"It's For The Best" Litho by N.Rice (2012)

But that conference took place in March, and since then, outside of creating some awesome new prints, I was just doing a lot of Facebooking. (I also traveled to Amsterdam, started working on music with a new band, and dealt with all sorts of man-drama in my personal life... all quite noteworthy ways to spend one's time, but those stories are for another day.)

And so I'm back!! I'm turning 30 in 13 days, am about to start my LAST year of art school (yes, I will actually have a degree soon, and after only 12 years of on-again-off-again college attendance), and I'm not about to miss out on documenting the achievements and horrors that are sure to befall me over the next year. Riding on the cusp of thirty has me doing all sorts of reflecting, analyzing, obsessing, and promising myself changes in lifestyle and thought patterns. I need to share it all somewhere, or my life may as well be a tree falling in the forest, with no one to hear it.

So, can we take the next hour and talk about me?

My Favorite Quotes in 2011

2012-01-16T14:40:00.000-06:00

"Truth is, I've always been thirsty." - Edward Bloom, Big Fish

"We're done with you. Go back to the golf course and work on your putz." - Dark Helmet, Spaceballs

"Madness need not be all breakdown. It may also be break-through. It is potential liberation and renewal as well as enslavement and existential death." - R. D. Laing

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." - Mel Brooks

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering." - Paulo Coelho

"Whatever I did, I did without rules of other people. I did it because I wanted to do it." - Herb Vogel

"Maybe if I hadn't of seen so much hard feelings, I might not could have felt other people's." - Woody Guthrie (from "Another Man's Done Gone")

“Fate loves the fearless.” - James Russell Lowell

My Favorite Quotes in 2010

2011-01-02T14:33:00.000-06:00

"Live very week like it's Shark Week." - Tracy Jordan (30 Rock)

“Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"I shall no doubt find pleasure in examining the etchings which you hold out as an inducement to call." - from The Erie Train Boy by Horatio Alger, Jr.

"To put it bluntly, American political opportunities are heavily loaded against those who are simultaneously intelligent and honest." - Richard Dawkins

"I saw a beggar leaning on his wooden crutch, he said to me, 'you must not ask for so much.' And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door, she cried to me, 'Hey, why not ask for more?'" - Leonard Cohen ("Bird On The Wire")

"The hours that make us happy make us wise." - John Mansfield

"It has been said that art is a tryst, for in the joy of it maker and beholder meet." - Kojiro Tomita

"I pray to be like the ocean, with soft currents, maybe waves at times. More and more, I want the consistency rather than the highs and the lows." - Drew Barrymore

“Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” - Dennis Wholey

"Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love." - Wally Lamb

"My version of falling in love is borderline psychotic. Should be avoided at all costs. Get obsessed. Can't fall in love and function at the same time. All-consuming. Tunnel vision. Euphoric." - Graham Norton

And now, a word against bitterness...

2010-11-25T02:20:00.000-06:00

When I was a young lass, I asked one of my guy friends if he thought I was pretty. He said, "you'd be pretty if you lost some weight."

Sometime later that year, I wrote a love letter to another boy I was friends with, and delivered it to him in person. Then, we just continued hanging out, both pretending that he hadn't read it.

The next year, my boyfriend at the time was having a bad night at work, so I brought him what I thought was his favorite kind of ice cream. He looked at my surprise gift and said, "I like chocolate chip, not cookie dough."

During my senior year, I invited a boy I liked to a party. He showed up then made out with two of my best friends.

When I was a little older, I briefly dated a man who refused to be my boyfriend because he "didn't want to be in a relationship." A few days after I tried to get him to commit, he came to my band's show and introduced everyone to his new girlfriend. Needless to say, it was not me.

Then there were the times I actually fell in love with them, but never them with me. Those were the worst... like the one who told me he was attracted to me and that I was his best friend, but that he couldn't date me. Or the one who made me cry when I told him I wouldn't be kissing him again until he admitted he had feelings for me. Or the one who told me that hanging around with me fulfilled him in the same way a girlfriend would, so now he would just have to find someone to have sex with.

