HOW TO DESTRESS FOR THE EMS

Destressing Fear

2021-01-25T19:08:00.005-08:00

Today, I want to examine the idea of destressing fear because recently I went onto a social media platform (which I rarely do these days) and I noticed a very good friend of mine losing it.

Literally losing it on his posts like a teenage girl throwing a tantrum because she isn't getting her way.

Okay, okay, I understand that what I just wrote is very unkind but, think about it! A grown man on social media saying things like a thirteen year old girl and not even knowing it.

Two men, I love very much, and I had a rich conversation last night that pertains to this.

One was explaining to me, when people have bad breath everyone in the room knows it except the person with bad breath. I'm paraphrasing of course but, what he is saying is sometimes people lack self-awareness.

This can happen to anyone. More often for some than others yet, it's pretty normal.

The other was saying that we create our own reality. I'm paraphrasing again, still, very true.

When I was a young EMT (Emergency Medical Technician), about twenty six years ago, I had two very bad 911 calls in very close time proximity. These calls involved deaths of children. Immediately afterwards, I was behaving in a way that was not normal for me.

In other words, I was losing it, very much like my friend on social media.

When I was losing control, something spoke to me within that said, "this is not normal."

I'm very grateful for that still small voice within because once I was aware, I quickly softened my anger and irritability, which was not common for me.

I was lucky to recognize the "not normal-ness" and I was able to change my behaviors, which were coming from my beliefs, which were coming from the thoughts that I kept thinking of not being safe.

Click here to read more...

DESTRESS FOR EMERGENCY PERSONNEL

2021-01-18T10:33:00.002-08:00

One of the most common signs of stress among the emergency service, besides denial, is unhappiness. There are fire fighters, paramedics, police officers, and EMT's that are truly unhappy.

What is the cause of this unhappiness? It's different for everyone, and in the Emergency Field, it comes and goes in phases. It may be caused by problems at home, problems at work, or it may be caused from a recent critical incident.

If you are unhappy something must be done because life is full of joy. Many emergency personnel enjoy life but there are those times that are just overwhelming and then we get stuck in that rut.

So what can one do? We can learn to destress which really means to create a stress free life. One must evaluate where the stress is coming from and then search for the solution.

One of the things I propose is never ending goal setting. What I mean by this is, pinpoint the problem and then work on the solution. The solution is your goal. If you have money problems then the goal is to solve it. If you have health problems then the goal is to solve it. If you have relationship problems then the goal is to solve it.

Often times we know how to solve our problems and the only reason we don't work towards solving them is because we do not focus on it. In other words, we do not set a goal to focus on it.

Spend time on yourself and set goals to solve your stress and if you need help seek it.

An obstacle in relieving stress in the Emergency Field is many individuals do not, and will not seek help. It has been said, the number one sign of stress in First Responders is denial.

As heros, we help others, and tend to believe we don't need help because if we do then something is wrong with us.

One must look at the evidence. If you are angry, anxious, and/or depressed for long periods of time or out of proportion to the things happening in your life, it may not be normal for you. It may not be normal for anyone. If it doesn't seem normal, it is a really good indicator you may need help.

My graduate studies were in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling but I believe in self-help via bibliotherapy more than I believe in therapy. Maybe because I was a first responder for twenty years.

I'm not saying therapy doesn't work, I'm saying I don't believe in it for me. I've read and studied many spiritual books, including the Bible, and I found more healing and relief that way than talking to a therapist who doesn't have much inclination as to what we may be going through due to special circumstances in the EMS.

The greatest advice I can, or could give anyone suffering from stress is you got to be able to notice you have stress, and you got to be able to focus on the solution.

The next advice is please seek consultation with your Private Medical Doctor, it may be you need medication to help you. I believe in the assistance of medication because I've seen it help many heal emotionally, mentally, and physically.

With the help of your PMD, and focusing on the solution, relief is sure to come.

Examples of solutions are:

For anger, the solution can be peace.

For anxiety, the solution can be calm, confidence.

For depression, the solution can appreciation.

Simple, but not necessarily easy.

These solutions are of course more complex than the phrases provided above but we are habitual beings, and if we practice anger, anxiety, or depression, we can, and will become experts because practiced habits makes things permanent. Therefore, if we intentionally practice the opposite, we can become experts with permanent habits, as well.

The application and practice is how we become great at anything. Just think about art, driving, and sports. At first, we must learn the skills, and after application and practice, if we want to, we can be experts.

I'm a professional because I get paid but, I am an expert because I have a high success rate.

It takes application, education, and practice to become experts at anything, including calm, confidence, with inner peace, which happens to be the opposite of stress.

I've talked to EMT's, Fire Fighters, Paramedics, Police Officers, and Military Personnel and some understand they are stressed, and some are in great denial. The question is, are you happy? If no, then you may have high levels of stress. If yes, you are probably alright unless people are telling you that you are not. Then the next question is, is your anger, anxiety, depression, irritability, or moodiness out of control?

Just some words of healing to think about, I'm sending out into the Universe, if you need it because a lot of people are buying up the book I wrote on EMS Stress.

To your healing, if you need it!

Take care...

Elizabeth Stanfill

READ EMS STRESS FOR
EMT'S & PARAMEDICS

Stress in the EMS?

2014-02-27T05:00:00.001-08:00

Stress in the EMS is what I wanna blog about this day!

Hey, hey, how you doin'? It's been a while since I have blogged about stress and destressing in the Emergency Field, and since I have been helping a few medics lately, I thought I would get back to blogging, and helping the helpers.

One question that is often posed to me is, "How do you know if you have stress when you work in the EMS?" Normally individuals ask this because they don't think they have stress and they are concerned about someone else. So, whether you wanna know about stress for yourself, or stress relief for someone else, I would love to help you all out.

This is the thing about stress in the EMS...

If you work in the Emergency Field, running 911 calls, and responding in your vehicle with lights, and sirens, you will experience stress, PERIOD!!! If you are sitting in a calm state, the alarm for a call goes off, you jump up a runnin', you activate an increase in your pulse, blood pressure, and body system, right? So, if you do that all the day long, everyday you work, you activate physical stress.

If you are running calls, and you have the mood of anger, irritability, moodiness, or anxiety, along with the physical stress, you are experiencing emotional stress as well. These particular negative emotions tend to mimic the stress response, aka fight or flight response. It may be at lower levels but, it is still activating a very similar response, and depending on the individual, it may be the actual stress response.

Some signs, and symptoms that are exhibited when we have our daily stress along with the added first responder stress are...

Physical presentations include headaches, neck aches, chest pain, hypertension, tacha cardia, dizziness, fatigue, gastrointestinal problems, nausea, vomiting, sweats, chills, and difficulty breathing.

Emotional manifestations include anxiety, guilt, fear, panic, grief, depression, and apprehension.

Cognitive demonstrations include denial, memory loss, disorientation, hyper-alertness, nightmares, poor concentration, difficulty problem solving, difficulty decision making, intrusive images, and disturbed thoughts.

Behavioral indications include avoidance, blaming, difficulty with speech, decrease or increase in appetite, decrease or increase in sleep, increased alcohol, outbursts, poor hygiene, restlessness, and withdrawal.

If you have any of these signs or symptoms, and they happened to begin during your career, chances are you got some stress my friend. If you have had any of these signs, and/or symptoms long before your career in the Emergency Field, chances are you got some stress my friend.

People who are stressed out, burned out, or whacked out, before they begin running 911 calls, are much higher risk for severe stress when they enter the Emergency Service, which can turn into crisis, or despair with life.

So, if you answered yes to having stress in the EMS, the greatest thing you, or anyone can do is raise awareness, take steps towards intervention, and educate self for direction.

In my 'EMS Stress Book' you can find basic stress management information, and direction. Also, in my 'Stress Free' book, you will find a stress test, and solutions for stressful habits.

In my upcoming posts, I will address the most common stressful reactions, and possible remedies, and solutions.

Have a wonderful day my friend!

Elizabeth

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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

2013-12-27T15:34:00.000-08:00

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is the topic of this blog, this day!

There is a new discussion that appeared in 2013, and that is the new Diagnostic And Statistical Manual-5 (DSM-5) of Mental Disorders, which is used by the American Psychiatric Association, and the American Psychology Association, to diagnose patients. This diagnosis is accepted as very important for diagnosis, treatment, and insurance purposes.

