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	<title>The Pessimist</title>
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	<description>Expecting the worst. Never disappointed.</description>
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		<title>The Sochi Olympics Drinking Game</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2014/02/06/the-sochi-olympics-drinking-game/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2014/02/06/the-sochi-olympics-drinking-game/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 07 Feb 2014 01:27:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Despair, Inc.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Despair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drinking games]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[olympics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sochi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sports]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6489</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Dreading the boredom and widespread corruption of the Sochi Olympics? Try our drinking game! It's more fun than watching curling! (Everything is!)</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2014/02/06/the-sochi-olympics-drinking-game/">The Sochi Olympics Drinking Game</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>7 Hot Summer Jams To Help You Forget The Cold</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/28/7-hot-summer-jams-to-help-you-forget-the-cold/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/28/7-hot-summer-jams-to-help-you-forget-the-cold/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Jan 2014 21:51:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael Schaub</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Despair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[summer jams]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6473</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Polar vortex got you down? Forget about the weather with these seven smokin'-hot summer jams.</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/28/7-hot-summer-jams-to-help-you-forget-the-cold/">7 Hot Summer Jams To Help You Forget The Cold</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
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		<title>The Return of Bittersweets!</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/27/the-return-of-bittersweets/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/27/the-return-of-bittersweets/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 Jan 2014 19:19:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Despair, Inc.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Despair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Products]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anti-Valentine's Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BitterSweets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Candy hearts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[valentine's day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6465</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Don’t look now (seriously), but Valentine’s Day is just a little more than three weeks away! You probably haven’t noticed, unless you have been in a grocery store at any point in the last month, and been forced to walk&#8230;</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/27/the-return-of-bittersweets/">The Return of Bittersweets!</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>How To Write A Contrarian Thinkpiece</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/21/how-to-write-a-contrarian-thinkpiece/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/21/how-to-write-a-contrarian-thinkpiece/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Jan 2014 18:44:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michael Schaub</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Despair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Journalism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Propaganda]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6428</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>You probably think that the online contrarian thinkpiece represents a new low in journalism: a dispensable, reactionary quasi-essay written by a condescending know-it-all, and published by a magazine desperate for web traffic. Well, guess what? You&#8217;re wrong, you stupid idiot.&#8230;</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2014/01/21/how-to-write-a-contrarian-thinkpiece/">How To Write A Contrarian Thinkpiece</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>A 365 Day Calendar, with a Novella Inside&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2013/12/13/a-365-day-calendar-with-a-novella-inside/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2013/12/13/a-365-day-calendar-with-a-novella-inside/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Dec 2013 20:43:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Despair, Inc.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Products]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2014]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[antidepressants]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cocktails]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[daily calendar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dr. kersten]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[page a day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[penny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the pessimist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the secret]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6399</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>As 2013 draws to a close, so too does will our smash hit, 365 day journey into darkness, The Pessimist calendar. If you&#8217;ve been following along daily with the slow, steady unravelling of one particularly unfortunate, amusingly dysfunctional, frustratingly immature&#8230;</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2013/12/13/a-365-day-calendar-with-a-novella-inside/">A 365 Day Calendar, with a Novella Inside&#8230;</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
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		<title>The 365 Day Journey Continues! Order now!</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2013/12/06/the-pessimist-page-a-day-returns/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2013/12/06/the-pessimist-page-a-day-returns/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Dec 2013 21:10:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Despair, Inc.</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Products]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2014]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[calendar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[page a day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the pessimist]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6374</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>It’s HERE! The long-awaited SEQUEL to our smash-hit daily tear-off calendar, THE PESSIMIST, starts shipping next week! And it's more DEPRESSING than EVER!  With a smoking-hot new psychiatrist, a break-through new medication, and a Manic-Pixie-Dreamgirl new partner, what could possibly go wrong? (Quite a lot, actually...)
</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2013/12/06/the-pessimist-page-a-day-returns/">The 365 Day Journey Continues! Order now!</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thepessimist.com/2013/12/06/the-pessimist-page-a-day-returns/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>How to Be a Disaffected College Student</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/25/how-to-be-a-disaffected-college-student/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/25/how-to-be-a-disaffected-college-student/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Sep 2013 21:23:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Despair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[students]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6207</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>Starting your first year of college? Take our advice, and you'll be disaffected in no time!</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/25/how-to-be-a-disaffected-college-student/">How to Be a Disaffected College Student</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Behind The Scenes of &#8220;Who Killed John F. Kennedy?&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/24/behind-the-scenes-of-who-killed-john-f-kennedy/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/24/behind-the-scenes-of-who-killed-john-f-kennedy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Sep 2013 18:51:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Despair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lose Your Own Adventure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Products]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choose your own adventure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[David Ferrie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Encyclopedia Brown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Harlowe Thrombey]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lee Harvey Oswald]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LYOA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoilers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[who killed john f. kennedy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6243</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>SPOILER ALERT. If you haven&#8217;t yet read Lose Your Own Adventure #1, Who Killed John F. Kennedy?, you probably should skip this post! If you have read it, we hope you loved it! From the reviews on Goodreads and Amazon,&#8230;</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/24/behind-the-scenes-of-who-killed-john-f-kennedy/">Behind The Scenes of &#8220;Who Killed John F. Kennedy?&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/24/behind-the-scenes-of-who-killed-john-f-kennedy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Lose Your Own Adventure #2, &#8220;The Glass Ceiling&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/13/lose-your-own-adventure-2-the-glass-ceiling/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/13/lose-your-own-adventure-2-the-glass-ceiling/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Sep 2013 19:15:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Justin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Lose Your Own Adventure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[harassment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the glass ceiling]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6238</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>For over a decade, our female customers have asked us to take on workplace sexism. Yet it's a topic far too complex to reduce to a simple poster or t-shirt. It deserves nothing less than a full-on interactive book! </p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/13/lose-your-own-adventure-2-the-glass-ceiling/">Lose Your Own Adventure #2, &#8220;The Glass Ceiling&#8221;</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://thepessimist.com/2013/09/13/lose-your-own-adventure-2-the-glass-ceiling/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>How to Be Outraged on the Internet</title>
		<link>http://thepessimist.com/2013/08/07/how-to-be-outraged-on-the-internet/</link>
		<comments>http://thepessimist.com/2013/08/07/how-to-be-outraged-on-the-internet/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Aug 2013 19:15:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Despair]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Internet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rage]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thepessimist.com/?p=6127</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p>The Internet isn't a place for reasonable discussions. It's a place for incoherent, fiery rage. And with these helpful tips, YOU WILL DOMINATE IT.</p><p>The post <a href="http://thepessimist.com/2013/08/07/how-to-be-outraged-on-the-internet/">How to Be Outraged on the Internet</a> appeared first on <a href="http://thepessimist.com">The Pessimist</a>.</p>]]></description>
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