But I'M NOT BITTER - and I'm so sick of meeting people who are! Get over it and allow yourself a little happiness. The walls you put up make you so boring - don't you know that? Share a little, love a little, and stop being a selfish, miserable prick who leaves a trail of pretty little crushed hearts everywhere you go. Life is about openness - to people, to experiences, to love.

Some advice for all you bitter bastards out there:

Learn to take a compliment
When you see someone you know, say hi to them
Smile, for fuck's sake
If you get someone's number, call them
At least pretend to like yourself
Learn to trust, and share
Accept a little blame, then move on
Or go become a stand-up comedian and put your self-hatred to good use

Happy Thanksgiving! If I love you, you know it, and you may consider this blog entry a toast to the immense amount of joy you contribute to this world. Cheers!

Things That Make Me Happy

2010-10-18T00:57:00.000-05:00

I had a damn good weekend. I spent lots of time with good friends, new friends, old friends, family... and after my stressful week of mid-terms, this was just what I needed. I was going to blog all about this weekend's events, as they were all pretty fantastic, but instead I'm going to share something I found the other day (and just in the nick of time, I might add). I found a list I made on February 8, 2010, of 33 things that make me happy.

I wrote it one day at Alexandra's house, after a rough couple months of boy problems and depression. At that time, I felt like I had been overlooking all the good things in life; I needed to remind myself that there were plenty of reasons to smile. It hung on my fridge at my old house, and now it's hanging on the fridge at my new house, right where it belongs. Here it is, uncensored:

music
coffee
sunshine
stretching
exercise
breakfast
Weight Watchers
bike riding
reading
cleaning
clean clothes
Sunday phone calls/emails
doing my hair & make-up
matching underwear
sex
parties (especially theme parties)
dressing up
drawing
singing
practicing instruments
watching movies
dinner with friends
museums
swimming
painting nails/toenails
going to the movies
Chicago
crafting
kids
car coffee
massages
painting
dancing
showering
going out for coffee
poetry

What makes you happy?

"Target Women"

2010-10-13T22:04:00.000-05:00

Once again, some random internet surfing has led me to a very fun little corner of the web that I never knew existed. In this case, that fun little corner is "Target Women with Sarah Haskins." Its a segment from a satirical news show called infoMania, which can be found on CurrentTV (or YouTube, where I discovered it). "Target Women" delivers a hilarious take on current feminist issues involving the ludicrous, female-targeted ads and other media we're bombarded with on a daily basis.

I've been watching episode after episode of these 3 minute shows and laughing my ass off! I've posted two of my favorites below - the first is about birth control, and the second is about yogurt. "Target Women" covers a wide array of topics... :)

I always appreciate when a social cause that I'm so passionate about, like feminism, is portrayed in such a way as to make me think AND laugh.

Facebook Killed the Class Reunion

2010-10-10T11:49:00.000-05:00

I read a great blog post yesterday at The Good Badger about the ways that social media if effecting our face-to-face social circles. I found it most interesting because I recently experienced an in-person event that was TOTALLY effected by Facebook - my 10-year high school reunion. I posted a comment on the entry and decided to share it here, as well:

"Last weekend I attended my 10-year high school reunion, and the experience was completely different for me than it was for my brother, who had his 10-year reunion back in 1997-ish. Why? Because his occurred pre-Facebook.

"Thanks to Facebook, I already know what most of my classmates are doing, where they are living, and if they are married/have children - even the ones I haven’t seen since the day we graduated. Apparently, so did everyone else, because only about 25% of our class showed up, and our small talk seemed dishearteningly redundant. Social media has practically eliminated the need for a class reunion. This might seem like an insignificant change, but it’s representative of something much larger.

"Don’t you love being part of a generation who has experienced life on both sides of the internet invent? I truly do."

My reason for re-posting is that I am totally fascinated by technology, and I get a rise out of seeing the change it creates, especially when it's played out in real time, right before my eyes. Granted, there is nothing comparable to seeing a friend in person, and I had a wonderful time catching up with old friends at the reunion - Cindy, Staci, Christine, Steve, Jake, Allison, Lindsey, it was wonderful to chat with you all after so many years. But things definitely would have been different without Facebook in our lives. All but one of the aforementioned people is on my "Friends" list, and we could communicate on a daily basis if we were so inclined. Just a few years ago, that would not have been possible.