The DSM-5 was rolled out in May of 2013, and because I believe I see many people in the Emergency Field, as well as in the Military, with PTSD, I want to continue my familiarization.

Nearly four years ago I posted the

DSM-IV-TR CRITERIA FOR PTSD PART I

and

DSM-IV-TR CRITERIA FOR PTSD PART II

and now I want to provide the new discussion of changes

POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DSM-5 a document from American Psychiatric Publishing.

Take a look and let me know what you think. I like to provide this very important information on PTSD because it is a vital component of stress.

Happy New Year!!! 2014 is going to be a great year.

Elizabeth

If you like what you read here, please subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and don't forget to confirm.

If you need help email me, I would love to help you in anyway I can.

HAVE YOU READ MY BOOK?

Amazon has it on promotion for today and tomorrow, free, I think.

Six Signs of Stress in an EMT

2013-12-12T14:38:00.000-08:00

Signs of stress in an EMT is what I would like to write about this day...

Hey, hey, how are you this wonderful day? Tomorrow is Friday, but if you are in the Emergency Field that doesn't matter to you now does it? Most people who work in the Emergency Arena work twenty four hours a day, and ten days a month, or twelve hours a day, three days one week, and four days the next. Often times when you have a rotating schedule, you do not get holidays or weekends off when you want them.

Stress in the EMS is huge, I know, I worked in the Emergency Medical Field for twenty years, and now I help First Responders with their stress. I also help Military Personnel with their anxiety and stress.

My goal in this post is to encourage anyone, literally anyone, to seek help for their stress if you have one of the six signs of stress, as follows.

1. Addiction is reaching for something that we think will make us feel better but usually doesn't, something that we cannot quit, and normally has a very negative impact on our life.

2. Anger is based on fear of not getting our way. I know that sounds harsh but think of the last time you were angry. It was probably a situation that happened one way, and you were angry because you believe it should have happened another way, your way.

3. Anxiety is an enhanced state of worry about something, usually about the future.

4. Depression is sadness about our life, and how it should be better because we are focusing on what is wrong, and what we don't have.

5. Fatigue comes from physical stress, and mental stress. When we overwork our body, and we have a super negative mind set, we become drained of our energy.

6. Pessimism is displayed through a negative thought process, which causes stress because it is followed by negative emotions, and then negative actions.

If you have one of the above it is very important to seek help from someone who specializes in the Emergency Field, and has a high success rate. Why is it important? It is important because you are important, and if you don't do something about the stressful sign, it will become who you are. The stressful sign that you experience will become part of your personality, if it is not already.

These are not necessarily Symptoms but they are definitely signs because you may not see them but others can.

Seek help my friend, and you will be able to enjoy you, and others more.

I would love to write solutions but instead I will provide you a copy of my EMS Stress Book for FREE...

This book is free for one day only, December 13, 2013, Friday the thirteenth, how funny is that?

If you are having a hard time financially, with work, with relationships, with sleeping, with your partner, with your anger, with your anxiety, with your addiction, with your depression, with your fatigue, or with your attitude, click the picture and download the EMS Stress Book for free.

If you want to feel happiness, joy, and laughter, then seek help, or start with the EMS Stress Book.

Have a great day, weekend, and holiday.

Merry Christmas...

Elizabeth

If you like what you read here, please subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and don't forget to confirm.

If you need help email me, I would love to help you in anyway I can.

EMS Stress And Fatigue

2013-06-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

EMS stress and fatigue is the topic of today.

Hello my friend. Hope you are well, and ready to enjoy your Summer, fo sho.

I gotta challenge for you! So read on, and take the challenge, if you are up to it!

A major symptom of stress in the Emergency Field among EMT's, Firefighters, Paramedics, and Police Officers is fatigue. This type of stress is developed primarily because of long, busy hours, and physical strain on the body due to these hours.

When we have physical stress it can easily result in fatigue.

How are you feeling? Are you feeling full of energy or extremely fatigued?

If you are full of energy; Awesome! If you are constantly fatigued, I would like to suggest a few remedies, and one challenge, if you are so willing to resolve this issue.

The opposite of fatigue is energy, right? So in order to eliminate fatigue one must create energy, and if one is fatigued often, one can create habits to his or her best ability to sustain constant energy.

Okay, we know we are gonna be tired from long and busy shifts; that's a given. Some things that increase the being tired factor are eating crap, being out of shape, and having a very negative attitude.

Therefore, to increase energy, the opposite of fatigue, we can eat healthy nutritious foods that provide vitamins, and minerals. In addition, we can exercise vigorously often, and create a positive attitude, which happens to make us feel good, and when we feel good, we create energy.

Basic Stress Management my friend.

We know all of this, don't we? Then why am I blogging about it? I am blogging about it because it is my hope for you, if you are fatigued, that you consider your unhealthy habits. It is also my hope that you consider what your habits are telling you.

What are your unhealthy habits telling you? And...what are your unhealthy habits going to provide for the future of your well being as you age?

Just some things to think about to destress if you are in the Emergency Field.

So here is the challenge...

Pick one thing, just one habit, that is draining your energy and turn it around. What I am talking about is start to exercise if you do not, or eliminate fast food if you eat it all the time, or eat better foods if you eat like poo poo, or create a positive attitude if you got a negative one.

That's it! That is the challenge. Take one thing, one weakness, within your habits that is draining your fatigue and turn it around. If you are brave enough, when you conquer that unhealthy habit, start on another one, and change that one too.

YOU CAN DO THIS!

YOU ARE AMAZING!

YOU ARE BRILLIANT!

YOU ARE COURAGEOUS!

MAKE WEAK THINGS STRONG!

I know, I know, I am always talking about making weak things strong. Making weak things strong is how we destress.

If you have read my book, EMS STRESS, the only thing I really discuss is destressing yourself by making weak things strong.

Even in my last post, EMS Stress Relief Techniques, I discuss making weak things strong so that we can decrease stress and increase success.

That's all I got for EMS stress and fatigue.

Have a great weekend...

Elizabeth

If you like what you read please subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box at the top, just above this post, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

:D

EMS Stress Relief Techniques

2013-06-06T14:18:00.000-07:00

Seven EMS Stress Relief Techniques is what I got for you today.

Hello there! I got a pithy post for you...

Here are Seven of the best EMS Stress Reduction Tips for Basic Stress Management.

1. Eat Right & Hydrate
It takes energy to handle stress; eating right and hydrating well increases our levels of energy unlike eating processed foods and drinking tons of caffeine. Processed foods puts us in nap mode and caffeine dehydrates us. Fatigue is a symptom of dehydration.

2. Exercise Vigorously
When we are stressed we feel like poo poo, and when we exercise vigorously we can create feel good neurotransmitters, which will make us feel fantastico.

3. Get Plenty of Sleep
When we do not get essential hours of sleep, we can be super duper cranky, and cranky gets not one person a pleasant day, especially those around us. Happiness is crucial for stress relief. Many EMS Personnel work 24-hour shifts, and that makes it a little difficult to get good sleep. Therefore, it is good to practice regular sleeping hours while off duty. Regular sleep will decrease the irritability factor.

4. Do Things You Love
Plan to do things you love as often as your schedule permits, and this will definitely reduce the stress levels. Doing things we love often, when healthy, also increases the happiness factor, which relieves stress.

5. Do Things with People You Love
Plan to do things you love with people you love, and this will double the stress reduction, double the happiness factor, and you will feel destressed for sure.

6. Practice Deep Relaxation
When a person works in the Emergency Field he or she can have heightened stress because the adrenaline is provoked quite frequently just through responding with lights and sirens in traffic. In addition, if there is an intense situation on scene, the adrenal glands are engaged even more. The Emergency Responder can be on stress mode regularly therefore, it is a good practice to develop the art of relaxing through formal intentional deep relaxation.

7. Know That You Can Handle Anything
Besides the abnormal stressful situations within the EMS, there are normal stressers at home like financial difficulties, health problems, and/or relationship issues. One thing that can increase stress is worry, and when we worry we always play the absolute worst scenario out in our mind. When we play the worst scenario possible, we are showing our faith for the worst outcome. Knowing, without a doubt that no matter what happens, we can handle anything helps us handle stress. In addition, we can overcome any fear by writing down the best possible outcome and set up steps to move towards that like a goal. By doing this, we will build faith in our self, and easily believe we can handle anything.