My family got hooked up to the World Wide Web when I was 12, I think, in about 1994. It was slow, clunky, restricted, and absolutely magical. eWorld was where it was at! I know me and my online boyfriend certainly thought so. ;)

How has your life changed since the invent of the internet? What was the first service you used? How has the connectivity of social networking sites effected your real-life interactions?

One more tech-related note before I go... did you know that cars can drive themselves these days? So cool.

Juicy Hilarity

2010-10-09T12:00:00.001-05:00

Since joining 20SB a couple days ago, I've found so many amazingly witty blogs. My favorites have been the ones by single, smart-ass women who are navigating the dating world and allowing us to read all about it. I wish, wish, wish that my blog could be half as juicy as some of the others I've stumbled across, but, alas, it cannot. Why? Because I posted a link to it on my Facebook months ago, which has been clicked by way too many family members.

I love my family dearly, and I'm happy that they're interested in my life, but I DO NOT feel comfortable ranting about the details of my love life (or lack thereof, as it currently stands) or any other debauchery that a single 20-something college girl may or may not encounter. Who am I to kiss and tell, anyway? (That's what the diary next to my bed is for.)

Since I'm not giving you the juice, check out these other bloggers who are...

... then come back to me to hear about my travel adventures, movie-watching binges, band hi-jinks, art student interests, and overall thoughts on being a woman-child trying to break into adulthood without sucking the fun out of her life.

As juicy as it's going to get... a panel (introducing yours truly) from my friend Alexandra's graphic novel "Adventures Close To Home." (Note: You need to login to Facebook to use this link.)

Also, I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have read and commented on my blog in the last few days. It's a wonderful feeling to know that people are reading what I'm writing, and taking the time to let me know that they are. Thank you, thank you, thank you! After perusing so many of your blogs, I am thinking about organizing my blog a bit, and possibly gearing posts toward specific topics on different days of the week. Any thoughts, ideas, or advice?

Jump in on my first blog hop!

2010-10-06T13:22:00.001-05:00

Today I am participating in my first "blog hop!" Fantasy Casting is hosting the "Hump Day Blog Hop" to compile a list of good reading, plain and simple. There are no restrictions on topics, and it's meant to promote readership and introduce some random bloggers to each other. Check out Fantasy Casting's post all about it, and join in. :)

6 Movies in 2 Days

2010-10-05T23:57:00.000-05:00

I have two rooms in the flat that I share with my roommate, Sarah. One is my bedroom, and the other is my art-music-media room, which I recently cleaned and rearranged. Since it houses my overwhelmingly large VHS collection, I created a cozy little video-watching area that's getting a lot of use. I've seen five movies since yesterday afternoon - while doing other productive things. I swear.

Half Baked

It always makes me giggle.

Se7en

Brilliant story, brilliant acting. "What's in the box?!"

Milk

It was my first time seeing this one, and I loved it; a funny, inspirational true story that had me emotionally invested to the extreme. It even made me cry a little, which is tough for a movie to do. I highly recommend this to anyone who's interested in political activism, gay rights, contemporary history, and/or emotional biopics.

Office Space

I watched this one twice in a row. Seriously.

Friday the 13th

Slasher classic.

...and I'm currently watching a 6th: The Squeeze, on VHS. It was still in it's original shrink wrap, which was pretty exciting to tear open. The cover sold me, with its classically corny 80s style and a tagline promising a "comedy thriller," starring Michael Keaton, no less. Unfortunately, I'm 10 minutes into watching it and can already tell it's not going to be as fantastically bad as I expected; it's going to be "mediocre bad," which is the worst.

Frances Whitehead Lecture Summary

2010-10-05T13:00:00.002-05:00

I recently attended a fascinating lecture at my school (see: "Where is my mind?"). Since I didn't go into much detail in that entry, below is a summary of the lecture that I wrote for one of my art history classes. I added plenty of links for your surfing pleasure, and found a couple video excerpts from the actual lecture on YouTube, which I've included at the bottom of this post.

Frances Whitehead
Climate Change: Culture Change

      On September 13, 2010, “designist” Frances Whitehead visited Northern Illinois University to speak about sustainability and the various cross-disciplinary projects in which she is involved. She gave a very informative and inspiring lecture on the importance of artists collaborating with people in different fields, specifically in the struggle to improve our environment and increase clean food and water sources. She began her artistic career as a sculptor, who often looked to the aforementioned problems for inspiration in her work. She soon realized, however, that she was only talking about the struggles themselves, and not the possible solutions to them. It was at this point that she changed direction and decided that she wanted her projects to take on a larger scale, while contributing a more pro-active (rather than reactive) response to the same issues.
      Whitehead moved into the realm of city planning, working with government officials in the City of Chicago. With her input, they developed a four pillar “Model of Sustainability” that includes cultural vitality, social equity, environmental responsibility, and economic health. She began identifying as a “designist,” a combination artist-designer, who believes that good design can improve the world around her. Working off this four pillared model, Whitehead and her cross-disciplinary colleagues have combined science, art, and government to come up with solutions to Chicago's (and other cities') pollution problems; they are currently working at planting beautiful, fruit-bearing, and fragrant plants on the sites of abandoned gas stations within the city. The plants will not only beautify the land and provide fresh food to residents, but will also clean the pollutants in the soil, renewing its richness (in a process called phytoremediation). Whitehead has spearheaded many other cross-disciplinary projects, as well, including The Greenhouse Chicago, the Embedded Artists Project, and K Lab.
      She ended her lecture by discussing ways that artists can become more involved in their communities, and giving tips on how to contact city officials and scientists with whom they may join forces. She explained that she often asks the question “what do artists know?” and the answer is that they know beauty, design, creativity, and culture, which are all very important items to be taken into consideration when solving sustainability issues in the world.

If you'd like to read more about Whitehead, check out this entry from the Art: 21 Blog.

20 Something Bloggers

2010-10-04T21:08:00.000-05:00

I just joined a blog networking site called 20 Something Bloggers, and have been tooling around on it for hours. I love it!

So far, I've gotten tons of possible post ideas, learned what a "blog hop" is, become addicted to the juicy rantings found in Mommy Has A Headache, and opened more Firefox tabs than I ever thought possible.

Check out my profile on 20SB, then join up, fellow bloggers and blog enthusiasts.

Is that all there is?

2010-09-24T13:13:00.001-05:00

My mantra song for the weekend:

"Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
If that's all there is, my friends,
then let's keep dancing!
Let's break out the booze
and have a ball!
If that's all there is..."

Peggy Lee is fantastic, but one should also check out Firewater's amazing cover of this song.

Let's have a quickie!

2010-09-22T15:14:00.000-05:00

My first class was canceled, so I'm killing time in the computer lab. I was going to post all about my recent trip to the MCA with Chryssa, and highlight some of the phenomenal artists we saw, but I don't have time right now. I do have time, however, to list what I got in the gift shop: a set of glass plates that look like a paper plates, a few little presents for some of my loved ones, and a magnificent book about my favorite performance artist, Marina Abramovic. I'm most excited about reading the Abramovic book, which comes with an audio guide narrated by the artist herself. Looooove. Oh, yeah, I bought a membership to the museum, as well. That means a whole year's worth of art-tastic fun.

I have printmaking class in about 15 minutes, and it's woodcut critique day. Ugh. My woodcut came out terrible, in my opinion. It was a passionless project for me. Sometimes when you struggle with a piece, it becomes your favorite, your pet, a challenge to be conquered with pride; other times, you just want to chuck it in the garbage can, out of pure hatred and frustration. Unfortunately for this woodcut, it fell into the latter of those two categories.

Cheers, all. My band is playing a show next Wednesday at The House. Y'all should come and drink and dance and laugh with me. It's gonna be a time. Here's the link to the event information.

Where is my mind?

2010-09-13T21:48:00.000-05:00

School was a fucking disaster today.

I got up early this morning to finish a design for the woodcut we are working on in my printmaking class. I worked on it for HOURS, looked at about 10 books for references, and made countless drawings of ugly, ugly crap. I left my house to go to school, and realized I was going to be late for my first class, so I went to The House to analyze my "finished" design a bit more. My short analysis, which was abbreviated by the only relaxing part of my day - a cup of coffee with Chryssa - proved that the drawing was not something I felt comfortable turning in, let alone printing. Assignment or not, I see no point in producing work that I don't personally love.