There you have it! My pithy post on EMS Stress Relief Techniques.

Just some things that you may want to think about, if you believe you have serious stress and you are in the Emergency Field.

Have a great day...

Elizabeth

If you like what you read please subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box at the top, just above this post, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

:D

Serious Stress In The EMS

2013-05-31T12:20:00.000-07:00

Serious Stress in the EMS is what I wanna discuss today.

Serious Stress can easily be defined as the kind of stress that truly affects your state of happiness. What causes the stress, in my opinion, might not be as important as what sustains it.

Stress is strain. So, serious stress is a constant strain that affects the happiness of the being.

The most common kinds of stress in the EMS, that I have seen, are usually sustained by addiction, anger, anxiety, depression, debt, and withdrawal.

All of these mentioned are not necessarily what has caused the stress, but they certainly can be blamed for sustaining a stressful life style.

Please let me explain.

When we feel unhappy, underpressure, or full of stress, it is very natural to reach for something that makes us feel better, and often times we reach for things that are not good for us. When we reach for things that are not good for us, too often, we sustain a lifestyle full of stress.

Addiction to unhealthy things like alcohol, cigarettes, drama, drugs, negative emotions, and unhealthy foods develop stress.

How do these addictions design stress? They establish stress because they cause mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual strain.

How are drama and negative emotions addictions? Well, Freud stated that addictions are long-term self-harming behavior therefore, drama and negative emotions are, or can be, long-term self-harming behaviors. I would like to add a little of my opinion to Freud's definition, and I would add that addictions are things that we 'believe' we cannot quit.

I do believe, with all my heart and soul, that addictions are things that we 'believe' we cannot quit.

We can be addicted to people, places, and things; good or bad for us. We can be addicted to emotions; good or bad for us. We can be addicted to anything; good or bad for us.

If we are guided by my definition of addiction then all addictions wouldn't be negative.

Anywho... a little tangent there.

What I am trying to say here is that serious stress in the EMS is sustained by things we reach for to make us feel better, and if we are reaching for things that are unhealthy for us, we can certainly destress our lives by replacing them with healthier things.

Consider destressing yourself by replacing unhealthy addictions with healthier ones like exercise, eating right, and getting sleep the exact same hours every night (the days you are off anyway).

Consider destressing yourself by eliminating your anger, anxiety, or depression (if you have it) with happiness by doing things you love and consciously practicing the opposite emotion. The opposite of anger is peace, the opposite of anxiety is calm, and the opposite of depression is happiness. I believe with all my heart and soul that we can eliminate any negative emotion with practicing the opposite. How do I know? I have help thousands of people do it.

Consider destressing yourself by removing your debt (if you have it), and create abundance, and prosperity.

Finally, consider destressing yourself by overcoming withdrawal from the world. So many Medics, Firefighters, and Police Officers tend to withdrawal from others. They tend to spend their days alone, or they tend to spend their days in the house, believe it or not. If this is something you do, please consider getting yourself out to do things you enjoy. If you cannot get yourself to leave the house to do things you enjoy, you may want to see your doctor about depression.

Just some things that you may want to think about, if you believe you have serious stress and you are in the Emergency Field.

Have a great day...

Elizabeth

If you like what you read please subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box at the top, just above this post, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

:D

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2013-01-31T11:01:00.002-08:00

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WHAT'S YOUR PURPOSE?

2012-05-08T06:47:00.001-07:00

Hey there! ;0)

This week we had a post about De-Stressing Yourself With A Hobby, and my last post, I talked about My Passion and My Purpose.

Now, I pose the question, "What's your purpose?"

Do you know what your purpose in life is? If you do, are you living it?

The reason I pose these questions is because I have had SEVERAL conversations about purpose lately.

The other day, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak to a young college student and she explained that she was feeling empty and lost. She wanted help finding herself, she didn't know how to do it, and she desperately wanted help. OH MY GOSH!!! Do you see how brilliant that is? It's brilliant because she is where many people get, usually when they are older.

Deep down inside she wanted to know her purpose in life. She knew that there was something missing. Do you feel like that?

How grateful I was to speak to her and how grateful I was to help her know that her soul was asking for direction to her purpose. After we discussed that very thing, she got it. How lucky she is to get something like that as such an early age.

Do you feel empty? Do you feel lost? Do you feel like you want to find yourself?

If the answer is yes to these questions, it is my humble opinion that you are looking for your purpose, or you know what it is and want to live it.

The conversation of 'my purpose' has been very commonplace with others and me for a long time but much more so lately, especially the last week.

So, if it is your desire to find and live your purpose, here is some questions you can ask yourself.

What would you do everyday if time and money were not an issue?

If you could be anybody, who would you be? Why would you be them? What is it about their life that is so appealing to you?

What are you naturally good at that you would love to do anytime if you could?

What would you love to learn to do?

Just some things to think about because I believe, with all my heart and soul, that if you find and live your purpose you will truly live a destressed life. If you live your passion and purpose, you will feel whole, and happy. If you live your passion and purpose, you will not drift through life feeling empty or lost.

If you want more ways to find your purpose, Google it. Google, "what is my purpose?"

And...

Turn to Heavenly Father in prayer. He loves you and promises to help you find it.

"And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?" ~Luke 11:9-11

I KNOW THAT THIS IS SO!!! ;0)

Have a great week my friend!

Have fun! Be playful!

Love you lots and lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

PASSION AND PURPOSE!

2012-04-17T07:04:00.001-07:00

Hello there. How are you doing this week so far? Great, I hope!

Did you happen to read the guest post, De-stress Yourself With A Hobby, by Lori Hutchinson from Masters in Teaching? If you didn't, you might want to read it. She talks about doing what makes you happy, how it gives you peace, and how it is a factor in stress management.

I love, love, love her article because I know, without a doubt, that living with happiness and peace is the opposite of stress, it is destressing yourself.

What I also know, without a doubt, is that if you find out what your purpose and passions are, you will live a magnificent life full of happiness, energy, vitality, and wholeness.

When I was very young, I knew that I loved, loved, loved to help people. That is my purpose and passion. As I got older, my helping people evolved. When I was younger, I always helped the underdog at school, the one who was always picked on. Because I had bigger brothers, no one would mess with me, and I took advantage of that by helping the person who got bullied.

As I worked as an EMT, I noticed that people in the Emergency Field were seriously unhappy, and unnecessarily angry. Many Fire Fighters, Nurses, Paramedics, Police Officers, and EMT's had horrible ways of handling their stress with anger, anxiety, and pure unkindness for others. This was so heart breaking because their behavior, to the normal person, was extremely extraordinarily abnormal but they couldn't see it.

When I first started to help the Emergency Personnel with crisis, it was a miracle. It was a miracle because they could find happiness amongst all of that crazy anger. That is how my passion and purpose evolved from helping the underdog to helping the hero go from crisis to calm.

Although I still get to help the hero, I also have the opportunity everyday to help the Father, Mother, Child, or Grandparent destress. I have the opportunity to help the teenager, or adult destress. My passion is destressing people, and my purpose is to destress the world ;0) (Just watch me now)!

As I live my passion and purpose, I see happiness all around, I feel energy for life everyday, and I have pure vitality for life. Sure, I have my stress, everybody does, but as we find what we love to do, and live it, we become less stressed.

What I am trying to add to Lori's article is, find out what you love to do, and if you already know what it is, start to participate in it. If you do that, I promise you that you will destress yourself.

What do you love to do?

What would you do everyday, if you could?

Do you know? If you do, are you doing it?

Just some things you can think about as you destress yourself.

"For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love, serve one another." ~Galatians 5:13

Whatever your purpose, whatever your passions, they are our gifts from God, and they are there so that we may use them to serve one another, not just ourselves.

I KNOW THAT THIS IS SO!!!

Have a super duper rest of the week!!!

Have fun! Be playful!

Love you lots and lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

;0)

ABUNDANCE

2012-04-10T06:57:00.003-07:00

THE ABC'S OF ABUNDANCE ;0)

Hello there! How is your week so far? Mine was excellent! Life is great! Everyday is a weekend to me. I know, that probably sounds really arrogant but, if you could, wouldn't you make everyday a weekend?

If you love love, the way I love love, and if you found and lived your passion and purpose, everyday would be a weekend for you too. No lie!

Moving on ;0)

Just in case you missed my last three posts, I wanted to give you the links because they are the ABC's of abundance.

Attitude

Believing

Courage

A positive attitude gives us peace, which is the opposite of stress and it promotes greater energy for the individual. It takes energy to relieve stress and energy increases our self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth, which will increase our feelings of abundance.

When we believe in ourselves we eliminate doubt, fear, and worry, which are stress inducers. Believing in ourselves allows us unlimited possibilities and a more abundant life.

When we have courage we can face our challenges and step out of our comfort zone. Challenges and stepping out of our comfort zone makes us or breaks us, and if we have courage, we can, and will, create an abundant life.

Here is to your Abundant Life... Today! Focus on;

A positive attitude.

Believing in yourself.

Having courage.

And if you are brave enough, focus on these attributes for the next thirty, or more, days.

Bug Hugs...

Have fun! Be playful!

Love you lots ;0)

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

;0)

COURAGE!

2012-04-05T06:47:00.001-07:00

Hey there! Hi there! Hope you had a great weekend.

Did you know that my title is, 'Stress Specialist' or 'Destress Yourself Expert', but what I really would like my title to be is, 'Courage Expert/Specialist' because I love, love, love to encourage people. When I spend time encouraging people, the only thing I am doing is persuading them to be courageous.

When we have challenges, and we become stressed, we have doubt, fear, and worry. When we have doubt, fear, and worry, we start to think about the worst possible thing that could happen, and then we start to think about the steps we will have to take as we move towards what we think is the worst.

If we face our challenges with courage, instead of thinking about the worst thing that could happen, we shift our thoughts to the best possible outcome, and then make decisions and move towards what we think is, and would be, the best results. That is courage, my friend.

"Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently.

Said the American essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide on, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.”

There will be times when you will be frightened and discouraged. You may feel that you are defeated. The odds of obtaining victory may appear overwhelming. At times you may feel like David trying to fight Goliath. But remember—David did win!

Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one’s coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve.

Have the determination to make the effort, the single-mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only to face the challenges that inevitably come but also to make a second effort, should such be required. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.” ~Taken from Thomas S. Monson's message, Living the Abundant Life

Have courage my friend! When the challenge comes, remind yourself, "Courage!" When you are required to step outside of your comfort zone to move ahead, and away from your stress, say it again, "Courage!"

"Arise; for this matter belongeth unto thee: we also will be with thee: be of good courage, and do it." ~Ezra 10:4

DO IT!

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord." ~Palm 27:14

"Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord." ~Psalms 31:24

More things to think about so you can destress yourself.

Have a super duper week!!!

Have fun! Be playful

Love you lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts.

Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

;0)

BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

2012-04-03T09:03:00.001-07:00

DESTRESS YOURSELF BY BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

Hello my friend. How's your week so far? Hope you read my last post and are increasing your Positive Attitude.

Today, I wanna talk a lil bout believing in yourself. What does believing in yourself have to do with destressing yourself? Excellent question!

Stress is caused by our doubt, fear, and worry. If we believe in ourselves, and others, our doubt, fear, and worry will turn into certainty, confidence, and faith. When we live with thoughts of certainty, confidence, and faith, we truly destress ourselves.

Believing in yourself, and others, is just a matter of being honest with yourself. If you search the evidence, you will find you are very successful thus far in your life. Therefore, you have great reason to be honest with yourself and have faith in yourself.

"Be honest with yourself, with others, and with your Heavenly Father. One who was not honest with God until it was too late was Cardinal Wolsey who, according to Shakespeare, spent a long life in service to three sovereigns and enjoyed wealth and power. Finally, he was shorn of his power and possessions by an impatient king. Cardinal Wolsey cried:

Had I but served my God with half the zeal

I served my king, He would not in mine age

Have left me naked to mine enemies.

Thomas Fuller, an English churchman and historian who lived in the 17th century, penned this truth: “He does not believe that does not live according to his belief.”

Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do.

Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities.

You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith." ~Taken from Thomas S. Monson's message, Living the Abundant Life

When we believe in ourselves we have faith, and we eliminate the doubt, which is a stress inducer fo sho!

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." ~Hebrew 11:1

"For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith" ~Galatians 5:5

"But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation." ~1 Thessalonians 5:8

Just a few more things you can think about to destress yourself.

Enjoy the rest of your week!!!

Have fun! Be playful

Love you lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

;0)

THE WORST CRITICAL INCIDENTS

2012-03-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

Hey there. I have been involved with critical incidents for twenty years now because of my experience in the EMS, and for the last 13 years because of my education, experience, and expertise in CISM (Critical Incident Stress Managment). If you are in the Emergency Service, a common question that is probably posed to you is, "What is the worst thing you have ever seen?"

According to the Emergency Medical Field, the top ten worst, or Terrible Ten are...

1. Suicide of a colleague
2. Line of duty death
3. Serious line of duty injury
4. Disaster/MCI
5. Witnessed Police shooting and/or killing or wounding someone
6. Significant event with children
7. Relatives of known victims
8. Prolonged incident especially with loss
9. Excessive media interest
10.Any powerful and significant event deemed by the participant

According to the Law Enforcement Agencies the Terrible Ten are...

1. Line of duty death
2. Suicide of a colleague
3. Serious work related injury
4. Multi-casualty/disaster/terrorist event
5. Events with a high degree of threat to the organizations personnel
6. Significant events involving children
7. Events in which the victim is known to the organizations personnel
8. Events with excessive media interest
9. Events that are prolonged and end with a negative outcome
10. Any significant powerful, overwhelming event

This information is compiled via SOP's (Standard Operations Procedures) from several different agencies.

From my experience, and documentation, from the last 20 years, I have found to be the worst as follows...

1. Death of a coworker who was a very good friend.
2. Suicide of a coworker who was a very good friend.
3. Responding on a call to a coworker, which resulted in a death.
4. Very gruesome, multi-victim, high profile media case, with children involved.
5. Responding to a family member that resulted in death.
6. Responding to a coworker that involved serious illness, or injury.
7. Responding to a call involving an acquaintance that resulted in death.
8. Multi-victim death, high profile media case, with several witnesses to the call.
9. Traumatic death of a child similar to own child's age.
10.Serious line of duty injury.

Why do I say that these are the worst? It is because I have seen these incidents transpire personally, the majority of them I have done the actual intervention, and the worst is displayed by the lack of recovery by the individuals involved. This is just my personal experience and humble opinion.

Why do I post the Terrible Ten? It is because I have seen, and still see, others who have not recovered from these types of incidents, and I want people to know that recovery is possible. I know, with all my heart and soul, with out any doubt, that we can recover from these types of events.

If you do need recovery, what do you need recovery from? When people suffer from critical incidents that affect them, they suffer from primarily emotional disarray like anger, anxiety, apprehension, depression, grief, guilt, irritability, panic, or moodiness. They also suffer from cognitive disharmony like denial, difficulty making decisions, difficulty solving problems, disturbed thoughts, hyper-alertness, intrusive images, lack of faith in life, others, and oneself, lack of the ability to focus, memory loss, nightmares, or poor concentration. Finally, they suffer from behavioral disorganization like avoidance, blaming, decrease/increase in appetite, decrease/increase in sleeping patterns, difficulty articulating, increase in alcohol/caffeine/drugs use/nicotine use, outburst, poor hygiene, restlessness, or withdrawal.

If you suffer from any of these difficulties, there is recovery. What is recovery? It is the act of returning to normal, or better yet, returning to yourself.

These signs and symptoms are not who you are! When you overcome, or recover, from unhealthy reactions that are manifesting in your life, you destress yourself.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can. elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

;0)

Some things to think about.

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

I'M READY TO TALK!

2012-02-22T15:43:00.000-08:00

Hello my fellow emergency worker. How are you this wonderful wonderful day? I am super duper, the weather is great, the family is healthy, and I am happy.

Well, I am ready to talk. I have been in the Emergency field for 20 years now and I got some serious stories. Stories as a young EMT, stories as an FTO (Field Training Officer), stories as a 911 Operations Supervisor, stories as a CISM (Critical Incident Stress Management) Peer Counselor, and stories as the CISM Coordinator for the Southern Pacific Region of the largest ambulance company in the United States.