I went to Printmaking and worked on it some more, then finally gave up, deciding that it will be an at-home project that will be finished this week/weekend. I spent so much time over-thinking my original design that I just need to start over. Not cool, but I'm giving myself a second chance at making this project worthwhile.

After the stress of Printmaking, I went to my Science & Art class and realized, at the sound of the buzzer, that I had completely forgotten to do the weekly homework assignment, which left me with next to nothing to say during our discussion time. Luckily, there was a very interesting lecture at the art school tonight that pulled us out of class early. Frances Whitehead came to talk about her various projects that mix the science of sustainability with art and design. It made for some fascinating and inspiring cross-disciplinary stuff. I'll be writing a summary of the lecture for one of my classes, so I'll try to remember to post that here.

I'm home now, and probably going to go back to The House to see some live music. That usually cheers me up. Then I think I need to go buy a fucking day planner, because my mind is stretched to its limits these days.

Also, it seems that I'm terrified of talking to people that I find attractive. When did this happen? Am I just having an off-week or have I officially become a coward??? Why, oh why, do I over-think EVERYTHING? I haven't used my gut instinct in so long that I think it's broken. Any advice?

"Designs On You" has a Facebook page now.

2010-09-08T11:37:00.000-05:00

I just created a Facebook page for this blog. Please visit it, click "Like," and share it with your friends.

Liking "Designs On You" via Facebook is a simple way to get updates about new posts, and an easy alternative for those who don't use RSS feeds. I'm also hoping that the Facebook availability will encourage people to leave comments about what they're reading here. Don't be shy! Talk to me. :)

Vote for RAINN!

2010-09-08T10:53:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite non-profits, RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), is in the running to receive $250,000 from Pepsi's Refresh Project. The money will help to widen the support they give to those in need of their services:

"RAINN operates the award-winning National Sexual Assault Hotlines and leads national efforts to educate the public and prevent sexual violence. Since 1994, RAINN has helped more than 1.4 million victims take the first step towards recovery, providing free support 24/7."

Vote now, vote often! You can vote everyday through September 30th, so make it a part of your morning routine. Good luck, RAINN!

Love Your Fellow Artists

2010-09-07T15:03:00.001-05:00

Chryssa and I were having a discussion last night about how important it is, as art students, to stay involved in the local art community and to form good relationships with your fellow artists and colleagues. Many of us who make art were raised on the myth of the "genius artist," a man whose greatness was born into him, a natural talent, who works alone, whose work is so profound that it speaks for itself, insisting that this man be "discovered" and immediately promoted to elite status in his society. In reality, 99 percent of the time, this just ain't the way things work. In order for most artists to find success and carve out a comfortable spot in the vast art world that surrounds them, they need to work together; community is of the essence.

Too many times at school, especially in my studio classes, I witness classmates being too shy or closed off to ask an opinion of someone working next to them. I see them defensively arguing over their pieces during critiques, or cutting down the work of others, in terribly nonconstructive ways. They skip most of the gallery shows in town, only gracing the ones that are presented by their friends. All this behavior makes me wonder one thing - why are they art students? I mean, a major or minor in Studio Art doesn't seem like a choice one would "default" to.

I'm not saying that I've got this all under control, but I know where I strive to be within my community, and I know that I expect my success as an artist and art historian to come with support from others. I know that I want to go to as many local gallery openings as possible this year, and that I'd like to widen my circle of artist friends. I enjoy discussing my work and the work of others as much as possible, and find the opinions of my friends and classmates to be invaluable; I always leave artistically focused conversations feeling like I've learned something new.

And next Friday, I plan to buy a membership to the MCA in Chicago. I would like to plan monthly/bi-monthy trips there, and I'd love it if others would join me. Chryssa and I are going together next week, to buy the memberships, and after that I plan on making event announcements to see if others would like to join. We can take the train, or carpool, check out the museum, then, afterward, talk about the work we've just seen. Doesn't that sound great? If not, that's okay, just don't rain on my parade.