Maybe you have noticed, I have only shared a few personal stories like 'MY FIRST TRAUMA AS AN EMT', 'MY CRITICAL INCIDENT AS AN EMT', and I discussed my very first psycho partner in the post, 'EMT STRESS FROM YOUR PARTNER'. The reason I haven't wrote about my personal experiences so much is because I am very very reluctant. I have a lot in my head, and I know that it affects me daily because I specialize in stress. When you specialize in stress, you learn to relax, and that relaxed state provides a quiet mind, and a very aware mind of what you are thinking.

Boy do I have memories! As I was meditating, I realized that I need to get these stories out of my head and onto paper, blog in this case. I believe that it will be therapeutic for me, and I believe it could really help some of you out there who are having stress. So, I wanna talk.

When I first started as an EMT, I worked at what everyone thought was a very prestigious company. I was very honored to work there because many of my friends tried to apply, they couldn't get in, and I did. It was a solemn declaration that I was very fortunate.

At the time I was hired, there weren't any other females. Within my first three to six months, I was sexually harassed, physically threatened, and verbally hazed. Because I am an advocate for not taking any BS, and I grew up with all brothers who instilled in my mind to defend myself, there were a couple of people who suffered their own consequences by loosing their job. This was not a very good way to begin my career and I was affected by it for the next couple of years. Meaning, life was not easy with some individuals. But, I survived! MWA HA HA! ;0)

There were a few individuals who were very kind to me. Some knew what was going on, and they went out of their way to make me feel welcome at work.

Pretty crazy, eh? All of this 'stuff' I went through really enhanced my B*tch qualities.

Looking back, what I learned is, I am one tough cookie who could handle a whole lotta lotta. We are talking about working in a not so easy environment sometimes. Although I was on an ambulance with a partner, who may have been really cool, depending on who it was, I still had to go to the stations and accept the way I would be received.

I am so very grateful for this experience because it taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I could go through the appropriate channels, although it did not sit well with some supervisors, and get results when dealing with inappropriate behavior. It taught me that not only do we have stress running calls on a busy day, but we also have a lot of stress in the work environment. It taught me the beginning steps, and gave me glimpses on how to handle stress in the work place. It also taught me to help others who had similar situations.

What I wish I would have done differently? I wish I would have been less angry, and I wish I had not been such a B*tch at this time in my life.

How could I have done it differently? I could have learned to not let things get to me so easily, and I could have learned to manage my anger better. If I was more easy going and less angry, I would have enjoyed me more, I would have had better quality relationships, and I wouldn't have gotten so burned out so easily.

Anger and unkindness, towards yourself and others, is a very big part of burnout.

For all of you out there who are having a hard time because of your environment at work, there is a better way. There is a way that we can not let others get to us, and there is a way that we can enjoy life even though others are so unkind they are making our surroundings unpleasant.

One of the most important things is to work on your own way of reacting. We can react in better ways, we can overcome anger, and we can overcome unkindness. When people are being unkind, we don't like it, and so why would we be unkind in turn? Wouldn't that make us just like them? That would be becoming what we don't like, right?

We can become more understanding to people's crazy crazy inappropriate behavior, recognize that they are inappropriate, and approach them with professional appropriate communication. Never alone, by the way. Always have a witness who is aware of the situation.

The first step to any conflict is to discuss it with the person. If that doesn't work, you go through the appropriate channels. Many of you will say, or think, ya right! That's not how things are done, we do not snitch. Ya well, if you don't take care of it others may not ever become aware, and the behavior may never stop.

Lastly, one of life's greatest lessons is, learn to not let people get to you. Now I am not talking about holding it in and festering with anger, and not showing it. I am talking about knowing that their behavior has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with their ability, or inability rather, to be appropriate and professional. They are just not smart enough to know how to treat people right? I was guilty of that by being a B. Get it?

No longer do I let people get to me. Well, maybe sometimes for a minute or so, but then I am over it.

You can do this as well! I know you can! You got the power within you!

By not letting people get to you is how you destress yourself. You do not destress yourself by changing the other person or controlling their behavior, all be it bad behavior. You destress yourself by changing and mastering your thoughts, feelings, and actions. That is the school of life, getting better and better at mastering your self-confidence, your happiness, and your success.

Hopefully, my story has helped you. If it has or you have a comment or question please post a comment below.

Stay tuned for more of my self therapy with stories. Be advised, they may get a little gruesome at times. Oh, your in the EMS, you enjoy that ;0)

Have a great day! Big Hugs!

Elizabeth

email me, elizabethstanfill@gmail.com, I would love to hear from you and help you anyway I can.

STRESS

2012-02-16T09:16:00.001-08:00

Never was I able to measure the level of stress, or even gauge the level of stress, that has been among others until I started blogging. My blogging began in 2006, and then seriously in 2007. It wasn't until 2009 that I was able to measure how many visitors I had in a day, week, or month. The measurements were only monthly before then.

All this babbling is about stress out there in the world. What I mean is, in the summer of 2009, I had about 500 to 600 readers a month. In the winter the readers more than doubled, and that just so happens to be my busiest time of the year, destressing people. By 2010 summer, I had in a week, what I had in followers in a month from 2009 winter. In the 2010 winter, it doubled, then went back down by the end of April.

By 2011, in the summer, my visitors doubled to what I was experiencing in the busy months of the winter, and the emails doubled as well. By the winter of 2011, I was experiencing crazy, crazy amounts of readers daily.

What I am trying to explain in all of this blah blah is, I believe because of the number of visitors, and contacts I am experiencing, stress is increasing out there in the world. For a minute there, I thought things were getting better, over the holidays, because my stats dropped from December 24, 2011 to January 2, 2012, to what was high stats in the 2011 summer. But, by January 8, 2012, things got back to all time highs again.

By January 14, 2012, my post How To Destress Your Deepest Moments of Despair, was viewed 1000 times. What this means to me is, there are plenty of people out there in their deepest moments of despair.

There was a time when I responded to Critical Incidents, and taught stress prevention, intervention, and direction only to the Emergency Personnel, which included EMT's, Firefighters, Paramedics, and Police Officers. Then it expanded to Management and Administrators.

I can remember my first one on one clients that were not in the Emergency Field, they included men, who were business owners. Many of them were sent to me by their wives, and the common reaction was, "My wife sent me to see you because if I don't get a handle on my stress then she will divorce me." No lie!

Then I started teaching all kinds of individuals stress relief.

Most recently, my contacts have been people who have lost their jobs, homes, and sometimes everything they have, and sometimes even a family member.

When October & November 2011 came around, I had an unusual amount of teenagers come to me due to pressures usually at home, but not entirely.

Is the economy in America getting better? Is the economy in the World getting better? That is hard to say, but from my stand point, a whole lotta people are trying to relieve stress, that's fo sho!

This time of the year is the best time for you, and me, to relieve our stress because it is the New Year, and we can be motivated to start a new.

When people are stressed, it is caused by doubt, fear, and worry about their circumstances. When people are really stressed, they tend to focus on the worst possible outcome. They think about the worst thing that could happen, over and over, in their mind. This causes a whole lotta stress.

One of the best things we can do, when we think about the worst over and over again, is write down what we want, what we really want. Write down the best possible outcome you could have in your situation, make them goals, and focus on them. Focus on them by reading your written list everyday, and making a to do list to move forward on it. This will destress you by building faith in yourself, and making you focus on the best instead of worst.

Another great thing we can do is learn the relaxation response. The relaxation response will provide a way for you to create a habit of relaxing any time, and any where. It is a habit we can develop to replace the stress habit. When we are stressed, the stress response is activated, and if we have a wonderful habit of activating the relaxation response it can, and will, provide a place, in our mind and body, to feel safe and relaxed.

If we focus on the best possible outcome, and remain relaxed, the burden of our stress is lightened and we can easily overcome our stress, no matter what we are going through.

A great affirmation for when you have stress, you are focusing on the best outcome, and you practice the relaxation response is, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." ~Philippians 4:13

Affirmations are just reminders, and this reminder, if you say it to yourself over and over again, will build your faith, and help you succeed. So memorize it, and say it often, especially when you feel stressed.

That's all I got. You are doing great! Keep up the excellent work! Have fun! Be playful!