The exhibit I'm most excited about seeing is called "Works on Paper" from the MCA Collection (running until October 3, 2010). It features work by several artists, including some by a most interesting character - Henry Darger. My last roommate introduced me to Darger's work, and I have since fallen in love with it, as well as with the story of his life. There is a wonderful documentary about him, called In the Realms of the Unreal, which I highly recommend.

Art on, brothers and sisters.

Oh, the horror!

2010-09-04T14:14:00.000-05:00

Over the last week, the temperature in my part of Illinois has dropped from 90° to 60°... basically, Illinois warp sped from summer to fall, seemingly overnight. Every year, as the weather starts to get chilly, I get a hankerin' for some good ol' fashioned horror movies. I began the cinematic descent into blood, demonic possessions, deep psychoses, and deranged villains last night, by re-watching The Shining for the umpteenth time. I'm not a big Kubrick fan, but I adore The Shining. I saw it for the first time when I was 13 or 14, and at 28, it still manages to give me the chills.

Here's the beautiful and terrifying original trailer:

And, just for fun, a romantic-comedy re-cut someone did with scenes from The Shining. Hilarious!

The next movies I plan on re-watching are Rosemary's Baby and The Omen, two more of my favorite horror classics. Did you know that The Omen includes one of Hollywood's first, and, arguably, BEST, decapitation scenes? I have long been toying with the idea of making a VHS "Decap Comp" of all my favorite movie decapitation scenes, and this one from the original Omen would definitely open up the tape:

I have a list of some of my other favorites, and if there are any that you'd recommend, please leave them in a comment below. I'd also like to know what your favorite horror movies are, so I can add some more must-sees to my watch list. Some of mine, in addition to the few already mentioned, include: Dead Snow, Cabin Fever, 28 Days Later (I love you, Danny Boyle!), House of 1000 Corpses, The Good Son, Jaws, The Exorcist, Carrie, and Teeth (don't trust the shitty trailer - trust me). And the next horror release I'm really looking forward to is Hobo with a Shotgun (see the teaser trailer at the bottom of this entry). I found the link to this through a blog I just discovered this morning - Greatest Movie Deaths of All Time. Total Google score!

Happy horror-ing, guys and gals. I finally have a working internet connection again so I should be blogging more frequently. Subscribe. Stay in touch.

First! Episode 2

2010-08-19T14:45:00.000-05:00

More firsts of 2010! Some recently recalled, some recently happened...

first time at the Atlantic Ocean, and Myrtle Beach (March 2010)
first show with Wienerslav (April 8, 2010)
first time intentionally eating seafood (Friday, the 13th of August, 2010)

UPDATE! (...which is not as cool as an "UPGRADE!")

2010-08-19T14:02:00.000-05:00

I have officially moved into my new house in DeKalb, with my new awesome roommate, Sarah B. I'm still not completely unpacked; it's a huge task, considering the ridiculous amount of trinkets that I own. 472+ VHS tapes, 300+ owls, and who-knows-how-many books later, and the unloading is coming along slowly but surely. Tomorrow is my 28th birthday, I start school on Monday, and I'm going to be in an arts and crafts show next weekend in downtown Aurora. Did I also mention that I started a new job about a month ago? I'm busy, busy, busy, as usual.

As if all this wasn't enough to fill my time and brain, yesterday my electric went out and will not be turned on for one to three days. Thank you, oh so much, previous tenants who did not pay your bill. My fridge is filled with soon-to-be-wasted food, I can't listen to my stereo, I can't charge my computer or phone, and I did my make-up by flashlight last night. Oh, yes, and I had to cancel the birthday house party I had planned for Saturday night.

So here I sit, at The House Cafe, checking my email, blogging, and swigging coffee... I'm just going with the flow and trying not to worry about things that are out of my control, counting to 10 over and over. Chryssa is going to lighten my roots this afternoon, and I think I might buy a new dress to lighten my mood.

P.S. I'm reading a fascinating memoir right now (thank you, Sarah!) called I'm with the Band: Confessions of a Groupie, by Pamela Des Barres. I'm devouring all its juicy details of rockstar trysts and sordid tales from a life I could only imagine. As a girl who's always been in the band, and not with the band, I'm absolutely engrossed in Pamela's life story. And come on, who hasn't wondered what it would be like to make-out with Jim Morrison??? It's a must read.