Love you lots ;0)

BIG HUGS...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

;0)

MY OWN STANDARDS

2012-02-14T04:11:00.001-08:00

Hello there. How's it going? Did you have a most magnificent weekend? I sho did ;0) Once again, I fell in love. Matter of fact, I fell in love a few times. Dang, I love that, falling in love. I love love. Okay, okay, enough about love, again, but you know I can't help it.

Got a scripture for you.

Matthew 7:3 says, "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beem in thine own eye?"

This scripture means, to me, why are you judging, or trying to fix someone else when you could be judged for what you do, or when you got a whole lotta fixen to do in yourself?

Mote means a chip or splinter, and a beem is something big that they use in constructing a house or building. Therefore, whatever you are judging in someone else is much smaller than what you could be judged for.

This, my friend is great advice. Whenever I feel like I want to give someone advice (like in my blog for instance), I know there are at least two things going on for me. First, I am looking at what I think needs to be fixed in someone else, meaning I am being critical. Second, I need to give that advice to myself, which means, living up to my own standards. Practice what I preach! You know what I mean?

When I want to fix someone else, I am looking at their imperfection, rather than looking at their assets. "Guess what?" I say to myself, "We are all imperfect Elizabeth."

A very stressful habit is focusing on peoples' imperfections. It is a habit of being critical, when we could just as easily be complimenting. If we are critical, it shows the mood of our mind. If the mood of our mind is critical of others, you can bet it is critical of ourselves. When we are critical of ourselves, we tend to have a very low self-confidence which produces doubt. Any kind of doubt, fear, or worry will create stress.

You know, and I know, we can be our own worst enemies by being critical of, or having doubt in ourselves. All the decisions we make in this life are based on doubt or certainty. If we make decisions based on doubt, we miss out on some seriously spectacular goods. If we make decisions on certainty, we achieve, advance, gain, and obtain.

How did being critical become a habit? Well, I'll tell you. Most likely, when we were younger, and as we grew up, we could have done a thousand things right all day long with not a word said, and yet, when we did one thing wrong, we were criticized, and then corrected. So, other peoples' habits became ours.

The best thing I can do, when I write a blog post, or help an individual is, take my own advice, and live up to my own standards.

Do I take my own advice? I sho do! Eh-em, most of the time.

Do I live up to my own standards? I sho do try, but like I say, to myself, "Nobody is perfect Elizabeth."

One of the things I love to do the mostest is, I love, love, love to encourage people. Even though I am a Destress Yourself Specialist, I would love my title to be a Courage Specialist. And because I love to encourage others, I spend a lot of time encouraging myself. I am my own cheerleader.

"You can do it Elizabeth!" I say to myself.

Encouraging and complimenting others is much better than criticizing or trying to fix them. Taking my own advice, that I want to give to others, and encouraging myself is much better than criticizing. Truly, just a simple choice, don't you think?

This week, and if I am brave enough, for the weeks to come, I will live up to my own standards by taking my own advice. Whatever advice I am about to give, I will hush up and give it to myself, in my head of course. I will focus on peoples' abundance and I will compliment and encourage them. I will look at my abundance, and I will compliment and encourage myself more.

Sounds like a great way to destress myself, wouldn't you agree?

Hope you have a glorious week. You can do it! LOL! You are glorious!

How am I doing so far?

Have fun! Be playful! And, speak soon!

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

:D

HAVE FAITH IN YOUR DREAMS!

2012-01-24T07:18:00.001-08:00

Hello there!

It is a great year already, I can feel it in my bones, and in my soul.

So far, I am doing really good on my New Year Resolutions. How bout you?

My resolutions are...

To be healthier and to serve more people in more ways. That's it!

Although, there is a huge list of things I have to do, and want to do, that goes under each of those goals. My goals are very specific, and so I have a lot of work to do.

One thing I know for sure is, I may have a set back or I may mess up a little but you know what? That is totally okay in my head. That sounds funny. Anyway, what I mean is, I will not give up if I have a set back or if I mess up a little, or a lot.

My mantras for my goals are, "I can do this! I have faith that I can do these things. I will not give up."

I am so focused, it is magnificent, in my head. ;0)

Do you have your goals? How are you doing? Do you have faith that you can accomplish your goals? Do you have the mindset that you WILL NOT give up?

In Hebrews 11:1, it says, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Now is the time, more than ever, to have faith in yourself, and your goals. Now is the time, more than ever, to hope for the things that you want that have not yet come to pass. Now is the time, more than ever, especially if you want a better you and a better year, to be focused more than ever.

You can do it my friend.

You can do this!

Have faith!

Never give up!

Say it with me now, "I can do this! I have faith I can do these things! I will not give up!"

Have a great week. Have fun and be playful too ;0)

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

WHY I AM NOT A THERAPIST!

2012-01-18T04:05:00.000-08:00

Hello there. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Am gonna keep saying that for the whole month.

As we embark on our New Year and become New again, I would like to talk a lil about myself. How vein! I know. ~giggle

I love to serve, I love to help, and I love to show people their greatest potential especially when they have never seen it. I love to bring people from crisis to calm, I love to help people overcome burnout and create happiness, energy, and vitality, and I love to assist people in discovering how to eliminate their stress with permanent stress relief.

I do not love therapists and I do not have a whole lotta confidence in the therapy process.

There are several reasons why I am not a therapist and why I am not a lover of the therapy. It all began back when I was getting my Masters in Counseling at the Uni. As I was completing my Masters Program, I was lucky enough to participate in an internship at the Counseling Center at the Uni, and this is what I discovered...

Most people who go to counseling, in my experience, do not want to help themselves. There are about one in ten that will not take the victim stance and really focus on improving their situation. That is only 10%. In addition, I believe with all my heart and soul, that people who go to Counseling are having a hard time with life because they just never learned how to handle the stress of life. No one taught them how to relieve their stress, and so they get in a place of trouble.

About the victim stance. What I mean by this is, when someone is having a hard time with life but won't look at themselves and their personal challenges. They tend to blame others and life for their misfortune. They sometimes get so caught up in their anger, anxiety, and/or depression they cannot, and will not believe they can do anything about it because they believe it is the fault of others, and the faulty world they live in.

Another reason for my reasons is most students who want to become Therapists are really unsound themselves. It is my humble opinion, and experience, that the students that I knew in school had their own issues to deal with, were still quite adolescent, and usually didn't like themselves or their clients. How can you help your clients if you are troubled and you don't even like your clients?

Another reason for my reasons is, most teachers that are teaching people to be Therapists are dubious and perplexed. Now this again is only my opinion. The sad part about all of this is I use to look up to Professors and thought they were brilliant until I really got to know some of mine during my Masters. OUCH! Harsh, I know.

Another reason, most Therapists are unbalanced. Again, my opinion. As a student in the Counseling Program, I had to participate in my own counseling for 30 hours. Lord have mercy, it was not an easy task to find one that didn't have issues. The really good ones, that were referred, were all booked up, and weren't available for the entire year.

Searching for my own therapist took about thirteen tries. When I would call the Therapist to make an appointment, I had certain questions that I would ask to make sure they would meet my criteria. The majority of them got offended or became arrogant like, "How dare you ask me that." Crazy, huh?

To me, arrogance is ignorance, and getting offended when someone asks you a question is quite adolescent. It is totally appropriate and professional to ask questions, it is called communicating.

One last thing. The Uni neglected to tell me, and I failed to find out, that a Therapist makes thousands of dollars less than I was already making. All though this is a disappointment, totally my fault, money is not the factor in my decision on helping people, it is a good side note though.

Now, I am not a Therapist just because of the lack of money, I am not a Therapist mostly because I really want to serve and I really want to help people. If people who come to therapy need ways to relieve stress but don't really want help, I don't see how I can accomplish my mission. When I am financially strapped, I don't necessarily see how I can progress and help others either.

This is all my choice, and my opinion. No offense to the good Therapists out there. You know who you are.

MY DISCLAIMER... I do believe that there are good therapists out there, and I do believe that therapy can help, it's just not for me, and the above statement is just me utilizing my freedom of expression of my opinion.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because I want you to know a lot about me and because what I do is not therapy, it is education.

Moreover, maybe you need help with your situation and I want you to see, if you are having a hard time with life, it may just be that you haven't mastered the art of stress relief. When you are in the Emergency Field, you can see things that are so abnormally out of the ordinary, your mind may have a very difficult time dealing with, and enduring it.

Additionally, many people who come to me for help take the victim stance, in that they believe that they cannot do anything about their situation because of others' behaviors, and how horrible life is. If that is true for you, you must know, there are thousands of people that I know of, and probably millions out there, who are doing business with some serious stress and are learning to destress themselves by looking at their own thoughts, feelings, and actions and trading them for more successful ones.

Their are a couple of people that call or text me, now and again, who take the victim stance, and for the life of me, I want to help them but, like addicted individuals, you can't help someone if they won't let you. They want their external circumstances to change, and will not change themselves within. They want to call me and wallow in their misery, instead of doing something about it. They know everything, they are unwilling to listen to anyone else and their point of view, and they don't want to do anything for their self-improvement.

Sounds like I am complaining. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not but, what I say is all true, in my opinion ;0) Being the victim is not bad, it is quite normal, because we all do it, just some do it more than others. We all do the victim dance in certain circumstances. I am like that on certain things, and I was one of the worst victims in my past. Some how, some way, I saw the light, and I am a lot less victimy than I use to be. ~giggle

Those who are willing to help themselves can make a better life.

If you are having a hard time with life, your career, your relationship, or any other aspect of being, and you want it to get better, I invite you to email me, and see what we can do. I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Elizabeth

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Happy New Year!!!

2012-01-04T06:41:00.000-08:00

Hey there, Happy New Year my fellow Emergency Worker! It is my hope that you had an easy New Years Eve transition into the New Year. The reason I say that is when I worked out in the field, I had some seriously busy shifts on the Holidays, especially when I worked around Pasadena because of the Rose Parade. I remember one year, there were not enough resources, and my partner and I were running calls by ourselves without the Fire Department or PD. It was exciting and fun, but taxing.

Let's talk about the New Year.

It is my opinion that a good way to start the year for Emergency Personnel, is to evaluate our own stress. This is a practice I have been implementing for many, many years, for myself, and with others.

One approach to this practice is to notice negative emotions that may be dominant in your life. For example, if you are frequently angry, bitter, or irritable then you are right smack dab in the middle of stress.

There are three kinds of stress and they are general, cumulative (also known as burnout), and critical. Any one of these can be acute or chronic.

General stress is every day stress when you have to deal with a busy, tight schedule, and you are trying to get everything done so that you can make every body happy. This type of stress may include responsibilities that could drain your energy.

Cumulative stress, also known as Burnout, is when you are exhausted, cynical, and often times very ineffective because of the burn out.

Critical stress is when you have a crisis or a critical incident that affects your ability to function productively within your typical responsibilities.

All of these types of stress are very common amongst Emergency Responders.

These types of stress' are not necessarily caused by our circumstances, the causes are more from our reactions.

Examples...

General stress; let's say you are strapped financially. The finances are not the stress, the reaction of fear of the outcome to the finances cause the stress.

Cumulative stress; let's say you have been exhausted emotionally, mentally, physically, or spiritually for weeks now. The exhaustion is not the stress, it is our beliefs, and behaviors, that are causing the exhaustion. Therefore, the beliefs, and behaviors, are our reactions to our circumstances that are creating the stress.

Critical stress; let's say you had a very gruesome fatality call, and the patient/victim was the same age as someone in your family that is really close to you. For weeks, the call plays out in your mind, over and over, you have nightmares about it, and you start to have anger, anxiety, depression, or serious apprehension. The stress is not the call, it is created by the reaction in the mind, and thus the negative emotions.

The best way to explain it is, when we have circumstances that are less than desirable in our life, if we tend to worry, and then think about the worst possible outcome, we cause ourselves stress. If we tend to focus on the solution, and have faith that there won't be any problems, we cause ourselves comfort. See the difference?

Many of you already know this, and it may be just a reminder, but what I am trying to say is, if you have negative emotions, it is coming from your thoughts of doubt, fear, or worry. If you can figure out what you are afraid of, you can change your thoughts into faith. It's just a thought, and we can choose any thoughts we want.

So, in order to evaluate your stress, notice any negative emotions, figure out what your afraid of in your circumstances, stop thinking about the worst possible outcome, focus on a solution, have faith that you can do the things you need to do, and wallah, you destress yourself.

It is a great way to start the year. If you need help, overcoming your stress, and creating confidence, certainty, and faith, take my How To Destress Yourself Class, it will help you overcome stressful habits that are causing negative emotions.

Start your New Year out right!

Speak soon...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

:D

DESTRESS YOUR DIFFICULT TIMES

2011-12-31T06:43:00.001-08:00

BREAKING POINT

Hey there. How are you? Am having a great week, how bout you? Hope so ;0)

Have you ever felt like you were at a breaking point? If you have, you know what it is, and you will know exactly what I am talking about.

A breaking point is an emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual place where you feel like you are going to break. It is a place that you are so overwhelmed that you feel like you cannot take it anymore. I have seen this place, I have seen it in my own life, and in many other lives. Do you know what I am talking about?

When we are at a breaking point, this place, will 'make us' or 'break us'. This is a place that I have been with hundreds of individuals. They say that they can't take anymore, and they feel like they are going to break.

The breaking point is usually when you are overwhelmed and everything is in your face. You think like, oh shizzz, what am I going to do? You feel like, AAAHHH! I can't take it anymore. And then you have to make a decision on what to do.

Usually, when we are at this point we are thinking of all the things that are wrong, and then we think about the worst possible outcome that can happen for us. This is major fear, and this is major worry that can cause anxiety.

This can be a very critical point in our life. This can be a moment, or 6 months, of crisis.

Through the years, I have worked with many individuals who were at this point. A couple of the people I have worked with are teenagers, who are in a situation at home that is causing severe anxiety, and/or depression. Some others, I have worked with, are having severe financial difficulties, who have lost everything, and I mean everything tangible. Additionally, I have worked with people who are emotionally spent due to loneliness, despair, or frustration.

So, if you are at a breaking point, what can you do?

I am so very excited that you asked ;0)

When you are at a breaking point, the first thing you have to do is ask yourself what the heck it is? What is going on for you right now? I guarantee it is fear of what might happen and the thought that you will not know how to, or if you can, handle it. What are you afraid of? Ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?"

At this point, the best thing to do is pour your heart out to God. Talk to Him, and tell him what you are afraid of, and what your biggest fears are. Why do you want to do this? You want to do this because you are Heavenly Father's child, and He loves you. You are so very special to Him, and you will feel comfort from this because He wants you to turn to Him so that He can give you comfort.

After you do this, you will feel comfort.

With all my heart, I believe that when we have troubles, I mean really big troubles, it is an opportunity to get closer to God. Part of the reason He gives us trials is so we can learn to lean on Him more frequently.

In Romans 12:12 it says, " Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;"

Rejoicing in hope means to be happy for your ambitions, aspirations, and dreams. Patient in tribulation means willing to endure the thing, or things, that is causing your pain and unhappiness. Continuing instant in prayer means to persist and carry on immediately and urgently in your conversations with God.

Basically, focus on your dreams, be willing to endure the trial that you have been given, and persist, right now, in your conversations with God.

When we are at a breaking point, I truly believe we do the opposite. We focus on what we don't want, we are impatient, and we want to quit and give up.

My friend, dream big, focus on what you want, be willing to endure your trials, and be constantly in the conversation with God.

You can do this. You got the power. You are so very special and you must remind yourself of this in the moment of a breaking point, and the entire time you have the struggle that you are going through.

Get your journal, write down all the things you dream of in your life, and write down all of the evidence, your successes and accomplishments, that remind you that you can have them.

And know this... You can handle anything you are going through, you can handle anything that comes your way, and you will manage this because you always have overcome your trials in the past.

You are so very capable, you are so very smart, you are so very strong, and you are so very divine. The thing is, if you are at a breaking point, you may have just forgot all of your divinity. You are a child of God, and that makes you divine.

You can be, do, and have anything your heart desires, believe in this, and believe in yourself. Have faith my friend! God has faith in you! I have faith in you as well!

If you need help, take the destress yourself class and it will take you through a step by step series of actions to help you explore, discover, and obtain what you want, and show you how you can get it.

That's all I got.

Have fun this weekend. Be playful!

Big Hugs... AND MERRY CHRISTMAS BABY!!!

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

Untitled

2011-12-30T19:12:00.001-08:00

MY JOURNEY

Hey there. How the heck are you? I am very well, thank you very much.

I wanted to show you my journal. That is a picture of it right there ->

Pretty cool aye?

I just wanted you to know how serious I am about setting and obtaining goals. It's not just about goals though, it is about being happy, and making things better and better, no matter what you are going through.

Last Tuesday, I wrote about Never Ending Goal Setting, because I believe, with all my heart and soul, that the only way to diligently progress and produce in this life is by constantly setting and obtaining goals, and by an enduring determination to evaluate our development so that we can continue to improve.

People are always complaining and speaking about how hard life is when in actuality, it really isn't that bad or hard. I hear woman talk about how horrible a commercial is or how devastating someone's behavior is but it is all an illusion. You know what is devastating? Loosing your legs, and not being able to walk, or loosing a lung so that you are unable to function actively, not a commercial or someone's behavior.

What I think about these individuals who complain and cry woe is me, all the time, is that they are not learning or moving forward. When you learn and move forward, you discover that life is not really hard (well sometimes it is ;)), and there isn't anything that you can't handle because you have become stronger and stronger from your challenges.

Trust me on this one ;)

One of the biggest things that has helped me move forward and discover that I can handle anything is my writing. My writing began in my journals, then I did a lot in college, and now I blog. My writing is not the best but, you should have read it before I went to college. I was raised by a Mother who's second language is English, and it really shows in my journals. It really shows on my blog, as well, but it is a lot better than it was.

Tangent! LOL

What I am trying to say is, I have come a long way because of my writing, especially in my journals. I have set and obtained some serious goals, and I have overcome some serious challenges. What is so cool is, I can look back at where I was in life, my anxiety, my depression, my alcoholism, or my PTSD, I know how far I have come, and know that I can handle anything. It is because of this constant goal setting and evaluating of myself that has gotten me where I am now.

No! I am not a millionaire, yet! But I am stronger spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. The only reason I say that is because most people attribute moneys to success when I look at the ability to be happy and still move forward in life, under any circumstance, as being successful. In order to be happy and still move forward, under any circumstance, one must be strong spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. The way you get there is learning more from your challenges, having faith in yourself, and having a very strong spiritual relationship with God.

There have been many times in my life when I have been angry, anxious, depressed, and overwhelmed. Those were my challenges, and I have learned from them primarily through the documentation of my thoughts, feelings, actions, attitudes, and goals.

When I was a young single Mother, I use to have severe anxiety over money. As I look back, and read my journal entries, I can remember the thoughts and feelings, and I can know, without a doubt, that if I made it through that, I can make it through anything. This, my friend, is an unbelievable gift that I have taught to hundreds, if not thousands, of people.

In my last post, I wrote that I too would get my journal and start my never ending goal setting process, and I have. I wrote my goals for 2012, right after I wrote that post.

So, get your journal, take responsibility for your life, get ready to destress yourself for 2012, get back to the basics, start to overcome some amazing challenges, and do it with faith, RIGHT NOW!

Let's do this together. If you journal, I promise you, you will see some amazing things happen in your life and it won't be just setting and obtaining goals, it is much bigger than that.

You can do this!

You got the power!

You can be, do, and have anything your heart desires in 2012!

Don't you wanna? I know you do!

Good luck my friend. Speak soon...

Don't forget! Have fun! Be playful!

If you need help through this process of never ending goal setting, the destress yourself class will take you through a step by step series of actions to help you explore, discover, and obtain what you want.

Big Hugs...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

GOT GOALS?

2011-12-30T06:57:00.001-08:00

NEVER ENDING GOAL SETTING

Hello!

NEVER ENDING GOAL SETTING!

Did you know that if you don't have goals you are in the constant state of going nowhere?

Did you know that if you are in the constant state of going nowhere, you can cause yourself some stress?

As spiritual, and human, beings, we must move forward to feel good about ourselves. If we do not feel good about ourselves, our self-confidence and self-esteem is very low. If we feel low, we have a void, and we tend to fill that void with very stressful habits like eating, smoking, drinking, inappropriate relationships, or drama.

Do you get up everyday, get ready for work or school, go to work/school, get home, watch TV, eat dinner, watch more TV, go to bed, and do it all over again? If you do, you are in the constant state of going nowhere.

Life is a learning experience and one of the things we can learn is never ending goal setting.

Whether we have small or large goals we will move forward in life. When we move forward in life we feel good about ourselves.

When we don't have any goals we stay in the constant state of going nowhere and we feel displeased with ourselves. When we feel unfulfilled we feel unhappy. Unhappiness can stress us out. We have a choice, we can stay in the constant state of going nowhere or we can choose never ending goal setting.

Some goals that you may consider are financial, relationship, health, or career. They can be big or small.

If you would like to make more money you can make that a goal.

If you would like to get along better with your spouse or family members you could make that a goal.

If you would like to feel better physically you could make that a goal.

If you are unhappy in your career you could make a goal out of looking for another job.

The best way to set a goal is to think about what you want. Ask yourself, "What do I really want?"

The answer may be to weigh less, or be happier, or to overcome anger, or make more money, or find an eternal companion, or to increase self-awareness, or to serve, or to find passion or purpose. These are simple wants and yet still goals.

Once you have an idea of what you want you can take steps to obtaining your goal(s).

First, think about the best for yourself. Dream and imagine what a perfect life would look like.

Second, write your goals down.

Third, prioritize your goals.

Fourth, write down all the things 'to do' to obtain the goal(s).

Fifth, start 'to do!'

Sixth, believe you will obtain them.

Seventh, and final, never give up!

You can do this!

Staying stagnant in our lives can cause stress because our lives may lack excitement or pleasure. Take time to explore what you really want out of life and move on it. If you move forward only one step at a time you will be that much closer to your goal, by that one step.

Setting goals and obtaining them creates excitement and enthusiasm for life. If we are excited and enthusiastic about life we feel successful and that is what destressing yourself is all about, moving from stress to success.

So, get your journal my friend, and start the never ending goal setting process. I'm gonna! Right now! You can too!

You got the power! You can do this!

If you need help through this process, the destress yourself class will take you through a step by step series of actions to help you explore, discover, and obtain what you want.

Big Hugs...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class

DESTRESS YOURSELF WITH PRAYER

2011-12-29T18:54:00.001-08:00

PRAYER ;)

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. ~Isaiah 41:10

Hello my friend. How was your week? Mine was magnifico, as usual ;)

I have a friend who says that I am in denial about my stress. Isn't that cute? He thinks that because there are certain aspects in my life that are not perfect, that I pretend to be happy. I do not pretend to be happy. I am happy about 95% of the time and maybe, sometimes, 99% of the time, and I will tell you why.

No matter what is going on in my life, I am happy because I know without a doubt that my Heavenly Father loves me, that I am very precious to Him, and that He is watching out for me every minute, of every hour, and every hour of every day.

The first thing I do every morning is I pray unto Him. The last thing I do, every night, is I pray unto Him. When I feel sad, He is the first person I have a conversation with. When I am sad, when I feel anxious, and when ever I feel like I don't want to feel, I pour my heart out to Him.

Every time I pour my heart out to Heavenly Father, I feel comfort almost immediately.

If you are having a hard time I would like to persuade you to pour your heart out unto Him. You are a child of God, and He loves you, you are so very special to Him. You are a gift from the Divine.

As I was trying to decide what to blog about for our New Year Resolutions, I thought that I should discuss the most important things that pertain to permanent stress relief, in other words, how to destress yourself.

To me, one of the most important things that we can do is cry unto Heavenly Father when we are stressed, not only will you build a very close relationship with Him, you will find and develop this way of destressing immediately.

Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. ~ Jeremiah 29:12

What I am trying to do is persuade you to journal and evaluate your frequency of prayer and your relationship with God. Contemplate this because if you would like to improve upon it, you can make it a New Year Resolution.

If you do, you will certainly destress yourself.

Have a wonderful weekend. Have fun and don't forget to be playful, I really mean that.

Big Hugs...

Elizabeth

Subscribe to my blog by putting your email address in the box above, and you will receive updated posts. Don't forget to confirm your subscription.

If you need help, email me, I would love to hear from you and help you in any way I can.

elizabethstanfill@gmail.com

Or, you can download one of my products to help destress yourself

If you really need to destress yourself, take the class